Original subtitles

TILDA: There's a park, Dad.

- Disco. - Nuh.

- Country. - No.

- Punk. - What?!

Soul R'n'B.

You're scared because you think Mum and Abi's band

will win the talent quest.

(SCOFFS) They're not a band. We're a band.

What's this clown doing?

(BEEPS HORN)

Dad!

Just give me a sec.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ON PHONE)

That was my spot you took.

6:00am. Yeah, book me in.

Hey, I'm talking to you, pal!

- (HORN TOOTS) - Oh, keep your shirt on!

(HORNS BEEP)

Hello, old mate.

Hey, I'm gonna catch up with you in a little bit, all right?

(LAUGHS) It's a long time, no see.

- Come here, big hugs. Come here. - Hey!

- What are you doing? - Come to visit.

Where you been?

- I'm a teacher now. I don't wanna... - Where's my 15 grand?

- 12. - No, no, no.

It's 15 with interest.

Yeah, I've got it. I mean, not on me, obviously.

- Go get it. I'll wait here. - I can't. I'm teaching.

- I'll give you a day. - Hey, Nick! You ready?

Rehearsal this morning.

Nepean South Parents. We've got talent.

- Are you joining? - What?

The fund raiser.

We're having a talent quest. We're raising money for the school.

No. Actually, Nick's good at that, raising money, eh?

- He's leading the charge on this one. - Ha. Good man.

Dad! Kick it here!

Kick it to me! Kick it to me!

Ooh!

Why didn't you catch it?

I didn't know you were gonna kick it.

- Well, you were looking right at me. - I was staring at the parking thief.

- Who? - The Muppet that took my car space.

Are we ready? Nepean South Parents have got talent!

- Yeah, I don't think I have any. - You don't.

- Neither does he. - Oh, cheers.

- Our last rehearsal sucked. - Yeah, that's why we need Nick.

Come on, let's rock!

An overdraft. $3,000.

Are you kidding?

I have been a customer with your bank since I was 10 years old.

Yes, I can email you payslips, tax returns. No, today. I need it today.

(SIGHS) Yes, you can put me on hold, but can you not...

..play that awful music?

- What is a seven chord? - I'm short.

What are you talking about? You're quite tall.

Teach me the chords.

Three grand and I'll teach you anything.

Nick, seriously, we need this talent quest to go well.

It is the biggest fund raiser of the year.

(STRUMS RANDOM STRINGS)

And you, my friend, are the linchpin.

The what?

The one who pulls it all together, makes it happen,

gets the parents all pumped and the donations pouring in.

(STRUMS RANDOM STRINGS) Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wow, wow!

(TUNELESSLY) Whoa-oh...

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Justin! It's awful.

I thought it was sounding all right.

- Are you out of your mind? - No, it's coming together.

- Nick. Nick! - Oh, yeah. It... it'll get there.

- Look, I don't think I can do this. - Oh, come on! It's raising money.

Can't I just donate?

- I'm just super busy at the moment. - We're all busy, mate.

What are you busy with?

A lot of things.

Oh.

- Well, that was... - (FEEDBACK)

- Mark! What are you... - Sorry! I'm sorry.

Gentlemen, you can't do this now.

We can be more quiet. I can turn it down.

It's class time. Forget it.

Well, you're in the girls' band. That's a total conflict of interest.

I'm also trying to run a school. Shut it down!

- Nick. - Sorry.

Oh!

Guys, I've just gotta go and sort something out.

There's something I wanna show you first.

- No, I can't right now, Lewis. - I promise you you're gonna like it.

Only take a minute.

- The broken jaw in bed six...? - Gone to X-ray.

What is the second verse? Oh, it goes something like...

Don't worry, I'll remember.

Did you get the email from Rachel

with the chord and lyrics and some more band names?

Dr Crabb, the lady in bed two, she's complaining.

Is that Mrs Edson? I've treated her before.

She's Dr Crabb's patient. She can deal with her.

- What's this about a band? - Sorry?

I heard you talking. Is this the fund raiser for the school?

The 'Our Parents Have Got Talent Quest'?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

What do you reckon?

- It's a building. - It's more than that.

It's the new headquarters of the Jam Pit.

The new premium in after-school care and intuitive musical training.

Yeah, it's a bit of a mouthful but they're Rachel's words, not mine.

Anyway, this is it.

I reckon it's great.

There's a really good space in there.

The bathroom's down there.

There's a kitchenette here.

Bit of soundproofing, bit of work... Robert's your uncle.

Don't knock yourself out with excitement.

No, I've just got a lot going on... right now.

Don't tell me you've gone cold on the idea.

It's an expensive business to set up.

I mean, you need instruments, amplifiers, PA equipment...

Yeah, you'll take care of that. That's what Rachel said.

Oh, really?!

That's a lot of money up front.

Unless you're willing to advance me a loan?

- How much? - Three grand.

Ooh.

Nuh, I'm your partner, not your patron.

- You all right? - Yeah, yeah.

I'm just gonna go home and sit for a while.

You know I used to rock the mic?

What?

Four nights a week on stage.

That's how I earned my living back in the day.

Vocals, harmonies, I've got 'em all.

Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

Rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham

Rock my soul Oh, rock my soul...

I'm not kidding. She sang at me.

- Toni? - Uh-huh.

- She any good? - I don't even know. Maybe.

I was too weirded out to listen properly.

- Look at this. What do you think? - Love it.

Hey! Is this a rehearsal? Dress-ups. Secret band business.

It's all happening.

- As I was just telling Dr Albert... - (MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

..before she got all stage-frighty on me,

I could be your X factor.

Excuse me.

Hi. Lewis. Hello?

I'm in pain. Downstairs.

- In the lounge room? - (SIGHS)

I got a footy kicked into my nuts.

Oh. Oh, baby, that's gotta hurt.

Yeah, it did.

And it's still hurting hours later.

Put some ice on them.

You seriously want me to put ice on my...

Yeah, you know what, Lewis? I've gotta go.

I've got patients here.

Hey, Nick, you got a minute?

Uh, not really. Is it... is it urgent?

Look, I just think what you're doing with the music class, it's fantastic.

Poppy's raving about it. All the kids are.

You're obviously gifted as a teacher

and the rehearsals, they just remind me how... how great music is.

Thanks, mate. I really appreciate the feedback.

I just think you and the Jam Pit have enormous potential.

And I... I wanna get seriously involved.

I mean, you are involved. You and Rachel are doing the marketing.

No, I wanna go beyond that. I really believe in this venture.

I want to invest in it.

I know it's your idea, it's your thing,

but how much do you think it would cost to have a slice of the business?

Three grand. That'd get you in on the ground floor.

- Three grand? - Yeah, that would really help.

Right, just, uh... Just...

- Yeah, I think I can do that. - Great.

Could you do it now?

- Huh? - While your enthusiasm's bubbling.

- Wow, you don't mess around. - No.

Strike while the iron's hot.

Kyle, it's me. I got what you need. I can meet you anywhere, any time.

Ooh, I gotta go.

Hey, Atticus, my man! What's going on?

- Where's your mum? - She's in her room.

I think she's crying.

Rach?

(SIGHS)

Hey...

I'm fine. Promise. It's nothing.

What is it? Tell me.

(SIGHS) My stupid ex-husband stopped paying his share of the mortgage.

What? When?

Oh, he stopped months ago. I've been making up the difference.

But then I lost my job and tried to refinance

and, today, the bank said no.

Oh, Rach.

I'm so sorry.

He's left me in so much debt.

How much?

(SIGHS) A lot.

Well, you've got your new business with Mark, so...

I know, I know, but we've only just started,

we're not gonna make money for a while yet.

I'm gonna have to think about selling the house.

Oh, no, you can't.

It's okay, time to... time to downsize.

What about Atticus?

He loves it here.

It's all right, I'll sort it out.

I've got 15 grand in cash.

- What? - $15,000.

You can have it right now if you want.

I'm not gonna take money from you.

You can pay me back... whenever.

Oh, Nick.

BUZZ: You're alive. I thought you'd maybe joined a monastery.

Look, I wanna get a poker game going.

Five grand entry, invite only.

You, me, three or four others.

Your mate that got banned from the casino.

I don't know, Nick. I thought you were over the whole thing.

- I never said that. - Yeah, you did.

You packed it in and just disappeared

and now suddenly you wanna start up again.

- So why the mad rush? - Why not?

Did Kyle find you?

I know he was looking for you.

Look, I don't want Kyle to know about the game, okay?

Are you in or not?

- Let me know when and where. - Good man.

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Hello?

Lewis?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh!

- Are you okay? - Course I am.

Are you sure? You seem a little weird.

I'm all good.

- What are you sitting on? - Nothing.

Yes, you are.

Nothing!

Frozen peas?

I don't feel well.

- He's got pain in his testicles. - In the testicles! Where exactly?

What do you mean, "Where exactly?"

I mean right ball, left ball? Does it radiate?

Can you describe it? Is it definitely in your nut sack?

Yes! It's...

Where's Gemma? Can I see her?

No. She's your wife, she can't treat you.

- Justin, Lewis, what's going on? - He's hurt his gonads.

- (PHONE RINGS ON OTHER END) - Hello?

I thought I called Lewis.

Yeah, I'm answering his phone for him.

We're at the hospital.

The hospital? Is he all right?

He's, uh... He's indisposed.

I see thousands of people every year.

Yeah, not people you socialise with, go to movie nights with.

Movie nights? When did we last do a movie night?

- When did the pain start? - I told you.

- Well, how hard was the... - Ah!

- I don't want you touching me. - Alright.

I will find someone you have never met socially to examine you.

Are you sure you don't want me to cop a little feel?

- Hey, Lewis. - What are you doing here?

Yeah, Justin told me that you weren't... well. That's for you.

I don't need visitors. Thanks anyway.

- Are you okay though? How are the boys? - Oh, for crying out loud...

Okay, I'll leave you alone.

It's just that building that you showed me,

I've had a change of heart and I think we should lease it.

Nick...

I have certain other priorities right at this minute.

Sure, sure.

It's just that I spoke to the agent and he's emailed me the lease.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

And it's just a couple of signatures.

We can do this. Just gotta sign... sign there.

And one more.

There. That's it.

- You be straight with me. - Yeah.

Keep dockets, only use the tradespeople I recommend.

I'll write their numbers down for you.

Sure. Sure.

(LAUGHTER BEHIND CURTAIN)

Obviously, with the Jam Pit, we do targeted ads.

I've made a list of Facebook groups...

He's just so brilliant.

- The Facebook guy? - Nick.

Do you know he's also the kindest man I've ever met?

Uh, no... I did not know that.

- Are you... okay? - Hm? Sure. I'm peachy.

Apart from having my finances sabotaged

by my psychopath ex-husband.

- That's bad. - Let's not go there.

- No. - We have to make this business work.

- And we will. - We will.

You're, uh... looking at real estate.

It's Nick. He's found the perfect building for the Jam Pit.

- You know Manix is in town? - Oh, yeah?

He'd be keen. And he's a hopeless player.

Yeah, and he thinks he's amazing. Give him a call.

I see where you're going with this place.

Could be a regular venue.

Oh, no, mate, it's just a one-off.

You know, you gotta keep these things moving.

Gentlemen!

- Mark? - Nice building.

- Oh, g'day. Mark Oliver. - Buzz.

Hey, Buzz. You signing up? I mean, not you personally, but...

- Mark. - You have kids?

- Yeah, he's got two. - I've got three, actually.

- Three. - Are they musical?

- Do they play musical instruments? - French horn.

Yeah, and one of them plays he guitar and one of them plays... the drums?

Um, Buzz, I've gotta get on with this

so I'll probably give you a call in a bit.

- Good to meet you, Buzz. - You too, Mark.

French horn. Love it. Rocks.

Mark, what are you doing here?

I found the brochure at Rachel's. Can we go in and have a look?

Oh, no, no, I've got a meeting back at school now, so...

Oh, well, I was... I was looking online...

Yeah?

..And there's a government auction for musical instruments.

- Kind of a fire sale. - Oh, yeah, cool. Go for it.

Well, what do you think we need? Like, drums, amps...

Yeah, all of that. Whatever you think.

Don't you think you should be there to have a look?

No, you can handle it.

- Yeah, course I can. - Yeah.

Okay, I'll handle it.

Seeya.

Alright, results are in. Epididymitis.

- Epi... - Epididymitis.

It is an inflammation of the epididymis,

which is a little coil at the back of the testicle

that stores sperm.

Right.

It should clear up fairly quickly with antibiotics.

- Bloody Justin. - The footy might have made it worse.

Often it can be sexually transmitted.

Are you kidding?

I will get the antibiotics and something for the pain.

How are the plums?

Good.

- Any news? - No, not yet.

Fingers crossed you get the all clear.

- You comfy? - Mmm.

Excuse me, Jemma?

('THE MESSAGE' BY THE FEATURES PLAYS)

Hey, mate.

- No, it's definitely on. - Hey.

Oh, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Hey, I've picked up the auction catalogue.

I've highlighted a few items of interest.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I know you said to do it alone but you're the expert.

Yeah, look, don't trouble yourself.

No, I thought you might be able to do it.

You should come down there. There's a bass I'm thinking of bidding on.

Mark, for God's sake! Don't you have somewhere else do be?!

Something to do?

Oh... yeah, sure. I... Sorry.

- Mark... - No, it's all right. It's okay.

Just, um, do whatever you're doing. It's cool.

Hi. Thought you might be thirsty.

Epididymitis. I've got it.

Is your prostate okay?

Yeah, all good.

Abi think it might be sexually transmitted.

Right, well... well, it can be.

Well, it didn't come from my side of the bed. It didn't come from me.

Good to know.

So...

- Surely you are not suggesting... - Well, I haven't been playing around.

Well, you're the one with form in that department.

I've been at home. I've been stuck there.

While certain other people have been gallivanting around till all hours.

I have been working.

Have you?

(SCOFFS)

You know what? You're absolutely right.

I've been lying to you.

I've been out at parties. You know, just getting naked.

Alright, Lewis, here's your anti... biotics and, um, some pain relief.

He doesn't need painkillers, he's got a freezer full of frozen peas.

- Am I free to go? - Sure.

- Hey, little guy. What's cookin'? - I've got a penalty.

(LAUGHS) Really?

Well, I'm in the goal now. There's no way you can score.

Hit!

- Oh! - Yeah!

Oh, he did it! Ooo-aww!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

(HUMS)

Ooh! Hey.

Rockin', Rach.

- Am I even using this thing right? - Not really.

Hey, how'd you go with the mortgage?

Oh, you have no idea how good it feels to have some breathing space.

Thank you.

Try holding it with your other hand.

Oh! Well, that feels completely wrong.

Are you sure you're a music teacher?

If you're right-handed,

you hold it with the left and hit it with the dominant hand.

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.

I can't. I promised the guys I'd go to rehearsal.

You cannot be supporting the enemy.

If they're any good, you and me are finished.

(GRUNTS LOUDLY) I'm gonna have to sabotage them then.

- I think I could spare 10 minutes. - Ooh!

Hey!

- What's up? - What's up? You're out of time!

- You've been out of tune all night! - No, I haven't!

- I'm on antibiotics. - Well, what's your excuse?

Give me a minute.

- How's your nuts? - Better than they were.

Do you think Gemma's hot?

Huh?

- Objectively. Say we weren't mates. - Is this a trick question?

Just answer me! Truthfully.

Sure. She's smoking.

Sorry, guys.

You gonna be on your phone all night?

Oh, it was Looby wanting help with the girls' band.

They any good?

Alright, well, we've gotta be better than them.

Let's... let's just do it one more time.

- (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) - Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna have to take this.

Are you kidding? I've gotta leave soon.

- Yeah, we'll fix it tomorrow. - The gig is tomorrow.

We'll arrive early, we'll sound check

and we'll iron out all the bumps, okay?

Hey, Buzz. Yeah...

- Oh, that's it. I'm outta here. - Me too.

You're on your own, McCarthy.

Yeah, uh, it'd be good to confirm one more.

Yeah, all right. I'll catch ya.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

Hey, Mark.

You okay?

It was... it was pretty rough.

Yeah, it'll be all right.

We'll run it a few times before the crowds arrive.

Hey, I'm sorry that I snapped at you today.

I was just... stressing out.

You?

(SIGHS) Hey, Mark, while you're here, let me show you something.

It's just a few easy chords.

D. (PLAYS CHORD)

A. (PLAYS CHORD)

E. (PLAYS CHORD)

- That's it. - Yep.

Missed it. A little faster. Try again.

- Yep. - D.

A.

E.

Two, three. (HUMS)

Let the midnight special shine a light on me...

- Do you know it? - Yeah.

If I ever go to Houston.

- If I ever go to Houston

- Houston

BOTH: If I ever go to Houston Oh, you better walk right

Oh, you better not gamble

And you better not fight...

(SINGING FADES, GUITAR CONTINUES)

(SIGHS) So, what have you got for me?

I need another day.

That's a little bit boring. You said you had it.

Yeah, I did. I will.

You'll get your 15 grand.

Did you get married? Is that what happened?

Got the little purse strings wrapped around your neck.

Have we got a deal or not?

Come on, lighten up.

I miss our little conversations around the table.

You'll get your money tomorrow night.

Don't go all normal on me, Nicky.

Not you.

So have we come up with a name yet?

Rachel keeps banging on about The 'C' Cups.

Amiodarone.

- You wanna call the band that? - Causes inflammations and flare-ups.

And in some cases, epididymitis.

Lewis is taking Amiodarone? I thought he was taking solivert.

He was but on his last visit, the doctor changed his prescription.

Well, he didn't tell me that.

He said he wasn't taking anything and when I pressed him, he goes,

"Same thing as always," and I said, "Solivert?"

And he goes, "Yeah, that."

- You should put him out of his misery. - (LAUGHS WRYLY)

I'll think about it.

So it's not sexually transmitted!

Not in this case, no.

- Unless... - Unless nothin'.

We're in the clear.

Wow. That's a really special apology.

No, well... I wasn't accusing you.

You pretty much were, Lewis.

Yeah, but I was... I was confused.

You know, I knew it wasn't me.

I'm sorry. Honestly.

Why would you lie to Abi?

- I was embarrassed. - Why?

It's heart medication. It makes me feel old.

Oh, for goodness sake.

I've got 20-year-old patients on this medication.

It doesn't mean that they're old, it means they have heart problems.

What?

I got to see you in action at the hospital.

You've seen me before.

Yeah, but not really. I was watching you.

You were so brilliant.

So beautiful.

Lewis...

I guess I was just feeling... you know... vulnerable.

Does happen occasionally.

Come here, you idiot.

Shouldn't it be "have" got talent?

Sorry?

Well, shouldn't in be "Nepean South Parents HAVE Got Talent"

rather than "Got Talent"?

It's a bit hip-hop.

What are you doing here?

The event doesn't even start for a couple of hours.

Oh, I just wanted to set up.

Nick promised we could have a few run-throughs.

(LAUGHS) I wouldn't bother.

Sorry?

Well, if you haven't got it right yet,

a last-minute rehearsal isn't gonna fix it.

I wonder where he is. He said he'd be here.

I'm sure he's on his way.

(LAUGHS, SIGHS)

BETTY DAVIS: I said if I'm in luck I just might get picked up

I said I'm fishin' trick and you can call it what you want then

I said I'm wigglin' my fanny...

Ace and king.

Thank you, gentlemen.

- (PHONE VIBRATES) - Ah, excuse me.

Mark.

You're already there?

Well, I can fix the amp when I get there.

Okay, okay, okay, yeah, I'm just finishing up a job here. I'm nearly there.

Good.

So where were we?

Fives.

- You were bluffin'. - A pair of fives.

- Unbelievable. - Thank you, gentlemen.

But now I must leave you.

(BANGING ON DOOR) KYLE: Guys, gonna invite me in?

Well, hang on, I'm not completely out.

Good for you. I've gotta go.

I heard there's a game on.

Game's over, Kyle. We're packing up.

So you've got my money,

including two grand interest for the extra day you needed.

Well, look, it's nearly all here but I've gotta go.

Like hell you do. I'm ready to play.

Manix here needs a chance to win his money back.

- Mate, I gotta... - Sit down, Nick.

You deal 'em out.

Sit down.

- Where's Nick? - I don't know.

- But you chaps are on soon. - We can't go on without him.

Well, you'll just have to.

- Ma... maybe I should go find him. - Where's Nick?

Atticus is so excited.

Right, I... I'm gonna find him.

- What? - Looks like it's just you and me.

Huh?

Hey, hey...

What's up?

Not sure.

Raise. Four thou.

Fold.

You're not folding again, Nicky?

- Well, where have they gone? - They went to get Nick.

- And where is he? - He's not answering his phone.

- So we're up next. - That is so unfair.

We're on last. We said that all along.

- I bet they did this on purpose. - Mm-hm.

Gamesmanship.

- Well, maybe they can do an encore. - What about a real saw?

(MAN WHISTLES 'WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN')

Nick, you in there?

Hey.

Guys, you can't be here.

Oh, you're that Muppet from the other day.

- Sorry? - The tool that stole my car space.

Lewis...

What are you doing with these clowns anyway?

I need you guys to go.

This is why you were so keen to sign the lease.

I gave you $3,000 cash. That better not be my money...

Your money's safe, all right? I need to see this game through.

Look, can I have the lecture tomorrow?

I'm happy to cop it tomorrow but right now, I can't leave.

Hey, Nick, are we playing this game or what?

You'd rather sit around with losers like this...

I don't know who you are but you need to vacate this building ASA..

- It's my building, idiot. - And I contributed financially...

- Get outta here. - What are you doing?!

- Hey, excuse me, pal! - Come on, who are you guys?

- Who are we? - Yeah.

- We're in a band... with him. - Yeah?

Well, we're meant to be playing a gig, like, right now at the school.

Oh, at the school! What are you, The Wiggles?

- I'll give you the... - Calm down! Calm... Stop!

- Come on, let's... - He can't.

- Why can't he? - 'Cause he owes me money.

Nick?

I have to stay.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

The 'C' Cups.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

('STAYIN' ALIVE' BY THE BEE GEES PLAYS)

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk

I'm a woman's man No time to talk

Music loud and women warm

I've been kicked around Since I was born

And now it's all right It's okay

You may look the other way

And we can try to understand

The New York Times' effect on man

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother

You're stayin' alive Stayin' alive

Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'

And we're stayin' alive Stayin' alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive Stayin' alive

BOTH: I'm goin' nowhere...

Fold.

You're goin' out backwards, Nick.

(MESSAGE TONE)

BUZZ: Gents, we in?

Five thou.

Can you guys believe this?

(LAUGHS) Nick?

Yeah, I'm in for five.

(MESSAGE TONE)

We have to go on after them?

Buzz, you folding already?

No way.

I'm raising.

Impressive.

Nick?

- Okay, this is terrifying. - So it's verse, chorus and verse.

Is that...

No, it's two verses, then the chorus.

It's three verses if you count the intro.

- Wh.. what? - It's eight bars to a verse.

Lyrically, not musically.

Alright.

All in?

Player. You always were good at losing.

Might just have to work out a payment plan...

..with interest.

Uh, hi. We're Lewis and Justin and Mark.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Can I just say it's great...

(MIC OFF) Hello?

Hello?

I think we've lost the sound.

I think my wife might have destroyed the microphone.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm not... I'm not getting any sound here.

- Neither am I. - One, two, three.

No! Let go of it. No.

Uh... got some technical difficulties.

(FEEDBACK)

Sorry. Sorry about that.

Where's Nick? I'm gonna kill him.

- Oh, get in the queue. - Hey, we ready?

- No, we're... No. - No, no!

Let's do this.

One, two, three, four.

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Black Betty had a child Bam-ba-lam

The damn thing gone wild Bam-ba-lam

She said, "I'm outta mind" Bam-ba-lam

The damn thing gone blind Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

You know she gets me high Bam-ba-lam

You know that's no lie Bam-ba-lam

She's so rock steady Bam-ba-lam

And she's always ready Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty. Bam-ba-lam.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

It was a high-stakes buy-in poker game.

It was completely illegal.

It's obviously what he does in his spare time.

Guys, just leave all that stuff. I'll sort it out tomorrow.

Well, there's a bit to sort out, isn't there?

Look, it was never my intention not to turn up.

Things just got out of hand.

As they do.

I had to clear a debt, and I did that.

- It was just a one-off thing. - Didn't feel like a one-off.

Let me tell you straight up, pal, I'm not investing in a poker franchise.

Me either.

And I can tell you straight up that I don't work for you or you.

I'm not your employee and I'm not your kid.

- Hello, losers! - Oh, here she is, my disco princess.

Oh, you coming back to my place?

Now that I'm officially more talented than you,

I thought we could celebrate.

Then perhaps tomorrow you could move your stuff in permanently.

Oh, wow.

Who knows? Some of my gold might rub off on you.

Mmm.

Unless you're scared of the competition.

Maybe just a little bit.

- Did she just ask him to move in? - BOTH: Yep.

It's diabolical.

Next Monday, Nick's big secret is out.

I don't want a reckless gambler teaching my child.

- But will he confess... - Rachel.

..to the one he loves most?

- I haven't told her yet. - You're unreal.

And get ready, there's big...

- It's insane, right? - Yeah!

..Big, baby news.

Which one of your favourites is pregnant?

- She's having a baby. - Congratulations?

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