All language subtitles for Discontinued.2023.S01E03.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH_track3_[eng]

Welcome back to another fun,
nostalgic ride on Discontinued.

Hi folks, I'm Bruce Campbell.

You might know me from
my cult classics

on the silver screen,
or my iconic status

in the entertainment industry.

You might also know me
from the Burbank Ace Hardware,

home and garden department.

I had to pick up a little slack
for a few years there.

I'm transmitting live
from the year 2037

from the safety of my bunker.

AI has taken over and
it's a dystopian nightmare

filled with desolation
and hopelessness.

On the bright side,
I don't have to attend

any more gender reveal parties.

Welcome to Discontinued.

Ever since we humans hauled our
hairy butts out of caves...

Watson, come in here.

...We've shared the world
with technology.

Computer, set a five minute
timer please.

We let them in,
but couldn't get them out.

Launching the nukes
in T-minus five minutes.

And these AI A-holes
took everything.

Everything, that is,
except for the stuff

that was before their time.

So, here I am, Bruce Campbell,

sealed inside a cave
with the last shreds

of humanity's glorious past.

The stuff we discontinued.

Now, I'm not doing this alone,
even though I easily could.

I've hired a crew in your time,

and asked them to look back
at things in a different time.

Why? Well, to help
you re-discover

the precious gems of the past

and to appreciate
them before it's too late.

There's Disneyland's
Videopolis.

This sounds like a place
I wanna go.

[Bruce] That's what
the local gangs said.

[Cody] Some of these gangs
ended up considering Disneyland

as part of their turf.

We'll take a deep whiff...

Ooh, that's pungent.

...Of gas fumes and regret,

with Harley-Davidson cologne.

It smells like motor oil
and domestic abuse.

And we'll watch the bell toll
for Saved by the Bell.

That was literally part of
my every day life.

But first...
We're starting today

with a name known
the world over,

who has served billions.

I'm talking about McDonald's,

Maccy D's, the Golden Arches.

McDonald's introduced
the Arch Deluxe to the world,

targeted to mature adults,

which honestly sounded
weirdly erotic.

Welcome to McDonald's
after dark.

Let's drive right
through this story.

Hi, I'm Andre from Discontinued,

and I'm heading out
to the streets of Los Angeles,

hoping to find people
who can remember

the fabled Arch Deluxe.

Have you ever heard of
McDonald's Arch Deluxe?

Mm, no.

No, I never have.

I think it had
spider earthworms.

What?

She seemed to be
an unreliable source.

That is a happy meal,
I guess. [laughs]

So, we headed back to the
nostalgic connoisseurs

-to find out what is...
-[man] McDonald's Arch Deluxe,

the country's
favorite new burger.

And not just because
of the hat.

[laughs]

What is an Arch Deluxe?

It just sounds like
coronary artery disease.

See, this is a-- this is a grown
person's burger, right here.

[Willie] The Arch Deluxe
was like the little kid

wearing their parent's clothing.

You know, like when that kid
just wanna be like,

"I'm a grown up too,"
and you just see, like,

the daughter just with
the make-up all over the face.

It was a kid's meal for adults.

[Andre] Odd choice
for the fast food restaurant

that introduced the
world to Ronald,

and whatever fresh nightmare

these guys came from.

[Tony] A lot of times,
this is a kid's first word.

"What we having
for dinner?" "McDonald's."

That was grounds for
celebration, my shirt was off,

I'm doing cartwheels
in the backyard,

even though we didn't
have a backyard,

-it was like a parking lot.
-[Andre] While then,

these guys peddled McDonald's
burgers and Happy Meals

quite successfully
for over 20 years,

-until...
♪ Whopper, Whopper, Whopper ♪

...Burger King and Wendy's
came around...

-Where's the beef?-...To butt in

on the market share
in the late '80s.

[Joe] So, in the early '90s,
McDonald's got the focus groups

and they did market research
and they found out

everybody thought McDonald's
was a kid restaurant,

and they were like,
"No, we're not."

So, Ronald McDonald
exchanged a wig...

-What would I do?
-Yeah!

...For a hat.

So, they hired a chef.

[man]
McDonald's Executive Chef.

They would say, like,
"Was created by

"the Head Chef of McDonald's,"

who was not the Head Chef

at any McDonald's, I'm positive.

Yeah, he wasn't exactly
Gordon Ramsay.

But, you know, they put him
in every single commercial.

It's right up your alley.

[Andre] Real chef or not,

McDonald's took over a year

to come up
with this new burger.

[Mike] They had special sauce.

They even threw bacon on it.

Like, this sandwich
was fully equipped.

It was essentially in like a
burger briefcase.

I remember, like,
my dad ordering them

and it would, like,
rip through the bag.

And, it was, like, a big burger,
but that felt excessive.

[Andre] So, in order
to appeal to adults,

McDonald's had to think
outside the box.

A box so big,
it ripped open the bag,

the bag of money
they were about to drop

-on this marketing campaign.
-Come on, Dad.

[Joe]
So, they spent $200 million

to advertise this thing,

which is like one of
the biggest ad campaigns

for this thing that
nobody really wanted.

[Andre]200 million is small potatoes,

because McDonald's projected
the Arch Deluxe

to pull in $1 billion
their first year.

[hip hop plays]

The marketing team
took a hard left turn

from McDonald land
and into adult burger.

The slogan for
the Arch Deluxe was...

[man] The burger with
the grown up taste.

They were doing
these commercials,

it was Ronald McDonald
in a business suit.

That's, like, uncomfortable.

Like, clowns are creepy enough
as is,

then when you dress them up
like they're going

to a job interview,
it's even scarier.

Cos they were like,
"[BLEEP] kids, at this point."

A lot of adults don't want
nothing to do with McDonald's

if they don't have kids,
you gotta have kids in there.

[Andre] Okay, so they
brought the kids

back into the commercials.

But, even those were a bit...

Arch Deluxe.

Urgh, gross.

You're telling me if I eat
anything from McDonald's,

I'm gonna end up growing up.

I don't wanna grow up.

It might have failed even
before it began.

Might have been too fancy
for old McDonald's.

[Andre]The Arch Deluxe campaign

-confused everyone.
-Nice hat.

[Andre] It alienated
their target audience

and failed
to bring in a new one.

After five years...

[Joe] Sales just kept declining,

till 2000, they're just--
they gave up,

and that's it, they pulled it.

And, I don't think
anybody noticed.

I didn't even know the Arch
Deluxe was discontinued.

I thought it was like the McRib,
and it was gonna come back.

It just never came back.

[Andre] All in all,
the Arch Deluxe went down

as the most expensive
failed campaign

in McDonald's history.

For a burger nobody seemed
to want, or like.

Wait a minute,
no one liked the Arch Deluxe?

Oh.

Okay, maybe some people
liked it.

I also liked it.

Thanks Andre. And now, it's time
for another discontinued

in the wild from the past,
in the present.

I have my correspondent,
Andrea Lopez,

out in the street,
so let it rip, Andrea.

Thank you Bruce. We're here,
on the Venice boardwalk,

exploring, and we're gonna
talk to some people

to see what they miss
from previous generations,

and what relics of the past
would they like to bring back.

What is the main thing
you miss from the past,

and given the opportunity,
what would you bring back?

I would have to say, probably,Nick at Nite from Nickelodeon.

It's one of my favorite
things that I miss.

Who misses the '90s?

-Did you watch CatDog ?
-Yes!

CatDog, CatDog, cat eating dog.

[laughs]

Hey Arnold! is definitely one.

Recess is an absolute favorite.

Wow, that just brought me back.

Oh, let's bring back
Rocko's Modern Life.

-That's a really good one.
-Definitely inappropriate,

loved every episode.

What do you miss from the past?

He probably misses the chicken

-he had this morning.
-[laughs]

Anything about games

you'd love to see come back?

I know that Mario's
huge right now,

but, like, Nintendo 64,
I don't know if people

are even still playing it.
I would love it

to make a huge comeback.

N64, the Crash Bandicoot game.

Oh, my... [stutters]
I would have beat you.

Honestly, you probably would
have beat me,

cos I was like
four years old, but... [laughs]

That's not funny. [laughs]

Any styles from
the '80s or '90s?

The cheetah prints.Cheetah Girls need a reboot.

I would probably
go with puka shells.

-Really?
-They're the best.

Yeah, actually jelly shoes,
that was a big thing of mine.

If you wanted blisters fast...

-jelly shoes.
-Jelly shoes.

You're also the hottest
bitch on the beach.

-True, true.
-[Bruce] Coming up...

The No-Soul Train,
for the Disney Channel.

[Bruce] Pop on your mouse ears
and let's revisit

the happiest place on Earth...

For gang members.

That led to the demise.

[Bruce]And, take a deep breath folks.

Legendary Harley-Davidson.

When Discontinued...

Things aren't easy
in the year 2037.

As far as the eye can see,
crumbling structures stand

as haunting reminders
of a forgotten civilization.

But, when I'm stuck in a rut,

not sure where my life is going,

here's what I do...

[techno music plays]

A-ha!

That's right...

I get jiggy with it.

Well, Disney used
a similar tactic in the '80s,

when it was trying to dance
its way to a new audience.

I give you, Videopolis,

Disneyland's dance club.

A long time ago, in a theme
park far, far away,

the empire known as Disney
fought to stay relevant.

But, Star Wars, a 6ft rodent,

and even giant turkey legs
weren't enough.

Disney needed
a mouse metropolis,

or a video, or a...

-Videopolis.
-Videopolis.

-Videopolis.
-So, what is it called again?

♪ We're going to
the top, Videopolis ♪

Videopolis was basically
dance club at Disneyland.

Let's get into trouble
with Nia Peeples!

For, you know,
all the cool people

that hang out at Disneyland
at night.

[Andrea] Yep,
a dance club for kids.

♪ Do you smell trouble? ♪

What kind of trouble could
your daughter possibly get into

with a free weekend
and the keys to your car?

We drove all the way
from Birmingham.

[Andrea] So, how did Mickey
Mouse end up in da club?

Disney was trying to appeal to
an older crowd

to move away from
their family-friendly image.

Well, what are we waiting for?

I don't know, I have any kind
of like suspicious activity

when adults want to lure
teenagers into, like,

a room with a fog machine,
and, like, flashing lights.

It's weird.

[Andrea] But, in 1984, Disney
had fallen on hard times.

So, they brought
in Michael Eisner,

former CEO
of Paramount Pictures,

to help revamp the business.

The story goes that Michael
Eisner

brought his son, Breck,
to Disneyland one day,

and he said
it was super lame, basically.

[Andrea]Baby Breck was super bored.

But, daddy had
a super-duper idea.

Disney's full of
all kinds of weird,

hang-around gimmicks,
especially at the park,

and I think Videopolis
was a great example of that.

[Andrea]With Eisner's green light,

sweaty teens got to boogie down
at downtown Disney

in record time.

Videopolis opened
on June 22nd 1985.

From development to opening
took just about 100 days,

which is breakneck speed
for Disney.

[Andrea] And, it was a fast pass
to success.

[Cody]
Videopolis was so popular,

and eventually saw
such acts as Oingo Boingo,

The Bangles,
New Kids on the Block.

And while teenage fans were
screaming with excitement,

the Disney channel
was busy capitalizing

on the Videopolis craze.

They ultimately
had two TV shows,

one called Videopolis,

and a special calledVideopolis Superstars.

It was Soul Train. ..

[disco music plays]

...For the Disney channel,

AKA, the No-Soul Train.

[Andrea] Yeah,
I know what you're thinking.

This sounds like a place
I wanna go.

[Andrea] Exactly.
But, Disney wasn't the only

place in town to cut a rug.

[Cody] Disney basically
ripped off their idea

from Knott's Berry Farm,
the local competitor,

who, in 1984,
had opened an MTV-inspired

outdoor club called Studio K.

[Andrea]That was Knott's-very smart,

because a dance-off was
the least of Disney's problems.

[Cody] In Orange County,
gang violence between teenagers

became a huge problem,

and some of these gangs
ended up considering

both Disneyland and Knott's
as part of their turf.

-Gang-gangs?- [Andrea] Yeah.

And, we're talking more Bloods,
Crips than Jets, Sharks.

So, you had kids that were like,

"No, my park's Disney,"

and, "My park's Knott's Berry"?

-Is that what you're saying?
-[Andrea] Unfortunately,

that's exactly
what we're saying.

Course they're starting gangs.

They're like, "Ah!
I wanna [BLEEP] so bad,

"but I can't, so let me go fight

"people from
Knott's Berry Farms."

Ultimately, although
it happened on a night

that Videopolis
wasn't operating,

two teens were shot,
and one of them died,

in the parking lot
of Disneyland,

and it was forever linked

in the public consciousness
with Videopolis.

That led to the demise.

[Andrea] Although the incident
wasn't entirely to blame,

add that to the growing shift
in music taste,

and the park
just couldn't keep up,

and decided to unplug
the screens for good.

Thank God it's gone.

Although, for one night in 2020,

for '80s night...

They brought Videopolis back
to the site where it used to be.

We are happy to report,
no Gen Xers were harmed

in the gathering.

I don't get out much, due to
the nuclear radiation index.

It's 1.3 million today.

But, when I used to venture out,

I was all about having
a signature scent.

There were a lot of fragrances
on the market.

What if I told you,
there once was a fragrance

that was inspired
by burning rubber,

exhaust fumes and knife fights.

Not wanting to be pigeon-holed
as only a motorcycle company,

Harley-Davidson launched
this baby, called Hot Road.

Let's jump on our hogs

and ride down
Harley-Davidson's Hot Road.

Everybody knows
Harley-Davidson's lifestyle line

runs deep, but in the '90s,

they wanted to see
just how deep they could go.

The legendary Harley-Davidson.

Legendary Harley-Davidson.

[Andre] Who doesn't love
Harley-Davidson?

[Daniel] Harley-Davidson
was founded in 1903,

and is best known
as a motorcycle company.

[Andre]The Milwaukee-based company

didn't waste much time
branching out,

selling their first jacket
in the 1920s,

they continued expanding,
selling anything

they could slap
their patch on.

Jackets and helmets
and t-shirts.

[Andre]And luggage, and coolers,

plates, clocks,
and I guess cologne

isn't sounding so weird,
after all.

Harley-Davidson created
a line of fragrances

in partnership with Loreal,
called Hot Road.

It's called Hot Road.

You know what
a hot road is? Tar.

Have you ever smelled tar?

Can't get it
out of your nostrils

for, like, 47 miles
down 78 turnpike.

It's disgusting.

"Someone's radiator leaking?"

"No, it's my new
Harley-Davidson cologne."

It's called "Eau De Soft Tail."

I also got "Summer in Sturgis"

and "The Girl Fell Off."

[Andre] So, maybe
those aren't real names.

But, the actual colognes
were all too real.

Some of the fragrances
they offered were Destiny Man,

Destiny Woman,
Golden Sun, Black Fire.

And the price points ranged
anywhere from $25 up to $60.

[Andre]Pretty steep for something

that was designed to smell...

Well, I'll let them
describe it.

Ooh, that's pungent.

[April] It smells like motor oil
and domestic abuse.

Makes you feel like, "I need
to be wearing leather."

Eddie Murphy probably
wore this in Raw,

cos when you wear leather,
you need Harley on you.

Yeah, it smells like...

You're gonna go out
for a pack of cigarettes

and never come home.

Harley-Davidson cologne is for
a very specific demographic.

It's for men who are attracted
to 45-year-old

chain smoking divorcees,

who cook a mean hot dog.

I remember my trash-ball uncle
got it for my aunt

and thought it was like
the best Christmas present ever.

I may have stolen it from

one of my aunt Julie's
various boyfriends.

Honestly...

Maybe my aunt bought
this for my uncle,

cos I don't think
this is a female scent.

[Andre] These two
couldn't be talking

about the same aunt,
could they?

Target demographics aside,
the hot-rod company

hit several speed bumps
with consumers.

Oh, my God,
of course it's a twist off.

Even the box, like...

I guess it kind of
looks like leather.

Who at Harley was like, "Yeah!"

This is how you know men...

Men are into it.
It looks like old space.

[echoing]

[Andre]I think she meant Old Spice.

Oh, I like that you just pour
it on yourself.

That's nice. They don't even
give you a spritzer.

Oh, it's one of these
where it doesn't

even have a spray nozzle,
you have to, like, dump.

You have to commit to the bit.

You dip and you tip. Right here.

Now you can go...
[imitates spraying]

You wasting [BLEEP].

This, right here,
could last you five years.

[Andre] At least he found
the silver lining.

But, for everyone else,
they just couldn't get past

the price, the name...

Hot Road. [laughs]

...The smell, or the image,
to save the cologne.

That smells
like Vietnam flashbacks.

[Andre] And, after a few years,
or for this guy,

-two bottles...
-That's five years.

Harley-Davidson
decided to retire

the confused fragrance line.

I don't even know how to say
this, is it "you day toilet"?

I'm not French,
and they aren't either,

so they shouldn't
have put that on there.

[Andre] Don't worry though,
you can still

go visit this musky relic.

The Harley-Davidson failed
perfume

and cologne lines can be found
at the Museum of Failure

in Helsingborg, Sweden.

[Andre] He's not joking,
that's a real place.

Yeah.

[Andre] As for Harley,
their lifestyle brand

is still strong as ever.

I love Harleys, they're sick.

And, if you're looking for
any last minute Christmas gifts

for your aunts... Or uncles,

you might be lucky and find
a bottle or two on Ebay.

I hear they last five years.

-[Bruce] Coming up...
-Saved by the Bell.

...It's excitement guaranteed.

I'm so excited!

I'm so excited!

People often ask me,

"How is it that you look
so darn handsome all the time,

"despite being
in the year 2037?"

Three words, folks.
Moisturize, moisturize, botox.

They also ask me,

what was high school
like for you?

Well, I tell them that
high school was a blast.

I dated this hot girl, Kelly,

although she ended up
hooking up with my friend, AC.

Then my friend, Jessie,
started abusing caffeine pills.

Oh, wait,
that's not my high school,

that's actuallySaved by the Bell.

Nothing can change a mood faster

than hearing that theme song
from your favorite show.

[Discontinued theme plays]

But, for every kid in the '90s,

it was hearing that
iconic school bell

-from the living room TV.
-[school bell rings]

I dare you not to smile.

♪ It's alright ♪

♪ Cos I'm saved
by the bell ♪

Saved by the Bell
was my [BLEEP].

Saved by the Bell is some of
my earliest memories.

That was literally
part of my everyday life.

[Andrea] And he wasn't alone.

Saved by the Bell first aired
in August of 1989 on NBC

and audiences couldn't get
enough of these high schoolers.

[applause]

-You had Zack Morris.
- Time to rock and roll,

- let the party begin.
-And he was just the man,

he was cool.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar
played Zack Morris.

He was charming,
he was a ladies man,

he got into a lot of mischief.

Zack Morris was kind of, like,

a not nice person.

Don't be cruel.

But his hair was amazing.

[Andrea]But, before Zack and the gang

were partying at Bayside,

they were somewhere in Indiana,

on a series called
Good Morning Miss Bliss.

It started out as Zack,
they kept Screech,

they kept Lisa,
then you had Mr Belding,

the Principal who's way too
involved in the students' lives.

Then, those characters carried
over into Saved by the Bell.

It was one of those whacky
'90s transitions,

-they didn't tell you anything.
- Really? I didn't notice.

[Andrea] After 13 episodes,
the producers took a...

-Time out.-...To re-structure the show.

They moved to California,
added three new characters,

and focused more
on friend dynamics,

sparking the age-old
school room debate,

which one are you?

I wanted to be like Zack Morris.

I wanted to be buff
like A.C. Slater.

- Ding Dong.
-Come on, now,

everybody wanted to be Slater,
you know what I mean?

That fool had me doing crunches
after school, like, every day.

Slater had the-- the--
What was that?

-The mullet with the jerry curl.
-[Andrea] Mario Lopez' curls

and signature dimples
had America's youth

in a choke-hold
during the '90s.

Add Screech into the mix,
they were quite the bro-some.

Screech was my guy.
Awkward, but funny.

Do I have to wear
your Aunt Helen's bra again?

He kept hitting on Lisa,
she kept saying no.

Can't wait for you to guess.

-You love me?
-Never.

Lisa Turtle, of course.

Hey... [chuckles] Hey!

Okay, Lisa Turtle.

First, why did they give her
that last name?

She's the only black character,
you give her "Turtle"

-as the last name.
- How could you do that to me?

[Andrea] Clearly,
there was no shortage

of crush-worthy characters.

Kelly Kapowski.

Oh, my God, Kelly Kapowski.

[Andrea] Kelly was added

as the all-American
girl next door.

Kelly, you can DM me,
what's up, girl?

You're embarrassing me.

I feel like that
was every boy's crush

at some point, and then
you grow up a little bit

and you think,
no Jessie was the one.

Jessie, I mean...

[Andrea] Elizabeth Berkley
originally auditioned

to play Kelly,
but the producers decided

to create a character
just for her.

[Jesus] I think I was looking
for Jessie

in every girl
that I dated. [sighs]

-I'm still looking for Jessie.-But, Saved by the Bell

wasn't just crushes
and character flaws.

The series was also
known for dealing with

relatable high school issues.

I do remember Jessie
had a drug problem one time.

Very excited
about the drug problem.

I'm so excited!

She was so excited.

I'm so excited!

"I'm so excited!"
And then, you know,

Zack's shaking her
and then she's so scared.

I'm so... [crying] ...Scared.

[Brian] That's a really
powerful moment,

and as a kid,
you were just like, "Whoa!

"Where can I get coffee pills

"to get a chick
like Jessie Spano?"

[Andrea] And after four years,

the actors grew out of Bayside

and the show was canceled.

But, unlike our other
discontinued items,

everyone wanted more.

So, the network gave us more.

They had Saved by the Bell:
The New Class,

which lasted seven seasons.

And in 2020, Peacock rebootedSaved by the Bell.

We're back!

But, the nostalgia wasn't
enough.

Saved by the Bell
was discontinued, for real.

Looks like the king is dead.

So, in the end,Saved by the Bell

was too much of a good thing,
and after 30 years,

America finally tapped out...

For now, anyways.

Let's recap, shall we?

From the Arch Deluxe burger
that grew up too fast,

to the boogie moves
that were busted

on the Videopolis dance floor,

to Harley-Davidson
assuming their die-hard fans

yearned to smell
like gas, fault.

And bidding adieu
to the realistic daytime drama,

Saved by the Bell.

They all may be
a distant memory,

but we're keeping them alive
by celebrating them today.

I'm Bruce Campbell,
signing off from my bunker.

Until next time, you'll just
have to cry yourself asleep,

and please remember to have
your pet spayed and neutered.

[rock music plays]