Original subtitles

Please hang up. There appears to be a receiver off the hook.

Please check your main telephone and extension then try your call again. Thank you.

This is a recording.

Okay, I don’t think I can lie here much longer,

this is really killing me.

Guess I should see what it looks like.

It sure feels like shit.

How do they do it in the magazines?

I have to find another way.

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half,

how long will it take a monkey with a wooden leg

to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

What is that from?

I’m not a cactus, I need a lot of watering.

No more alfalfa sprouts.

It was just one of those things …

So goodbye dear and amen,

here’s hoping we meet now and then,

it was great fun, but it was just one of those things.

Okay, try to look in the mirror without messing things up.

You know what it is, it’s this bed.

It’s this bed, this is ridiculous.

Now who in the hell wants to be found dead in a Castro Convertible?

There's just something so tacky looking about it,

I don’t care how many tops you put on, it’s just not chic.

Are you sure about this roof thing?

What choice do I have?

The most lethal thing I have in the house is an herbal laxative.

Nothing says lovin’ like something from the oven…

This is going to look like I’m going to a funeral.

No, that’s a bad colour.

Oh, it’s all ripped up. Shit.

Well good luck getting into this one, my dear…

Nope, you can forget that.

What’s that smell?

Hmm, it’s not my armpits.

Honest to God, what are they cooking downstairs now?

Maybe it’s my imagination…

Oh, no, my pants! Oh, God. Oh no!

Oh shit!

Honest to God, you could really drive a person nuts.

No, that looks ridiculous. That really looks… Oof.

Thank you.

Last read book, “Fasting as a Way of Life”.

Oh, that looks really nice.

Dear God, I’m really sorry.

It’s not your fault, but I feel like my life is a joke without a punchline.

I just can’t keep up.

And please forgive me.

Maybe there will be other incarnations,

but if you don’t mind, please don’t bring my name up for quite a while.

And thanks for everything. Amen.

Put your dreams away

for another day…

Bye house!

Well, here we are, up on the roof.

So what do you want, front end or back end?

Keep it up.

Do you think it’s going to hurt a lot?

Not if you keep your sunny side up, up.

You know, you really are sick.

I’m getting nervous…

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