All language subtitles for Survivors.Remorse.S03E09.HDTV.x264-FLEET

- Yeah.
- You serious?

I had my last test of the
season before the Philly game.

- Yo, Coach.
- Coach Healey.

To what do I owe this pleasure?

Just taking the time to see
one of our favorite people.

This truck hasn't moved
since we had it delivered.

Yo, Coach needs surgery. Set it up.

Do you know how much lipo has
to be suctioned out of that man?

Ma, I'm worried about Mary Charles.

We know my father is a deadbeat.

We don't even know who her father is.

Great coffee. It's smooth, yet biting.

- It is the pour-over style.
- Ah.

No extra aeration so it
don't fuck up your shits.

Oh, well, however 'twas rendered,

whatever its rectal rewards,
I would love some more.

Guys, what is this meeting
about? And why isn't Reggie here?

This ain't Reggie's
business. It's my business.

But I need you to approve
what it's gonna cost.

Okay.

I need a private investigator.

Beckwith, do you know any good ones?

Good meaning ethical? No.

What the hell you need a PI for?

Be quiet. I thought Ma
would be in China by now

and I don't want her
walking in and hearing this.

I gotta find my father. I
am fed up with not knowing.

I can get that answer out of Ma.

You can't. You haven't.

We only really just started trying.

You don't know who your father is?

- I do not.
- Does your mother know?

She is the one who fucked him.

Were her eyes open?

I'm sorry. These thoughts
just come reflexively.

Uh, I should not indulge.

Now, when Ma put her DNA
into TraceYourBloodline.com,

she didn't find out all the
things she could find out.

I could submit my DNA and
there's all this other shit

way more complex than just finding out

what country your ancestors
got kidnapped from.

You can allow them to put your
DNA into this massive database,

and if other people put in
theirs, they'll connect you.

And then you can link up
with them and email them

and find out the truth
of your family tree.

There's other ways to get to the truth,

a truth I hope will set me free.

It's also a truth that might
bring a fuckload of new people

into our orbit that we would
rather just stay back in their own

undiscovered galaxies living
their private alien lives.

I could find cousins and relatives

that could help piece
this thing together for me.

A... and then the private
investigator can vet these folks

and the ones that are cool can help
me narrow down who my father is.

And wouldn't it be great to
meet all these half-cousins?

You have all these great
half-cousins you don't know.

- They'll be your half-cousins.
- If I got half-cousins, you got half-cousins.

- They would be on your dad's side.
- But we got the same mom.

- But you each have different fathers?
- Yes.

- But he knows who his is.
- Haven't seen him in decades.

Uh, I will hire a borderline ethical
private investigator on your behalf.

When your discussions reach
a conclusion, give me a call.

Thanks for the coffee.
I'll return the mug.

- Thanks for coming.
- Hope I don't shit in the car!

Cam.

Oh, Chuck, okay, look, a... a PI?

- Let... let me just think about it.
- Cam, I am trying.

I am really trying, but I need
you to stop and listen to me.

Baby half-brother, Ma
ain't ever gonna tell me.

And trying to reconcile
the truth of that fact,

it makes shit get scary in my head.

Chuck, I'm not saying that at your age

you shouldn't know the answer.

I am saying that the
answer won't make you you.

And you're an amazing person.

Sister, not... not half-sister.

Full-on. You are my sister.

Who I love. The past is the past.

You know, whatever the past
is, it's just... it's prologue.

It's not the full story of you,
just where the story started.

But the prologue is a part of the story

and that is why they
put it at the beginning.

And not knowing the beginning of a story

is like walking into the movies late.

You're just sitting there going,
"What the fuck is going on?"

That's me.

I feel like I am walking in late

to the movie of my own life.

I got no idea how my story starts.

And it's fucking me up.

Must be hard starting a beautiful day

picnicking with your wife.

It's frivolous, but I will endure.

- You just closed a deal.
- Yeah.

It is important for you
to relax and celebrate.

- I enjoy celebrating.
- Mm-hmm.

I just like doing it at home in the bed

or in the shower.

Find us a spot to celebrate here.

You'd do that? Out... outside?

Okay, you're right. Outside's not great.

No, no, no, no, no. Outside
is... is... is perfect.

Outside in nature doing,
you know, what comes natural.

Our ancestors, they did it outside

for millions of years
before there was an inside.

Are you serious? Or are you
playing with me? 'Cause I'm ready.

- I'm serious.
- All right, nature calls.

I'm feeling very outdoorsy.

I'ma find us a spot. I'll be right back.

Check for poison ivy.

Okay.

This is Missy.

- Missy Vaughn?
- Yes. Who's calling?

It's Trent Vaughn, Reggie's dad.

I'm in Atlanta. I don't know what
he told you, but I'm sober now.

Been sober for a while.
I got five years now.

I'd like to see him, make amends.

Um, he told me long ago never to
call him and I'm respecting that,

so I'm calling you to...
to get him a message.

How did you get my number?

It's a modern world.
I'm an industrious man.

Men like me get numbers.

Well, lose this one.

Hey, baby, I found a spot.

I found a spot. I found
a spot. Let's pack up.

Okay, oh, how I do love a picnic.

Okay, my little churrins,
Mama is off to China...

Land of rice, textiles,
and no black people.

Have a safe flight, Ma. Enjoy the dogs.

That is an urban myth.

Google would beg to differ.

All right, Cam, going on a run.

If I'm not back in an hour,
I'm either dead or kidnapped.

Chen, would you mind if I actually
had a quick second with Ma?

Good luck in the first
round. Go ham, Cam.

The more buckets you drop, the
more of my sneakers you sell,

the richer we both get.

Hey, amen to that.

Baby, can you believe
it? I am off to China.

If my grandparents could
see me now. This is crazy.

Ma, I know you said that
this topic was off-limits,

but M-Chuck not knowing who her dad is

has got her really jammed up.

When we were kids, we didn't ask because

you said you weren't
gonna give us any answers.

But we're not kids anymore.

And it's cruel for you
to keep that from her.

Do you not love her enough to
just tell her who her dad is?

Step right over there.

Why do we gotta step over there?

Well, since you're out here
telling everybody to tell the truth,

why don't you step away from
the car and step over here

where you hear it?

Ma, we... we don't got to do this now.

- We can do it when you get back.
- Nah, fuck that.

Let's go.

Ma, don't get like this.

Shut up and listen to what
you're demanding to now know.

I was 15.

I drove with my friends
to a party on Long Island.

I shouldn't have went, but I did.

I drank.

I got separated from my friends.

I got driven to another party.

At that party, a bunch
of boys ran a train on me.

What?

I was raped

by a bunch of boys.

Nobody that I knew before then.

But your sister was
conceived that night.

Oh, my God.

Ain't no time for no huggy shit.

I can't tell her who her father is

because I don't even know
who was in the fucking room.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm not.

You mess with life,
life messes with you.

I shouldn't have snuck
off to Long Island

thinking I was all that,
thinking I was the shit.

I shouldn't have drank that much liquor.

I shouldn't have trusted
boys that I didn't know.

But you know what? I
made my peace with it

and that peace is
never talking about it.

And this is the last time that I will.

Did you report it to the police?

I mean, did they ever
try to find out who...

Oh, my God.

You know, you're funny. You know that?

You are really funny.

Son, you are talented,

driven, and now deservedly rich.

But when you poor and you look like me

and lived where I lived,

what gets done to you and how

don't matter to nobody.

Fuck, it can't even matter to me

or else I will fall apart.

Told you you didn't want to know.

But now you do.

Do with it what you will,

but don't ever fucking tell me
that I don't love my daughter.

As long as I'm on this
piece-of-shit Earth,

I know one thing, that I do.

Enjoy the rest of your day, son.

- Reggie.
- Yes, baby?

When you were off looking for
this spot, your father called.

What?

When you ran off, uh, Trent Vaughn...

Called just now on your phone?

- A man named Trent said...
- He... he has your number?

How he got it, I don't know.

Said he was industrious.

He probably found out
about Cam's new deal.

Now he wants to come
running up for a handout.

Or should I say a pie-eyed,
piss-stinking drunk

wobbling up for a handout?

He said he's sober. He
wants to make amends.

Hand me your phone, please.

He's in Atlanta.

Well, there's an erection killer.

Sorry. Let's just head home.

We'll pick up with this a bit later.

Ooh, thank God for runner's high.

I am flying. I'm gonna take a shower,

then I'm gonna go see my therapist,

and then I got a hot
date with this chick me

when I was registering
for my summer classes.

She has got this ass I am going
to propose I eat dinner off of.

Oh, and I hope she accepts my proposal

because this ass of hers
has probably got those,

like, tiger stripe stretch marks on
the side right on the hind quarters.

Now, I've never seen it before,
but, can't have an ass that big

and not have tiger stripe
stretch marks, all right?

You good?

Mm-hmm.

All right. Well...

look, uh, sorry for
all that stuff earlier.

The emotional stuff. It, you know...

Just forget about that, you know?

I feel good. I feel great.

So, uh, hey, three
weeks, no Ma in the house.

Hallelujah, right?

Let's throw a party.

I think I'll, uh, head
over to the Calloways.

Need to work out at the gym.

Want me get an Uber?

No, want you to get a Uber.

I'll drop you off. I
mean, I got to change.

I'm just saying I need to go to the gym.

- You want to talk about this?
- No, I don't.

- I'm here.
- I know you are.

I want to know you. All of you.

How you feel. How you hurt.

I can take on some of that hurt for you.

I don't want to talk about it right now.

But I just think if you knew

how comforting it could
be to talk about your past

and get those things out,
the shitty stuff that...

I need you to understand

that I don't want to talk
about this right now, okay?

Okay.

You know the word cunt?

I do. Not a fan.

My father was and will forever be

the incarnation of that word.

That's all you need to know.

Meet me in the gym an
hour after practice.

- We working on my free throws?
- I got a key.

We can sneak in after they lock
up and have some private time.

I love you.

Seriously, I do.

I love you.

I love you.

- I want you.
- You got me.

Shh.

- Don't shh me.
- Yeah, shh.

I can't... I can't hold it much longer.

Shh. You're so loud.

What the fuck?!

Dad? Coach?

Get dressed!

- This is my daughter.
- I know.

- This is my star player who's practically my son.
- I know.

This is like finding my
son and daughter having sex.

You know how fucking creepy that is?

Dad, it's totally not
like brother-sister sex.

- Don't say that!
- No, Coach, she's right.

The sex that we been having is totally
not weird. It's been really nice.

- Yeah, tender and loving.
- It's been totally sweet and...

Stop talking!

How long has this been going on?

Well, we were going at it about
10 minutes until you came in...

The relationship, if
you can call it that.

- Months.
- Months?

- I love her.
- Good to know.

- I love him, Dad.
- Enough with the both of you.

Are you using protection?

- Mostly.
- Mostly?! Terrific.

- We're both totally clean.
- Yeah.

I don't want to hear this. Mostly?

Criminy Dutch!

Lindsay, Cam, listen to
me. Listen to me closely.

Your bodies at this age are
good at making two things,

zits and babies.

Zits happen whether you like it or not.

Babies, that takes some fucking effort.

- We're being careful.
- Being careful isn't good enough.

You've got to be vigilant

because this thing
that's being exchanged,

this thing that is motivating
the congress between you two,

this is the stuff that
makes human beings.

The stuff that makes you and you and me,

that's what this stuff is.

It's human TNT.

And I'm not saying to keep having sex,

but if you do, use
protection every fucking time.

Not mostly. Mostly isn't
even in the conversation.

- Am I grounded?
- Oh, yeah.

Lord, make me an
instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Praying while doing drugs?
That's some contradictory shit.

Who are you?

I think you know.

I... I don't.

Um, do you see me?

Yes.

Then say, "I see you, son
that almost was, but wasn't."

Okay, these are Kevlar vests

I borrowed from my cop friends.

- Put 'em on.
- What for?

What fucking for? We're
walking into an abortion clinic.

I don't know if you've heard, but
some people don't think it's cool.

- Dad, isn't this a little much?
- Roe vs. Wade.

You ever hear of Roe vs.
Wade? It's Roe versus Wade.

Not Roe and Wade hold hands
running through the goddamn meadow!

People in there, doctors, nurses,

people who are just like the
people who will help you in there

died so you have this right.

Respect the freedom you have by
respecting the fervent opposition

others in the world have
to you having this right.

Now, I'm just gonna say this 'cause
it wouldn't be right if I didn't.

Does anyone have any second thoughts?

I'm not ready to be a mother yet.

Cam, you guys are in love.

People in love have the right
to speak up about how they feel.

Speak up if you disagree.

I...

- support Lindsay.
- I got to get out of the car.

Wait a minute, we haven't checked
to see if the coast is clear yet.

They can shoot me if they want.

Grab your vest, for God's sakes!

- Baby killers!
- Duck!

How'd you get in here?

I've always been here inside your head.

Now I'm outside your head.
That's the grace of drugs.

They open and expand minds.

What was stuck gets unstuck.

Wow, so this is where
I would have lived, huh?

It's like a castle fit for
a king and his little prince.

Eh, too bad. I think we would
have been good for each other.

What the fuck?

That's exactly what I was saying when
you guys were driving to the clinic.

I was like, "Come on,
dawg, give me my shot."

Of course, I couldn't really
speak, but even if I could speak,

you wouldn't have been able to hear me.

Mom's uterus was like a bomb
shelter, or so I thought.

- Oh, my God.
- Don't say that.

He doesn't like it when you call after
him unless you really, really need him.

- You don't know that.
- You don't know that I don't know that.

You aren't real.

And whose fault is that?

Consensus would say not mine.

- Lindsay wasn't ready to be a mom.
- Yeah, I heard her.

I had just gotten into
college on scholarship.

First in my family
to ever go to college.

Oh, yeah, all that studying
you couldn't wait to do.

Look, I'm just busting balls.

You guys decided I wasn't
meant to be, no biggie.

Remember me for what I was,
nothing but a cell mass.

Sure, with a heartbeat and
a brain and possibly a soul.

No one will know for sure until
the world ends, but why split hairs?

I was terminated before
I had any hair to split.

I can make that joke, you can't.

I didn't have a say in the matter.

Are you sure? Lindsay loved you.

I'll grant that according to
the courts you didn't have a do,

but I think you might have had a say.

I mean, you have a
voice. What did you say?

I was supporting her.

"Uh, I was supporting her.
I mean, it wasn't my fault.

I'm a really supportive boyfriend.

It's just a fetus.

It's not a baby, it's a fetus."

You're making me feel guilty.

I cannot make you feel anything.

This is your subconscious on drugs.

This is you talking to you.

And maybe you're not feeling
guilty. You're just feeling.

- Don't let anyone guilt-shame you.
- I don't know what that is.

Some people might want to make
you feel shame about feeling guilt,

but maybe guilt or so-called guilt
just comes with the territory.

You know, regrets, processing,
missing, whatever the case.

If you feel guilty, keep it to yourself.

People start speaking up about
regrets on stuff like this,

they start taking away women's rights.

And we don't need to backslide on that.

History's been tough enough on women.

Technically, I am history.

I'm so sorry.

Gestation talks, bullshit walks.

No use crying over spilled colostrum,

especially when you
don't have tear ducts.

Moving on to nothing.

Best of success to, what would it be,

my... my half-brother.

I'm sure he'll be wanted,

which is half the battle, let's face it.

You were wanted. You were wanted.

- Just not at that second.
- Does that help you sleep at night?

Don't listen to him, Cam.

Look, he's trying to guilt-trip you.

Life is complicated. Look at me.

I was minding my own business
looking for some grass to eat

and, boom, Julius shot me
dead with a nickel-plated .45.

Yes, but animals don't have souls.

That's why we eat them
and use them for clothing.

Fuck you! You think you're
the center of the universe?

- I'm a fetus, that's what I'm supposed to think.
- Read a book.

This is so fucked up.

Hey, is it reasonable for
a father to love a son?

- Of course.
- Then it's reasonable for a father

to miss the son that
never was, ain't it?

Throw me some headphones. I
can't listen to this shit no more.

Ah!

Reg, I don't know where you're at,

but I smoked some really bad
shit and it is fucking me up.

So if you get a chance, will
you please come to Julius' room?

I am sinking into a fucking beanbag.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, what the fuck are you doing?

- You're melting.
- It's sweat.

- Help me.
- Okay, come on.

- Come on. What did you do?
- Drugs.

- What did you do?
- I did drugs.

Fucking Uncle Julius.

You all right? You down now?

Yeah, yes. Thanks, Reg.

Thank God you had your last piss test.

You got your playoffs coming
up, man. What were you thinking?

- I wasn't thinking.
- Hey.

We gotta leave Uncle J's
stuff where Uncle J's stuff is.

All I did was smoke a joint.
It had to have been laced.

What about this?

Yeah, I ate two of those
little minty things.

You ate two of these
little minty things?

These little minty things are LSD.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Man, we gotta fucking
throw all this stuff out.

I agree. All should be thrown out.

Just don't let them incinerate
it or half of Georgia

is gonna be flipping its shit.

No, half of Georgia will be all right

if they just don't eat
these little green things.

Especially two of
them. Now, are you good?

No. I just hallucinated
a fucking talking fetus

with little slit eyes and
shit and they were blinking

and he... he'd tilt his head to the side

and just knew all this
shit that was in my mind.

- I fucking... shit was smart.
- Hey! Hey! Hey!

I've been hearing this for
the last three hours, man.

I've been trying to calm you down. Okay?

I gotta... I gotta head home.

- You need to talk?
- No, I need to not talk.

- I hear you.
- I'll check on you later, man.

Get to bed.

- Hello?
- Lindsay, it's Cam Calloway.

Cam! Hi.

Uh, this is a nice surprise.

It's so nice to hear your voice.

Yours, too. How's Seattle?

It's great. I love my new job.

We're gonna be going public soon.

How's your dad doing?

Amazing. What you did for him,

getting him that surgery,
it was really sweet.

You changed his life.

Thanks to you, he's
recovering and doing so well.

- He's like a new man.
- Cool.

Oh, he loves the truck, by the way.

He says, "Now that I can fucking
fit in it, I can fucking drive it."

He's a great man.

As are you.

Very generous.

Yeah, I'm not feeling so great lately.

What are you talking about?

I follow the news on your
foundation, your team.

You guys are in the
playoffs. You're doing great.

Not always.

Yeah, um, I'm sorry about your uncle.

I meant to send a
note and I should have.

He was always really nice to me.

Lindsay,

I'm sorry about how things
went in high school with us.

We were young, Cam.

Do you ever think about
what might have happened?

I'm happy with my life, Cam.

You should be, too.

We have a lot to be happy with.

What's this all about?

No, I've... I've been thinking a lot

about some things.

Life, parents, choices.

I'm feeling bad about my
voice in those choices.

Not raising it. Not saying nothing.

Not speaking up.

I'm sorry I didn't encourage
you to keep the baby.

Cam, it was my choice to make

and I made the right choice.

You can't feel guilty about it.

Then why do I?

Hey, baby bro.

Had a great therapy
session, I will tell you.

Then I had a great meal with a chick

who I let go home without
making her sleep with me.

I am making progress.

And I feel like smoking a bowl. You?

No.

All right, suit yourself.

- M-Chuck.
- Yeah?

I talked to Mom.

I got something I need to tell you.

What?

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