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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,290 --> 00:00:22,120 Nice. 2 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,870 Oh, it is a good thing we moved Gary 3 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,500 because the geologist at the project site seems pretty sharp, 4 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,460 and I think she would've noticed a talking head. 5 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:33,670 I, too, have news. I've broken ground on our bookshelves. 6 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,050 Oh. 7 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,480 Seems perfect. 8 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,860 And I got the last of the cherry wood at the lumber yard. 9 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:50,520 Met a guy in the parking lot who offered to build them for 50 bucks, 10 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:54,030 but I said, "No, sir, I need to do this myself, 11 00:00:54,110 --> 00:00:56,660 and you are not wearing shoes." 12 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:59,780 - Mm. - I'm thinking about this for the design. 13 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:04,160 Those are the bookshelves in the Nazi's house. 14 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:07,580 - You wanna build Nazi bookshelves? - The bookshelves weren't Nazis. 15 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,880 If anything, those shelves were Nazi-occupied. 16 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:13,050 Mm, okay. So, you wanna take a break and go kill Gary? 17 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:14,800 Sure, I could take a break. 18 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,510 Great, and then I can go grocery shopping for our dinner with Lisa, 19 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:21,180 and you can spend the rest of the day building your Nazi bookshelves. 20 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,680 Perfect. And maybe we just call them "bookshelves." 21 00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:26,270 That might be hard. 22 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,570 When we returned her car, Kayla was so excited. 23 00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:39,620 She can't wait to get to Michigan and start her new life. 24 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,200 And her baby is so adorable. 25 00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:45,960 So cute. I could eat her with a spoon. 26 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,130 - I would never eat her with a spoon. - Oh, Hailey. 27 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,250 Look at her. She's growing up so fast! 28 00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,840 She's gonna be taller than me soon. 29 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:55,130 She already is. 30 00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:59,390 - So, wow, closure! Isn't that great? - I love it. 31 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:02,050 So, we have a few thoughts on your "departure." 32 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:05,020 There's a beautiful overlook at the top of Pike's Ridge 33 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,600 that we sometimes hike to. 34 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,560 Yeah, we could lay you down in a meadow of wildflowers. 35 00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:12,310 And as the butterflies say goodbye to the morning dew... 36 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,690 So, too, will we say farewell to Gary West. 37 00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:20,910 - Yeah, I don't wanna do that. - Well, we know you also like porn. 38 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,910 You could watch a few girls go at it for a while, 39 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:24,760 and we could shoot you in the back of the head. 40 00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:25,950 There are no wrong choices. 41 00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:30,170 - No, I don't want to die at all. - What? 42 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,090 But... But... Hey, hang on. Hey. 43 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:37,210 What I think Joel is saying is, "But... But... Hey, hang on. Hey. 44 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,340 You said if we gave the deed to Kayla, you'd be ready to go." 45 00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:44,010 I've been thinking about it, and I want to live to see Kayla turn her life around. 46 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,390 I want to see Hailey grow up. 47 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,810 You're a talking head in a flower vase. 48 00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:49,274 Still better looking than you, buddy! 49 00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:51,230 - Not in a swimsuit. - Guys! 50 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:53,940 How do you have so much testosterone without balls? 51 00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,360 She asked you a question, Joel. 52 00:02:57,030 --> 00:03:00,280 I say we open a window, put him on the sill, and crack him like a walnut. 53 00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:03,950 I feel like my life could still have meaning. 54 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:07,490 Put an iPad in front of me. I can follow Kayla's life on Instagram and Facebook. 55 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:12,290 Look, I know we didn't shake on this deal, but we had an agreement. 56 00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:15,090 If you guys want to kill me, I can't stop you. 57 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:16,960 I mean, it is two against one. 58 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,380 All I'm saying is, I don't wanna die. 59 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,470 He doesn't want to die. 60 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:27,430 I know, but we can't keep a head in our basement forever. 61 00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:30,430 I know, but we can't kill him if he's begging us not to. 62 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,270 - I know! - So, we're on the same page. 63 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,900 - The same shitty page. - Then why are we fighting? 64 00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,942 We're not fighting. We're having a heated agreement. 65 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,530 Good morning, adults. How am I? 66 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:43,070 Well, something happened yesterday you might wanna know about. 67 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,410 What was it? I met another undead person. 68 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,910 Oh, crap. You found Gary. 69 00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:51,790 Yes. And, boy, way to keep it interesting, guys. 70 00:03:51,870 --> 00:03:55,460 But I was actually talking about the girl who dated Eric for five minutes. 71 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,000 - Ramona. - What? 72 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:58,590 Ramona? 73 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:02,300 Rite Aid girl is undead? How's that even possible? 74 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,260 - Did you bite her? - No! 75 00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,930 I don't just run around biting people. I've never even met her. 76 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:11,100 - Well, if you didn't bite her... - Then how did she get sick? 77 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:14,770 Oh, my God! If we find out what you two have in common... 78 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:17,230 We might finally understand what happened with me. 79 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:19,280 I know! And figure out how this all started! 80 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,110 - I know! And see if other people have it! - I know! 81 00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:24,570 - It could be spreading. - That's what I'm saying. 82 00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:26,490 Then why does it feel like we're still fighting? 83 00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:30,620 Yeah, that's weird. We have to talk to Ramona. 84 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,540 - Any idea where she lives? - Yeah. 85 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,670 - I can take you there. - No, give us the address. 86 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,840 - You need to go to school. - Seriously? Guys, come on. 87 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,590 - Include me. - Your mother's right. 88 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,880 One person in this family should have a normal life. 89 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,050 Not totally normal. 90 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:46,510 Someone's getting chocolate milk in their lunch today. 91 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,390 - Ooh. - Fine, I'll go to school. 92 00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:51,020 Oh, can I ask one question about the head in our basement? 93 00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:53,850 - Sure. - What the fuck? 94 00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:57,100 Well, Gary was the first person I sampled, 95 00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:59,020 and we didn't know we had to kill the brain. 96 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:03,360 Destroying the brain is literally the one thing 97 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,860 that everybody knows about the undead. 98 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,790 You were there when we buried him! I didn't see you picking up a stake! 99 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:13,330 Yeah. 100 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:19,170 Maybe we make Gary's life so unpleasant he wants to die. 101 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,000 Well, we already took his body away. 102 00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:23,210 What are we gonna do? Stop brushing his teeth? 103 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,510 You brushed his teeth? 104 00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,010 We don't want that hole in his cheek to get any bigger. 105 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:30,720 Anyway, I'm sorry you didn't get back to your bookshelves. 106 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,480 - I could've talked to Ramona myself. - No, I should be here. 107 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,690 Besides, if this is the rise of the undead and the end of humankind, 108 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:41,400 - we may not need bookshelves. - Yeah, well, I'll still wanna read. 109 00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:46,320 Hi, Ramona. Do you remember me? 110 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,740 I'm Joel. And this is my wife, Sheila. 111 00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:50,870 Hello, Sheila. It's nice to finally meet you. 112 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,410 It's great to meet you, Ramona. 113 00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:56,540 Here, let me help you with that. We just wanted to talk to you about... 114 00:05:57,210 --> 00:06:00,420 - Jesus Christ. - No, thank you, I'm not religious. 115 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,590 There are body parts in here. 116 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:03,590 Yeah, that's my lunch. 117 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,880 Why don't we go inside? 118 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:14,640 - Hey, Eric. How you holdin' up? - I'm okay. 119 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,020 No, I'm not. I'm really bummed about Ramona. 120 00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:20,770 Yeah, I'm sorry that happened to you. 121 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,520 So, my parents freaked out when I told them about her. 122 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:24,683 They're going to her apartment. 123 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:26,820 Really? To tell her she never should've dumped me? 124 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:31,070 - Sure. - I love your parents. Your dad's the best. 125 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:34,200 You've been out of school a couple days. 126 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,960 - You ready to be here? - Honestly, everything's been so intense. 127 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:42,420 There is a talking head in my basement. Tell you about that later. 128 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,500 I'm actually looking forward to a day without any life- and-death issues. 129 00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,050 Abby, you're here. Thank God. There is a crisis. 130 00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:50,760 Cindy tore her shorts while twerking to win this bet, 131 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,590 and now she has nothing to wear to gym. 132 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,270 And Talia definitely has an extra pair, but she is being a total cunt about it. 133 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,980 Well, Sarah, everything's gonna be fine 134 00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,140 'cause I have an extra pair of shorts in my locker. 135 00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,770 Oh, my God. You are literally saving her life. 136 00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:08,150 Feel like I'm on vacation. 137 00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:12,820 - So, how long have you been like this? - About three weeks. 138 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,160 Same with me. 139 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,410 Great! And what did you do in the days before you turned? 140 00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:19,540 Maybe there's something you two have in common. 141 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:22,790 It was pretty uneventful. I went to the dry cleaners. 142 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,210 - Me too. Which one? - Manny's. 143 00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:28,090 Oh, we go to Chazz's. They're good with denim, and... 144 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:30,050 - they serve hot dogs. - What else? 145 00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:31,260 Uh... 146 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,180 I dropped a pumpkin off of a roof with my cousin. 147 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,180 - What else? - I saw a cloud 148 00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:42,140 that looked like Charlie Brown, but my friend didn't think so. 149 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,480 I once saw a cloud that looked like Snoopy. 150 00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:47,070 - That's fun. - I don't see this helping. 151 00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:51,700 Come on, Ramona. Where did you go where you might've been exposed to a virus? 152 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:56,950 The day before I got sick, I went to my former job as an auctioneer. 153 00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:59,620 - You were an auctioneer? - Why? Did you go to an auction? 154 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,830 No, it's just really hard to picture. 155 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:03,580 I had a natural gift for it. 156 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:07,460 The high energy, the rapid-fire musicality of the presentation. 157 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,460 It was very exciting. I hated it. 158 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,720 I always dreamed of being a slower, duller person, 159 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,800 but was never brave enough to make it happen, until now. 160 00:08:15,890 --> 00:08:19,260 I always wanted to be bolder, and now I am. 161 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,140 And Loki was a criminal, and he wanted to be folk singer. 162 00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:24,730 - And Gary... - Is an asshole. 163 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:26,940 Who wants to be a better person. 164 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,610 By dying, we get to be the people we've always wanted to be. 165 00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:35,160 - I like who I am now. - Me too. 166 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,450 I don't care how it happened. Why do you? 167 00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:40,740 Because you're eating human flesh, 168 00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:43,710 and I just don't think a lot of people should be running around doing that. 169 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,170 I used to be high-strung and judgy like you. You need to relax. 170 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:50,960 - Sheila, would you like some jogger? - Where did you get that guy? 171 00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:53,880 Rocky Peak Park. That's where I get all my joggers. 172 00:08:54,550 --> 00:08:57,340 So, you're the one that killed the guy there last week. 173 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,850 You left half a body behind. You have to take all the pieces with you, Ramona. 174 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,730 Otherwise, it attracts attention, and that's bad for all of us. 175 00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:08,310 But people have so many parts. 176 00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:10,020 I know, it's hard. 177 00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:13,150 I would've been caught a long time ago if I didn't have Joel to help me. 178 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,860 But you don't have a Joel, so you have to be a little more careful. 179 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:19,780 I have a question for you. 180 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:24,330 - Did you ever throw up a red ball? - Yes. Wasn't that weird? 181 00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,620 - Where do you keep yours? - In the freezer. 182 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,170 The freezer? 183 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,540 Doesn't it get lonely? 184 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,010 Lonely? 185 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:45,520 - Oh, my God! - What the fuckity-fuck is that? 186 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,230 Your ball grew legs? 187 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:51,020 I left it on a counter for a few days, and when I came back, it had legs. 188 00:09:51,610 --> 00:09:53,150 I call it "Mr. Ball Legs." 189 00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:57,820 I'm ready to go home. 190 00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,500 Ooh, tater tots! 191 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,340 Oh, no, someone touched this one. 192 00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:15,590 Ugh, Christian posted about Janie again. 193 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:18,800 What's going on? 194 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,510 It's honestly so sad. Okay. 195 00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:24,180 So, Janie and Christian got into a fight at Meghan-with-an-H's party, right? 196 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,423 And then he breaks up with her in front of everyone. 197 00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:29,810 And then he hooks up with Chess Club Megan in the media room. 198 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,730 Janie sent him, like, a million texts begging him to take her back, 199 00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:35,150 and now he's posting screenshots of all her texts online. 200 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,200 Could you imagine? I mean, I would literally die. 201 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:44,280 Wow, that's really shitty. 202 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,290 Janie cried yesterday in history class. 203 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,660 Such a pretty crier. 204 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:51,330 So pretty. Oh, my God, he just posted another one. 205 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,300 Someone should do something. 206 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,760 - You're right. I'm gonna unfollow him. - Totally. 207 00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:11,730 Mr. Whetherton, there's smoke coming from a trash can outside. 208 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,610 Goddamn it! 209 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,730 Well, thank you for putting that responsibility on me. 210 00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:20,610 Hey, let me get that for ya. 211 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:29,000 Hey, Christian. What's up? 212 00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:44,760 Hey, Janie, how's it going? 213 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,010 Oh, no, someone touched this one. 214 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:01,450 Yeah, that's not me. 215 00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,910 Guess who's here! 216 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,250 Sweetie, that's your cue. 217 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,550 - Ramona? - Look who couldn't resist 218 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:22,470 my delicious boy. 219 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,300 Hey, Eric. 220 00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:28,050 Oh, you can kiss in front of me. It's okay. 221 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,850 Mom. Please. 222 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,390 - Go. - Oh. 223 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:36,900 I'll be downstairs with headphones on. 224 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,610 They're noise-canceling. 225 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,030 - All noises. - Oh, God. 226 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,160 I'm sorry about my mom. 227 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,870 She's a little nervous. This is a big deal for her. 228 00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:53,830 That's okay. So, what have you been up to? 229 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,750 Nothin'. I've just been lying here, successfully throwing a ball up and down. 230 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,170 - What are you doing here? - I decided I need you back in my life. 231 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:04,340 Really? 232 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,300 That sounds great! 233 00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:14,520 I may never let you go. 234 00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:18,020 That sounded less great. 235 00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:22,940 There's no legs on my ball. 236 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,240 Or Loki's. 237 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,360 There's gotta be something in this Serbian book. 238 00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:30,030 You'd think spider monsters would be worthy of their own chapter. 239 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,290 Maybe I'll defrost my ball and see what happens. 240 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,370 Do not defrost it. 241 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,080 This was inside of me, Joel. My body, my ball, my choice. 242 00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:43,340 Please, God, if I win one argument this year, let it be this one. 243 00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:46,260 Fine, I won't thaw it out. Unless you keep telling me I can't. 244 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,350 What are we gonna do about Ramona? We can't have her leaving bodies around. 245 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,600 I know. Do you think we'll have to...? 246 00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,180 - I don't want to kill her. - Good. Me neither. 247 00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,770 She's, like, Abby's age. 248 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,553 Plus, she's the only one at that drugstore 249 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,520 who gives a damn about customer satisfaction. 250 00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,730 Maybe we could teach her. 251 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:04,690 We could have her tag along when we go kill our first Nazi. 252 00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,610 I don't know, honey. We've got a lot on our plate. 253 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:10,780 I don't wanna be opening up a finishing school for the undead. 254 00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:14,080 - Whoa! - Oh, my God! 255 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:20,500 That knight has Mr. Ball Legs on his shield. 256 00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,710 - What does it mean? - I don't know. 257 00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:28,470 - Is he a knight that fights the undead? - Or is he an undead knight? 258 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,180 Whoa. 259 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:32,050 Either way, it's terrifying. 260 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:35,770 I realize it's not their fault, but fucking Serbia! 261 00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:39,100 Other than tennis players, has anything good come out of that country? 262 00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,690 I'm home! 263 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,730 You were doing something. 264 00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:48,030 - I swear to God, every time. - Mm-mm. 265 00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:51,740 - Hey, Abby, how was school? - Normal, just like you wanted. 266 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:56,490 Hey, didn't you guys invite Lisa for dinner tonight? 267 00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:59,870 You know, to make up for you killing her husband, and this one eating him? 268 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,500 - Oh, God, we completely forgot! - We have to cancel. 269 00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,630 We can't. This was the dinner to make up for the last one we canceled. 270 00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:09,300 Mm, if you cancel again, it might look like you don't know what you're doing. 271 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:12,930 We know, Abby, we're bad at everything because we're your parents. 272 00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:15,060 No, it's because prior to this, 273 00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:17,350 you led a mindlessly happy suburban existence, 274 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:20,810 which left you fundamentally unprepared to deal with the life- and-death decisions 275 00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,560 that now plague your every waking moment. 276 00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:25,690 - Jesus. - Don't listen to her. 277 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,650 I'll defrost a frozen lasagna. 278 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:31,530 Can you go down to the basement and grab a bottle of wine? 279 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,950 - And a soup from the earthquake kit. - Okay. 280 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:37,790 But just sometime, I'd like one day to go as planned. 281 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:41,040 Tomorrow, I promise. All bookshelves, all day. 282 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,370 Sure, tomorrow. 283 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:46,460 - I'm sorry I broke Dad. - Oh, it's not your fault. 284 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:49,130 Between Ramona and Mr. Ball Legs, he's had a big day. 285 00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:52,050 - Mr. Who Legs? - Set the table, sweetie. 286 00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:01,730 So... have you and Sheila come to any conclusions about my future? 287 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:03,140 Not yet, Gary. 288 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:11,570 Damn it! All we have is tomato soup. 289 00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:14,160 You can't serve tomato soup with lasagna. 290 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,490 It's just not done! 291 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:16,910 You all right? 292 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,290 I see a man that needs to talk. 293 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:20,910 I'm fine. 294 00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:24,080 All I wanted to do the last couple days was build bookshelves. 295 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:26,210 But who am I kidding? 296 00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:30,090 With Sheila's situation, I'm never gonna do normal things again. 297 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:33,170 Yeah. Her change has had a big effect on me too. 298 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,590 Ask me how. 299 00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,590 No, I see that. 300 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,270 Look, you two are awesome, really. 301 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,600 You listen to each other. You make decisions together. 302 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,980 I've never had that. I may never have it. 303 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,940 Dude, you don't know that. You could, uh... 304 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,280 - Anyway, I interrupted you. - Sure, Sheila's got a lot going on. 305 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,240 Her life's always gonna be bigger than yours. It's like... 306 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,200 It's like being married to the Queen of England. 307 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,540 - It's not exactly like that. - You got two ways of looking at it. 308 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,870 Either it's, "My needs are always gonna come second" 309 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:08,590 or "Jesus Christ, I'm fucking the Queen of England." 310 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,210 Appreciate what you have, buddy. 311 00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,760 Stop trying to turn it into something it's never gonna be. 312 00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:20,060 Thank you, but we're having dinner guests, 313 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,770 so I gotta put you in the cabinet, stuff a sock in your mouth. 314 00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,230 - Understood. - Okay. 315 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,770 - Ramona! - Hi. 316 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:31,020 Where are Anne and Lisa? 317 00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:33,320 Oh, my mom's finishing making her famous nine-layer dip, 318 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,490 and Anne had a church thing. 319 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,570 But Ramona's back in my life... forever! 320 00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,740 You guys are together again? 321 00:17:41,030 --> 00:17:44,450 Uh-huh. In fact, Ramona here wants me to go later with her to kill someone. 322 00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:47,830 - What? - She said she wants me to be her Joel. 323 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,460 Does that ring any bells for anyone? 324 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,670 - Joel? - No. 325 00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:55,090 We just went over today and told her she has to be more careful. 326 00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:58,340 Yeah, and that we realize how much harder she has it because she's all alone. 327 00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:00,800 And doesn't have anyone to help her clean up and carry bodies, 328 00:18:00,890 --> 00:18:02,350 like I do for Sheila. 329 00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:05,020 - Okay, I see what happened. - I hear it too. 330 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:09,310 - Ramona, you can't just take Eric. - Why not? He's perfect. 331 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,730 He's little, so if he tries to run, I can catch him. 332 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:15,190 Then I'll do something small but memorable to his legs so he won't try it again. 333 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,450 Hear that, everyone? 334 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,261 Does everyone hear what's happening right now? 335 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:22,450 Excuse me. 336 00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,573 - I need to check on the lasagna. - I'll come with you. 337 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,119 - No. - No, you're right. Too many cooks. 338 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:39,430 - What are you doing? - I'm fucking the Queen of England! 339 00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:41,090 - What? - It's an expression. 340 00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:42,640 It means no more looking back. 341 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,930 I'm all in. 342 00:18:44,010 --> 00:18:45,220 I don't know how you got there, 343 00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:47,140 but I dig where you're at. 344 00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,560 Hammer-knife's ready. Let's save the boy. 345 00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:55,610 Okay, Abby, you go to your room and stay there. 346 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:59,320 No way! Eric's my friend. I pushed him into this relationship. 347 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,070 This time, I go with you. 348 00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:07,290 Okay, but if things go south, you grab Eric and stay behind us. 349 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:08,580 - You understand? - Yes. 350 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,080 - Abby. - I understand. 351 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,130 You guys ready? 352 00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:14,380 - Ready. - Not quite. 353 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,690 Let's do this. 354 00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:34,730 I was thinking maybe we'd move to Seattle. 355 00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:38,480 Joel was right. Two people killing in the same town draws too much attention. 356 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,240 Plus, I love the Seahawks. 357 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,240 Oh, God, you're into sports? 358 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,530 This relationship is getting even more untenable. 359 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,580 Ramona, we need to talk. 360 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,330 I know how hard it must be for you to live like this on your own, 361 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:55,840 but if Eric doesn't want to go with you, it's not gonna work. 362 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,460 Let me tell you about this guy. 363 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:00,840 He is not gonna be good at hunting people. 364 00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:03,260 He gets queasy. He's panicky. 365 00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,550 - His orthotics squeak when he runs. - Hey. 366 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,260 - You know I love you, man. - Really? 367 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,524 Then I'll bite him, and he'll want to hunt with me. 368 00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:13,230 I'm not leaving without him. 369 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,360 Well, then... 370 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:17,820 I guess you're not leavin'. 371 00:20:25,530 --> 00:20:26,700 Sorry! 372 00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:30,200 Oh, the seventh layer of my nine-layer dip is always such an asshole. 373 00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:32,675 It's sour cream, and it always wants to settle into the olives, 374 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:33,790 which are layer six. 375 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:37,380 I used to separate them with pimentos. I don't know why I stopped doing that. 376 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:39,920 Oh, right. Because Dan didn't like pimentos. 377 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,420 God, I do not miss him. 378 00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:43,630 Oh, fuck me, I forgot the chips! 379 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,760 I'm so spacey, and I'm not even high. 380 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,930 By the way, if you are high, that dip is what you're gonna wanna eat, Joel. 381 00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:51,930 What's going on? 382 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,980 Eric... why aren't you standing next to your girlfriend? 383 00:20:57,060 --> 00:20:59,110 She's not gonna bite. Oh! 384 00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:02,820 What a cute, weird couple you two make. 385 00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:04,780 I'll be back. 386 00:21:14,830 --> 00:21:15,710 Lasagna's done. 387 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:26,760 No! 388 00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:45,900 - Abby? - You wanted me to have a normal life? 389 00:21:45,990 --> 00:21:47,860 This is it. This is who I am now. 390 00:21:47,950 --> 00:21:49,910 I'm the fucking Queen of England. 391 00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:52,450 Okay, that's not the expression. 392 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:54,910 And tomorrow, we're gonna have a talk about this whole thing. 393 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,540 - Ramona, it's over. Just give up. - But I want a Joel! 394 00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:01,880 And not just to hunt with. I want what you two have. 395 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:06,130 I don't want to do this alone anymore. 396 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:09,260 Oh, sweetie. 397 00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:12,930 Well, you can't just grab someone off the street and have what we have. 398 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:15,060 Why not? 399 00:22:15,430 --> 00:22:17,850 Because Joel and I built a life together. 400 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:22,520 We spent 20 years learning to care for each other. 401 00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:26,440 And lately, I've done nothing but bring chaos to his life. 402 00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:29,240 And does he complain? Often. 403 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,120 But that's okay 'cause... he's given up so much for me. 404 00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,830 But when you love someone, that doesn't matter. 405 00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:41,000 Because it's not about what you give up, it's about what you get. 406 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,250 And I don't complain that much. 407 00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:46,460 So, I guess if I'm gonna find my Joel, 408 00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:50,220 the relationship should be built on more than just hurting his leg. 409 00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:55,350 - That's right. - I've got chips! 410 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,810 Oh, my God. What happened? 411 00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:06,900 Ramona broke up with me. And I am very upset. 412 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:14,200 Given the circumstances, I think we should reschedule dinner. 413 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,660 Which, I think we can all agree, is different than canceling. 414 00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:24,340 Dear Eric, I'm moving to Seattle, 415 00:23:24,420 --> 00:23:27,090 where perhaps someday I will meet my Joel. 416 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,180 I can't take Mr. Ball Legs on a plane because of 9/11, 417 00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:33,590 so I'm leaving him behind. 418 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,640 Please ask the Hammonds to take care of him. 419 00:23:40,980 --> 00:23:42,770 I left the key under the mat. 420 00:23:45,980 --> 00:23:49,900 ...of my neighbor because it seemed too obvious to leave it under mine. 421 00:23:49,990 --> 00:23:55,160 Good luck, Eric. X-O-X-O. Surfing man emoji. Ramona. 422 00:23:58,540 --> 00:24:00,450 Maybe this could be Gary's pet. 423 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,460 So, we're keeping Gary? 424 00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:06,000 It felt good not to kill Ramona. I like not killing people. 425 00:24:06,090 --> 00:24:08,250 I've always liked it. I just forgot how much. 426 00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:09,760 You're sweet. 427 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:13,260 I'll look for a shopping bag to put this thing in. 428 00:24:13,340 --> 00:24:14,890 Well, now that Ramona's gone, 429 00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:17,350 how are we gonna find out what killed both of us? 430 00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:18,720 There's gotta be a link. 431 00:24:18,970 --> 00:24:21,230 Are you sure you didn't go to any auctions? 432 00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:22,980 I think I would remember. 433 00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:26,520 And I can't imagine how something like this would spread through an auction. 434 00:24:26,610 --> 00:24:29,900 I don't know. Maybe an infected medieval goblet 435 00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:32,610 or a cursed piece of movie memorabilia? 436 00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,360 I didn't go to an auction. 437 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,200 I didn't. 438 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:43,580 Hon, didn't we eat at Japopo's two nights before you got sick? 439 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,460 - Yeah. - Would that have been on a Friday? 440 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,420 - Yeah. - And didn't you have the clam special? 441 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,880 Yeah. Why? 442 00:24:53,470 --> 00:24:55,220 So did Ramona. 36513

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