All language subtitles for The Real Cancun

Man: People are like,
'What sport do you play?'

l'm just like, 'l do spring break.
l play spring break, ' you know?

They're like,
'What are you training for?'

l'm in the gym like riding the bike
five times a day, you know?

- Woman: What are you training for?
- Spring break.

l don't have to be
'Mr Personality.'

l don't have to go up to girls
and like buy drinks, you know?

'Cause girls go on spring break
to find guys like me.

Man: So what about
this whole nudity thing?

l heard you hate
seeing each other naked.

- Yes, we hate it. She's gross.
- lt's gross.

- Hold hands for me right now.
- No!

Woman:
Did you share a room last night?

- Yeah.
- Separate beds.

We've done that before.
We have sleepovers. Sleepovers!

My parents love me.
lt's never like,

'You should get together
with Heidi,' but it's always like,

'Who's this girl?
Where's Heidi?

Bring Heidi back.
Where did she go?'

Woman: How's your modelling
career going?

Good actually. l did a fashion show
for Joan Collins.

l did some stuff
with 'JAG'--

it's a clothing store
in Singapore.

- Do a pose.
- l guess just-- alright.

- ( woman laughs )
- Don't laugh.

l'm from Brandon,
Wisconsin,

l'm 20,
and l don't go to school.

Man: Alright, and what
do you currently do?

- l'm a waitress.
- You're a waitress?

Yeah. l need to get
out of Brandon.

What is your reputation
in your hometown?

ln one word--
if l would say one word, 'naughty.'

Woman: How do you feel when you're
around people that are drunk?

A lot of times
l feel kind of left out,

because, you know--

because l don't drink.

You don't drink at all?
You don't have a beer or anything?

l've never drank alcohol.
Most times if l'm in a party,

and you know, l kind of feel
that left out feeling,

l'll go and get
like a glass of milk.

The guys that are
willing to like...

do whatever it is

and treat me
like their queen and shit,

those are the ones
l'm pretty much like,

'Eh.' Like, 'You're a great guy,
but for someone else.'

The ones l usually fall for are ones
that have to challenge me

and that l have to sit in the bed
at night questioning,

like, 'Where are they really?
Are they really at home?'

l'm only 20-- 21 years old.
l'm not ready to be married.

l've been married for the past,
like, year-- is what it feels like.

And l don't--
l don't want that.

l just kind of wish we would break up so l
could go and be single.

She has an ex-boyfriend.
l always find it a challenge,

'cause the ex-boyfriend always has
the upper hand against the new guy.

- Man: Right.
- 'Let's see if l can weasel in.'

Okay, l want to let y'all know
that everybody wants to be a star.

He wants to be a star.
l wants to be a star.

Whoever else is here,
they want to be a star.

But there's only going to be
two stars-- me and Paul.

- That's cool.
- Stars.

- Remember the face.
- Remember the face.

- Remember the name.
- Remember the name.

Paul, Jorell.

Cancun, baby!
Who's coming with me?

.* This song is dedicated .*

.* To everybody out there
that's a virgin .*

.* God bless you .*

.* l feel like it's my first time .*

.* l feel like
it's my first time .*

.* You know what l'm saying?
Go like this .*

.* Now this is what
l'm talking about .*

.* l'm stuck inside
but l'm letting it out .*

.* l'm struggling
just to keep my poise .*

.* Then l don't stop screaming
till l lose my voice .*

.* Keep on doing
what l feel the most .*

.* One last hit
and then l'm ghost .*

.* lt's not my fault,
it's how it has to be .*

.* That's how l'm keeping
my chastity .*

.* lf l had it all
l would give it away .*

.* No idea
how l'm living today .*

.* Line by line,
show by show .*

.* l got these ladies
toe to toe .*

.* A couple of drinks
and l'm ready to go .*

.* Ask me again
and l'll still say no .*

.* Don't be hating
on me, baby .*

.* Give me that sweet stuff
all night long .*

.* l feel like
it's my first time .*

.* Feels so good .*

.* l feel like
it's my first time. .*

.* l'm a virgin,
but l'm on the verge... .*

- Jeremy: Now it's shot time.
- l'm a member.

Hell, yeah.

- What's your name?
- l'm Casey.

- l'm Amber. What's up?
- Amber, nice to meet you.

Y'all have boyfriends?
Do you have a girlfriend?

- Boyfriend.
- You have a boyfriend?

l came with a girlfriend, but it's
a rocky situation, trust me.

Okay, my situation
is weird.

Like, he's just like,
'Go and have fun.'

- So it's a booty call?
- He said that?

- Yeah.
- Oh shit.

- That's exact opposite for me.
- 'Go have fun,' as in, 'Have fun,'

or as in like,
'Screw whoever you want to'?

l won't screw
whoever l want to.

Like, l won't,
like, screw everybody--

but-- not everyone.

.* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh .*

.* l'm ain't happy,
l'm feeling glad .*

.* l got sunshine
in a bag .*

.* l'm useless,
but not for long .*

.* The future
is coming on .*

.* l ain't happy,
l'm feeling glad .*

.* l got sunshine
in a bag .*

.* l'm useless,
but not for long .*

.* The future
is coming on .*

.* lt's coming on,
it's coming on... .*

Think l should just tune up
my guitar before l go out?

- Heidi?
- Can l see your room?

- Yeah, come in.
- This is crazy.

- l got to tune this business up.
- Right.

Oh my God!

How can you be sitting?
l can't even sit.

l have to walk around.

Oh my God, you have a kitchen?
l'm coming over here.

l don't think l have a kitchen.

- Casey: Hey!
- Hey, what's up? l'm Roxanne.

- l'm Casey.
- Nice to meet you.

- Are you here by yourself?
- No, l have a twin sister!

- Hi, l'm Nicole. What's going on?
- Not much.

- What's your name?
- Casey.

- Casey.
- We're just all down here partying.

- Cool.
- Let's go.

.* Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh... .*

Where are you from?
You're from Texas?

- What part?
- l'm Jeremy. What's your name?

- Jared?
- Jeremy.

- Jeremy? l'm Alan.
- Alan, nice to meet you, bro'.

- Where at in Texas you from?
- Lubbock.

Lubbock? Okay.
l grew up in Houston.

Houston. Oh, cool.
Where do you go to college?

l live in Miami. l don't go
to college. l'm not in school now.

- You're a freshman where?
- Lubbock, Texas Tech.

- Okay.
- What was your name again?

- Alan.
- Alan, Alan.

Jeremy: Alan.

l think he needs
the introductory shot of tequila.

- You got a drink?
- No, no, that's alright.

- You're not drinking?
- No, l might later on.

l don't want to ruin
my soberness.

- Dave: That's cool.
- Did you know each other before?

- Are you guys a pair?
- Yep.

- Boyfriend-girlfriend?
- No.

- Friends?
- Just buddies.

How many times do you think
you'll have to say that?

- l know, yeah.
- That's cool.

- Woman: Hey!
- Hi.

- l'm Sarah.
- Hi!

Hi, nice
to meet you.

Hi, l'm Laura.

Hey, it's like Christmas
or something, dude!

- Every five minutes.
- Anybody else have a boyfriend?

- Way to talk her into it.
- Oh! Oh, thank you.

- No cheating.
- No.

No way.
Thank God.

- l am so happy.
- Single and faithful.

Jorell: That's not yours
so don't touch that.

l know,
that isn't mine.

But it's some nice shit though,
l'll tell you that much.

- Get out that boy's shit, man!
- 'Okay, Daddy. Okay, Daddy.'

You'd be as hot as a mug if somebody
rummaged through your shit

- and you see it in the movie.
- l ain't no freak, though.

- Damn!
- 'Whose is it? Whose is it?

Whose is it, huh?
Say it, say it.'

- l'm sorry-- Matt?
- Matt.

- l'm Amber, what's up?
- Amber.

- l'm Laura.
- No, this is Lo.

- Call her 'Lo.'
- Lo? Nice to meet you.

Dude, hot dudes, what am l
going to do with all of you?

l don't even know.

- l don't know-- fuck every one?
- No, no.

Jorell: ...toilet. That little
'washing pootie' thing?

Yeah, you know,
like, 'Trick Daddy' says,

'You don't have crumbs
in your arse.'

'Crumbs in your arse.'
Oh, man, this is nice.

Wait, we've got to wait
for Amber.

What's she doing?

First party foul.

- l got you! l got you!
- Don't play, nigga, don't play.

- l got you!
- Don't play, nigga. Don't play!

- Yeah, that's nice.
- Hey, what's over there?

Oh, the 'sex fall.'
That's not even a waterfall.

Oh, look.
And l'm like, 'Hey, hey!

Get up on that arse!
We can go outside!

lt don't make no difference.
You gonna take it like l give it.'

Hey, give me some water, dawg.

And l'm not talking
about this kind.

- Oh.
- l'm talking about the tequila.

l'm a-- l'm a beginner.

l just had my birthday.
l'm 21 now.

Welcome to Cancun.
Exactly. Take a lime.

- Whew!
- Ooh. Ooh--!

- Ooh! Ooh!
- Feel it! Feel it! Feel it!

Too many shots!

Sky: How are you going to segregate
yourselves from us and get drunk?

- You guys did it.
- l'm sorry.

That's not okay.
Can l have a shot with you guys?

- Yeah, you're more than welcome.
- l know.

- You're not drinking anymore?
- We're going to the beach.

- Let's go.
- l'm not getting in the water.

You are the sexiest woman
l've ever seen.

- Yeah, you really are.
- Truly, you are the sexiest, truly.

Thank you. l try, you know.
l'm the 'token black girl.'

You are a tool.

l know, l'm the biggest
dork ever.

- No, l love it, Dave. l love it.
- l'm a dork, señor.

- You're a dork, too?
- Yes.

- High five.
- Can l be a dork with you guys?

- Wow!
- Whoo!

Alright, everyone listen up
real quick. Real quick.

Just listen up-- this will only take
a couple of minutes,

- then we're going to do our thing.
- All l want to know is,

- are we going out tonight?
- Roxanne, they'll explain it.

- Shut up.
- We're from Sun Splash Tours.

We're your tour guides while you're
here in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.

My name is Jay, this is Chris.
We'd like to officially welcome you.

This is your paradise
for the next week.

Listen, you guys,
every night down here--

every night
we have a party

at the best clubs
in Cancun.

Yeah!

Listen, you guys, you don't know.
Listen, you guys, tonight--

we have a party
for you guys at Coco Bongo,

- one of the best clubs in Cancun.
- Yes. Nicole, shut up.

Every day, basically,
there's going to be side excursions,

day trips, you're going to get
everything.

Every day we're going to have
breakfast, lunch and dinner here.

You know, take this all in.
Live the dream.

Anybody want to get
naked with me?

- Are you talking to your boyfriend?
- l am.

Are you?
Tell him l said, 'Whassup?'

- Woman: That's Casey, right?
- That's me, dude.

Y'all want
to get naked or what?

God, l got to take a shower
before l go out, you know?

Somebody give me a gun
so l can shoot myself.

l don't think that's
a good idea, but--

Oh, my God!
That's Brittany?

You look different
from earlier, dude.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- l'm going to jump in with you.
- Alright.

- ( shower running )
- Woman: Hello.

- Hi.
- ( woman chatting )

Hey, you want to get
in the shower with me?

You know what?
l took a shower.

- Look at my hair-- it's all wet.
- Damn.

So none of you girls
want to make out or anything?

- You don't want to make out?
- That is so romantic.

- Why not?
- My God. You're a fucking nut.

- So nice.
- l just want to see some boobies.

No, these are
my clothes, Casey.

- Get up, you're all wet!
- He's-- he--

- You've had too much to drink.
- Casey!

So you're just going
to go to the clubs all week

and not drink anything?

l don't know.

Not anything?
Not even a fucking shot?

Don't you ever feel like sacking up
and taking a fucking shot, you know?

- Not really.
- lt's like a manly thing, you know?

You just take a shot.

l don't know.
l've gone so long without doing it.

You should just do it
and say, 'Fuck it.'

See-- l don't know.
lt's not that big of a deal to me.

So what's your goal for this week?
To come here and--

- l feel like l don't have to drink.
- Like ever?

- Ever.
- Wow.

- l'm like-- 'no pressure.'
- Yeah.

- Whatever happens, happens.
- Yeah, exactly.

Where's the music?

You know, dude,
Alan, dude-- we are gonna--

- Alan is so--
- l told him straight up.

Hey, here's the story
on Alan, dude.

l'm not going to make him drink,
but he's going to drink.

- Oh, dude, he will.
- No, he won't.

- l don't think he will.
- You don't think he will?

- No, l don't think he will.
- Seven days in Cancun...

l'm going to find Alan some girl,
and he's going to drink.

Sky: Wait, he hasn't drunk
since he been here?

- He hasn't drank ever!
- ln his whole life!

- ln his entire life!
- ln his lifetime, dude.

He said, 'One time someone
slipped me a little Malibu.'

Matt: Me and Jaz are like,
'Why are you here?'

Hey, let's put money on it.
l bet l give him his first shot.

- Oh!
- Oh!

.* Dirty dog .*

.* Oh, l'm,
l'm a dirty dog .*

.* Oh, l,
l, l'm a dirty dog .*

.* Dirty dog .*

.* Oh, l'm,
l'm a dirty dog .*

.* Dirty dog .*

- .* l'm an outlaw .*
- .* l'm an outlaw .*

- .* Quick on the draw .*
- .* Quick on the draw .*

.* Something you've never
seen before .*

.* Never seen .*

.* And l dare
a -- to come in my face .*

- .* l've got something chrome .*
- .* l've got something chrome .*

- .* And l got it from home .*
- .* And l got it from home .*

- .* And it ain't a microphone .*
- .* lt ain't a mic .*

.* And l dare
a -- to come in my face .*

.* lt's so real .*

.* lt's how l feel .*

.* lt's this society
that makes the-- want to kill .*

.* l'm just straight ill .*

.* Riding my motorcycle
down the streets .*

.* While politicians .*

.* ls sounding
like strippers to me .*

.* They saying
but l don't want to hear it .*

.* 'Ooh, baby, you want me? .*

.* Ooh, baby, you want me? .*

.* Ooh, baby,
you want me? .*

.* Well, you can get
this lap dance here for free .*

.* Ooh, baby,
you want me? .*

.* Ooh, baby, you want me? .*

.* Ooh, baby,
you want me? .*

.* Well, you can get
this lap dance here for free .*

.* You can get this lap dance
here for free .*

.* Well you can get
this lap dance here for free. ' .*

Aw, shit, naw.

( singing in Spanish )

.* S¡, señor... .*

Matt: Don't get me wrong,
you guys are great.

lt's just really early.

That's good stuff.

l wonder who all hooked up
with who last night?

'Cause l lost track
of a bunch of people.

- Me too. Where do you live?
- You be like, wasted--

ln Wisconsin.

Wisconsin, wow.

- You gonna be like--
- A town of like, 800 people.

No stoplights,
nothing.

- You never been to a club before?
- Not really, no.

- Wow.
- Sky: How was it?

- lt was good. lt was hot.
- Sky: Yeah.

- ( Paul laughs )
- Usually it's not that hot.

- Paul: That was your first time?
- Mmm-hmm.

- You never been to a club, right?
- No.

You're going to be deprived
going back home.

Alright, alright.
Alright.

Yay, welcome
to the game.

- Come on, Vegas.
- What you know about Vegas?

l don't know
too much about Vegas.

lt's like, l've gone
a couple of times, but--

- You've been to Vegas a few times?
- Yeah.

But that was only
when l was a little child.

Well, you know
to holler at your girl.

'Cause l got...
all the hook-ups in that city.

Yeah, 'cause... yeah.

- What?
- That'll work.

lt'd be good
to see you again, too.

How's it going to be
good to see me again

and you're
still seeing me?

Well, you know.

You miss me
already, huh?

Yeah, yeah,
l miss you already.

- Move up!
- Yeah, what up, Casey?!

l don't know.
lt's kind of weird, because...

me and her, we've been best friends
for a couple years now...

and it never evolved
into anything.

But, like, l just kept
thinking that if it did,

it would be something serious,
you know? That can't happen

with her going to California
and me staying in Boston.

What is she going
to California for? School?

She's going
to UC Santa Cruz.

What are you
going to do?

Right. l mean,
we'll still hang out,

but it couldn't be like,
anything serious, you know,

relationship-wise
because l just--

you can't do
that 3000 miles.

So l think-- l think
it's for the best.

- You know, we're just friends.
- Right.

l think both of us are, like, really happy just
being friends.

Don't you ever just want
to get it on, though?

l don't know.

You're like, 'Fuck yeah,
but she won't get under me.'

- Yeah.
- No, no, it's not like that.

That's how
l fucking tried.

.* We need some
positive vibes .*

.* For these rainy days .*

.* Let the sunlight in .*

.* Brighten up your day .*

.* Let the vibes blow
like the ocean breeze .*

.* Mama always told me
there'd be days like these .*

.* Keep your head right,
just do as you please .*

.* Don't ever interfere
with an evil man's schemes .*

.* Keep your heart pure,
conceive your own dreams .*

.* Respect your fellow man,
the earth and the trees... .*

lf l actually have
a girl come on to me,

or say something like--
like last night at the club,

a girl came up, she was like,
'Hey,' and she was pretty hot.

She was like, 'Hey, me
and your friend were just thinking

you were the most gorgeous guy
in this club.' l was like, 'Okay.'

- Jorell: Thanks!
- 'l'll be over here.'

That's my biggest thing.
l can't talk to girls.

Don't feel bad, l've never
been able-- l want to so bad.

- You're so cool about it, like...
- Yeah, yeah!

l'm trying to read
those little subtle hints

- to figure out if they like me...
- You and me both!

l do that for 30 minutes.
Then finally l'm like, 'Okay. '

Then maybe l might
try something.

- Paul: Yeah.
- But until then, l'm just like--

Girls might like me,
but if they don't show it or say it

l won't pursue it.
For the simple fact

that l don't want to get
turned down.

Do you get turned down
a lot? Or at all?

- Yeah.
- Jorell: You lying arse!

He never gets turned down.

You know why?
He always starts as 'friends.'

He never approaches them
as like, 'Let's hook up.'

lt's always, 'Can l call you?'
Then he works it from there.

- Damn.
- You got to show them comfort.

'l'm just here to talk to you,'
you know?

'Come to me.
Talk to me.'

You come off all strong and shit,
they're gonna, like, 'Whoa, back up.

Be easy.'
You know? 'Whoa.'

Give her the 'Joey'
from 'Blossom'--

- 'Whoa!'
- 'Whoa!' Be easy.

l just want to see some boobies.

Announcer: lf you guys came
to Cancun to have a good time,

let me hear you say,
'Fuck, yeah.'

Fuck, yeah!

Alright, we're going to start
this wet T-shirt competition,

so we're gonna need
some hot ladies up here.

What about you?
What about you over there?

Over there! Right here!
Right there!

You! You! You!

Winner gets a trip back
to Cancun, spring break 2004.

Let's pump it up!

You guys want to see
the girls wild?

Jeannie's coming all the way
from Wisconsin. Jeannie!

.* Do that dance,
come on, now .*

.* Pretty lady,
go on do that dance .*

.* Pretty lady, go on
do that dance, come on... .*

- Man: Oh, damn!
- Shit!

.* Sexy mama,
go on do that dance .*

- .* Come on .*
- .* Make it move for me, baby .*

- .* Come on .*
- .* Make it jiggle for me, baby... .*

Announcer: Coming all the way
from New Jersey, Rachel!

.* Pick it up and let's go,
that's right .*

.* l walk though the club
with my Prada on .*

.* Valet to the keys
'cause the car's so strong .*

.* Pretty lady,
go on do that dance .*

.* Pretty lady, go on,
do that dance .*

- .* Come on now .*
- .* Sexy mama, go on do that dance .*

.* Sexy mama,
go on do that dance .*

- .* Come on now .*
- .* Make it move for me, baby .*

- .* Come on .*
- .* Make it jiggle for me, baby .*

.* Take it down
to the floor .*

.* Yeah, pick it up
and let's go .*

.* Let's go, let's go .*

.* Pretty lady,
go on do that dance .*

.* Pretty lady, go on
do that dance .*

.* Let's do it .*

.* Pretty lady,
go on do that dance. .*

What the fuck?

Their parents are gonna
shit in their pants.

Announcer: We got twins from
New Mexico. Make some noise!

.* There's only one place
where we can go .*

.* To see freaky ho's
doing shows .*

.* Doing tricks
to make us holler .*

.* On a given night,
all for a dollar .*

.* Silicone breasts,
oil on their chests .*

.* Nothing like others,
but above the rest .*

.* They'll do anything
to turn us on .*

.* Them ho's got it
going on .*

.* l like big booty
and big ol' titties .*

.* Bitch, you know
you've been fucked by many .*

.* So come and be
my private dancer .*

.* l got some money
if that's the answer .*

.* l really want
to be with you .*

.* l get hard
after seeing you .*

.* How hard?
Hard like a rock .*

.* When you make
that pussy pop! .*

Announcer:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

lf you don't mind,
they can stay like that.

- Do you guys mind?
- No!

Who says they should
stay like that?

How many think we should
put a T-shirt on them?

- No!
- Stay like that?

- Yeah!
- T-shirt.

- No!
- Stay like that?

- Yeah!
- The crowd has spoken.

.* Yes, sir, Slip and Slide
Records, get down .*

- Casey: Yeah!
- .* Gonna take it to the house... .*

What's up!

.* We gonna rock it,
get down .*

.* Calling my peoples
all across the world... .*

Peace!

.* ...all the boys
and girls... .*

Show us your tits.
Hooters.

l want hooters!

Fuck!

.* Slip and slide,
get loose .*

.* More punch
than a bowl of juice .*

.* And ain't nobody
more jiggy than us .*

.* Stuff so rough it causes
head rush like we do .*

.* That's gonna make you
get up out your seat... .*

So any girls here want
to make out or something?

- Hot damn.
- Hot damn.

.* Yo, baby,
take it to the house .*

.* M.l.A.,
take it to the house .*

.* This the way
we take it to the house. .*

Man:
Casey!

Man:
Casey!

( whistling )

- Don't do it.
- You go ahead and do it.

You don't want to see
these things wasted.

l'm so excited.

l'm so excited.

- l'm going upstairs.
- Casey: Go, baby.

Here l go!

( cheering )

Three, two, one!

Bungee!

( electricity crackling )

Sarah: A jellyfish
fucking stung me!

- lt really, really hurts.
- lt's only on your...?

- Matt: lt's right here.
- That's just it.

Pee.
Your own pee.

l have to pee on it?
l don't have to pee though.

Maybe...

borrow, and then...

Pour pee on it?
l have to pour pee on my--

my own pee on my leg?

- Her own pee or our pee?
- Can they pee in it?

Go pee in something.
Go take a pee in something.

l cannot believe
l'm doing this.

Dave:
Look at that backdrop.

Alright.

Don't pee in the cup.
Just pee on the leg.

- Let me see your leg.
- Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Matt: Look at all this piss!
- Yes!

- You want some piss?
- Here we go, here we go.

- Alright, it's mine.
- Pour it on my baby.

That's sick.
Get that shit away.

- Oh my God.
- Alright, look the other way.

- God, he's putting pee on my leg.
- Move your foot.

- Oh, that's disgusting!
- Casey: l know, dude.

There's a deal, though.

The way l get paid is like,
that l stay in school.

You don't work?

- l work-- right now.
- You're a princess. l'm not.

l work my arse off.

Truth is coming out, huh?

Let me guess--
Mum and Dad pay rent, too.

- Yup.
- Oh, you're fucking spoiled!

- l'm not spoiled.
- Bullshit.

l'm a little spoiled.

lf l said, 'Dad, pay my
car payment, pay my rent,'

he'd be like, 'l love you,
but not that much.

You're 21 years old.
Pay your own shit.'

Hey, man.

You don't pay credit card bills
then either, l take it?

No. Till then l'm rocking
the 'A's' and everything else.

That's some bullshit.
You're so fucking spoiled.

l made sure college was paid.
My dad didn't-- l got a scholarship.

- Worked my arse off for it.
- l'm not school-oriented.

l'm just not into school.
Like, l'm into other things.

- Like what?
- Shop.

Oh my God.
You said, 'shop'?

Yeah, dude.
l give all my stuff to my mum.

- You're a-- one of those.
- 'Pretty boy'?

You're a pretty boy. 'Can l say
that without pissing him off?'

- A 'mama's boy'?
- You are such a mama's boy.

- Oh-hh.
- l love my mum.

That's her name,

that's the hotel number
that she's staying at,

that's the hotel--
Oasis Hotel.

She wrote all that
on my hand.

- Meredith.
- Yeah, you need to call her back.

She wouldn't have went through
that for no reason. Seriously.

- Hello? Meredith?
- Hmm?

Woman:
No, hold on.

( Woman #2 giggling )
Hello?

ls there
a Meredith there?

( clicks, dial tone )

- Yeah, we're striking out.
- You got it.

We're one yard
from the touchdown,

and we're pulling
a 'Tennessee Titans.'

The one number l got, l called,
and she hung up on me.

We're pulling a 'Sacramento Kings'--
what did you say?

The one number l got, l called,
and she hung up on me.

- 'Alan?'
- l'm serious.

Matt: You don't admit that shit.
You just like let it go.

lt's like, 'Yeah, this is Alan.
Hello? Hello? Hello?'

They're like, 'cha-chick. '

- Let's go-oo!
- Let's go!

Yay, these guys,
are so sexy.

- You're so sexy.
- Ow!

Jay! Jay, will you ask me
on a date?

- Can we go on a date on Tuesday?
- Sure.

- Can we go swim with dolphins?
- We have a date.

We have a date.
l found my date.

l found my date.
l just got asked.

- Who's your date?
- Matt.

l had to ask my date.
That's kind of sad.

- That's sexy.
- Roxanne, rephrase that.

l like when girls
do that.

.* Here's to the good life,
or so they say .*

.* All those parties and games
that all those people play .*

.* They tell me
this is the place to be .*

.* All these beautiful people .*

.* And nothing to see... .*

Maybe it doesn't breathe.

Look, it is alive. Motherfucker,
l'm like, 'lt's dead.'

.* Something is wrong here,
l don't belong here .*

.* Sometimes l feel
like a stranger in town .*

.* And l've lost
what l've found .*

.* lt'll all turn around .*

.* ln a little while l'll be
thinking about you .*

.* ln a little while
l'll still be here without you .*

.* You never gave me a reason
to doubt you... .*

Go, go.
Go fast.

There's another one,
look! Ah!

.* Baby, l'll be thinking
about you... .*

Go fast, go fast!
Whoa, hey! Oh no, whoa,

whoa, you're going--
God damn, shit!

Yo, my horse is fucked up
or something.

l caught you a couple times
looking at me,

and l'll be like,
in some secluded corner.

- l know, l'm like--
- But you've seem to caught me.

Don't even try.
You be watching me.

- And l know you be watching me.
- l know, l'll be like...

- Suit yourself.
- No, no, l'm gonna be honest.

l'll catch you. l'll catch you.
l'll try to, you know...

lt's all good. Nothing wrong
with observing. l'm very observant.

Yeah.
You be watching me?

lf you're in my view.

Alan:
l hate the games.

Like, when they tell you,
'lf you want a girl to like you,

then just blow her off.'

You know, 'cause girls--
'People like what they can't have.'

That's bullshit,
you know?

lf l like a girl,
l'm not going to blow her off.

lf l like a girl l'd want to spend
more time with her,

but l'm not saying it would be
all about the physical aspect of it,

but l just hate everything
you have to go through.

l wish people were a lot
simpler than they are, you know?

Wish you didn't have to be
a psychiatrist to get a girlfriend.

ls it true that guys
like head better than sex?

Sex is like kind
of guaranteed always.

Getting head is not a guarantee,
you know what l'm saying?

There's no good way to ask--
like, 'You want some head?'

'Since you're down
in the vicinity...

- l was wondering if maybe...
- 'You want to 'bob my knob'?'

...by chance
you can swallow--?'

l can't bring myself to do it.

- Why not?
- l can't.

Honestly, like, my face
can't even be in the vicinity.

l'll be play fighting
with my boys and l'll be like,

'My face! My face!
Pick me up, God damn it!'

And Paul's, like,
really trying hard with Sky.

Oh, really?

Yeah, but Sky
likes fucking Jeremy.

- Sky likes Jeremy?
- Sky likes Jeremy.

Laura: Why, do you take
your girlfriend out a lot?

Yup.

She'd probably rather go out
more than l take her out, but...

- She's gonna be mad at you.
- Oh yeah, like you don't even know.

l think you're gonna be
single after this.

l'm positive.

Laura: Are you gonna
tell her anything?

l haven't-- l'm trying
not to think about it, seriously.

l'd rather just be here.
lt's like, my fucking vacation.

We're both
so out of it.

They're really sensitive
on their beaks, so when they--

when you touch 'em,
they like it.

lt's like scratching
someone's back.

Matt: Look, it's 'Ace Ventura,
Pet Detective. '

Kisses.

Matt: He tried to hook you
on the lip.

Matt: Dude, the bird gets
more action than l do.

l'm so picky
when it comes to guys.

l figured this'd
be a challenge.

.* Am l the only one
that hears .*

.* The tears run down
my face? .*

.* Would anybody
recognise at all? .*

.* 'Cause l know .*

.* l'm so slow .*

.* But l'm trying .*

.* And l'm still
dying to know .*

.* Say you won't leave
for the rest of my... .*

.* l can't have you leave
for the rest of my... .*

.* Say you won't leave
for the rest of my life. .*

Do you have a crush
on anyone?

l'm not vibing
with anyone, really.

Do you want to get a piece
of arse while you're here, though?

Well, l've never had casual sex
and l never will, ever.

Not meaning sex.
You don't have to have sex.

- Make out with someone?
- Yeah, like just play.

Yeah, for sure,
but l don't like anyone like that,

'cause l don't-- l know.
Who do you have it with?

Jaz?

Jaz?

Yeah. But he's so nice
and cute and everything,

but if l could dress him
the way l want to dress him,

then he'd be even cuter.

l feel like everybody seems to have
their little clique or something.

You and me both, dude.
l hang out with Sky and Paul but...

- everybody's starting to pair up.
- Yeah, exactly.

l'm not worried.
lt's not like l'm jealous.

lt's just like,
you walk around

and you don't want
to just interrupt two people

that are chilling
and doing their thing.

You don't want to just
join the conversation.

lt's like, 'You're annoying,
motherfucker, get away from me.'

This is what kind of kicks it
together, as far as female-male.

You got Paul and Sky.

- You got Sarah and Matt.
- Yeah.

You got Laura and Jeremy.

l keep feeling like--
like l'm holding myself back.

Don't worry about not being
paired up, dude.

l so wish l could just
completely fuck everything

and do whatever l want
and not seem like a jackass.

Truly, what l really want
right now,

is l want a girl
to have a crush on me.

l don't want to have to try.
l want a girl to come up to me.

- l feel you, 100°/.. Who doesn't?
- l know.

lt's okay to want that, but don't
get mad 'cause it's not happening.

- l know.
- You feel me?

- Yeah.
- No girl has a crush on me.

- l'm not sweating it. Like, 'Okay. '
- Yeah.

Don't worry about it, dude.
Seriously, don't let it get to you.

Casey: Honest to God, do y'all think
there's any virgins here?

- l'm a virgin.
- l'm a virgin.

- Are you really?
- Are you a virgin?

- Oh my God.
- l called it! l called it!

Shut the fuck up!

- l called it!
- No fucking way!

What the hell are you guys
talking about?

High five, Dave.
l admire the virgins.

- Dave, are you a virgin?
- Yep.

- You're a virgin?
- l called that shit!

- By choice, by choice.
- Are you a virgin? You're not.

- Only with one, though.
- Only with one guy?

So we have virgin, virgin, slut, no.

Why haven't you two guys
hooked up?

Yeah, you guys
should have sex.

- Honest to God, why aren't you?
- You guys would be money!

Casey: You've always been friends?
That's it?

Could it ever be
anything more?

l mean, honestly, could it ever
be anything more?

You guys are shy.
You can't even look at each other.

- You are shy with each other.
- We're never shy.

- We're not shy.
- We're not shy about each other.

Me and Heidi, no.
lf anything, me and Heidi--

there's nothing you can do
to embarrass me and Heidi.

- Alright, let's see you kiss.
- Oh my God.

Stop it.
You're so stupid.

- l am not.
- Someone's horny, yup.

- This is how you love it.
- lt only takes two days.

Speaking of that, l heard
you took a shower with the twins.

l took a shower
with one of them.

- There was no fucking hot water.
- l heard twins.

No, no.
lt was just one.

- Who, Nicole?
- Yeah.

l hear she can't stop
talking about your dick.

- She's lying.
- That's what Nicole said.

Well, l'm the only person
that hasn't heard.

Maybe you should ask her.

Nicole said you have
the biggest dick she's ever seen.

See, it's not long,
but it's got width.

So, you know,
it's kind of thick.

l don't want to know
about your dick.

- lt's thick, l got that motion--
- Ugh, shut up!

l got that 'motion in the ocean,'
you know what l'm saying?

What kind of dicks you like?
You like them short?

- What the fuck?
- What?

What kind of questions
are you asking me?

So if a short-dick dude
came at you--

you found out
he had a short dick,

would you still go ahead
and get active with him?

Come on, now.
Tongue-tied? Come on.

Well, if you have
a little dick,

my favourite position
is with another motherfucker.

- Oh.
- l'm sorry.

Ow, just hit my knee.

- Thanks.
- Good.

You can't even do it.

This is underwater.

Yeah, you like spit in my face
when l hit my knee.

.* l saw you sliding
out the bar .*

.* l saw you slipping out
the back door, baby .*

.* Don't even try
to find a line this time .*

.* lt's fine, darling
you're still divine .*

.* You don't love me at all .*

.* But don't think
that it bothers me at all .*

.* You're a bad-hearted boy trap,
baby doll .*

.* But you're so damn hard .*

.* Yeah, you're so damn hard. .*

Oh God.

Dave: Whenever l write my own songs
l'm very protective of it.

Some people are like,
'Let's put a drum solo in it,'

l'm like, 'No. lt needs
to be this way. Waah. '

Let's do a body shot!

Alright, suck that up.
Suck it up.

( people cheering )

No, no, no, no.

He officially
did that wrong.

- How'd l do it wrong?
- Lime in her mouth.

Lime in her mouth?
My bad.

- Hey, you're the expert, man.
- l'm sorry.

Alright, go, go.
Suck it up. Suck it up.

Take the lime
out of her mouth.

Yeah!

That was awesome.

- That was manly right there.
- That was my first body shot.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So you wouldn't have
a shot with me?

- Huh?
- No?

- l don't know.
- What about--

You wouldn't
just have one?

Alan, Alan, Alan...

You're doing it.

- l'll do one.
- Yeah, Alan!

- Oh shit! Oh shit!
- Here we go.

Take your lime,
get a little juice on your hand.

- Sky, you're losing the bet, baby.
- Y'all ready?

To Alan. To Alan,
the man of the hour.

Cheers.
Lick. Lick.

Shoot.

Yeah, baby.
l'm proud of you.

- Water?
- Fantastic.

- Oh my God.
- You know what l deserve?

- Some boobies.
- Some what?

Boobies?

l want some titties!

Lick her.
Lick her right there.

Lick her right there.
Watch out.

- Where?
- Right here.

- Like right there.
- Okay.

Just lick.
Just lick.

l'm the good kid.

- Don't worry about it.
- There's no salt.

You got to lick it first.

- Put a little salt right there.
- This'll look good.

- You don't mind, do you?
- So?

Alright.
Now stick that lime in her mouth.

Stick that lime in her mouth.
There you go.

- lt's all you now.
- Everybody do shots together.

Here, hand me that shot
over there.

- l'm still the good kid, right?
- Yes you are, of course.

You are here
to be corrupted, young 'un.

- Alright, everybody, salud.
- Salud.

- So l lick that, drink this.
- Yeah, you lick that.

- Lick, drink, bite.
- Okay.

- On three.
- This is the Texas way, right here.

One, two, three.

Wow! Get it.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

( cheering )

Son of a bitch!

.* Raise your hand .*

.* Raise your hand... .*

- ( phone ringing )
- Woman: Hello?

- Heidi: Hey, Mum. Hi.
- Oh my gosh. Hi.

Last night we went clubbing
and that was so much fun.

- We go clubbing every night.
- You do every night?

Last night there was one
with a hot tub in it

and we all got in
the hot tub

and got totally just soaking wet
in all of our clothes.

Mum: l mean, my gosh.
The things you're doing.

- Who would need any alcohol?
- Heidi: lt's just crazy.

Take your stand.
Hold to who you are.

lt's really important to keep it
right to the end.

Heidi: l'm the only one,
so it's difficult.

Mum: Good if you're the only one.
You can represent another choice.

- Represent.
- Your call will be disconnected.

l have to go, okay?

Hello?

Yeah, yeah.

He pushed me in.
No, no, no. l'm already wet.

.* Mr Boombastic .*

.* What you want is some boombastic,
romantic, fantastic lover .*

.* Shaggy .*

.* Mr Lover-Lover .*

.* Mr Lover-Lover .*

.* Girl, Mr Lover-Lover .*

- .* Mr Lover-Lover .*
- Man: Oh, not the hair!

.* She calls me 'Mr Boombastic, '
say me fantastic .*

- Get her, P!
- .* Touch me on me back .*

.* She says l'm Mr Ro... mantic,
call me fantastic .*

.* Touch me on me back ,
she says l'm Mr Ro-- .*

.* Smooth, just like silk .*

.* Soft and cuddly
hug me up like a quilt .*

.* l'm a lyrical lover,
no take me for no filth .*

.* With my sexual physique
you know me well built .*

.* Oh me, oh my,
well, well, can't you tell? .*

.* l'm just like a turtle
crawling out of me shell .*

- .* Girl, you captivate my body-- .*
- ( record scratching effect )

What happened?

Got a sensual kiss
in the pool over there.

And she just bailed out
on you?

She bailed out on me.
What the fuck?

Girl can't give
it up, nigga!

Sarah, Amber and Matt
yesterday were sitting around

trying to figure out who was
gonna hook up with who in the house.

- Yeah?
- Sarah was like, 'l think, Jeremy.'

So what do you think?

That's for me to know
and you to find out.

l guess, huh?
You are hard to figure out.

l'm so good at figuring people out,
you know? l'm a bartender--

l read people all day,
you know? You're different.

- Different is a good thing.
- lt definitely is.

- Sky: What's your sign?
- Virgo.

Get out of here.
Are you serious?

'Whut'?
Yeah, l'm a Virgo.

l don't know why l find myself
attracted to Virgo men.

- You guys suck.
- That's the answer, huh?

What? Oh-- l did just
think out loud, didn't l?

That Jeremy guy,
l don't know him at all.

Some girl was calling him out
on his bullshit. lt was funny.

She goes, 'ls that hat
Burberry?' He goes--

His response is, 'Yes,
and my sunglasses are Gucci.'

She told me that
and l started laughing so hard.

Please don't
tell me that.

How's shit going
with you guys?

Whatever. He's hot.
You know, like normal.

Like, he goes and flirts
with other chicks.

To make you jealous
or to flirt with them?

Probably not
to make me jealous.

l don't really think he gives
that much of a shit about me.

But, you know,
l mean, maybe.

That could look mean.

This all could
just look mean tonight.

Maybe l should wear a cool
getup since l'm refreshed.

'Refreshed'?
l think l'm gonna go jeans.

Dawg, where should l
throw my 'bandeezy' on,

my fucking arm
or my head?

What are these?

- She creased my jeans.
- What the fuck is that?

Paul: You're never gonna meet
these girls again, so don't be shy.

Just be like, 'Look, you want
to come back to a phat-ass crib?'

l don't think l can say
'phat-ass crib'

- and be taken seriously.
- Just be like--

'Phat-ass crib'? 'Yo, bitch,
welcome to our phat-ass crib.

Meet my dawg
Paul and Jorell. '

She'll be like,
'He's a thug.'

Alan:
She'll start laughing--

Paul: She'll be like, 'Damn,
he's fucking hard. '

Everybody's down here
for the same reason.

Yeah, everyone's
down here to meet people.

Paul: When you see them that first time and
thought they was hot,

then you see them up at 'V.l.P.'
like, 'Can l get in please?

Bless me, please?
Please bless me.'

Take her like,
'Are you down?

Like, 'Can you ride?'
You know what l'm saying?

'Are you down for this shit?
Are you down? Let me know.'

Well, that's all
l want to do.

l just want a girl who's right there
so l can butt fuck them.

Not really 'butt fuck, '
but 'butt fuck-dance fuck.'

You don't got to explain.
We know what you're saying.

He's like, 'Wait, wait.
Let me clean that up.'

Paul: We know what the fuck
you're trying to say, dawg.

.* l was like, 'Good gracious,
ass is bodacious' .*

.* Flirtatious,
trying to show patience .*

.* l'm looking for the right time
to shoot my steez, you know .*

.* Looking for the right time
to flash them keys .*

.* lt's getting hot
in here .*

.* So take off
all your clothes .*

.* l am getting so hot .*

.* l want to take
my clothes off.*

.* lt's getting hot
in here .*

.* So take off
all your clothes .*

.* l am getting so hot .*

.* l want to take
my clothes off.*

.* Why you at the bar
if you ain't poppin' the bottles? .*

.* What good is all the fame
if you ain't -- the models? .*

.* l see you drivin' sports cars,
ain't hittin' the throttle .*

.* And l'll be down
to do 100... .*

Casey making out
with a girl's cooter.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

.* ...Ashtray, flip gate,
time to spark it .*

.* Gucci collar for dollar,
got out and walked it... .*

- ls that me?
- Yeah.

Oh fantastic.

lt might be the alcohol talking,
but you're hot.

What's that?

- You are hot.
- Thank you.

.* l got secrets,
can't leave Cancun-- .*

.* So take it off
like you're home alone .*

.* You know, dance in front of the mirror
while you're on the phone .*

.* Checkin' your reflection
and tellin' your best friend .*

.* Like, 'Girl, l think
my butt gettin' big' .*

- .* lt's getting hot in here .*
- .* So hot .*

.* So take off
all your clothes... .*

l want to put my feet
kind of in the water.

- Like sit on the edge.
- Want to get stung again?

- l don't want to get stung again.
- Alright.

My voice is kind of like,
easily coming back now.

l want to get
this stupid tattoo off me.

Why'd you do that?

l didn't mean--
the guy's like, 'Come here'--

Every time some guy says,
'Come here,' you do it?

l didn't even pay attention.
l was like, 'Okay.'

- God.
- Oh, look at your fucking attitude.

lf l was your boyfriend and some
guy was like, 'Come here,'

l'd be like, 'What are you--?'
l got to meet your boyfriend.

- He's a sweetie.
- l need to talk to that guy--

He's in Vegas right now.
He's a good guy.

'Dude-- you have a great girl.
Like, if you don't--

if you don't treat her right,
l'm going to date your girl.'

How can
you seriously...?

Girl: Oh, 'Mandingo'!
l'm just kidding.

Give me a hug.

l thought he like
found some girl.

l saw him talking to some girl,
l was like 'Oh, it's a skank ho.'

Alan:
Sky's sad?

No, Sky's fine.
Sky's doing great.

Matt: Oh, yes!
Yes, yes, yes!

Solid, buddy.
Hi, beautiful. l'm Matt.

Shit.

- Huh?
- At least the twins aren't in here.

We'll change--
we'll change together.

- Hi.
- What's up?

Why are we
all in here?

Why do you look at him?
You got to ask him for advice?

No.
Hell no.

We need music.
lt's essential.

l need music.

Why are you so quiet?

Are you going
to pass out soon, or what?

Are you still excited
for our date?

lt'll be rad.

Matt:
Laura, come here.

Totally fun.
What?

Sorry...

Yo, give me one!
Give me one.

Give me one.
Take one for the team!

l've got one
in my backpack.

Okay, cool, cool.
Cool, cool.

l'm going to do her on the beach.
l've never did a girl on the beach.

You are so fucking
lucky today, dude.

You are so lucky today.
l only had like two left.

Let me put this away
before she comes in,

like, 'What, you think,
you're going to get lucky?'

This is so
fucked up.

This'll be interesting--
you taking off your socks.

- Let's film that one.
- l want to take off my pants.

Oh, man.

Yeah. Oh!

Whoo!

Hey, party pooper,
what you doing?

How much have you had
to drink, my friend?

- What's your name again?
- Natalie.

Come swim down there.

We're wearing clothes.
lt's okay.

lt's not naked.
lt's not anything more.

- lt's okay.
- No, l think l'm good.

- Sorry, 'Too Cool.'
- No, l'm not too cool...

l'm just too... drunk.

- Too what?
- Drunk.

Too drunk?

You can't be too drunk.
Not possible.

- But l am, Natalie.
- Not a saying. lt's not a word.

No such thing
as 'too drunk.'

Natalie,
nice meeting you,

but l'm going
upstairs in my room.

Alright, well,
l don't think so.

Looks like you're going
in the ocean. Come on!

No, it's not
going to work.

- l said no.
- Uh-huh.

Jen!

l'm going to bed.

No!

- Natalie, l'll pay you money.
- Good, give me the money.

Let's go.

l just-- l don't know if Matt and l
will end up kissing.

Sometimes l feel
like l want to.

When you're used to sex three
times a day and not getting any,

you're like, 'l will
fucking hump anything.'

You're like,
'Give me a pole, baby.'

- You're like, 'Look at this rail.'
- 'Look at this railing.'

But, l'm so sick
of people being like,

You guys hook up yet?
When are you going to hook up?'

l'm like,
'We have not hooked up.'

That's 'cause everybody thinks
you'll make a cute couple.

We're just really good friends.
We have so much to talk about

because of Arizona--
we go to the same school.

And, yeah, he's gorgeous.
l'm not going to lie.

But at the same time,
like...

l don't know. l can't.
l'm not going to do that.

Oh, God.

You gonna sleep
on that bed tonight?

'Will you get out of here?
l need to bone Sarah.'

Not going to happen.

l'll need a ring, a date,
a place and time.

That chick you brought home--
was she in the titty contest?

- Yeah.
- Was that the girl?

- Was she the one that won it?
- Yeah.

Oh, nice. Damn.

l like the classy ones.

l love her.

You said Laura
saw you last night?

Wait, you and Laura
have a thing going on?

ls she kind of jealous of you 'cause you're
hooking up with--

She doesn't say
anything to me.

l swear l'll give you 50 bucks
if you hook up with Laura again.

- 50 bucks?! Do it.
- 50 bucks to hook up with Laura.

l'm so good at lying
l could be like,

'Let's just spend
the last night together.'

Want me to bury you
in sand?

l'm mad at you.
Don't talk to me.

- Why don't you talk about it?
- What?

'Cause you're phony.

l don't see how you do it.
l thought you were different.

- That's all.
- l mean--

l didn't think you were the 'pick-up
-a-chick-at-a-club-and-fuck-'em.'

l just think it's gross.
l think it's fucking disgusting.

'Cause you don't know what--
we don't know what she carrying.

You can go off,
but you don't know shit about her.

Baby, that's why
l wear protection.

l just got a different
impression about you.

- That's cool.
- So...

That's cool, but don't
be like snobby and shit.

- l can do what l want.
- Then it's like, okay.

- l can do what l want.
- Yeah, 'cause it's like--

l could ignore you the rest
of the trip if that's what l feel.

lt's like this. The average guy
that say they like me,

they just going to keep trying.
They will be persistent.

You gave the fuck up.
You said, 'l quit.

Sky doesn't want me,
let me find somebody else.'

Sky, l can't be with you
for four days!

l do play hard to get.

lt's people that stick into it
long enough for the chase.

l asked you that shit.
l was like--

l'm not going to tell you everything. Trust
me that.

- But see--
- l'm a fucking mystery.

You're not going to know everything.
lt's your job to find out.

But, you gave up.

You said, 'Fuck it, l quit.
l don't know where this is going.

- l'm getting mixed signals.'
- And l asked you!

What did l just tell you?
l'm not going to tell everything.

l'm not with the game, Sky.
l'm not with it.

That's cool. Like l said,
l got a misunderstanding of you.

But--

l don't know.
l might be looking too deep into it.

- Can l ask you a question, though?
- What?

Had he pursued you
for the whole trip

where would it
have got him, honestly?

Alright,
l don't know.

Dave: You have to back me up
on the chorus.

- l love every song.
- Are you ready for the '80s song?

- Yes.
- Okay.

.* There was a time
in our lives .*

.* That l know
we all miss .*

.* A time when girls
would slap .*

.* Snap bracelets
upon their wrists .*

.* We'd listen to tapes
because we didn't have CDs .*

.* And the guys
would fantasize .*

.* About Ally Sheedy .*

.* Life was simpler then .*

.* With Michael Jackson .*

.* And the Jackson 5... .*

l love that.

.* And we'd meet at the pub
to watch 'The Breakfast Club' .*

.* And we'd feel alive .*

.* Back in the '80s .*

.* When all the gentlemen
and ladies lived life-- .*

.* Lived life how it was .*

.* Meant to be .*

.* Watching
'Three's Company' on TV .*

.* And wouldn't you agree
to sell your soul .*

.* To live back in 1983? .*

.* Back in the best decade .*

.* ln history. .*

Yes!
Dude, you're my hero.

Does it kind of suck?
You don't have to answer--

but does it kind of suck being
the only one that's not drinking?

lt does suck, because,
you know, like,

l feel like there's
this big wall--

like the drinkers
and then there's me.

And literally it will be like
everyone around a table

drinking a margarita
or shots or whatever

and then there's me
sitting there going like 'Yeah.'

- Do you want me to stop? l'll stop.
- No!

No, no, no. lt's not that bad,
seriously. No, no, no, no.

- l'm so glad you're here, too.
- Same.

- lt makes all the difference.
- Truth.

Truth!

Heidi: Do you know how it is
after you break up with someone?

You're just in a weird place.
Especially after a year and a half.

My first heartbreak was my boyfriend
cheated on me with my best friend.

l was destroyed.
Not only had l lost my boyfriend,

but l lost my best friend.
And so-- talk about depression--

l was there
at the same time exactly.

Yeah, honestly,
l have never ever

experienced something
that intense.

- Yeah.
- ln my entire life.

l really wish-- like people
used to ask me before--

you know, 'Wow, so have you
ever been in love?'

because l'm the kind of guy
that would love someone.

And l'd have to say no, because
l've never had that opportunity.

- l thought l had two choices.
- Yeah.

l could either continue
having relationships

and just like--
just have relationships

purely for the physical
aspect of it...

- Yeah.
- and never open my heart up--

you know,
anything like that.

This is-- every decision
l make is exactly my own--

l'm not living my life the way
that l would like to live it,

but... l mean, l--

l'll probably go through life
miserable, you know?

No emotion-- l mean,
no attachment, yeah.

So, in order to be happy

l have to open myself up
to the opportunity

that l might
one day be sad.

The only way you're
ever going to succeed

or eventually be happy
is if you take a risk.

Exactly.

l mean, if you
go through life

not-- trying
to protect yourself

and be defensive against
anything that will hurt you,

then you live a boring
sheltered life--

Yeah,
you're not living.

Girl: Alan, are you
quite the ladies' man?

- l'm the anti-ladies' man.
- No, you are the ladies man.

We talked about that
last night.

That the girls love you--
that you just need to--

improve your--

- Confidence?
- Exactly.

l was thinking about it
'cause l was talking to Matt...

- Um-hmm.
- ...he was like, 'Girls like guys

with the biggest balls. '

The first girl l go up to
l'm going to try and just like--

be as confident
as possible

and l'll say,
'What's up?'

Man: Let's get
this party started!

Whoo-oo!

Look at Case, that kid
never stops partying.

The kid's going to die
before he stops partying.

Whoo!

Hey, you guys,
l'm recruiting females for you.

Are you guys ready
to have some fun, or what?

- Yeah.
- Are you guys sisters?

- Are you guys friends?
- Do we look like fucking sisters?

l don't know, man.
l want to kiss her.

You want to make out?
You want to make out?

God, someone get my name right!
l am Roxanne, not Nicole!

Are you ready
for a shot?

- l don't-- l don't know.
- Yeah.

Diet Pepsi and about
to do a body shot!

Welcome to the world
of drinking, my friend.

Down there. Down there.
You got some. Yeah!

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

Fuck!

Diet Pepsi
in the house!

What's your name?

l'm Erica.

Alan in the house.

- One more shot.
- Yeah!

l'm not drunk.

You're not drunk?
You can't open your fucking eyes.

You need to slow down!

- You'll party with me, right?
- Definitely.

- l will party with you tonight.
- Then fucking seal that on a kiss.

You've got to seal it
on a kiss.

You won't make out
with me, why's that?

l can't just make out
with someone.

- You know me now, though.
- No-- yeah, l know you--

We're here.
We're here.

Me and you,
we're here.

You know me,
l know you.

l got hair
on my finger.

Cancun! Cancun!
Cancun! Cancun! Cancun!

Chris: Alright, listen up.
This is what we're going to do.

We need the contestants
for the 'Hot Body' contest here now!

The prize is $150
for the guy that wins.

Alan: Are you kidding?
l don't want to do this.

Yo! Yo! We got the first one
coming out right now!

Everybody-- Casey!

( cheering )

This isn't fair, man.

Everybody,
give it up for Matt!

Show us
what you got! Oh!

Nigel!

Next is Jaz.
Jaz, show us what you got!

Last, but certainly
not least...

Alan!

.* One, two, three, four .*

- .* Get up .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Get up .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Stay on the scene .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Like a sex machine .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Get up .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Get up .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Stay on the scene .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Like a sex machine .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Get up .*
- .* Get on up .*

- .* Stay on the scene .*
- .* Get on up .*

.* Can we hit it
like we did one more time? .*

Take it off!
Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off!
Take it off!

Take it off! Take it off!

Take it off!
Take it off!

Jay: Alright, we need
to figure out

who's got the hot body
out of all these guys.

We win
by crowd approval,

so we want to hear
who you want to win.

We have
contestant number one.

Contestant number two.

Contestant number three.

Contestant
number four!

Contestant
number five!

Contestant
number six.

Alan! Alan! Alan!

Show these guys
who lives here, dude.

l live here, fuckos.

Hello,
my name's Alan.

Yes. Yes.

Alan, hey!
Baby, jump.

Don't do it.
Don't do it.

( whistle blows )

.* Just a urchin
living under the street .*

.* l'm a hard case
that's tough to beat .*

.* l'm your charity case,
buy me something to eat .*

.* l'll pay you
at another time .*

.* Take it to the end
of the line .*

.* Take me down
to the Paradise City .*

.* Where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty .*

.* Oh, won't you please
take me home? .*

.* Yeah, yeah... .*

l have a question
to ask you.

Don't talk like this.

You want to go out
on a date?

l love this kid.
l love this kid.

.* Take me down
to the Paradise City .*

.* Where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty .*

.* Take me home .*

.* Yeah, yeah .*

.* Take me down
to the Paradise City .*

.* Where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty .*

.* Oh won't you please
take me home? .*

- This is crazy.
- Give me a hit off that cig, man.

Cancun!

Man: We saw you
making out with her.

We see it all.

l might have maybe gave her
a peck on the check.

That's bullshit.

Man #2:
A 'peck'-- yeah.

No, you did, dawg.

Don't corrupt him.
Look at him.

Alan's fucked.
You are so drunk.

- l am not drunk.
- You love it, too.

'Sally sells seashells
by the seashore.' See?

Jorell:
Wow, that was impressive.

That was impressive
'cause l'm an impressive guy.

Feeling my nipples.

You know, l want to spend
the last couple of hours

with you
before you leave.

Just enjoy
the last bit of time...

l'm gonna be with you,
you know?

Do you feel
the same way,

or are you like,
'Whatever'?

Where's the love?
Where is the love?

Let me whisper
something to you.

- What?
- Bend down.

Oh yeah.

Tonight-- tonight
we have to party.

l won't even sleep
tonight.

That was my last meal
since l'm here.

l'm just going
to drink all day.

l'm not sleeping
neither.

.* This is who l am
and this is what l like .*

.* GC, Sum and Blink
and MxPx rocking my room .*

.* lf you're looking for me
l'll be at the show .*

.* l can never find
a better place to go .*

.* Until the day l die,
l promise l won't change .*

.* So you better give up,
l don't want to be told to grow up .*

.* And l don't want to change,
l just want to have fun .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* And l don't want to change
so you better give up .*

.* 'Cause l'm not gonna change,
l don't want to grow up... .*

Everybody scream!

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* Grow up, grow up .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* Grow up, grow up .*

.* Yeah .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* And l don't want to change,
l just want to have fun .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* And l don't want to change
so you better give up .*

.* 'Cause l'm not gonna change,
so you better give up .*

.* No, l'm not gonna change
l don't want to grow up. .*

Have a good time
tonight, Cancun.

l love Mexico!

So fucking
messed up.

Come here-- oh...

l want to remember today.
Big last day, l want to remember it.

l don't know how you feel-- like, everything
that happened yesterday.

lt's cool.
We talked about it. We settled it.

Heidi: Are going to come back
and hang out with us tonight?

l don't know.
l got to ask Alan.

- ls he up there?
- Yeah.

l fucked up,
you know what l'm saying?

So l understand
where she's coming from.

l respect that.

We did it all.
Who cares, man?

l think he will ask me,
but l don't know.

Announcer:
Are you ready?

We want Snoop!
We want Snoop!

All the way
from Long Beach, California...

the one and only,
Snoop Dogg.

Snoop: Yo, l'm gonna do this
not just for the ladies,

but for all of the beautiful ladies
in the house tonight.

'Cause l see a whole bunch
of-- ooh-whee!

That's 'Ooh-whee!
Preach!'

'Preach' is what
the prophet said.

This next record is for all
the beautiful ladies.

l'm pretty sure you've heard
this record before.

And if you haven't heard it, it goes
a little something like this.

.* Oh-oh-oh-oh... .*

.* Yeah, yeah, yeah... .*

Y'all know the words
to this shit right here?

.* Oh-oh-oh-oh... .*

l can't hear you.
Can y'all sing it louder?

.* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... .*

Well, if you know the words to it,
sing it like-- sing it like this.

.* Beautiful .*

.* Just want you to know
you're my favourite girl... .*

Can we get some ladies
on stage right now?

.* When l see my baby boo,
shit, l get foolish .*

.* l'll smack a nigga
that tries to pursue it .*

.* Homeboy, she's taken,
just move it .*

.* l asked you nicely,
don't make the Dogg lose it .*

.* We just blow 'dro
and keep the flow moving .*

.* ln a '64,
me and baby boo cruising .*

.* Body rag interior blue .*

.* And have them hydraulics
squeaking when we screwing .*

.* Now she's yelling,
hollering out 'Snoop' .*

.* And hooting, hollering,
hollering, hooting .*

.* Black and beautiful,
you're the one l'm choosing .*

.* Your hair long and black
and curly like you're Cuban .*

.* Keep grooving
that's what we're doing .*

.* And we gonna be together
until your mums move in... .*

Everybody sing this shit for all the
beautiful ladies. Come on.

.* Beautiful .*

.* l just want you to know
that you're my favourite girl... .*

l can't hear you!

.* Beautiful .*

.* l just want you to know
you're my favourite girl .*

.* There's something about you,
you're so beautiful .*

.* See, l just want you .*

.* To know that you
are really special... .*

Everybody clap your hands
to this, come on.

.* Oh why, oh why,
oh why, oh why? .*

Everybody clap your hands.

Everybody just clap your hands.
Come on.

.* Oh why, oh why,
oh why, oh why? .*

.* See, l just want you .*

.* To know that you
are really special .*

.* Oh why, oh why,
oh why, oh why? .*

l want to thank
all the beautiful ladies

that's going to come and holler
at me when l get off stage.

Love, y'all.
l'm done.

l'm so trashed, man.

Paul!

- Paul.
- Hi, Paul. l'm Cindy.

Hi, you look fly, Cindy.

Get the hot tub
cracking, Matt.

Where's it at?
You already fucked up.

- Don't push the things, though.
- Yeah, l know. Cindy!

Alan: l think Matt and that girl
went into the shower together.

( heavy breathing )

Ooh-whee!

.* Smoke it and stroke it
and shake it like l broke it .*

.* When l drop my funky booty
on the ground .*

.* l like, get down! .*

( record scratching effect )

Matt:
Sarah. Sarah!

Fuck!

- ls it cold?
- lt's warming up.

Let me see.

You know what?

Did you ever take a bath
in the sea at night?

Me either.

- Yeah, l don't know.
- What do you think?

What, naked?

- Naked.
- Naked?

Sure.
You got to go naked.

No, nobody
gets naked.

That's ridiculous.

l feel stupid for even
trying to fucking--

it's not like anything
would have happened

ever between us, but-- fuck.
What a fucking skank is he?

You know, l have the best
fucking boyfriend at home.

The best fucking boyfriend who
treats me like a fucking princess,

and who is the best person
in the whole world.

And, you know,
it's like--

l never would have hooked up
with Matt anyway, ever,

and l'm glad, thank God,
l didn't do it.

l thank God.
l thank fucking God

that l didn't do anything with Matt.
Not a goddamn thing.

l don't feel bad.
l'm going home

to the best person
in the fucking world tomorrow.

- Yeah.
- l'm gonna put some clothes on.

l'll be downstairs.

l misplaced where you put
your e-mail address.

l think the girls
put it here. Yes.

Okay. l'm gonna
leave you mine.

Here, this is
my street.

My name, my street, my zip code,
my e-mail address.

- How do you pronounce this?
- Julia.

Do you say, 'Joo-lia,'
or do you say, 'Hyoo-lia'?

- Julia.
- You say 'Yoo-lia'?

- Yes, very good.
- Okay.

Okay.

- Yoo-lia. '
- Yeah, cool.

.* Baby, when l've
fallen asleep .*

.* l think about you,
do you think about me? .*

.* Tell me if you want
to get close .*

.* Closer to the fire,
closer to me. .*

Sarah. Sarah.

Come here.
Just talk to me.

- lt's different.
- lt's not different.

Five minutes?

Don't like what l have to say,
you don't have to talk to me again.

Five minutes.

Jorell:
You know what l'd do, honestly?

- Five minutes.
- Just start talking now.

Five minutes.
Five minutes.

Okay, that's fine.
So you know l had five minutes.

Fuck!

- Girl: Where you from?
- Sarah: Arizona.

Sarah. Sarah!

- Please talk to me.
- Matt.

l know, l know.
Please.

- No.
- Please.

- Two minutes.
- What?

What the fuck
does that mean?

Sarah. Sarah!
Case, stop.

- Don't touch me.
- l'm not going to if you stop.

- Come back.
- Move. Matt, move.

Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.

l don't care. She has a boyfriend.
That's her fault.

- But still--
- l know l fucked up.

You played the game
the whole week, then the last day--

You know what, dude?
l can't fucking wait that long.

Casey, l cannot wait
that long, dude.

l've been watching you guys
all fucking week.

l can't do it.
l just need to talk to her...

- There's nothing you can say...
- ...for five minutes.

Nothing you can say.
She doesn't want to talk about it.

Shit, dude-- 24 hours,
that's all l need.

l punched a hole through
the fucking thing.

.* Looks like
l'm out of luck .*

.* 'Cause she's got me
so damn stuck .*

.* Wish l never met her
just want to forget her .*

.* But she keeps
coming at me... .*

Matt, you are such
a fucking arsehole.

- No, fuck you.
- No, fuck you, Matt.

Fuck you.
Fuck you.

You see that?

.* ... Till l open my eyes .*

.* Now l just want
to get away from her... .*

Oh, wait-- 'l have a boyfriend'?
Okay, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, l do, and he's 100 times
better than you, Matt.

Matt, why are you
treating me like this?

What did you say to me
when we were sitting outside?

l said, l'm tired of your
fucking boyfriend.

l don't care, Matt.
You don't say 'fuck you'

to somebody you spent a week
like we've been doing night and day

- for a piece of arse.
- Fuck you.

Matt, for a piece of arse
you're never going to see again.

You had 24 hours.

Ooh.

.* ...l just want
to get away from her. .*

Alan: There's two people
down there.

There's a couple people
down there.

There's a couple people
over there.

This is so cool.

Because you told me
that you like the Celtic language

and stuff like that, these are
Celtic symbols and a bracelet.

- Are you giving this to me?
- Yeah.

Don't lose it.

- l won't.
- Okay.

.* Yeah .*

.* Whoo, yeah .*

.* Whoo-- yeah .*

.* Whoo, yeah .*

.* lt takes two to make
a thing go right .*

.* Whoo, yeah .*

.* lt takes two to make it
out of sight .*

.* Whoo, yeah .*

.* lt takes two to make
a thing go right .*

.* Yeah .*

.* lt takes two to make it
out of sight. .*

That's a French kiss.
You never heard that?

l'm doing
with tongues.

Yeah, you use your tongue.
That's a French kiss.

- That's a tongue kiss.
- You call it a 'tongue kiss'?

- Yeah.
- You call a French kiss 'kissing'?

l do, yeah.

What about French fries?
Do you call them French fries?

.* l want to rock
right now .*

.* l'm Rob Base and l came
to get down .*

.* l'm not
internationally known .*

.* But l'm known to rock
the microphone .*

.* Because l get stupid--
l mean, outrageous .*

.* Stay away from me
if you're contagious .*

.* 'Cause l'm a winner,
no, not a loser .*

.* To be an MC
is what l choose-ah. .*

You don't call them
French fries?

Yeah, we call them
French fries, but--

.* lt takes two
to make... .*

.* lt takes two to make... .*

.* lt takes two to make--
it takes two to make .*

.* lt takes two
to make... .*

.* One, two, three--
get loose now. .*

Julia: l never did that.
That's so cool.

l know.

l think it's just so cool here
because the water's turquoise.

Look at the moon.
Wow.

- lt's amazing.
- l know, look at that.

Dave: Wow,
what an eventful night.

l think it was, like,
it was all the emotions

that have been pent up
this whole week

just fucking--
exploded.

Stupidest thing
l've done in my life, man.

You win some,
you lose some.

That was a fucking
great one to lose.

l did some things that l might
have otherwise not done

unless l was in this situation
and this setting.

lf l could live this week
over again,

l wouldn't change
anything.

Why you all in my
'get ready' area?

You have
your own room.

All good things
must come to an end.

lt's not the end.

lt's just the beginning, homie.
Just the beginning.

You guys, best goddamn
spring break ever.

Hell, yeah.

.* Happy endings .*

.* Just what did you do?
lf you're a dream, then come true .*

.* Stop pretending .*

.* That what you mean
isn't what you say .*

.* Hopeful dreaming .*

.* Round and round
and round we go again .*

- .* You-- .*
- .* You ask me what went wrong .*

- .* Me-- .*
- .* l'll write you this last song .*

- .* Please-- .*
- .* Just tell me .*

.* One way we can win .*

.* Happy endings .*

.* That you mean
isn't what you say... .*

The image of you
shaking your arse

in that fucking
bikini, man--

lt will always
remain in my head.

- Spring break legend.
- You're a sweet legend in my world.

This sucks.
l don't want to go.

.* She walks away .*

.* She talks away... .*

Thanks.

- This is Julia?
- Yeah.

Everybody left.
Everybody left.

She thought we
weren't going to leave till 1 2:30.

- We're leaving early.
- Leave her a note.

.* Happy endings .*

.* Of times before the pain,
wishing it was still the same .*

.* Loving, leaving .*

.* Round and round
and round we go again .*

.* Happy endings. .*

Tell these guys
who lives here, dude.

l live here, fuckos.

.* This is who l am
and this is what l like .*

.* GC, Sum and Blink
and MxPx rocking my room .*

.* lf you're looking for me
l'll be at the show... .*

.* Word up to the bitches
and all the ho's .*

.* All these motherfuckers
loving my flows .*

.* Because my name's Alan Taylor,
l'm 'Big Al-C' .*

.* All these motherfuckers
want to fuck with me. .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* And l don't wanna change,
l just wanna have fun .*

.* l don't want to be told
to grow up .*

.* And l don't wanna change
so you better give up .*

.* 'Cause l'm not gonna change,
l don't wanna grow up... .*

Hey, you kids
ready to learn?

Yeah!

Well,
alright then.

.* STDs .*

.* lt's a disease .*

.* Bring you down to your knees,
which is how you got them .*

.* ln the first place--
STDs. .*

.* l'm immature, but l
will stay this way forever .*

.* Till the day l die
l promise l won't change. .*

- Mama works hard.
- Alright...

- Are you guys going to the pool?
- Yeah. Come hop in.

Alright, cool.
Can we get naked, Roxanne?

'Cause l want
to bang you so bad.

l got this midget fantasy.
Don't ask me why, man.

l got this midget fantasy
that's out of this world.

Seriously. Man, they've got
the biggest arses l've ever seen.

Paul: You ever seen
a midget's arse?

Alan: No.

- Oh, dude.
- She ain't got--

Sky ain't got nothing
on a midget arse.

Come on, Alan.

Alan, wipe your vagina off
and let's do a fucking shot.

Speaking of taking
your tampon out...

Yo, did you hear what l did
to her boyfriend?

- Yeah.
- What happened?

That girl was hot.
With the red-- you see that?

They're all hot up there.
This is the finals.

Fuck.

l haven't 'kersplooged'
in like, a week.

- Relax, bro'.
- My balls are the size of melons.

Relax, bro'.

Jorell: Paul's gonna have
a 'No-Grit Dick' commercial.

He's gonna be like,

'You want to be
hung like me?

Don't eat grits.'

Grits is going
to like discontinue.

Guys are going to be like,
'l'm not eating grits.

l'm trying to be hung
like Paul.'

.* ...l don't wanna change
so you better give up .*

.* 'Cause l'm not gonna change,
l don't want to grow up... .*

Do you know who we have
in our hotel right now?

We have Snoop Dogg
in our hotel right now.

- Woman: You have what?
- Snoop Dogg.

- A loose dog?
- Snoop-- Snoop Dogg.

What's that?

.* Do you think that l could
get some, chickie-chickie? .*

.* Maybe gets a little finger
sticky-sticky? .*

.* You my electric Kool-Aid
lip balm flavour .*

.* l gots ta do ya till
the next song saves ya .*

.* And can l get a little
'zip-zip, lookie-lookie'? .*

.* Maybe just a little
'uh-uh, nookie-nookie'? .*

.* Hey, what'cha say?
lt doesn't matter anyway .*

.* You won't do another
'cause you're getting with me .*

.* She got the power
of the hoochie .*

.* l got a fever for the flavour
of the coochie .*

.* And did l mention,
hey pay attention .*

.* Gonna take that booty
to the nudie dimension .*

.* l got the green glow
under my car .*

.* l got the 'boom-boom' system
you can hear real far .*

.* Oh, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey .*

.* Oh pretty-pretty shy,
whoop, whoop .*

.* What do l have to say .*

.* To get inside, girl? .*

.* What do l have to say? .*

.* l got the fever
for the flavour of a coochie .*

.* Yo hey ma, yo hey ma,
yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie .*

.* l got the fever
for the flavour of a coochie .*

.* Yo hey ma, yo hey ma,
yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie .*

.* Whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop .*

.* Whoop, whoop,
whoop, go .*

.* Boom-boom, listen
you can hear real far .*

.* Oh hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey .*

.* Oh pretty-pretty shy,
whoop, whoop .*

.* Oh hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey .*

.* Oh pretty-pretty fly,
whoop, whoop .*

.* What do l have to say .*

.* To get inside, girl? .*

.* What do l have to say? .*

.* l got a fever for the flavour
of a coochie .*

.* Yo hey ma, yo hey ma,
yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie .*

.* Whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop .*

.* Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop .*

.* Whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop .*

.* Whoop, whoop-- go! .*

.* All around the world .*

.* Hey, girls, hey, girls .*

.* Your zippers
and your pearls .*

.* Hey, girls .*

.* All around the world. .*