Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:04,670
But why do they still call
Batman using the Bat-Signal?
2
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,837
Wouldn't it just be, like,
easier to text him?
3
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:09,073
The Bat-Signal isn't
just to alert Batman,
4
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,342
it's also to strike fear
in the hearts of his enemies
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,676
and let them know
he's coming.
6
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:15,713
Sort of like Sheldon's knock.
7
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:19,717
Comparing me to Batman?
I'll take it.
8
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,585
If we don't do anything,
9
00:00:21,587 --> 00:00:23,721
how long do you think
they'll talk about Batman?
10
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:28,359
Well, I've know them
for 11 years, so... 11 years.
11
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:31,395
I believe they do text him.
12
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:33,864
The-the Bat-Signal is linked
to his phone via Bluetooth.
13
00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:35,399
Has that been
in the comics?
14
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:37,434
No, it's just what I believe.
15
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,271
All right, I'm putting
a stop to this.
16
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:43,474
If you knew how,
why'd you wait 11 years?
17
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,309
Hey, guys, guess what?
18
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:49,313
Today at work, I found out
I am going to meet Bill Gates.
19
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,217
Sorry, Leonard,
you and Penny had a good run.
20
00:00:54,086 --> 00:00:56,020
I'm not leaving him
for Bill Gates.
21
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:59,456
You sure? I-I bet
his Internet's really fast.
22
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,158
How did this happen?
23
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,060
Well, his foundation
is looking to partner
24
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,829
with a pharmaceutical company to
help develop affordable vaccines
25
00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:07,498
so they asked me
to show him around.
26
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,533
That's great.
When's he coming?
27
00:01:09,535 --> 00:01:12,202
Uh, he gets in on Sunday,
and Monday morning,
28
00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:13,837
I'm gonna give him a tour
of the labs and offices.
29
00:01:13,839 --> 00:01:17,908
Oh. He gets in
on Sunday, April first?
30
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:20,477
Nice try, Penny.
31
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:22,880
What're you
talking about?
32
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,248
April Fools' Day.
33
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,916
This is another one
of your classic pranks
34
00:01:25,918 --> 00:01:27,551
you try to pull on me
every year.
35
00:01:27,553 --> 00:01:30,554
Literally never
pulled a prank on you.
36
00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:32,089
Oh, really?
What about last year,
37
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,525
when you sent me that e-mail
with the photo attached,
38
00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:36,627
but you didn't attach a photo.
39
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,362
That was a mistake.
40
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,431
Messing with me? Yes, it was.
41
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,533
And this year,
42
00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:43,667
I am not falling for it.
43
00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:46,437
Sheldon, I swear...
No... what are you doing?
44
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,073
Oh, you're right. He's
not coming. April fools.
45
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,108
You know
what they say,
46
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,610
fool me "N" times,
47
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,945
where "N" equals the amount of
times you've already fooled me,
48
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:56,213
shame on you.
49
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:59,783
Fool me "N" plus one times,
shame on me.
50
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,922
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:08,258
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,893
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
53
00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:12,429
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:15,099
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,768
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,670
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,185
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:20,186 --> 00:02:24,186
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x18 ♪
The Gates Excitation
Original Air Date on
59
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,187
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
60
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,721
So you're gonna
spend a day
61
00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:29,957
with Bill Gates.
I'm a little jealous.
62
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,391
Well, I'm a little nervous.
63
00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,527
You know, if I do a good job,
I'm hoping they'll consider me
64
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,395
for a PR position
that's opening up.
65
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:38,405
Well, if you're nervous,
I-I know a lot about him.
66
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:42,109
I can fill you in
or maybe come along, whatever.
67
00:02:42,111 --> 00:02:44,678
I think I'll be okay.
68
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,513
Well, I'm-I'm just saying,
what are you gonna do
69
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,349
when he wants to talk about
high-level language interpreters
70
00:02:48,351 --> 00:02:49,717
for microcomputers?
71
00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:53,472
What are high-level language
interpreters for microcomputers?
72
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,241
A way of programming computers
73
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,343
using words and commands
instead of binary code.
74
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,012
Oh. That's actually kind of
interesting. Tell me more.
75
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,147
Oh, well...
76
00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:03,749
That, I'll do that. Mm-hmm.
77
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,385
- I didn't even see it coming.
- Yeah, well...
78
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,522
You never do.
79
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,258
Well, i-it's just,
he's an idol of mine
80
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,627
and I would love the chance
to hang out with him.
81
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:15,995
Look, I know you
want to meet him,
82
00:03:15,997 --> 00:03:17,763
but I can't turn this
into a social thing, okay?
83
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,899
This is my job.
I really need it to go well.
84
00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:22,735
I get it, I get it.
You're right.
85
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:25,004
Actually, I've-I've already
met him once before.
86
00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:27,373
He gave a talk at Princeton
and my mom took me.
87
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,241
Oh, really?
Was he nice?
88
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,576
He's super nice.
89
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:34,080
I-I got pretty emotional
and started crying and...
90
00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:36,782
He didn't make fun
of me or anything.
91
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,317
Well, you were a kid.
92
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,924
Uh-huh.
93
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,763
Bye, my babies,
I love you.
94
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:53,733
We love you, too, Mommy.
95
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:55,301
Yeah, don't do that.
96
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,236
Bernadette?
97
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,974
Hi. Where you off to?
El parque.
98
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,442
El parque?
99
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:07,179
I'm learning Spanish so I can
talk to the other nannies.
100
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,448
How's that going?
101
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,784
Bueno.
102
00:04:11,786 --> 00:04:12,885
Good?
103
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:16,389
Oh...
104
00:04:16,391 --> 00:04:18,624
No bueno.
105
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,264
- Thanks for coming over.
- No problem.
106
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,599
Can I get you anything?
107
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,367
Juice box? 'Naners?
108
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,102
'Naners?
109
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,104
Sorry. Mom brain.
110
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,340
I think I've forgot how
to talk to grown-ups.
111
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,109
I meant Ba-naners.
112
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,145
You know what, I'm good.
113
00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:40,446
Okay.
114
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,314
So, what are we watching?
115
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,583
Bob the Builder.
I'll catch you up.
116
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,819
That one's Bob.
117
00:04:46,821 --> 00:04:48,988
He's a builder.
118
00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:51,824
Isn't this a kids show?
119
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:54,560
It's what we watch
in this house.
120
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,595
Bob the Builder,Dinosaur Train,
121
00:04:56,597 --> 00:05:00,533
and Peppa Pig, which is
both funny and meaningful.
122
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,804
You want to take a break and
maybe get something to eat?
123
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:06,839
Sure.
124
00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:11,243
Why does it not feel like
we're going?
125
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:15,548
Hang on, I-I just want
to see if Bob can fix it.
126
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,150
Yes, he can!
127
00:05:22,457 --> 00:05:23,723
Oh, hey.
128
00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:27,660
I folded your laundry
for you. You're welcome.
129
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:29,862
Uh, that's not mine.
130
00:05:33,301 --> 00:05:35,301
You're saying that these
aren't yours?
131
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,574
No.
132
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,781
So you're saying
that I'm touching
133
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,616
a stranger's underpants?
134
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,351
Yes.
135
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,829
And just like that,
it's the worst day of my life.
136
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:07,666
Wait, why are you being so weird?
137
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:11,137
It occurred to me that perhaps
you were telling the truth
138
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:14,473
about Bill Gates and it wasn't
just part of an elaborate prank.
139
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,609
What would the
prank part even be?
140
00:06:16,611 --> 00:06:20,412
I show up to meet Bill Gates
over your "objections,"
141
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,148
but it's not
Bill Gates at all, no.
142
00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:24,150
It's one of those look-alikes
that you hire for a party.
143
00:06:24,152 --> 00:06:25,851
And then when
I go around
144
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,753
showing everybody
the balloon animal
145
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,323
that "Bill Gates" made for me,
I'll look like an idiot.
146
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:35,661
Have you been eating
laundry detergent?
147
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,364
I just need you
to tell me the truth.
148
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:39,865
This is driving me crazy.
149
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,700
Sheldon, he is really coming.
150
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,035
Is he?
He is.
151
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,937
Really?
Yeah.
152
00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:48,474
Well, now I don't know
what to believe!
153
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,912
Thanks for getting me
out of the house.
154
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:54,914
I feel like my brain
is turning to mush.
155
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,015
Happy to help.
156
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:58,551
Did I show you the video
of the kids sitting?
157
00:06:58,553 --> 00:07:02,822
Yes, you texted it to me
at 3:00 a.m.
158
00:07:02,824 --> 00:07:06,125
Thought someone was either
in jail or dead.
159
00:07:06,127 --> 00:07:08,260
I'm sorry.
160
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,029
No, no, i-it gave me
something to watch
161
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:12,231
while I tried
to go back to sleep.
162
00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:15,201
You know what? I don't want
to be one of those moms
163
00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:16,902
who can only talk
about her kids.
164
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,638
Okay, well, I'm reading
a pretty good book.
165
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,509
It's the untold story of female
artists during the Renaissance.
166
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,477
Oh, I'm in the middle
of a book, too.
167
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,547
It's three pages long
and floats in the bath.
168
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,551
All right, we can talk
about something else.
169
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,653
It also quacks
when you squeeze it.
170
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,656
You should've seen Michael
laugh. I think I have a video.
171
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,626
Or maybe we can't.
172
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:48,467
Why is your screen name
"JohnWilliams"?
173
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:51,337
Uh, because I always score.
174
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:56,809
Hey, I think I'm gonna head to
the office for a little bit.
175
00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,143
On a Sunday?
Yeah.
176
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,212
Want to make sure
I'm prepared for tomorrow.
177
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:02,514
Do you think you could
get Bill Gates
178
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,049
to sign something for me?
179
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,317
Yeah, maybe, like what?
180
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:08,454
Oh, my arm, my chest, his call.
181
00:08:08,456 --> 00:08:11,123
His call will be to the police.
182
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:16,161
Penny, remember when
I introduced you
183
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,097
to 100 calorie Dove bars
184
00:08:18,099 --> 00:08:21,433
and you said you owed me,
like, big-time?
185
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,068
Guys, even if I wanted
to introduce you,
186
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,503
there is no room
in his schedule.
187
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,105
I mean, look.
Look at this itinerary.
188
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,274
I meet him at his hotel
first thing tomorrow morning,
189
00:08:28,276 --> 00:08:30,309
then we're on the go
all day long.
190
00:08:30,311 --> 00:08:31,877
You're right.
Guys, this is her job.
191
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:32,945
We need to respect that.
192
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,247
Thank you, honey.
Proud of you.
193
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:36,715
Love you.
194
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:42,888
I totally just saw
what hotel he's staying at.
195
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,124
What are we waiting
here for?
196
00:08:45,126 --> 00:08:46,392
For Penny to walk
down the stairs,
197
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,127
get in her car, and drive away.
198
00:08:48,129 --> 00:08:49,862
Right, smart.
199
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,329
Is that long enough?
She's pretty quick, let's go.
200
00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:06,319
What would you do
if you had a billion dollars?
201
00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:08,254
Same as Bill Gates,
202
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,523
try to make the world
a better place,
203
00:09:10,525 --> 00:09:13,893
but I'd do it
in a working Iron Man suit.
204
00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:16,596
I didn't know that came
in a boys' medium.
205
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:19,966
Th-This is a bad idea.
206
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,167
Maybe we should go.
207
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,902
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
208
00:09:22,904 --> 00:09:24,404
I'm just feeling guilty,
209
00:09:24,406 --> 00:09:26,873
like I'm kind of sneaking around
behind Penny's back.
210
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,374
We're not doing
anything wrong.
211
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,176
We're just hanging out
in a hotel lobby.
212
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,844
Plenty of people
do that:
213
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:34,947
businessmen,
high-end prostitutes.
214
00:09:38,553 --> 00:09:40,520
That's a fun new game,
215
00:09:40,522 --> 00:09:43,556
CEO or Ho.
216
00:09:43,558 --> 00:09:45,925
No, this is wrong, let's go.
217
00:09:45,927 --> 00:09:48,327
Guys, guys, that's him.
218
00:09:48,329 --> 00:09:50,229
- Be cool.
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
219
00:09:50,231 --> 00:09:53,032
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
220
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:53,956
Cooler.
221
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,152
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
222
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,940
Uh, M-Mr. Gates, I'm-I'm
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
223
00:10:00,942 --> 00:10:02,475
We've actually met before.
224
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,110
Sorry, I don't remember.
225
00:10:04,112 --> 00:10:07,447
You were so nice, a-and
it was really special to me
226
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:10,650
because you've been such
a big influence on my life.
227
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,151
I mean, ever since
I was a little kid,
228
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,387
I've looked up to you
like-like a hero.
229
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:17,290
Oh, now I remember.
230
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,592
Would you like a tissue?
231
00:10:19,594 --> 00:10:21,494
How about a hug?
232
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,663
How-how about a tissue?
233
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,568
Sorry I talked about
my kids the whole time.
234
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:30,503
Oh, don't worry about it.
235
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,505
I mean, besides you cutting up
my meat for me,
236
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,874
it was a lovely lunch.
237
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:37,777
God. What's happening?
238
00:10:37,779 --> 00:10:41,113
I'm a smart, educated,
successful...
239
00:10:41,115 --> 00:10:43,249
"Woman"?
240
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,284
I was gonna get it.
241
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:47,753
Don't be so hard on yourself.
242
00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:50,523
Pregnancy and childbirth
actually cause physical changes
243
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,258
to the structure of your brain.
244
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,961
I liked the old structure
of my brain.
245
00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:58,498
But then, I liked a lot
of my old structures.
246
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,867
Well, these are
positive changes.
247
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,169
Studies with rats
show that new mothers
248
00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:05,905
are more sensitive to danger,
better at multitasking
249
00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:08,908
and bolder
in the pursuit of food.
250
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:12,478
I did stick a couple
lamp chops in my purse.
251
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:16,082
So that's what I was smelling.
252
00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:19,519
Look, even though your
brain is different,
253
00:11:19,521 --> 00:11:21,187
in many ways, it's better.
254
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,688
But were you bored?
255
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:24,190
Of course not.
256
00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:25,691
You're lying.
257
00:11:25,693 --> 00:11:28,661
Which you can tell, because
your maternal brain is better
258
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:31,464
at sensing nonverbal cues.
259
00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:33,332
Now you're just being
condescending.
260
00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:35,801
Look at you, two for two.
261
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:42,542
Uh, hold the door.
262
00:11:42,544 --> 00:11:44,176
Hold the door!
263
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:51,484
Oh. Hi, Leonard.
264
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:54,253
Didn't you hear me
yell "hold the door"?
265
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,088
I did. But you know
what they say,
266
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,158
"hold the door,
get robbed some more."
267
00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:01,494
No one says that.
268
00:12:01,496 --> 00:12:03,195
Oh. Well, they should,
269
00:12:03,197 --> 00:12:06,299
because it's true,
and it rhymes.
270
00:12:07,168 --> 00:12:08,601
So where have you been?
271
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,604
Actually, I met Bill Gates.
272
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,339
I see.
273
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,574
You're all in on it.
274
00:12:14,576 --> 00:12:16,876
Uh, nice try.
275
00:12:16,878 --> 00:12:19,145
It's not an April
Fools' joke, Sheldon.
276
00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:21,314
I actually went to a hotel
and met him.
277
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:22,882
Right, right. Okay, so, uh,
278
00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:27,553
"Bill Gates" was at the "hotel"
that you "went to."
279
00:12:28,556 --> 00:12:30,256
Why is "went to" in quotes?
280
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,924
Fine.
281
00:12:31,926 --> 00:12:35,061
So "Bill Gates" was at
the "hotel"
282
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:37,163
that you went to.
283
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,900
That's you and Bill Gates.
284
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:42,101
It is.
285
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:43,869
Were you crying?
286
00:12:43,871 --> 00:12:46,138
No.
287
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,407
So,
288
00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:51,143
it wasn't a joke, and I actually
could've met him?
289
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,645
Well, he's probably still there.
290
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,113
What hotel?
291
00:12:54,115 --> 00:12:55,615
The La Quinta Inn
in Thousand Oaks,
292
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:56,882
under the name Hernandez.
293
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,218
Thank you, thank you so much!
294
00:13:01,289 --> 00:13:02,588
April fools.
295
00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:08,260
Hey.
296
00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:09,295
Hey, where you been?
297
00:13:09,297 --> 00:13:11,197
Uh, just hanging out
with the guys.
298
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:12,398
They still mad at me?
299
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,266
Uh, they were,
but then I was like, "Hey,"
300
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:16,569
and they were like, "What?"
and I was like, "You know,"
301
00:13:16,571 --> 00:13:19,205
and they were like, "Okay."
302
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,774
You're a good husband.
303
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:23,943
Well, it's not for me to say,
but you just said it,
304
00:13:23,945 --> 00:13:25,144
so you're probably right.
305
00:13:25,146 --> 00:13:27,546
Well, as it turns out, there is
306
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:29,582
a little reception
for Mr. Gates tomorrow night.
307
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:32,051
I asked if I could bring you,
and they said yes.
308
00:13:35,456 --> 00:13:37,723
What?
309
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:40,359
Yeah, you get to meet
Bill Gates again.
310
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,962
Wait, what do you mean "again"?
311
00:13:42,964 --> 00:13:44,964
'Cause you met him
that one time with your mom.
312
00:13:44,966 --> 00:13:47,033
Yes.
313
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,901
And then again tomorrow,
314
00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:52,371
for a total of two,
and only two times.
315
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,174
Yeah. I wonder
if he'll remember you.
316
00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:57,977
Yeah, I wonder that, too.
317
00:13:59,147 --> 00:14:00,913
The sun is losing about
318
00:14:00,915 --> 00:14:04,216
six times ten to the 12th grams
per second,
319
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,952
so the fraction of the mass
it loses every year
320
00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:09,755
is about ten
to the negative 13th.
321
00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:11,524
But don't worry.
322
00:14:11,526 --> 00:14:15,294
It'll be millions of years
before we all freeze to death.
323
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:22,334
Sweet dreams.
324
00:14:24,505 --> 00:14:25,705
Wow.
325
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:29,141
Hop on Pop took
a dark turn there at the end.
326
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:32,344
Amy made me realize that new
mothers are cognitively primed
327
00:14:32,346 --> 00:14:34,814
to take in new information,
and I've been wasting it
328
00:14:34,816 --> 00:14:38,617
making up songs
about our babies' toes.
329
00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:42,521
To be fair, I cowrote
"Pinky Toe, Pinky Toe."
330
00:14:42,523 --> 00:14:45,357
Evolution gave me this mom brain
to focus on the baby,
331
00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:48,794
but I figure I can hack it to
learn all kinds of new things.
332
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,329
Well, that's great.
333
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:53,099
Yeah. There was a problem,
and I fixed it.
334
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:56,869
Like Bob the Builder
in that giraffe cage.
335
00:14:56,871 --> 00:14:58,070
Spoiler alert.
336
00:14:58,072 --> 00:15:00,573
I didn't see that one yet.
337
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,510
So that's fun.
338
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,279
You get to meet
Bill Gates again.
339
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,749
It's not fun, I'm screwed.
340
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:12,218
It's fun for us.
341
00:15:12,987 --> 00:15:15,054
Maybe he won't
remember you.
342
00:15:15,056 --> 00:15:18,257
I snotted on his tie.
343
00:15:18,259 --> 00:15:21,227
Yeah, you did,
like, a lot.
344
00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:23,629
Hello, Leonard.
345
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,265
Thought I'd find you here.
346
00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:28,100
You snake.
347
00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:30,569
What's going on?
348
00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:32,004
He sent me all the way
to Thousand Oaks
349
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,239
to meet Bill Gates
350
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:35,141
when he knew full well
he wasn't staying there.
351
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,942
Wha-- Leonard,
that's terrible.
352
00:15:36,944 --> 00:15:38,277
Yeah, why would you do that?
353
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:42,448
You know he's staying at the
DoubleTree in Long Beach.
354
00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:44,717
Aha!
355
00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:46,418
Wait.
356
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,454
How do I know
you're not tricking me?
357
00:15:48,456 --> 00:15:51,357
We probably are.
358
00:15:51,359 --> 00:15:53,259
But what if we're not?
359
00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,796
You think you're so smart.
360
00:15:58,199 --> 00:16:02,768
You think I'm going to fall
for it again, don't you?
361
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:05,337
Well, I won't.
362
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,338
Where you going?
363
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,207
Shut up.
364
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:14,380
Aw, are you sure you can't come?
365
00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,782
I want to,
but I'm just too sick.
366
00:16:16,784 --> 00:16:17,883
Aw.
367
00:16:17,885 --> 00:16:20,286
And you really wanted
to meet him.
368
00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:21,554
I know.
369
00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:23,589
And I've been trying
to hide it so I could go,
370
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,391
but I don't want
to make him sick.
371
00:16:25,393 --> 00:16:27,293
Yeah.
372
00:16:27,295 --> 00:16:30,496
Yeah, you do look
pretty pale and clammy.
373
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,368
Yeah.
374
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:39,205
Have fun.
375
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,373
Well, feel better, okay?
376
00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:51,150
No, that's just my regular
pale and clammy.
377
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,822
I mean, really, the bigger
danger isn't the loss of mass.
378
00:16:56,824 --> 00:16:57,957
Instead, it will
run out of hydrogen
379
00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,792
to use for nuclear fuel,
380
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:03,295
swell up into a red giant,
and fry the Earth.
381
00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:06,665
So you don't want
to split a salad?
382
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:07,666
No, thank you.
383
00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:09,001
But speaking
of splitting things,
384
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,136
did you hear about the
light-splitting greenhouse film
385
00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:13,772
that could improve
photosynthetic efficiency?
386
00:17:13,774 --> 00:17:15,507
No.
387
00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:17,543
Just a little something I read
388
00:17:17,545 --> 00:17:19,812
while nursing a human being
that I made.
389
00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:23,148
I'm just gonna get the chicken.
390
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,149
Ah.
391
00:17:24,151 --> 00:17:26,585
N-E-K-C-I-H-C:
chicken backwards.
392
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,388
Boom, mom brain.
393
00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:33,058
And a whole bottle of wine.
394
00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:37,096
Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
395
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,697
In your face!
396
00:17:44,805 --> 00:17:48,340
Hello?
397
00:17:48,342 --> 00:17:50,910
Aw, hey, sweetie,
how you feeling?
398
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:53,045
Okay. I'm just resting.
399
00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:55,981
Well, I have a surprise
that might make you feel better.
400
00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:56,882
Oh, really?
401
00:17:56,884 --> 00:17:59,018
Yeah, look who's here.
402
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,723
Wait, I know you.
403
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:08,360
No, you don't.
404
00:18:08,362 --> 00:18:09,895
Yes, I do.
405
00:18:09,897 --> 00:18:12,564
You were waiting for me
at my hotel.
406
00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:15,034
You ruined my tie.
407
00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:16,435
Wait, what?
408
00:18:16,437 --> 00:18:17,670
What's he talking about?
409
00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:21,740
Uh, he, uh-- obviously,
he's kidding.
410
00:18:21,742 --> 00:18:23,242
That's a,
that's a good one, Bill.
411
00:18:23,244 --> 00:18:25,411
I got to go.
412
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,249
Stupid Leonard,
413
00:18:30,251 --> 00:18:33,452
meeting stupid Bill Gates,
414
00:18:33,454 --> 00:18:37,589
without stupid me.
415
00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:42,394
Aw.
416
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,234
I am so sorry-- Sheldon?
417
00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:52,404
Oh, Leonard,
I can't stay mad at you.
418
00:18:52,406 --> 00:18:54,306
Come here.
419
00:18:54,308 --> 00:18:56,475
Apology accepted.
420
00:18:57,445 --> 00:18:59,144
What's for dinner? I'm starving.
421
00:19:05,651 --> 00:19:07,484
Hola.
422
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:18,883
How are you ladies doing?
423
00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:21,184
Raise your hands
if you're bueno.
424
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:36,399
Me llamo Stuart Bloom.
425
00:19:44,232 --> 00:19:51,132
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
30592
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof