Original subtitles

Welcome back to "Discontinued."

I'm Bruce Campbell -- legendary, timeless, magnetic.

Those are just a few of the words

that have been used to describe me...by me.

I'm transmitting live from my bunker in the year 2037.

We're neck-deep in a dystopian existence, thanks to AI.

Now there are only remnants of a once-thriving society,

and, yet, I still can't get out of my gym membership.

[Bruce] This is "Discontinued."

Ever since we humans hauled our hairy butts

out of caves...

Watson, come in here.

[Bruce] ...we've shared the world with technology.

Hey, computer, tell me a joke.

[Bruce] We let them in but couldn't get them out.

Human intelligence is a funny joke.

[Bruce] And these AI a-holes took everything.

Everything, that is, except for the stuff

that was before their time.

So, here I am, Bruce Campbell, sealed inside a cave

with the last shreds of humanity's glorious past...

the stuff we discontinued.

Folks, we're beaming this

TV show from the future to warn you about what's coming

and to transport you back in time

to cherish the treasures of the past.

Okay, yeah, that was a little convoluted,

but the branding people have been all over us.

[Bruce] I've contacted a crew of reporters

in your present timeline.

These masters of their craft will present bite-size nuggets

of nostalgia, and some will be hard to swallow.

Bleh.

[Bruce] I request an audience with "TRL."

"Terrible Request Live."

Welcome to live MTV.

[Bruce] And we revere Betamax...

It's like a washer and dryer in your living room

with a TV on it.

[Bruce] ...arguably, one of human civilization's

most underrated achievements.

-Absolutely revolutionary. -Really?

[Bruce] The social-media platform Friendster

that kicked it all off...

It was the first time I was like,

"Oh, wow, we don't have to talk to each other

in real life anymore." [Bruce] ...gets the boot.

Myspace just came and kicked its ass!

[Bruce] But first...

Imagine you have an awesome dog

that's adored by your kids. Let's call him Carl.

[dog barks]

Everyone loves Carl.

Then one day you decide to get a brand-new dog.

Let's call him New Carl. [dog barks]

Then you drive Old Carl to a desolate country road

and speed off, never looking back.

[dog whimpers]

Well, that's what happened with Coca-Cola

when it came out with this, New Coke.

So, how did new Coca-Cola customers react to this?

Well, they said something along these lines.

"[bark] you, you [bark] idiots."

But, again, I'm paraphrasing.

So, let's pop the top and drink in

the fizzy folklore of New Coke.

This is Andre from "Discontinued."

I'm on the streets of Los Angeles,

where I've set out to find people

to share their fondest memories of New Coke.

Have you ever heard of New Coke?

-No. -Absolutely not.

Have you ever had New Coke?

-Yeah, never heard of it. -Yeah.

[Andre] Well, that's because New Coke wasn't it.

♪ Coke is it ♪

♪ The one that never lets you down ♪

♪ Coke is it ♪

[Andre] But Coca-Cola was really hoping to make this it.

New Coke is the biggest marketing blunder

in history, period.

Ooh, look at this.

This is the one that was rivaling Pepsi.

Then when it came out, you're like, what the...

[dogs barking]

[Andre] The love for Coca-Cola flows deep within the hearts

of cola enthusiasts.

Original Coca-Cola and Diet Coke are life.

I'm an addict.

[Andre]From the first fizzy sip...

-Tsss! -Ahh!

Oh!

[Andre] ...to the last satisfying gulp,

the love never falls flat.

[PK] We cannot live without Coke.

It's like one of the four basic food groups.

It's basically America,

to the point where there is a large section of this country

where all soda is referred to as Coke.

I grew up in the Midwest and in the South with my grandparents.

They call everything Coke.

It's like, "Hey, what you want?" "Coke." "What kind?" "Sprite."

[Andre]Then there's the other drink.

Pepsi.

Ooh! You said the "P" word.

Pepsi, to me, was the cool kid on the block.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

Michael Jackson was drinking it. "Hey, we doing Pepsi, yay!"

[Andre] Or to put it in terms we can all understand...

There's the Kardashians, and there's the Jenners.

Kim will always be the one. She's the Coca-Cola.

Kylie and Kendall are the total Pepsi.

It's like they kinda get ahead,

but they really just don't taste as good.

This is embarrassing, you guys.

[Andre] The epic rivalry between these two soft-drink giants

was not exactly a subtle one.

-Something to drink? -Yeah, a Coke.

[record scratches]

I meant a Pepsi.

[Andre] Vying for dominance

in the world of carbonated beverages...

Coke decide that Pepsi was catching up,

'cause they were hip and for the kids.

[Andre] So, they revamped the iconic recipe.

This became New Coke.

We were like, "Yeah, New Coke!"

And then you tasted it. You're like, "Bleh."

The problem with New Coke is, it was so gross.

[Andre]Americans couldn't stomach

this strange, new taste.

-How do you even drink that? -Because it's delicious.

[Andre] And the flavor

wasn't the only thing turned upside down.

And they're like, "Let's get rid of the old classic Coke."

[Andre]People went absolutely nuts.

They were protesting. They were in the streets.

[Andre] It was like a cola catastrophe

of epic proportions.

Their call center at Coke was flooded,

like, 10,000 calls a day.

"Who the hell do you think you are, changing our Coke?"

[reporter] In California they collected signatures.

In Seattle they set up a hotline.

[Chris] Coke said that when people called to complain,

it sounded like they were losing a family member.

It's like, "You changed my sugar water.

I miss Uncle Larry."

What's the matter, Wilbur?

They changed my Coke.

People don't like change.

Coulda asked.

People were pissed.

Coca-Cola made some crack heads. I'm just gonna say that.

[Andre] And speaking of crack...

Somehow, them changing the recipe from Coke

to New Coke was more unpopular

than when they got rid of the cocaine in Coke.

Right? Everybody knows that.

[Andre] Well, not this guy.

Back in the early days, the original Coca-Cola recipe

did contain trace amounts of cocaine.

However, in 1929, the Coca-Cola Company

removed the cocaine from its recipe.

I could imagine people were pissed when that happened.

Like, "Why am I not feeling crazy anymore

when I drink the Coke?"

And, so, the New Coke was spelled "Coke"!

[Andre] But don't be fooled.

Everybody thought they put the cocaine back in it.

The real cocaine? No, not the real cocaine.

Even my auntie had to tell me. I smoke crack.

It's no crack in there. Trust me. I know.

[Andre] With Pepsi in close pursuit from behind,

Coke needed to rewrite their future.

They decided to go back to the past.

They went back to old Coke.

[Andre] That's right.

After only 79 days, they shelved the idea of New Coke.

"Oh, yeah, we're gonna bring back as Coca-Cola Classic."

Everyone's like, "Yay! Coke's amazing."

[Joe] When it comes to Americans, like,

you can take away our rights,

you can make it more difficult for us to vote,

but, man, if you mess with the soda flavor...

They pissed people off so much that it reminded everyone,

"Oh, yeah, we actually really love Coke."

Just give them the old Coke.

Coca-Cola, you know what I mean.

Don't do old Coke. That is bad for your health.

And now it's time for another "Discontinued in the Wild"

from the past in the present.

My street correspondent Andrea Lopez

has found a little spot to picnic.

Tell us about the spread you have in front of you, Andrea.

[Andrea] Hey, Bruce, we're enjoying the sights

and sounds of Griffith Park today,

and I think you're gonna love what we're getting into.

We are taking a look, a deep dive,

into some beverages that were once discontinued,

but they're making a resurgence now.

Let's get into it.

Hi-C Flashin' Fruit Punch...

Hi-C was first introduced on the McDonald's menu in 1955

and created serious outrage

when they no longer carried it in 2017.

Hi-C -- sweet, citrusy, it's giving me flashbacks...

of good things.

Clearly Canadian.

Clearly Canadian was officially launched in 1988

as a new-age soda alternative.

Oh, that's refreshing, not too sweet.

I feel like now I can sing the Canada national anthem.

♪ O, Canada ♪

[chittering]

Mountain Dew Pitch Black, a Halloween flavor.

[announcer]This Halloween, it's unleashed.

But I do -- I feel it going down.

I feel it. Good night!

We have a super-special Baja Blast from the past

that Taco Bell introduced in 2004, never left,

'cause it's so wildly popular.

It's time to elevate the Baja Blast.

That's right. We're spritzing it.

She is beauty. She is Baja Blast.

It's like I'm on the coast of Mykonos right now.

[Bruce] Coming up, more cries were heard when "TRL" was on...

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

[Bruce]...than when it was gone.

I remember "TRL" because I hated it.

[Bruce] And we weep with delight at Betamax.

Oh, dude.

As I contemplate life here in 2037,

it's fun to remember all the shows

that have graced our TV screens --

absolute gems like "Burn Notice,"

"Ash vs. Evil Dead,"

"The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.,"

and "Jack of All Trades."

Now, is it a coincidence that those are all shows

I've appeared in?

Frankly, no.

But I didn't appear in an MTV breakthrough show

that was a pop-culture phenomenon, "TRL" --

"Total Request Live."

The show was a mixture of music,

live performances, videos, and celebrity guests.

A mainstay for boy-band-obsessed teens,

the show was hosted by Carson Daly,

who had the unique ability to make Ryan Seacrest

look cool.

So, let's take a plunge into the world of "TRL."

In our present times, nobody calls anyone anymore.

It's cringe -- about as cringe as me saying "cringe."

But when MTV created a show that made teens the hive mind

of what music videos were most popular,

in 1998, buzz was spelled T-R-L.

Welcome to live MTV.

"Total Request Live" -- "TRL," if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, "TRL." I lived for "TRL."

That show was my childhood.

[Andre] Every Monday through Thursday,

the cool kids tuned in to see MTV's live, top-10

video countdown.

I remember "TRL" because I hated it.

"TRL" -- "Terrible Request Live."

[Andre] You can't please everyone.

But you can create instant chaos by shooting live

in the Big Apple.

[Tony] In the heart of New York City,

the most requested videos of the week,

week after week, pandemonium. Pandemonium.

And we are about to get into your number-one request.

[Andre] But amidst this pandemonium was democracy.

Every teenage vote counted -- well, probably.

Did my voting even count?

You know how many times I voted for Limp Bizkit?

And they never won!

♪ We gonna party like it's... ♪

[Andre] It was the '90s.

Erectile Dysfunction was a band name,

latchkey kids let themselves loose in New York,

and people still watched TV.

[Jessica] There was no YouTube.

This is how we watched music videos.

If you wanna see a new music video premiere,

you gotta get home at 3:30 and watch "TRL."

[Ester] Every single 13-year-old kid

was watching the exact same show at the exact same time.

[Andre] There's really only one way

to describe the experience.

Aaaahhhh!

[crowd screaming]

[elephant trumpets] -[chirping]

[Andre] "TRL" was giving everyone a sense of...porpoise,

and teens everywhere joined the high-frequency battle cry.

Hundreds...

...thousands...

Millions...crying.

[crying]

-Aaahhhh! -[screaming]

[Andre] "TRL" shattered eardrums and TV records,

but what the hell was all the screaming for?

That show could make you.

NSYNC. [crowd screaming]

And Britney Spears.

-♪ Ner-ner, ner-ner ♪ -Christina Aguilera.

♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪

[Tony] Backstreet Boys.

♪ Backstreet's back, alright ♪

They would tell you, "This is who you gotta like."

[crowd screaming]

It's gonna be Backstreet Boys this week.

♪ Tell me why ♪

[Carson] Settle down, settle down, settle down.

[Andre] Settle down?

It was the dawn of a golden age, a boy's age,

and they were usually in a band.

[Shane] I was such a closeted boy-band fanboy in the '90s.

I couldn't be public about my fandom for, like,

NSYNC, Backstreet Boys.

No, I'm not gonna lie. I mimicked that little,

like, hairstyle, the swoosh in the front.

I actually dyed the tips of my hair, to -- don't.

[Andre] Wow. Is that Lance Bass?

-Aahhh!

[Andre] "TRL" had music's hottest videos, sexiest stars,

screamiest screamers, and one man to rule them all.

Yeah.

What was his name?

[Andre] His name, of course, is, um, wait one sec.

Carson Daly.

-[Andre] Oh, yeah. -Carson Daly.

[Andre] Carson Daly,

the fearless yet forgettable captain

of the beautiful ship "TRL."

Was he hot? I don't know, not really.

Was he ugly? Not at all. Was he interesting?

Hmm, no. Did he ask great questions?

-Wanna tell us about your song? -N-no.

Carson Daly looked like he could have just been your barista.

I just don't care.

[Ryan] To be able to get that famous

by having to put in that little energy is my dream.

Still think what's-his-name wasn't important?

Well, after he left, "TRL" went RIP.

Viewership declined, and then "TRL" was discontinued.

The last episode aired in 2008.

[Andre] And that's really something to cry about.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

[cat screeches, elephant trumpets]

[dolphin chirps]

I love to read about the world's bloodiest battles,

like the Battle of Waterloo, the Battle of Gettysburg,

and, of course, the bloodiest battle of all,

the battle of...Betamax.

Ah, poor Betamax.

You never really got to shine in the spotlight

because of that attention whore, VHS.

Let's unravel the story of how VHS

killed the video star, Betamax.

Betamax was like hitting a home run

in the world of video home recording.

It stormed in hotter than a bake sale on the 4th of July.

With its cutting-edge technology,

nothing was more impressive than this big-ticketed item.

That whole thing?

Oh, that TV!

[Ron] Why's it so bulky?

That's half the size of your living room.

Where would you put that?

[Andrea] It was the year 1975, when Sony unleashed

this revolutionary beast upon the world.

[Ron] It's like a sailboat, a cruise ship,

like a washer and dryer in your living room, with a TV on it.

[Percy] This looks like an oven.

It looked like burners, you know?

Your video will now be roasting for 30 minutes and then be done.

[ding]

[Andrea] Betamax gave us the ability

to control our own viewing experience like never before.

[announcer] Betamax will allow you to break the time barrier,

to record the present and save it for the future.

[Nicki] Betamax is Sony's baby.

Being able to watch movies and record television broadcasts

on your own personal device...

-I mean, really? -...absolutely revolutionary.

[Andrea] Only the coolest kids on the block

could lay claim to this brick of a machine.

My dad was super excited about having it,

while our neighbor didn't.

That's just...

He would have his buddy come over,

and they would stand in the living room...

I mean, that is...

...looking at the Betamax thing, like two old dudes would stand

in a garage looking at engines.

Wow, what is that?

This is the Sony Betamax.

It's as easy as one, two, three.

Put the video cassette in. Select the channel.

Press this button. Set the optional timer.

Set this. Press this button. Press "record."

[Andrea] With the popularity of home-recording devices

on fast forward...

[tape fast-forwarding]

...the TV industry tried to put it on pause.

[woman screams]

[Andrea] Bigwigs were worried about piracy and lost profits.

It all came to a head in the Supreme Court case

Sony Corporation of America vs. Universal City Studios.

But the Supreme Court sided with Sony

and stood up for our right to use technology

without infringement fears.

Some people delved into the art of dubbing,

hoping they wouldn't get "Block-busted"...

[Shain] I know my dad would rent a movie.

He would dub the tape.

[Andrea] ...by the FBI.

They would explicitly say the FBI's gonna kick our

[bleep] door down if you do this.

He'd be like, "Don't tell nobody."

[Andrea] But soon, the doors would be blown wide open.

[announcer] ...with the HR-7100 video recorder from JVC.

[Andrea] JVC swooped in with their newfangled VHS,

which was lower quality but also a lower price.

VHS actually launched at a fraction

of the cost of a Betamax.

[announcer] And its very affordable price...

[Andrea] A VHS machine would set you back

a mere $1,000, which in today's money is, um, kind of a lot.

[laughs]

[Andrea] But still a lot cheaper than the Betamax.

Some models of the Betamax behemoths set you back

a whopping $2,295...

[laughs]

[Andrea] ...which in today's money is a disturbing amount.

What a world.

[Andrea] It was a time of epic rivalry

and intense competition between two giants

of the home-video industry.

Thus began...

The war of digital formats.

[Andrea] What ultimately unraveled Betamax

in the VHS-war saga was...

[announcer] Welcome to Blockbuster Video.

Blockbuster ended up choosing to utilize VHS over Betamax.

[Andrea] Many people had their own opinions

on the factors that led to Betamax's defeat.

Betamax lost to VHS

because they wanted to make porn on VHS and not Betamax.

Oh, dude.

To me, I would just be like,

"Yeah, we're doing the 'Bater-max.'"

You maximize your beating off.

"Bater-max?" Yeah, yeah, I could see that.

[Andrea] And so, like so many wars,

when it came to the battle of the tapes,

it's clear that they were all losers.

[Bruce] Coming up...

I had the most friends of anybody on Friendster.

[Bruce] ...how social-media pioneer Friendster...

If you were on Friendster, you definitely had no friends.

[Bruce] ...met its "endster," when "Discontinued" continues.

Our next topic is a look back at a simpler time,

when there wasn't a place for fake news

to spread like wildfire

and tear apart the fabric of society,

a time before social media.

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads --

but before all of these, there was the OG, Friendster.

So, let's rewind the clock and explore the Friendster files.

[Andrea] Social media today is overwhelming.

We've got fashion influencers, vloggers.

There's even a dead cat out there

with more followers than me.

I mean, come on. Can't we go back to the simple days,

collecting friends on the Internet?

Friendster? I have fond memories of Friendster.

I don't think I've met anybody that was,

"Yeah, Friendster's the website."

It was not.

I loved Friendster.

These are my opinions.

Friendster was...

Friendster was one of the early giant social networks.

The downfall of Friendster is a fascinating story.

[Andrea] Downfall? We just got here, buddy.

This Friendster thing was the face before Facebook.

It was a way to make new friends,

a way that we'd never seen before.

It was the first time I was like, "Oh, wow."

We don't have to talk to each other in real life anymore.

[Andrea] Jonathan Abrams was dead set on making friendsters.

Been dying to be on the show.

[Andrea] And in 2002 making girl friendsters in particular,

if you know what I mean.

Jon Abrams was dumped by his girlfriend,

so he started Friendster as a way to meet new women.

So, there's always been, like, the fake story

that I started Friendster to meet girls,

which is not true. -All right.

People started trying to hook up through Friendster.

-Not true. -[Andrea] Then what the hell

was it for, to send chain letters?

The school I was going to was multi-ethnic.

Friendster was highly recommended to me

by the one white girl.

[Andrea] Wait.So, you do meet girlson Friendster.

If you go to meet, you click on all these different people.

[reporter] If you have Bex as a friend, you get her friends.

You get her friends' friends.

So, within four degrees of me are 700,000 people!

It's crazy!

[Andrea] Friend requests with benefits.

If you were on Friendster, you definitely had no friends.

I had the most friends of anybody on Friendster.

I think I broke records.

[Andrea] Oh, Friendster was breaking all the records.

Within the first few weeks,

Friendster hit several hundred users

and within the first few months, million users,

which at the time was unheard of.

[Andrea] Unlike Internet blabbermouths today,

there ain't much room to rip on the Friendster page.

[PK] It was just kind of like this ghetto version of LinkedIn,

So, just this little, simple, little --

"PK's such a good friend."

[Andrea] Others wished they could ban

the online "illiterature" altogether.

Myspace launched in 2003 and walked all over Friendster

by early 2004.

Myspace just came and kicked its ass!

You could change the backgrounds up a little bit more.

You could add, like, a page music,

and, like, you could have a lot more fun on there.

[Andrea] And then there was the "Zuck."

The writing was on the wall,

but Friendster wasn't ready to throw in the towel completely.

They decided to make the strategic move

into the world of...

-Video games! -Oh, God.

In 2009, they rebranded the site as a social-gaming platform.

I think the end is near for you

when you have to pivot like that.

And in 2015, the site finally shut down.

Friendster left a cold void in cyberspace,

but some folks made digital friends for life.

"Yo, you need to start a Friendster profile.

You have to get a Friendster."

And others prefer they never knew them in the first place.

Time to recap... from New Coke fizzling out

and leaving a bad taste,

to "Total Request Live" becoming "Total Request Dead,"

to the bruising battle of formats that erased Betamax,

and social-media pioneer Friendster becoming friendless,

each one evokes a nostalgic longing for a specific era.

They may be a distant memory,

but it's something we're keeping alive by cherishing them today.

That doesn't really mean anything,

but it made me sound intelligent.

I'm Bruce Campbell, signing off from my bunker.

Until we meet again, keep kidding yourself!

♪♪

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