Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:21,200 I was working for a computer software company. 2 00:00:23,934 --> 00:00:30,200 I used to come to work by 8:40 a.m. 3 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,667 I worked all day until 3 a.m. 4 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,200 Our regular work hour ended at 5:30 p.m. 5 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:41,601 So we were forced to work about 8 hours for free. 6 00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:46,934 It was considered normal to work overnight without sleeping. 7 00:00:46,934 --> 00:00:52,734 I worked like that for about a year and a half 8 00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:57,601 and eventually became ill. 9 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:09,300 I was psychologically on edge. 10 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:18,834 I could not register scenery around me. 11 00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:25,300 I couldn’t tell what day or season it was. 12 00:01:26,501 --> 00:01:29,834 I dragged my feet to work, looking down. 13 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:39,100 When I sat down at my desk, I could only see my computer. 14 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,901 I couldn’t hear any sound around me. 15 00:01:47,734 --> 00:01:52,968 I could not even hear my boss’s voice. 16 00:01:52,968 --> 00:02:00,567 Only when he kicked my chair did I realize he was calling my name. 17 00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:07,601 I was afraid I would be fired. 18 00:02:09,934 --> 00:02:15,901 So I wanted to keep my depression a secret as long as I could. 19 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:25,634 I was afraid that once I lost my full-time job, 20 00:02:25,634 --> 00:02:28,968 my life would be destroyed. 21 00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:42,701 I thought if I’m not a full-time employee, 22 00:02:42,701 --> 00:02:44,968 I would fall in to a downward spiral. 23 00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:49,801 The only job left would be at the bottom of society. 24 00:02:52,634 --> 00:03:00,834 I was afraid that I would die soon from the pain. 25 00:03:08,434 --> 00:03:13,300 He was an engineer and architect for a furnace company. 26 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:17,868 He worked really hard for the family. 27 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:27,033 His co-workers called my husband ‘the human computer.' 28 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:30,934 Because of the company’s worsening performance, 29 00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:34,267 he was forced to do sales, even though he was an engineer. 30 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:37,267 It didn’t go well for him. 31 00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:43,601 He didn’t want to admit his depression 32 00:03:43,601 --> 00:03:47,200 because he was such a proud person. 33 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:52,701 "I'm really sorry to cause so much trouble for the company," he said. 34 00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:57,467 He repeated this apology about 20 times. 35 00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:03,601 I think it is a Japanese characteristic. 36 00:04:03,601 --> 00:04:09,367 If you tell your company that you are suffering from depression, 37 00:04:09,367 --> 00:04:12,133 will they support you? 38 00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:15,801 On the contrary, they will tell you to stop coming to work. 39 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:21,467 And they will push you to resign. 40 00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:25,167 That's why people cannot talk about depression. 41 00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:31,467 Looking back on it, I didn’t give the problem enough attention. 42 00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:41,334 On February 11th, 2004, It was 9:34 a.m. 43 00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:44,033 I was surpised he went to the city of Nara. 44 00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:13,801 I think for him the place we lived as newlyweds (Nara) was the best. 45 00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:25,968 It was the place where he could see our old apartment. 46 00:05:25,968 --> 00:05:28,434 He jumped onto the train track. 47 00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:39,501 There is still so much prejudice towards suicide. 48 00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:45,968 Families often look for culprits and someone to blame. 49 00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:54,567 Many families split up because of suicide. 50 00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:59,434 I want to create a society where we can talk about suicide more openly. 51 00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:09,100 I could not tell people that my husband committed suicide. 52 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:16,667 I thought if I did, it would hurt his reputation and disgrace him. 53 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:24,868 My husband lived his life fully for 58 years. 54 00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:27,701 He worked really hard. 55 00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:30,534 I realized if I lied about his suicide, 56 00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:37,033 I would be trying to erase how he lived. 57 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,601 I want to say to my husband, 58 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:48,567 “I’m sorry that I was not aware of your pain." 59 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:05,300 One worker does not mean anything to a big company. 60 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:10,634 Employess are just disposable. 61 00:07:10,634 --> 00:07:17,467 But to me and to my family he was somebody who can’t be replaced. 62 00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:23,133 After a husband commits suicide, 63 00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:29,267 a wife sometimes inherits a huge debt. 64 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,834 If he jumped onto a train track, 65 00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:37,467 the train company charges a lot of money to his family. 66 00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:49,434 Building management charges an expensive “cleanup” fee. 67 00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:52,968 People don't know how many problems there are 68 00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:58,968 for the families that are left behind. 69 00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:08,267 The company delayed our bereavement compensation application. 70 00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:12,501 We didn't expect it until the next year. 71 00:08:12,501 --> 00:08:18,033 They also claimed that my husband caused a financial loss 72 00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:23,467 and postponed his retirement payment. 73 00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:32,400 Without any support, or work, we could not last a month. 74 00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:44,501 The reality is that there is barely any punishment. 75 00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:48,534 We want to expose the companies that violate human lives. 76 00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:51,400 They are hiding in the dark now. 77 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,801 We want to expose them. 78 00:08:57,934 --> 00:09:01,868 Even if I win my wrongful death lawsuit, 79 00:09:01,868 --> 00:09:07,234 my son will never return. 80 00:09:07,234 --> 00:09:12,934 I hope this lawsuit raises awareness 81 00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:17,234 so young people won’t lose their precious lives from overwork. 6973