All language subtitles for The Librarians (2014) - 04x10 - And Some Dude Named Jeff.HDTV.SVA.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,224 --> 00:00:01,458 Jenkins! 2 00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:02,692 Where was the artifact found? 3 00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,060 La Brea Tar Pits. 4 00:00:04,061 --> 00:00:05,262 A volunteer at the paleontology department 5 00:00:05,263 --> 00:00:06,930 uncovered it by accident. 6 00:00:06,931 --> 00:00:09,232 From the description of it, sounds like the Osiris Stone, 7 00:00:09,233 --> 00:00:11,201 which has the power to reanimate. 8 00:00:11,202 --> 00:00:12,969 Which explains all the saber-toothed tigers 9 00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,337 running through the streets of Los Angeles. 10 00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:15,605 Jenkins, we need a door! 11 00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,874 I grabbed some spears from the weapons room. 12 00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,277 I found some nets. Gosh, I hope they're big enough for saber-toothed tigers. 13 00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:22,279 Make that woolly mammoths. Someone just Instagrammed 14 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,880 one of them crashing into a tour bus. 15 00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:25,282 We're gonna need bigger nets. 16 00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:26,583 - Jenkins? - Coming! 17 00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:28,585 Jenkins, there you are. 18 00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:30,453 We need a door to the La Brea Tar Pits, buddy, now. 19 00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,554 Yeah, sure. One door coming up. 20 00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,993 Good luck, Librarians. 21 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:54,392 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 22 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,380 Hmm. 23 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,596 I don't think this is right. 24 00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:19,468 Hello. 25 00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:21,637 Anyone here? 26 00:01:33,751 --> 00:01:35,884 Jeff Peppers. 27 00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:57,406 Oh, my... 28 00:01:58,109 --> 00:02:00,443 Oh, my dear God. 29 00:02:00,444 --> 00:02:02,279 Jeff! 30 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,680 What are you doing, Brad Pitt, 31 00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:04,981 staring at yourself? 32 00:02:04,982 --> 00:02:06,383 No, madame, um, you... 33 00:02:06,384 --> 00:02:08,018 You overslept again, Jeff. 34 00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,119 You gotta feed the babies. 35 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,654 I'm not him. He's not me. 36 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,889 And, after you're done, I've got a list of chores. 37 00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:15,792 I need you to fix that dish. It's acting screwy. 38 00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,560 I thought we could watch a "Wheel Of Fortune" later. 39 00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:19,296 Wait, madame, I beseech you to listen to me. 40 00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,664 Something horrible has happened... 41 00:02:20,665 --> 00:02:22,499 Well, something horrible is about to happen 42 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,935 if you don't get up those stairs and feed the babies. 43 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,569 I will do no such thing... 44 00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:28,405 Feed the babies! Feed the babies! 45 00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:30,307 - I will not feed your bab... - Get up there. 46 00:02:30,308 --> 00:02:31,841 You know what your responsibility is. 47 00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,944 - Listen... I know... I can't... - Get in there. 48 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,947 All right, don't forget to clean all the litter boxes and refill their bowls. 49 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:41,384 The eyedropper for poor little Tessie's pinkeye is on the counter. 50 00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:45,055 Otto's got ringworm again, so don't forget to give him those suppositories. 51 00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,191 What are you waiting for? 52 00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:49,591 I... 53 00:02:50,494 --> 00:02:51,693 Uh... 54 00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:57,133 Soap, soap, soap! 55 00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:58,435 You want some breakfast? 56 00:02:58,436 --> 00:03:00,036 No, I've gotta get to the library. 57 00:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,805 Library? 58 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,873 - But you hate reading, - Is that his car? 59 00:03:03,874 --> 00:03:06,442 Jeff, what about my "Wheel"? You promised you'd fix the dish. 60 00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:15,617 Oh, God, what is that smell? 61 00:03:17,722 --> 00:03:19,923 Just... come on! 62 00:03:19,924 --> 00:03:21,123 Damn it. 63 00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:28,231 Yo, dude! Jeff! Let's get a move on. 64 00:03:28,232 --> 00:03:29,733 - Jeff! - Jeff! 65 00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:30,767 I am not... 66 00:03:30,768 --> 00:03:32,736 Never mind, just pl... go. Go away, please. 67 00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,337 Hop in. We're gonna be late for work. 68 00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:35,338 I'm not going to your work. 69 00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,574 Ooh, playing hooky. 70 00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:39,542 You gonna get in so much trouble. 71 00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:41,011 Just call in sick. It's what I do. 72 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,113 Who's gonna know? 73 00:03:43,114 --> 00:03:45,081 Well, technically, I'm the assistant manager, so I'm supposed to report it. 74 00:03:45,082 --> 00:03:46,683 Dennis, please, I was talking. 75 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,818 - Where you need to go, Jeff? - Yeah, we'll drive you. 76 00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:55,625 Yes, fine. Take me to St. John's Bridge. 77 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,360 - St. John's. - Why, thinking of jumping off? 78 00:03:57,361 --> 00:04:01,331 Not a bad idea right now. 79 00:04:01,332 --> 00:04:03,165 Want a Ring Pop? 80 00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:07,303 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 81 00:04:07,304 --> 00:04:11,741 Stop! Stop! Let me out of here. 82 00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,643 Okay, well, we still on for later? 83 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,545 - No. - Cool. See you then. 84 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,147 - Bye, Jeff. - Feel better. 85 00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:19,949 He's not sick, Dennis! God! 86 00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,450 Pump it! 87 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:31,226 You, sir, are one sexy stud muffin. 88 00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:36,498 Oh, wow. 89 00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:42,405 Mm, thank you, book. 90 00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,173 Thank you. 91 00:04:54,985 --> 00:04:56,286 Oh, hey! All right. 92 00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:58,688 The Librarians. How was your adventure? 93 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,256 Good. Went really well. No thanks to you! 94 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,825 You set the door to a port-o-potty 95 00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,860 two feet from the Tar Pits. We fell right in. 96 00:05:03,861 --> 00:05:05,428 Uh, this stuff is really like sand. 97 00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:07,363 It gets everywhere, and I mean everywhere! 98 00:05:07,364 --> 00:05:10,166 What's going on with you, Jenkins? You never make mistakes like that. 99 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,102 Must've just had a senior moment. 100 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,636 But, hey, at least the mission went well, right? 101 00:05:17,341 --> 00:05:19,576 Uh, is that the artifact? 102 00:05:19,577 --> 00:05:21,478 The Osiris Stone... 103 00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,513 it's able to bring the dead back to life. 104 00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,148 That is so rad. Can I touch it? 105 00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:26,483 Sure. 106 00:05:26,484 --> 00:05:29,452 Awesome. Wow. 107 00:05:29,453 --> 00:05:30,954 You feeling all right, Jenkins? 108 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,356 What? Uh, yeah. 109 00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:34,457 Yeah, no, never better. 110 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,526 Yeah, just feeling like myself, 111 00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:37,727 you know, Jenkins. 112 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,929 Jenkins being Jenkins. 113 00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,364 Aah! What the hell? 114 00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:42,699 Perimeter alarm. 115 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,933 Someone's trying to get into the library. 116 00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:48,938 Who is that? 117 00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:51,808 Fingerprint not recognized. 118 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,244 - Damn it. - Voice pattern not recognized. 119 00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:56,211 Oh, just... shut up. 120 00:05:58,182 --> 00:05:59,581 Ah. 121 00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:04,187 Colonel? Colonel, it's me. It's Jenkins! 122 00:06:04,188 --> 00:06:05,255 What's he doing? 123 00:06:05,256 --> 00:06:06,689 I mean, he's clearly insane. 124 00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,424 You gotta feel sorry for him, don't ya? 125 00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,226 Looks like a sad sack. 126 00:06:10,227 --> 00:06:14,264 I don't know. I feel like there's kind of a rugged handsomeness to him. 127 00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:15,964 How... 128 00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:18,934 Ah. 129 00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:23,105 - Sorry. Need this. - Hey! 130 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,108 Jenkins. 131 00:06:27,545 --> 00:06:29,778 Oh, look. He's writing something. 132 00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,416 - Hey! Whoa! - What are you doing? 133 00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,051 Jeez! Butterfingers, right? 134 00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:37,420 Well, we're done with this guy anyway. 135 00:06:37,421 --> 00:06:39,923 Look, you've seen one homeless guy on bath salts, you've seen them all. 136 00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:42,859 Now, tell me all about that mission. 137 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,228 Can you see it? 138 00:06:45,229 --> 00:06:46,296 I'm Jenkins! 139 00:06:46,297 --> 00:06:48,196 I am... 140 00:06:52,169 --> 00:06:53,935 They don't know it's me. 141 00:06:56,489 --> 00:06:59,258 Jeff, where have you been? 142 00:06:59,259 --> 00:07:01,727 I just walked from St. John's Bridge. 143 00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:03,829 Well, Lord, that's over five miles away. 144 00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:05,464 Actually eleven. 145 00:07:05,465 --> 00:07:07,166 Well, now that you're back, 146 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,201 the toilet's been acting fussy again, 147 00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:11,937 and I had to miss both "Wheel" and "Steve Harvey." 148 00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:14,640 Oh, and guess what? We ran out of Werther's Originals. 149 00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:16,008 Wait a minute. Where are you going? 150 00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:18,143 I'm going to search his room, 151 00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,512 try to figure out why... how this happened. 152 00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:21,981 - Whose room? - Uh, just... 153 00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:23,849 Wait, what about my Werther's Originals, Jeff? 154 00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:27,653 Good grief, woman, don't you have some wretched husband 155 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,854 you can order about? 156 00:07:28,855 --> 00:07:31,223 How could you say something like that? 157 00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:32,791 Do you think it's been easy for me 158 00:07:32,792 --> 00:07:34,460 living without your father? 159 00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:38,296 His cancer just about destroyed me. 160 00:07:41,201 --> 00:07:42,301 I'm sorry. 161 00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:45,002 I miss him so much. 162 00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,405 Right. 163 00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:51,110 Excuse me. 164 00:07:51,111 --> 00:07:54,079 Read it. People just inform themselves. 165 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,381 - You're a dork. - Actually, you're a dork. 166 00:07:55,382 --> 00:07:56,615 - Hey, Jeff! - Hey, Jeff. 167 00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:57,916 Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! 168 00:07:57,917 --> 00:07:59,651 You ready to play? We said after work. 169 00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:01,320 I got Ring Pops. 170 00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:02,554 Leave me alone, please. 171 00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,689 - What about the game? - Yeah. 172 00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,424 So last we left off, 173 00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:08,093 we were about to enter the catacombs of the demon king 174 00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:10,129 to find the golden treasure. 175 00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:12,364 Jeff, D&D, we're waiting. 176 00:08:12,365 --> 00:08:14,800 Excuse me, please. For the last time, leave me be. 177 00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:16,568 I do not want to play your stupid game. 178 00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:20,204 Well, Jenkins is out. 179 00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,575 Guess it's just you and me, Jacob Stone. 180 00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,544 Quite right, Cassandra Cillian. 181 00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:28,680 Wait, wait, wait, wait, you know about the Librarians? 182 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,283 God, what is wrong with you? He is seriously mental today. 183 00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:32,785 They're our D&D characters. 184 00:08:32,786 --> 00:08:34,820 We got Cassandra the Sorceress, 185 00:08:34,821 --> 00:08:35,988 Stone the Ranger. 186 00:08:35,989 --> 00:08:37,423 Baird the Warrior Princess. 187 00:08:37,424 --> 00:08:39,191 Flynn the Wise Sage. 188 00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:40,225 And Mr. Jones? 189 00:08:40,226 --> 00:08:42,361 Ezekiel the Cunning Thief. 190 00:08:42,362 --> 00:08:45,197 Sadly, he got eaten by a tenth-level orc 191 00:08:45,198 --> 00:08:46,131 a few weeks ago. 192 00:08:46,132 --> 00:08:47,566 How do you know about them? 193 00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,834 Dude, because of you. 194 00:08:48,835 --> 00:08:50,102 You're, like, obsessed with them. 195 00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:51,669 Did you forget your shrine? 196 00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:56,240 What? 197 00:08:59,245 --> 00:09:00,979 You know, I'm still on the fence 198 00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:02,848 about whether they're real or not. 199 00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:04,450 Librarians? Of course they are. 200 00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:06,418 What about all those DOSA files that Wikileaks dumped? 201 00:09:06,419 --> 00:09:08,220 Oh, or those articles by what's-her-name, 202 00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:09,288 the reporter. 203 00:09:09,289 --> 00:09:10,656 - Sarina Bhonsle. - Yes. 204 00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,723 - She retracted them. - What? 205 00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:12,858 She took them all back. 206 00:09:12,859 --> 00:09:14,193 Or she was forced to. 207 00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:15,994 Conspiracy. 208 00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,763 - You had me at conspiracy. - Oh, my God. 209 00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:20,766 I'm, uh... 210 00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,734 really obsessed with Jenkins, huh? 211 00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:24,336 Big time. 212 00:09:24,337 --> 00:09:26,939 You said Jenkins is like an immortal knight of Camelot. 213 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,041 - Percival, I think. - No, Lancelot. 214 00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:30,576 - Galahad. - Galahad! 215 00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:33,378 Who would want to be Galahad? Arthur is way cooler. 216 00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:38,416 So he switched bodies with me on purpose. 217 00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,154 The enemy is at the castle gates. 218 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:45,056 To battle! 219 00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,665 Your skills are impressive, Black Knight. 220 00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:55,499 Can you handle this? 221 00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:59,371 I meant to do that. 222 00:09:59,372 --> 00:10:00,572 Yeah, you know, I meant to do that. 223 00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:06,845 Hey, Cassandra. 224 00:10:06,846 --> 00:10:09,014 Sassy Cassie. 225 00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:10,215 How you doing? 226 00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,216 I'm good. 227 00:10:11,217 --> 00:10:13,619 Uh, I guess I just... Jenkins, I need to... 228 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,820 Ah, ah, ah, whoa, hey. 229 00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,254 Hold that thought. 230 00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:19,056 Water... 231 00:10:20,393 --> 00:10:21,525 into wine. 232 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,831 Ha! How sick is that, right? 233 00:10:25,832 --> 00:10:27,933 You want a pull? 234 00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:30,067 - No, I'm good. - Cool. More for me. 235 00:10:31,604 --> 00:10:34,273 Ah, so... what's up? 236 00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:38,110 I mean, to what do I owe this splendiferous pleasure, Miss Cillian? 237 00:10:38,111 --> 00:10:41,146 Um, I... I found this book in the Annex, 238 00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:42,915 and I've never seen it before, 239 00:10:42,916 --> 00:10:44,082 and I can't find a file on it. 240 00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:45,384 Oh, yeah, no, that's, um... 241 00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:46,852 that's 'cause it's a new acquisition. 242 00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,620 Yeah, from the s... 243 00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,455 ...department. 244 00:10:50,456 --> 00:10:52,424 - Oh. - I was just about to file it away, 245 00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:55,826 so don't you worry your pretty little red head about it. 246 00:10:57,664 --> 00:10:59,331 Okay. Great. 247 00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,532 Hey, um... 248 00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,568 I was just thinking, 249 00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:03,835 if you weren't busy later, 250 00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:05,103 you and me could go out 251 00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:07,539 and double straw a margarita, 252 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,208 maybe talk about magic, 253 00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,878 maybe... make some magic. 254 00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,179 Excuse me? 255 00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,647 What? No, nothing. 256 00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:16,782 - No. - No, no, I just... 257 00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:17,783 - Yeah. - Just kidding. 258 00:11:17,784 --> 00:11:19,251 Right. 259 00:11:19,252 --> 00:11:21,987 - Yeah... - Uh, I am going to put this puppy back 260 00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:23,622 and, yeah, good talk. 261 00:11:23,623 --> 00:11:25,390 Great. Okay. 262 00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,826 Yeah, Stoner, my man. 263 00:11:30,263 --> 00:11:31,964 Do you think... Do... Do you think 264 00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:34,800 there's something off about Jenkins? 265 00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:35,834 - 'Cause... - Maybe. 266 00:11:35,835 --> 00:11:36,935 - Yeah. - Yeah. 267 00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,237 - Mm-hmm. - He did ask me earlier 268 00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:39,838 if Baird was seeing anyone. 269 00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:41,540 - Oh. - I just figured it was a... 270 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,176 like a byproduct of him dealing with mortality 271 00:11:44,177 --> 00:11:47,746 or a delayed, delayed mid-life crisis. 272 00:11:47,747 --> 00:11:49,047 Right. 273 00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:51,883 Hiding place, hiding place. 274 00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:54,753 Oh. Oh. 275 00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,588 Ugh. 276 00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:58,489 Gross. 277 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,030 Rats... skitter, skitter. 278 00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:06,431 Bats... flying, flying, flying. 279 00:12:06,432 --> 00:12:08,967 You make your way down the castle catacombs, 280 00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,969 slime oozing down the walls. 281 00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,671 Suddenly you come across a wooden door. 282 00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:14,039 What do you do? 283 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,374 - We open the door. - This is ridiculous. 284 00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,576 It creaks open... Cree-eak... 285 00:12:17,577 --> 00:12:20,279 revealing a glistening mound of treasure. 286 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,080 But it is being guarded 287 00:12:22,081 --> 00:12:24,816 by a great ten-foot tall cave troll. 288 00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:26,785 Have I been acting odd lately? 289 00:12:26,786 --> 00:12:29,054 - Have I come into contact with anything? - The cave troll 290 00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,856 opens its great mouth, 291 00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:32,824 blood dripping from its fangs. 292 00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:33,992 What do you do? 293 00:12:33,993 --> 00:12:35,327 Attack! 294 00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,528 - Roll for initiative. - Ooh, yeah. 295 00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:41,632 Roll for initiative. 296 00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:49,241 Ha! Cassandra the Sorceress goes first. 297 00:12:49,242 --> 00:12:51,510 I cast fireball at the troll. 298 00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:53,645 Oh, completely ineffective. Does not work at all. 299 00:12:53,646 --> 00:12:55,447 - What? - What? She just rolled at 19. 300 00:12:55,448 --> 00:12:58,684 The cave troll is wearing a fire resistance ring, 301 00:12:58,685 --> 00:13:00,218 so it's immune to fireballs. 302 00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:01,286 Dude, always the fire rings. It's the third campaign... 303 00:13:02,588 --> 00:13:04,523 Who makes up this... Listen to me. 304 00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:07,259 First of all, do you realize how full this game is 305 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,594 of just inaccuracies and misinformation? 306 00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:12,964 Um, my fifth edition Monster Manual begs to differ. 307 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,400 Yes, that is not... 308 00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,369 First, no self-respecting castle 309 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,804 will hide its treasure 310 00:13:18,805 --> 00:13:20,105 behind an unlocked wooden door. 311 00:13:20,106 --> 00:13:21,373 That's just amateur hour. 312 00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:23,041 And anybody that's anybody 313 00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:25,110 knows that cave trolls don't have fangs. 314 00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:28,313 They have tusks. Oh, and a fireball spell? 315 00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:31,149 Do you realize how long it takes to conjure one of those? 316 00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:35,721 Days. A paralysis spell works in half the time and is just as effective. 317 00:13:35,722 --> 00:13:37,789 People, if we're gonna do it, let's do it right. 318 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,658 I think he needs to be the Dungeon Master. 319 00:13:39,659 --> 00:13:42,094 No! Not this again. I'm the Dungeon Master! 320 00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:43,795 Dude, that was incredible. He had the paralysis... 321 00:13:43,796 --> 00:13:45,197 Listen. Wait, wait. 322 00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:46,765 Is this what you do with your days, 323 00:13:46,766 --> 00:13:48,333 just sit in this cellar and play this game? 324 00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:51,303 What is wrong with you? 325 00:13:51,304 --> 00:13:53,672 Dude, you've been acting like a total psycho. 326 00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:57,275 - Yeah, ever since you found that book. - I... 327 00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,777 Book? What book? 328 00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,846 Seriously, do you not remember a single thing? 329 00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:02,080 Did you get hit in the head? 330 00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:03,482 Yeah, really hard. What book? 331 00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,450 The one you got online from the rare bookshop 332 00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,119 that was being liquidated. 333 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,787 You wouldn't stop talking about it. 334 00:14:08,788 --> 00:14:11,022 You kept on saying how it would make a kick-ass monster manual. 335 00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:13,625 It looked a little bit strange to be a monster manual, if you ask me. 336 00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:15,127 Wait, wait, what did it look like? 337 00:14:15,128 --> 00:14:17,195 - I can probably look it up. - What? 338 00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:20,397 One second. Ah! 339 00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:26,371 That's no monster manual. 340 00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,774 That's the Asmodeus Grimoire. 341 00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:30,841 It's the most dangerous book in the world. 342 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,544 Asmodeus Grimoire? 343 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,313 Jeff, what are you talking about? 344 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,248 He bought the book. He didn't know what it was. 345 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,616 Then he found out what it was, 346 00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,518 and he used it to exchange places with me, 347 00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,420 not understanding the consequences. 348 00:14:47,421 --> 00:14:48,721 Jeff, you're scaring me. 349 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,323 I've gotta break into the Library, 350 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,891 find the book if he still has... 351 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,293 how do I break into the Library? 352 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,863 Oh. Secret entrances. 353 00:14:56,864 --> 00:14:58,197 I can't do that without help. 354 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,531 I've got to... 355 00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:03,936 Get up. Let's go. 356 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,238 - What? - Let's go. 357 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,439 Up. Out. Mush. 358 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,740 - Where are we going? - Just go. 359 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,609 - What about the game? - Don't worry about it. 360 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,777 I promised my wife I was gonna stop at the Bed, Bath, & Beyond. 361 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,146 Yes, yes. I don't know what that is, but it's gonna have to wait. 362 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,282 Come on. Go. Go. Get in the car. 363 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,217 Jeff, please. 364 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,585 I'm not going another step further 365 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,187 until you tell us what's going on. 366 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,722 Yeah! And what about the game? 367 00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:27,626 Okay, this is going to sound ludicrous to you, but... 368 00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,130 I'm not your friend Jeff. 369 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,332 I am in reality Jenkins, 370 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568 also known as Galahad, Knight of Camelot, 371 00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,937 and Caretaker to the magical Library, 372 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,572 which happens to be real. 373 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,007 The book that your friend bought 374 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,009 was not a toy, nor a fake. 375 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,777 It was an authentic spellbook 376 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:49,215 which he used to exchange bodies with me, 377 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,750 apparently because he was obsessed with me, 378 00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:54,253 but when he did so, he also unknowingly 379 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:58,391 released very powerful evil forces 380 00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:01,127 that could wreak havoc, 381 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,529 and we must stop it before it's too late. 382 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,400 - Okay. - Makes sense. 383 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,535 - Totally. - That's it? 384 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,438 No... "That's the craziest thing we've ever heard, dude"? 385 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,273 Yeah. No, we figured something like this was going on. 386 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,908 Yeah, it's just like that D&D module, 387 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,877 "The Sinister Body Snatchers of Boldovia." 388 00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,678 When do we start? 389 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,849 Uh, now. Let's start now. 390 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,485 Front entrance to the Library is impenetrable, 391 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,388 protected by an elaborate security system. 392 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,957 There is, however, a back door, 393 00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:32,558 but to gain access to it, 394 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,027 one must first pass through a series 395 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,262 of booby-trapped chambers, 396 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,497 each more deadly than the last. 397 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,166 If you know so much about it, 398 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,534 why can't you just waltz in? 399 00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:43,436 Yeah, why do you need us? 400 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,937 Because the chambers were designed 401 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,272 to prevent a single individual 402 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,340 from gaining access. 403 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,341 It takes teamwork. 404 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,177 But you know about the booby traps, right? 405 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,945 You can get us past the booby traps. 406 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,048 No, the chambers are constantly self-reconfiguring, 407 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,584 the puzzles inside, chosen by the Library itself. 408 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,386 I have no idea what we'll face. 409 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,922 - Wow. - All of you must help me 410 00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,256 get to the back door. 411 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,458 In order to do this, 412 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,659 you must be trained 413 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,127 in the way of the Librarians. 414 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,363 You must become greater than yourselves. 415 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,565 You're going to turn us into Librarians? 416 00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,900 No, that would take a miracle. 417 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,135 Let's begin. 418 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,845 A Librarian must make friends with danger, 419 00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:28,180 must learn to fight with his, or her, 420 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,749 body and mind. 421 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,763 A Librarian is more than a person. 422 00:17:43,764 --> 00:17:47,033 A Librarian is a shining beacon, 423 00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:51,437 reminding us of the best humanity has to offer. 424 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,639 Everything hurts. 425 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,242 Why did you make us do that? 426 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,477 - That was grueling. - Hmm. 427 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,379 What are you doing over there? 428 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,947 Yeah, come on. Join us. 429 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:05,351 Have some of my famous home-brewed mead. 430 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,220 It's cheap wine mixed with Shasta cola. 431 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,922 - Ignore her. - It's so good. 432 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,090 You'll love it. 433 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,259 It's been a very long time 434 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,694 since I partook in spirits. Hmm? 435 00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,230 Good stuff, huh? 436 00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,470 No, not at all. 437 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:31,911 So are you honestly gonna sit there and not tell us about Camelot? 438 00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:34,714 We're D&D nerds. Spill. 439 00:18:34,715 --> 00:18:37,016 Come on, what was Arthur like? 440 00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,217 Bossy. 441 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,720 A bit vain, but a good king. 442 00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:43,289 Was Merlin as cool as we think he is? 443 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,558 - Cooler than you can imagine. - Aww! 444 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,860 To be a Knight of the Round Table. 445 00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,829 I bet it was a lot like this, right? 446 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,199 Just sitting around, drinking mead, 447 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,767 telling tales of glory. 448 00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:58,237 Well, I don't know so much about that. 449 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,272 I stayed to myself a lot. 450 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,640 But you're Galahad, 451 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,275 the finder of the Holy Grail, 452 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,543 nicknamed the "Perfect Knight." 453 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,113 But also the illegitimate son of Lancelot, 454 00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,714 not of true noble birth. 455 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,282 I always felt different than the others, 456 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,884 even after joining the Library. 457 00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:15,721 I'm neither Librarian nor Guardian. 458 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,223 It's... 459 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,426 sort of on the outside looking in. 460 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,995 I know what you're talking about. 461 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,296 I grew up an Army brat, 462 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,966 so we moved eight times in 12 years. 463 00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:30,936 I never lived a single place long enough to call home. 464 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,539 You had it lucky. I would've killed to move. 465 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,740 Beats sticking around, being picked on 466 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,375 by all the beautiful people. 467 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,878 Try dealing with a family of overachievers. 468 00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:41,380 Do you know what it was like during Thanksgiving? 469 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,848 I was invisible. 470 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:46,152 To the outcasts. 471 00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:48,854 Long may they reign. 472 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,255 Huzzah. 473 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,226 I will never drink wine and Shasta again, 474 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,361 that's for sure. 475 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,096 Do you guys think this is too much? 476 00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,267 Maybe I should go home and change Ag... 477 00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:00,166 No, stop it. You've already changed twice. 478 00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,734 No, no, no, no, honey. We shouldn't be late. 479 00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:02,968 I'm just gonna break into the Magical Castle and... 480 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,437 Hang up! 481 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,872 We need to focus. 482 00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:20,319 Come. We have to enter here to gain access to the underground chambers. 483 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,720 Where? The tree? 484 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,359 Run directly into it. 485 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,694 It will transport you there. 486 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,129 It's an invisible door, 487 00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,231 just like the train station in Harry Potter. 488 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,866 Love it. 489 00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,701 - Now that... - Uh! 490 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,703 Aurora, are you okay? 491 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:41,006 Please tell me one of you guys got a picture of that. 492 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,174 That was awesome! 493 00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:46,478 The entrance is here. 494 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,347 Get behind me. 495 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,914 Follow me in. 496 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,720 Now that was awesome. 497 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:58,690 - Whoo! Yeah! - Oh, my God! 498 00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:05,730 The door down there will take us to the second chamber. 499 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:14,173 Tell me that did not just come up out of the floor. 500 00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:19,144 Interlocking pieces, like part of a jigsaw puzzle. 501 00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,847 So if we solve it, then we can cross. Awesome. 502 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,649 Oh, well, I know puzzles 'cause I do them 503 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,884 - with my kids all the time. - Wait! Don't... 504 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,521 What was that? What was that? What was that? 505 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:32,224 You set off one of the booby traps. 506 00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,926 - Sorry. - Each wrong move 507 00:21:33,927 --> 00:21:36,629 makes the chamber collapse a little more. 508 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,162 What are we gonna do now? 509 00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:53,315 - Awesome. - Hello, Jenkins. 510 00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:58,687 Oh, well, if it isn't my favorite math whiz/ synesthete/tumor survivor. 511 00:21:58,688 --> 00:22:00,389 What's happenin', Red? 512 00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:03,559 I just found this scroll I need translated for an upcoming mission. 513 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,261 I couldn't find Stone, so I thought maybe you could help me. 514 00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:09,098 You w... you want me to Tran... translate? 515 00:22:09,099 --> 00:22:11,967 Yeah. It's just a mix of Sumerian 516 00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:14,770 and seventh-century archaic Latin. 517 00:22:14,771 --> 00:22:17,506 Should be a breeze for you. After all, you are Jenkins. 518 00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:18,874 Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. 519 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:21,810 Uh-huh, what... Did you... Did you hear that? 520 00:22:21,811 --> 00:22:23,245 Did you hear someone calling for me? 521 00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:24,947 I think I heard... Yeah, I'll be right there! 522 00:22:24,948 --> 00:22:27,249 Translate the scroll, Jenkins. 523 00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,818 Oh, sure. Yeah, not a problem. Not a problem. 524 00:22:31,321 --> 00:22:32,855 Boy, they... 525 00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:35,324 sure make the font small on these things, huh? 526 00:22:35,325 --> 00:22:37,025 Okay. Um, 527 00:22:37,026 --> 00:22:41,897 inter-way... is-yay... oming-cay. 528 00:22:41,898 --> 00:22:43,699 - Pig Latin. - I knew it. 529 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,401 - I knew you were a fake. - What did you do with Jenkins? 530 00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:46,468 Oh, please don't hurt me. 531 00:22:46,469 --> 00:22:48,303 Tell us or we feed you to Nessie. 532 00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:51,707 No, please. Wait, the Loch Ness Monster's here? 533 00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,209 - Start talking. - Okay, all right. 534 00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:56,044 Um, um, uh-uh... 535 00:22:56,045 --> 00:22:58,013 Okay, my name is Jeff Peppers. 536 00:22:58,014 --> 00:23:00,015 I'm a 28-year-old tech from Circuit Town. 537 00:23:00,016 --> 00:23:01,617 I found a book with magic in it, 538 00:23:01,618 --> 00:23:03,051 and I used it to swap places with Jenkins. 539 00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:04,787 That's the book I was telling you about. 540 00:23:04,788 --> 00:23:06,221 I didn't mean to hurt anybody. 541 00:23:06,222 --> 00:23:07,723 I just wanted to... 542 00:23:07,724 --> 00:23:09,291 rent him for a little while. 543 00:23:09,292 --> 00:23:10,993 You know, honestly, I'm a really good guy. 544 00:23:10,994 --> 00:23:12,861 If you guys ever find yourself out by Circuit Town, 545 00:23:12,862 --> 00:23:14,229 pop on in. I'll give you a discount. 546 00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:16,298 Well, on anything other than Apple products 547 00:23:16,299 --> 00:23:17,833 'cause, you know, they don't really give me that kind of pull... 548 00:23:17,834 --> 00:23:20,335 Where's this book? 549 00:23:20,336 --> 00:23:21,737 It's just over here. 550 00:23:21,738 --> 00:23:23,639 I hid it underneath one of your end tables, 551 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,274 which are beautiful, by the way. 552 00:23:25,275 --> 00:23:26,708 Just show us the book. 553 00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,144 Yeah, no, there it is. See? No harm, no foul. 554 00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:36,617 What is that? Are those hoof prints? 555 00:23:47,096 --> 00:23:49,131 We've been staring at this forever. 556 00:23:49,132 --> 00:23:50,933 There has to be a way to figure this out. 557 00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:53,601 - Well... - I know this. 558 00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:56,805 - Uh... - Schmidt, what are you doing? 559 00:23:56,806 --> 00:23:58,073 Yeah, man, don't play around. 560 00:23:58,074 --> 00:24:01,276 Twenty pieces, each a triangle. 561 00:24:01,277 --> 00:24:04,813 Twenty pieces. Twenty triangles. 562 00:24:04,814 --> 00:24:06,615 Mr. Schmidt, we cannot afford any mistakes. 563 00:24:06,616 --> 00:24:09,283 Trust me, guys. I got this. 564 00:24:26,369 --> 00:24:29,171 It's an icosahedron. How did you know that? 565 00:24:29,172 --> 00:24:33,108 It's the one shape every D&D player in the world knows. 566 00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,478 20-sided die. Roll for initiative, bitches. 567 00:24:36,479 --> 00:24:38,881 - That was awesome! - Dragon's fire, bro! 568 00:24:38,882 --> 00:24:41,115 Dungeon Master, bro! 569 00:24:42,785 --> 00:24:44,919 Mr. Schmidt. 570 00:24:47,257 --> 00:24:49,625 Now, we have to turn these dials 571 00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:52,226 exactly at the same time. 572 00:24:53,196 --> 00:24:56,697 One, two, three. 573 00:25:15,051 --> 00:25:16,685 This one looks fun. 574 00:25:16,686 --> 00:25:19,254 Oh, God! What is that? 575 00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:22,524 Stop, stop, stop. Just stop. 576 00:25:22,525 --> 00:25:23,992 Past intruders in the Library. 577 00:25:23,993 --> 00:25:25,961 Many have tried. None have succeeded. 578 00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:27,502 Let's get out of this chamber quick. 579 00:25:29,999 --> 00:25:34,436 Would you please stop setting off booby traps? 580 00:25:34,437 --> 00:25:38,173 What is wrong with you? Have you not seen "Indy 3: Last Crusade"? 581 00:25:38,174 --> 00:25:39,841 Oh, is that the one with Shia LaBeouf? 582 00:25:39,842 --> 00:25:41,276 No, Dennis! 583 00:25:41,277 --> 00:25:44,346 - Gimme that boom. - Excuse me? 584 00:25:44,347 --> 00:25:47,182 The tiles. It's just like "Dance Dance Revolution." 585 00:25:47,183 --> 00:25:49,885 - What? - It's this stupid dancing game 586 00:25:49,886 --> 00:25:52,387 where you step on glowing tiles 587 00:25:52,388 --> 00:25:54,122 that match a pattern. 588 00:25:54,123 --> 00:25:56,258 These tiles are glowing in a repeating pattern, 589 00:25:56,259 --> 00:25:58,126 just like the song, "Gimme That Boom." 590 00:25:58,127 --> 00:25:59,127 Watch. 591 00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:06,368 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 592 00:26:06,369 --> 00:26:08,670 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom 593 00:26:08,671 --> 00:26:11,907 Holy roly poly, it's working. 594 00:26:11,908 --> 00:26:14,109 Come on. 595 00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:16,812 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 596 00:26:16,813 --> 00:26:19,681 ♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪ 597 00:26:19,682 --> 00:26:22,017 ♪ Bang it with the bottom, gonna make ya move ♪ 598 00:26:22,018 --> 00:26:23,251 Come on, Jenkins, dance. 599 00:26:23,252 --> 00:26:25,687 - No. - But you'll die! 600 00:26:25,688 --> 00:26:27,255 Much preferred. Thank you. 601 00:26:27,256 --> 00:26:29,324 Jenkins, you'll never get your body back. 602 00:26:29,325 --> 00:26:32,394 ♪ Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that ♪ 603 00:26:32,395 --> 00:26:35,998 ♪ That, that boom, boom, boom ♪ 604 00:26:35,999 --> 00:26:39,201 ♪ We get dressed up, put on the makeup ♪ 605 00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:41,269 Go, Jenkins! It's your birthday! 606 00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:43,005 - Go, Jenkins! - Come on, Jenkins! 607 00:26:43,006 --> 00:26:45,407 ♪ I can't stop this... ♪ 608 00:26:46,609 --> 00:26:47,909 Way to go, Sir Jenkins. 609 00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:50,312 Well done. Well done. 610 00:26:50,313 --> 00:26:53,749 But any of you ever mention this, 611 00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:54,950 I will end you. 612 00:26:54,951 --> 00:26:57,118 - Okay. - Understood. 613 00:27:00,289 --> 00:27:04,125 Aurora. Now, just like before. 614 00:27:07,597 --> 00:27:10,265 - Whoa. - Where are we? 615 00:27:10,266 --> 00:27:13,001 If this is the final chamber, then where's the door? 616 00:27:13,002 --> 00:27:15,370 Maybe we did something wrong. 617 00:27:15,371 --> 00:27:18,106 Maybe we're in a dream, 618 00:27:18,107 --> 00:27:21,109 like inside the dream of some giant sentient creature, 619 00:27:21,110 --> 00:27:23,745 and when he wakes up, we'll wake up. 620 00:27:23,746 --> 00:27:24,946 Or we're in limbo, 621 00:27:24,947 --> 00:27:26,348 and we got in a huge car accident 622 00:27:26,349 --> 00:27:27,883 on the way here, and we all just died. 623 00:27:27,884 --> 00:27:30,285 - Or... - Please, please, be quiet. 624 00:27:30,286 --> 00:27:31,920 I'm trying to concentrate. 625 00:27:31,921 --> 00:27:34,122 Don't worry, Sir Jenkins. We will find a way out of here. 626 00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:35,657 Oh, God, I don't think so. 627 00:27:35,658 --> 00:27:37,793 I don't think we can dance our way out of this one. 628 00:27:37,794 --> 00:27:39,728 Hey, she's just trying to be positive. 629 00:27:39,729 --> 00:27:42,397 I was an idiot thinking I could train you as Librarians. 630 00:27:42,398 --> 00:27:43,498 It's impossible! 631 00:27:43,499 --> 00:27:45,867 And now here we are. We're stuck. 632 00:27:45,868 --> 00:27:46,968 Stuck in this room. 633 00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,104 I am stuck in this body. 634 00:27:49,105 --> 00:27:51,440 It's no use. 635 00:27:51,441 --> 00:27:52,607 Oh, God. 636 00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:54,176 It's... 637 00:27:54,177 --> 00:27:58,879 Hopeless. It's hopeless. 638 00:28:05,588 --> 00:28:06,720 Mr. Jenkins. 639 00:28:09,258 --> 00:28:11,359 There's this bedtime story I often tell my kids. 640 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,647 Oh, God. 641 00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:14,463 It... It's about a bunny 642 00:28:14,464 --> 00:28:16,865 that gets lost on his way home from the dark wood, 643 00:28:16,866 --> 00:28:19,367 and he gets so scared, so frightened, 644 00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:23,171 that he wants to just curl up in a little ball and give up. 645 00:28:23,172 --> 00:28:25,841 But then he remembers what his mother always tells him. 646 00:28:25,842 --> 00:28:29,544 No matter how dark things look, 647 00:28:29,545 --> 00:28:32,146 just keep hopping and you'll find your way home. 648 00:28:34,550 --> 00:28:35,749 Just keep hopping. 649 00:28:38,888 --> 00:28:40,122 Just keep... 650 00:28:40,123 --> 00:28:41,488 ...hopping. 651 00:28:46,929 --> 00:28:49,730 Just keep... hopping. 652 00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,269 - Yeah. - Okay. 653 00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:58,073 Just keep... hopping! 654 00:28:58,074 --> 00:28:59,907 Hopping! 655 00:29:02,145 --> 00:29:04,880 And hopping! 656 00:29:04,881 --> 00:29:07,248 Find your way home! 657 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:11,852 We made it. 658 00:29:17,226 --> 00:29:20,595 That last chamber was a test of perseverance. 659 00:29:20,596 --> 00:29:23,165 Thank you, Dennis. 660 00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:26,500 And thank you all for bringing me this far. 661 00:29:28,004 --> 00:29:31,072 But here is where we must part. 662 00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:33,308 You mean, we can't go in? 663 00:29:33,309 --> 00:29:36,411 No. The Library must stay a magical secret place. 664 00:29:36,412 --> 00:29:37,979 It cannot be shared with the public, 665 00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:40,816 despite what your friend Jeff thinks. 666 00:29:40,817 --> 00:29:42,717 Go to his house, 667 00:29:42,718 --> 00:29:44,486 and if all turns out well, 668 00:29:44,487 --> 00:29:46,820 you'll soon have your friend back to normal. 669 00:29:54,263 --> 00:29:55,829 May I borrow your sword? 670 00:29:57,433 --> 00:30:00,334 Would you three take a knee, please? 671 00:30:03,573 --> 00:30:06,341 In the name of the ancient gods, 672 00:30:06,342 --> 00:30:08,076 and to all the ancient kings, 673 00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:12,247 I dub thee three honorary knights of Camelot. 674 00:30:12,248 --> 00:30:14,315 Rise, knights. 675 00:30:18,588 --> 00:30:23,058 I have fought beside the greatest of warriors, 676 00:30:23,059 --> 00:30:24,992 but none braver than you. 677 00:30:30,766 --> 00:30:32,500 Now, go. 678 00:30:32,501 --> 00:30:35,536 I have an evil book I must find. 679 00:30:53,422 --> 00:30:56,958 Mr. Stone. Mr. Stone. 680 00:30:56,959 --> 00:30:59,694 Ezekiel. Cassan... 681 00:30:59,695 --> 00:31:01,863 Colonel? 682 00:31:01,864 --> 00:31:02,964 Colonel. Colonel. 683 00:31:13,111 --> 00:31:15,378 Show yourself! 684 00:31:18,516 --> 00:31:20,217 Oh, thank God. 685 00:31:20,218 --> 00:31:21,785 I thought that thing was back. 686 00:31:21,786 --> 00:31:23,053 You thief! 687 00:31:23,054 --> 00:31:24,497 Oh, crap. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 688 00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:25,898 You stole my body! 689 00:31:25,899 --> 00:31:27,767 Yes, yes, I did, but it was just for a little while. 690 00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:29,235 I promise I was going to give it back. 691 00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:30,570 - Liar! - No, I'm telling the truth. 692 00:31:30,571 --> 00:31:31,871 I told the Librarians about the book, 693 00:31:31,872 --> 00:31:33,739 and I was taking them to find it 694 00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,742 when this monster, it came out and it attacked us, and I hid. 695 00:31:36,743 --> 00:31:38,878 You think that was bad? Wait till I get hold of you! 696 00:31:38,879 --> 00:31:40,213 - Please, please, please. - How dare you! 697 00:31:40,214 --> 00:31:42,248 Stop! Just stop. Please, please stop. 698 00:31:42,249 --> 00:31:44,217 I screwed up. I used the book, 699 00:31:44,218 --> 00:31:45,618 and I got in way over my head. 700 00:31:45,619 --> 00:31:47,286 I didn't mean for any of this to happen. 701 00:31:47,287 --> 00:31:51,122 I'm so sorry. 702 00:31:55,529 --> 00:31:59,599 That thing. What was that? 703 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,869 That is Asmodeus, one of the Seven Princes of Hell. 704 00:32:03,870 --> 00:32:07,940 Centuries ago, Merlin entrapped him in that spellbook. 705 00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:09,909 But by you using it, you unknowingly 706 00:32:09,910 --> 00:32:12,845 released him back into the world. 707 00:32:12,846 --> 00:32:16,148 - Your friends, are they... - They're... 708 00:32:16,149 --> 00:32:17,516 They'll be fine. 709 00:32:17,517 --> 00:32:20,019 It's just a form of hibernation. 710 00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:24,423 Asmodeus' power is limited for now, but I must find him. 711 00:32:24,424 --> 00:32:26,692 I must entrap him again, and to do that, 712 00:32:26,693 --> 00:32:28,694 I must be in my own body. 713 00:32:28,695 --> 00:32:31,897 - So give me that book back. - You wanna switch back now? 714 00:32:31,898 --> 00:32:34,433 If I'm to fight a Prince of Hell, 715 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:37,503 I can't do it in this... 716 00:32:37,504 --> 00:32:40,239 short, slightly overweight body. 717 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,309 I need to be in my own skin. 718 00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:46,587 - But I like being you. - Jeff! 719 00:32:46,588 --> 00:32:48,914 You saw my life. You saw how much it sucks. 720 00:32:48,915 --> 00:32:51,883 I mean, I live in my mother's basement, for Christ's sake. 721 00:32:52,619 --> 00:32:55,988 My life is not yours to take. 722 00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:57,923 I know. I know. 723 00:32:57,924 --> 00:32:59,125 It... It... 724 00:32:59,126 --> 00:33:01,427 It's just... 725 00:33:01,428 --> 00:33:04,664 You had to be me for a couple of days. 726 00:33:04,665 --> 00:33:06,331 I have to be me forever. 727 00:33:12,372 --> 00:33:15,641 Not long ago, I made a decision 728 00:33:15,642 --> 00:33:18,778 to become mortal. 729 00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:22,515 My choice. I... I did it willingly, 730 00:33:22,516 --> 00:33:25,851 but I will confess that I was not prepared 731 00:33:25,852 --> 00:33:29,088 for what it would be like to actually be human. 732 00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:32,058 And I've been struggling, truly struggling, 733 00:33:32,059 --> 00:33:34,660 with the idea of growing older, the limitations, 734 00:33:34,661 --> 00:33:36,729 and having to go into the world 735 00:33:36,730 --> 00:33:38,331 dealing with people? 736 00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:41,133 There are a lot of awful people in the world. 737 00:33:41,134 --> 00:33:43,569 Do you know that? But I think I'm coming to realize 738 00:33:43,570 --> 00:33:47,206 that I've been concentrating on the negative a little too much, 739 00:33:47,207 --> 00:33:51,544 because on the other side there are wonderful, 740 00:33:51,545 --> 00:33:55,448 amazing things in this life, in your life. 741 00:33:55,449 --> 00:33:58,284 You have phenomenally faithful friends, 742 00:33:58,285 --> 00:34:01,953 you have a loving mother, and you have food. 743 00:34:02,789 --> 00:34:04,123 Yeah, food is good. 744 00:34:04,124 --> 00:34:05,124 Food is delicious. 745 00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,559 Yeah. 746 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,227 And so there are beautiful things in life, 747 00:34:08,228 --> 00:34:11,230 in your life, and we have to embrace it all. 748 00:34:11,231 --> 00:34:13,833 Because, really, what's the point of having a life 749 00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:17,302 if one does not live it fully? 750 00:34:24,177 --> 00:34:27,646 If I have followed this recipe precisely, 751 00:34:27,647 --> 00:34:31,450 this should do the trick. 752 00:34:31,451 --> 00:34:34,520 - Ugh, it smells rank. - Eh? It... well, 753 00:34:34,521 --> 00:34:37,356 it can't be any worse than your friend Schmidt's homemade mead. 754 00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:38,823 Down the hatch. 755 00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:43,562 I could use a chaser. 756 00:34:43,563 --> 00:34:44,963 Ooh. 757 00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:49,133 Hey, what's going on? Why do I still look like you? 758 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,273 Perhaps the potion has a delayed reaction. 759 00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:57,610 Oh, okay. So what? Do we just sit here and wait it out? 760 00:34:57,611 --> 00:34:59,078 No, no, no. We have no time for that. 761 00:34:59,079 --> 00:35:01,447 For every minute Asmodeus is out there, 762 00:35:01,448 --> 00:35:02,848 he gains in strength. 763 00:35:02,849 --> 00:35:05,818 Fortunately, we have something he needs. 764 00:35:05,819 --> 00:35:08,053 When Merlin first captured Asmodeus, 765 00:35:08,054 --> 00:35:11,123 he took some of his power as a precaution 766 00:35:11,124 --> 00:35:13,726 and contained it within a gem stone 767 00:35:13,727 --> 00:35:16,162 which Merlin then hid inside the book. 768 00:35:16,163 --> 00:35:18,531 Sort of a hide-in-plain sight thing. 769 00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:21,000 So as long as I have the gem stone, 770 00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:23,736 Asmodeus will not be fully powerful 771 00:35:23,737 --> 00:35:25,336 and I can defeat him. 772 00:35:27,507 --> 00:35:28,607 There's no... Where's the gem... 773 00:35:28,608 --> 00:35:30,476 there's no gemstone. 774 00:35:30,477 --> 00:35:33,412 This gemstone, um, was it... 775 00:35:33,413 --> 00:35:37,650 kinda small, sort of a reddish color? 776 00:35:37,651 --> 00:35:40,085 - Oh, Jeff, no. - Look, I didn't know. 777 00:35:40,086 --> 00:35:41,387 It was just sitting there inside the book. 778 00:35:41,388 --> 00:35:42,555 What did you do with it? 779 00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:44,423 You know, I... 780 00:35:44,424 --> 00:35:47,560 - I s... - Sorry, you did what? 781 00:35:47,561 --> 00:35:51,063 - I sort of gave it to my mom. - You gave it to your mom. 782 00:35:51,064 --> 00:35:53,065 Look, it was her birthday, and it sort of looked 783 00:35:53,066 --> 00:35:54,967 like a cubic zirconia, so I figured, why not? 784 00:35:54,968 --> 00:35:56,502 So I just gave it to her and then... 785 00:35:56,503 --> 00:35:58,037 I just don't wanna piss her off. I mean, you know my mom. 786 00:35:58,038 --> 00:36:00,039 She can be a bit of a ballbuster, so... 787 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,442 Listen to me, Jeff. Asmodeus will be looking for that gemstone, 788 00:36:03,443 --> 00:36:04,677 so if it is with your mother... 789 00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:05,978 That's where Asmodeus is heading. 790 00:36:05,979 --> 00:36:08,514 And she and your friends are in grave danger. 791 00:36:08,515 --> 00:36:09,615 What do we do? 792 00:36:09,616 --> 00:36:11,950 We take the battle to him. 793 00:36:18,725 --> 00:36:20,860 Now, when we get inside, stay close 794 00:36:20,861 --> 00:36:22,528 be prepared for anything. 795 00:36:22,529 --> 00:36:25,163 - I'm scared. - You should be. 796 00:36:35,675 --> 00:36:38,744 Mom? Schmidt? 797 00:36:38,745 --> 00:36:41,947 - Asmodeus? - What are you... 798 00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:44,550 - You don't call for the Prince of Hell. - Right. 799 00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:56,278 Back, foul beast! Get the gemstone. 800 00:36:56,279 --> 00:36:58,447 She'll be safe without the gemstone. 801 00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:00,215 Hurry! Hurry! 802 00:37:00,216 --> 00:37:02,384 - Mom, are you okay? - What's going on? 803 00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:04,286 What's wrong with that man's face? 804 00:37:04,287 --> 00:37:05,454 Mom, I need the gemstone. 805 00:37:05,455 --> 00:37:07,055 No, tell him to get his own. 806 00:37:07,056 --> 00:37:08,957 Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 807 00:37:08,958 --> 00:37:11,126 Got it! 808 00:37:11,127 --> 00:37:12,661 Time to go! 809 00:37:12,662 --> 00:37:15,596 Bye, Mom! 810 00:37:19,569 --> 00:37:20,802 Come. Come. Come. 811 00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:22,604 We'll lure him back to the Library, 812 00:37:22,605 --> 00:37:24,806 trap him there. 813 00:37:27,210 --> 00:37:28,276 Damn it. 814 00:37:28,277 --> 00:37:29,277 Oh! To the basement. 815 00:37:29,278 --> 00:37:30,945 Go. Go. Go! 816 00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:35,384 Oh, my God, my friends. 817 00:37:35,385 --> 00:37:37,886 Oh, my God, this is all my fault. 818 00:37:37,887 --> 00:37:38,897 I did this. 819 00:37:38,897 --> 00:37:40,088 God, I'm such a schmuck. 820 00:37:40,089 --> 00:37:42,891 We don't have time for this. He will find us. 821 00:37:42,892 --> 00:37:45,260 What if we just give him back the gemstone, apologize, be like, 822 00:37:45,261 --> 00:37:47,029 "Asmodeus, we're really sorry that we took your gemstone"? 823 00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:50,132 You wanted to be a Knight of Camelot. Now is your chance. 824 00:37:50,133 --> 00:37:51,233 Fight. 825 00:37:51,234 --> 00:37:53,134 - I'm scared. - Well... 826 00:37:55,204 --> 00:37:57,972 Oh, God! No, no, no, no! 827 00:38:23,933 --> 00:38:26,133 Jeff! Get out here and fight! 828 00:38:37,113 --> 00:38:38,445 Hey, zombie face! 829 00:38:39,382 --> 00:38:40,882 You want this? 830 00:38:42,185 --> 00:38:46,221 You shall not pass! 831 00:38:48,024 --> 00:38:49,958 Okay. No, I'm just kidding. You can have it. 832 00:38:49,959 --> 00:38:50,992 You can have it. I don't want it. 833 00:38:50,993 --> 00:38:52,294 Take it, please. Just take it. 834 00:38:52,295 --> 00:38:54,128 Take it. I don't want it. 835 00:39:12,482 --> 00:39:14,048 Well done. 836 00:39:16,152 --> 00:39:17,919 You fought well. 837 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,524 Yeah. Well, it's easy when you're Galahad the brave knight. 838 00:39:22,525 --> 00:39:24,024 Take a look in the mirror. 839 00:39:25,595 --> 00:39:28,964 I did this? 840 00:39:28,965 --> 00:39:30,098 As myself? 841 00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:31,399 Like a true knight. 842 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,102 We switched back when we came through the magic door. 843 00:39:37,206 --> 00:39:38,507 Oh, I think I'm gonna puke. 844 00:39:38,508 --> 00:39:41,242 Oh. 845 00:39:42,545 --> 00:39:43,778 Jeff, is that really you? 846 00:39:43,779 --> 00:39:45,914 - Dude! - Hey, what's up, guys? 847 00:39:45,915 --> 00:39:47,749 Dude! 848 00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:51,786 Oh, my God, I have so many stories. 849 00:39:51,787 --> 00:39:53,588 It was amazing. We got knighted. 850 00:39:55,124 --> 00:39:56,224 I wasn't even scared. 851 00:39:57,894 --> 00:39:59,227 I found Poseidon's Trident. 852 00:39:59,228 --> 00:40:01,029 Jeff was roasting marshmallows with it. 853 00:40:01,030 --> 00:40:03,198 Still better than what he was doing with the Shroud Of Turin. 854 00:40:03,199 --> 00:40:05,567 Good Lord, how much damage can one man cause? 855 00:40:05,568 --> 00:40:07,669 We're just happy to have you back. 856 00:40:07,670 --> 00:40:10,939 What about you, mate? You still haven't told us what it was like. 857 00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:12,841 Yeah, it must've been awful, huh, 858 00:40:12,842 --> 00:40:14,976 hanging out with the common folk? 859 00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:19,546 Actually, you know, people aren't bad if you give 'em half a chance. 860 00:40:21,551 --> 00:40:23,318 They can be quite delightful. 861 00:40:23,319 --> 00:40:25,386 I have an appointment I have to get to. 862 00:40:26,455 --> 00:40:28,422 I think I'll drive. 863 00:40:30,626 --> 00:40:34,162 Did he just say people could be delightful? 864 00:40:34,163 --> 00:40:35,896 Wonders never cease. 865 00:40:39,468 --> 00:40:41,836 So that mind flayer? He, like, melted his brain. 866 00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:43,004 - Yeah, my favorite. - That was so good. 867 00:40:43,005 --> 00:40:44,005 I just replay that over and over. 868 00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:46,841 - Hey, Jenkins! - Jenkins! 869 00:40:46,842 --> 00:40:48,543 What's up, dude? You're just in time. 870 00:40:48,544 --> 00:40:50,645 We're just about to fight the acid-spewing black dragon. 871 00:40:50,646 --> 00:40:54,015 First of all, black dragons breathe fire. They do not spew acid. 872 00:40:54,016 --> 00:40:56,918 - He's so good. - And I brought your mom 873 00:40:56,919 --> 00:40:58,186 a nice big bag of Werther's Originals. 874 00:40:58,187 --> 00:40:59,688 - Aww, thanks. - And you know what? 875 00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:01,556 If I'm gonna continue playing with you guys, 876 00:41:01,557 --> 00:41:03,458 I need to be Dungeon Master. 877 00:41:03,459 --> 00:41:05,227 - Agreed. - What? No. 878 00:41:05,228 --> 00:41:07,128 - Dude, come on. - I'm moving. I'm moving. 879 00:41:07,129 --> 00:41:09,864 Dude, dude, I can't have you playing this game 880 00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,067 with all of these inaccuracies. 881 00:41:12,068 --> 00:41:14,869 Fine, but my character gets to have the ring of fire resistance. 882 00:41:14,870 --> 00:41:16,504 - Yes! Happening. - Another ring? 883 00:41:16,505 --> 00:41:18,306 - Ring of fire... every time. - No. It's not a real thing. 884 00:41:18,307 --> 00:41:21,743 Shh. Okay, danger. 885 00:41:21,744 --> 00:41:24,845 The moat? It is dark. 886 00:41:25,047 --> 00:41:28,115 But you must cross it. 63651

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