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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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We're starting the Calloway
Philanthropic Trust,
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which will donate $5 million.
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Kids born with Frozen Nostril
Syndrome deserve my compassion.
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Our foundation is doing
a lot of great work.
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I mean, we're helping
kids breathe and shit.
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Cam asked me to be the
chairperson for a gala event
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for the family foundation.
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Do you think it's a bad idea?
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I think it's an idea that
should remain an idea.
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And I think I'm gonna do it.
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If I know that I'm about
to step in a pile of shit,
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and then I step in a pile of shit,
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I still stepped in a pile of shit,
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and that's on me, Missy.
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That ain't on that pile of shit.
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That looks good, boys.
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Oh, hey, Mary Charles. I thought
you already left for school.
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I wanted to see the unveiling
of yet another statue
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in your ever-expanding and now
backyard-dominating saints collection.
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Well, say hello to St. Jude,
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the patron saint of lost causes.
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Why are people praying to lost causes?
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Why not pray for some shit
that actually could happen,
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like me getting a pool back here?
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You know, you understand nothing.
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I was under the understanding
I'd be standing next to a pool
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once the gazebo got demo'd,
but I still don't see a pool.
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Pools kill more Americans than guns.
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Get the fuck out.
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I will stay the fuck in.
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Come on, folks, this is
a sanctuary, all right?
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Enough with the fuck-bombs.
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F-bombs, not fuck-bombs.
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Look, we got slate paths
and... and shrubs and shit.
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What's done is done, and
you heard what Chen said,
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"Pools kill more Americans than guns."
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Not black Americans. Ain't
a black American alive
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who wouldn't prefer to get pulled
over by a cop holding a pool.
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Drowning in pools,
bathtubs, oceans, and lakes
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kills more people than
guns. This is a fact.
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Because most people take
baths and go to the beach.
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If more kids spent their
summers playing with uzis,
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- the facts would differ.
- If you want to swim,
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go to that big Olympic pool
at your fancy university.
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I don't want a pool to swim
in. I want a pool to sit by.
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Pools are for parties,
and we don't have enough.
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We're hosting a huge gala tomorrow.
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That's a charity event, not a bash.
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We're gonna have to behave.
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Look, when people come to the gala,
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they are gonna know that the
Calloway family gives props to God.
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Miss Cass, Missy needs me.
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Go.
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I gotta go over the gala video with Cam.
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Then I gotta lay off
5,000 workers via Skype.
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- Wish me luck.
- Okay.
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Put a pool out front. I'll buy.
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How about you hold on to that
money and save their jobs instead?
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Hey, I didn't invent automation.
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Humans gotta figure out a new
way to make themselves useful.
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Besides, most of the
layoffs are children.
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Kidding.
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Ma, I get you going
back to church and all,
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but why do you have to have a statue
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of an old Jewish woman
so prominently displayed?
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The Virgin Mary was Catholic.
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Mary's Jewish.
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She gave birth to
Christ, for Christ's sake.
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You give birth to
Christ, you're Christian.
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I mean, Christianity basically
started inside of her.
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At the very least, her
ovaries are Christian.
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I gotta get to class.
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Mary Charles, I need to thank you.
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Last summer, if you weren't such a
stickler for prying into the past,
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I may never have sought
solace from God again.
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You are responsible for me
revisiting my Catholic roots,
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as modest as they were,
so thank you for that.
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Of course, Ma.
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You know, um, God didn't
consult the Virgin Mary
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when he put the Baby
Jesus inside of her.
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You know, he didn't
even tell her himself.
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He sent the angel Gabriel.
And Gabriel didn't ask Mary.
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He said, "Yo, heads up. You
got some fruit in your womb."
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He didn't say, "The creator
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wants to put the savior
inside of your belly.
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Are you cool with that?" No.
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God just did it.
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You know, maybe he knew
that Mary would think
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that she wasn't strong enough
to give birth to the messiah,
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but you know what? She was.
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God never asked me if I wanted
to be pregnant with you either.
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But I'm glad I was.
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Me too, Ma.
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Otherwise you'd be standing here
talking to yourself right now.
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God could have worked on getting
some consent before the fact, though.
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Look, I'm not saying that it was
God's will what happened to me.
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I mean, God can't stop the bad
things from happening to us.
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You know, that's not
how he worked it out.
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Sometimes, baby, you
just... you gotta be strong.
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You're stronger than strong.
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Do you know I realized that I've existed
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up until now just moving forward,
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but never appreciating the here and now?
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'Cause the here and now's here and now.
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That's exactly why they
fucking call it that.
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You want to say a Hail Mary with me?
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Uh, I'll give her a
shout-out from the car.
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Come here.
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Mmm.
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- I'll see you tonight.
- All right.
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- We gotta try our gowns on!
- Oh, yeah.
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You know, Missy hooked
us up with some fly shit.
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Oh, yeah. Ooh, we gonna be
looking so fierce tomorrow.
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Bye, Ma.
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Oh, oh. In the living room, please.
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Oh, um, if the doorbell
rings, it's the decorators.
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Tell them to get started.
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00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:07,925
Well, who are all these
dudes in the turquoise shirts?
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The movers. Um, I'm gonna be downstairs
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going over all the final
gala stuff with Cam.
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- Right on.
- He only gave me ten minutes,
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- so I have to talk fast.
- Bullet points help.
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Cam loves his bullet points.
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And so I got 'em. On index cards.
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- Hey.
- Bullet upon bullet.
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Missy, you got everything covered.
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Then why am I so stressed?
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Because you got high standards.
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And you want to make sure
that those standards are met,
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and you hate relying on other people
to make sure some of 'em get met.
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But such is life. Now,
can I step in on anything?
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No. No, no. I don't want any stepping
in. I gotta do this on my own.
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Okay... This isn't stepping in.
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But I want you to keep in mind
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one thing before you
go talk to Cam, okay?
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Uh, do you see these papers right here?
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This sounds like stepping in.
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No. No, no, no. This is more of, uh, me
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- traveling on the road returning from a journey...
- Oh.
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00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,572
... passing you, another
traveler on the road,
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00:05:54,672 --> 00:05:57,207
and just exchanging some reconnaissance.
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I have been on gala road for a month.
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Yes, but you are now coming
around the final bend,
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00:06:01,345 --> 00:06:03,146
which without warning,
can switch back on you,
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leave you teetering off a sheer cliff.
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It is so important to me that
you do not meddle tomorrow night.
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I will make myself
invisible tomorrow night,
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but tomorrow's tomorrow,
today I'm just talking.
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Yes, about a sheer
cliff. Oh, three minutes.
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All right, well this will
take but one of those three.
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One minute, one minute, come on.
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Sit, sit, sit.
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Now listen, you, uh, you see this?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Looks like a bunch of papers.
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Well, it's not. This is someone's dream.
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A dream that Cam Calloway
wanted to make come true.
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These are legal documents
for an investment
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- in a vintage wallpaper shop in Memphis.
- Ugh.
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- Ask me, "Why Memphis?"
- Okay, so we're doing a whole bit here?
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- It's worth it.
- Reggie, why Memphis?
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Because Cam made friends
with the parking attendant
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when he played there, JaMichael.
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Oh.
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And he promised him
that when he made it big,
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he wouldn't blow him off.
So Cam's not blowing him off.
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00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:49,927
But what Cam has done is he's blown
JaMichael the parking attendant's
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vintage wallpaper shop into my lap,
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and I gotta act like it's a great idea.
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00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:56,334
Missy, it can't be, for anybody, Hmm?
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including people that actually
love vintage wallpaper.
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Now, there are stacks and
stacks of documents like this
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- all over my fucking office, Missy, all over...
- Reggie, Reggie, I live with you.
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00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:05,809
- I know these things.
- Right.
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00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,678
You're talking like I
don't know these things
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or like I haven't seen
you deal with these things,
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00:07:09,747 --> 00:07:12,316
or I haven't overheard you
talking loudly on your cell phone
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- cursing about these things.
- Right.
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00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:17,621
But what I haven't done is
alerted you to the, uh...
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00:07:17,721 --> 00:07:21,525
the storage space I got at the
intersection of Peachtree and Piedmont.
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Piles, piles of folders
just like this one.
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People have gotten lost in there.
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Lost in a labyrinth
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of Cam's well-intentioned patronage
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00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:30,668
to other people's ill-advised dreams.
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00:07:30,768 --> 00:07:33,036
Yet all these dreams, all these folders,
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00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:34,538
they exist due to one word.
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00:07:34,638 --> 00:07:36,940
This is Cam's favorite word, "Sure."
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00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,459
- One minute.
- Okay, uh, you know what?
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00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:39,460
I'm gonna walk with you. All right?
191
00:07:39,462 --> 00:07:41,512
So... wait, wait. Man,
you move fast. So, listen.
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00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,581
So, you know how somebody will
come up to Cam and they'll say,
193
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:45,449
"Hey, man, you interested
in investing in something?"
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00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,818
And then Cam will say, "Sure."
Sometimes he says, "Sure, sure."
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00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:50,788
Like, two sures. Now somebody
looking for a commitment will ask,
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00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:53,223
"Is that a yes?" And then
somebody else will say, "Yes."
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00:07:53,323 --> 00:07:54,725
And then they follow
that with, "Are you sure?"
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00:07:54,825 --> 00:07:56,927
When somebody asks Cam for
help fulfilling their dream,
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00:07:57,027 --> 00:07:58,695
he skips the "yes" part,
he goes right to, "sure."
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00:07:58,696 --> 00:08:00,230
He leads with, "Sure."
201
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,032
Are you still talking?
202
00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:04,234
I mean, you should be
carrying Ophelia at this point.
203
00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:05,736
A Hamlet reference. I get it.
204
00:08:05,836 --> 00:08:07,771
But, hey, a soliloquy's got
no one else on the stage.
205
00:08:07,871 --> 00:08:09,873
You are on stage with me. Not for long.
206
00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:11,442
- Missy...
- Huh?
207
00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:13,243
... to work for Cam
Calloway is to realize that
208
00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:14,478
not only will he create
more work for you,
209
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,346
but majority of your
time will be wasted.
210
00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:18,516
So my final parting meddle is this.
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00:08:18,616 --> 00:08:21,351
I want you to know that there will
be over the next, I don't know,
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00:08:21,452 --> 00:08:24,094
40-plus hours, fallout
from a Cam "sure"
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00:08:24,095 --> 00:08:25,389
that you didn't know was spoken.
214
00:08:25,489 --> 00:08:26,957
And I want you to know
that when that happens,
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00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:29,493
it is not a reflection on
how well you have prepared.
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00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:31,895
But it is important on how you react,
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00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,931
how you bob, how you weave,
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00:08:34,031 --> 00:08:35,833
how you duck, how you cover.
219
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:40,370
I want you to stay Missy, you
stay positive, and you stay sure.
220
00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,806
Your success is my success.
221
00:08:42,906 --> 00:08:44,575
I knew you would say the right thing
222
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- when I walked into your office today.
- Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:46,677 --> 00:08:48,912
I also knew that I would
have to pull that right thing
224
00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:50,548
out of an avalanche of words.
225
00:08:50,648 --> 00:08:53,050
Baby, I just try to babble
until something lands.
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00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:55,453
- Oh.
- Yeah.
227
00:08:55,553 --> 00:08:56,887
- I'm nervous.
- All right.
228
00:08:56,987 --> 00:08:58,155
- All right.
- Get 'er done.
229
00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:00,290
Yes, yes.
230
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:04,995
Whoa, that's it. That's it! Yes!
231
00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:08,198
Ye... no! No! Whoa!
232
00:09:08,398 --> 00:09:12,335
Whoo, shit! Oh, shit!
233
00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:16,339
Yo, Chen, that ain't virtual reality,
yo. This is r... reality reality.
234
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,641
Careful! When you take them off,
235
00:09:17,741 --> 00:09:18,776
you gotta go slow and get readjusted.
236
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:20,778
Yo, that is the shit right there.
237
00:09:20,878 --> 00:09:23,413
- How did you pull this off?
- I got people.
238
00:09:23,514 --> 00:09:25,082
I gotta get some people like that.
239
00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:28,318
Chinese film nerd masterminds.
We took your notes to heart.
240
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:30,087
This is about to be the dopest,
241
00:09:30,187 --> 00:09:34,758
most realest gala charity
video presentation in history.
242
00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:37,327
When are you going public with
those goggles? I gotta invest.
243
00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:40,030
You already did. Any final video tweaks?
244
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:43,400
Try to find something that's a
little more impactful with disease.
245
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,669
I feel like disease should
make people feel uneasy.
246
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:49,106
See, the difference between our
foundation and other foundations,
247
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:50,140
we not just gonna throw a party,
248
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,709
we gonna make people feel.
249
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:53,877
And the video has gotta
be what makes people feel.
250
00:09:53,977 --> 00:09:56,313
We gotta gut punch
these people, all right?
251
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:58,048
- Yeah.
- Oh, and also,
252
00:09:58,148 --> 00:09:59,683
um, stop dating my mom.
253
00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:08,158
Shit, man. You looked so serious.
254
00:10:08,258 --> 00:10:10,761
You're great for her. You love her.
255
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,131
You adore her even though she's
on to this new Catholic gig,
256
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:15,666
and I... I appreciate you, man.
257
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:17,701
Back at you. She makes me happy.
258
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:20,003
I can share her with God. He
and I have different needs.
259
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:23,473
All right, easy. We can finish the
voiceover tonight after my game.
260
00:10:23,574 --> 00:10:25,442
Whatever you need. Gonna be epic.
261
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:26,944
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.
262
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,912
There we go. Now
there's one of my people.
263
00:10:29,012 --> 00:10:31,081
Talk about somebody who gets
something done, Missy Vaughn.
264
00:10:31,181 --> 00:10:32,750
How's the VR presentation?
265
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,652
It's about to put a whole
bunch of wealthy people
266
00:10:34,752 --> 00:10:37,187
into this disturbing
reality of the circumstances
267
00:10:37,287 --> 00:10:38,421
that we are working to change.
268
00:10:38,622 --> 00:10:40,423
It's gonna destroy people.
269
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:42,960
- I just want you to be happy.
- I'm beyond happy.
270
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,796
- This gala is about to be different than any other gala.
- Let me see.
271
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,965
Chen just put in some final
tweaks that I asked for.
272
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,400
He killed it. I'm about to kill it
even more when I do my voiceover.
273
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,536
- Kill, kill, kill.
- Well, how does it work?
274
00:10:52,636 --> 00:10:54,672
- Not like that.
- Look, I got this, okay?
275
00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,039
Let me have something to
do with the party, please.
276
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:58,542
All right. Chen, you
need anything from me?
277
00:10:58,642 --> 00:11:00,443
Cocaine. Been working long hours.
278
00:11:00,544 --> 00:11:02,512
Missy, I say this with all love.
279
00:11:02,613 --> 00:11:05,148
- Walk away. Go handle some other shit.
- All right.
280
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,484
Thank yo... oh, wait, hey!
Could you make sure that Allison
281
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:09,953
looks and feels like a million bucks?
282
00:11:10,053 --> 00:11:12,856
It's not hard to do, but I want her
to feel like the belle of the ball.
283
00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:14,372
And the same thing for Mom and M-Chuck.
284
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:15,859
Spare no expense in their gowns.
285
00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:18,261
It's done. It's in their closets.
I just need them to put it on.
286
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:20,288
And if my evening is a success,
287
00:11:20,289 --> 00:11:21,965
I will get to see
your mother's come off.
288
00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:24,735
- Oh!
- What else we got? Man, I gotta get to the arena.
289
00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:28,138
Yes. Chen, I need you
to sign a few things.
290
00:11:28,238 --> 00:11:29,206
Oh, DJ Hopey Frolic is in.
291
00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:31,274
Hopey Frolic? Yes!
292
00:11:31,374 --> 00:11:34,712
And for the live auction, I got
Nate Davis, a real auctioneer.
293
00:11:34,812 --> 00:11:37,447
I need him to soak these rich
people until it hurts them.
294
00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:39,650
Yes, raising money will
take active shaming.
295
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,585
I like to call it
compassionate persuasion.
296
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:43,654
I'm gonna need to pull you
towards people all night.
297
00:11:43,754 --> 00:11:45,122
The minute folks walk in the door,
298
00:11:45,222 --> 00:11:48,726
they will download the
"Cam Calloway Get Woke" app.
299
00:11:48,826 --> 00:11:49,927
Whoa, you had this made just for us?
300
00:11:50,027 --> 00:11:52,663
I went to college. I got people.
301
00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:53,931
Missy's got people. I got people.
302
00:11:54,031 --> 00:11:56,099
I love you people. This is great!
303
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:59,069
As the night goes on, we
can track how we're doing,
304
00:11:59,169 --> 00:12:02,005
see how much money we've raised,
and then adjust accordingly.
305
00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:05,175
Okay, well, you know what?
I'm ready to go to work.
306
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:07,577
Run me around like Barack
running and grabbing cash
307
00:12:07,578 --> 00:12:08,812
for Michelle's run for president.
308
00:12:08,912 --> 00:12:11,181
But this gala cannot
just be a good time.
309
00:12:11,281 --> 00:12:13,114
We gotta make people feel the tragedy
310
00:12:13,115 --> 00:12:14,818
of the circumstances
we're trying to change.
311
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:18,088
Clean water, more humane
prisons, nostril surgeries.
312
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:21,625
Cam, it's a good goal to get
people to care like you care.
313
00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:23,761
But the gala's goal
is to get their money.
314
00:12:23,861 --> 00:12:26,630
Not everyone's wired with
your empathy and compassion.
315
00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:29,733
Well, our job is to rewire
these callous motherfuckers.
316
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,069
I do think that people want to help,
317
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,026
but I will concede that
taking a photo with you
318
00:12:34,027 --> 00:12:35,172
will help them help more.
319
00:12:35,272 --> 00:12:36,774
And they want to see what
your house looks like.
320
00:12:36,874 --> 00:12:39,609
Where you shit, where you
eat, where you copulate.
321
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:40,911
- Ugh.
- You see, Cam,
322
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,313
now more than ever
before in man's history,
323
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:47,517
the world is bifurcated. There
are the famous and the anonymous.
324
00:12:47,617 --> 00:12:52,289
And tomorrow night, the latter
can in an instant touch the former
325
00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:54,524
and shine in his reflected light,
326
00:12:54,624 --> 00:12:56,727
thus to confirm their fading convictions
327
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:58,295
that their own lives have meaning
328
00:12:58,395 --> 00:12:59,963
and that they even exist at all.
329
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:01,832
- A'ight.
- Excuse...
330
00:13:01,932 --> 00:13:03,566
Oh, can I show you the schedule?
331
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,535
Schedule approved. I
gotta get to the arena.
332
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:07,037
Oh, Missy, I'm gonna send you a text
333
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,872
because I met these guys
with this donut business,
334
00:13:08,972 --> 00:13:10,373
and I really want them to come tomorrow.
335
00:13:10,473 --> 00:13:11,875
I'm trying to give
their business a boost.
336
00:13:11,975 --> 00:13:13,877
I think we should have
a whole donut station.
337
00:13:13,977 --> 00:13:15,813
People love when you give them donuts,
338
00:13:15,913 --> 00:13:16,880
especially when they
ain't gotta pay for them.
339
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,682
That's when they really be eating them.
340
00:13:18,782 --> 00:13:20,117
H... how many donuts are
we talking about here?
341
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,152
And... and what kind of
donuts? Like the cake donuts
342
00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:24,554
or the fluffy donuts or
with the egg glaze and, uh...
343
00:13:24,654 --> 00:13:26,757
Give me the information. I'll handle it.
344
00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:27,946
Hey Missy, I've been
wanting to tell you,
345
00:13:27,947 --> 00:13:29,927
I could never have
done this without you.
346
00:13:30,027 --> 00:13:31,288
You have gone above and beyond
347
00:13:31,289 --> 00:13:32,289
the above and beyond,
348
00:13:32,292 --> 00:13:34,331
and I have enjoyed watching
every single move you've made.
349
00:13:34,431 --> 00:13:35,833
And I have enjoyed doing this, Cam.
350
00:13:35,933 --> 00:13:37,367
- Come on. Come on.
- Oh, okay.
351
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,703
All right.
352
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:40,785
You've given me the opportunity
353
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,072
to really do a lot of things
I've been thinking about
354
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:44,141
and help people I've
been wanting to help.
355
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,710
This gala is about to put us on the
map, and it's all because of you.
356
00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:47,945
That's not true and you know it.
357
00:13:48,045 --> 00:13:49,679
Come on now. Take the compliment.
358
00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:51,048
I've been running around
doing a million things,
359
00:13:51,148 --> 00:13:52,750
and I've had you doing
ten million things.
360
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,651
She's done all of them
without breaking a sweat.
361
00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:56,725
- Damn straight.
- I've sweat in some places.
362
00:13:56,726 --> 00:13:57,755
I just won't tell you where.
363
00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:00,023
Tomorrow night, people
are going to leave here
364
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:01,825
talking about the Calloway
Philanthropic Trust.
365
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,160
Let's leave them woke.
366
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,594
Woke and a bit more broke.
367
00:14:04,694 --> 00:14:07,664
- Let's go. Let's get it.
- Hey!
368
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:22,612
Cam, this is Mike Valorose
of Valley High Financial.
369
00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:24,748
- Mm-hmm.
- He manages over $1 billion.
370
00:14:24,848 --> 00:14:26,884
That's right. Oh, hey, I'm
gonna manage this right now.
371
00:14:26,984 --> 00:14:28,618
- Oh.
- You stay right close.
372
00:14:28,718 --> 00:14:29,953
We're gonna clear off
this platter together.
373
00:14:30,053 --> 00:14:33,056
- Mike, you ever been to prison?
- I haven't, no.
374
00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:35,125
I got detention once in third grade.
375
00:14:35,225 --> 00:14:37,560
Brought a stink bomb to class.
The principal was not happy.
376
00:14:39,729 --> 00:14:40,964
When those prison
gates close behind you,
377
00:14:41,064 --> 00:14:42,665
the light gets sucked out with life.
378
00:14:42,866 --> 00:14:44,501
Hope is extinguished.
379
00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:48,405
As a society, we gotta... we
gotta do better and foster hope.
380
00:14:48,505 --> 00:14:50,273
Isn't shrimp great?
381
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,942
I feel kinda bad eating
them 'cause, you know,
382
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,276
they're just tiny little fishies,
383
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:54,812
but come on, c'est la vie.
384
00:14:54,912 --> 00:14:55,979
A man's gotta eat, right?
385
00:14:58,115 --> 00:15:00,117
Can I count on you to stand with
me and make a sizeable contribution?
386
00:15:00,217 --> 00:15:01,852
What the fuck you think I'm doing here?
387
00:15:01,952 --> 00:15:05,422
I got the app. I'll do it in a second.
388
00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:06,790
You ever seen an uncooked shrimp?
389
00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:09,192
It's got this line of
shit down the back of it.
390
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:14,197
They call it a vein, but I know
shit when I see it. It's so gross.
391
00:15:14,297 --> 00:15:15,966
Oh, for God's sake.
392
00:15:18,035 --> 00:15:19,803
All right?
393
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:23,440
- Oh, this is absolutely beautiful.
- What a party, huh?
394
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:27,310
How about this? Damn,
these donuts are still warm.
395
00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:28,879
Very tempting.
396
00:15:28,979 --> 00:15:31,314
Hi, I... I'm Cassie, Cam's mom.
397
00:15:31,414 --> 00:15:33,817
And this is, uh, Da Chen
Bao, Reggie, and Allison.
398
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:35,886
- Hi.
- Nate Davis. I'm the auctioneer.
399
00:15:35,986 --> 00:15:38,755
- Oh, wonderful!
- How we doing? How we doing? How we doing?
400
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,290
He's got the patter down.
401
00:15:40,390 --> 00:15:42,125
Yeah, I came to put the
patter on the people.
402
00:15:42,225 --> 00:15:44,223
- Oh!
- Gonna raise you some money tonight.
403
00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:45,224
- Hallelujah.
- Yeah.
404
00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:47,064
I'm the go-to guy when it
comes to charity auctions...
405
00:15:47,164 --> 00:15:48,298
- Oh.
- ... because I know who's got money,
406
00:15:48,398 --> 00:15:50,133
and I'll get it from them.
407
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:52,870
People are getting
liquored up. Sugared up.
408
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:54,872
Goddamnit, I love donuts.
409
00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:57,407
Well, you know, when they're
displayed this artfully,
410
00:15:57,507 --> 00:16:00,009
- it's hard not to.
- If I eat even half a donut,
411
00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:01,311
I'm plugged up for days.
412
00:16:01,411 --> 00:16:02,846
More details, Chen, please?
413
00:16:02,946 --> 00:16:04,848
You know what? I would
love a glazed one,
414
00:16:04,948 --> 00:16:06,716
but I don't want my tummy
to poke out of my dress.
415
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:07,951
You know I gotta watch what I eat.
416
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,053
Yeah, you and me both. I'm diabetic.
417
00:16:10,153 --> 00:16:11,955
No fooling.
418
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,724
But you only live once. Ah.
419
00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:17,794
You got frosted donuts, glazed donuts,
420
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:20,730
coconut donuts, sprinkled donuts.
421
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:23,867
Going once, going twice, sold!
422
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:26,569
Two donuts for the bold man
who's living for the moment!
423
00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:27,905
Ha! See you out there.
424
00:16:28,005 --> 00:16:29,172
All right, all right.
425
00:16:29,272 --> 00:16:31,441
Ooh, I'm sick to death of white people.
426
00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:36,413
Man, I love a good cigar.
427
00:16:36,513 --> 00:16:38,916
Love me a charity event that
has nothing to do with cancer
428
00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,384
so we can guiltlessly
smoke a good cigar.
429
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:44,387
Uh, you know what, Chen?
I wanted to ask you, man...
430
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,623
Yes, it's easy being me.
431
00:16:46,723 --> 00:16:48,615
No. I was going to ask how is it
432
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,593
you don't have a place
down here in Atlanta?
433
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:54,364
I have two places. Condo downtown
and a mansion a mile from here.
434
00:16:54,464 --> 00:16:57,000
I'm an only child. I prefer
being here with everyone.
435
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,501
- Two places?
- Two places.
436
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,403
Get the fuck outta here.
437
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:02,772
I will stay the fuck right here
and blow cigar smoke in your face.
438
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:04,975
Better than the smoke
you blew up my ass.
439
00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:07,911
- Hey, Robby.
- Let me give you a tip.
440
00:17:08,011 --> 00:17:12,749
This prick ever asks you to invest
in a beachfront hotel in Florida,
441
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,051
tell him to take a hike.
442
00:17:14,151 --> 00:17:16,386
Robby, water under the bridge.
443
00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:18,488
- Fuck you, Chen.
- Whoa.
444
00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:19,923
Say hi to the wife.
445
00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:26,529
We gotta keep the maggot
feces out of our water.
446
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,967
Everyone in the Middle Ages drank
beer because the water was so dirty.
447
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,554
I mean, do we really want to have kids
448
00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:32,870
getting drunk just so
they can stay alive?
449
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,353
When you see a child pick
his nose for the first time,
450
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,354
it's a beautiful thing.
451
00:17:36,406 --> 00:17:38,358
You don't look like a man
that's ever been in prison.
452
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:39,442
You wouldn't do well.
453
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,644
Why do we have to choose
between a man in prison
454
00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:43,846
dying face down in a
pool of his own blood
455
00:17:43,947 --> 00:17:47,017
or a child dying face down
in a pile of his own shit?
456
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:49,686
Next time you see a porta potty,
imagine drinking the water.
457
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:53,823
To a lot of people your toilet
is like a goblet of champagne.
458
00:17:53,923 --> 00:17:55,496
I mean, this isn't the first time
459
00:17:55,497 --> 00:17:56,628
that someone's gotten
stabbed while sleeping.
460
00:17:56,926 --> 00:17:59,963
There's no grass...
is your brother here?
461
00:18:00,063 --> 00:18:02,332
Richard, see, when
the people of good will
462
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:03,333
have the means to spread the wealth,
463
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,235
- we gotta do it.
- 25 red!
464
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,104
Yeah!
465
00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:10,107
I'm all in on the cause,
and I'm all in on that wheel,
466
00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:12,842
which is hot right now.
467
00:18:12,942 --> 00:18:15,178
Clean water for everyone.
468
00:18:15,278 --> 00:18:17,447
He knows he just won
drink coupons, right?
469
00:18:17,547 --> 00:18:19,849
The auctioneer had to lie down upstairs.
470
00:18:19,949 --> 00:18:22,652
Uh, I got a paramedic coming,
but apparently he's a diabetic
471
00:18:22,752 --> 00:18:24,654
and he decided to eat some donuts.
472
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:25,681
I saw that man eat six.
473
00:18:25,682 --> 00:18:27,857
We're gonna need to raise
money for a bionic foot.
474
00:18:27,957 --> 00:18:30,860
Classic case of the sugars. You
know that's a real thing, right?
475
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,295
- Cam's not gonna be happy.
- Whoa, whoa.
476
00:18:32,395 --> 00:18:34,197
Cam's not gonna know about this.
477
00:18:34,297 --> 00:18:36,466
I just meant that Cam thought
the donuts were low sugar.
478
00:18:36,566 --> 00:18:38,001
He ate, like, four.
479
00:18:38,101 --> 00:18:40,137
Allison, I need you to do the auction.
480
00:18:40,237 --> 00:18:42,105
I'd like my boyfriend to
still love me in the morning.
481
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,506
I'm just here to smile and look pretty.
482
00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:46,009
- And you are slaying, girl.
- Thank you, thank you.
483
00:18:46,109 --> 00:18:49,079
Cassie, I need you to do the auction.
484
00:18:49,179 --> 00:18:50,747
I ain't doing that shit.
Plus I'm kinda drunk.
485
00:18:50,847 --> 00:18:53,083
I already had three of these
frozen nostril margarita things.
486
00:18:53,183 --> 00:18:56,053
- Get Mary Charles to do it.
- Do what?
487
00:18:56,153 --> 00:18:57,720
Can you behave yourself?
488
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,322
- If I need to. Why?
- Okay.
489
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:00,957
You need me to help with anything?
490
00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:03,226
Stop meddling. Go eat
a donut. I got this.
491
00:19:06,163 --> 00:19:07,464
Okay, let's get you a microphone.
492
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:10,200
- Um, so the... the key word is patience.
- Okay.
493
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,135
- And, um, and kindness.
- Yes.
494
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,503
- And gentle pressure.
- Of course.
495
00:19:13,603 --> 00:19:15,772
And... and... and
humor. Humor's important.
496
00:19:15,872 --> 00:19:17,507
- Missy, what am I doing?
- Okay, right, right, sorry. You're gonna be great.
497
00:19:17,607 --> 00:19:19,109
Come on.
498
00:19:19,209 --> 00:19:21,911
All right, folks, hey.
My name is Mary Charles.
499
00:19:22,011 --> 00:19:23,446
I'm gonna be the auctioneer tonight.
500
00:19:23,546 --> 00:19:25,148
Why am I nervous?
501
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,084
Your sister has a mic and a crowd.
502
00:19:27,184 --> 00:19:29,119
- I believe in her.
- Don't come cheap.
503
00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:31,097
Or I'm gonna come for you
with both barrels loaded.
504
00:19:31,098 --> 00:19:32,255
And I got a pretty big gun.
505
00:19:32,355 --> 00:19:35,292
All right, first item
up is a pit bull puppy
506
00:19:35,392 --> 00:19:38,595
born and bred by musical
artist Pitbull himself.
507
00:19:38,695 --> 00:19:39,962
We all know he's Cuban.
508
00:19:40,063 --> 00:19:41,498
This is probably the last immigrant
509
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,600
that's gonna come to this
country for a long time.
510
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,035
So we want to make sure he
feels at home, all right?
511
00:19:46,136 --> 00:19:48,105
So, we can start the bidding at 305.
512
00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:50,173
That's Miami for those
of you who ain't got hoes
513
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,641
in different area codes.
514
00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:53,410
But since he's Mr. Worldwide now,
515
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:56,379
we're gonna open at
1,000. Do I hear 1,000?
516
00:19:56,479 --> 00:19:58,481
Come on, guys, can we
get 1,000 for the dog?
517
00:19:58,581 --> 00:20:00,740
$1,000. Come with me.
518
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,385
Let's let them see the
puppy up close and personal.
519
00:20:02,485 --> 00:20:05,122
Maybe that'll change their
mind. $1,000 is all I'm asking
520
00:20:05,222 --> 00:20:07,590
for this cute little blue
pit bull puppy right here.
521
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:10,227
Some of you have kids.
Some of your kids like you.
522
00:20:10,327 --> 00:20:12,529
Most of your kids don't. This
could make the difference.
523
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:15,965
Who's got $1,000? Come on.
524
00:20:16,065 --> 00:20:19,369
All right, Ayala.
Ayala's gonna fix my life.
525
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,373
She's gonna fix the dog's life.
Who's got $3,000 to top that?
526
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,543
I want you to cough it up and
I want you to cough it up now.
527
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,979
All right, Johann
Sebastian Bach's got $3,000.
528
00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:32,048
That's what I'm talking
about for the dog.
529
00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:36,286
What if Mr. Beethoven man turned
out to be the next Michael Vick? Huh?
530
00:20:36,386 --> 00:20:39,536
Do we want to see this poor dog
on a Sarah McLachlan commercial
531
00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:40,757
about how dogs get abused?
532
00:20:40,857 --> 00:20:43,025
Who's got $5,000 for the dog?
533
00:20:43,126 --> 00:20:44,507
Come on, gluten-free lady,
534
00:20:44,508 --> 00:20:46,028
I see you looking very
concerned for the dog.
535
00:20:46,129 --> 00:20:48,265
Do you want to give
me $5,000 for the dog?
536
00:20:48,365 --> 00:20:50,867
Or do you want to keep that
money and bet on a dog fight?
537
00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:54,871
Can I hear $5,000 to
save your reputation?
538
00:20:54,971 --> 00:20:57,740
$5,000 from the gluten-free lady.
539
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,876
I love it. We got a pit bull dog,
540
00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:02,512
so I need somebody to come with $9,000.
541
00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:05,034
Hey, Mr. Monopoly, I know
you've been playing around
542
00:21:05,035 --> 00:21:07,650
in the community chest. I'm sure
you collected a lot of big rent.
543
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:10,487
Give me my $9,000 for
this dog, you got that?
544
00:21:10,587 --> 00:21:13,290
Yes! My Mr. Monopoly
man, he's coming up.
545
00:21:13,390 --> 00:21:17,194
He passed go. He collected
$200. He got to Boardwalk.
546
00:21:17,294 --> 00:21:19,529
Now listen, between you
and me, he looks like a guy
547
00:21:19,629 --> 00:21:21,631
that might have sex with
dogs over Marvin Gardens.
548
00:21:21,731 --> 00:21:24,201
- We don't want to put this dog in that situation,
- See?
549
00:21:24,301 --> 00:21:27,170
subject him to possible, you
know, bestiality or whatnot.
550
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:30,039
So who's gonna give
me $10,000 for the dog?
551
00:21:30,139 --> 00:21:32,709
How many of us think he
can do this for $10,000?
552
00:21:32,809 --> 00:21:35,445
Right? Come on. What are you
gonna do? Everybody's watching you.
553
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:39,649
- Boom. $10,000. Going once, twice,
- Oh!
554
00:21:39,749 --> 00:21:42,084
sold to the beautiful
lady in the blue dress.
555
00:21:42,185 --> 00:21:46,323
And that's the way it works. We
just saved a dog from getting fucked.
556
00:21:46,423 --> 00:21:48,191
All right. Yeah, that
was it. That was it.
557
00:21:48,291 --> 00:21:49,859
That was something else, right?
558
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:53,696
And without further ado, the
man of the hour, Cam Calloway.
559
00:21:53,796 --> 00:21:58,201
My baby!
560
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,910
Thank you all for
coming out and showing up
561
00:22:02,911 --> 00:22:04,274
for people who need our help.
562
00:22:04,374 --> 00:22:05,842
I really love how you guys
were showing up tonight.
563
00:22:08,177 --> 00:22:11,414
We got DJ Hopey Frolic in the
house to get your feet moving
564
00:22:11,514 --> 00:22:13,516
in about a half an hour. I
hope you can stay for that.
565
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:16,553
Hopey! Hopey!
566
00:22:16,653 --> 00:22:19,589
We here at the Calloway
Philanthropic Trust
567
00:22:19,689 --> 00:22:22,425
are not afraid to face
life's difficulties head on.
568
00:22:22,525 --> 00:22:25,395
Mass incarceration,
congenital disorders,
569
00:22:25,495 --> 00:22:27,697
and clean water for
the poverty-stricken.
570
00:22:27,797 --> 00:22:30,867
Now this is the time of the night
where someone would usually come up
571
00:22:30,967 --> 00:22:32,735
and talk about the causes,
ask for a little more money,
572
00:22:32,835 --> 00:22:35,472
try to sweat your feelings
for a little extra cash.
573
00:22:35,572 --> 00:22:37,607
But I don't think it's
enough to just talk about it.
574
00:22:37,707 --> 00:22:40,109
I want to put you in it.
I want to give you a taste
575
00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:41,611
of what it's like to walk, not a mile,
576
00:22:41,711 --> 00:22:44,481
just five minutes in
somebody else's shoes,
577
00:22:44,581 --> 00:22:46,583
so that you can see
what these people see.
578
00:22:46,683 --> 00:22:49,919
Live what they live.
Feel what they feel.
579
00:22:50,019 --> 00:22:53,556
This is the time to ask yourself
are you ready to stand up
580
00:22:53,656 --> 00:22:55,909
and be counted as an ally
581
00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:58,194
to those who a lot of
people have left behind.
582
00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:01,197
So, it's time for us to
leave our world for a moment
583
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:04,401
and travel to a world of those who need.
584
00:23:04,501 --> 00:23:07,504
We got some cutting-edge
virtual reality technology
585
00:23:07,604 --> 00:23:09,572
my friend Chen and I have been
working on for quite some time
586
00:23:09,672 --> 00:23:12,575
that's about to blow your minds.
587
00:23:12,675 --> 00:23:13,910
So go ahead and put your goggles on.
588
00:23:18,515 --> 00:23:21,551
- Wait until you see the final tweaks I did.
- I'm excited.
589
00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:25,555
Chen, cue the video and the music.
590
00:23:32,529 --> 00:23:33,930
Who here likes apple pie?
591
00:23:36,399 --> 00:23:38,968
You can smell it, can't you?
592
00:23:39,068 --> 00:23:40,470
Well, you couldn't if you
had Frozen Nostril Syndrome.
593
00:23:40,570 --> 00:23:42,705
Aww.
594
00:23:42,805 --> 00:23:46,943
Even if it was a real pie,
you can't smell or breathe.
595
00:23:47,043 --> 00:23:49,108
Kids born with Frozen Nostril Syndrome
596
00:23:49,109 --> 00:23:50,547
make the worst cry you've ever heard.
597
00:23:50,647 --> 00:23:53,215
This is the cry of a kid
born without nostrils.
598
00:23:54,351 --> 00:23:55,652
That's what it feels like
599
00:23:55,752 --> 00:23:58,254
inside a Frozen Nostril kid's head.
600
00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:00,790
We have to help them.
601
00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:02,459
And we have to help the incarcerated.
602
00:24:02,559 --> 00:24:04,827
This is my bitch!
603
00:24:04,927 --> 00:24:06,796
Are there people in
there who deserve to be?
604
00:24:06,896 --> 00:24:09,198
Sure.
605
00:24:09,298 --> 00:24:13,470
But our humanity is directly
tied to how humane we are.
606
00:24:13,570 --> 00:24:16,005
Today's prisons are
an unregulated war zone
607
00:24:16,105 --> 00:24:17,407
of physical and mental violence.
608
00:24:17,507 --> 00:24:19,275
Oh, shit, look out!
609
00:24:20,777 --> 00:24:22,679
In order to rehabilitate,
610
00:24:22,779 --> 00:24:25,014
- What was that?
- we must reform how we educate and house.
611
00:24:25,114 --> 00:24:27,484
Otherwise, it's death to us all.
612
00:24:29,419 --> 00:24:30,653
Punch him! Pu... punch him back!
613
00:24:30,753 --> 00:24:32,455
Fuck! Stab that motherfucker!
614
00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:34,724
Get 'em. Whack...
whack that motherfucker!
615
00:24:34,824 --> 00:24:36,225
- Ay-ay-yi-yi.
- Take him out, guards!
616
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,328
Fuck, ma! Ma! They're shooting!
617
00:24:39,429 --> 00:24:40,897
Where are you? Where are you?
618
00:24:40,997 --> 00:24:42,699
- Okay, I'm right here, baby! I'm right here!
- Let's go!
619
00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:45,267
Oh, this is fucking awesome.
620
00:24:45,368 --> 00:24:48,004
Too many Americans live
lives in hopeless poverty.
621
00:24:48,104 --> 00:24:50,673
Every year a sleeping
baby has a finger or thumb
622
00:24:50,773 --> 00:24:52,875
gnawed off by filthy city rats.
623
00:24:54,143 --> 00:24:55,177
Is that a hand?
624
00:24:57,714 --> 00:24:59,816
Millions more face starvation.
625
00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:02,184
They're forced to find whatever
they can to feed their families.
626
00:25:02,284 --> 00:25:04,554
- That's the shit.
- Fuck! This shit is horrible!
627
00:25:04,654 --> 00:25:06,743
Chemical by-products of
first-world conveniences
628
00:25:06,744 --> 00:25:07,824
- cause horrible genetic mutations.
- Cam, what... what are you thinking?
629
00:25:07,824 --> 00:25:09,459
Wait, come on. You're gonna miss it.
630
00:25:09,559 --> 00:25:11,494
Maggot-infested water is the only thing
631
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:12,895
some people have to drink.
632
00:25:12,995 --> 00:25:15,398
Maggots is just baby
flies. Get the Raid out.
633
00:25:15,498 --> 00:25:18,501
Only we can make it stop.
634
00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:24,907
No!
635
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:32,381
Get over here!
636
00:25:37,153 --> 00:25:38,655
What the fuck were you thinking?
637
00:25:38,755 --> 00:25:40,657
I wanted to hit them in their guts.
638
00:25:40,757 --> 00:25:42,459
Well, you completely
overdid it with the video.
639
00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:45,294
We could have shown The
Human Centipede in 3-D
640
00:25:45,394 --> 00:25:47,964
- and fewer people would have puked.
- How did you fuck this up?
641
00:25:48,064 --> 00:25:50,032
How did I fuck this up?
642
00:25:50,132 --> 00:25:51,413
I'm a professional athlete.
643
00:25:51,414 --> 00:25:52,969
The product of the American
culture of idolatry,
644
00:25:53,069 --> 00:25:55,472
which means I am no longer
capable of sound judgment.
645
00:25:55,572 --> 00:25:56,939
When I'm right, I'm right.
646
00:25:57,039 --> 00:25:59,476
When I'm wrong, I'm right,
and my people are wrong
647
00:25:59,576 --> 00:26:01,744
for foolishly trusting me
to do something on my own
648
00:26:01,844 --> 00:26:03,513
without a normal person there
to tell me what should be done.
649
00:26:03,613 --> 00:26:05,582
How am I supposed to know that?
650
00:26:05,682 --> 00:26:08,685
- Reggie should have told you.
- Hey, I'm not stepping in here, but...
651
00:26:08,785 --> 00:26:10,487
He talked for hours and
never said that shit!
652
00:26:10,587 --> 00:26:12,421
Well, I would have eventually got to it,
653
00:26:12,522 --> 00:26:14,824
but you rushed me, M...
wait, ooh, excuse me.
654
00:26:17,026 --> 00:26:18,595
Ugh.
655
00:26:18,695 --> 00:26:20,096
I thought that if I went too far,
656
00:26:20,196 --> 00:26:21,564
you would have stopped me.
657
00:26:21,664 --> 00:26:23,833
You told me not to look at the video!
658
00:26:23,933 --> 00:26:26,636
- You expressly said...
- What did I say, Missy?
659
00:26:26,736 --> 00:26:28,638
"Missy, I got this. Walk away!"
660
00:26:28,738 --> 00:26:32,027
"I got this, walk away,"
means don't go anywhere
661
00:26:32,028 --> 00:26:33,476
until you make sure I got this.
662
00:26:33,576 --> 00:26:36,212
- Stop yelling at me!
- I'm not yelling at you!
663
00:26:36,312 --> 00:26:38,481
I'm yelling at myself by yelling at you!
664
00:26:38,581 --> 00:26:40,349
Two completely different
kinds of yelling!
665
00:26:40,449 --> 00:26:41,684
Well, I can't tell the difference!
666
00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:44,120
Hey, how fucking great is this, huh?
667
00:26:44,220 --> 00:26:45,421
What?
668
00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:48,024
Look around! Everyone's donating.
669
00:26:48,124 --> 00:26:51,260
They're emptying both their
stomachs and their wallets.
670
00:26:51,460 --> 00:26:53,362
All's well that ends well.
671
00:26:53,462 --> 00:26:56,966
Hey, how great were those maggots
eating that zebra carcass, huh?
672
00:26:57,066 --> 00:26:59,702
I got fucking good people.
673
00:26:59,802 --> 00:27:02,839
Missy, this is great!
674
00:27:02,939 --> 00:27:06,075
Yo, way to be, girl!
This is fucking awesome!
675
00:27:09,712 --> 00:27:12,214
I have a new respect
for what you go through.
676
00:27:12,314 --> 00:27:14,651
And that's all I'm saying.
677
00:27:14,751 --> 00:27:16,653
Oh, excuse me.
678
00:27:17,790 --> 00:27:22,790
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
55198
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