All language subtitles for Tin Men (1987) 720p

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,595 --> 00:00:23,472 I've just found joy 2 00:00:24,766 --> 00:00:28,436 I'm as happy as a baby boy 3 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,941 With another brand new choo-choo toy 4 00:00:36,027 --> 00:00:41,449 When I met my sweet Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine 5 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:47,288 Shes got a pair of eyes 6 00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:51,792 That are brighter than the summer skies 7 00:00:53,169 --> 00:00:56,797 When you see them you realize 8 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:02,053 Why I love my sweet Lorraine 9 00:01:06,015 --> 00:01:08,809 Now, when it's raining 10 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:13,105 I don't miss the sun 11 00:01:13,189 --> 00:01:19,195 Because it's in my babys smile, oh-oh 12 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:23,700 And to think that I'm the lucky one 13 00:01:24,909 --> 00:01:30,581 That will lead her down the aisle, oh-oh-oh 14 00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:33,710 Each night I pray 15 00:01:33,835 --> 00:01:38,422 That no one will steal her heart away 16 00:01:39,549 --> 00:01:44,887 I can't wait until that lucky day 17 00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:49,976 When I marry sweet Lorraine 18 00:01:52,729 --> 00:01:55,648 - She is a beauty. - Who? 19 00:01:55,773 --> 00:01:58,734 - What? - Who? Who is a beauty? 20 00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:02,655 - The car. - Oh, oh. I thought you were talkin' about a chick walking outside. 21 00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:06,492 I lost my concentration. 22 00:02:06,618 --> 00:02:09,162 Why do you think they call cars '''she''? 23 00:02:09,287 --> 00:02:11,956 Never ''he.'' It's always '''she.'' 24 00:02:12,081 --> 00:02:14,500 l guess it's just custom. 25 00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:18,546 - Well, what do you think? - Don't press me. 26 00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:21,132 You're a sick man. Sick! 27 00:02:21,257 --> 00:02:24,635 - Do you hear me? Do you hear me? - Who's sick? 28 00:02:24,761 --> 00:02:28,055 - Who do you think I'm screamin' at? How many of you are there up there? - Ohh. 29 00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,141 There's only you, and you're a sick human being. 30 00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:34,311 - I can't believe you sometimes! - Where's my white-on-white shirt? 31 00:02:34,437 --> 00:02:36,897 It's like yelling through a wall to you. I mean, I'm-I'm carrying on about... 32 00:02:36,981 --> 00:02:40,901 what a disgusting human being you are, and all you wanna know is where your white-on-white shirt is? 33 00:02:40,985 --> 00:02:42,736 Yeah, the one with the permanent stains. 34 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:46,699 I really don't want you to hustle me here. You know what I mean? I really.. 35 00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:48,785 I really hate that. I hate being hustled. 36 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,870 I just want a nice, honest price, you know. 37 00:02:50,954 --> 00:02:54,499 I just don't want any special deals. Just a nice, honest price. 38 00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:58,461 - Am I making myself clear? - Of course, Mr Babowsky. 39 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,256 Now, how much are you willing to pay? 40 00:03:02,924 --> 00:03:05,176 You're doing it. See, you're doing it already. I hate that. 41 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:10,265 - Y-Y-You're giving me a hustle number. - I-I am just trying to get an idea of how much you're willing to pay. 42 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,309 Four dollars. I'd like to pay four dollars a month. 43 00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:15,561 Now, that is not an honest answer. 44 00:03:15,687 --> 00:03:18,898 Well, what do you wanna hear? Why don't you just tell me... 45 00:03:19,023 --> 00:03:21,942 what you want me to pay, okay, and then I'll tell you whether I'll pay it. 46 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,403 And then we won't have to get this hustle number going... 47 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:27,281 which I really hate. 48 00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:30,826 What do I wanna pay? I wanna pay nothing. 49 00:03:30,952 --> 00:03:34,830 -You're being unreasonable. You don't even wanna listen. -I don't know what I did. I got no idea. 50 00:03:34,956 --> 00:03:36,874 - If you'd listen, you'd know what you did. - Is it my fault? - Yeah! 51 00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,877 I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I can do no better than that. 52 00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:42,088 A full, unconditional apology. 53 00:03:42,171 --> 00:03:44,256 All right? All right? 54 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:52,598 By the way, why don't you send a search party out for the white-on-white shirt? 55 00:03:52,682 --> 00:03:56,435 Huh? It's the best one I got. 56 00:04:08,031 --> 00:04:11,075 Now, if you have even the smallest problem, you call me personally... 57 00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,703 - and I'll just shoot you straight into the service department. - Okay, okay. 58 00:04:13,828 --> 00:04:16,372 Now, uh, I get the loaner, right, if my car has to stay? 59 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,418 A's we discussed, you get a car if the car has to stay overnight. 60 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,920 - Uh, do I get the loaner? - Yes. 61 00:04:23,004 --> 00:04:27,341 Oh, she's driving me to my grave. That's it. I'm headed to my grave. 62 00:04:27,425 --> 00:04:32,221 I'm on my way to my grave. The woman is driving me insane. 63 00:04:32,347 --> 00:04:34,349 It's not supposed to be like this. Uh-uh. 64 00:04:34,432 --> 00:04:38,644 11:00, and my neck is stiff as a board. 65 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:41,480 Ohh! Oh, it's tight. 66 00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:44,650 Oh. Ohh. 67 00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:48,362 Now, you enjoy the car, Mr Babowsky. 68 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:05,254 Oh, my God. 69 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:13,846 Are you a lunatic? Are you telling me that you didn't see me coming out of this lot? 70 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,973 Huh? There's a red light there, for crying out loud! 71 00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:19,519 - You're supposed to stop! - Me? Are you crazy? 72 00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:22,062 - What do you want? To just back into the middle of the street like that? - What? 73 00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:25,607 A man''s driving along, and you wanna back into the middle of the street. 74 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,528 - What kind of driving is that? - There's a red light there, you know. 75 00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:33,240 I was making a space for myself. That's what I was trying to do, in order to get into the street. 76 00:05:33,324 --> 00:05:35,326 -You bolted out of nowhere! -That's something you're supposed to do. 77 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:38,121 - You bolted out of nowhere, pal. - I bolted? - You bolted out of nowhere! 78 00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,080 - I bolted? I bolted? - Bolted out of nowhere! 79 00:05:40,164 --> 00:05:42,875 - At six miles an hour, I bolted into the street? - That's right. That's right. 80 00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,419 - You schmuck! You schmuck! - Back away from me! Back away from me! 81 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,880 - All right. I'll back away. I'll back away. I'm backin' away. - Back away from me. 82 00:05:48,006 --> 00:05:52,135 - Here, I backed away, huh? Hey, hey, hey, calm down! - Give it! 83 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,720 You lunatic! You lunatic! 84 00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:57,390 Look! Will you look at this guy, huh? He back's in front of me. 85 00:05:57,515 --> 00:06:01,143 He rips my side-view mirror off! And then.. And I'm crazy! 86 00:06:01,269 --> 00:06:03,938 - You're dead! Dead! Dead! You're gonna go down! - You goddam lunatic! 87 00:06:04,022 --> 00:06:06,399 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Calm down. Take it easy! 88 00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:09,902 - You are crazy! You are nut's! - Come on. 89 00:06:10,028 --> 00:06:12,530 They oughta lock you up and throw away the key. 90 00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:14,698 That's what they oughta do to you. 91 00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:19,161 Look at this. Look at this! My car's got a sixteenth of a mile on it... 92 00:06:19,287 --> 00:06:21,956 and it's already been hit. 93 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,625 Do you believe this? 94 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:28,004 - I'm gonna get even with you. - Lay off! - Hey, hey! 95 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,839 I'm gonna get even with you, you son of a bitch. 96 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,426 I'm gonna get even with you. 97 00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:37,054 Look, you wanna drive a Cadillac, learn how to drive. 98 00:06:37,138 --> 00:06:41,016 You wanna get even with somebody, you picked the wrong person to get even with, pal! 99 00:06:41,142 --> 00:06:46,063 Nobody back's in traffic, smashes my car and then tells me they're gonna get even. 100 00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:50,109 - I'm gonna get even, pal. - We'll see about that. 101 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:53,529 - Give me my goddam mirror. Give me my mirror. - Hey! Hey! 102 00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:01,412 Now, a loaner, a loaner. Right now. No talk. 103 00:07:24,769 --> 00:07:26,979 Good morning, Mrs Foster. Hi. 104 00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:29,940 I represent the Gibraltar Aluminum Siding Company. 105 00:07:30,024 --> 00:07:34,278 We're gonna be having a representative in your neighbourhood today. When would.. 106 00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:37,823 Would you be interested in seeing the benefit's of our aluminum product? 107 00:07:37,907 --> 00:07:39,867 Yes, well, we do aluminum siding, which-- 108 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,454 Would you be interested in seeing the benefit's of our aluminum product? 109 00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:46,165 Well, we do aluminum siding, which.. 110 00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:49,502 Mrs Beadle, are you interested in aluminum siding? 111 00:07:49,627 --> 00:07:52,338 Gibraltar Aluminum Siding Company. 112 00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:56,341 So the, uh, doctor says, ''When I get all the information back, I'll give you a call.'' 113 00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:59,429 He leaves the doctor. So one day, the phone rings. The guy goes to pick it up. 114 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,223 - The guy? - The guy. - Not the doctor? 115 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,392 That's right. The guy get's the telephone call. It's the doctor on the line. 116 00:08:05,476 --> 00:08:07,436 - Don't get so irritable. - Well, listen to what I'm saying. 117 00:08:07,562 --> 00:08:12,149 -Let him tell the joke, Cheese. -So the doctor says, ''I got some bad news and some worse news.'' 118 00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:14,318 The guy says, ''Let me hear the bad news first.'' 119 00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:16,862 The doctor says, ''You got 24 hours to live.'' 120 00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:22,034 The guy says, ''Well, what's the worse news?'' Doctor says, ''I forgot to call you yesterday.'' 121 00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:25,955 - So the guy's dead, right? That's good. - Worse news and bad news. - Come on. Smart joke. 122 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,916 - Did he say that the guy dies? - Did you hear what he said? ''The guy dies?'' - It's a dumb joke. 123 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,502 -The guy died. You didn't hear the joke. -But it's good. -I know. It's part of the joke. -Up it 50 cent's. 124 00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:33,671 - I'm in. I call. I'm in on this. - All right. All right. Okay. 125 00:08:33,755 --> 00:08:37,550 - We hear you. You're in. So, did you get your new Cadillac? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 126 00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:39,636 - It's already been hit. - Hit? - What? 127 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,471 - I didn't have the thing five minutes. - Aw. 128 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:46,267 - I was backin' out of the place. A guy comes out of nowhere, bangs right into my car. Aw, Jesus. 129 00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:49,478 - I call. What do you got? - Uh, sixes. 130 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,106 - Pair of Jakes. I win. - Pair of sixes? 131 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,234 - So I lied. - So how much damage? 132 00:08:54,317 --> 00:08:56,986 - Six hundred dollars worth, at least. - Six hundred dollars? 133 00:08:57,111 --> 00:08:59,029 - Yeah. - I'd get rid of that car. 134 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:02,700 With that kind of damage, the car won't be any good. You probably dented the frame. 135 00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:05,828 - He didn't dent the frame. - You hit the frame, the car doesn't run right. 136 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,956 - He didn't dent the frame. Watch my lips. - Don't get so irritable. 137 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,209 - You never listen to me. - So what are we doin' here? 138 00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:16,964 - I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna get this guy. - Garage two. 139 00:09:17,048 --> 00:09:21,218 If he'd apologized, it would be different. But he get's out of the car, he tries to push me around. 140 00:09:21,302 --> 00:09:23,304 Don't let anybody push you around, BB. 141 00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:27,767 - Yeah. - I'm gonna get this guy just for the fun of it. 142 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:39,112 Then he attacks me. He rips my-my side- view mirror off. One of the loonies! 143 00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:41,989 - Unbelievable. - Did you live? - Did you get his name? 144 00:09:42,073 --> 00:09:44,450 Yeah, I got his name. 145 00:09:44,576 --> 00:09:46,703 Police came. God, I can't believe it. 146 00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,331 The guy's an idiot. Yeah, I got it right here. 147 00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:53,793 Polish name. Babowsky. Bill Babowsky. 148 00:09:53,877 --> 00:09:56,462 - Fuckin' son of a bitch. - Hey, I know that guy. 149 00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:59,006 - They call him ''BB.'' - You know the son of a bitch? 150 00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:01,133 Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, he work's with Bagel. 151 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,761 - He sells aluminum siding? - Uh-huh. Same as us. 152 00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:09,559 I don't believe it. Of all the people that could run into me, it has to be another tin man. 153 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,269 - How come I don't know him? - Come on. You must've seen him. 154 00:10:12,395 --> 00:10:16,816 He hangs out with that group. You know, uh, Cheese, uh, Carly Benelli. 155 00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:20,861 - Gibraltar Siding. You know that group. - I don't know the guy. 156 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,781 Come on! One year, when we were up at the Corral, he was there one night. 157 00:10:23,865 --> 00:10:26,784 You know, when we were all there? You know. He-He's a good dancer. 158 00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:29,620 - You must know-- you must've seen him. - I don't know the guy. 159 00:10:29,704 --> 00:10:31,914 - What are you talking about? - Gil, he doesn't know the guy! 160 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:35,084 - Hey, listen, I thought he knew the guy. Okay, Sam? - He seems-- 161 00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,463 -I can't believe he didn't know the guy. -He seems to be indicating that he doesn't know him. 162 00:10:38,588 --> 00:10:41,340 I don't know the guy, all right? 163 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:44,135 - All right. Okay. Yeah. Now, here. - All right? All right, Gil? I don't know the guy. 164 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:47,680 - He's a good dancer. - What do you want me to do, date him? 165 00:10:47,764 --> 00:10:51,809 - I don't give a shit if he's a good dancer. - Well, I thought you saw the guy. 166 00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:56,105 I tell you, I was amazed. This guy does a merengue. Whoa! I'm tellin' you. 167 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,942 I.. If I was a girl, I'd be.. I'd be.. I'd be really impressed. 168 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,111 You're not one of those, are ya? 169 00:11:02,237 --> 00:11:04,822 I'm not one of those. No, I'm not. 170 00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:08,117 - Is this fresh? - Yes, it's fresh. - I'm just asking, Florence. 171 00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,453 You're always just askin', and you drive me crazy. 172 00:11:10,578 --> 00:11:14,623 I can't.. I can't tell you how well this guy does the merengue. 173 00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:17,752 - I can't wait to see it. - You know, I'll tell you one thing. 174 00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:20,796 When I get a hold of this guy, I'm gonna break both his legs... 175 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,632 and then he won't dance the merengue too good. 176 00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:28,512 -Son of a bitch. Back's right.. Look at the nose on my car. Take a look at that! -Jesus. 177 00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:32,183 - Holy mackerel. Look at that. Huh? - That was a beautiful car before this happened. 178 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:34,936 - Let me-- Let me ask you something. You watch 'Ed Sullivan', right? - Yeah. 179 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,730 Which-Which act do you like better-- the guy who spins the plates... 180 00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:40,358 or do you like, uh, the guy with the-- the hand puppet? 181 00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:43,694 - Señor Wences. I love this guy. - The hand puppet. Right. Señor Wences. - Señor Wences. 182 00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:46,989 - He's good. I mean, that's good comedy. - He's the best. He's better than the guy who spins the plates? 183 00:11:47,115 --> 00:11:50,201 - Yeah. Of course he's better. He's got a moustache. - Of course he's better than the guy-- No risk. Plus, he's got no overhead. 184 00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:54,496 - The man''s got a hand, a chalk and a box. And that's it. - And a little lipstick. 185 00:11:54,622 --> 00:11:56,749 Every once in a while, he put's a little wig on it. Hello. 186 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,210 Sall right? It's okay. It's all right. I love him. 187 00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:01,462 - I love the guy. - I'm gonna tell you something. 188 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,965 - This coffee-- - 'Bonanza' is not an accurate depiction of the West. 189 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,300 That's all I'm saying. Did you ever watch that show? 'Bonanza'. 190 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,095 - Is somebody talking about 'Bonanza' in here? Uh-- - Yeah. Today's a 'Bonanza' day. 191 00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,680 - Oh, is today It's Monday! It must be. - Yeah. Monday! Today is 'Bonanza' day. 192 00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:15,058 - Yeah, it's a 'Bonanza' day, the big ''B'' day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, excuse me. 193 00:12:15,143 --> 00:12:18,062 - Ben Cartwright day, you know what I mean? - You laugh.. You laugh about it. - How's Ben and the boys doing? 194 00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:20,273 You can laugh about it, but it's just not believable. 195 00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:23,859 Do you ever see the show? It's a 50-year-old father with three 47-year-old sons. 196 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,861 You know why they get along good? 'Cause they're all the same age. 197 00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:28,531 - ''Hey, Pa, you ride the horse, and I'll go to town.'' - What's he talkin' about? 198 00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:30,699 - Come on. What kind of show is that? - Well, I don't-- 199 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,535 - Look, I'm not an authority on it like you are, but, I mean... - Yeah, yeah. 200 00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:36,205 - I occasionally watch 'Bonanza', and I think it's like-- - Yeah. 201 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:40,084 Can you believe here's a man who's got three kid's from three different wives? 202 00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:43,754 - They all died at childbirth. I mean, what is this here? - Must've been a hell of a man. 203 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,925 - Who's gonna go around there? He's the kiss of death. - Yeah, he's-- 204 00:12:48,051 --> 00:12:50,970 - Yeah, it's called one hump and out. - Sick lover. - A little time to kill. 205 00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:54,390 - You want to get some coffee? - No. Let's do 'Life' magazine. 206 00:12:54,515 --> 00:12:57,809 - Oh, yeah, it'll be fun. - Yeah. lt'll cheer me up. 207 00:12:57,894 --> 00:13:00,980 I think we have to move the camera over another foot! 208 00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,440 - Yeah? - Yeah. 209 00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:06,110 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 210 00:13:06,236 --> 00:13:08,905 Yeah. This is much better. Why don't you take a look here? 211 00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,906 Yeah, the light is hitting it now in a perfect way. 212 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,200 It's giving us just exactly what-- It's very good. 213 00:13:13,284 --> 00:13:15,869 Yeah, that really shows the flaws in the structure. 214 00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:19,332 Uh-huh. Yeah, it's got a lot of the-- It's showing the discolouration here. 215 00:13:19,415 --> 00:13:22,000 - It's got that-- Look. And the flaking. - Right. 216 00:13:22,085 --> 00:13:24,712 This is better. Come on out, honey. 217 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,589 - Hey, you got colour in here? Yeah. - Oh, yeah. Colouration? Oh, yes. Yes. 218 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:31,678 - Yeah. Yeah, this is too nice for black and white. It's gotta be colour. - Yeah. 219 00:13:33,555 --> 00:13:36,474 - Bingo. - Excuse me? 220 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,523 - Um, what are youse doin'? - Well, I hope we're not disturbing you, ma'am. 221 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:47,443 - We're with 'Life' magazine. We'll be out of here in just a minute. - I gotta move the camera another foot there. 222 00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:50,238 - Uh.. Uh, what do you mean, 'Life' magazine? - Ah, just, uh, two minutes, ma'am. 223 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,074 And then we'll be out of your way. We just need some pictures for 'Life' magazine. 224 00:13:53,157 --> 00:13:57,244 - And then we won't be bothering you. - 'Life' magazine is here on my front lawn? 225 00:13:57,328 --> 00:14:01,165 Yeah, yeah. You see, we're doing a layout on, uh, the benefits of aluminum siding. 226 00:14:01,249 --> 00:14:05,294 You know, uh-uh-uh-- kind of a ''before and after,'' uh, presentation. 227 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:07,839 - A ''before'' picture? - Yeah. So they see your house... 228 00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:10,174 and then another house done with aluminum siding. 229 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,511 - The other house looking so much more beautiful. - In 'Life' magazine? 230 00:14:13,636 --> 00:14:17,556 Yes. Special issue on home improvements, ways to beautify the home. 231 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,684 Yes, it's a wonderful-- it's a wonderful issue. 232 00:14:19,809 --> 00:14:24,355 It's one of the most beautiful, pictorial, uh, things that we've ever done here in 'Life.' 233 00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:30,236 -Uh, you know, ways to, uh, improve the home. -Yeah, this is gonna look very good, BB. 234 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:34,157 Our house is gonna be the ''before'' picture in 'Life' magazine? 235 00:14:34,282 --> 00:14:38,160 Are you crazy? We keep 'Life' magazine on our coffee table! 236 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,371 Oh, can't my house be the ''after'? 237 00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:42,581 No, no, no. 238 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,959 No, that's so sweet. No, thank you. 239 00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:48,504 But we already have a house that, uh-- uh, that has aluminum siding... 240 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:51,674 that look's just like your house, except it's ever so much more beautiful. 241 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,385 Yeah. lt really shows the contrast of what a house can look like. 242 00:14:54,469 --> 00:14:57,013 - Yeah. - Well, how much does this cost? - What? 243 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,640 - Uh, the-- - Oh, the aluminum siding? Uh-- 244 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,477 - I don't know. Uh, do you know anything about the costs? - No, but I.. 245 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:07,523 - I think it's fairly reasonable. - Well, can't my house be the ''after' picture in 'Life' magazine? 246 00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,942 You could get another house for the ''before.'' 247 00:15:10,068 --> 00:15:12,070 What do you mean? Oh, you mean, uh-- 248 00:15:12,153 --> 00:15:17,283 Oh, you would like your house to be the ''after' picture with aluminum siding? 249 00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,952 And then we would have to find another house, uh... 250 00:15:20,036 --> 00:15:22,997 to look like their house with-w-- for the ''before'' picture. 251 00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:26,584 - Is that possible, hons? - Oh, I don't-- I don't know if we could manage this. 252 00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:33,465 - What do you say? - I don't know. It's kinda pushing it, BB. 253 00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:36,552 It's pushing it. Uh, well, look, what time does your husband get home? 254 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,556 'Cause he'd have to go over the flgures with the salesman. That's if there's even a salesman available this evening. 255 00:15:40,682 --> 00:15:45,103 -Jerry'll be home at 7:00. - That'll be a total of $3,700. 256 00:15:45,186 --> 00:15:48,022 $3,700? 257 00:15:48,106 --> 00:15:51,359 Honey, we're gonna be in 'Life' magazine. 258 00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:53,902 Before. After. 259 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:58,741 You and your lovely wife might have been asking yourself, ''Exactly what are the benefits of aluminum siding?'' 260 00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:02,328 lt won't chip, peel, blister, crack, flake or rust in any way. 261 00:16:02,453 --> 00:16:06,248 The only maintenance you'll ever have is to wash it down twice a year with a hose. 262 00:16:06,374 --> 00:16:10,378 It afford's much greater insulation, which means it cuts down on your heating bills. 263 00:16:10,461 --> 00:16:15,340 I'll tell you what. Only on this sale, I'll throw in a garden hose for this sale. 264 00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,802 - Let's do some business. - We got a deal. 265 00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:21,973 You're a smart man. This house will be a monument to your good taste. 266 00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:24,058 Good night. 267 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,320 How can I tell her I love her 268 00:16:36,654 --> 00:16:38,656 What happened? 269 00:16:39,991 --> 00:16:42,743 - I almost had 'em. I was this close. - You were in there long enough. 270 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,788 - I thought you were gonna send me in to close. - Damn! I thought I had 'em. 271 00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,708 - Nothin'? - Nothin'. 272 00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:50,292 Straight ahead, not at me 273 00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:55,548 Tall and tan and young and lovely 274 00:16:55,632 --> 00:16:59,802 The girl from Ipanema goes walking 275 00:16:59,928 --> 00:17:02,555 - When she passes, each one she passes - You are great! 276 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,557 - Goes ''ah'' - 'Ah'' 277 00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:10,187 - So, 4,600 buck's. Look's like a good deal. - When she walks, shes like a samba 278 00:17:10,313 --> 00:17:13,357 -Swings so cool and sways so gentle -People own their own homes, so we won't have any problem getting financing. 279 00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:18,529 - Very good, Mouse. So, that's, uh.. - That when she passes, each one she passes go ''ah'' 280 00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:22,450 - $1,138. - $1,138. 281 00:17:22,534 --> 00:17:26,871 - Oh, but I watch her so sadly - 138. 282 00:17:26,996 --> 00:17:29,665 Thank's, boss. Pleasure doing business with you. 283 00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:33,044 - So, what's your guys' story? - How can I tell her I love her 284 00:17:33,169 --> 00:17:38,007 - Nothing again. Came up short. Let me get a little advance. - Yes 285 00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:40,384 - I would give my heart gladly - Uh, 300, just to carry me for a bit. 286 00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:43,304 - I'm already carrying you for.. What is it, uh, 2,300? - But each day 287 00:17:43,388 --> 00:17:47,517 - Something like that, Tilley? - No problem. I'm in a little slump here, is all. That's it. 288 00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:50,561 - You're not gonna take a walk on me? - What do you mean, ''walk''? 289 00:17:50,645 --> 00:17:53,481 - Tall and tan and young and lovely - You think I'm gonna work somewheres else? 290 00:17:53,565 --> 00:17:56,568 - The girl from Ipanema goes walking - W-Wing, you've been very good to me, very honourable. 291 00:17:56,651 --> 00:18:01,530 - He always said that about you, Wing. He always said that. Believe me, he has. - And when she passes, I smile 292 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,824 I'll give you 150. 293 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,327 I need a bit more than that. I got.. I got expenses. 294 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,454 What's the matter with your wife? She don't work? 295 00:18:08,538 --> 00:18:12,500 Yeah. What's she gonna make working in the social security offlce? 296 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:20,549 Come on, Wing. Can't you do no better than this? 297 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,470 I mean, a man in my position, in terms of this firm. I don't know. 298 00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:29,559 - Two hundred. That's it. - Honey? - Yeah? 299 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,936 Could you bring me a pack of Marlboros and another Seven and Seven, please? 300 00:18:33,021 --> 00:18:35,648 - A scotch, straight up. - Uh, bring me another cruller, huh? 301 00:18:35,773 --> 00:18:38,692 - Did she hear me 'say '''scotch, straight up''? - No. - Listen. 302 00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:43,071 - How can I tell her I love her - My guys tell me that the, uh, home improvement commission is the real thing. 303 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:46,366 - It's no jackpot. These guys could be a real pain in the ass. - Yes 304 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:49,162 - I would give my heart gladly - And any of those scams that you guys are running.. They get wind of it... 305 00:18:49,204 --> 00:18:51,456 - they're gonna take your licence, and it's goodbye to business. - But each day 306 00:18:51,539 --> 00:18:53,874 They take away your licence, they take away your livelihood. 307 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,252 - What kind of people are these? - Which scams are you talkin' about? 308 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:59,172 - They got a list? - Any irregularities, you know. 309 00:18:59,255 --> 00:19:02,341 You know, you sell a house on the pretence it's a model home. 310 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:05,928 Anything else sold in the neighbourhood, they get a kickback. Or the 'Life' magazine scam. 311 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,389 - Yeah. - You guys know the bullshit numbers you can run. 312 00:19:08,473 --> 00:19:10,558 -Jeez, what a pain in the ass. - What's left? 313 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,268 Is this commission gonna stick around, or is it gone with the wind? 314 00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:15,687 - They take your licence? - Yeah. 315 00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:19,275 And not your car licence. Your business licence, Tilley. 316 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,652 Don't mention cars. 317 00:19:24,656 --> 00:19:26,949 - Hold it, hold it! Whoa, whoa! Stop the car. Stop right there. - What? What? 318 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,160 That's his car. Come on. Back it up. Back it up. 319 00:19:29,244 --> 00:19:31,955 Okay, okay, okay. 320 00:19:35,291 --> 00:19:37,543 Stop, stop, stop, stop, 'stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 321 00:19:37,669 --> 00:19:41,047 All right. I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna even the score. 322 00:19:43,508 --> 00:19:45,760 I see your way to an apology! 323 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,179 - I've been over the Yankees for 20-- - ...New York with Whitey Ford pitching. 324 00:19:49,264 --> 00:19:52,308 That's a gift. 325 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,853 It's that lunatic again. 326 00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,272 - What the.. - Tilley, Tilley, be careful! 327 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,317 Go, go, go! 328 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,283 Do you believe this guy? Is he sane or what? 329 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,576 - Isn't that something? - What's he got, a gnat up his ass? 330 00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:14,580 - What the hells wrong with the guy? - Don't your recognize him from the Corral? 331 00:20:14,664 --> 00:20:19,919 - I don't know the guy. - Boy, I'll never forget his merengue. 332 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,046 Well, I'll tell you something. 333 00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:26,217 If Mr Merengue wants to play... 334 00:20:26,301 --> 00:20:28,303 we'll play. 335 00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:43,943 Look at you. A quarter to 3:00 and home already. 336 00:20:44,027 --> 00:20:46,654 What happened? You and the fellas run out of things to talk about? 337 00:20:46,738 --> 00:20:51,033 Please. I'm out there working my fingers to the bone trying to make a living. 338 00:20:51,159 --> 00:20:54,245 What's a five-letter word for a Portuguese overseas province? 339 00:20:54,329 --> 00:20:57,457 - Try Macao. - That fits. 340 00:20:57,582 --> 00:20:59,542 M-A-C-A-O. 341 00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:04,380 - What are you doing up so late? - I'm off tomorrow. 342 00:21:07,592 --> 00:21:10,678 I think this place may be a little too large for us. 343 00:21:10,762 --> 00:21:14,265 - What are you talking about? This matchbox? - It's got a lot of overhead to it. 344 00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,059 I mean, what do you do? Spend your time in the bedroom and the kitchen. 345 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,770 That's all. Why do you need a living room and a dining room? 346 00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:22,189 Why do you need a backyard? 347 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,318 You're not selling anything? 348 00:21:25,443 --> 00:21:29,905 - I'm in a slump. - That happens. 349 00:21:30,031 --> 00:21:33,659 Last year, I'm number three, top seller. Year before, right up there. 350 00:21:33,785 --> 00:21:36,329 I can't get my momentum going this year. 351 00:21:36,412 --> 00:21:38,497 Oh, you will. You always do. 352 00:21:38,623 --> 00:21:41,751 I'm not sure I like all this overhead breathing down my neck. 353 00:21:41,876 --> 00:21:44,670 I mean, you got a place like this: that's a lot of overhead. 354 00:21:44,754 --> 00:21:48,215 What are you talking about? The monthly payments on your Cadillac alone... 355 00:21:48,299 --> 00:21:50,342 are worth more than this whole house. 356 00:21:50,468 --> 00:21:54,763 - Why don't you get yourself something cheaper, like a Chevy? - Ooh. 357 00:21:54,889 --> 00:21:58,350 It doesn't instill confidence in my clients. 358 00:21:58,434 --> 00:22:02,729 A Cadillac means you're dealing with someone of importance. 359 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,148 Ohh. 360 00:22:05,233 --> 00:22:07,735 I thought I had a couple tonight. 361 00:22:07,819 --> 00:22:10,446 They just slipped away. 362 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,991 Just slipped away. 363 00:22:16,786 --> 00:22:19,747 I'm gonna take a bath. 364 00:22:19,831 --> 00:22:22,583 My necks been tight since this morning. 365 00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:26,254 I'll turn out the lights. 366 00:22:28,464 --> 00:22:31,216 See the pyramids along the Nile 367 00:22:31,301 --> 00:22:34,387 You know, Tilley, we hardly ever do things together. 368 00:22:34,512 --> 00:22:39,475 - Like what? - You know, do fun things together that are enjoyable. 369 00:22:39,601 --> 00:22:42,395 What would we do together for it to be enjoyable? 370 00:22:42,478 --> 00:22:44,855 If we went on a picnic, it would be fun. 371 00:22:44,939 --> 00:22:47,024 Oh, I don't understand a picnic. 372 00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:50,862 - You go someplace, put a thing on the ground and eat. - You belong - Yeah. It's nice to do that. 373 00:22:50,945 --> 00:22:55,282 Why? I don't get it. It's better sittin' in front of the TV. 374 00:22:55,366 --> 00:22:57,993 I happen to think there's something nice about a picnic. It's fun. 375 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,871 What's fun about it? Ants get in the food. 376 00:23:00,997 --> 00:23:02,957 There's bees. I don't get it. 377 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:05,751 You have to drive. It takes you maybe an hour to get there. 378 00:23:05,877 --> 00:23:09,964 And then what do you do? You sit in the grass and eat. Why is that fun? 379 00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:12,216 I just thought it might be nice to do something together. That's all. 380 00:23:12,342 --> 00:23:16,012 - I thought it might be fun. - Doesn't sound like fun to me. 381 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:19,139 Would you wash my hair the way you do it? 382 00:23:19,224 --> 00:23:22,185 A picnic. You know, it's, like.. It's dirty. I don't know. 383 00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:25,354 It's, like, what do you do? You take the food you got in the icebox. 384 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,733 You take it out in a field and eat it. 385 00:23:28,858 --> 00:23:31,277 It's much more fun eating in front of the TV. 386 00:23:31,361 --> 00:23:35,114 We do that together, don't we? No ants. No bees. 387 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,825 - Much more comfortable. - It's not the same thing. 388 00:23:37,951 --> 00:23:39,911 Could you do it harder? 389 00:23:40,036 --> 00:23:41,954 Now, don't get me wrong. I'd do anything with you. 390 00:23:42,038 --> 00:23:44,415 I'm just a little stymied by a picnic. 391 00:23:44,499 --> 00:23:47,835 If you want to go on a picnic, send me a postcard. Ow! 392 00:23:47,919 --> 00:23:51,130 What did I say? Huh? 393 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:05,227 When Liberty Valance rode to town 394 00:24:05,353 --> 00:24:10,316 The womenfolk would hide they'd hide 395 00:24:10,441 --> 00:24:13,235 When Liberty Valance walked around 396 00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:16,322 The men would step aside 397 00:24:16,447 --> 00:24:20,993 -For the point of a gun was the only law that Liberty understood -The blue Caddie. 398 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,371 - Okay, Mr Merengue. - When it came to shooting 399 00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:29,126 - Straight and fast, he was mighty good - Let's dance. 400 00:24:29,210 --> 00:24:32,254 From out of the East a stranger came 401 00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:35,424 A law book in his hand 402 00:24:45,393 --> 00:24:48,312 Yeah, that was a good sale, Double B. Yeah, we just got the okay on the loan. 403 00:24:48,396 --> 00:24:52,191 - We're in business. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This whole area has been tremendously fertile for us. 404 00:24:52,275 --> 00:24:56,445 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I saw your car on the way in. Yeah, it looks almost brand-shiny new. 405 00:24:56,571 --> 00:24:59,073 Yeah, yeah. At $642. 406 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,950 - $642! Oh. - Yeah. 407 00:25:02,076 --> 00:25:04,661 Sure you want to get into the tin game, Stanley? 408 00:25:04,787 --> 00:25:06,747 - Good money, I understand. - Yeah, well, you're gonna be... 409 00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:09,709 bumpin' into a lot of strange people knocking on those doors. 410 00:25:09,834 --> 00:25:12,336 Hermits that never see the outside. Women in bathrobes. 411 00:25:12,462 --> 00:25:14,755 People that are lonely and just wanna have conversations. 412 00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:18,801 Kid's crawlin' all over ya. People.. People look like they got strange diseases. 413 00:25:18,885 --> 00:25:21,178 - Ugh, that's the worst. - Call for you. - Yeah. - Interesting. 414 00:25:21,304 --> 00:25:24,807 - What's the best way to qualify a mark? - I knew they'd call. 415 00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:27,935 - What? - How do you know if you can get the upper hand? 416 00:25:28,019 --> 00:25:31,897 How do you know if you're dealin' with a guy who's in an inferior position or a superior position to you? 417 00:25:32,023 --> 00:25:36,694 - How do you know? - Well, you just have to start talking. You feel your way.. - Nah. A quick way. 418 00:25:36,819 --> 00:25:38,946 Take a book of matches out of your pocket to light your cigarette. 419 00:25:39,072 --> 00:25:41,324 Drop the matches on the floor. If the guy bends down... 420 00:25:41,407 --> 00:25:44,576 to pick 'em up for you, you got a mark-- you got this guy in your pocket. 421 00:25:44,702 --> 00:25:47,955 Guy waits for you to pick 'em up, you got a long, hard, tough sell on your hands. 422 00:25:48,081 --> 00:25:50,708 You wanna win their confidence. Here-- Here's a good thing to try. 423 00:25:50,792 --> 00:25:54,086 Bagel, give me a five-dollar bill. You're gonna start off... 424 00:25:54,212 --> 00:25:56,464 with a five-dollar bill, which you've taken out before he's seen it, right? 425 00:25:56,548 --> 00:25:59,801 So you're sitting in the living room, and you're talking. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. 426 00:25:59,926 --> 00:26:02,678 And when he's not looking, you drop it on the ground like that. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. 427 00:26:02,804 --> 00:26:08,142 And when he turns around, you go, ''Oh, a five-dollar bill. 428 00:26:08,226 --> 00:26:12,063 Look at that. Look at this. Mr Blah-blah, would you like it back?'' 429 00:26:12,188 --> 00:26:16,192 And two things happen right away, okay? First thing, he says, ''It's not mine.'' 430 00:26:16,317 --> 00:26:19,820 That's when you say, ''Must've been, because it certainly isn't mine, sir.'' 431 00:26:19,904 --> 00:26:23,240 Or he says ''Thank you'' and takes it. Either case... 432 00:26:23,366 --> 00:26:26,410 he think's you are an incredibly honest guy and you're in, see? 433 00:26:26,536 --> 00:26:30,373 - Yeah, you're in. That's good. - You start chippin' away at these people, and that's the way you get in. 434 00:26:30,456 --> 00:26:35,127 - Moe. - Hey. Hey, gimme the five dollars. 435 00:26:35,253 --> 00:26:38,714 - Hey, putz! - Come on, Stanley. Let's go. 436 00:26:40,091 --> 00:26:44,136 Look, Carly, me and Stanley. Like a first date. 437 00:26:47,140 --> 00:26:50,810 ...in your neighbourhood today. Would you be interested in seeing-- 438 00:26:50,894 --> 00:26:53,229 You're gonna like this business, Stanley. 439 00:26:53,354 --> 00:26:56,815 Your time is your own. You make good money. You meet a lot of girls. 440 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:01,695 What, you got a special bargain when you bought this car? 441 00:27:01,821 --> 00:27:04,114 It comes cheaper without them windows? 442 00:27:14,334 --> 00:27:19,756 Guys playin' tit for tat. It's not my game. 443 00:27:23,218 --> 00:27:25,595 - Lets play some hardball. - What's goin' on here? 444 00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:28,639 - Stanley, forget about it. - I'm gonna find out everything about this son of a bitch... 445 00:27:28,723 --> 00:27:32,685 and then I'm gonna find the one thing that cuts him right to the quick. 446 00:27:33,853 --> 00:27:36,188 Let's go on inside, make some calls. 447 00:27:37,941 --> 00:27:40,693 Come on, BB. 448 00:27:40,818 --> 00:27:43,403 I wonder if he's married. 449 00:28:04,133 --> 00:28:07,344 Could I get some help around here? Excuse me. I'm sorry. 450 00:28:07,428 --> 00:28:10,889 Uh, could you tell me, are these any good, do you know? The-The television dinners. 451 00:28:11,015 --> 00:28:13,767 I don't think so. Not a lot of them, anyway. They're not too good for you. 452 00:28:14,978 --> 00:28:17,438 My wife just died. 453 00:28:19,399 --> 00:28:21,567 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - No. 454 00:28:21,693 --> 00:28:26,447 - I'm over it now. It's been a very trying time, though, you know? - I can imagine. 455 00:28:26,573 --> 00:28:29,826 I'm just learning how to eat again. 456 00:28:29,951 --> 00:28:34,121 You know what-what might be a lot more healthy and satisfying would be if you bought yourself a chicken. 457 00:28:34,247 --> 00:28:37,291 You just-- You pop it in the oven for a couple of hours, put a little bit of seasoning on it. 458 00:28:37,375 --> 00:28:39,418 - Cook it at low temperature. It's a lot more tender that way. - Chicken? 459 00:28:39,544 --> 00:28:43,589 Yeah, it-it makes a good meal, and then you can use the leftovers for sandwiches and-- 460 00:28:43,715 --> 00:28:45,758 But you have to sit and watch it cook. 461 00:28:47,135 --> 00:28:49,762 It seems so sad, you know, a man sitting alone... 462 00:28:49,888 --> 00:28:52,849 in a house watching a chicken cook. 463 00:28:54,851 --> 00:28:58,396 Well, you.. you use a timer. 464 00:28:58,479 --> 00:29:00,522 - Pardon me? - A timer! You know, it's.. 465 00:29:00,607 --> 00:29:03,568 - You-You have it with eggs? - A timer, like.. Yeah, right. That's a very good idea. 466 00:29:03,693 --> 00:29:07,738 - Yeah. - I never thought of that. - He's an amazing sort. He's got the gift. 467 00:29:14,370 --> 00:29:16,413 What's the scoop? 468 00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:20,334 - We got 'em! - You're kidding. - Take a look at that. 469 00:29:23,338 --> 00:29:27,550 Are you fuckin' crazy? You gave away $4,200 worth of aluminum siding free! 470 00:29:27,675 --> 00:29:31,679 Sam, this is the best scam I've ever thought of in my entire life. 471 00:29:31,763 --> 00:29:34,182 Oh! It's in my blood, Sam. 472 00:29:34,307 --> 00:29:39,061 I'm brilliant! I'm fuckin' brilliant! This scam is so brilliant, I'm beside myself! 473 00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:41,564 - What are you talkin' about? - All right. Here it is. 474 00:29:41,648 --> 00:29:43,983 You go back into the house, and this is what you say. 475 00:29:44,108 --> 00:29:46,568 No. Mr Tilley's crazy. He had a nervous breakdown. 476 00:29:46,694 --> 00:29:50,406 - What's that? - Well, he's been under a lot of pressure recently, and he just snapped. 477 00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:52,450 I mean, it's the saddest thing you've ever seen. 478 00:29:52,575 --> 00:29:56,704 But let's be honest. Nobody gives away $4,200 worth of aluminum siding free. 479 00:29:56,788 --> 00:30:01,292 I thought it was very generous. Sometimes the Lord moves in mysterious directions. 480 00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:03,544 ''Mysterious directions''? Let me tell you something. 481 00:30:03,670 --> 00:30:07,048 When I go see his boss and show him this contract, he'll be out of this business. 482 00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:09,758 He'll lose his home. His wife and kids will be thrown on the street. 483 00:30:09,884 --> 00:30:13,888 - They'll probably end up in an institution. - Why do they have to be thrown out into the street? 484 00:30:13,972 --> 00:30:16,975 You don't think his boss is gonna pick up a $4,200 job, do ya? 485 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:19,894 - Hmm. - Can I have a cup of coffee? 486 00:30:19,978 --> 00:30:23,982 - Won't be a minute. - What do you say we just sit down and try to work this out? 487 00:30:24,107 --> 00:30:26,526 Maybe we could flgure out something. 488 00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:30,738 Whoo! I'm a genius! I'm outta the slump! 489 00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:33,282 - Oh, we gotta celebrate. Let's go celebrate. - Let's go. 490 00:30:33,366 --> 00:30:35,785 - Let's go. - We're gonna have a little laughs tonight. 491 00:30:35,869 --> 00:30:39,455 I tell you something. I couldn't believe you could pull it off, but you did. 492 00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:41,958 ''This job is free!'' 493 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,963 The one good thing 494 00:30:49,132 --> 00:30:52,135 In my life 495 00:30:52,260 --> 00:30:54,387 - Has gone away - To Mrs Ernest Tilley. 496 00:30:54,470 --> 00:30:57,806 ♪ I don't know why 497 00:30:57,891 --> 00:31:00,059 ♪ She's gone away 498 00:31:00,184 --> 00:31:02,144 ♪ I don't know where 499 00:31:03,730 --> 00:31:08,234 ♪ Somewhere I can't follow her 500 00:31:08,318 --> 00:31:10,611 - Whenever it came time to measure a job... - The one good thing 501 00:31:10,737 --> 00:31:13,740 - he'd cut the yardstick and re-glue it back together, you see? - Didn't stay too long - No. 502 00:31:13,865 --> 00:31:17,410 - He took out seven inches so his square footage would always be higher. - My back was turned 503 00:31:17,535 --> 00:31:20,120 - That way he'd always make a few extra bucks on the job. - And she was gone - Are you serious? 504 00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:24,209 -Oh, yeah. He'd always put his hand over the break when it came time to measure. -Good thing, where have you gone 505 00:31:24,334 --> 00:31:28,046 - Mm-hmm. - Nobody.. Nobody ever look's at a yard'stick to see how long it is. - Good thing 506 00:31:28,129 --> 00:31:30,381 - The man was a fuckin' genius. - You've been gone too long - I'd love to meet him. 507 00:31:30,465 --> 00:31:33,009 Maybe you will someday, Stanley, if you play your cards right. 508 00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:37,137 People say I should forget 509 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,977 Theres plenty more Don't get upset 510 00:31:44,896 --> 00:31:50,568 People say she's doin' fine 511 00:31:50,652 --> 00:31:56,449 Mutual friends I see sometime 512 00:31:56,532 --> 00:32:02,329 That's not what I-I-I want to hear 513 00:32:02,413 --> 00:32:04,581 - I want to hear - Guys got a million scams. - Oh, God. 514 00:32:04,707 --> 00:32:07,042 - She wants me near - Hey, it's all right. That's not your wife. 515 00:32:07,126 --> 00:32:09,670 - It's safe. You can come up now. - Good thing 516 00:32:09,796 --> 00:32:13,633 Where have you gone 517 00:32:13,716 --> 00:32:18,137 - My good thing, you been gone too long - Good thing 518 00:32:20,265 --> 00:32:25,853 Then one day she came back 519 00:32:25,979 --> 00:32:30,191 I was so happy that I didn't ask 520 00:32:31,693 --> 00:32:34,529 I should've known 521 00:32:34,612 --> 00:32:37,531 - It couldn't last - Scotch straight up? - Yeah. 522 00:32:37,615 --> 00:32:42,578 - Morning came awful fast - Uh, scotch straight up and a rum and Coke for me down at the end of the bar. 523 00:32:42,662 --> 00:32:44,830 - Ooh! Look's like there's good action here tonight, Sammy. - Morning came 524 00:32:44,914 --> 00:32:48,208 - Must be half-price night for divorced women. This place is hoppin'. - Into my room 525 00:32:49,586 --> 00:32:53,715 Oh, Sammy boy! $2,700 sale. 526 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,801 - This job is free, huh? What a beaut, huh? - Good thing 527 00:32:56,885 --> 00:33:00,555 - I'm outta the slump, Sam. I'm ridin' high! I'm back! - You did it, pal. 528 00:33:00,638 --> 00:33:03,932 - Sam, to us. - To us. - Good thing, you been gone too long 529 00:33:05,184 --> 00:33:08,061 - Whoo! - Ya kn.. Ya know somethin', Tilley? 530 00:33:08,187 --> 00:33:11,106 - I'm beginnin' to believe in God. - Yeah, me too. 531 00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:15,068 No, you don't know what I mean. I'm beginnin' to give God more thought. 532 00:33:15,153 --> 00:33:19,574 Whoa, wait. Oh, you were.. you were never one of those atheists, were ya? 533 00:33:19,657 --> 00:33:22,034 Me? Uh, no, no. Look, I'm not sayin' that. I'm just... 534 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,787 beginnin' to believe in God more, that's all. 535 00:33:24,871 --> 00:33:27,748 Well, what'd you.. what'd you do, have some kind of religious experience? 536 00:33:27,874 --> 00:33:31,919 Yeah, well, I took my wife for lunch yesterday. We went and had some smorgasbord, and it kinda happened. 537 00:33:32,045 --> 00:33:35,173 - At the smor-- You found God at the smorgasbord? - Yeah. 538 00:33:35,298 --> 00:33:38,342 - Oh. Oh, well, that's a good place to find God. - I go there, and I see celery. 539 00:33:38,426 --> 00:33:41,762 - No. I see celery. I see lettuce, tomatoes, cauliflower, and I think: - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 540 00:33:41,846 --> 00:33:44,765 - All these things come outta the ground. They just grow outta the ground. - Yeah. 541 00:33:44,849 --> 00:33:47,726 - Yeah. - I mean, they had corn-- outta the ground. Radish, outta the ground. 542 00:33:47,810 --> 00:33:50,938 - Mm-hmm. - And you say to yourself, ''How can all these things come outta the ground?'' 543 00:33:51,064 --> 00:33:53,858 - Yeah. - Ya know what I'm talkin' about? - Yeah. - All these things are outta the ground. 544 00:33:53,942 --> 00:33:58,404 - I know. They just kinda-- - I mean, how can that be? Outta the dirt, all these things came. 545 00:33:58,529 --> 00:34:02,449 And I'm not even getting into the fruits. I'm just dealing with the vegetables right now. 546 00:34:02,575 --> 00:34:06,161 With all these things coming out of the earth, there must be a God. 547 00:34:07,914 --> 00:34:10,875 Yeah, well, I'm not gettin' the same religious effect that came over you. 548 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,336 I mean, I don't know why I don't feel like runnin' to a church... 549 00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:17,131 to pray right this second, if you know what I mean. 550 00:34:17,173 --> 00:34:19,758 - Ya gotta admit, it's amazing. Nature. Outta the ground. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 551 00:34:19,884 --> 00:34:22,761 - And anything you name, it's outta the ground. - I don't believe it. 552 00:34:22,887 --> 00:34:25,764 Look-- Look over there. See that guy standin' there, that little son of a bitch? 553 00:34:25,890 --> 00:34:28,142 - Yeah. - He's the guy that crashed into my car. - That's him? 554 00:34:28,226 --> 00:34:30,436 Look at him. Little Lord Fauntleroy. 555 00:34:30,562 --> 00:34:34,941 - Mr Banana Head is here. - Who's Mr Banana Head? 556 00:34:35,024 --> 00:34:38,861 That's the crazy guy that banged into my car, smashed my windows in. 557 00:34:38,945 --> 00:34:41,864 - I don't believe it. I'm gonna get him! - Hey, wait a minute! 558 00:34:41,948 --> 00:34:45,242 - I'm gonna get 'im. - Wait. I'll go with ya. 559 00:34:45,326 --> 00:34:48,329 - Well, I hope so. Yeah. - Can I buy you a drink? - I was so happy 560 00:34:48,413 --> 00:34:51,999 That I didn't ask 561 00:34:52,083 --> 00:34:57,546 - I should've known it couldn't last - He vanished. There he is. 562 00:34:57,672 --> 00:35:01,342 - Really? That sounds great. - Morning came awful fast 563 00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:03,510 You got a lotta nerve bangin' into my car... 564 00:35:03,595 --> 00:35:06,806 but you got one hell of a lotta nerve smashing my windows in. 565 00:35:06,931 --> 00:35:09,725 Why would I wanna smash your windows? 566 00:35:09,809 --> 00:35:12,394 - You didn't smash my windows in? - Hey, I'm a hard-workin' guy. 567 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,563 I don't go around smashin' peoples windows. 568 00:35:14,647 --> 00:35:18,734 - You did not smash my windows in? You did not smash my windows in? - Good thing 569 00:35:18,818 --> 00:35:21,821 - You poke me one more time, and I'm gonna have to redefine your face! - Good thing 570 00:35:21,946 --> 00:35:26,116 - Aha! - All right, wait! - Hey, take it outside! 571 00:35:26,242 --> 00:35:30,120 - Hey, wait! - Get your mitts off! - Comin' through! - No, no, no, no! Hand's off! 572 00:35:30,246 --> 00:35:32,623 We don't do this inside. We take it outside, all right? 573 00:35:32,749 --> 00:35:36,461 - We settle this in the parking lot. - Good thing - Oh, no. You're not gonna get near my car again. 574 00:35:36,544 --> 00:35:39,421 Hey, wait a minute. I didn't even drive tonight. You wanna duke it? Let's go! 575 00:35:39,547 --> 00:35:41,799 - After you. - Oh, no, after you. - Thank you very much. 576 00:35:41,925 --> 00:35:44,135 - I'm not gonna turn my back on that son of a bitch. - Excuse me. 577 00:35:44,260 --> 00:35:47,388 - What's up? - Carly. - Don't worry. We're behind ya. - What's the problem, Moe? 578 00:35:47,472 --> 00:35:50,308 - I don't know, but let's find out. - Come on. Easy, guys. 579 00:35:50,391 --> 00:35:52,393 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. Where you goin'? - I've had enough of this. 580 00:35:52,477 --> 00:35:54,687 - Go ahead and give them a lot of room. - Where are we goin'? - It's not gonna take long. 581 00:35:54,771 --> 00:35:57,023 - I'm tellin' ya. - Look at this guy. - Quit waltzin' around, huh? 582 00:35:57,106 --> 00:35:59,191 Hey, hey, where ya goin', Timbuktu? 583 00:35:59,317 --> 00:36:02,194 - Come on. - Look at the size of this one. - A beatings a beating, no matter where you get it. 584 00:36:02,278 --> 00:36:05,322 - Enough is enough, I'll tell you that. - Where ya goin'? - Right here. Right here. Right here. 585 00:36:05,406 --> 00:36:09,243 - Is this where you want it? Huh? Yeah? - What is this? What is this? 586 00:36:09,327 --> 00:36:11,996 - Hey, hey, uh, we didn't ask for a crowd, ya know? - Right. 587 00:36:12,121 --> 00:36:14,289 - Uh, we're not charging admission. Come on. Back up. Gimme some room. - Back up. Spread out. 588 00:36:14,374 --> 00:36:16,584 - Come on. Back up. Give the guy some room. - Hold my watch. 589 00:36:16,668 --> 00:36:19,712 - Let's have some room here. - Come on. Back it up. - Come over here a second. 590 00:36:19,796 --> 00:36:22,590 - Spread out. - Huh? - Hey, ease off. Ease off. - All right, all right. 591 00:36:22,674 --> 00:36:24,676 - Step back a little bit. - Yeah. 592 00:36:24,759 --> 00:36:27,386 - Come on. Gimme some room, all right? - All right. - Come on. Stand back. 593 00:36:27,512 --> 00:36:29,889 - Give him some room. - Back up there. - Hey, hey. Ease off, huh? 594 00:36:29,973 --> 00:36:32,976 - Hey, I mean it. Let's have some room here, guys. Come on. - All right. Back up, guys. Come on. 595 00:36:33,059 --> 00:36:36,520 - Move back. - Ease off! - Give 'em a little room. 596 00:36:36,646 --> 00:36:39,523 - You ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. 597 00:36:39,607 --> 00:36:42,318 - You ready? - You ready? Let's go. - Back up. Police. 598 00:36:46,906 --> 00:36:49,742 You're a lucky man the police showed. 599 00:36:49,826 --> 00:36:53,663 You think so, huh? We'll see who's lucky. 600 00:36:53,788 --> 00:36:57,124 - Your mother call the police? Get a load of this guy. - We'll see who's lucky. 601 00:36:57,250 --> 00:37:00,503 - Your mother call the cops? - You pansy-ass. - Tough guy, aren't ya? 602 00:37:06,426 --> 00:37:09,679 - You want Chinese? - I can go for some wonton soup. - Let's go. 603 00:37:16,728 --> 00:37:18,646 Surprise! 604 00:37:20,273 --> 00:37:23,651 - Surprise! - Oh, my God! I never expected this! 605 00:37:23,776 --> 00:37:27,738 - What a lovely cake! - Yeah, register him for his social security number. 606 00:37:27,822 --> 00:37:30,825 Ada, if you're smart, you won't come back. 607 00:37:30,909 --> 00:37:33,286 Come on. What are you waiting for? Blow out the candles now. 608 00:37:33,411 --> 00:37:36,414 Well, nine candles. One for every month. 609 00:37:38,708 --> 00:37:42,795 Oh, she may be weary 610 00:37:42,879 --> 00:37:45,715 - It look's wonderful! - Can I have a piece? - Girls, they do get weary 611 00:37:45,798 --> 00:37:47,841 So, what's new? 612 00:37:49,886 --> 00:37:53,306 -I just decided. I'm goin' out with him. -You're kidding. 613 00:37:53,389 --> 00:37:55,766 - No. - You're kidding. - No, I'm not kidding. 614 00:37:55,892 --> 00:38:01,355 - You're kidding! - I have to. I have to! - They get weary 615 00:38:01,439 --> 00:38:04,358 I wanna know what it's like to be with someone else. 616 00:38:04,484 --> 00:38:08,821 'Cause if what I've got with Tilley is as good as it gets, I just.. 617 00:38:08,947 --> 00:38:11,658 - I gotta know. - Well, you're right. 618 00:38:11,783 --> 00:38:16,037 - You and Tilley aren't exactly Jackie and John F., but you are.. - Will you stop with that? 619 00:38:16,162 --> 00:38:18,497 Well, how are you gonna manage it? 620 00:38:18,581 --> 00:38:20,874 Tilley doesn't even get in till 2:00 in the morning. 621 00:38:20,959 --> 00:38:23,211 Oh, God! I hope you know what you're doing. 622 00:38:23,294 --> 00:38:27,881 - I don't know what I'm doing. - You speak to some guy in the frozen-food section.. - Shh, shh, shh, shh. 623 00:38:27,966 --> 00:38:31,010 - You could jeopardize your whole marriage. - I.. Oh! 624 00:38:31,094 --> 00:38:35,139 You know, everything I've ever done in my whole life has been safe and practical... 625 00:38:35,265 --> 00:38:38,226 and what's it gotten me? 626 00:38:38,351 --> 00:38:40,311 Here's to who knows what. 627 00:38:48,945 --> 00:38:54,200 In the wee small hours 628 00:38:54,325 --> 00:38:56,452 Of the morning 629 00:38:58,204 --> 00:39:04,168 While the whole wide world is fast asleep 630 00:39:06,921 --> 00:39:10,090 You lie awake 631 00:39:10,216 --> 00:39:13,177 And you think about the girl 632 00:39:13,303 --> 00:39:16,472 - Guess I'm still a little nervous. - And never ever think 633 00:39:16,556 --> 00:39:19,725 - You wanna go home? - Of counting sheep - No. 634 00:39:19,851 --> 00:39:22,728 Not right away. 635 00:39:22,812 --> 00:39:26,524 - When your lonely heart - You know, every time I hear Sinatra... 636 00:39:26,608 --> 00:39:30,570 - I remember the time I was working in Atlantic City as a busboy... - Has learned its lesson 637 00:39:30,653 --> 00:39:33,822 - You'd be hers if only - and Sinatra was singing at the 500 Club. 638 00:39:33,907 --> 00:39:38,286 - We used to say to our dates, ''You wanna go over and hear Sinatra?'' - She would call 639 00:39:38,369 --> 00:39:41,038 - In the wee small hours - And we'd take 'em to the alley behind the club. 640 00:39:41,164 --> 00:39:45,001 - And we'd lean against the door and listen to the music. - Of the morning 641 00:39:45,126 --> 00:39:48,921 - I think the girls were expecting something a little more uptown. - That's the time 642 00:39:49,047 --> 00:39:52,341 You miss her most of 643 00:39:52,425 --> 00:39:56,345 - I'd go with you and lean against the door. - All 644 00:39:56,429 --> 00:40:01,058 Most of.. You miss her.. 645 00:40:01,142 --> 00:40:03,394 Time.. 646 00:40:03,478 --> 00:40:05,521 Of all 647 00:40:05,647 --> 00:40:11,027 - Most of - You got good aim. 648 00:40:11,152 --> 00:40:13,154 - I sure do. - All 649 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:46,604 It's not for me to say 650 00:40:46,688 --> 00:40:49,941 May I have the number to the Belvedere Hotel, please? 651 00:40:52,902 --> 00:40:54,820 I put it all together myself, huh? It's, like... 652 00:40:54,946 --> 00:40:57,949 - the red is with this and blue because of my eyes. - Yeah, yeah. 653 00:40:58,074 --> 00:41:01,202 -John Edgar Howard room. - May I speak to Mr Tilley, please? 654 00:41:01,286 --> 00:41:04,706 Yeah, he's here. Just a minute. Hey, Tilley! 655 00:41:04,831 --> 00:41:06,999 - Wilson. - Somebody want's you on the phone! 656 00:41:07,083 --> 00:41:09,460 - You got nothin' that matches there. - Yeah. Oh. 657 00:41:09,586 --> 00:41:11,838 Well, the black has got the stripes on it. 658 00:41:14,007 --> 00:41:17,010 - We argued, so I said, ''Forget it.'' - What do you think? 659 00:41:19,470 --> 00:41:21,930 Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's Tilley here. 660 00:41:22,056 --> 00:41:25,976 Hey, asshole. This is the ultimate ''fuck you.'' 661 00:41:26,060 --> 00:41:30,272 - I just poked your wife. - What are you talkin' about? 662 00:41:30,398 --> 00:41:33,984 Yeah, she's in my bed right now with a very big smile on her face. 663 00:41:34,110 --> 00:41:36,987 Well, that's just fine by me. She's a pain in the ass... 664 00:41:37,071 --> 00:41:39,156 an albatross around my neck. 665 00:41:39,282 --> 00:41:42,702 You're welcome to her. Keep her! And may you both rot in hell! 666 00:41:47,081 --> 00:41:50,417 And speaking just for me 667 00:41:50,501 --> 00:41:53,253 Is this a set-up? 668 00:41:53,379 --> 00:41:57,132 Oh, that son of a bitch! He set me up. 669 00:41:57,258 --> 00:42:01,011 I thought I got him. He got me. That son of a bitch! He set me up! 670 00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:12,314 Time to hit the road, Nora. 671 00:42:12,398 --> 00:42:14,400 Good. 672 00:42:15,777 --> 00:42:18,237 Darn dresses! There you go! 673 00:42:20,448 --> 00:42:23,409 Oh, you came with a suitcase. 674 00:42:23,493 --> 00:42:25,536 Go on a nice little trip. 675 00:42:26,829 --> 00:42:30,123 All of it. Sweaters. 676 00:42:30,208 --> 00:42:33,127 Sweaters. Oh. Arrange 'em real nice. 677 00:42:33,253 --> 00:42:35,964 Yeah, curtains. There. Get out of there! 678 00:42:37,173 --> 00:42:41,343 Oh, and take these frilly things, won't ya? Won't ya? Won't ya? 679 00:42:42,929 --> 00:42:46,682 Those too! 680 00:42:46,808 --> 00:42:51,187 Yeah, it's all gotta go. It's all goin'. It's all goin'. It's all goin'. 681 00:42:51,271 --> 00:42:54,148 Out! Out! Out! 682 00:42:55,942 --> 00:42:59,362 Jewellery. 683 00:42:59,445 --> 00:43:02,489 Gloves and scarves. 684 00:43:02,574 --> 00:43:05,076 Toiletries! Yeah. 685 00:43:05,159 --> 00:43:09,371 Curlers! Spray-net! All this crap! 686 00:43:13,334 --> 00:43:15,502 All right. 687 00:43:21,342 --> 00:43:23,510 Fuck it! What else? 688 00:43:26,389 --> 00:43:29,392 Knitting. You don't wanna leave me without your knitting. 689 00:43:29,517 --> 00:43:31,477 Handbags! 690 00:43:33,730 --> 00:43:39,068 I'm a free man! I'm a free man! 691 00:43:39,193 --> 00:43:41,153 Free! 692 00:43:55,668 --> 00:44:00,964 In the wee small hours 693 00:44:01,090 --> 00:44:03,050 Of the morning 694 00:44:05,011 --> 00:44:10,057 While the whole wide world is fast asleep 695 00:44:13,603 --> 00:44:16,814 You lie awake 696 00:44:16,940 --> 00:44:20,610 And you think about the girl 697 00:44:20,693 --> 00:44:23,278 And never ever think 698 00:44:23,363 --> 00:44:27,241 Of counting sheep 699 00:44:29,494 --> 00:44:33,331 When your lonely heart 700 00:44:33,414 --> 00:44:36,125 Has learned its lesson 701 00:44:37,293 --> 00:44:43,048 You'd be hers if only she would call 702 00:44:45,009 --> 00:44:50,723 - In the wee small hours of the morning - Oh, my God! 703 00:44:52,267 --> 00:44:54,894 That's the time 704 00:44:55,019 --> 00:44:58,647 You miss her most 705 00:44:58,731 --> 00:45:03,694 Of all 706 00:45:13,371 --> 00:45:16,332 He must've gone crazy. I don't know what happened. 707 00:45:16,457 --> 00:45:20,043 You know, I mean, he must've found out I was with you. 708 00:45:20,128 --> 00:45:24,006 I.. I don't know.. I don't know what to do. 709 00:45:24,090 --> 00:45:28,260 - Can I stay with you a day or two? - Sure. 710 00:45:30,513 --> 00:45:34,058 - When your lonely heart - Sure. 711 00:45:45,236 --> 00:45:47,446 - Hello? - This is Mason-Dixon Aluminum Siding Company. 712 00:45:47,572 --> 00:45:52,326 - Would you be interested in our field representative? - There's three or four horses I like on the whole card. 713 00:45:52,410 --> 00:45:55,121 - I like number two. - Tilley, in the offlce. 714 00:45:55,246 --> 00:45:57,248 Yeah, well, give me a minute to get a cup of coffee, Wing. 715 00:45:57,373 --> 00:45:59,333 What about Super Highway in the seventh race? 716 00:45:59,459 --> 00:46:01,919 He's paying seven-to-one. He ran well the last time out. 717 00:46:02,045 --> 00:46:04,922 Super Highway with Gomez up. That's good. I like that. 718 00:46:05,048 --> 00:46:07,133 Number four in the fourth, 20 bucks. 719 00:46:07,258 --> 00:46:09,510 - Who's that? - I don't know. It just came to me. 720 00:46:09,636 --> 00:46:12,305 I put my hand to my forehead. Four in the fourth. 721 00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:14,890 Number four in the fourth? Rider's Revenge. 722 00:46:15,016 --> 00:46:17,768 Sixty to one, never been in the money. Nice pick, Tilley. 723 00:46:17,894 --> 00:46:21,063 Rider's Revenge. I like that name. It's good. 724 00:46:21,147 --> 00:46:23,232 You like that name? I'll give you a better name. Putz. 725 00:46:23,358 --> 00:46:26,694 Hey, we can be scientiflc from now to doomsday. 726 00:46:26,819 --> 00:46:29,655 Every once in a while, we gotta use our balls and go for the big one. 727 00:46:29,739 --> 00:46:31,824 -You know what I mean? -Tilley, it's got nothing to do with it. 728 00:46:31,950 --> 00:46:34,077 You gotta take the paper, figure what the horse can do... 729 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:37,496 what their past record is, what they're doin' now, you know what I mean? 730 00:46:37,622 --> 00:46:40,833 There are things called jockeys: they get on top of the horse. 731 00:46:42,210 --> 00:46:44,378 Hey, Wing, what's up? 732 00:46:44,504 --> 00:46:47,757 - Ow! - You lost a sale, Tilley. 733 00:46:47,882 --> 00:46:51,051 - The Hudsons loan didn't go through. - What do you mean, they wouldn't clear the loan? 734 00:46:51,177 --> 00:46:54,263 Oh, this guy's a real beauty. He's got three out'standing shoplifting charges... 735 00:46:54,389 --> 00:46:56,474 failure to pay child support in a previous marriage. 736 00:46:56,558 --> 00:46:59,060 The guy's overdue on his mortgage, overdue on his car payment... 737 00:46:59,143 --> 00:47:02,771 and he just lost his job for misappropriation of funds. 738 00:47:02,855 --> 00:47:05,065 What's wrong with this world? 739 00:47:05,149 --> 00:47:07,526 I mean, what, there are sick people out there! 740 00:47:07,652 --> 00:47:10,237 Thieving son of a bitch like that takes up my time... 741 00:47:10,363 --> 00:47:12,531 cuts into the amount of hours I have available... 742 00:47:12,657 --> 00:47:15,409 to deal with other people who are interested in my wares. 743 00:47:15,535 --> 00:47:17,662 What.. 744 00:47:17,787 --> 00:47:20,956 There's no fuckin' sympathy for the working man in this country! 745 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,709 - Nobody said it was gonna be easy. - Sh.. 746 00:47:23,835 --> 00:47:26,212 - Did you read the paper? - What section? 747 00:47:27,797 --> 00:47:29,924 Take a look at this. 748 00:47:31,175 --> 00:47:33,343 - ''Ocean-front recreational--'' - No, no, no, no, no! 749 00:47:33,469 --> 00:47:36,513 ''Home Improvement Commission.'' 750 00:47:36,639 --> 00:47:39,600 ''Home Improvement Commission hearings begin today.'' 751 00:47:39,726 --> 00:47:42,311 Well, what the hell is this? McCarthyism? 752 00:47:42,395 --> 00:47:44,397 What do they expect to find? Communists? 753 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:49,776 -Just go easy on the scams, Tilley. - Damn. 754 00:47:49,903 --> 00:47:51,863 Bear with me a minute, if you will, please. 755 00:47:51,988 --> 00:47:54,865 All right, all right. Here, here. Here it is. 756 00:47:54,949 --> 00:47:57,993 Now, when you made your initial sales pitch, did you indicate... 757 00:47:58,077 --> 00:48:02,039 that you would be giving a free set of storm windows with the job? 758 00:48:02,165 --> 00:48:06,919 - Free storm windows? - Yes, that you would provide a free set of storm windows with the sale of aluminum siding. 759 00:48:07,045 --> 00:48:11,132 No, sir. I wouldn't be able to make any money if I was giving away storm windows. 760 00:48:11,257 --> 00:48:13,342 -My storm windows cost me somewhere in.. -Yeah, the point being... 761 00:48:13,426 --> 00:48:17,096 that you had no intention of giving away the storm windows. 762 00:48:17,222 --> 00:48:20,683 Uh, no, sir, storm windows, as I recall, was not the issue. 763 00:48:20,767 --> 00:48:23,060 So you weren't dangling a free set of storm windows... 764 00:48:23,144 --> 00:48:26,814 as a come-on to selling them the aluminum siding job? 765 00:48:26,940 --> 00:48:29,609 No, sir, I merely told the folks that the storm windows... 766 00:48:29,651 --> 00:48:32,362 would enhance the beauty of their house. 767 00:48:32,445 --> 00:48:35,573 - What do we make of all this? - ...down on their heating bill.. 768 00:48:35,657 --> 00:48:39,369 I think it's the future, Moe. 769 00:48:39,494 --> 00:48:42,747 - Where do you think they're getting all this information from? - I don't know. 770 00:48:42,872 --> 00:48:45,040 But any tin man gets into that hot seat, he's had it. 771 00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:48,502 Yeah, they take away your licence forever. It just don't seem fair. 772 00:48:49,879 --> 00:48:51,881 Boy, I bet I could sell a ton of these things. 773 00:48:52,006 --> 00:48:54,925 What? This? Nah, too silly-lookin'. 774 00:48:55,051 --> 00:48:57,720 - You ever see a dealership? - Nah-uh. 775 00:48:57,804 --> 00:49:00,056 Interesting. 776 00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,700 Tilley, I found this on your desk while I was going over some papers. 777 00:49:21,452 --> 00:49:25,247 IRS? I never remember seeing it. I must've left it with my other bills. 778 00:49:25,373 --> 00:49:27,583 - I wonder what it is. - Maybe it's a refund cheque. 779 00:49:27,709 --> 00:49:30,670 Hmm. Huh, well... 780 00:49:30,795 --> 00:49:34,632 it says here they haven't received my 1961 taxes. 781 00:49:34,757 --> 00:49:36,717 ''According to our records..'' They haven't.. 782 00:49:36,843 --> 00:49:41,013 - They didn't get my cheque for $4,000. - Well, it must be a clerical error. 783 00:49:41,139 --> 00:49:45,685 I..I can't believe they spend all this time and energy to write to me, to single me out. 784 00:49:45,768 --> 00:49:48,145 If I hear that song one more time, Sammy, I'm gonna bust. 785 00:49:48,271 --> 00:49:50,690 What are you talkin' about? You didn't pay your taxes? 786 00:49:50,815 --> 00:49:53,859 Well, I probably forgot. People forget to pay their taxes all the time. 787 00:49:53,985 --> 00:49:57,154 I got so many things on my mind. It just slipped my mind. 788 00:49:57,238 --> 00:50:01,367 I figured they could wait a few years. It's not like they need my money to build a bomber. 789 00:50:01,492 --> 00:50:03,785 You think they're waiting for my money to build a new road? 790 00:50:03,912 --> 00:50:08,166 What, are they sitting up there at the hill going, ''Oh, it's time to go see that fellow on Pimlico Row. 791 00:50:08,291 --> 00:50:11,294 We can't run this government without his $4,000.'' 792 00:50:11,419 --> 00:50:14,463 This is just what I need in my life right now. I'm in a slump: 793 00:50:14,589 --> 00:50:17,341 I'm at war with a crazy Pollack; and I got the IRS on me. 794 00:50:17,467 --> 00:50:21,012 I mean, like, it's like when things go wrong, i-it's, uh.. whoo! 795 00:50:25,016 --> 00:50:27,309 I wanna tell you something. She's getting on my nerves. 796 00:50:27,393 --> 00:50:32,106 - Who, Nora? - Yeah. Yeah. Who else is it gonna be? 797 00:50:32,232 --> 00:50:35,610 ''Who, Nora?'' Who else is there? 798 00:50:35,735 --> 00:50:40,156 The whole idea of being with a girl on consecutive night's is new to me, you know. 799 00:50:40,240 --> 00:50:43,076 It's not like being with a girl for a night. 800 00:50:43,201 --> 00:50:45,620 When they live with you, it's like pressing the point. 801 00:50:45,703 --> 00:50:49,373 They bring all these things with 'em, you know? Like, you go into the bathroom... 802 00:50:49,499 --> 00:50:51,584 you see things you never saw before. 803 00:50:51,668 --> 00:50:54,837 - So what's the to-do? - Well, they-they-they move all your stuff. 804 00:50:54,963 --> 00:50:57,799 It's not where it used to be. I'm just, uh.. I'm not used to it. 805 00:50:57,924 --> 00:51:00,843 You mean, all this time you never lived with a girl? 806 00:51:00,969 --> 00:51:03,680 Have we met? Huh? 807 00:51:03,805 --> 00:51:07,141 How long have we been partners, for crying out loud? No, I never lived with a girl. 808 00:51:07,267 --> 00:51:09,352 Boy, oh, boy, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today? 809 00:51:09,435 --> 00:51:11,937 Yes, I did. I came home last night... 810 00:51:12,021 --> 00:51:15,774 and she was sleeping on my side of the bed. 811 00:51:15,900 --> 00:51:19,320 My whole life, I never got up on the left side. 812 00:51:19,445 --> 00:51:21,864 I like the left side. 813 00:51:21,948 --> 00:51:25,701 I came close once. A long time ago in the Catskills, I met a girl, Dorian. 814 00:51:25,785 --> 00:51:27,912 We were together for about a week. But, no, no, no! You see... 815 00:51:28,037 --> 00:51:30,205 it's not the same, because.. 816 00:51:30,290 --> 00:51:33,543 She used to go to her room to change and to-to do all that stuff, you know? 817 00:51:33,626 --> 00:51:35,878 She didn't bring her things over to my room. 818 00:51:35,962 --> 00:51:38,381 - There's people out here. - I'm not making a scene. I just want to.. 819 00:51:38,506 --> 00:51:43,802 - I'm going to work. - All this because I'm trying to get even with some guy. 820 00:51:45,138 --> 00:51:48,933 You know what? I'm gonna go see her, and I'm gonna.. 821 00:51:49,017 --> 00:51:52,103 I'm gonna put an end to this. 822 00:51:58,902 --> 00:52:01,446 Is that him? 823 00:52:03,364 --> 00:52:07,201 Yeah. Bill! 824 00:52:10,246 --> 00:52:13,249 - Glad you stopped by. What a surprise! - Listen. Listen, listen. 825 00:52:13,374 --> 00:52:16,794 - I..I have a problem. - Oh, how can I help? 826 00:52:16,878 --> 00:52:20,548 Well, the problem is-is, uh, you. 827 00:52:20,673 --> 00:52:25,094 - You're the problem. - Really? How so? 828 00:52:25,220 --> 00:52:29,724 - Well, uh, there are these, uh, things that are bothering me. - Like what? 829 00:52:29,849 --> 00:52:32,685 - Well, you know, things. - Things? 830 00:52:34,145 --> 00:52:37,064 Things. You know, stuff, like, uh, stuff that comes up. 831 00:52:37,190 --> 00:52:40,193 You know, like, uh, annoyances. 832 00:52:40,318 --> 00:52:43,112 - Annoyances? - It's very hard to explain. 833 00:52:43,238 --> 00:52:47,742 - Yeah, well.. well, try. - It's very.. 834 00:52:47,867 --> 00:52:50,995 All right, just as an example: Last night I came home... 835 00:52:51,079 --> 00:52:56,167 I get undressed and I realized that you were sleeping on my side of the bed. 836 00:52:56,251 --> 00:52:58,711 Now, this is the side of the bed that I always sleep on, you know? 837 00:52:58,836 --> 00:53:01,421 I mean, I..I..I've always done that. 838 00:53:01,506 --> 00:53:04,675 Well, why didn't you just nudge me a little bit... 839 00:53:04,801 --> 00:53:07,887 you know, ask me to go to the other side? 840 00:53:09,430 --> 00:53:12,307 Because... 841 00:53:12,433 --> 00:53:15,310 I didn't wanna wake you up. 842 00:53:15,436 --> 00:53:18,313 No, and I..I thought you'd think it was silly or something. 843 00:53:18,398 --> 00:53:21,067 - Well, it's easily changed. - No, but there are other things... 844 00:53:21,192 --> 00:53:24,195 you know, bigger things. 845 00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,322 Oh, boy, just talking about this now... 846 00:53:26,447 --> 00:53:28,907 it sound's so silly. 847 00:53:38,251 --> 00:53:41,379 You know, if you think all this is, um... 848 00:53:41,504 --> 00:53:44,798 going too fast, maybe I should move out. 849 00:53:44,924 --> 00:53:49,219 I think that's what you're trying to tell me, Bill. 850 00:53:49,345 --> 00:53:52,848 I really care for you, but, you know, if you think it's best. 851 00:53:55,184 --> 00:53:58,145 I don't want to make you unhappy. 852 00:54:04,611 --> 00:54:08,740 I don't think we have to take any drastic action. 853 00:54:13,077 --> 00:54:16,872 - I just thought I wanted to get some things off my chest. - Well, I'm glad that you did. 854 00:54:16,998 --> 00:54:19,542 - I guess I just wanted to talk it out. - No. You nip it in the bud. 855 00:54:19,667 --> 00:54:22,252 - Yeah. - Like adults. 856 00:54:25,298 --> 00:54:30,261 Listen, uh, I'm gonna go catch the last couple of races at Pimlico. Wanna come? 857 00:54:30,345 --> 00:54:33,556 Oh, I gotta work. 858 00:54:33,681 --> 00:54:35,891 I know that. 859 00:55:01,834 --> 00:55:04,670 Good thing 860 00:55:04,754 --> 00:55:07,214 Go on, baby. Go on! Come on, Paris Red! 861 00:55:07,340 --> 00:55:11,218 That's it! Make your move! Make me $4,000 richer. 40 to 1. 862 00:55:11,302 --> 00:55:14,305 Come on. There's a guy who's got 100 buck's on you up here, Paris Red. 863 00:55:14,389 --> 00:55:18,351 Let's go, baby! Come on. That's it. That's it. Ride him. Go! Go! 864 00:55:18,476 --> 00:55:21,312 $4,000, don't slip away! 865 00:55:21,437 --> 00:55:23,564 Go, three. Go, three. Come on, baby. Come on. 866 00:55:23,690 --> 00:55:26,693 Ride him, you sucker. Come on, Paris Red. Let's go, baby. 867 00:55:26,818 --> 00:55:30,196 Let's go. Let's go. No! No! 868 00:55:31,364 --> 00:55:34,075 - Good thing -Jeez. - Yeah, I got myself a winner. 869 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,202 Good thing 870 00:55:39,414 --> 00:55:42,750 Hey, hey, hey Ooh, ooh, ooh 871 00:55:42,834 --> 00:55:45,837 Why don't you go to H & R Block and get your taxes straightened out? 872 00:55:45,962 --> 00:55:49,966 And have some guy rake me over the coals for spendin' on this and that? No, thanks. 873 00:55:50,091 --> 00:55:52,343 You got some green. Give the government somethin'. 874 00:55:52,468 --> 00:55:56,680 Fuck 'em. Right now, I got $163 in my pocket, and I ain't partin' with it. 875 00:55:56,806 --> 00:55:59,058 It's like some guy tryin' to sell me life insurance. 876 00:55:59,183 --> 00:56:01,476 You think I want to take money out of my pocket to give it to some jerk... 877 00:56:01,603 --> 00:56:03,605 so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? 878 00:56:03,688 --> 00:56:06,107 No way, Sam. You gotta live for today. 879 00:56:06,232 --> 00:56:09,026 I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm sayin'? 880 00:56:09,152 --> 00:56:11,529 Only too well. 881 00:56:11,654 --> 00:56:15,074 Hey! Mr Merengue went to the track. 882 00:56:15,158 --> 00:56:18,870 Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? 883 00:56:18,995 --> 00:56:21,872 Heh. Your sarcasms killin' me. 884 00:56:21,956 --> 00:56:25,417 I thought you were lookin' to get even, pal. 885 00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:39,848 I don't know who your accountant is, mister... 886 00:56:39,933 --> 00:56:42,936 but the way I count, you're down on the debit side. 887 00:56:43,019 --> 00:56:48,691 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. - Who's stuck with my wife, you or me? 888 00:56:50,401 --> 00:56:52,611 Okay. 889 00:56:53,988 --> 00:56:56,031 Then you win. 890 00:56:59,202 --> 00:57:01,787 I win? 891 00:57:03,873 --> 00:57:08,294 - That guy'd never let me win. - For cryin' out loud, let it go at that. You win! 892 00:57:08,378 --> 00:57:12,507 I couldn't have won. I smell a rat. 893 00:57:12,632 --> 00:57:15,343 What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? 894 00:57:15,426 --> 00:57:19,304 - Whats that mean, Mr Gable? - Well, you know what I do, Alan? 895 00:57:19,430 --> 00:57:22,641 I pick certain houses that are strategically located. 896 00:57:22,725 --> 00:57:26,979 We put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, I give you $200. 897 00:57:28,439 --> 00:57:30,524 - Two hundred dollars? - That's right. 898 00:57:30,650 --> 00:57:33,778 Now, God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. 899 00:57:33,861 --> 00:57:36,780 It's perfectly located for that. 900 00:57:36,906 --> 00:57:39,450 Alan, put out your hand. 901 00:57:41,452 --> 00:57:45,581 100, 200, 300, 400. 902 00:57:47,959 --> 00:57:51,212 Alan, I'm giving you commission on two referrals... 903 00:57:51,337 --> 00:57:53,505 before I even put a panel on the side of this house. 904 00:57:53,631 --> 00:57:55,841 That's how confident I feel. 905 00:57:55,967 --> 00:57:58,302 - Y-You think that many people are gonna drive.. - Oh, I'm certain. 906 00:57:58,386 --> 00:58:01,055 I'm not givin' away $400 for my health. 907 00:58:01,180 --> 00:58:04,266 I'm a businessman. I'm a good businessman... 908 00:58:04,350 --> 00:58:06,852 and this is good business for me. 909 00:58:06,978 --> 00:58:09,981 I'm giving it to you because I believe in this house.. 910 00:58:10,106 --> 00:58:12,608 believe it will refer other job's to me, which is money in my pocket... 911 00:58:12,692 --> 00:58:15,528 which is money in your pocket. 912 00:58:17,739 --> 00:58:21,868 - You got a deal, Mr Gable. - You're a wise man, sir.. 913 00:58:21,993 --> 00:58:24,370 - Are you.. - That's great. - Are you all right, sir? 914 00:58:24,454 --> 00:58:26,789 Moe! Moe! 915 00:58:26,873 --> 00:58:30,877 - Finally got a hold of May. She was at her sisters. - Oh, I forgot. 916 00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:34,380 - She'll be here right away. - BB, I don't have any insurance. 917 00:58:34,505 --> 00:58:38,050 If I die, May's got nothing. Nothing. There's nothing for Leonard. 918 00:58:38,176 --> 00:58:40,845 The only money I got is what I got in my pocket. That's all I got. 919 00:58:40,929 --> 00:58:43,139 -Just take it easy, Moe. - Did they sign? 920 00:58:43,223 --> 00:58:46,392 - Don't worry about that now. - God damn it, BB, did you sign 'em? 921 00:58:46,517 --> 00:58:48,644 Don't worry about it. We'll, we'll take care of it tomorrow. 922 00:58:48,728 --> 00:58:52,106 Goddam, my chest hurts. BB, I always told you... 923 00:58:52,232 --> 00:58:54,734 never walk out of a place without a signature. 924 00:58:54,859 --> 00:58:56,902 Someones word ain't spit. 925 00:59:00,031 --> 00:59:04,410 Look, I, uh, I never.. This is all kind of new to me, you know? So, uh.. 926 00:59:04,536 --> 00:59:07,705 Uh, I thought I'd better call. 927 00:59:07,789 --> 00:59:10,917 You know, to tell you that I'm gonna be late. 928 00:59:11,042 --> 00:59:14,587 I don't know, maybe, uh, two or three hours. 929 00:59:14,712 --> 00:59:18,090 I never, uh, had anyone to call before, but I thought I'd better... 930 00:59:18,174 --> 00:59:20,176 you know, call, that's all. 931 00:59:20,260 --> 00:59:24,764 W..Well, why? Do you feel like you have some kind of obligation or somethin'? 932 00:59:24,889 --> 00:59:28,475 No, no, no. No, I..I..I..I don't know. I just thought it was a good idea to call... 933 00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:31,396 is, is-is what I was gonna do. 934 00:59:31,479 --> 00:59:34,440 I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. 935 00:59:34,566 --> 00:59:37,527 I hope he's okay. 936 00:59:37,652 --> 00:59:40,655 I'll see you when you get in. 937 00:59:43,908 --> 00:59:46,201 Yeah. 938 01:00:07,807 --> 01:00:11,310 - Mouse, figure this out, will ya? - Why don't we just split it four ways? 939 01:00:11,394 --> 01:00:13,854 No way! Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 940 01:00:13,938 --> 01:00:16,106 Hold it. I didn't eat anything. 941 01:00:16,232 --> 01:00:19,693 - Now, M..Mouse eat's like an animal. He eat's enough to feed Peru. - Wait. Wait a minute. 942 01:00:19,819 --> 01:00:22,238 Sometimes you eat more than he eats. It'll even out. 943 01:00:22,322 --> 01:00:25,533 Uh-uh! No-No-No way. I don't eat-- I never eat as much as him. 944 01:00:25,658 --> 01:00:28,619 He always eats more than anybody else. I'm not gonna pay for his food. 945 01:00:28,745 --> 01:00:30,747 What are you talkin' about? Today I happened to have... 946 01:00:30,872 --> 01:00:33,249 some eggs and flapjacks, some cantaloupe.. 947 01:00:33,374 --> 01:00:36,043 the cantaloupe was excellent.. some juice and then another juice. 948 01:00:36,127 --> 01:00:39,088 Is that all? I'd get the truck in here. What are you talkin' about here? 949 01:00:39,214 --> 01:00:42,425 - Like an animal, you eat. - But, but, but what did I have yesterday? 950 01:00:42,550 --> 01:00:44,718 I don't know what you had. What..What'd he have, Sam? 951 01:00:44,844 --> 01:00:47,304 Wait. I'll get my notebook out. How the fuck do I know what he had? 952 01:00:47,430 --> 01:00:50,558 Well, I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? 953 01:00:50,683 --> 01:00:53,227 Yesterday? 954 01:00:53,311 --> 01:00:55,479 - Pancakes. - No. 955 01:00:55,605 --> 01:00:57,648 - Then what'd you have? - Guess. 956 01:00:57,732 --> 01:01:00,943 W.. What is this, a quiz show? Wh.. What did you have? Tell us what you had. 957 01:01:01,069 --> 01:01:04,614 - I had very little. - Very little. You eat like an animal. It couldn't have been very little. 958 01:01:04,739 --> 01:01:07,783 I didn't have that much. Doesn't anybody remember? 959 01:01:07,867 --> 01:01:11,787 - We don't remember. I don't know why. - I could've sworn he had pancakes. 960 01:01:11,871 --> 01:01:15,833 - Oh, he said he didn't have pancakes. - I'll give you a clue. 961 01:01:15,959 --> 01:01:18,795 - Maple syrup was involved. - Uh, I don't give a shit. 962 01:01:18,878 --> 01:01:21,630 - French toast. - French toast? He had more than French toast. 963 01:01:21,714 --> 01:01:25,759 - Yes, but not a lot. - Look, I don't give a damn. We'll split it four ways, all right? 964 01:01:25,843 --> 01:01:28,804 Hey, Tilley, Tilley. Your wife is knockin' on the window here, okay? 965 01:01:32,809 --> 01:01:36,229 All right. Well, everyone divvy it up, and I'll make good for four ways. 966 01:01:36,312 --> 01:01:38,522 Jesus Christ. 967 01:01:38,606 --> 01:01:41,525 It was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. 968 01:01:41,651 --> 01:01:45,905 You don't have to tell me. How many times did you drop me off and come up here till all hours of the morning? 969 01:01:45,989 --> 01:01:50,076 - I know. I was just tryin' to be congenial. - I wasn't.. I wasn't starting anything. 970 01:01:50,159 --> 01:01:54,329 - Let's keep the conversation on a kind of nice, light level, you know? - Yeah. It's light. 971 01:01:54,455 --> 01:01:58,834 Yeah. All right. So, what's the scoop, Nora? 972 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:02,922 Well, you know, I thought w.. we should really get divorced. 973 01:02:03,047 --> 01:02:05,591 Makes sense. Want some more coffee? 974 01:02:05,717 --> 01:02:07,552 - Yeah. Yeah, I'll have some. Yeah. - Florence? 975 01:02:07,635 --> 01:02:11,138 - Could we have some more coffee here? - I'm busy. Give me a minute. 976 01:02:15,393 --> 01:02:18,437 - Yeah, well, it's for the best. - Yeah, uh, yeah. 977 01:02:18,521 --> 01:02:21,065 - You know, we were kind of foolin' ourselves there. - Yeah, we were. 978 01:02:21,149 --> 01:02:23,151 - You know, it went wrong somewhere along the line. - Yeah. 979 01:02:23,234 --> 01:02:26,779 I don't remember where, though, but, you know. 980 01:02:26,863 --> 01:02:30,324 You used to make me laugh, Tilley, you know? You used to.. 981 01:02:30,450 --> 01:02:32,702 You used to really make me laugh. 982 01:02:32,827 --> 01:02:38,082 - Yeah. lt went wrong somewhere. I don't know. - It went wrong, yeah. 983 01:02:38,166 --> 01:02:43,588 - So you really like this guy? - Yeah, yeah, I like him. 984 01:02:43,713 --> 01:02:47,049 All in all, I guess it all worked out for the best. 985 01:02:47,175 --> 01:02:50,678 - I'm glad you feel that way. - Yeah. 986 01:02:50,803 --> 01:02:54,723 I mean, can you flgure it out? A guy bangs into my car... 987 01:02:54,807 --> 01:02:59,561 think's I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealin' my wife, you two fall in love. 988 01:02:59,687 --> 01:03:03,315 - Can you flgure that out? - What? 989 01:03:03,399 --> 01:03:06,568 - You tellin' me you didn't know that was the guy? - This was that guy? 990 01:03:06,694 --> 01:03:09,196 I told you I bumped into another tin man. 991 01:03:09,322 --> 01:03:11,615 No, no, no, no. No, he.. No, he didn't tell me he was a tin man. 992 01:03:11,699 --> 01:03:13,909 - He said he sold baby pictures. - Hi there. 993 01:03:14,035 --> 01:03:17,455 It's your life. All I know is this guy's got a bent weathervane. 994 01:03:17,580 --> 01:03:19,915 Oh, God. Oh, God, not another tin man. 995 01:03:20,041 --> 01:03:23,294 - He didn't.. He didn't tell you he was the guy that smashed my car? - No. 996 01:03:25,213 --> 01:03:27,798 Can you beat.. I can't believe this. This is.. 997 01:03:27,882 --> 01:03:29,884 - Uh, Nora, are you okay? - Um.. No, I'm not okay. 998 01:03:29,968 --> 01:03:33,012 You want me to get you a Bromo-Seltzer or somethin'? 999 01:03:35,223 --> 01:03:37,225 - W-W-W-We.. - No, no, no, it's fine. I'm fine. 1000 01:03:37,308 --> 01:03:39,351 - I'm sorry. I.. - I'm fine. - Well, you know, this guy.. 1001 01:03:39,477 --> 01:03:41,770 - I'm tellin' you, the guy is nuts. - Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. 1002 01:03:41,896 --> 01:03:45,441 - I told you he attacked me in the middle of the street. - Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. 1003 01:03:51,406 --> 01:03:54,951 - Are you crazy? - You're a goddam tin man! 1004 01:03:55,034 --> 01:03:57,119 Uh, wait a minute. Wait! Wait a minute! 1005 01:03:57,245 --> 01:03:59,789 Wait! Wait a minute! 1006 01:04:01,749 --> 01:04:04,752 You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband. Screw you! 1007 01:04:14,554 --> 01:04:17,306 Jeez, I'd get rid of that car. It's bad luck. 1008 01:04:19,767 --> 01:04:23,061 - That that guy again? - It's his wife. 1009 01:04:23,146 --> 01:04:25,648 His wife? 1010 01:04:25,732 --> 01:04:29,694 There's definitely some kind of sickness that runs in that family. 1011 01:04:40,663 --> 01:04:43,499 What, is he gonna teach everybody the song now? 1012 01:04:43,625 --> 01:04:47,170 Oh, he's terriflc. I got a lesson with him at 3:30. 1013 01:04:47,295 --> 01:04:50,089 You'll both be out the window at 4:00. 1014 01:04:50,215 --> 01:04:53,509 - Take a look at this crap. - What, the IRS? They don't wanna leave me alone. 1015 01:04:53,593 --> 01:04:55,595 Home improvement commission. 1016 01:04:55,678 --> 01:04:58,806 - They're serious. - What, we gotta appear? 1017 01:04:58,890 --> 01:05:01,475 - It seems to be the gist of what they're saying. - Holy Christ. 1018 01:05:01,601 --> 01:05:04,604 - Can't we ignore it? I mean, how do they know we got the letter? - It's certifled. 1019 01:05:04,729 --> 01:05:07,064 - What do you think about this? - I don't know. 1020 01:05:07,148 --> 01:05:12,403 - I don't know what they got. - Why are all these things happenin' to me? 1021 01:05:19,577 --> 01:05:23,163 Life has been quiet 1022 01:05:23,289 --> 01:05:25,624 Since you've been gone 1023 01:05:27,502 --> 01:05:29,670 It's no fun 1024 01:05:31,089 --> 01:05:32,965 Burnin' for one 1025 01:05:33,049 --> 01:05:36,093 Look at these. They're not that bad, huh? 1026 01:05:36,177 --> 01:05:38,179 Come on, Beeb. Let's dance. 1027 01:05:38,263 --> 01:05:40,556 No, thank's, Ruthie. My dancing shoes are on holiday. 1028 01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:43,893 - Are you sure? - More than sure. 1029 01:05:45,144 --> 01:05:47,855 - So who's the best you ever saw? - Best what? The best tin man I ever saw? 1030 01:05:47,939 --> 01:05:49,815 - Sure. - Well, Harry Fennerman. 1031 01:05:49,899 --> 01:05:54,194 Dandy Flynn had a couple of good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. 1032 01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:56,864 Best tin man I ever saw was Moe. 1033 01:05:56,948 --> 01:05:59,283 Moe is the best there ever was. 1034 01:05:59,367 --> 01:06:01,786 If he could get into the door, he had a sale. 1035 01:06:01,911 --> 01:06:04,788 - What are some of the scams he pulled? - Goddam Nora. 1036 01:06:04,873 --> 01:06:07,125 Goddam. I'm tryin' to adjust, you know? 1037 01:06:07,208 --> 01:06:10,377 I'm tryin' to put up with things I never put up with before in my life. 1038 01:06:10,503 --> 01:06:13,714 Give me a break. Give me a break, woman. 1039 01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:16,843 - What are some of the hustles you and Moe used to pull? - It was gettin' to be real pleasant. 1040 01:06:16,968 --> 01:06:20,054 Can you figure that? 1041 01:06:20,138 --> 01:06:24,142 More than pleasant. Ah, hell with her. 1042 01:06:24,267 --> 01:06:27,561 What is it made Moe so good? 1043 01:06:27,687 --> 01:06:30,564 I bet she went home to her husband. 1044 01:06:33,026 --> 01:06:37,196 - Can you tell me some of the stories about Moe? - What time does this say? 1045 01:06:37,322 --> 01:06:42,076 - It's about 11:30. It's early. - He wouldn't be home yet. 1046 01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:44,370 Here. Here, you take that... 1047 01:06:44,454 --> 01:06:47,290 and let it pay for the, uh, what-do-you-call-it. 1048 01:06:47,373 --> 01:06:49,583 I'll see you, Stanley. 1049 01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,222 They got no right. You know what I'm sayin', Sam? 1050 01:07:03,348 --> 01:07:05,933 They got no right. Commission! 1051 01:07:06,017 --> 01:07:08,352 Listen to me. They got nothing concrete against us... 1052 01:07:08,436 --> 01:07:11,981 because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. 1053 01:07:12,065 --> 01:07:16,194 Where's my car? Why am I not in my car? What happened to my car? 1054 01:07:16,277 --> 01:07:19,613 It's better I drop you off. 1055 01:07:19,697 --> 01:07:22,533 Oh, yeah. 1056 01:07:28,915 --> 01:07:31,375 Oh, headache, headache, headache. 1057 01:07:49,394 --> 01:07:51,604 He's not here. 1058 01:07:58,695 --> 01:08:01,698 The blue Caddy. 1059 01:08:05,410 --> 01:08:07,453 I knew I could smell a rat. 1060 01:08:07,537 --> 01:08:09,997 That son of a bitch is comin' for me. 1061 01:08:15,879 --> 01:08:18,798 You wanna rob my house? I'll make it easy for ya. 1062 01:08:24,304 --> 01:08:27,682 Come on. Rob Tilley. Take everything he's got. 1063 01:08:32,854 --> 01:08:35,064 Come on. 1064 01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:49,120 Hello. 1065 01:08:52,207 --> 01:08:54,709 Tomatoes. Celery. 1066 01:08:54,792 --> 01:08:58,962 Mmm, that's Noras. Meat. No, save that for tomorrow. 1067 01:09:00,048 --> 01:09:03,009 Eggs! Mmm! 1068 01:09:03,092 --> 01:09:05,302 Eggs. 1069 01:09:07,222 --> 01:09:10,016 Come on. Come on. 1070 01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:15,479 Come on. Wake up. 1071 01:09:15,563 --> 01:09:18,023 Come on. Wake up. 1072 01:09:19,984 --> 01:09:22,236 You're a sick man. 1073 01:09:22,362 --> 01:09:26,699 You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me. 1074 01:09:26,783 --> 01:09:29,285 You're one demented human bein'. 1075 01:09:33,581 --> 01:09:36,917 I'm gonna call the police and send you to jail. 1076 01:09:37,001 --> 01:09:40,963 But first, I'm gonna humiliate ya. 1077 01:09:43,007 --> 01:09:47,011 What do you wanna break into my house for? This ain't the fuckin' Rockefeller mansion. 1078 01:09:47,095 --> 01:09:49,847 There ain't 38 television sets here. 1079 01:09:49,973 --> 01:09:53,518 It ain't like somebodys sayin', ''Nelson, I think we've had a break-in. 1080 01:09:53,643 --> 01:09:56,354 Count the set's to see how many we got left.'' 1081 01:09:56,479 --> 01:09:59,356 It ain't like there's tons of jewellery hangin' out of the drawers... 1082 01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:02,693 or I don't know which watch to put on in the morning, I got so many. 1083 01:10:02,777 --> 01:10:07,531 I got enough problems with the IRS bullshit bustin' my balls... 1084 01:10:07,657 --> 01:10:10,785 and the home improvement commission to contend with. 1085 01:10:10,869 --> 01:10:13,162 I don't need aggravation from you. 1086 01:10:13,246 --> 01:10:17,333 How you like your eggs, Babowsky? Over easy? 1087 01:10:28,136 --> 01:10:32,515 A guy breaks into my house, and I'm bein' charged with assault. 1088 01:10:32,599 --> 01:10:35,226 It makes no sense. 1089 01:10:35,351 --> 01:10:37,394 - Let's get it down right. - Yeah, let's-- Yeah. 1090 01:10:37,478 --> 01:10:39,271 - A guy broke into your house. - Mm-hmm. 1091 01:10:39,355 --> 01:10:41,357 - You hit him in the head with a gun... - Correct. 1092 01:10:41,441 --> 01:10:43,317 - went to the refrigerator... - Right. 1093 01:10:43,401 --> 01:10:45,319 - took out eggs and tomatoes... - Exactly. 1094 01:10:45,445 --> 01:10:48,156 - and threw them at him. - Yeah. I was defending myself. 1095 01:10:48,239 --> 01:10:52,409 - He was comin' to steal from me. - It doesn't sound like defence to me. 1096 01:10:52,535 --> 01:10:56,038 Well, I wanted to humiliate the guy. Here I am, out bustin' my ass... 1097 01:10:56,164 --> 01:10:58,749 all day long, trying to make an honest living. 1098 01:10:58,833 --> 01:11:01,919 I come home, and some schmuck is stealin' from me. 1099 01:11:02,003 --> 01:11:05,131 So you hit him with a gun and pelted him with eggs and tomatoes. 1100 01:11:05,256 --> 01:11:07,841 Yeah. I'd have thrown soup at him if I had any soup. 1101 01:11:07,926 --> 01:11:10,553 Is there a law says you can't throw eggs? 1102 01:11:10,637 --> 01:11:14,015 Mr Babowsky claims he didn't break into your house. 1103 01:11:14,140 --> 01:11:16,892 Well, what did I do, invite him in so I could throw eggs at him? 1104 01:11:16,976 --> 01:11:19,895 Maybe Mr Babowsky intended to break into your house... 1105 01:11:20,021 --> 01:11:25,234 but these circumstances of him bein' pelted with eggs and tomatoes is somethin' we need to look into. 1106 01:11:26,527 --> 01:11:28,987 I can't believe this. 1107 01:11:29,072 --> 01:11:32,116 The guy throws eggs at me, and, uh, and, uh, I'm havin' breakfast with him. 1108 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:36,495 - You're gonna sit down with this guy and come to some kind of settlement, you understand? - All right, all right, all right. 1109 01:11:36,621 --> 01:11:39,332 You gotta put an end to this thing. 1110 01:11:39,415 --> 01:11:42,668 Now sit on the paper. I put paper out there for you. 1111 01:11:42,794 --> 01:11:46,088 - I don't want you gettin' that egg all over my leather seats. - Oh, boy, uh, you know, I.. 1112 01:11:46,172 --> 01:11:48,632 Oh, okay. All right. 1113 01:11:48,716 --> 01:11:51,468 -Take your feet off the rug. -What do you want me to do with my feet? 1114 01:11:51,553 --> 01:11:54,514 -Just suspend 'em up in the air, all right? - Oh, Christ. Okay. 1115 01:11:54,597 --> 01:11:56,807 - I had to clean the rug. - Yep. 1116 01:11:56,933 --> 01:12:00,061 All right. Uh, let me tell you what I'm willing to do. 1117 01:12:00,186 --> 01:12:02,479 Uh, I'm gonna drop all the charges against you... 1118 01:12:02,605 --> 01:12:06,066 and we'll, we'll wipe the slate clean. 1119 01:12:06,150 --> 01:12:09,820 - I appreciate it. - You see how easy it is to clear it up? 1120 01:12:09,946 --> 01:12:13,115 Okay? That's it? That's an end to it? 1121 01:12:13,199 --> 01:12:16,035 All right, let's eat. Yo, hon. 1122 01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:20,080 - Okay, here's your cheque. - I don't know how the slate get's wiped clean... 1123 01:12:20,164 --> 01:12:22,207 when he breaks into my house and I'm the one charged. 1124 01:12:22,292 --> 01:12:25,753 N-N-N-N-No.. I told you I was not breaking into your house. I was looking for your wife. 1125 01:12:25,837 --> 01:12:29,882 - Hey, I thought we were gonna put it to bed. Are we gonna put it to bed or what? Okay? - All right. It's okay. 1126 01:12:29,966 --> 01:12:32,385 - All right? - I'm too tired. 1127 01:12:32,510 --> 01:12:35,763 The slate is clean, clean as a whistle. 1128 01:12:35,847 --> 01:12:37,974 - What'll you have? - Um... 1129 01:12:38,099 --> 01:12:41,852 I'd like, uh, eggs over, uh, hash browns... 1130 01:12:41,936 --> 01:12:45,314 some toast, toasted dark, butter on the side... 1131 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:48,025 uh, large grapefruit juice and some coffee. 1132 01:12:48,151 --> 01:12:50,486 On second thought, in.. in.. uh, instead of the eggs over... 1133 01:12:50,612 --> 01:12:52,572 if I order soft-boiled eggs, how do you do it? 1134 01:12:52,697 --> 01:12:55,241 Do you take 'em out of the shell, or you leave 'em in the shell? 1135 01:12:55,366 --> 01:12:58,786 - We leave 'em in the shell. - I don't like it that way. 1136 01:12:58,912 --> 01:13:02,373 It's hot in the hand, and it's.. You know, it's hard to scoop the stuff out. 1137 01:13:02,457 --> 01:13:05,710 It's not good. You get little bits of shell in there. It doesn't taste good. 1138 01:13:05,835 --> 01:13:10,381 What do you say you just, uh, order some eggs and let it go at that, all right? 1139 01:13:10,506 --> 01:13:15,302 Listen, if I'm gonna order, at least I ought to be content with my food. 1140 01:13:15,386 --> 01:13:19,681 I'm a little hungry, you know? And I got a headache, and I got egg all over me and 1141 01:13:19,807 --> 01:13:24,478 Let's say you just, uh, order some eggs and let some other people eat before the lunch trade comes in. 1142 01:13:27,815 --> 01:13:31,235 Why do I need a man tellin' me what I should or shouldn't eat, hmm? 1143 01:13:31,361 --> 01:13:35,573 Look. This isn't a four-star restaurant, you know? 1144 01:13:35,657 --> 01:13:37,992 You're not, uh, you're not gonna have a gourmet meal here. 1145 01:13:38,117 --> 01:13:41,203 You're just ordering some breakfast, you know, that's all. 1146 01:13:41,329 --> 01:13:45,166 Well, it so happens, for your information, I've never eaten in this restaurant before... 1147 01:13:45,291 --> 01:13:47,668 and I don't know how they do their eggs. 1148 01:13:47,752 --> 01:13:51,172 You see, if they're over easy and they're gooey... 1149 01:13:51,256 --> 01:13:55,134 I'm not happy with it, and if they leave the soft-boiled eggs in the shell... 1150 01:13:55,260 --> 01:13:58,054 - I'm not happy with that either, you understand? - Fine. 1151 01:13:58,137 --> 01:14:00,180 Can I have French toast and a cup of coffee? What do you want, Bagel? 1152 01:14:00,265 --> 01:14:03,559 - Coffee.. - Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Excuse me. I'm ordering here. 1153 01:14:03,685 --> 01:14:05,978 At least have the courtesy to let a man order his breakfast. 1154 01:14:06,062 --> 01:14:09,356 - French toast and a cup of coffee, please. - Sam, uh, the guy get's on my nerves. 1155 01:14:09,482 --> 01:14:13,110 - From day one, he got on my nerves. I knew it then, I know it now. - Oh, I am.. 1156 01:14:13,194 --> 01:14:16,405 - I'm back to pressing charges against this guy. - Oh, you wanna play that way, huh? 1157 01:14:16,489 --> 01:14:19,200 Is that the way you wanna play? Well, this game ain't over, mister. 1158 01:14:19,325 --> 01:14:22,036 - It ain't over. - Hey, hey, hey, you wanna put a stop to this right now, huh? 1159 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:24,455 Because I am ready right now. Right now! Let's go. 1160 01:14:24,581 --> 01:14:27,125 - You're ready? - I'm ready. - You're ready now? - Let's finish it now! 1161 01:14:27,208 --> 01:14:29,710 - Come on! Let's finish it! - Get the people with the straitjackets. 1162 01:14:29,794 --> 01:14:32,713 - This man is out of control. - Come on. Let's finish it. Come on! 1163 01:14:32,839 --> 01:14:34,590 - Yeah? - Come on! Let's finish it now. - Yeah, I'm not finished.. 1164 01:14:34,674 --> 01:14:36,676 - Let's get outta here. - I'm not finished with him, Sam. - Come on. Let's get outta here. 1165 01:14:36,759 --> 01:14:38,969 - I'm not finished with you, mister. - You're not gonna prove.. Come on. - You hear me? Huh? 1166 01:14:39,095 --> 01:14:42,389 - You hear me? - You're not gonna prove nothin' here. Let's go. - Oh, come on. 1167 01:14:42,473 --> 01:14:45,017 - Come on. Come on. - It's always the same with this guy. You can't.. 1168 01:14:45,101 --> 01:14:50,106 - Sam.. - That was French toast and a cup of coffee. That's it. 1169 01:14:51,691 --> 01:14:56,153 Oh, God. Nora. Real pain in the ass. You know that? 1170 01:14:56,279 --> 01:14:58,739 I mean it. She's a real pain in the ass. 1171 01:14:58,865 --> 01:15:02,159 And it's worse now than when she used to be around. You wanna hear somethin'? 1172 01:15:02,243 --> 01:15:05,496 The other night at the Corral Club, I turned down a dance. 1173 01:15:05,622 --> 01:15:08,291 -You turned down a dance? -What do you think the odds are on that? 1174 01:15:08,374 --> 01:15:11,835 A hundred to one, BB don't dance. A hundred to one against. 1175 01:15:17,759 --> 01:15:21,012 I'm gettin' outta the business, BB. 1176 01:15:21,095 --> 01:15:23,764 I got nothin' to show for all this. 1177 01:15:25,308 --> 01:15:29,395 - Lotta good times, Moe. - Yeah, a lotta good times. You can't eat good times. 1178 01:15:31,189 --> 01:15:35,943 My brother-in-laws offered me a job at Hess Shoes. I think I'm gonna take it. 1179 01:15:36,027 --> 01:15:39,655 Eh, you go to work in the morning, you come home at night. They got medical benefits. 1180 01:15:39,739 --> 01:15:42,533 I get to be assistant manager. 1181 01:15:43,785 --> 01:15:46,204 That's it? 1182 01:15:46,329 --> 01:15:51,709 That's the way you're gonna spend your day, huh? Measuring people's feet. 1183 01:15:51,793 --> 01:15:55,379 ''Well, sir, you have a high arch. I think you need something in an alligator... 1184 01:15:55,463 --> 01:15:58,215 with a wing tip.'' 1185 01:15:58,341 --> 01:16:01,344 Not a lot to talk about all day. 1186 01:16:05,932 --> 01:16:09,060 You were the best tin man that ever was, Moe. 1187 01:16:09,185 --> 01:16:11,604 Well, it's all over, BB. 1188 01:16:11,688 --> 01:16:13,815 It's over. 1189 01:16:13,940 --> 01:16:17,026 You know, when I saw 'Bonanza' the other day, something occurred to me. 1190 01:16:17,151 --> 01:16:20,320 - Huh? - You got these four guys living on the Ponderosa... 1191 01:16:20,405 --> 01:16:23,449 and you never hear them saying anything about wanting to get laid. 1192 01:16:23,533 --> 01:16:25,952 I mean, you, you never hear Hoss say to Little Joe... 1193 01:16:26,077 --> 01:16:28,329 ''I had such a hard-on when I woke up this morning.'' 1194 01:16:28,413 --> 01:16:30,915 - No, no, no, Sam, I've never.. never.. - I mean, they don't talk about broads, nothin'. 1195 01:16:30,999 --> 01:16:34,585 - You never see them with their dicks in their hands. - You never.. Yeah, you never hear Little Joe say, ''Hey, Hoss... 1196 01:16:34,669 --> 01:16:39,090 I went to Virginia City, and I saw a girl with the greatest ass I've ever seen in my life.'' 1197 01:16:39,173 --> 01:16:42,634 They just walk around the Ponderosa. ''Yes, Pa. Where's Little Joe?'' 1198 01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:45,721 Nothin' about broads. I don't think I'm being too picky... 1199 01:16:45,847 --> 01:16:48,391 but if at least once they talked about getting horny. 1200 01:16:48,474 --> 01:16:51,685 I don't care if you live in the Ponderosa or right here in Baltimore... 1201 01:16:51,769 --> 01:16:53,854 guys talk about getting laid. 1202 01:16:53,938 --> 01:16:58,317 I'm beginning to think that show doesn't have too much realism. What do you think? 1203 01:17:00,028 --> 01:17:03,197 Sam, I..I can't concentrate on the 'Bonanza' bullshit. 1204 01:17:03,281 --> 01:17:07,743 I got too much on my brain. What with that asshole and the home improvement commission... 1205 01:17:07,827 --> 01:17:12,706 I don't wanna have to worry about whether Little Joe got laid last night, all right? 1206 01:17:12,832 --> 01:17:15,000 - Come on. Let's go and eat somethin'. - All right. 1207 01:17:15,084 --> 01:17:17,836 - We'll go to a smorgasbord. We'll get somethin' to eat. - That's it. 1208 01:17:49,285 --> 01:17:54,373 God, if you're responsible for all this stuff down here... 1209 01:17:54,499 --> 01:17:58,753 maybe you got a moments attention for me. 1210 01:17:58,878 --> 01:18:04,592 Between the IRS and this home improvement commission and Mr Merengue, uh... 1211 01:18:04,676 --> 01:18:08,346 I..I'm just up to here with all this bullshit. 1212 01:18:08,429 --> 01:18:12,015 To be frank with you, I'm in the toilet. 1213 01:18:12,100 --> 01:18:15,103 Listen, uh, I'm prayin' here. Will you go around? 1214 01:18:15,186 --> 01:18:17,938 I want to get some of the salad. 1215 01:18:18,064 --> 01:18:20,733 It's out of order. Go around. 1216 01:18:22,193 --> 01:18:25,237 Well, just do what you can, all right? 1217 01:18:25,363 --> 01:18:28,949 I'd appreciate it. Amen. 1218 01:18:30,785 --> 01:18:34,872 Didn't you approach Mr Bolochevski on August 18, 1961 ... 1219 01:18:34,956 --> 01:18:37,583 while he was cutting his front lawn, and tell him that his house had been selected... 1220 01:18:37,667 --> 01:18:39,794 one of only sixteen homes in the state of Maryland... 1221 01:18:39,919 --> 01:18:42,922 for a free aluminum siding job? 1222 01:18:43,047 --> 01:18:45,632 - What was that name again? - Bolochevski. 1223 01:18:45,758 --> 01:18:49,261 Uh, it doesn't ring a bell. Does it ring a bell with you, Sam? 1224 01:18:49,387 --> 01:18:51,555 - It doesn't ring a bell with me either, sir. - Didn't you sugg.. 1225 01:18:51,639 --> 01:18:53,766 Didn't you suggest that for a nominal labour charge... 1226 01:18:53,850 --> 01:18:58,521 he would receive over $5,000 worth of aluminum siding? 1227 01:18:58,646 --> 01:19:01,440 That's an awful lot for nothin'. Doesn't sound like good business to me. 1228 01:19:01,524 --> 01:19:06,237 Mr Bolochevski was ultimately charged $2,400 for labour... 1229 01:19:06,321 --> 01:19:10,616 which, according to our figures, is about the average cost of an aluminum siding job. 1230 01:19:10,742 --> 01:19:13,828 - I don't get the point of this. - What we're getting at here.. 1231 01:19:13,912 --> 01:19:17,165 the point we'd like to stress.. is that the job was sold under false terms. 1232 01:19:17,248 --> 01:19:21,460 The man didn't win any award. He wasn't getting any aluminum siding at that special price. 1233 01:19:21,586 --> 01:19:24,547 A clear case of deception is involved here. 1234 01:19:24,631 --> 01:19:29,218 - So what's he talkin' about? - I don't know what he's talkin' about. - The man got the job for $2,400? 1235 01:19:29,302 --> 01:19:32,013 - Which is what it costs in aluminum siding. - He got his moneys worth. 1236 01:19:32,096 --> 01:19:34,973 Yeah. Um.. I don't know. 1237 01:19:35,058 --> 01:19:38,644 I mean, uh, I.. we have no recollection of this particular job. 1238 01:19:38,770 --> 01:19:41,856 Uh, but I don't know if this is deception. 1239 01:19:41,981 --> 01:19:44,858 I mean, look, if you work in a clothing store... 1240 01:19:44,943 --> 01:19:47,445 a guy tries on a suit and look's like shit... 1241 01:19:47,528 --> 01:19:50,072 and you tell him, ''Wow, it's wonderful''... 1242 01:19:50,156 --> 01:19:53,033 I mean, there's a guy standin' there lookin' like a sack o shit... 1243 01:19:53,117 --> 01:19:55,452 and the salesman says, ''Oh, what a beautiful suit.'' 1244 01:19:55,578 --> 01:19:58,581 W.. Now that's deception, as far as I can see. 1245 01:19:58,706 --> 01:20:01,625 If, if the man buys the suit, I mean, you've deceived the man. 1246 01:20:01,751 --> 01:20:05,379 - I mean, do I make myself clear? - I'll go along with that as well. 1247 01:20:05,505 --> 01:20:10,176 Yeah, I..I can't really see the, the deception that you're sayin' that we're responsible for. 1248 01:20:10,260 --> 01:20:12,595 Excuse us one minute. 1249 01:20:18,059 --> 01:20:20,936 Thank you very much, gentlemen. Should there be a reason... 1250 01:20:21,062 --> 01:20:24,190 to call you back in the future, we'd like to reserve that right. 1251 01:20:24,315 --> 01:20:27,276 Well, I'm glad we could be of service. 1252 01:20:27,402 --> 01:20:29,821 Thank you. 1253 01:20:31,489 --> 01:20:33,866 We beat 'em, Sam. We beat them. Piece o cake. 1254 01:20:33,950 --> 01:20:36,327 They got nothin' on us. Clean as a whistle. 1255 01:20:36,411 --> 01:20:40,289 - I need a drink. I hate inquisitions. - I like the story about the suit. 1256 01:20:40,415 --> 01:20:44,877 Mr Libidov? Hi. I represent the Gibraltar Aluminum Siding Company... 1257 01:20:45,003 --> 01:20:48,047 - and we're going to have a representative in your neighbourhood today. - Would you be interested in.. 1258 01:20:48,172 --> 01:20:52,217 Would you be interested to.. Would you be interested in seeing... 1259 01:20:52,343 --> 01:20:54,386 the benefits of our aluminum product? 1260 01:20:54,512 --> 01:20:57,515 - I know it sound's incredible, sir. - Well, we do aluminum siding-- 1261 01:21:01,269 --> 01:21:03,854 Nora Tilley, please. 1262 01:21:03,938 --> 01:21:07,066 Uh, eh, social security. 1263 01:21:07,150 --> 01:21:10,403 I don't know. She's, eh.. She's up there somewhere on the third floor. 1264 01:21:10,528 --> 01:21:13,739 She's got a.. What do you call it? A desk up there. 1265 01:21:17,410 --> 01:21:20,079 Stanley? Can I help you look for somethin' in there? 1266 01:21:20,163 --> 01:21:22,707 Uh, no. I'm just makin' myself busy. 1267 01:21:22,790 --> 01:21:26,210 Well, I wouldn't do that. Bagel don't like nobody lookin' in the flles. 1268 01:21:29,881 --> 01:21:33,092 - Mrs Tilley. - Nora, this is BB. 1269 01:21:34,886 --> 01:21:37,096 Uh-huh. 1270 01:21:42,602 --> 01:21:44,395 - May I talk to you? - I don't wanna see you any more. 1271 01:21:44,520 --> 01:21:46,605 -Just give me a chance to explain. - I don't wanna listen! 1272 01:21:46,689 --> 01:21:48,941 - You owe me that much. - I don't owe you anything. 1273 01:21:49,025 --> 01:21:51,360 It was a lousy thing to do, okay! 1274 01:21:51,444 --> 01:21:54,613 It was a lousy thing to use you to get back at your husband... 1275 01:21:54,697 --> 01:21:58,158 but the fact is, I never would've met you otherwise. 1276 01:22:02,163 --> 01:22:07,501 It was a lousy thing. It was a disgusting, terrible thing. 1277 01:22:07,544 --> 01:22:10,964 But a lot of good came out of it. 1278 01:22:11,089 --> 01:22:13,257 Will you just tell me somethin'? I.. 1279 01:22:13,341 --> 01:22:17,511 Just tell me what kind of person comes up with such a devious thing. 1280 01:22:17,595 --> 01:22:21,348 I'm not such a nice guy all the time. Okay? I admit that. 1281 01:22:21,474 --> 01:22:25,060 I have a lot of training in deceit, you know? It's an occupational hazard. 1282 01:22:26,813 --> 01:22:30,233 I wanna know what it is about me that I have to fall for tin men. 1283 01:22:30,358 --> 01:22:33,444 I mean, what kind of character flaw do I have? 1284 01:22:35,697 --> 01:22:39,033 I didn't wanna come here. You know? 1285 01:22:39,158 --> 01:22:41,952 I didn't wanna have to ever see you again. 1286 01:22:42,036 --> 01:22:45,122 I got this far in my life without ever having this kind of stuff happen to me, you know? 1287 01:22:45,206 --> 01:22:49,168 I was doin' okay in my life. I was sailin' along pretty good, you know? 1288 01:22:49,252 --> 01:22:54,507 And then all of a sudden, I decided to, to get even with some crazy guy... 1289 01:22:54,591 --> 01:22:58,595 and I'm, I'm, uh.. I'm here. 1290 01:23:01,639 --> 01:23:04,808 The wet becomes you. 1291 01:23:04,893 --> 01:23:08,146 It get's rid of some of the slickness. 1292 01:23:13,067 --> 01:23:16,695 I hate the fact that I'm not in control of this stuff. 1293 01:23:20,450 --> 01:23:24,370 But if I gotta have this stuff in my life, well... 1294 01:23:24,454 --> 01:23:27,373 I guess I have no choice. 1295 01:23:28,750 --> 01:23:31,919 I wanna.. 1296 01:23:32,003 --> 01:23:34,088 You know? 1297 01:23:35,924 --> 01:23:38,468 I wanna be with you. Okay? 1298 01:23:38,593 --> 01:23:42,471 Okay, I said it. I've said it, and I'm glad. 1299 01:23:44,015 --> 01:23:46,851 I wanna be with you... 1300 01:23:46,976 --> 01:23:50,938 because I miss you and I love you... 1301 01:23:51,022 --> 01:23:54,025 and I wanna marry you. 1302 01:23:54,108 --> 01:23:57,069 And that's that. 1303 01:23:59,239 --> 01:24:02,784 I was hopin' for somethin' a little more romantic. 1304 01:24:07,205 --> 01:24:09,373 But okay. 1305 01:24:17,465 --> 01:24:19,425 Social security 1306 01:24:19,509 --> 01:24:21,636 That goes on together 1307 01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:31,771 I don't understand this. The broad smashes his car, he takes her dancing. 1308 01:24:31,896 --> 01:24:35,107 Must be a dating ritual I'm not familiar with. 1309 01:24:35,191 --> 01:24:38,110 Are ya gonna come home with me tonight? 1310 01:24:38,194 --> 01:24:42,281 Well, I don't know. All my stuff's over at Nellie's on the other side of town. 1311 01:24:42,365 --> 01:24:45,284 And? 1312 01:24:45,410 --> 01:24:48,830 I'll tell you what: I..I'll go back to the house. There's a few things I left behind. 1313 01:24:48,913 --> 01:24:53,334 Yeah. Yeah, I'll spend the night. 1314 01:24:53,418 --> 01:24:56,379 - BB's a pretty good tin man, though, huh? - Pretty good? 1315 01:24:56,462 --> 01:24:59,173 Jeez, the man's what legend's are made of. 1316 01:24:59,257 --> 01:25:02,885 He started sellin' pot's and pans door to door when he was 16. 1317 01:25:02,969 --> 01:25:06,097 There's nothin' he can't sell. 1318 01:25:06,222 --> 01:25:09,266 I'm glad this is workin' out. 1319 01:25:09,392 --> 01:25:12,395 - You're really happy, huh? - Yeah. 1320 01:25:12,520 --> 01:25:15,022 You don't show a great deal of exuberance, you know. 1321 01:25:15,148 --> 01:25:18,609 Well, honey, for me, I'm a parade. 1322 01:25:18,735 --> 01:25:22,071 You give me 1323 01:25:25,533 --> 01:25:27,493 You show me 1324 01:25:33,583 --> 01:25:38,170 ''United States Government seizure.'' 1325 01:25:57,023 --> 01:26:01,819 - What happened? - IRS. They need my furniture. 1326 01:26:01,903 --> 01:26:04,906 They got a livin' room somewhere in the country that need's to be furnished. 1327 01:26:04,989 --> 01:26:08,617 - They're takin' the furniture? - Furniture, the whole house. 1328 01:26:08,743 --> 01:26:12,455 Locked it up. Confiscated it. 1329 01:26:12,539 --> 01:26:15,542 Well, what do you expect, you know? You expect some preferential treatment? 1330 01:26:15,667 --> 01:26:17,919 You're some special case? 1331 01:26:18,002 --> 01:26:22,381 You gotta pay your taxes just like everyone else has to pay their taxes. 1332 01:26:22,465 --> 01:26:26,844 Oh, no, that seems to be a responsibility you just can't get a handle on. 1333 01:26:28,054 --> 01:26:31,015 Oh, I was doin' pretty good there for a while. 1334 01:26:31,099 --> 01:26:34,393 I had my house, had a wife... 1335 01:26:34,477 --> 01:26:36,770 a Cadillac. 1336 01:26:36,896 --> 01:26:39,356 I still got the Cadillac. 1337 01:26:42,777 --> 01:26:45,446 - So where ya gonna sleep? - I'll stay at Sam's... 1338 01:26:45,530 --> 01:26:49,158 for a couple nights until I get set up. 1339 01:26:49,242 --> 01:26:51,410 What are you doin' here anyway? 1340 01:26:51,536 --> 01:26:54,622 Well, I thought there might just be a couple things you didn't throw out of the house... 1341 01:26:54,747 --> 01:26:57,624 a couple things, you know, I didn't find on the lawn. 1342 01:26:57,750 --> 01:27:01,503 I don't know. I did a pretty good house cleanin' number on ya. 1343 01:27:03,840 --> 01:27:08,386 Listen. About the divorce, do you wanna flle or should I file? 1344 01:27:08,469 --> 01:27:13,265 Nora, I gotta level with ya. This guy is nuts. 1345 01:27:13,391 --> 01:27:16,185 He told me all about it.. all about how you threw eggs at him, and all.. 1346 01:27:16,269 --> 01:27:18,688 - He told you it was about eggs? - No, not it was about eggs. He said.. 1347 01:27:18,771 --> 01:27:20,981 - The guy tried to break into my house and steal things from me. - No. 1348 01:27:21,065 --> 01:27:23,484 He was lookin' for me. He.. We had an argument. 1349 01:27:23,568 --> 01:27:26,696 If you marry this guy, it'd be the biggest mistake you ever made in your life. 1350 01:27:26,779 --> 01:27:28,906 Oh, no. No, no, no. It's not for you to make decisions for me. 1351 01:27:29,032 --> 01:27:31,617 - I.. I think I should. I think you're bein' misled. - Ah. 1352 01:27:31,743 --> 01:27:34,620 - I think.. I think you're confused about this whole.. - I know what I'm doin'. 1353 01:27:34,704 --> 01:27:38,249 - Nora, Nora, I know about guys. - Yeah, well, I appreciate your concern... 1354 01:27:38,333 --> 01:27:43,296 - but it's not for you to make decisions for me any more. - But this guy is about as bad a choice as you can make. 1355 01:27:43,379 --> 01:27:45,798 - Bad choice. - You're a good one to give advice. Look at you. 1356 01:27:45,882 --> 01:27:48,301 You're sittin' on your porch locked outta your house. You can't even pay your taxes... 1357 01:27:48,426 --> 01:27:51,345 and you want to give me advice on life? 1358 01:27:51,471 --> 01:27:53,431 I'm not givin' you a divorce, and that's it. 1359 01:27:53,556 --> 01:27:56,141 I mean, I'm lookin' out for your welfare. No divorce. 1360 01:27:56,267 --> 01:28:00,854 Look. It's for your own benefit, and you'll thank me for it. 1361 01:28:04,150 --> 01:28:07,695 My benefit? 1362 01:28:07,779 --> 01:28:12,617 You don't give a damn about me. You don't give a damn about who I marry. 1363 01:28:12,700 --> 01:28:15,786 The reason you don't want me to marry him is because he's the man takin' your wife... 1364 01:28:15,870 --> 01:28:17,872 and you got.. you got this thing with him. 1365 01:28:17,956 --> 01:28:20,291 It has nothin' to do with me. That's all. That's all. 1366 01:28:20,375 --> 01:28:24,796 You don't care about me. It's the same bullshit you're doin'. 1367 01:28:24,921 --> 01:28:27,673 That's the way it always is with you, Tilley. It's.. It's always you. It's you. 1368 01:28:27,757 --> 01:28:31,552 Look.. The IRS, they're takin' your house. They're takin' your furniture. 1369 01:28:31,678 --> 01:28:34,347 You don't say anything about my things in the house, you know? 1370 01:28:34,389 --> 01:28:36,599 I got things in that house I worked damn hard for... 1371 01:28:36,683 --> 01:28:39,018 things that were given to me by my family. 1372 01:28:39,102 --> 01:28:41,479 The headboard was.. was given to me by Aunt Josephine. 1373 01:28:41,604 --> 01:28:44,940 That's gotta be at least a hundred.. you know.. fifty years old or.. 1374 01:28:45,024 --> 01:28:48,193 You know, it's old. And, and the hand-embroidered footstool and, and.. 1375 01:28:48,319 --> 01:28:51,363 What.. What footstool? 1376 01:28:51,489 --> 01:28:55,284 The hand-embroidered footstool over by the TV. You.. 1377 01:28:56,619 --> 01:28:59,288 I don't remember seein' that. 1378 01:28:59,372 --> 01:29:02,666 It's Granny's. It's.. It's been there forever. It belonged to my granny. 1379 01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:06,211 It's been there forever? I've never seen it. 1380 01:29:06,296 --> 01:29:09,132 That's the way it is with you, Tilley. You just.. It.. It doesn't mean anything to you. 1381 01:29:09,257 --> 01:29:12,260 You, you don't care if they take it all away. 1382 01:29:14,137 --> 01:29:16,347 It's all you, Tilley. 1383 01:29:18,016 --> 01:29:20,810 It's all it's ever been. 1384 01:29:34,949 --> 01:29:38,077 Hand-embroidered footstool? 1385 01:29:44,375 --> 01:29:47,419 - Here. - Thank's for the lift back, BB. 1386 01:29:47,503 --> 01:29:49,796 Okay, Stanley. 1387 01:29:49,923 --> 01:29:52,091 See ya around. 1388 01:30:24,415 --> 01:30:28,168 You know somethin', Stanley? I could always smell a man that's not made of tin. 1389 01:30:28,253 --> 01:30:32,048 Stealing files is against the law. 1390 01:30:32,173 --> 01:30:34,842 I could call the cops right now. You'd be in jail. 1391 01:30:34,926 --> 01:30:38,179 No, uh, I'll, I'll put it back, and nobody's the wiser. 1392 01:30:38,304 --> 01:30:41,682 You're from the commission, aren't you? 1393 01:30:41,766 --> 01:30:45,644 The commission doesn't have enough information, huh? They gotta hire guys like you to snoop around? 1394 01:30:47,272 --> 01:30:50,066 We're just starting out. I..If I can get... 1395 01:30:50,149 --> 01:30:54,027 some good, hard facts of some infractions, then we'll have credibility in the community. 1396 01:30:54,112 --> 01:30:58,825 You know what your big problem is, Stanley? You're lazy. 1397 01:30:58,908 --> 01:31:01,118 You wanna find out some stuff? 1398 01:31:01,244 --> 01:31:04,455 Did it ever occur to you to pick up a phone and develop a lead, huh? Canvass? 1399 01:31:04,539 --> 01:31:07,458 That's what we do all the time. That doesn't occur to you, does it, Stanley? 1400 01:31:07,584 --> 01:31:10,295 Because you're lazy. 1401 01:31:10,378 --> 01:31:14,882 You think we did something wrong, why don't you collect your evidence in a legal manner? 1402 01:31:16,384 --> 01:31:20,471 But you don't like that, do you? You wanna snoop around. You wanna steal some files. 1403 01:31:20,597 --> 01:31:23,600 Huh? What is this? Eliot Ness or something? 1404 01:31:25,226 --> 01:31:28,312 What's goin' on here? Huh? 1405 01:31:28,438 --> 01:31:32,692 You think this is some big-time drug ring, Stanley? 1406 01:31:32,775 --> 01:31:36,111 What do you think, you're infiltrating the Mafia? 1407 01:31:36,237 --> 01:31:41,283 We're just a bunch of guys tryin' to sell some aluminum 'siding, for cryin' out loud. 1408 01:31:41,409 --> 01:31:44,453 You want some files, I'll give you some files. 1409 01:31:47,123 --> 01:31:50,126 Here's some of the job's that I've done. Leave Moe out of it. 1410 01:31:50,251 --> 01:31:52,753 He's quit the business. 1411 01:31:52,879 --> 01:31:55,798 Why are you doing this? 1412 01:32:03,973 --> 01:32:07,351 Maybe if I talked to him another day, he'll change his mind. 1413 01:32:07,477 --> 01:32:09,604 You know, he's like that. I mean, one day he's one way... 1414 01:32:09,687 --> 01:32:12,856 - and another day he's another way. - Nah, there's no need to talk to him. 1415 01:32:12,941 --> 01:32:17,111 He's probably upset, you know, about the IRS taking the house and all his stuff. 1416 01:32:17,237 --> 01:32:20,240 - You ever see a Volkswagen? - Huh? 1417 01:32:20,365 --> 01:32:22,533 - You know, one of those little cars. - No. 1418 01:32:22,659 --> 01:32:24,702 What does that have to do with anything? 1419 01:32:24,786 --> 01:32:28,706 Nothin'. I just think they're interesting. 1420 01:32:44,097 --> 01:32:48,351 Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' 1421 01:32:48,476 --> 01:32:53,814 - Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms - Hey, Tilley, Mr Merengue is here. 1422 01:32:53,940 --> 01:32:58,194 That won't get you into his arms 1423 01:32:58,278 --> 01:33:01,948 So if you're looking for love 1424 01:33:02,073 --> 01:33:08,079 You can share all you gotta do is.. 1425 01:33:08,162 --> 01:33:12,249 Can I talk to you in private? Or do we have to talk over 14 pool tables? 1426 01:33:12,333 --> 01:33:16,211 And show him that you care 1427 01:33:16,337 --> 01:33:20,799 Show him that you care just for him 1428 01:33:20,925 --> 01:33:25,220 Do the things he likes to do 1429 01:33:25,305 --> 01:33:29,309 Wear your hair just for him 1430 01:33:29,434 --> 01:33:32,603 'Cause you won't get him 1431 01:33:32,687 --> 01:33:37,525 - Thinkin' and a-prayin'.. - Okay, uh, we got enough goin' down between the two of us, I know... 1432 01:33:37,650 --> 01:33:41,487 but, uh, the fact of the matter is, I love your wife, and I wanna marry her. 1433 01:33:43,740 --> 01:33:48,286 Well, I don't care who she marries, but I don't want her marrying you. 1434 01:33:48,411 --> 01:33:51,747 You think we can discuss this in a nice, rational manner? 1435 01:33:51,831 --> 01:33:55,209 Rational? You're gonna be rational? 1436 01:33:55,335 --> 01:33:58,171 Look, I know we have a problem... 1437 01:33:58,254 --> 01:34:03,175 but I'd like to try to isolate this one particular situation. 1438 01:34:03,301 --> 01:34:05,803 Isolate, huh? Isolate. Huh. 1439 01:34:05,929 --> 01:34:09,349 Well, I like this kind of talk. 1440 01:34:09,474 --> 01:34:12,477 - What the hell nonsense is that? - Well... 1441 01:34:12,602 --> 01:34:16,397 what are you tryin' to gain from this thing here, huh? 1442 01:34:16,481 --> 01:34:20,485 Well, wait a second. I gotta isolate that for a moment and think it over. 1443 01:34:20,568 --> 01:34:24,154 You know, nobody benefits from makin' me mad. 1444 01:34:24,239 --> 01:34:27,283 You oughta hear yourself, pal. Huh? You know that? 1445 01:34:27,367 --> 01:34:30,495 You oughta listen to the way you talk. You come in here. You wanna take my wife. 1446 01:34:30,578 --> 01:34:33,831 You want to isolate this situation. You want to be rational. 1447 01:34:33,957 --> 01:34:38,294 I got no tolerance for you, mister. You know what I'm sayin'? 1448 01:34:38,378 --> 01:34:44,175 So I gather what you're saying is that, uh, there's no use, uh, discussing this. Is that it? 1449 01:34:44,300 --> 01:34:46,552 That won't get you into his arms 1450 01:34:46,636 --> 01:34:49,764 You like pool? 1451 01:34:49,847 --> 01:34:52,599 I enjoy the game. 1452 01:34:54,352 --> 01:34:57,813 Why don't we play a little game of eight ball? 1453 01:34:57,939 --> 01:35:02,485 If I lose, I consent to the divorce. 1454 01:35:02,610 --> 01:35:06,363 If you lose, you give up Nora... 1455 01:35:06,447 --> 01:35:08,574 walk away from her. 1456 01:35:10,076 --> 01:35:15,372 - You will be his - Rack 'em. 1457 01:35:28,511 --> 01:35:30,471 - Hey, Wing. - Tilley. 1458 01:35:30,597 --> 01:35:33,266 - Wasn't that the goof from the commission? - Masters, yeah. 1459 01:35:33,391 --> 01:35:36,394 - What the hell's he doin' hangin' around here? - He want's some information. 1460 01:35:36,519 --> 01:35:38,812 - I nailed his ass good. Whoo! - Yeah? 1461 01:35:38,938 --> 01:35:41,732 He can't lay a finger on me. Aw, you should've seen me. 1462 01:35:41,858 --> 01:35:45,945 I was respectful, courteous, but I was slippin' and slidin'. 1463 01:35:46,029 --> 01:35:49,115 - They couldn't touch me. - Listen, Tilley, I got a real problem. 1464 01:35:49,198 --> 01:35:52,367 - Why don't I buy you a drink? - All right. 1465 01:35:52,493 --> 01:35:55,162 Hope it's not a big problem. 1466 01:35:56,539 --> 01:36:00,459 You're gonna sell me out to the commission? Wing, am I hearin' this right? 1467 01:36:00,585 --> 01:36:03,170 I'm up front with you on this. I'm up front with you on this, Tilley. 1468 01:36:03,254 --> 01:36:05,256 I got my balls in a vice. What am I gonna do? 1469 01:36:05,340 --> 01:36:08,176 Is this because of the money I owe you? I mean, are you just pissed? 1470 01:36:08,301 --> 01:36:11,679 Tilley, this has got nothing to do with the money. 1471 01:36:11,804 --> 01:36:15,474 You're gonna sell me out? You're gonna let 'em bury me? 1472 01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:19,437 Jesus Christ, Wing. Jesus Christ. 1473 01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:23,857 I'm not gonna be able to work in this business? Wing, this was my chosen field. 1474 01:36:23,983 --> 01:36:27,444 Masters was gonna tear this company apart. 1475 01:36:27,570 --> 01:36:30,990 Now, you're the low man on the totem pole. There's a lot of guys makin' a good living. 1476 01:36:31,115 --> 01:36:33,826 There's no sense for the whole thing to go up in smoke. You understand, Tilley? 1477 01:36:33,952 --> 01:36:37,580 - It's just business. -Jesus Christ. 1478 01:36:37,664 --> 01:36:42,794 You're in for over two grand on the books. I'll tell you what: I'll wipe the slate. 1479 01:36:42,877 --> 01:36:46,130 And here. 1480 01:36:46,256 --> 01:36:50,134 I'll give you a thou till you get set up. 1481 01:36:50,218 --> 01:36:55,056 - I can't do any better than that. - You sell me out for a lousy $3,000? 1482 01:36:55,181 --> 01:36:58,642 $3,000 and I gotta go down the toilet? 1483 01:36:58,768 --> 01:37:03,731 Jesus, Wing. I mean, how long the two of us been bustin' our asses together, huh? 1484 01:37:03,815 --> 01:37:06,192 We got a history in this relationship, for Christ's sake. 1485 01:37:06,317 --> 01:37:10,112 Masters comes along, puts a little squeeze on you and you sell me out. 1486 01:37:10,238 --> 01:37:14,784 - $3,000. - The bottom line, Tilley, is this is just business. 1487 01:37:17,412 --> 01:37:19,831 Here. 1488 01:37:19,914 --> 01:37:22,625 It's another deuce. 1489 01:37:22,750 --> 01:37:26,044 I carried you for a long time, Tilley. 1490 01:37:26,129 --> 01:37:28,673 I've done a damn sight more than a lot of other guys would've done for you... 1491 01:37:28,756 --> 01:37:31,800 and I don't see any gratitude from you. 1492 01:37:40,143 --> 01:37:43,020 You can finish up when you like. 1493 01:37:45,690 --> 01:37:49,110 I'm sorry, Tilley. It's the way of the world. 1494 01:38:16,721 --> 01:38:19,390 As hard as it is 1495 01:38:24,103 --> 01:38:26,313 As hard as it is 1496 01:38:31,569 --> 01:38:33,737 As hard as it is 1497 01:38:36,032 --> 01:38:38,784 Lord knows 1498 01:38:38,910 --> 01:38:41,787 As hard as it is 1499 01:38:51,339 --> 01:38:55,343 Bill, better hurry up. Everything's ready. 1500 01:38:55,426 --> 01:38:57,845 I can't believe you're up so early. This is a rare occasion. 1501 01:38:57,929 --> 01:39:00,765 Yeah. I got some business I have to attend to downtown. 1502 01:39:00,890 --> 01:39:04,560 The toast'll be ready in a second if this thing is workin'. I don't know. 1503 01:39:06,688 --> 01:39:10,441 Nora. I lied to you the other day. 1504 01:39:10,525 --> 01:39:15,738 -How so? -I went to see Tilley about the divorce. 1505 01:39:15,863 --> 01:39:19,032 He wasn't very reasonable, and, uh, you know, one thing led to another... 1506 01:39:19,158 --> 01:39:23,787 so we decided flnally to shoot some pool to decide the matter. 1507 01:39:23,913 --> 01:39:26,874 - What? - We decided to shoot some pool. 1508 01:39:27,000 --> 01:39:32,005 You know? If I won, he would give you up, and if I lost, I would give you up. 1509 01:39:32,130 --> 01:39:35,967 - You shot pool for me? - I had no choice. 1510 01:39:36,050 --> 01:39:39,011 That's the most despicable thing I've ever heard in my whole life. 1511 01:39:39,095 --> 01:39:42,431 I mean, that's disgusting, shootin' pool to determine my future! 1512 01:39:42,557 --> 01:39:44,517 Nora, I had no choice. 1513 01:39:45,852 --> 01:39:49,522 - The toast is ready. - Get it yourself! 1514 01:39:49,606 --> 01:39:52,692 Hey, I'm only tryin' to be honest, you know? I'm tryin' to tell you... 1515 01:39:52,775 --> 01:39:57,070 what's on my mind and what's on my, uh, conscience, you know. 1516 01:39:57,196 --> 01:39:59,990 - Which one of these things is yours? - Oh, well, why don't you eat both of 'em? 1517 01:40:00,074 --> 01:40:03,118 Maybe you can choke to death on one of 'em. 1518 01:40:03,203 --> 01:40:07,332 How can you be so.. How can you not understand how wrong that, uh.. 1519 01:40:07,457 --> 01:40:10,835 I don't understand this mentality. I mean, shootin' pool for me! It's insane! It's nuts! 1520 01:40:10,919 --> 01:40:14,130 Look, Tilley is not the most rational guy in the world. You know what I mean? 1521 01:40:14,255 --> 01:40:16,548 I tried talking to him, and he wouldn't listen to me. 1522 01:40:16,633 --> 01:40:20,720 So what are my options? I'm asking you. Huh? What are my options? 1523 01:40:20,803 --> 01:40:23,180 I can't believe you had to shoot pool for me. 1524 01:40:23,306 --> 01:40:26,267 I mean, I, uh.. Do you understand how crazy that is? 1525 01:40:26,392 --> 01:40:28,852 Look at you. You're eatin' eggs. You're, you're, you're eatin' eggs... 1526 01:40:28,978 --> 01:40:32,106 like you're.. casually.. like it's normal business in life here, you know? 1527 01:40:32,232 --> 01:40:36,778 - Like some feudal lord or somethin' you read about in history. - All right. All right. I'm sorry. 1528 01:40:40,698 --> 01:40:43,450 What happened? 1529 01:40:43,576 --> 01:40:46,161 - I lost. - You lost? - I blew the eight ball. 1530 01:40:46,287 --> 01:40:48,455 - You lost? - Yeah. - What does that mean, you lost? 1531 01:40:48,540 --> 01:40:51,334 It means I'm supposed to give you up. It means I'm supposed to never see you again. 1532 01:40:51,459 --> 01:40:53,294 Will you stop eating your eggs for a minute? 1533 01:40:53,419 --> 01:40:57,005 How can you tell me things like this and casually eat your eggs? 1534 01:40:57,131 --> 01:40:59,800 What does this mean, Bill? 1535 01:41:01,052 --> 01:41:04,180 It means I'm supposed to never see you again... 1536 01:41:04,305 --> 01:41:07,641 to honour my part of that agreement. 1537 01:41:12,939 --> 01:41:16,108 But I'm not that honourable a guy. 1538 01:41:22,156 --> 01:41:25,284 I gotta go. 1539 01:41:25,410 --> 01:41:27,787 Whoa, wait a minute. Where are you goin' so fast here? 1540 01:41:27,912 --> 01:41:30,915 I told ya. I got some business downtown. 1541 01:41:38,172 --> 01:41:40,174 Wanna have some dinner tonight? 1542 01:41:40,300 --> 01:41:43,303 - Over what we planned? - Yeah. 1543 01:42:22,050 --> 01:42:24,302 You gotta testify, huh? 1544 01:42:25,511 --> 01:42:27,846 You? 1545 01:42:27,972 --> 01:42:31,600 - Yeah. - Got a lawyer? 1546 01:42:31,684 --> 01:42:35,354 Nah. I already testified once. 1547 01:42:35,438 --> 01:42:38,482 Beat 'em before. I'll beat 'em again. 1548 01:42:40,777 --> 01:42:43,279 You got a high-priced mouthpiece to speak for you? 1549 01:42:43,404 --> 01:42:47,282 No, I don't need one. I don't expect to win. 1550 01:42:47,367 --> 01:42:49,660 How so? 1551 01:42:49,786 --> 01:42:53,331 I gave 'em some pretty incriminating evidence. 1552 01:42:53,456 --> 01:42:57,376 You gave them evidence? 1553 01:42:57,502 --> 01:43:00,421 Yeah, it was the only way I could think of to get out of this business. 1554 01:43:04,926 --> 01:43:08,346 That's a good one. Yeah. 1555 01:43:15,311 --> 01:43:18,105 So how's Nora? 1556 01:43:18,189 --> 01:43:21,275 She's doin' okay. 1557 01:43:21,401 --> 01:43:24,112 Ernest Tilley? Please come forward. 1558 01:43:31,035 --> 01:43:33,370 Take good care of her. 1559 01:43:38,084 --> 01:43:41,837 Was it the heat of the sales pitch on September.. August 17 of this year... 1560 01:43:41,963 --> 01:43:44,465 that made you write across a contract, ''This job is free''? 1561 01:43:44,591 --> 01:43:48,428 As I remember, uh, no sale was made, uh, concerning those customers. 1562 01:43:48,553 --> 01:43:51,889 The deal fell out because a loan couldn't be arranged, but the people did agree in principle. 1563 01:43:51,973 --> 01:43:54,767 The.. The point we'd like to stress is that you misled these people. 1564 01:43:54,893 --> 01:43:57,979 You told them the job was free. Then you send in your closer with some cover story... 1565 01:43:58,104 --> 01:44:00,356 about how you'd suffered a nervous breakdown. 1566 01:44:00,481 --> 01:44:04,568 The sale is ultimately made for $2,377. 1567 01:44:04,694 --> 01:44:08,239 Uh, I don't know. It just came over me. It might've been somethin' I ate. 1568 01:44:08,364 --> 01:44:11,658 Well, we have other specific examples of deceptive sales practices on your behalf... 1569 01:44:11,743 --> 01:44:15,037 concerning a job carried out by you on December 11 , 1962. 1570 01:44:15,163 --> 01:44:17,665 You violated sections 241 , 247. 1571 01:44:17,790 --> 01:44:23,504 October 9, 1962, violations of 251 , 257 took place. 1572 01:44:23,630 --> 01:44:28,176 What are all these numbers? I mean, I'm not aware of all these section violations. 1573 01:44:28,301 --> 01:44:30,678 It is the feeling of this commission that these violations are severe infractions... 1574 01:44:30,803 --> 01:44:33,347 of the home improvement laws and therefore constitute a misuse... 1575 01:44:33,473 --> 01:44:37,685 of the licence to sell aluminum siding as approved by the state. 1576 01:44:37,769 --> 01:44:41,230 It's the decision of this commission to revoke your licence to sell aluminum siding... 1577 01:44:41,356 --> 01:44:44,984 to prohibit you from practising in the state of Maryland. 1578 01:44:45,068 --> 01:44:47,695 Are you sure? I mean, maybe you guys wanna talk this over a bit? 1579 01:44:47,779 --> 01:44:50,782 Thank you, Mr Tilley. That'll be all. You may hand in your, uh, licence... 1580 01:44:50,865 --> 01:44:52,867 to the clerk of the commission on your way out. 1581 01:44:52,951 --> 01:44:55,036 Who's next? 1582 01:44:57,830 --> 01:45:00,082 Shit. 1583 01:45:23,189 --> 01:45:25,900 William Babowsky, please come forward. 1584 01:45:26,025 --> 01:45:28,527 Mr William Babowsky, please come forward. 1585 01:45:37,704 --> 01:45:41,332 You have a right to have a lawyer present if you so wish. 1586 01:45:41,416 --> 01:45:43,876 I do not wish. 1587 01:45:50,133 --> 01:45:52,093 - Hey, mister? - Yeah? 1588 01:45:52,218 --> 01:45:55,095 - Have a car parked right there? - Yeah. What about it? 1589 01:45:55,221 --> 01:45:57,932 - A man came and took it. - Who took it? 1590 01:45:58,057 --> 01:46:00,476 Tax man. 1591 01:46:00,602 --> 01:46:04,731 - Tax man. How do you know it was a tax man? - He gave me a dollar to tell you so. 1592 01:46:06,399 --> 01:46:09,402 Fuckin' IRS. How low can you get? 1593 01:46:09,527 --> 01:46:12,321 How.. How fuckin' low can you get? 1594 01:46:12,447 --> 01:46:14,615 I mean, what kind of people take a man's car? 1595 01:46:29,964 --> 01:46:33,592 Sorry about your licence. 1596 01:46:33,676 --> 01:46:35,928 Yeah. You? 1597 01:46:38,181 --> 01:46:40,391 Sorry to hear it. 1598 01:46:42,477 --> 01:46:45,146 What are you doin' standin' there? 1599 01:46:45,271 --> 01:46:49,024 - It's where my car used to be. - Stolen? 1600 01:46:50,443 --> 01:46:53,487 IRS. The bandit's. 1601 01:46:55,740 --> 01:46:59,368 - You need a ride? - I could use one. 1602 01:46:59,494 --> 01:47:02,371 - Some bullshit commission, huh? - Yeah. 1603 01:47:02,497 --> 01:47:05,917 Tell me, where's it written in the constitution where it says a man can't hustle for money? 1604 01:47:06,000 --> 01:47:09,169 Huh? Where's it written? I mean, it's not like I went into an alley... 1605 01:47:09,295 --> 01:47:11,714 got a brick and whacked the guy over the head with it. 1606 01:47:11,839 --> 01:47:14,007 You'd think I..I went into somebody's house and stole his stuff. 1607 01:47:14,133 --> 01:47:16,969 I mean, all I'm doin' is sellin'. Where's the crime in that? 1608 01:47:17,095 --> 01:47:20,598 - Yeah, I don't know what the country's comin' to. - You're tellin' me? 1609 01:47:20,723 --> 01:47:24,476 I don't know what the country's comin' to. 1610 01:47:26,688 --> 01:47:29,482 Wanna know what our big crime is? 1611 01:47:29,607 --> 01:47:33,694 We're nickel-and-dime guys, just small-time hustlers. 1612 01:47:33,820 --> 01:47:36,072 We got caught because we were hustling nickels and dimes. 1613 01:47:36,155 --> 01:47:39,575 Nickels and dimes. You got a good point there, BB. 1614 01:47:39,701 --> 01:47:44,038 You're right on the money with that kind of thinkin'. Nickels and dimes. Hmm. 1615 01:47:51,462 --> 01:47:55,632 Nickels and dimes. Nickels and dimes. 1616 01:47:55,758 --> 01:47:58,886 Now we gotta start thinkin' about a new business to get into. 1617 01:47:59,012 --> 01:48:02,849 New? It's very hard to find 'somethin' new to get into. 1618 01:48:05,310 --> 01:48:08,146 - Maybe. Maybe not. - Yeah. 1619 01:48:08,271 --> 01:48:10,314 I'll put on my thinking cap. I'll come up with somethin' new. 1620 01:48:10,440 --> 01:48:13,609 - Believe me, it's just a matter of time. We'll think of something. - Yeah. Oh, no, a matter of time. 1621 01:48:13,693 --> 01:48:17,863 - We'll get it. We'll get it. - Hey, did you hear? Uh, rumour has it there's a whole new Cadillac coming out. 1622 01:48:17,947 --> 01:48:20,699 - What? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna redo all the flns or somethin'. 1623 01:48:20,825 --> 01:48:23,077 - You're kiddin'. You mean a new lines thing? - I hear it's a real beaut. 1624 01:48:23,161 --> 01:48:25,454 - Ooh. - Yeah. This is what a guy told me. 1625 01:48:25,580 --> 01:48:30,293 Ooh, maybe I should put in my order right away. Those things are gonna go like hot cakes. 1626 01:48:30,376 --> 01:48:32,586 - Whoo. - What are you talking about? 1627 01:48:32,712 --> 01:48:35,840 You don't got a pot to piss in. 1628 01:48:35,965 --> 01:48:38,634 You give me the pot, I'll flll it. 1629 01:48:40,470 --> 01:48:42,930 - You know, I got an idea. What? - I got an idea. What? What were you gonna say? 1630 01:48:43,056 --> 01:48:45,767 -No, no, you go first. -No, go on. -No, no, you go first. Um, I'm thinking. 1631 01:48:45,892 --> 01:48:47,852 - What was your idea? I wanna hear it. - Hey, you're a guest. What is it? 1632 01:48:47,977 --> 01:48:50,354 - Oh, I'm a guest. I got an idea, but if you.. - No, no, tell me, uh... 1633 01:48:50,480 --> 01:48:52,315 what your idea was, and then I'll tell you mine. 1634 01:48:52,440 --> 01:48:55,151 - I want.. Well, what is it? No, go on. - This is irritating. Please. 1635 01:48:55,276 --> 01:48:57,778 -Just go ahead and tell me. Just go right ahead. - I just found your-- 1636 01:48:57,904 --> 01:48:59,655 - Well, I wanna hear your.. - Everything. 1637 01:48:59,781 --> 01:49:02,867 - All right, I'll tell you what. We'll flip a coin for it. - All right. Here we go. - I'm as happy as a baby boy 1638 01:49:02,992 --> 01:49:05,285 - What do you got? - Two out of three. 1639 01:49:05,370 --> 01:49:07,997 - I got heads. - With another brand new choo-choo toy 1640 01:49:08,122 --> 01:49:11,667 - What do you got? - What do I got? You told me you got heads. 1641 01:49:11,793 --> 01:49:16,589 When I met my sweet Lorraine Lorraine, Lorraine 1642 01:49:31,729 --> 01:49:34,481 The one good thing 1643 01:49:34,566 --> 01:49:37,443 In my life 1644 01:49:37,527 --> 01:49:39,695 Has gone away 1645 01:49:39,779 --> 01:49:42,072 I don't know why 1646 01:49:43,366 --> 01:49:45,493 She's gone away 1647 01:49:45,618 --> 01:49:49,121 I don't know where 1648 01:49:49,205 --> 01:49:53,584 Somewhere I cannot follow her 1649 01:49:55,169 --> 01:49:59,131 -The one good thing didn't stay too long -Hey, hey, hey 1650 01:50:01,009 --> 01:50:02,969 My back was turned 1651 01:50:03,094 --> 01:50:06,472 - Hey, hey, hey -And she was gone 1652 01:50:06,598 --> 01:50:09,976 Good thing where have you gone 1653 01:50:11,895 --> 01:50:14,022 My good thing 1654 01:50:14,105 --> 01:50:16,315 - You been gone too long - Good thing 1655 01:50:18,610 --> 01:50:20,612 People say 1656 01:50:20,737 --> 01:50:23,197 I should forget 1657 01:50:24,449 --> 01:50:28,619 There's plenty more Don't get upset 1658 01:50:30,288 --> 01:50:32,373 People say 1659 01:50:32,457 --> 01:50:36,043 She's doin' fine 1660 01:50:36,127 --> 01:50:40,422 Mutual friends I see sometime 1661 01:50:42,050 --> 01:50:46,262 - That's not what I want to hear - Hey, hey, hey 1662 01:50:47,931 --> 01:50:52,060 - I wanna hear she wants me near - Hey, hey, hey 1663 01:50:53,394 --> 01:50:56,939 Good thing where have you gone 1664 01:50:58,858 --> 01:51:00,860 My good thing 1665 01:51:00,944 --> 01:51:03,446 - You've been gone too long - Good thing 1666 01:51:05,448 --> 01:51:08,159 Then one day 1667 01:51:08,243 --> 01:51:11,287 She came back 1668 01:51:11,371 --> 01:51:15,541 I was so happy that I didn't ask 1669 01:51:17,210 --> 01:51:20,004 I should've known 1670 01:51:20,129 --> 01:51:22,923 It couldn't last 1671 01:51:23,007 --> 01:51:25,551 Mornin' came 1672 01:51:25,635 --> 01:51:28,804 All too fast 1673 01:51:28,930 --> 01:51:32,975 - Mornin' came into my room - Hey, hey, hey 1674 01:51:34,727 --> 01:51:37,312 - Caught me dreamin' - Hey, hey, hey 1675 01:51:37,438 --> 01:51:40,190 Like a fool 1676 01:51:40,316 --> 01:51:43,777 Good thing where have you gone 1677 01:51:45,863 --> 01:51:47,781 My good thing 1678 01:51:47,865 --> 01:51:50,284 - You've been gone too long - Good thing 1679 01:51:52,036 --> 01:51:55,539 Good thing where have you gone 1680 01:51:57,584 --> 01:51:59,544 My good thing 1681 01:51:59,669 --> 01:52:02,254 - You've been gone too long - Good thing 1682 01:52:06,217 --> 01:52:08,719 My, my, my, my good thing 1683 01:52:08,803 --> 01:52:12,014 Where have you gone 1684 01:52:12,140 --> 01:52:14,392 My good thing 1685 01:52:14,475 --> 01:52:16,894 Yeah, my good thing157335

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