Original subtitles

If you didn't mean to do it, why did you?

I guess I wanted to find out what the fun was.

Fun?

My mother says that men are the only animals that kill for fun.

Danny, will you wait for me outside?

I want to have a word with your mother.

We won't be long.

Why did you take that boy out of school?

His teacher was a fool.

I taught him more in two months than he learned at school in a full term.

In the course of his studies

what have you taught him about respect for the law?

As he grows up, he'll learn that there are good laws and bad ones.

- He'll respect the good ones. - And disobey the bad ones?

At least I hope he does.

Based only on his personal judgment as an individual human being?

Now, you can't choose between right and wrong by taking a census.

You can choose by respecting the whole body of the laws

as man's best hope for justice.

Why does a young woman like you live way out there alone

in a shack on a deserted beach?

I don't live alone. I live with my son

and I live there because I love it.

I love every day I spend out there and every night.

I love the sea and the mountains and the sky and the birds and I love all of it.

Then I take it, you feel you have escaped

from the corruption and conformity of the modern world

and that your life is serene

because, like Thoreau you live in direct communion with nature.

But Thoreau didn't go to Walden Pond

with a 9-year-old boy.

What are you trying to raise? A "noble savage"?

What would you have me raise?

A slick little specialist in weather-cocksman-ship?

I beg your pardon?

Oh you know: whirling around like a weathercock

every time the wind changes.

Oh yes, of course.

I see.

Let me see. Is this the third time

that you and Danny have been brought up before me or the fourth?

- The third. - And the first was...

The little girl.

Oh yes, of course.

She was swinging.

Her skirt blew back and Danny put his hand on her thigh.

- Well? - Oh the child was frightened.

Oh come on! She was delighted.

And it was her dirty-minded mother that made the trouble.

And then there were the two horses

that Danny turned loose, and finally the deer.

Well that makes three strikes and out.

You've heard of San Simeon School haven't you?

- That religious school? - Episcopalian.

The headmaster is a friend of mine.

I'm going to ask him to enroll your son.

Oh no, you don't! He is my son. I'll be damned if...

It's either that or reform school.

Now force my hand and I'll take him away from you altogether.

I'm going to make an appointment for you with the Reverend Dr. Hewitt

and I suggest that you keep it.

It's Cos and Larry. Hi

Sweetie, what are you doing way out here?

We called by your home and there was nobody there.

- And now you see why. - Where are you going?

Oh San Simeon. Is that too far out of your way?

Out by about 10 miles.

San Simeon? Two nice people like you? What's the word?

Our English tongue has a long history

and I am pleased with your interest in its oldest and most ardent words.

I think it's sad, however, that these ancient expressions

should be degraded to a position on lavatory walls.

You will scrub the walls down, of course.

Then you will learn the equivalent words in German, French and Latin

after which you will decline each noun and conjugate each verb in all tenses

including the subjunctive.

Thank you for your attention and good day.

- Edward, do you have a minute? - Of course.

I just had another call from Ward Hendricks

and he said, since it was you who put him in charge of the Building Fund

the least you can do is make up your mind about flunking the Rogers boy.

Chapel in 15 minutes, sir.

Thank you, Tommy.

What's this got to do with Ward Hendricks?

Jack Rogers is willing to make a substantial donation to the fund

if his boy stays in school, so quite naturally

Ward wants your answer.

What would you do in my shoes?

Wear them.

Very well.

If Jack Rogers' contribution

falls within the range of $2,000

that quality of mercy which runs through my blood like a fever

whenever money is mentioned

will be strained yet once more to give the Rogers boy another chance

his third, I believe.

Dr. Hewitt

the boy Judge Thompson sent you is here with his mother.

Thompson?

Oh yes, yes. Send the mother in first.

- Her name is Reynolds. - Reynolds. Thank you.

You're Mrs. Reynolds. I'm Dr. Hewitt.

Please sit down: over there.

I am told you've brought a young man for us.

I was ordered to bring him.

Yes. Well I hope we'll be able to help him.

I want to make it quite clear that in my opinion he doesn't need any help.

Yes, I see. Judge Thompson has briefed me, of course

but I'd like a little more general background.

For example what is the chief source of your income?

I'm an artist.

I paint. Nobody buys.

Then I turn out water colors when I need grocery money.

May I ask, what are your religious affiliations?

- Of course. I am a naturalist. - What?

We believe that man is doomed by his myths

that there can be no peace on earth until man rids himself

of all belief in the supernatural.

I see. Yes, very interesting. Go on.

That's about it.

It's a very small sect.

With a membership of approximately one?

Exactly one.

With Danny as an officiate, of course

but I have no objection to your lack of religion or to your son's.

But you do have compulsory religious training here, don't you?

Well chapel is compulsory, yes but I have never yet forced a boy to pray.

It can't be done, you know?

It could be tried.

San Simeon is not a jail, Mrs. Reynolds.

Students don't come here to be punished. They come here to be educated.

Now we don't have many boys from broken homes, but...

My son is not from a broken home.

Oh. Forgive me. I was under the impression that you've been divorced.

I've never been married.

Oh I see.

That puts an entirely different light on the matter.

Abandonment by the father...

I was not abandoned by the father, Dr. Hewitt.

The father was abandoned by me.

Are you trying to shock me

Miss Reynolds?

You may call me Mrs. Reynolds if you like.

...because if you are, it's not easily done.

You asked the questions.

You're a minister. You wouldn't want me to lie to you, would you?

Neither would I want you to lie to me if I were a truck driver or a disk jockey.

I questioned you because it's my job to do so.

You send us a deeply disturbed boy...

My son is not deeply disturbed. He is not disturbed at all.

He's a healthy, normal boy because he hasn't been brainwashed yet!

and I aim to see that he stays that way.

What happened?

I am not exactly sure.

She didn't seem to have any doubts.

Apparently she thought I was behaving like a pompous idiot.

Were you?

Probably.

Look out for those rocks. Be careful, they're loose.

Joe, cross over and cut him off. If he gets to the top, we'll never catch him.

Danny, they're trying to head you off. Run, Danny. Run.

Oh God!

Lady, he's not going to jail. He's just going to school.

School!

Just 10 more minutes and we would have been gone.

It's an outrage, dragging a 9-year-old child into San Simeon under armed guard.

Well how else can you take him?

What, do you think one runaway boy

justifies setting up a police state in Monterey County?

Yeah. That's about the way it shapes up, Ed.

If you'd treated the mother a little more tactfully, it might not have happened.

Now that it has, I'm darn well going to see it through.

Do you accept the boy or don't you?

Of course I accept him

but after what's happened it's going to be difficult to prove to him

that we're not running an extermination camp out here.

I've never been too sure myself.

I've got somebody on the other wire. Goodbye, Ed.

One of your room mates is younger than you.

The other two are a little bit older.

Don't their folks like them?

What do you mean?

Sending them away like this.

Well of course they like them. They love them.

My mother wouldn't send me away.

She likes me to be with her.

So do all the parents, Danny, but...

Tell me about your mother.

How do you spend your time? What do you do together?

Oh we fish and she paints

and I hunt and get the firewood.

We swim and we play music

and she teaches my lessons

and we read poetry to each other to memorize it.

What sort of poetry?

The last was Canterbury Tales, only, we didn't get to finish it.

You were memorizing The Canterbury Tales?

Yeah, by Chaucer, you know.

A long time ago.

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote

The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

And bathed every veyne in swich licour

Of which vertu engendred is the flour

You know?

Which is my bed?

Oh this one

and this is your desk

and this is where your clothes go.

I didn't bring any clothes.

Oh well, we'll pick them up for you.

This is your study kit and this is how it opens.

You work with that for a while

and I'll go and get your bedding. The bathroom's right behind you.

I'll be back in a minute.

The background is still quite unclear to me

but what I know of it thus far isn't good.

I advise you to keep him on a very tight leash.

I saw you through the window and decided not to interrupt.

It's just as well. He was reciting the Prologue to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales

in Old English.

- You're not serious. - I'm completely so. So was he.

So apparently was his mother when she taught him.

It sounded perfect.

Now you see the problem.

Oh it's rather pleasantly different.

- It will be like taming a bird. - Two birds, really.

Why two?

The mother will need as much help as the boy.

Oh and another thing. We'll have to pick up his clothes.

Oh yes. Could you arrange to pick up his things?

Why don't you do it yourself?

It's a good opportunity to see where the boy has been raised.

A good opportunity to take more abuse from the mother, if you ask me.

Anybody there?

Sorry. I knocked.

The door was open. I decided to wait.

It's a baby sandpiper.

I think his wing is broken.

Would you light that lamp for me, please?

- There's some matches right there. - Sure.

I have to try and make a splint.

- What are you doing that for? - This is supposed to hypnotize him.

The break's here.

- Is it strong enough? - It should be. I hope so.

Would you tear off about an inch and a half of this?

A baby.

Now would you put that

right over this part of the wing? gently

Wait a minute. There.

You will need a cage until it heals.

- That would spoil everything. - It's wild.

That's why he shouldn't have a cage.

The only way you can tame a bird is to let him fly free

if he can fly, of course.

It's the only way you can tame anything.

There, little sandpiper.

You don't have on your collar.

Well I don't wear it always, you know.

It's not even a requirement of my profession.

Why did you come here?

Well I wanted you to know that Danny is in good hands.

My wife has been with him most of the afternoon.

- She says he's a fine boy. - Your wife?

My God! He is my son, not hers.

Look at this place.

It's clean. It's dry. It's warm.

We have food.

We have music. We have books to read.

We have paints. We have clay to make things up.

What's wrong with it?

Who in this whole damn world could be rotten enough

to take a kid away from his home and give him away to a school?

It may be hard for you to believe, Miss Reynolds

but boys like children of their own age.

They also like some order in their lives.

Given just a little time, Danny will adjust beautifully.

Adjust to what?

To himself, to other people, to society.

That's just it.

I don't want him to adjust to society.

Well if you want Danny to be a non-conformist

San Simeon is the best place that could happen to him.

We'll give him a set of values there that he can rebel against later.

Otherwise, he may rebel against yours.

Oh I see.

You mean, you teach children evil

so that they can rebel against it when they grow and become good.

I didn't mean that at all and you know it.

Meanwhile the court has ordered us to take the boy

and I beg you to give the school a fair trial.

I don't see what choice I have.

His bag was already packed.

We were going to Nevada when the cops came.

It's all I have left of him.

You might as well take that too.

We're not going to devour him, Miss Reynolds.

You've got quite the wrong idea.

We're not the lions at San Simeon.

We're the Christians.

Goodbye.

Well

there you have it.

I can't believe we made him that unhappy.

Has it shown in the rest of his work?

He is falling behind in all the subjects he likes best, particularly English.

Have you tried taking away his privileges?

- I don't think it would work. - Then what will?

I'd like to try an experiment.

Let him sit in on other English classes regardless of the age group

and choose the one he'd like to join.

No no no. I don't agree with that theory at all.

Besides, I don't want to start making exceptions.

The boy himself is an exception.

Even so, I don't want to start something that will make people think

we're turning radical around here.

Even if you would, nobody would ever believe you.

- Hello, Walter. - Hello.

Ward Hendricks called from San Francisco. He's driving down this afternoon.

He wants to know if you'll fill out a golf foursome at Pebble Beach.

Oh Jim Harold and Phil Sutcliff will be there.

Oh

The money is in town.

Good idea. Tell him I'll call him back.

Tell them to bring their check books.

- You mean it, Phil? - Sure I mean it.

You hit the green and it's 3 grand out of my hide for your Chapel Fund.

If you flunk it, I don't lay out a dime.

All right.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Take not the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Hey what are you doing with three aces, kid?

That Reynolds boy, is he bridle-broke yet?

I think we're getting the bit between his teeth.

The colt's been too long with the mare.

If you weren't a man of the cloth I'd recommend you gentled her

before you tackled him.

Lady artists can be fun.

Judge Thompson, I've finally found one bottle of your favorite blend.

Did he say "Reynolds"?

Yeah. A new boy at school.

Would the lady artist's name be "Laura Reynolds"?

- Do you know her? - Yeah. Well sort of.

Does she live around here?

Yeah. She's got a cabin on the coast in Big Sur.

Really?

Do you...

Do you know her well?

Well that's hard to say. I don't think anybody knows her well.

No, it's not a tale for your ears.

Well if you're referring to the boy, I know he's illegitimate.

The mother told me so herself.

Don't look at me like that. I'm not the daddy.

I wasn't trying to pry into your private life

but the boy poses something of a problem at school.

It would be helpful if I knew something of the mother's background.

- Well I take it, this would be confidential? - Of course.

- Charlie. One more time. - Right, Mr. Ward.

Well if she was telling the truth, which she usually does

it shapes up something like this.

From a nice respectable Indianapolis family

boy the same, only rich

boy: 19, girl: 17, girl pregnant and the boy wanted to marry her

but she'd have no part of it.

Her father arranged an abortion. She'd have no part of that either.

So she left home, comes to California has the baby

and is still there.

- Thank you, Charlie. - All right.

Who's paying the boy's tuition?

I'm asking several of the trustees to share it

you included.

All right, all right. Fair enough.

Listen. Sure you won't stick around and change your mind, have dinner?

No. Thanks all the same.

Come on in.

Oh I'm sorry. I was looking for Miss Reynolds.

She's over there.

Miss Reynolds?

Dr. Hewitt, meet Cos Erickson

boy beatnik.

How do you do?

Glad to know you, Reverend.

Why don't you sit down?

Yes, well thank you.

I was driving from Monterey

and I spotted your mailbox.

Laura, this way a little bit more.

- Is that right? - Yes

What were you saying, Dr. Hewitt?

He was saying he was driving around in the dark of night

and just happened to spot your mailbox.

Yes and I thought I'd tell you

that we have high hopes for Danny's progress.

In what way, Dr. Hewitt?

Well we were thinking of

changing certain classes for him in certain subjects.

That's nice. What subjects?

English and history.

I should hope so. He was very good in those subjects

before you took him away from me. I taught them to him.

Yes, I know that.

The sandpiper appears to be doing rather well, I see.

Yes. He'll be flying soon.

Cos, can we quit work now?

I'd like to get some clothes on.

All right, sure.

It's all right, since I'm not paying you.

Thanks.

- Reverend, are you interested in art? - "Reverend" is not a title.

It's an adjective that qualifies a title.

You may more properly address me as "doctor" or "mister".

- Excuse me. - No, not at all. It's a common error.

As for your question: Yes, I am interested in art.

Yeah, probably the same way I am interested in religion.

I doubt that.

You know, Reverend

I've always had a yen to ask some qualified person a few questions

about the Virgin birth.

Having so powerful a thirst for knowledge

you should have asked those questions years ago. Fire away.

Well you see

I've had a theory that no well-educated priest or minister

could possibly believe the greater part of our Christian dogma

in this year of our...

Cos, stop picking on Dr. Hewitt.

"Picking on..."

He damn near picked on me!

Cos has to be leaving.

You can stay for a few minutes can't you, Dr. Hewitt?

Yes, of course.

I'll walk you to the path.

Well good night, Reverend.

Good night, son.

Hey you were very rude.

You sounded like some little village atheist.

Yeah?

Well that's what I am. A village atheist.

Are you going to seduce him?

Maybe. I don't know.

It would serve him right if I did.

No, Cos, I won't seduce him.

Are you sure?

Positive.

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of blaming me afterwards

or you either.

Good night.

'Night.

Well?

They're... They're reverent.

Oh you're joking.

Does the word offend you?

They have the kind of reverence without which religion would mean nothing.

I wouldn't know.

Can I get you some tea?

- Would you like some grappa? - Grappa, if you please.

OK

I talked with a friend of yours this afternoon

Mr. Ward Hendricks.

He isn't exactly a friend anymore.

He gave me the impression he knew you rather well.

In the biblical sense, he did.

That is, he had carnal knowledge of me.

Does that answer your question?

I didn't ask one.

I met him in San Francisco.

Danny was just a baby. I was broke.

He set me up in an apartment. He put me through two years of art school.

When I was finished with school, I was finished with him.

Did you know such things went on in the world?

He told me something of your background.

I'll bet he did.

And where did this cozy conversation take place?

In a pool hall or a locker room?

Why, in a locker room, as a matter of fact.

That's where the boys really let down their hair and pride, isn't it?

Yes, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I apologize.

I didn't mean to...

Pry into my sex life?

Of course you did.

You've been dying to pry into it.

Now that you've seen me modeling for Cos Erickson

you are dying to know about him too.

I am not so much interested in the men in your life

as your attitude towards marriage.

OK

Ask it and it shall be answered unto you.

Well I understand that Danny's father was quite prepared to marry you?

That's right

but I didn't love him.

- But you must have at one time. - Oh that...

I was only in love with him or thought I was.

There's a difference between being in love and loving and liking.

Besides

I didn't want to wake up 50 years old some morning

and peer across the pillow with his face peering back.

- How did your parents react? - Very well.

They offered me an abortion

and when I wouldn't do it they said I could stay at home

and have Danny there.

Why didn't you?

Look. They were trying to be sweet but they were ashamed.

By offering the abortion they showed me how they really felt.

A child can't just be accepted. It has to really be wanted

so I went away and had Danny by myself.

I still don't know much about your attitude towards marriage.

I'm withholding judgment until I see a happy one.

How is yours?

Adequate, as they say?

No, it's more than adequate. It's good.

Well bully for you.

Cover this up.

Has your marriage, as my non-marriage

been blessed with children?

Yes, twin boys. They're both in prep school.

Learning to adjust?

...or were they adjusted before they left?

I'd better go before I start answering you in kind.

I won't bother you any more.

From now on, you'll get written reports about Danny's progress.

Dr. Hewitt

don't be so pompous.

- Do you allow visitors? - Yes

Next time I'll come and visit you.

All right.

- Good night. - Good night.

What I'm actually looking for in this new chapel

is a sense of modesty, a sense of purity that has no relation to size.

Do you know the Church of Santa Maria della Pace in Rome?

Yeah.

- Well that illustrates what I'm after. - I see.

- Not in actual design, but in... - Excuse me.

Good morning.

Good morning.

It is very good to see you here.

I want to show you something.

This is the fourth form American literature class.

It corresponds to the eighth grade.

We allowed him to select the class he felt he could do best in

and this is the result.

We've been spotted.

So, you see, his first clash with the Christians

isn't the calamity you expected.

I can see. I'm very grateful.

Incidentally, I was... Oh please.

I was talking to our architect about you.

That is to say, I was talking about you and our new chapel.

The one we're going to build.

It calls for two stained-glass windows and it occurred to me

we might try for something indigenous to this particular area.

I mean, the mountains, the sea

whatever it is that makes this part of the world unique.

That would seem to call for a local artist and I was...

I was thinking of you.

Well but I am an atheist.

How could I design something that glorifies a creed I don't believe in?

Do you think Orozco believed in Christianity?

Or Rivera, or Portinari, or Chagall?

Some of their best work is found in churches.

It's not at all rare to find

the religious vision more purely apprehended

by the non-believer than by the saint.

Why do you say that?

Well saints tend to be myopic

whereas the atheist is almost always innocent

and innocence is what we want in this chapel.

Couldn't you sell some just for grocery money?

Believe me, honey. You've got what it takes

but you're not ready yet.

- The price doesn't matter. It doesn't... - I don't want cheap pictures.

I want expensive ones

to match the rent those burglars charge me.

Ellie, you're the biggest fraud in Monterey County.

Phil Sutcliff told me how much you paid for this place and it's a scandal.

This one.

I'll...

Since you won't handle her work I'll deal with the artist directly.

How much?

Cool, baby. Play it cool.

- A hundred. - And sold.

Ellie, would you have this framed for me?

Thank you.

You're serious, aren't you?

I was also serious about the chapel windows. Were you?

Sure she was.

Look, baby. With a parson and a preacher for a patron

you've got it made.

Just think of all those Renaissance cats.

Well?

Well yes. I've made some sketches.

You know, just to try and find an approach.

- When can I see them? - Well tonight on your way home.

Maybe you could stop for dinner.

- You're free, aren't you? - No no no.

- Tonight's my night for the drive-in. - Can you?

Well I'd like to, but I...

I've got a lot of appointments. I don't know when they'd be through.

Well it's up to you.

Any time after 8:00, if you can.

Well I'll try. Thank you. Goodbye.

- You don't like them. - On the contrary, I like them very much:

all the charm and wonder of a child's vision of creation

but there's one thing missing.

- God? - No, man.

- I left him out. - Why?

Well I...

I wanted the world to be innocent and it can't be with man in it.

You see, this is the universe before man came along.

It won't do. Man is essential to any concept of the universe.

Without him the universe would be here but it wouldn't be conceived.

That is the miracle of man

that he can imagine the awe and terror of an infinite universe

and still not be frightened by it

but facing the mystery of time and the implacability of death

he can still laugh, work, create

and love.

Well good for him.

Then he'll have to be in somebody else's sketches.

Tell me.

Do you isolate yourself here to eliminate man from your life

as thoroughly as you've eliminated man from your sketches?

That could be true.

I suppose in a way it is.

- Why? - You know

men have been staring at me

and rubbing up against me ever since I was 12 years old.

They've always been, sort of

waiting for me to stumble, so that they can close in.

Sometimes I get the suffocating feeling that they will.

And I...

I see myself

perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next year

being handed from man to man

as if I were an amusement

for men who only

have had me and never really loved me.

So I came here, and you don't believe a word I've said.

On the contrary, I do.

However, instead of eliminating man from your life totally

why don't you solve the problem by finding a man

a kind of man who would really love you?

I don't think it's possible

for a man to really love a woman like me.

He only just has her, I think.

How much is this crazy chapel going to cost?

About $100,000.

For just a place to pray?

Well a place to pray is not as trivial as you think.

But you can pray anywhere.

If man is so important, why...

why don't you spend the money on him?

How many poor children could you educate for

$100,000?

Don't do that.

Destroying your work like that is like... It's a kind of suicide.

No, it's a kind of discipline.

I've always been too eager for recognition

for praise... for the praise's sake alone.

Why else would I have designed sketches

for a building I have no feeling for and I don't believe in?

I wanted your praise.

You think I praised your work to make you like me?

I suppose not

but that's what you accomplished.

- Does your wife know you're here? - No

Why didn't you tell her?

I often make appointments without having to call up my wife.

Of course.

Do you like it?

Yes, I like it. I don't like him.

- Cos is all right. - If you say so.

- I'd better be going. - Why?

I can talk while I work.

I want you, Laura. I want you.

Oh God

Grant me some small remembrance of honor.

Give me strength.

Give me

emptiness.

Come in.

Who told you I live here?

Hey. Ed Hewitt.

Oh yeah. The locker room session.

You were swapping stories about me, right?

Yes, well it seems as though I swapped considerably more than I got.

He never even hinted you were seeing each other.

- We're not. - I dropped by to see you last night.

Ed's car was parked up by the mailbox.

So I drove on to Nepenthe instead.

He dropped by to report on Danny's schoolwork.

It must have been a hell of a report.

I drove back about 1:00 in the morning. The car was still there.

- What do you want, Ward? - Well I want to help you.

You're too level-headed a girl to start kidding yourself now.

Ed's married. He's got a wife, two teenage boys...

He's not going to leave her for you or anybody else.

There's no future for you there, baby, no future at all.

- As there was with you? - Well you thought there was a future.

You said you wanted to be an artist, so I went with the art school bit

just as long as you did.

- You got what you wanted, didn't you? - And you didn't?

Well of course I did.

Well.

I apologize, Ward. I sounded pretty phoney there for a minute.

You did give me what I needed and you never beat me or cheated me.

Won't you sit down? Would you like some coffee?

No, not now. Not yet.

- Selling lots of cars? - Oh God, yes.

I'm rich.

I was never poor. Now I'm rich.

- Who did this? - A friend.

Yeah?

- How's your family? - Peggy and I are divorced.

We...

We get our final in three months.

What happened?

Well if you see a pair of nubbins, I earned them.

You mean, this time it wasn't you?

- It was... - That's right. Peggy.

I caught her cold too:

another man.

Caught?

- You mean, detectives? - Yeah, a little bit.

I even got custody of the kids.

Aside from that, I'm free as the wind.

How does it feel?

Lonely.

You know, it's been lonely ever since you left.

Look, Laura baby. If there's anything at all like the old spark between us

I'd marry you this time. Honest I would.

Don't be silly, Ward.

I don't want to go to bed with you.

I certainly wouldn't marry you.

You would play house with me but you wouldn't get married?

That's right.

That's exactly right.

Why not?

Because you're a creep, Ward.

I can't help it, but you're a creep.

You're a terrible creep.

Running around with the reverend the way you are

you are in no position to throw stones at me.

What do you mean?

I mean that if I wanted you right now

there is nothing that you could say or do about it.

- All right. All right. - You do it, and I'll kill you!

Whatever you say, baby.

Just remember, when the chickens come home to roost, I'll...

I'll be there, baby.

Just give me a ring, huh?

But I mailed them two weeks ago. Why hasn't she signed them?

My fault, Fred. I've been so busy out here that I kept postponing it.

Well don't postpone it any longer.

My first order expired a week ago.

Legally, that boy is in limbo. That's a hell of a place for a 9-year-old.

Get those papers signed and goodbye.

Goodbye.

In a lesser sense, the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness

is the common experience of all mankind.

In the text itself St. Matthew makes the matter very clear.

Quote:

Then was Jesus led up of the spirit into the wilderness

to be tempted...

I deserve a medal.

I spent two hours straight with Mrs. LeMoyne Richards

and all I got for the building fund was $100.

- That's good. - What did Judge Thompson want?

Oh he sent me some legal papers he wants Miss Reynolds to sign.

I have to drive over there this evening. Care to come along?

All I want after Mrs. Richards is a hot bath and an early bed.

Besides, I owe the boys a letter.

So do I.

- Don't you like it? - Yes

I'm glad you could find a way to help her out.

I bought it because I think it's good.

You'd better come in to lunch now.

I've been waiting half the night for this.

All right. Just bring another bottle.

Thanks.

That ought to cheer you up a little bit.

I know.

Here comes your preacher friend.

- Hello. - Could I speak to you for a moment?

Everybody, this is Dr. Hewitt.

Doctor, welcome to the Club Nepenthe. Sit down. Join us.

- Well I'm... - Oh please sit down.

You know, we were just talking about the word "nepenthe."

Howard here says it means the same as "nirvana."

But Cos says it means the banishment of all pain and sorrow.

I don't really know. I'm not an authority

but I think that probably "oblivion" is a better translation.

The Greeks, I think, thought of nepenthe

as a state of mind induced by drugs

probably hashish.

Oh say there, Reverend

I've got a friend

and he claims he gets a mystical kick from H.

- H? - Yeah, H.

So, what do you say, Reverend?

Do you think you can find God at the end of a hypodermic needle?

Cos, cut it out.

Oh well, I served in the Medical Corps during the war

and I can't tell you how many dying and wounded men

found something of God's mercy

at the end of just such a needle as you described.

Cos, you've just been dropped.

I have some papers that Judge Thompson wants you to sign.

What kind of papers?

They're related to Danny's custody.

Hey what do you say about that, Reverend?

Cut it out, Cos.

They've got a point there. But it's all right, OK, Reverend? I'm sorry.

These papers about Danny.

What are they supposed to be?

Well I think you'd better read them over first

and anything you don't understand, I'll try to explain.

Reverend?

You can't explain anything here. Let's get out.

Hey what's the matter? Wait a minute.

Did I say something wrong? What's going on?

What is going on is business:

mine.

Now wait a minute. I'd like the Reverend to straighten us out on angels.

- What? - Come on, let's dance.

Angels, you know.

Cool it, this sounds interesting.

OK?

All right. Yeah.

This is a problem of sex.

Catherine says that angels are neuter; you know, kind of, like mules.

Overton says that she read someplace that angels are just like people.

You know, the boy angels and the girl angels, and all that kind of thing.

So?

Well that's it, man, you know. What's the answer?

I think you'll probably find the answer in Proverbs.

It's Chapter 16, verse 22.

Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it

but the instruction

of fools is folly.

Cos, you go stand in the corner.

According to this, you're Danny's guardian.

I can't take him out of San Simeon no matter what happens?

Not this term you can't.

Then I won't sign it.

It still has to be proved to me that San Simeon is the best solution.

I agree.

However, I'll talk to Judge Thompson about it.

Then it wasn't really that urgent?

You didn't need the signature tonight.

It could have waited.

It was urgent to me.

I cannot dispel you from my thoughts.

One minute, you were asleep.

The next minute, I woke up and you were gone.

I didn't want to wake you.

Oh how awful, you have to get out of bed and drive home

I mean, in the fog and the dark all the time.

Your tie is crooked.

I can hear your heart.

Do you hear mine?

Am I as good for you as you are for me?

I must leave.

- Forgive me, I must go. - Why?

Don't ask me such a question. You know why. You must know.

I don't know.

You just did what you've been wanting to do ever since you first saw me.

If it's so bloody tragic

why didn't you hurt then instead of now?

I have no defense.

- I have no sympathy. - Sympathy?

Yes, sympathy.

I'm a minister of the Christian faith.

If you feel that that's meant anything to me, anything to me at all

what would you expect me to feel like at this minute?

That depends on how you expected to feel about me

whether you wanted me as a woman or just a whore.

My God, I...

...because if you wanted me as a woman you would feel as I do now:

at peace with myself

clean and content

without any sense of guilt.

You're blameless and without guilt. You're good.

You're a glowing woman.

I don't approve of many of your beliefs

but at least you are true to them and to yourself.

I'm just a hypocrite.

Please don't feel so bad.

Don't go like this.

Look, let me make some coffee and we'll sit and talk.

I must go.

Don't you realize what happened between us is good?

Can't you see that?

Edward?

Edward, are you there?

Are you still awake?

I hope I didn't worry you.

I had visions of you going over a cliff in all that fog.

What happened?

I pulled the car to the side and waited for it to lift.

It didn't, and I fell asleep.

Miserable

- Were you praying when I came in? - No

I don't know... I was thinking.

Thinking is almost always a kind of prayer.

I'm so glad you're safe.

I do love you, Edward.

Damn

I tried to pray, you know, but I couldn't

because I knew that whatever I should've thought about it

inevitably I would've been praying not to forget you

but to possess you.

And that you felt you could arrange without heavenly interference?

A do-it-yourself kind of a proposition?

Exactly.

You see, I've lost all of my sense of sin.

It's about the nicest thing a person could lose.

Also, I have become one of the world's most accomplished liars.

You have lots of competition.

Do you know what I told my wife?

I said I was going to San Francisco for three days on a fundraising drive.

I have no intention of going to San Francisco.

That is, unless you kick me out.

I won't kick you out. I'd be afraid to.

You might get a court order from Judge Thompson.

What would it be? A writ for search and seizure?

No. A writ of habeas corpus demanding delivery of the body.

- And I'd have to? - Of course.

I'd see you in hell first.

Sooner or later, you will anyway.

You know, he's becoming a nuisance.

You know, you were quite right to let him fly free.

How did you know about that?

Life always flies back to life if it isn't penned up.

You know, I've been keeping him on the porch during the daytime

so that he can see the ocean and see the birds

so he can know what he's supposed to be.

And when he does, he'll leave you.

And so will you, my love.

I think he's ready to try the outside.

He's had enough porch time to find his way back

if he gets frightened or lonely.

Wait a second.

Come on, little sandpiper.

Don't be afraid, baby.

You can fly through it.

He's making his own prison.

Look.

I think they're watching us.

And they don't like us.

We're intruders. Nobody ever comes here.

And they prefer it that way.

The only way you can get in is through that inlet.

I feel as alone as Robinson Crusoe

even with the footprints of a man beside me.

You should always have a man's footprints beside you, Laura.

How do you know I haven't always?

Because you're afraid of them.

- Want some more wine? - No, thanks.

But I'm not as afraid as you think.

Do you think that one of these days

Danny's going to feel somehow that you robbed him of a father?

Well that's a chance I'm going to have to take.

Do you know something?

If I were a devoted widow

and Danny's father were a dead war hero

would you be pitching me this bit about

finding a second father to replace the dead one?

Touché.

Bonne santé. Continue the pitch.

It's no pitch. I just want to find out what you want from life. That's all.

Oh aside from raising Danny

most of all I want to know myself to be myself.

I won't have a chance to do that

if I spend my life playing the matrimony game

which was rigged before I was even born.

Rigged?

Of course it's rigged. It always has been.

The first 20 years of a girl's life

she gets so used to going to the same schools as the boys

taking the same classes

living in the same world with him

that she can't get it through that square little head of hers

that she isn't his absolute equal

which, of course, she is.

Just wait until they get married and then see what happens.

The man enters into a professional life.

The woman becomes an unpaid domestic servant.

So there goes your equality.

What good does all that education do except make her unhappy?

Well perhaps it's something to fall back on when her beauty fades

and her husband turns to a younger woman.

I wasn't talking about you

or any individual man.

- I was talking about men as a group. - I know

but most women who become homemakers

are not necessarily miserable.

I didn't say miserable.

I say they're unfulfilled.

Look, a man is always a husband and a father

and something else, like a doctor.

A woman is a wife and a mother and what else?

A nothing.

The nothing is the thing that kills her

and you don't care.

You want her to stay just the way she is:

fertile and unfulfilled, then in her place.

Who wants this?

Oh creatures like you, judges like Thompson

all the doctors, the President

the whole male establishment, every last one of you.

You make it sound like one enormous conspiracy.

Well of course it is.

Ever since Adam stool-pigeoned on Eve.

Oh damn!

- Don't do that. - Well you made me spoil it.

Sometimes you're no judge of what's no good.

What is it?

- Now let me see. - It's you.

Adam, after he stool-pigeoned...

Where's Eve?

Standing behind the tree looking morally superior.

But smugness, like pride

goeth before destruction

and a haughty spirit

before a fall.

Is this something close to married love?

Well I...

Did you expect there would be a great difference?

Well yes, wouldn't you?

I don't...

I don't really know. Why do you ask?

Well because I've never known anything

like this particular feeling that I feel with you

never before

never at all.

I've, of course, wondered about it.

Is it like married love?

It's, well... It's difficult to...

I'm not prying. I don't want to know any secrets.

It's just... well the way we touch each other

the way you feel to me

and I to you, I suppose

the pleasure that comes whenever I think of you:

Does this happen to married people?

Yes

Oh God, I envy her.

I hate her.

I hate her and I envy he and I want to be her.

Please, Laura.

It's such a terrible trap.

I do want to be her

except now.

Right now, I only want to be me

only me in the whole world

only me.

You almost scared me to death and I called the St. Francis

and the clerk said that you weren't there and you hadn't even made a reservation.

The clerk was wrong. I had made a reservation.

Then Phil Sutcliff fixed me up at the Union League Club.

I canceled the hotel. I meant to let you know

but the whole thing completely slipped my mind.

Well everything worked out anyway.

I ran into Ward Hendricks in Carmel the next day.

I asked about you.

He said he had seen you in San Francisco and you were just fine.

Ward Hendricks said...

Oh he's back in Carmel already?

- Did the pledges go well? - The what?

San Francisco, the chapel?

Oh the pledges. Yes yes quite well.

Claire, I've been thinking that I might abandon the idea of a chapel altogether.

With all the pledges you've got?

and the trustees meeting set at Del Monte?

- Yes - Well why, Edward?

I mean, if there's some problem about the chapel I don't know of

maybe I can help you.

I can't right now, Claire.

I'm not quite sure of the problem myself.

Actually, I'm quite tired. Do you mind if I go to bed?

I'll come with you.

That's very good. Do you think it'll hold up in a tax court?

With two certified appraisals? The lowest one's got to stand up.

Even that's a fat $22,000 tax deduction for paintings that cost me under $5,000.

So what's the problem?

Well I'm trying to give the damn things to Ed Hewitt's Chapel Fund

- and he won't take them. - Why not?

I think he objects to the tax angle

says he won't let his Chapel Fund take two or three grand from me

so that I can take 22 from the government.

Well if the government says it's OK what the hell is he worried about?

Well that's why I thought maybe you could talk to him, Ward

you know, make him see the light.

I'll be glad to. I might want the same deal myself sometime.

Well in that case why don't you talk to him right now?

What?

Well he's sitting right over there.

- Where? - Over by the window.

Well look who's here.

My two favorite saints.

Hello, Ward.

- Spending the weekend in Monterey? - The afternoon.

Oh

I'm down for Ed's trustee meeting in Del Monte.

It should break before dinnertime.

Maybe if you're still around, we can do the town.

I won't be.

Some other time.

There is something I'd like to talk to you about.

Maybe we could get together before the trustees start conning each other.

I'm tied up for this afternoon.

What do you say, around 4:30 or 5:00? It's important.

Besides, I think you owe me a favor.

I'm not aware of any favors given or owed, Ward.

However, I'll meet you at 5:00. Will the lodge be all right?

Fine.

Cheers. See you later.

It seems to me, you've got a lot of explaining to do, old boy.

That figure for the chapel is 50% higher

- than the figure you gave us last year. - Exactly.

We can presume therefore that the present figure is merely a prelude

to further fiscal miscalculations

and continued embarrassment to the headmaster.

I've come to the conclusion

that so vast a sum would be misspent on a chapel anyhow.

What I'm asking is that the Chapel Building Fund

be used as the nucleus for an expanding free scholarship fund

for the education of gifted but underprivileged boys.

Having stated the matter that simply I will spare you any further oratory

and throw the matter open for general discussion.

What does that mean to him anyway?

It looks to me as, once you lower social standards

academic standards have got to follow:

Gresham's law applied to education.

We're not going to accept these boys simply because they're poor.

We accept them because they're bright and just happen to be poor.

Either we break down the exclusiveness we've been practicing

or risk crippling the minds of our children

with class and racial concepts

that have no place in modern life, much less in Christian dogma.

Hear, hear!

That's all very well but I think you're missing the point.

Our donors didn't give their money for scholarships. They gave it

because they wanted a more beautiful place of worship for their children.

I think our present chapel is quite beautiful enough

to sustain the quality of prayer that rises from it.

Tell that to our donors and they'll demand their money back.

I'm aware of that. Our task will be to persuade them otherwise.

Our task?

You speak for yourself. I don't raise money under false pretenses.

You talk of false pretenses

after the tax avoidance scheme you tried to put over on me less than an hour ago?

Tax avoidance? He turned down a perfectly legal gift

that would've netted the Building Fund $3,000 or $4,000 minimum.

You've always accepted those gifts in the past.

Now do you dare deny that?

No. I affirm it

and I'm ashamed of it.

I've got to put a stop to this.

From now on San Simeon will only accept those gifts

that come at least within shooting distance of your fancy appraisals.

Why don't you stop? What the hell has gotten into you anyway?

- You've never talked like this before. - Listen, Ward, your ideas...

My ideas may not be perfect, but they are my ideas.

Where do you get yours from? Laura Reynolds?

I don't understand it. I don't expect you to.

I don't understand it myself.

We made love.

Even in motels, God help me.

Stop the car.

Why?

I'm sick.

- Claire. - Leave me alone!

Why?

- Claire, can I... - Leave me alone!

- Claire! - No!

- Claire, please... - You leave me alone. I want to walk.

- Claire. - Don't talk to me. I have to be alone.

- Claire! - Go to her!

It's she you must talk to now, not me. You must leave me alone!

Hey Laura!

Hey Laura!

I've great news for you. We're so proud of you.

Ellie McIver bought two of your paintings today

at $300 a piece

by the permission of God

plus 25 bucks for food and drinks!

Not only that. The Edward Gallery in San Francisco wants to give you a show.

- I don't believe it. - Well will you believe this loot?

Well Laura, this is your night.

If you hadn't given me that buildup with McIver, this never would have happened.

Come on. This is the baby you're talking to, honey.

Don't try giving me that.

It was the preacher.

When are you going to conclude that scene?

I don't know.

You're in dangerous orbit.

Maybe more for him than for you.

Oh I know.

I keep trying to find a way to...

I keep thinking, just one more month

one more week

just one more day.

What's so special about this preacher?

Something I never knew really existed.

All right. Come on, come on. Let's get it out.

Tenderness.

I never knew a man could be so strong

yet so tender.

That's even worse.

Stop messing around, baby. It can't go anywhere but wrong.

You're wrong

because I love him.

I never knew what love was before.

Now I know what I want in a man

even in a marriage

and I will find it someday.

- Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. - Again.

Do you know the trouble with me and hard liquor?

I get it so seldom that I forget how to handle it.

Poor Cos.

Yeah, poor old Cos.

Caught drunk right in the middle of a losing streak

lost his youth

lost his girl

- lost his... - sense of humor.

Does that make it any better?

What are you doing here? Do you want everybody to know?

We've got to talk.

Come on.

Fill me in on something.

Did you ever hear of an honest preacher?

Just don't lose your cool, man. Don't lose your cool.

No, I'm asking you straight.

Did you ever hear of an honest preacher?

You leave them alone, Cos.

You mean you told her about me?

Yes

That we've made love?

Yes

How could you?

How could you bring yourself to tell anyone about me?

It's too private.

It's too private to tell.

I felt she had to know.

Isn't the relationship between a man and a woman in love

as privileged as between a lawyer and a client?

...a doctor and a patient?

...a priest and a confessant?

Isn't it just as holy?

Laura, it is holy. I swear to you it is.

Not with you.

Not when it's with me.

- Laura. - Don't touch me!

Go away.

Go back to your wife.

- Laura. - No no.

Leave me alone.

- You heard what she said. Leave her alone. - Get out of my way.

I have known hypocritical clerics in my time

- but you lead the parade. - Cos!

Edward, stop it.

Sniffing around here like a hound dog.

Edward.

There's no need for that, preacher. Why don't you go back

- to corrupting little boys? - Edward.

Stop it. You'll kill him.

Stop it. Stop it, Edward.

Edward. Edward!

Oh God!

He's all right.

I just tapped him. He'll come to in a moment.

What's going on here, Cos? What's wrong?

- There's nothing wrong. - Are you all right?

Edward, Edward

I wanted to kill him.

I wanted to kill him.

Edward

Ask him to forgive me.

Edward

- Good morning. - Good morning.

You've slept four nights in the library now.

Where would you have me sleep?

Separately, of course. I made no complaint. I...

I really think it's time we talked.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

You bear no responsibility for what's happened

and neither does Laura Reynolds.

It was my betrayal of myself that injured you both

self-betrayal that began years ago almost without my knowledge.

Have you any conception of how corrupt I've become?

In what way?

By acquiescing in a thousand little schemes that pertain

to charity and end up as profit

by overlooking a boy's grades

for a bribe called "contribution"

by putting desire above duty

and ambition above dignity.

Why all this self-contempt?

Unhappily, I'm no longer a man of religion, Claire.

I've become a fundraiser

a sloganeer

a keeper of the treasury.

I'm not even an educator anymore. I've...

I've become a business executive who doesn't have the time

even to make the acquaintance of his own students

but those tasks make the difference between a fine school

and a mediocre one.

You've performed them well, apparently willingly.

They're simply not the tasks I chose for myself 20 years ago.

...that we chose.

Do you remember?

I never forgot.

We were God's sweet fools.

We were going to minister to the poor

live in perfect trust, one with the other

to trace in our lives

the gentle footsteps of Francis of Assisi.

We were going to call it...

It seems so long ago.

We were going to call it, of all things, "The Ministry of Love."

And she carried you back

to all those young, hot hopes

all those brave, old dreams.

I'm just beginning to understand

just beginning to grasp it.

But do you think I like what I've become

with the boys grown and raised and not needing me anymore?

and me filling these unwanted years

with petty tasks and busy little trivialities?

What would you do if you left this school?

Churches everywhere are calling for ministers who won't come.

The neighborhood is bad or the pay is too low

or the congregation is the wrong color.

And if you stayed here, then what?

It's up to the trustees.

I don't think they'll want me after my blowup with Hendricks.

I'm not talking about the trustees. I'm talking about this girl.

You were in love with her. Are you still in love with her?

Yes

I'm afraid so. Yes, I am

in a way I can't hope to explain.

I can't expect you to understand

and I want your understanding above anything else

because I must invite your contempt

by insisting that I love you too.

It's not possible.

Six months ago I wouldn't have thought so either.

It's true.

I promise I won't go back to her again.

It's an answer of sorts.

Enough to see me through the week.

Oh look. Is that him?

See how one wing hangs just a little lower than the other?

Do you think he knows you?

Probably. He cocks an eye at us every now and then.

He likes us.

Then why did he leave?

He was healed. He didn't need us anymore.

Listen, Danny. I have a surprise for you. About school, I mean.

About school?

My paintings are beginning to sell. Not always, just once in a while. But...

Well I can always get a job to fill in

which means, we can afford to move away from here

if you'd like to.

But where would we move to?

Oh San Francisco probably, or Monterey.

I'd get an apartment and you can go to public school

instead of San Simeon. We could live together again.

I just get used to something and you want to start doing something else.

You mean, you... you want to go back to San Simeon?

Well sure. I've got friends there.

You don't get homesick anymore? I mean, you...

You don't mind living without me?

Why should I? You can't live with your mother all your life.

Of course not.

We all want to fly free, don't we?

OK. That's settled.

You'll go back to San Simeon and I'll stay here.

The two of us will... We can see each other on weekends.

Well if I'm going back next term

then you've just got to come to Charter Sunday.

What's so important about Charter Sunday?

Well it's the end of the term and all the kids come

and their folks too.

Well it's a special thing.

In the chapel, I suppose, with a sermon?

Yeah, but that's not so bad. Honest.

The other guys, their parents are coming.

They'll think I'm some kind of an orphan.

OK, Danny. I'll come.

You will? Man, will that be cool!

I mean, when you walk in and all the guys see how pretty you are...

Such improvement calls for a new program

and new programs are best instituted under new leadership.

In announcing to you my resignation as headmaster of San Simeon

I'm filled with sadness to contemplate the end of a long

and significant period of my life

yet a sadness commingled with joy

as I look forward to the beginning of a new life

which I hope, as indeed do not we all

may be more meaningful to myself and to others

than the old, which today approaches its end.

Thinking back, I discover that I've learned immensely more at San Simeon

than I have taught:

humility and pride, innocence and aspiration

perseverance and faith

and reverence

reverence for life, no matter what form it takes

reverence also for the needs of each individual

and his right to move as swiftly along the path of enlightenment

as his ability permits.

I've learned not only from students but from their parents also.

I've had the privilege of warming myself

before the hearth of a generation younger than my own

holding ideas newer than my own

and different

and perhaps to some of us still strange.

I've learned that total adjustment to society

is quite as bad as total maladjustment

that principled disobedience of unjust law is more Christian

more truly law-abiding than unprincipled respect

that only freedom can tame the wild, rebellious

palpitating heart of man

encagement, never

that life, unfettered, moves towards life

and love to love

that in the full blaze of God's cleansing sunlight

men and women are purely innocent

and therefore, most purely

beautiful.

There is another for whom feelings flow too deep for gratitude

too wide for the heart's long explanation

too swiftly, perhaps, even for forgiveness

who led to the dreaming of brave dreams

who held eternally high the chalice of youth and its hot, young hopes

gave living proof that thinking and therefore being

is but a form of prayer.

What does one say when confronted with such bounties?

One thanks God and remembers.

So it is, that I thank him now for all of you.

I thank him, and in whatever place to which his hand may lead us

I will remember

I will remember always.

Amen.

Please Mother, I've got to get them.

My dorm's right over there. It'll only take a minute.

All right, Danny, but please hurry.

- I want to get out of here. - OK

- Did you make these specially for me? - Of course, Mr. Hendricks. Just for you.

Oh heavens! I never touch the stuff.

Well Edward, you really pulled the rug out from under me.

If I had known you were leaving, I'd have never gone for the scholarship fund.

Well clergy have always been noted for their guile.

Well what are we supposed to do?

I mean, he's irreplaceable.

Not at all. My successor is at this moment on the campus.

He's mighty young.

And so was I.

Excuse me.

- When are you leaving? - In a few days.

I may drive down the coast.

Perhaps to Baja California.

Probably alone.

My wife hasn't any definite plans.

And after the trip?

I don't know. I have no plans, really.

And you?

I'll stay here.

Danny wants to go to San Simeon next term.

I don't know about the financial situation.

It's all arranged. His scholarship too

everything.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

I'll write you from La Paz.

- And write the boys too. - Yes of course.

Well perhaps in September...

I can't promise by September.

I've got to think my way back through

almost 21 years.

I really don't know, Edward. We'll just have to wait and see.

Yes

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, Edward.

- Five-to-one, you get the appointment. - Thanks to you.

No, thanks to Judge Thompson. He'll be in your corner.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

God bless

and Godspeed.