Original subtitles

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* Papparrazi taking pictures you know who we are

* Shifting gears when we be riding in the finest cars

* Blazin' through the atmosphere like a shooting star

* We be causing panic like natural phenomena

* Feeling like I'm walking on the moon

* The love you give is so phenomenal

* Take me to the stars

* Venus, Earth, and Mars

* You make me feel so supernatural

* You're blowing my mind like a tornado

* You light up my fires like an asteroid

* When you're loving me it's so supernatural

* Making people happy with the music is my job

* Every time we hit this stage my fans go, "oh my God"

* All the ladies going crazy we be getting mobbed

* So much love is coming at us like a big tsunami

* Got me feeling like I'm walking on the moon

* The love you give is so phenomenal

* Take me to the stars

* Venus, Earth and Mars

* You make me feel so supernatural

* You'reblowing my mind like a tornado

* You light up my fires like an asteroid

* When you're loving me it's so supernatural

* You make me feel so supernatural

* You'reblowing my mind like a tornado

* You light up my fires like an asteroid

* Whenyou're loving me it's so supernatural

My main man Corey.

What's up, what's up.

What's going on, man?

Nothing much how was your weekend?

Well, you know me, man, I had a few hoes over.

Nice.

What about yourself.

Well, you know me, church.

Okay, okay.

Hey man, brother, who's in my office.

Some intern.

Intern?

Yeah.

Okay listen, next time you're in church,

send one up for you man, alright boy.

Will do.

Hey did I disturb, you guys?

Oh, not at all.

Come on in, sharp.

Terry, I'd like to introduce you to--

The CEO of Sauce Records.

That's Bronson.

Very nice to meet you.

You have very soft hands.

Thank you.

Char, who is this?

This is that intern I was telling you about, remember?

So what are you one of those crump dancers?

I mean your swagger, we gotta lighten it up.

I mean that's if you're gonna be working here

at Sauce Records.

Don't worry I got this.

We're just a little busy, so we'll get going,

but you'll have your chance to talk to her.

And so, we'll be going.

Come on, Terry.

By the way,

that's a cute little mustache you got there.

Don't listen to him.

Shave it off.

Come on, girl.

Would you like your door closed?

* Pancho, Pancho, Pancho, burritos and nachos

Boy, why are you always late?

I got lunch.

Lunch.

I know you're hungry, yeah.

There you go, calm down.

Who is Miss Frumpy?

Be nice.

This is our new intern Terry.

New intern good.

From now on, she can get the lunch.

What's up with the mustache?

Yo, B.

Holla at your boy.

His name is Trouble, go figure.

What you call a green fly in your burrito?

I don't know what?

Extra meat.

Trouble why you always late coming to work?

This is the earliest I've ever been late.

Come on.

You're right, you know what?

You actually never come to work until after lunch.

Man, you have never been on time.

I mean don't think just cause you're my boy

I won't fire your ass.

Alright, I'll take your Tommy Davison looking ass

back McDonalds where I found you.

Okay, to be honest, why I was late,

alright, I didn't want to tell you,

but if you must know, there was an earthquake

in a third world country and be it so

that the earthquake trembled and it caused

the Earth to spin off it axis which caused the time

to shift and because of the time shift

my alarm clock didn't go off in time.

Look, from now on, I want you to put

a valuable effort to get here on time, okay?

Yes, sir.

I'm not playin', Trouble.

You think I won't fire you right now?

Yes, sir.

Leave.

You for real?

For real.

Man, you funny, dog, I'm gonna get back to work.

Come on, baby, taking too long.

That's why I don't eat at Poncho's, come on.

That's it, I gotta get something.

Okay.

It's okay.

I'm a pimp.

I'm a player.

I'm alright.

My ass hurt!

Damn, she kinda cute.

Mr. Williams hi, I'm Dr. Nuttay.

Hi.

Why don't you have a seat?

I can't sit.

It hurts when I sit.

Well okay, then bend over so I can get a better look.

Okay.

So, doc, I mean, what are you gonna do,

I mean is it gonna hurt?

I mean doc, what's wrong with me?

Oh, will you shut up so I can do my job.

Keep your head straight.

Loosen those butt cheeks.

Is it gonna hurt?

Yes.

Bitch, you up--

Did you just call me a bitch?

No, I didn't.

Yes you did.

I said I had an itch, doc.

I found something.

Tell me does this hurt when I push?

You have hemorrhoids.

I can treat the two that I have found.

You're going to need surgery for the other ones.

Yo doc, what can we do about now?

You see my thumb?

This is about the size of your hemorrhoid.

And, the way that we treat these types is with rubber bands.

Rubber bands?

Yes, and what I will do, I just warp

the rubber band around the hemorrhoid.

Oh God.

He hemorrhoid blood circulation gets cutoff,

and the hemorrhoid falls off.

Now, turn back around and let me finish.

This won't hurt a bit.

Oh bitch, you lied!

Okay, you can get up now.

Are those real tears in the big man's eyes?

Doctors are supposed to have compassion.

I am a bitch, remember?

Besides, now you know how us women feel,

we get probes shoved up our orifices all the time.

I do not feel sorry for you.

Whatever, doc.

I can refer you to Dr. Filmore

if you feel more comfortable with a man.

Oh, hell no, you man enough.

Fine, I will see you next week.

Have a good afternoon.

Is there something wrong with your shitter?

Man, I can't even squeeze my ass cheeks closed, man.

Do I have to not remind you that we have a meeting

with veteran multi-platinum recording artist, Ms. Snatch?

She has millions of followers all over the internet

especially that new site My Tube.

No, no we're not having the meeting.

I'm gonna have to cancel.

What are you two whispering about?

Nothing.

Just prepping for the meeting.

Well, 'cause you know she's waiting for you, right?

You know with this Ms. Snatch we can change the game.

Alright, alright I got it.

Hey, do it look like my ass hurt?

No, no, you straight.

I'm good?

You're good.

Okay, wish me luck.

I gotta see this.

James did I say you can move your crazy ass mother

into my condo?

Well, when I get home you all better be gone, you hear me?

Bronson baby, why don't you come on over here

and sit down next to Ms. Snatch.

He can't, he's in a new workout plan.

Oh really, what kind of workout are you doin'?

It's a standing workout plan.

You stand all day you burn a gang of calories.

You know, let me call you back.

Sweetie, you don't need to lose one ounce,

not a pound, not a kilogram.

You're looking sexy just the way you are.

I could just take a bite of you right now.

Well, thank you Snatch, I appreciate that.

But, let's get back to business, alright?

What's it gonna take for me to get you signed?

Oh Trouble, you didn't tell him?

I told him, I told him.

Baby, we're going to dinner.

And, we'll just have to see where the night takes us.

I can't.

I'm sorry did you just say, "No," to me?

Sweetie, listen to me, if you even think about signing me,

you better get used to treating me

like I am the sexiest bitch on this planet.

Look my ass is hurt.

His ass is hurting to see the sexiest bitch on the planet.

Oh see, that's what I'm talking about, gimmie some?

Well, I guess I'll see you later, huh?

Ah, he'll see you at his place later on.

Oh, I like that, a little personal.

Alright sweetie, well I'll get to see you later then.

Bye.

Right, save me some.

Oh, I'll get that door for you.

Bye-bye.

You know being sexy is a full time job.

I look good in everything I wear, huh?

You know what I'm gonna name my next album?

Carmel, Sex, and Diamonds.

You know, I know you have a lot of loyal listeners,

Snatch, I can introduce you to a whole new level

of marketing and brand recognition.

I mean it's no secret, baby,

you don't need record labels anymore.

The internet changed the game.

What I can do for you at Sauce Records,

nobody else can do.

I can get you branded everywhere.

So, Bronson you still doing that little workouts?

Why don't you come over here and let Ms. Snatch relax you?

Look, let's just stop wasting time, okay?

Oh, yes daddy, let's do this thing.

So, I got your contract right here.

Just sign right here, we can get it going.

See didn't I tell you need to make me feel

like I'm the sexiest bitch on this planet?

Come on.

Hello?

What the hell you do with Snatch?

We just kicked it, why?

I'm at the studio,

and this chick is straight buggin'.

What's she doin'?

She making songs with some crazy ass title

like Baby Dick and Cotton Balls.

What you do to her?

You better get down here.

Oh, damn.

Yo man, I need you to come over, man.

She won't say a word to me.

What the hell happened last night?

Did she sign the papers?

Yo, I'll explain everything.

I just need you to come over, okay?

Alright.

Damn!

You busted a nut in two strokes?

That's it we're finished.

Listen, every man has pulled the trigger quick

at least once in his life.

I haven't.

You don't get it, it's not about cuming quick.

It's about the battle of the sexes

and ultimately the existence of this record company.

Man, you're crazy.

Think about it, when a woman lays on her back

and she spread her legs, she is telling the man

to establish dominance.

And, when you don't knock it out,

you set us men back 100 years 'cause now they feel

they have the right to talk shit and write songs

like Minute Man and Cotton Balls.

Even though Minute Man is pretty good.

Trouble, you know I've smashed more than enough chicks

in my life to feel secure about myself, alright?

She has over a million followers

on every media social site, you gonna be known

as Mr. Erectile Dysfunction, Mr. E.D.

What label gonna respect us?

What artist is gonna respect us?

Hell, I don't even respect us.

Listen Trouble, I can't even worry about that right now.

Alright, I got bigger concerns.

Man, what's bigger than this?

This.

What is it?

It's the rubber bands, they came out.

You mean to tell me these are the rubber bands

you had in your ass.

Yeah.

Man you nasty!

How you just gonna give me that?

I'm gonna tell your mama on you.

Oh man, I need to help me put 'em back in, please.

Oh, hell no!

That ain't my job description, homie.

I don't touch no man's ass.

I don't touch my own ass.

You better go to a doctor with that shit.

You know what?

I'm not gonna worry about this.

I'm holding you accountable to get these rubber bands

back in my ass today, or that's your ass.

I'm going upstairs.

Char, what's up baby, what's up, girl?

Check this out.

Hell no!

Hey B, wait in the bathroom.

Let me talk to Char in private for a second.

I am not playin'.

I am not doing that shit.

That's not in my job description.

Did you know if you hyphenate the word assistant,

it reads ass is taint.

His ass is taint, so it's right up your alley.

Hey yo, can you guys hurry up out there, come on man.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, Char called me.

Oh, and what happened to your lip?

You know what, you told me to shave,

and I've never used a razor before on my face.

And, I, you know what enough about me.

I heard you need some help.

I was just thinking about repainting

these bathroom walls that's all.

You know, I fired my interior decorator and so have you

any decorating experience?

I'm kinda lame in the decorating department actually,

but this place looks amazing.

Why would you fire her?

Well, she left me.

Oh, she was your girl?

Yeah, she was.

You know, I have a motto, I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em.

Interesting motto.

Well, enough about me.

What about you?

What about me?

I was a student at state, part-time medical assistant.

I recently got accepted into med school.

What?

Wow, that's impressive.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

So, they told you about the rubber bands, huh?

Yeah but listen.

You know, I'm gonna kill Trouble.

After working at the hospital,

I've seen all kinds of crazy things,

so this honestly doesn't shock me.

So, you think you can put 'em back in?

I don't know, but if you give me some gloves,

I can try.

Wait right here.

Now, I don't normally got what you're used

to working with, that's all I got.

You want me to use those?

Hey, you're the one that went to med school.

That's all I got.

Okay.

Here I go.

Yeah, alright.

You been working out, you stink?

That was Char.

That was Trouble.

You think you can get 'em back in?

You know, I don't think I can.

Shit.

I'm sorry.

It's alright.

But listen, I'm gonna tell you a secret

I used to tell my patients.

When something hurts just hold your breath,

and the pain will go away.

Hold my breath?

I'll try that.

So, what happened?

I gotta go see that crazy ass doctor, man.

I thought you said she worked at the hospital?

She did, but she wasn't going around

putting rubber bands in people's asses.

How you know?

Look, Terry gave me some good advice.

I think I'll be alright at the doctor's.

See there.

Come on Terry, let's go.

Bye.

Yo B, why won't you just get a different doctor?

Okay, Mr. Williams.

First, I'd like to say that it's an honor

to have a celebrity here in the midst.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, can we just hurry this up, man,

I'm in a lot of pain?

When I was in college, I bought all of your CDs.

I remember all the girls had a crush on you too.

Thank you, man, I do, but...

is that lip gloss you're wearing?

No, it's chapstick.

It's a little shinny.

I like to keep my lips supple.

It kinda smell like strawberries.

Oh no, no, no, sweetie, check your sinuses.

It's mango.

I like fruity stuff.

Okay, put your pants down, sweetie,

let's see what you're working with.

No disrespect, but I just appreciate it

if you don't call me that, alright?

No disrespect.

Just trying get this over with.

I have to admit I had a bit of a crush on you too.

Okay, you know what Dr. Filmore,

you ain't gonna feel no more for me.

Now, I'm gonna go see Dr. Grab Your Nuts, man.

Oh, let me grab your nuts!

Man, if you don't get your thick, greasy,

broke back, doctor hands off me, man,

I'm gonna send you back to Jesus.

I'm a buddhist.

Let me grab your nuts!

Dr. Sidelman, line one please.

Dr. Warner wanted in Radiology please.

Dr. Warner.

Doc?

Mr. Williams, you're back so soon?

Now, either you like me or you like the way

I put my fingers up your ass.

Listen, the rubber bands came off.

They came out?

Okay, bend over and let me take a look.

Come on.

Yo wait, since we're getting all personal,

you think a brother can have a hug or a kiss

or something after?

You need a hug, you better hug

onto that table and spread 'em.

You know doc, I was wonderin',

you know having these hemorrhoids,

can it affect my sex drive?

If it is on the right nerve,

it can cause you some difficulty.

Okay, you're all banded up again.

Have a nice day Mr. Williams.

Doc, trust me, alright,

you got one more time, smack my ass like that.

Get out of my office.

I don't want to see you in here again.

Yo B, let me be your A&R.

What do you mean?

You are my A&R.

I mean your personal A&R.

I want to help you rebuild your swag.

My swag?

Your swag.

Fool, I got swag.

Well no, I came up with this plan, right?

And, you're gonna be knocking down chicks

like your old dirty self in no time.

It's full proof.

Okay, let's hear this crackhead idea.

Think about it, alright?

Now, think of yourself as a prizefighter, right?

You been away from the game let's say for a short time.

And now, you want to come back and reclaim the title.

Alright, you have to have a couple of tuneup fights

before you can regain your belt.

So, you really think I lost it?

You playin' right?

Hell yeah, I think you lost it, man.

Damn, my mama used to tell me this all the time,

"Baby a set back is only a set up for a comeback."

Yo man, I ain't lost nothing, alright?

I still got my confidence.

Ms. Snatch is on her way in.

Hey yo, stop her!

It's too late she's at the door.

Where is he?

Huh?

Where is he?

I'm gonna call you back, Spielberg.

Hello, don't play with me.

Where is he?

Where's who?

You know who I'm talking about, where is he?

He ain't here.

What you mean, he ain't returning my phone calls,

my texts, I know my phone workin'.

I can't believe I left my presidential suite for this.

I'm a diva.

I don't have time for this.

I ain't no B.B.

Can I ask you a question?

What?

What's a B.B.?

A basic bitch.

His erectile dysfunctional, anti-horny ass, small,

What?

Calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down.

You know what if I was a dude,

I would knock you the hell out.

If I was a--

If you was a what?

If you don't--

Hi Ms. Snatch.

I'm sorry who it this?

You know what it don't even matter.

Where is he?

Who?

Baby dick, baby dick, where is he?

You know what, I just passed him down the hallway

if you hurry up, you can catch him.

Alright, you all better not be playing with me.

You're gonna have to run.

Alright, Jackie Joyner Kersey, alright.

You can stop hiding under your desk.

Alright, maybe I lost my swagger a little,

so what's this plan?

What up?

Welcome back to the world.

Yeah, man.

Good, I got a job for you already.

Let's get it, man.

Oh, I'm so happy to be out.

And, just like in my pool game,

let's get you cleaned up for your date.

So, all I gotta do is give your boy some.

That's it.

I set him up, and you knock him down.

I hope your boy ready, man.

It's been five years since I had me some cut.

Yeah, man.

And, I heard he likes it rough.

He gonna taste this tonight.

She has on some expensive ass makeup.

Cool, my man.

She said you're about to taste the flavors.

Now hold on, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, you know Bronson doesn't do the cunnilingus.

That ain't what I heard.

Listen, picture this as your first fight, okay, round one,

alright?

Two more rounds and we go for the Snatch.

Alright, cool.

Alright?

My man.

Alright, go get your swag back.

Yes, sir.

Come sit next to me, player.

Alright, sure.

Wow, you flexible.

I ain't gonna lie.

You're kinda sexy.

Always, daddy.

You trying to get into it?

What the hell was that?

That's just my shank.

Shank, what the hell you need a shank for?

Bitch gotta have protection, right?

Fools be trippin', you never know.

Where were we?

Man, your girl rode my face like it was a bike.

Don't tell me you ate that.

I had no choice.

You can't eat everybody cookin'.

You know what, they don't call you Trouble

for nothin' to they?

What?

What's that smell?

It smells like dangerous pussy.

Now, listen this next chick is a girl

named Hurricane Gussy.

She puts on like a Las Vegas like style show.

Man, she a stripper?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you could say that.

Hey, before you go, I got something for you.

Close your eyes.

Put your hands out.

Open 'em.

What is it?

It's a penis pump.

It's mine, I'm giving it to you.

It's yours?

Thanks, but no thanks.

I got a doctor you can see about that.

Hey, you know I'm strong, I stay working out.

May I help you?

I know that you're submerged in work,

but I was hoping you'd come up for some air.

The rose it looks a lot better than the band aid does.

Thanks, my mother sends me flowers

every week from our shop.

You said, "Our shop?"

Yeah, my family owns a flower shop.

This is a petunia.

Family owned, huh?

So, they don't send it down to you

from generation to generation,

you gonna be a flower keeper?

Maybe, this is for you.

I know that's not what I think it is.

Is that a parfait?

That's my favorite.

How did you know?

I did my homework.

Char.

Okay, you got me.

I have to admit I did have some insider information.

But, speaking of Char, I actually have

to go run an errand for her.

I'll see you later.

Oh, are we leaving early today?

I'm heading home.

Oh yeah, well Trouble actually left this for you.

What is that?

What is it?

It's a--

It had this note, "Remember Hurricane Gussy tonight."

That's right.

All the victims for Hurricane Gussy,

they having a banquet tonight in honor

of all those who didn't make it.

Really?

Well, what's that for then?

It's a pump.

I know it's a pump, but--

It's symbolic, you know, for pumping out flood waters.

B, I've really never heard of Hurricane Gussy,

but I'd love to come.

You think I can come?

Sorry, survivors only.

Really?

You know, funny because it says, "Hurricane Gussy

strikes tonight showtime eight o'clock."

Girl, they filmed a movie too.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

They gonna show that tonight too.

You sure I can't come, brother?

I'm sure, but look, if you excuse me,

I gotta get going, a banquet, bye.

Can you think about it at least?

I'd love to come.

What?

You didn't use the pump did you?

Hell no, I didn't use that pump.

I knew it.

I told you, you're gonna need it for Hurricane Gussy.

Using a pump is like lifting weights.

Yo, why you acting like this is

about to be a wrestling match?

Oh, you are a sexy little thing.

Come here and give Gussy a hug.

Oh baby.

I'm gonna give you a show.

Stay right there, stay right there.

Stay right there.

Let me get you comfortable.

Oh, that's right papi, that's right.

How do I put this, you're big and stuff.

Gussy gonna treat you right.

Let me take care of this now.

You got it?

Okay.

I brought my own music.

Oh yeah.

Ready for me, baby?

Let's go.

Gussy, what are you doing?

What you leaving?

I'm gonna kill Trouble.

I'm gonna kill him.

Damn, R. Shelly, pissing on me.

Open up just the torrential rains of Hurricane Gussy.

Hell no that's sewer water, bitch.

My man, how you like the show?

What does it smell like?

Oh man, what is that?

That smells like piss.

No, it's torrential rain as in Hurricane Gussy's big ass.

Bull shit, that's pee.

No, no, no it's torrential rain as of Hurricane Gussy.

Smell it again.

Oh man, you mean to tell me she peed on you?

Well, I had to get my ass outta there

before she started them damn mudslides.

Mudslide.

Man, Hurricane Gussy's a trip.

Gussy, Gussy, Gussy!

Gussy, Gussy,

man, come on let's play some pool brotha,

it'll make you feel better.

Gussy, Gussy, Gussy.

A mudslide, oh!

Trouble, I'm not laughing, alright?

Yo, but I give you some credit

maybe this whole getting these tuneups

before getting my swagger back might help

but just for now let me pick my women, man.

I got a phonebook full of women I can call and knock down.

Man, most of them girls after you

finish doggin' 'em out have turned gay.

Listen, any woman I have once, I can have again,

remember that, I schooled you.

As a matter of fact, rack 'em, so I can school you.

Let's see who I'm gonna do tonight.

Oh, let's see, Leticia.

Tecia, what's up, it's me Bronson.

How you doin'?

Well you know I just called to see how you doing

and see what's doing with you.

Wanted to see if you wanted to go out.

Uh, huh, kill myself, okay, alright.

Hello, Kitty.

Hey, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

You're a lesbian?

Well, bring your girl too.

Masako,

Hello?

Persha, Persha, how you doing, baby?

It's me Bronson.

Let's go out.

You're cool with it.

Say tomorrow, meet me at my place, say nine o'clock.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Listen, wear that little thing I like.

You know I like thongs.

What the hell was that?

Why you leave me?

What you didn't like my show?

Gussy?

That's right it's Gussy.

We need to teach this fool

how to respect women.

Tee-Tee, yo what are you all--

mi- ng[T)ee

ee] This is for all the women that you did wrong.

Gussy?

Tee-Tee?

Thank you for dinner.

Thank you my Arabian princess.

Arabian.

You know I'm from Calabasas.

Well, you are as beautiful as the Arabian lotus.

You know, if you didn't dump me,

you wouldn't be missing out on this.

So what, you're saying I can't have it anymore?

Why do you deserve this?

Persha baby, it's been agonizing not having you around.

Talk is so cheap.

You know, so agonizing a brother

went and bought you this.

Oh yeah, check that out.

Brawny, oh it's...

It's a quarter karat bigger than the one you

bought me last year.

Yeah, it set a brother back a few,

but you deserve it.

Well,

I have to tinkle.

Go use the bedroom bathroom.

You remember where that is don't you?

* About to get me some ass tonight

* I'm getting some ass

Eww.

Yeah man, so I'll just have to check that with you

probably tomorrow.

Alright.

Hi, I got you a parfait.

Oh, parfait, thank you.

And, this flower's for you, it's a marigold.

Thank you, very sweet.

So, what you do last night?

Nothing, I just watched the game.

Cathy Willis is walking in.

Who?

She's that gossip new reporter.

She just barged in.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Here we have Bronson, President of Sauce Records.

How you doing, Bronson?

Yo, what's goin' on?

Did you know he has a sex tape out?

What?

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

On the internet there's a sex tape of you.

You can download it.

It's about a minute long.

It doesn't take too long to watch.

In fact, I have it right here.

Check this out.

Is this woman your side dish?

This clearly was you.

Yo, that's not me.

That was you.

It looks like you.

Look, it's not, so let it go.

You and that camera up out of my office.

This is Cathy Willis with--

Thank you.

You're getting a raise.

Come to my establishment, disturbing my peace,

talking about sex tapes.

Mama, it's me if you see something on the news,

it's just somebody's trying to get me for my papers.

I love you.

Breaking news, ladies and gentlemen.

The CEO of Sauce Records, exposed.

We take you there.

You just lasted like two minutes.

Two minutes, hell yeah, yes!

That's not me.

That was you.

That looks like you.

Yo, it's not, so let it go.

You and that camera up out of my office.

This is Cathy Willis with a Shea Shea news exclusive.

I told you about them freaky escapes you been having.

That little stunt Persha pulled on us,

it caught up with you.

Now, look at us, no distribution.

We are Sauce Records.

We can get distribution from anybody we want.

Not without a roster of acts.

Everybody wanna leave, man, it didn't take longer

for them to hear about the news.

They want out.

They're in negotiations with other labels.

Everybody?

Everybody want out.

And, Ms. Snatch?

She in negotiations with that other record label,

Dav and Board.

I knew this was gonna happen.

I'm out.

After everything that happened today, I need me a drink.

Char, I'm gonna have to call you back.

I'll explain it to you later.

Come on, Bronson, I'll take you home.

Come on.

Oh, my head is spinning.

Yeah, come on.

Thanks.

That's good.

Why do you care about me so much?

I don't know, stupidity I guess.

Mixed in with a little bit of pity?

Just a tiny bit.

So, why didn't you go to med school?

I wanted to know what it was like

to work for a high profile music label.

Now, that's stupidity.

Girl, I know your parents are, like, pissed off.

They'll get over it.

I also wanted to meet you, work for a music mogul,

meet cool people.

When Char offered me the job, I just jumped at it.

Listen, music is cutthroat, okay?

It's too cutthroat for a young lady like yourself.

Listen, with your smarts, you should be working

at a hospitial.

The truth is I've loved you since I was a kid.

I have all your CDs.

Yo listen, stop with all these complements, okay?

You're starting to make me feel a little,

I mean I'm not that dude anymore.

That person that you fell in love with

was just an image to sell records.

I mean...

Stop, yo wait.

What's wrong?

You're my intern.

And, you don't know me.

Let me get to know you.

* Awoken by the waves as they're rolling in

* Blue sky is all I can see

* I wanna feel the sun shine on my skin

* Riding high on the breeze

* Saw you passing me by

* Were you catching my eye

* Reckon that you like the way I move

* Call me onto the floor

* Heartbeat asking for more

* Living for tonight nothing to lose

* We're out on a wave together

* Lost forever far away from home

* You show me a brand new rhythm

* Sunshine heaven made for us to roam

* To my surprise

* To my surprise

* Found paradise

* Found paradise

* You play me the sound of summer time

I didn't want to mess this up.

That was the best 59 seconds of my life.

Don't worry you'll get your stamina back in no time.

No time?

I don't know how.

And, if I do, it's gonna have to wait.

I got that damn surgery next week.

I know how to help you rehab faster.

What you Dr. Oz?

You got a hyperbaric chamber in your basement or something?

No silly, but I can give you one daily dose of vitamins,

and we can fuck everyday.

Okay, are you serious?

I'm serious.

So, that mean I gotta go stock up on the condoms.

That'd be a good idea.

Hold that thought.

So, if you serious,

I'm serious.

Let's start as soon as you finish doing what you got to do.

I can't believe you're moving in with penis pump chump.

Please don't start.

Come on, Terry, I mean Bronson is Bronson.

What is that supposed to mean?

Look, I've known Bronson for a long time,

a long time, and that guy has never loved

anyone else other than himself.

And, when he's done using you,

he's gonna dump you like he does everyone else

and move on to his backup plan whoever she is.

People change.

She's moving in?

Tomorrow.

Yo B. man, you about to lose your record company,

now is not the time to be honeymooning.

Listen, Terry's just gonna help me

rehabilitate after the surgery, okay?

Get a professional nurse to do that.

Yo, this girl went to med school,

I think she can handle it.

And, what the hell am I supposed to do

while you're down for surgery?

Well, you my senior VP, right?

I want you to hold down the label for me for a few weeks.

By the time you get back, it could all be over.

You could lose it all.

My sex drive's gone.

My pipe's not working.

I can't have sex more than a minute.

What can anybody else take from me?

Yo, I'm gonna get my life back,

and this woman's gonna help me do it.

I just hope you have a label to come back to.

Now, you of all people know,

I ain't afraid of being broke.

If I got to, I'll go back to selling CDs

out of the trunk of my car to build me another company,

and besides that's not gonna happen anyway.

We'll be working from home.

You got me?

I gotcha, man.

Go and heal up, I'll hold ya down.

My man.

Let's get this paper.

You know, I've been meaning to ask you,

exactly what are your intentions with my girlfriend?

What do you mean, Char?

I mean do you even love her?

Char--

Hi Char.

Hey, sorry I left today, girl.

Oh, no problem, Trouble helped me.

Thank you.

Hey look guys, give us a minute, alright?

Me and Char have to finish up some contract stuff, alright?

Sure.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Look, to answer you question,

I have deep feelings for her.

So, let me get this straight.

My girl is about to give up med school for you,

and all you can say is I have deep feelings for her.

Are you serious?

Well, I have news for you, Chris Brown

had deep feelings for Rihanna, so?

Yo, my man bananas about you.

Don't think I'm not the same way.

Look, before you came along Bronson's image

around here was that of a player.

But, that was mostly just to sell our brand.

Now, with you all hooking up, I don't want you

chasing away the groupies.

Why am I even discussing this with you?

I just want to know one thing.

What?

Are you gonna treat him right?

Yes.

Damn, you trying to get a promotion or something?

Girl, you need to think about school.

Wait, what?

Okay look, let's all just look at this

from a different perspective, okay?

I mean I haven't exactly given up going to school.

Me and Bronson are gonna be more like a team.

After his surgery, I'm gonna help him

rehab all the soreness away.

That's brilliant, why didn't I think of that?

You gonna get his pogo stick hopping again, huh?

Listen, instead of hooking you up with two or three freaks

for the tuneup, you just move a bitch in with you.

I mean,

What is he talking about?

Look, nothing.

Trouble, shut up.

Me and Char are gonna leave you all two love birds,

I mean, teammates alone.

Come on, Char.

Look girl, I want what's best for you guys,

but you need to think about school, okay?

Girl, don't you...

Bronson, what is Trouble talkin' about?

Yo look, that's just Trouble being Trouble, alright?

I mean listen to his name.

But, you know what he was talking about.

Look, I do, but--

So, I wanna know.

Okay, I'll tell you, alright, if you leave me alone.

Well, you know, Ms. Snatch, we...

we smashed.

I knew it.

But look baby, it was horrible.

I didn't like it and...

I came quick.

You know I knew there was something wrong with me.

That's why Trouble was trying to fix me up

with all these crazy ass dates, so I can get my stamina back

and have a goagain at Ms. Snatch.

Is that still your plan?

No baby, that's not my plan.

Well, your friend doesn't seem to think so.

Look, let me worry about Trouble, alright?

I'll make sure he get the memo, okay?

But, until then let's just go in the kitchen, you know,

fix a few sandwiches, I'm hungry.

And, I'm a little nervous about this surgery.

Don't be, it's gonna be a piece of cake, okay?

I have some very bad news for you.

Give it to me straight, doc.

I had to cut off your pixie stick.

You had to do what?

I'm very sorry.

I use that.

It's not like you were using it correctly anyways.

You a crazy ass doctor.

Can I grab your nuts now?

Oh, hell no.

Look at them muscles.

Okay, hey, don't ever do that to me again.

That's a tall ass gay dude.

Yo, I just wanna lay on my side, alright?

Hey yo, wait, can you get a bucket of ice

to pour on my ass please.

Yo, what's up?

yeah yo, how's your ass?

It hurt man, what you think?

How's surgery?

Not good.

But yo, let's change the subject,

how's the label comin' along?

Not good, we need more acts, man.

Well, Mr. A&R, get out there and sign some more acts.

Man, it's not any easy as it sound, everybody know

we're in Trouble.

What's wrong?

Yo, I just need to rest, alright?

Alright you do that, you heal up, man.

I'll holla back, I got a lot of work to do.

Yeah, yeah.

Will rest in a second, okay?

Yo, I wanna know one thing, alright?

Is all this walking part of my rehabilitation?

Yes it strengthens your muscles.

I just wanna know when we gonna get to that hot sex, girl?

You can barely walk, and you're

already thinking about sex?

Yeah, I just think that'd help me better

than all this damn walking.

Uh, huh, we'll see.

Oh my God baby, this is a breakthrough.

You lasted for seven minutes.

Yo girl, I'm not even gonna lie, girl,

your therapy is working.

You know what you need?

Add another woman and have a threesome?

No silly, pumpkin seeds.

Pumpkin seeds?

For what?

It'll replenish your sperm count.

Pumpkin seeds?

Oh, so you were serious about them pumpkin seeds?

Yeah, I was serious.

Drink up.

You sure?

Girl, that was nasty.

But, I can feel my balls filling up with sperm already, see?

Quit playin', it doesn't work that fast.

I do, come here, girl.

Yo, B!

It's your Boy.

B?

He must be in his studio.

Cotton ball, motherfucker.

* When you comin' home with me

I really like that track.

I think I could really do something with that melody.

Really?

Yeah, good work!

Well, thank you.

You know, it's just another Bronson beat.

So, I can give you this one along with a few others, and--

And, I'll have something for you by next week,

is that okay?

I'm gonna hold you to it.

Alright, sound good.

Alright, feel better.

Thank you, baby.

Little salsa caliente, you, afuera!

* Do you wanna take me over the limit

* Cause I'm givin' everything I need

* if you wanna come and be my fantasies

What up boy?

Can't call it.

Did you happen to pass the...

I saw that, I saw that.

Emael Chavez, straight from Mexico, bad!

Voice is crazy.

She may be what Sauce Records needs.

So, what's up?

Check it, I got an act we can sign.

Come on!

Beautiful.

Yes.

Intelligent.

Yes.

Attractive female.

Come on, man.

World renowned.

Who is she?

Ms. Snatch.

Hell no!

I'm not, no.

She been asking about you,

sayin' that she still might be interested.

And, she said she'd bring in three more acts with her.

How they sound, guys, girls, group, trio, threesome,

foursome, what?

Come on now, I know talent.

Alright, so let's sign 'em!

Yeah, but you gotta close the deal with Ms. Snatch,

knock it out.

You want me to make love to this woman?

No!

Come here you ain't listening.

Come here, come here.

I want you to fuck her!

No man.

Yo, me and Terry, man, we got something real special.

I can't, I'm sorry.

You playin' right?

You sick, what's wrong?

You have no fever.

I'm serious as a matter of fact

I wanna be with my woman right now.

So, If you'll excuse me, alright?

You playin', right?

So, fill me in on what's up with you and Bronson?

Actually, it's the best relationship I've ever been in.

Really?

He treats me like a queen.

Well, I don't mean to sound like a hater,

but you need to watch this guy.

That Ms. Snatch has been snoopin' around the office.

They call her Ms. Snatch 'cause she will snatch your man,

okay?

I wouldn't trust that girl around my man

if her coochie lips were stitched together.

The heifer's got a mouth, don't she?

She will suck that boy dry the minute you walk away.

You're crazy.

So, what you all two laughing about?

I mean I wanna laugh, Trouble you wanna laugh?

I feel like laughing.

Whatever, it's girl talk, thank you very much.

And Char was just leaving.

Yes, I was leaving.

I'll see you at work.

Bye.

What you all have to talk about?

Nothing, girl talk.

Alright well, hurry up out here

'cause I got something waiting for you in the bedroom.

Really?

Keyword, duct tape.

Duct tape?

The only way we are going to survive

is if you hook up with Ms. Snatch.

Yo look, I told you I'll go back

to selling out of the trunk of my ride.

Yeah, that's okay, and that's fine for you.

But, what about all the employees here at Sauce Records

depending on a check from you to feed their families?

What about me?

What about Char?

That's the nature of the business, man.

Man, that's all I got!

Man, you selfish, man.

Yo, yo, what are you doing?

I haven't cum, yet.

I did.

Plus, it's been 30 minutes.

Your stamina has really increased.

I'm thirsty, you want anything?

More sex, yes.

I'm tired, can we finish later?

I guess.

Okay.

I created a monster.

Yo Trouble, what up, boy?

Yeah, yeah man, I thought of that.

Look, tell Ms. Snatch we can do it.

I just gotta get rid of Terry this weekend.

Yeah man, Brawny back.

I'm back to running marathons, cool.

Baby, what's the matter?

Don't touch me!

It's not what you think, Terry!

Bronson, thank you for meeting with me.

You know, Trouble told me about your medical condition,

the hemorrhoids.

I really should apologize for shitting on you.

I guess I was a little bitchy, they would say.

But, Baby Dick and Cotton Balls, they were this year's

most downloaded songs, so I guess something good

came out of it.

But, I was hoping that maybe I can make it up to you.

Bronson,

are you listening to me?

Yeah, what were you sayin'?

I said I was hoping I can make it up to you.

I mean, I really make it worth you while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Make sure you call this time, alright?

Yeah, yeah.

Talk to you tomorrow.

What are you doing here?

Terry ain't here.

So, where is she?

I haven't seen her.

I warned you about hurting her.

Look, I know I was wrong, alright?

But, I did what I thought was best.

I made a good decision for the company

so to speak what I thought was a good decision, alright?

It wasn't just for me.

It was for you.

It was for Trouble.

It was for everybody at Sauce.

Yeah, everybody except Terry, right?

Look, there's no right way to do wrong,

and no wrong way to do right.

I mean what you're doing here, looking for her is right,

but it's too late.

Well, if you see her, tell her I said, "I'm sorry."

Actually, she enrolled back in med school up North.

Okay, yo thanks.

Can I help...

What are you doing here?

I just came to deliver a message.

Well, you should've just emailed me.

You know Terry, I've had a lot of success over the years.

And, then I lost something very important to me.

Remember, how you used to tell me

whenever you feel pain to hold your breath

and the pain will go away.

I've been holding my breath for months.

Terry, my heart still hurts ever since you left me.

What are you doing here?

I thought you didn't chase them, you replace them.

Look, love is just a word until somebody comes along

and gives it meaning.

For me, you gave it that.

I mean, I hadn't realized how empty I had become.

My whole world was built off a lie.

My swag, my confidence, it all was a lie.

And, when I lost my sex drive,

it all fell apart, but you, you helped me

get my life back together.

It's not that easy.

We have to do a lot of talking before we get--

Now, I recognize you.

You're Bronson from Sauce Records.

Man, congratulations on signing Ms. Snatch.

You signed her!

Yeah, Cotton Balls and Baby Dick,

those are my favorite songs.

You signed her!

Yeah, but it wasn't like--

I hate you!

Thanks.

Keep on pimpin' player.

Listen, I didn't have to sleep with her.

You're lying!

No, she's dating Trouble now.

Terry, If you would just listen.

No!

It's not gonna work with us, okay?

I'm not some sort of back up plan

you use whenever you wanna get your life back together.

Look, I'm just trying to do right by you.

That's all.

I want you to be my wife.

No.

Now leave, okay?

Just get out of here.

Hey girl, I'm guessing Bronson just came by.

Can you believe he told me something about Snatch

and Trouble dating?

Yeah well, you don't want

a guy like that anyway.

Are Trouble and Snatch dating?

It doesn't matter just do you, girl,

and keep working and going to school

Are Trouble and Snatch dating?

I guess they've been talking, I mean,

but really do think it's gonna last?

Hello?

No look Trouble, I'm done talking your stupid advice.

Okay, okay.

So, what you gonna do?

I don't even know, man, I feel so scrubbed out right now.

Man, you ain't no scrub.

Listen, I gotta go.

I got Snatch in the room waitin', gotta go.

You know, I lost love to help you find love.

Love, wait up.

Me and Snatch are smashin'.

I ain't waiting for no honeymoon.

Matter of fact, you give me the honey,

you can keep the moon.

Whatever man, just tell her I said, "What's up."

Alright, just give it some time.

I love you ,

Bronson Bartholomew Jenkins Williams the third.

Anyone present here today that feels

that this marriage should not take place,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

I do.

State your name and your reason.

Hurricane Gussy and Bronson owes me $350

for a show I gave him.

You survived Hurricane Gussy too?

Bitch, I am Hurricane Gussy.

Oh hell no!

Get your hands off of me!

Get those paws off of me!

You big old brute!

Look at you, your mamas probably throw you back in!

Charity event.

Rings please.

Do you Bronson Bartholomew Jenkins Williams the third

take this woman to be your wife?

Yes, I do.

And do you, Terry--

I do too.

* In your eyes

* I can see you're what you need

* By your side

* Is where I want to be

* Where I wanna be, baby

* No surprise that I love you like I do

* I'm falling

* I'm falling for you

Doc, I have finally gotten over my fear

of your examinations, and I'm ready to start.

So, let's get this over with.

Come on, let's make it do what it do.

Well, Mr. Williams according to your report,

I'm not going to have to exam your behind.

You don't?

Instead, I have to insert this long tube

through the opening of your penis and drain your bladder.

It is going to hurt very much.

Oh hell no!

Bitch, you still crazy.

I told you about calling me that.

Yeah well, any woman that wants to be,

you're honest to God a crazy fascination for dicks.

I have seen your little wiggle ranch,

and I am not fascinated by that.

You get out of my office again.

Ms. Snatch and Bronson house is caramel.

The way that I taste freaks you out

just as the pace, I've got the,

ah, sorry.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I ain't got time for this bullshit.

What the fuck you doing?

What the fuck.

Sit your ass down!

Get your ass down!

I ain't no bitch.

Get your ass, what?

Bullshit.

Don't call me.

I'll call you about those contracts.

Yo, ass boxes?

Yeah, I'll hold.

She said you're about to taste the flavors.

Yo, hold on, man, you know, Bronson

doesn't do the cunndalingus.

Ain't what I heard, but anyway.

Not for me, cunnilingus.

Cunnilingus!

Cunnilinger.

Cunndalingus?

Cunnilingus that's what I said.

It just sounded like, you said cunndalingus.

The black people will understand.

Is that a corn?

You are so selfish, but you know what,

I knew that, and I told her that.

But, she didn't want to hear me out.

And, please do not improv by myself

because it does not feel good, do you understand me?

So, if you see, if you must know, Bronson, B.

if I can call you that.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

Oh yeah, well I've seen your wiggle ranch,

and believe me it's not fascinating.

But, at the moment, it's all I got so come here.

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* A baby dick

* A baby dick

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* Uh uh, girl stop

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee

* My slacks in the back are the black on black

* Chauffeur therms gonna wreck some Iraq

* Got a house in the hills, got a house in the hood

* Look for a bottle let me bounce on his wood

* I'm a ride that bitch like a surfboard

* Better hear that from the back while I twerk on him

* Then I sit in his lap and go to work on him

* When swerve on, throw the curves on him

* But

* Girl, that ain't this

* This whole ass nigga wants to, shit

* Mr. Can't Get It Up puts some ass and says

* I'm like hey little bro' let me ask ya this

* Have you ever seen an ass like this before

* Have you ever fucked another bad bitch before

* Did the girls laugh when your drawers hit the floor

* You better let me know before I let you go

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* A baby dick

* A baby dick

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* Uh, uh, girl stop

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee

* Girl, remember that fool I was telling you about

* Which one the buffoon with the sleepy eyes

* Girl, don't be fooled by all those muscles

* He ain't got nothin' where it counts

* What

* Yeah girl, he got a baby dick and cotton balls

* A baby dick

* A baby dick

* Uh uh, girl stop

* Let me tell ya about it

* At his crib, big house in the hills

* Itch for the dick no doubt it was real

* Looking like D'Angelo and the guy's to fill

* Do be fucking Ms. Snatch from the back, can you dig

* Little bit deeper, put something in a reaper

* Can land these niggas in the bed can ya keep her

* One, two, three, the you bring it up against

* Thought I was getting smashed but I suddenly got mashed

* Mash dick never that mash dick, boy

* Boy masher complains

* Mash dick, boy, masher complains

* Mash dick, boy, masher complains

* Mash dick, boy, masher complains

* Mash dick, boy

* Masher complains

* Mash dick, boy masher complains

* Mash dick, boy, masher complains

* Masher complains

* Masher complains

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* A baby dick

* A baby dick

* Girl he got a baby dick

* Uh, uh girl, stop

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* A baby dick

* Girl, he got a baby dick

* A baby dick

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Goo-goo, ga-ga, pee-pee

* Baby got a peewee

* Him pee-pee a little wee-wee