Original subtitles

You want it? Try and get it.

Give it to me. Come on, Dash.

Fakes right, cuts left.

No one's gonna catch him!

I don't need to catch you, you Neanderthal nitwit.

I know where you sleep!

Ugh. Ah!

Hey! Liam and Dash,

could you please stop racing through...

Tiffany, would you please turn down the music?

It's called rock and roll, people!

♪

No headphones at the table.

What are you listening to?

Whale mating sounds.

It relaxes me.

Oh, hey, guess what.

I'm sending in a patent application today.

Really

The Pickle Popper.

- That was one of Dad's best. - Mm-hm.

If it sells like the ButterMe Toaster,

we'll be rich.

Oh, honey, I wish.

Uh, we sold just about enough of these suckers

to buy ourselves a 12-year-old Astro van.

The van that can.

If you mean "only start half the time

and randomly honk the horn,"

then yes, it definitely can.

Yelp says you're a five-star foot rubber.

Let's see what you got.

Nnh...

Those are the feet of a 29-year-old.

Tom Jones told me that.

Ah!

Hey, uh, Wyatt,

can you actually help me out upstairs, huh?

See what Dash broke this time.

Uh. Ow.

What is going on in here?

- It's his fault. It's so his fault.

- He just attacked me. - He's the spaz, not me.

He screwed up my game with Ludvik.

And who is Ludvik?

This kid from Scrabble he's playing online checkers with.

We were playing Scrabble, and he's from

the Czech Republic, you troglodyte.

I don't know what that means,

but it sounds like an insult!

Hey, hey, come on. Guys!

Guys?

Stop it.

Ugh.

- Ow. - Hey!

Family meeting, downstairs in five.

Good job.

Okay, look, I know we've been through a lot lately,

and there are surely more tough times ahead,

but we're just...

we're not being nice to each other.

We're not acting like a family,

and I'm not mad, I'm just...

I'm just disappointed.

Go easy. Look how sad they are.

Give 'em up. Now.

Look, you boys go back to school on Monday,

and next weekend is...

well, it would've been your father's birthday,

so I... I think we should do something.

You know, your dad always made such a big deal

out of your birthdays.

It seems right that we honor his.

Any ideas?

Well, what if we had some friends over, and...

we showed them a few of Dad's inventions?

Well, that's an interesting idea.

I mean, your dad loved his inventions,

but they do need a little spiffing up,

so how about we all help Wyatt with his plan, okay?

What do you guys think?

I don't know. I guess.

Okay, could I get a little enthusiasm?

- I guess. - I don't know!

Can we go now?

Yes, adjourned.

Boo.

I...is he going to be okay?

Little dude went down faster

than a fat guy on a water slide.

No, don't worry about Wyatt.

He's a fainter.

Yeah, that happens a lot with goats.

Well, at least the goats I knew.

What?

Is there something on my face?

Yes. Actually, it's the whole face.

It's pretty weird.

Hey.

- - Hey, honey.

Honey, stay with us, okay?

Wyatt, Wyatt, you remember your uncle Terry?

Your father's twin.

I am so sorry I scared you, little buddy.

My bad. You know, I forgot it's been

five years since I've been here.

I'm still not sure why.

Didn't you burn down our tree house?

That's all conjecture and hearsay.

I can't comment any further.

Isn't it great to see your dad's little brother again?

Little brother? But you and Dad

are identical twins.

Identical, yes, but Terry's a good nine minutes younger.

He's always been my little baby ever since.

Mom, this little baby's done a lot of growing up.

Hey, can you make me the little smiley-face pancakes

- I love

Coming right up. I get to pour the syrup!

Don't pour the syrup! I know, I know.

Pancakes!

Oh, good. More children in the house.

Quarterback pulls out.

Deep pass to the right side.

Dash, you, um...

you think about Dad a lot?

Hands it off...

Mom said I have to move in with you invertebrates.

Uncle Terry's getting the sofa bed in the living room.

No way!

You think I'm happy about this?

Last year, I had to give up my room to crazy Grandma.

Now I have to give up the living room to Bizarro Dad.

It's just cruel.

Hey!

Ah! God!

"Let the strongest live

and the weakest die." Charles Darwin.

"You're a butt-face." Dash McKenna.

Are you guys gonna help me with Dad's inventions?

Chill. We have all week.

Yeah, and Uncle Terry said he'll take care of the party.

How long is Uncle Terry gonna stay here?

Until he gets arrested again, or burns something else down.

So he did burn down the tree house?

Oh, no! Quiet, I've got to focus.

Ludvik just dropped an 80-pointer on me.

Okay, I think you guys have had--

Dig, dig! Oh, no, you don't!

I know you're using an anagram app, you Czech cheater!

Penalty

God. Oh, no!

Hello. Yo, Mom here.

No! My game stopped!

What happened?

- Mom, the router stopped... - Mom, the wi-fi's off!

I can't play my game with the TV off.

The wi-fi's not working.

I have something here from your dad...

and he told me I'd know when to give it to you, and...

he was right.

"Under the ga-nome"?

What's a ga-nome?

What's a ga-nome?

Tree house.

Purple haze.

Bermuda.

♪

What's so dangerous about a book?

For you? Trying to read it.

Hey, hold on, hold on.

I also have a letter from your dad.

Want me to read it?

Yeah.

"Hi, kiddos.

Hey, I know this may seem weird,

but I had a lot of fun making this book for you guys.

I know it must feel like I'm not there to be with you,

sharing the things that I love with the people I love most,

but I am,

on every page of this book.

Maybe if this book sparks your imagination,

you'll put down the gadgets for a few minutes.

I want you boys to be dangerously good

and take some chances,

get lost, try new things,

be fearless.

'Just do it.'

Wait, no, that's Nike,

and they might sue.

Mine is 'You can't succeed unless you're willing to fail.'

Life's an adventure, so go out and live it.

I love you forever. Dad."

Oh, get off of me.

Dude, move!

Okay, fine. Dash!

You're gonna break it.

Submarines.

Hey, hey, hey.

"The first submarine was tested in the River..."

Whatever. - Oh, look, look.

Whoa. "Making a paper hat."

"Imagine you're wearing your paper hat

in your paper boat."

Wait, wait, wait, I was looking at that.

Great Wall of China.

Oh, where's that?

- China. - Oh.

Go-carts.

Coin tricks.

Oh, astronomy.

Frogs.

Frogs don't have ears.

- Yes, they do. - Yes, they do. Come on, Dash.

I think Dad's wrong on this one.

Whoa, I'm not done reading the pictures!

Whoa, what's this?

Pyramids.

Temple of Artemis.

This is so cool.

Oh...wow.

That's gonna take some time.

Mm. This is gonna be a killer party,

and I'm not just saying that 'cause it's my birthday, too,

so don't even think about getting me a present.

I'm a size large. Whatever.

Um...

Look, Terry, I'm really glad that you've come back

to process everything that's happened, you know,

but at this moment,

and you being you...

Oh, you mean 'cause, um...

'cause I look just like him, right?

Well, yeah, there's that, but, and no offense,

I'm just worried that you might not be

the greatest role model for the kids.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no. No offense taken.

Uh, and...and...

you have nothing to worry about, Beth.

I've changed my ways.

I'm a very different man than I used to be.

Thank you for holding. Can I help you?

Yes, hello, it's Father O'Herlihy here

from the orphanage, calling about

the deluxe fog maker.

Ah, it would just warm the cockles

of the little tykes' hearts

if you could find it in your soul...

45%. Great, yes.

Where are you, Wyatt? My dogs are barking!

"The command module separates from

the Saturn rocket."

Cool.

"It rotates and docks with the lunar module,

also known as the LEM."

Adventurer...

Adventurer, this is Houston.

Come in.

Um...

hello?

Wyatt, there you are.

Glad to hear communication's back up and running.

Dad, is...

is that you?

Yep, it's me.

But, uh...

Listen, there are a lot of dads around here, so...

we'd best keep it official.

I'm Houston, you're Adventurer.

Adventurer, do you copy?

Yeah, yeah, I copy, Dad... Houston.

Adventurer,

you're a go.

Go

To the moon. Where else, champ?

What? No, no, I can't.

I can't do that.

Are you crazy? I'm ten!

There you are, you little sneak.

Mom, I'm working here.

- Grandma

These feet aren't gonna massage themselves.

Come on, boys, let's go.

You don't want to be late on your first day back.

This party is gonna rock.

I got some great stuff set up.

Now, you're not gonna believe this,

but I once worked as a carnie.

Oh, that's not remotely hard to believe.

So I got a lead on a tilt-a-whirl.

- Wow. - Best of all.

I booked a musical act.

- Yeah? - Little band.

You might have heard of them.

- KISS? Ah, sweet!

I can finally collect!

Gene's owed me 100 bucks since the "Love Gun" tour.

Or was it Paul?

Liam, remember how Dad used to steer with his knees

so he could do a drum solo on the dashboard?

Yeah, I... I kind of. Um...

Oh, look, the price of gas went up 9/10 of a cent.

The Saudis are playing hardball.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What'd you honk for?

No, it does it on its own.

I know. It just does it.

Hey, Sam.

You weren't here, so I finished

the five food group mobile without you.

All right, quiet, everyone.

Quiet.

Let's welcome Wyatt back to class.

Hi, Wyatt.

Now, we need to let Wyatt know

that he has support here in this classroom,

okay?

Because he's hurting.

Deep down inside, right here,

and it's not the kind of hurt you can put a Band-Aid on,

so we need to be kind to him.

Okay? Okay.

Okay, take a seat.

Okay, I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Mine was not good.

I won't bore you with the details.

Okay, so these alternate interior angles,

one and three, are created by this transversal,

and one and three form alternate interior angles,

which are always... supplementary?

No, congruent.

One and two are...

Two, one...

zero.

Adventurer, disengage the LEM

from Command Module.

Dad! I mean, Houston!

I can't do this.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

You gotta believe in yourself, Commander.

I do.

What's happening

Okay, here's what you have to do.

Yo, Wyatt!

Whoa.

Check it out. Even my puke floats.

Dash! Liam?

Get off me! In space,

no one can smell your farts.

Stop! Moon! Crash!

Houston! Don't panic.

Everything will be fine if you just...

Only one that stuck with it, huh?

Dash and Liam really like it.

They just have other stuff they have to do.

Mm-hm.

Hey, how's it going?

- With the inventions? - Mm-hm.

Really great.

How are you with Uncle Terry...

Taking over the party planning?

I trust he'll do the right thing.

I mean, he's out there right now,

hanging lights for his stage.

- - Ugh...

He keeps on shouting.

Oh, God. I'll get the first aid kit.

Ah!

Agh.

What's shaking, kiddo?

Tiffany, can you help me with one of Dad's inventions?

I can't do it alone.

Uh, gosh, sweetie, no, I can't.

I'm going out in a little while.

Why won't anyone talk about Dad?

Oh, honey.

There's a good reason.

If we talk about Patrick now,

he'll think we're calling him back.

We need to let his spirit make its journey.

So, when can we talk about him?

He needs three moon cycles to reach the celestial terminus.

Hm?

Hey, do me a solid. Hand me that hairbrush.

Here, oh.

Oops.

Oh.

Adventurer.

Help! Dude!

Wyatt!

Something's wrong!

Prepare for moon landing.

Stop beeping!

Uh-oh.

Dad! I mean, Houston!

You were going to tell me what to do.

What is it?

The first thing you need to do is calm down, son.

The key to being a good leader

is controlling your emotions.

I can't be a leader. I'm just a kid.

Even though you're the smallest and you don't think

you're strong enough or brave enough,

you can do it.

You can be a leader.

I know you can.

Dash, put that fire out.

Liam, plot the landing trajectory and speed.

Dash, get on those thrusters.

I need you to stop the spinning.

What? - You can do it.

I know you can.

It's just like a video game. Give short trigger bursts

until the needle goes under the red line.

Okay, and if I accidentally kill us,

I'll just start the level over again, right?

It's not that much like a video game.

Got it.

I have coordinates and landing specs.

We're stable.

Excellent. Good work, guys.

We need to get into the lunar module.

Follow me.

Lunar module has good descent.

1,000 feet till touchdown.

We have touchdown.

They did it! All right!

- Yes! - Well done!

One small step for Man,

one giant...

Hunk of green cheese for me!

That's not cheese.

Hey, it's not cheese.

Boy, this is nothing like Pink Floyd described it.

Dad?

Are you still here?

Always.

Hey, buddy.

All right, little guy.

- Okay. - Hey.

You okay, sweetie?

Yeah.

I wanna call a family meeting.

Hey.

Everyone, living room in two.

Okay, so, honey, is this about the party?

Yes.

And no.

I wanted us to talk about Dad.

I thought everyone could say one thing about him.

Anything.

I remember how Dad tipped everybody.

Not just waiters and delivery guys,

but, like, bus drivers and doctors.

I remember one time, he stuck a 20

into the dentist's pocket, said,

"Thanks for the extra floss, boss."

Patrick was...

Oh, gosh. He... He was a...

an artist with a foot rub.

He was the Michelangelo of massage.

Tiffany, is that really what you wanted to say?

No, honey, it's not.

I guess I've just been...

you know, running away from all these feelings

'cause...I miss him so much.

And I remember...

Patrick's smile. Oh!

His beautiful smile

made me feel...

loved.

I... I never would've graduated high school

without Patty.

He took a math quiz for me once.

And a history test.

Science exam.

Took my SATs.

He broke up with three girls for me.

Man, he was... He was a great brother.

I remember how Dad never let me quit.

Like with that diorama of the Boston Tea Party.

That turned out so well.

It was terrible.

I left it on the radiator, and Paul Revere melted.

But, like Dad always said,

you can't succeed unless you're willing to fail.

I know what he means now.

Okay, Mom?

Oh, okay.

Well, I remember that he

made up a special dance for each of us.

That's right. Mine was the Rusty Robot.

Right?

That's it! That's the one.

That was the Rusty Robot. I remember.

Oh! Turn it off.

And we had the high-speed hustle.

Right, right.

That's the one, right.

Yeah!

The high-speed hustle. - Whoo.

Whenever he saw that one of us was sad,

he would do that silly octopus dance

until we laughed.

The octopus dance!

The octopus dance...

That's ridiculous, right?

Gather round, everyone!

Simply light the wick

and behold Rapunzel's sparkling hair.

The wick...

the wick...

So, the bread goes in here.

The butter is in here.

Hi, everyone.

I wanted to show you all

my dad's favorite invention.

The Dynamo Carousel.

He called this a "smile-maker."

I couldn't figure out how to make this thing go,

and then I realized that Dad wanted us all

to work together on this one.

Mom, Dash, Liam,

come up here, please.

You too, Uncle Terry.

Haven't been on one of these in a week.

Hi-ho, Silver!

Oh...

It's working!

Ho ho ho!

Is there a Terry here?

Minikiss? That's why they were half-off.

Awesome! They're just like KISS,

only mini-er.

And KISS-ier.

Mm.

Your dad would've loved this.

He does.