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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,353 - It's only a hundred. - Nothing to them. 2 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:30,960 I said I'd pay it back in six weeks. 3 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,160 Or knock it off your wages. 4 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,520 She said it would be all right. 5 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,000 Poll! 6 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,680 If he would have said "No" three weeks ago when I asked him, 7 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,160 I could have gotten the money somewhere else. 8 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,160 Ask him this morning. 9 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,560 I've asked him three times, it's embarrassing. 10 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,360 Tell him if he won't let you have it, you'll go. 11 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,160 I've got to have it this weekend. 12 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,440 Well, ask him. 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,560 Me and you practically run the bleedin' place for him. 14 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,400 Ah, Polly. Your paintings brushes. 15 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,000 - Thank you, Manuel. - Here. 16 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,440 Your change is 44p. 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,160 What's all that? 18 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,280 I make a Paella, a surprise tonight. 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,000 My mother's recipe is mm-mmm. 20 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,160 But does Terry know? 21 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,151 Perhaps Mr. Fawlty say? 22 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,640 Anything wrong? 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,240 Nothing you could do anything about. 24 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,320 Are you sure? 25 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,160 Our 15th wedding anniversary today... 26 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,600 Guess who's forgotten? 27 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,080 Oh, no. 28 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,200 I didn't think he'd forget this year. 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,960 Not after what happened when he forgot last year. 30 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,480 I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it. 31 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:37,160 I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature. 32 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,994 Still that's the way I am. We all have our cross to bear. 33 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,720 Do you know what poem that's based on, Polly? 34 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,360 - No. - Ode to Joy. 35 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,634 Hello, dear. 36 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,080 Polly, you won't forget 37 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,640 to put some more splits in the bar, will you? 38 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,680 I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil. 39 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,760 - Just reminding her, dear. - Oh, were you? 40 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,120 I thought so, yes. It sounded like it to me. 41 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,160 You don't have to worry about Polly forgetting anything important. 42 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,520 - Don't I? - No, you don't. 43 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:06,720 Good. How splendid. 44 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,600 - She doesn't forget things. - Doesn't she? 45 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,160 Can you remember the last time she did? 46 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,920 No, but then, my memory isn't very good. 47 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,400 You can say that again. 48 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,152 Can I, dear? Thank you. 49 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,280 I've forgotten what it was. 50 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,920 Don't worry, Basil... 51 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,797 Provided you can remember the things that matter to you. 52 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,600 Do I detect the smell of burning martyr? 53 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,160 Mr. Fawlty, it's your anniversary! 54 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,520 - Don't let on. - What? 55 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,160 I'm pretending I've forgotten. 56 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,000 I forgot last year and got flayed for it. 57 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,560 We've got some friends arriving in about 10 minutes 58 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,040 for a surprise drinks party. 59 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,160 Manuel's making a special Paella for tonight, 60 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,040 got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet. 61 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,160 Let's let her have a bit of a fume. 62 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,200 Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil? 63 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,160 Yes, but not as economical. 64 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,200 Hi, Mr. Fawlty, what time for the paella? 65 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,800 Er... 9:00, but, secret, eh? 66 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,153 Ah, s�, s�. 67 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,200 - Oh, Mr. Fawlty. - Hm-mmm? 68 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,040 Have you decided about the car? 69 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,160 The car? 70 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,040 The money for the car. 71 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,200 I spoke to Mrs. Fawlty. She said it was all right. 72 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,640 I don't think she quite understands 73 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,160 the cash flow situation vis-a-vis the frozen assets... 74 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,240 It's only 100. 75 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,560 I'd pay you back in six weeks. 76 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,160 Let me think about it. 77 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,200 I've got to know this weekend. They won't hold it. 78 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,840 This week? You should have told me. 79 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,160 I told you three weeks ago. 80 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,080 Look, it's my anniversary. 81 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,320 I've got friends arriving. We'll discuss it later. 82 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,560 When they get here, 83 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,160 give me a hand with the coats and drinks. 84 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,680 I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh? 85 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,160 What's this, then? 86 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,520 Good morning, Mr. Fawlty. 87 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,078 Good morning, ladies. 88 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,120 Could I have a word with you, Basil? 89 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,120 Could it wait a few minutes, dear? 90 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,235 No. 91 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,960 Is everything all right? You seem a little tense. 92 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,200 Do you know what day it is today, Basil? 93 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,960 It's the 16th today, dear. 94 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,720 It's the 17th, Basil. 95 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,560 It's the 16th today, dear. 96 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,000 It's the 17th, Basil. 97 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,149 We'll soon settle this. 98 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,800 Oh, yes, you are right. The 17th of April. 99 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,560 Well, well, well. 100 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,400 Does that stir any memories in you? 101 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,152 Memories? 102 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,029 Agincourt? 103 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,040 What? 104 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,758 Anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt. 105 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,153 Trafalgar? 106 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,600 Crecy? Poitiers? Yom Kippur? 107 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,640 Crecy? Poitiers? Yom Kippur? 108 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,520 Mr. Fawlty, Manuel says he's cooking a paella. 109 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,160 It's for Mrs. Fawlty. Anniversary... 110 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,680 - I can do paella, you know. - Yes, I know. 111 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,160 I have been to catering school. 112 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,040 Yes, but he is Spanish. I thought it would be... 113 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,960 gazpacho, chicken andaluse, eggplant espagnole, 114 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,880 Franco Fritters, I can do it. 115 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,080 Of course you can. 116 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,360 But he's wanted to do it ever since he got here. 117 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,716 I thought it would be rather nice. Just tonight. 118 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,160 I don't want to cause trouble. 119 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,440 Yes, you do. 120 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,040 Now, don't you start. I don't want an argument. 121 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,520 - No, please, please! - Be quiet! 122 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,320 I've told him I want you to do it. 123 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,040 Mrs. Fawlty, she go! 124 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,160 What? 125 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,149 She leave! She go out! 126 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,475 What? 127 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,709 Sybil? 128 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,360 Sybil! Sybil! 129 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,400 Sybil, no! 130 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,040 You don't understand! I remembered. 131 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,040 There's a party. I've invited people over. 132 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,951 It's our anniversary! 133 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,158 Everything all right? 134 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,150 Bit of a bump. Just smoothing it out. 135 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,880 Are we too early? 136 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,155 Oh, not at all. Come on in. 137 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,600 They're here! What do I say? 138 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,160 Say she's, um... 139 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,160 "She's um"? Oh, brilliant! 140 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,320 - Is a surprise party. - Yes! 141 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,920 - She no here... - Right! 142 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,956 That is surprise. 143 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,920 Hello, Bas. 144 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,920 - Say she's ill! - She's ill. 145 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,040 - What? - She's ill, Sybil. 146 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,120 What would you like to drink? 147 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,160 - Syb, ill? - Yes. 148 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,560 What's the matter? 149 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,320 Did you hear that? I said, "Syb-ill?" 150 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,120 - Yes. - Have you got it? 151 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,160 No, I'm fine. 152 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,160 No, I call her "Syb." So, "Syb-ill." 153 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,960 "Bas-well." 154 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,518 Man-well. 155 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,960 What's the matter, Basil? 156 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,200 What have you done to her, eh? 157 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,560 Roger! 158 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:46,600 She knows my name. 159 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:47,600 She's been learning it all night. 160 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,000 What's the matter, Basil? 161 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,200 Nothing. 162 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,200 With Sybil? 163 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,280 Oh, with Sybil... Quite a bit, actually. 164 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,840 Oh, dear. 165 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,240 She's fine. Absolutely fine. 166 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,240 She's feeling dreadful, but she'll live. 167 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,160 That's what counts in the long run, doesn't it? 168 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,360 I'll pop up and see her. 169 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,320 You don't want to bother. Come on, have a drink. 170 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,720 No, you go on. I'll see you in a minute. 171 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,080 No, Alice. I wouldn't actually. 172 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,960 - Let them have a natter. - No, I mustn't. 173 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,160 She's up there on her own. 174 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,680 I'm sure she'd like a little company. 175 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,440 - Uh-huh. - I know I would. 176 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,800 You wouldn't if you looked like her. 177 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,160 She's very swollen up. She's looks very... 178 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,160 You know what Sybil's like about her appearance. 179 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,360 Don't be silly. 180 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,760 She won't mind me seeing her. 181 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,320 She would. I think she would. 182 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,800 It's her anniversary. She's up there all on her own. 183 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,916 Aghh! 184 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,680 The old leg, bit of a gyp. 185 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,800 Better have a drink. Come on through. 186 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,000 Poor Basil. Let me call her. 187 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,000 What? 188 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,360 Let me call her from down here 189 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,360 and see what she says. 190 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,200 There's the phone. 191 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,280 Come on, Bas. Let's have a drink. 192 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,520 - No, please. - Come on. 193 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,800 Why not? 194 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,880 She's having a bit of a sleep. 195 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,480 She can sleep all day, Basil. 196 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,680 - She won't mind me... - But she's lost her voice. 197 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,400 - Lost her voice? - Just like that. 198 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,680 Come on. 199 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,591 Coming, Roger. After you, Alice. 200 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,160 All right, Alice... 201 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,440 What would you like to drink? 202 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,160 Gin and it, Basil. 203 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,080 Has the doctor been? 204 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,240 What's yours, Rog? 205 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,480 Gin and tonic. 206 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,160 Oh, yes, of course. 207 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,040 Basil, has the doctor been? 208 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:14,109 Er... Nuts? 209 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,320 They've had a row. She's refused to come down. 210 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,640 You were just asking about the doctor? 211 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,160 - Yes. - He hasn't been. 212 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,320 I expect we'll get him over this afternoon. 213 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,920 Well, what a shame. 214 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,600 Poor old Syb. On your anniversary, too. 215 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,080 - Hello, Polly. - Hello, Mrs. Tarry. 216 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,200 Isn't it a shame about Mrs. Fawlty? 217 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,520 Isn't it? The doctor said 218 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,160 she's going to be in bed for a couple of days. 219 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,840 The doctor hasn't actually been yet. 220 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,200 I don't know who you were thinking of. 221 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,480 But that man this morning, 222 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,680 he looked like a doctor. 223 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,440 He did, actually. That's true. 224 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,880 But he wasn't, unfortunately. 225 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,000 - He wasn't a doctor? - No, he was a dentist. 226 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,160 - A dentist? - Mm-hmm. 227 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,600 What was a dentist doing here? 228 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,080 Staying in the hotel. He's a guest, you see? 229 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,360 Dentists do stay in hotels. 230 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,591 But they don't go telling people's wives to stay in bed. 231 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,040 He must have been talking about his wife. 232 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,320 His wife? 233 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,040 Jolly good luck. Nice to see you both. Cheers. 234 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,918 - Cheers. - Up yours, Basil. 235 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,120 I hope she's better soon. 236 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,160 Yes, yes. 237 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,160 Who, Syb, or the dentist's wife? 238 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,160 Ha! Ha! 239 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,160 You're both keeping well? 240 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,480 Couldn't be better. 241 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,320 - And you, Basil? - I can't complain. 242 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,151 I could, but it wouldn't do any good. 243 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,989 No, shame. On your anniversary. 244 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,080 All comes out in the wash, doesn't it? 245 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,520 We're thinking of having this room done up. 246 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,880 - Really? - Sort of a Captain's cabin. 247 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,640 Charts on the wall, ropes, wheel in the corner, 248 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,280 - that sort of thing. - Give it a bit of class. 249 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,800 Wasn't my idea, Roger. 250 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:39,920 Poor Sybil. 251 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,920 Hello. How are you? 252 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,440 Hello, Basil. 253 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,160 Hello, Virginia. 254 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,200 - Happy anniversary. - Thank you. 255 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,200 We've brought you a little surprise. 256 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,120 Oh, can I see? 257 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,120 Oh, cake? Lovely. 258 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,480 - Jolly nice. - Did you make it? 259 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,280 Lots of extra marzipan. 260 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,320 She's not well. 261 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,200 - Sybil. - Not well? 262 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,440 She's in bed. 263 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,160 That's not like Sybil. 264 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,920 She's lost her voice. 265 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,080 - What is it? - We're not absolutely sure. 266 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,160 I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan. 267 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,560 - Roger. - Cheer her up, Bas. 268 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:13,800 Good idea. 269 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,040 We'll take her up a slice. 270 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,160 I don't think we'd better. 271 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,160 Well, why not? 272 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,440 She really ought not to be disturbed. 273 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,400 - Oh, just a minute, Basil. - It's not a very good idea. 274 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,680 What on earth's the matter with her? 275 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,160 Has the doctor been? 276 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,479 No, but the dentist's had a good look. 277 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,880 The dentist? 278 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,160 We called the doctor. 279 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,520 We described the symptoms to him over the phone. 280 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,880 He said she ought to stay very quiet... ah, Polly. 281 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,160 What would you like to drink, Virginia? 282 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,800 Medium sherry, please. 283 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,600 Mr. Fawlty? 284 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,880 What are the symptoms? 285 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,920 She's lost her voice and she's very puffed up. 286 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,160 Yes, what is it? 287 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,280 It's Terry. He being very difficult. 288 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,160 - Puffed up? - He moved my pot. 289 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,280 He put his pot where my pot is. 290 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,480 Polly, what's "puffed up"? 291 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,480 Beer for me. 292 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,000 Put your pot somewhere else. 293 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,160 I put it somewhere else, he move it again. 294 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,840 What's puffed up? 295 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:58,840 The eyes. 296 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,160 Tell him I said not to do it. 297 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,720 - What? - The eyes. 298 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,720 I tell you he want to make trouble. 299 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,153 He push mop at my feet. 300 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,400 - Her thighs. - Thighs? 301 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,240 Most of her legs, actually. 302 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,760 Just tell him. Go on. 303 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,400 Basil! 304 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,360 Polly says her legs are all puffed up. 305 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,509 Are they? 306 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,000 No, Sybil's. 307 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,840 - What? - Sybil's legs. 308 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,160 Sybil's legs? 309 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,440 Her thighs. 310 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,080 Oh, yes, just a bit. A tiny bit. 311 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,640 Mainly around the face... Around the eyes. 312 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,120 Her face is puffed up, she's lost her voice, 313 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,160 and her legs are a bit... 314 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,920 Expanded. Sad, isn't it? 315 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,800 Poor old sow. Ha! Ha! 316 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,360 When's the doctor coming? 317 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,840 Later. Soon. 318 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,160 - When? - I don't know exactly. 319 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,240 I'd better go up and have a look. 320 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,240 What? 321 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,600 - She sounds ill. - She is ill. 322 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,800 That's why we don't want people talking to her. 323 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,160 I'm not going to talk to her, Basil. 324 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,680 I'm going to look at her. 325 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,960 Look at her? She's ill, isn't she? 326 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,200 What's the bloody point of looking at her? 327 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,320 I am a nurse, Basil. 328 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,515 Oh, no! I know! 329 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,840 Did you hear that, everyone? 330 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,280 All the years that I've known old Virginia, 331 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,000 she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse. 332 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,240 You're a marvel. 333 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,440 - Please let me go. - Hmm? 334 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,560 I want to look at Sybil. 335 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,160 - Well, you can't. - Why not? 336 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,480 Because... 337 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,760 You've lost weight, haven't you? 338 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,360 Isn't that absolutely marvelous? 339 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,720 Mr. Fawlty? 340 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,160 I think you ought to tell them. 341 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,160 Oh. Right. 342 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,680 About the doctor coming this morning? 343 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,720 He came this morning. First thing. 344 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,631 Why didn't you say? 345 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,280 He didn't want to worry you. 346 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,315 I didn't want to worry you. 347 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,199 Is it serious? 348 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,000 It might be. 349 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,160 Oh, dear! 350 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,800 Not completely serious... but, slightly serious. 351 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,600 Poor Basil. 352 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,880 It's all right. 353 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,080 I'd just rather we didn't talk about it. 354 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,200 Hello everyone! 355 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,200 Hello. 356 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,428 - Hello, Basil. - Hello, Reg. 357 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,040 Sybil's not here, is she? 358 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,160 No, no. 359 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,240 I told you so. I just saw her in town. 360 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,920 What? 361 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,800 In her car. In the high street. 362 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,880 N-no, no. 363 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,160 That's another woman. 364 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,149 What other woman? 365 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,480 That woman who looks slightly like Sybil. 366 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,720 You know her, don't you? 367 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,800 Like Sybil? 368 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,600 Yes, very broad here. She's from the north. 369 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,160 Drives a red maxi? 370 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,480 Her husband does. I think she borrowed it. 371 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,360 Perhaps she stole yours? It's not out there. 372 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,360 It's in the garage, Rog. 373 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,600 - She looks like Sybil? - Yes. 374 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,600 She comes from the North? 375 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,160 She has a Northern accent. 376 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,560 I assume she's from the North. 377 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,600 You've spoken to her? 378 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,800 Mm-hmm. 379 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,920 - What's her name? - I don't know her name! 380 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,480 I only met her once. At a fete. 381 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,160 Sorry, Basil, I didn't mean. 382 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,200 No, of course. 383 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,160 By the way, where is Sybil? 384 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,160 - She's in bed. - Oh, dear. 385 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,160 She's really not well. 386 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,480 She really mustn't see anybody. 387 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,720 - What? Not at all? - No. 388 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,400 Can't we put our heads around the corner? 389 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,600 She mustn't have any excitement. 390 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,600 Oh, Basil. 391 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,960 What do you mean, "Oh, Basil"? 392 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,160 We are her oldest friends. It can only do her good. 393 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,160 We've all come over here to see you both. 394 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,240 Sorry if you've been put out. 395 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,320 You have some drinks, plenty of nuts, 396 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,680 see your old friends, have some laughs. 397 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,320 If that isn't good enough, I'll refund your petrol. 398 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,600 Steady on, Basil. 399 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,800 I'm sorry. 400 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,400 We understand. You're a bit upset. 401 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,560 Well, you know... 402 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,880 You know us well enough. 403 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,600 You should've called it off. Waited until she's better. 404 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,160 - There just wasn't time. - Wasn't time? 405 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,160 She only began to puff up about an hour ago. 406 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,000 But you said the doctor came first thing this morning. 407 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,040 Yes, that's right. That was for the throat. 408 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,160 The puffing up started after he'd gone, okay? 409 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,440 After? 410 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,160 Yes, after. Are you taking notes? 411 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,160 Where are you going? 412 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,480 I'm going to see her. 413 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,160 There is something very peculiar about all this. 414 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,680 I won't stand here while an old friend like Sybil... 415 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,080 It's perfectly Sybil. Simple's not well. 416 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,640 She lost her throat and her voice hurt. 417 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:47,880 The doctor said it was a bit serious. 418 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,640 Not a lot, a bit. 419 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,600 He went away, she started to puff up, 420 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,160 he's coming back later this afternoon, 421 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,080 and it's best for her to be on her own. 422 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,800 What is so peculiar about that? 423 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,631 Her driving around in the town. 424 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,880 What did you say? 425 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,000 Sorry, just a joke. Can I have another gin? 426 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,480 Just a joke? She's down there, 427 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,360 in town, driving around? Is that what you think? 428 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,440 Of course it isn't. 429 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,000 Obviously, I've been standing here making up 430 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,920 crackpot stories about my wife being seriously ill. 431 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160 No, of course not... It was just a bit funny 432 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,720 Kitty seeing that northern woman in the car. 433 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,920 Funny? Oh, I see. 434 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:27,120 You think that was Sybil in the car and not upstairs? 435 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,960 Oh, I understand. I've got it now. 436 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,200 What are we all waiting around here for? 437 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,120 Come on, everybody upstairs. 438 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,160 Come on. All of you. 439 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,240 No, Basil. 440 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,440 Everyone who thinks I'm a liar, come on up. 441 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,000 Of course, we don't. 442 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,880 - Hang on, old man. - Don't get like that. 443 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,160 - Come and see Sybil. - We don't want to. 444 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,840 It's best to leave her, we'll see her another time. 445 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,160 When she's feeling better. 446 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,160 - Roger wants to. - We mustn't disturb her. 447 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,080 - If Roger wants to? - He doesn't, Basil. 448 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,880 - We could just say hello. - Oh, Roger! 449 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,400 Right. All right! Fine! 450 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,400 Okay, then. Fine! 451 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,120 No problem! Suits me. Good idea. 452 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,000 I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying 453 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,400 then you can all come up and identify her. 454 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,720 - Basil! - Polly, give me a hand. 455 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,080 Help yourself to a drink. Make yourself at home. 456 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,080 Relax! 457 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,360 Any more nuts? 458 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:15,520 Any more nuts? 459 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,920 - What are you doing? - You won't have to say anything. 460 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,400 What? Oh, no. 461 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,480 - Come on. - No, no, no. 462 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,640 No! I won't. 463 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,400 Yes, you will. 464 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,480 It's easy. 465 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,550 Put on her dark glasses, and one of her wigs. 466 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,520 I'll keep them away from you. 467 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:31,880 Will you listen to me? 468 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,040 We'll draw the curtains. 469 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,240 They'd never believe I was Mrs. Fawlty. 470 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,240 Seeing is believing. 471 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,440 I don't look like her. 472 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:38,720 You're a woman, aren't you? 473 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,000 - My face is too long. - We'll shorten it. 474 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,400 You've lost your voice. All you have to do is wave. 475 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,480 Wave? 476 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,720 Put one hand up and jiggle it about. 477 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,153 You'll soon get the hang of it. 478 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,160 Mr. Fawlty... 479 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,400 I know you're very excited, 480 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,760 you might even be having a nervous breakdown. 481 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,160 I don't know. I'm no expert... 482 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,840 You must really see this isn't going to work! 483 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,440 - Get that on. - It isn't going to work. 484 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,160 What's the matter? 485 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,760 I'm not doing it! 486 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,800 You want to be in a Marx Brothers film, 487 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,640 that's your problem. I'm not interested. 488 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,160 - Not interested? - No. 489 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,680 - This is all your fault. - My fault? 490 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:08,880 You said to say she was ill! 491 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,320 You invited them to come up here. 492 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,560 They didn't even want to! 493 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,440 You be Sybil. You get into the bed. 494 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,720 I'm too big! I've got a moustache! 495 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,680 What's this supposed to be? A great big hairy bogey? 496 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,800 It's something you get when you're puffed up! 497 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,320 I'll ruin you. 498 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,680 You'll never waitress in Torquay again. 499 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,400 Waitress? That's a joke. 500 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,120 I help out at reception. I clean the rooms. 501 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,160 I deal with the tradesmen, I man the switchboard, 502 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,520 I change the fuses, 503 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,880 if you think my duties include impersonating 504 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,160 members of your family, 505 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,120 you have one more screw loose than I thought. 506 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,400 I'm not doing it. Do you understand? 507 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,994 You get yourself out of it. It's nothing to do with me. 508 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,313 100 for the car. 509 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,673 All right. 510 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,400 - Now! - What? 511 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,435 - Now! - Now? 512 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,520 Hello. 513 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,160 - Is not possible. - What? 514 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,800 Is not possible for me. Please come. 515 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,640 - What is it? - It's Terry. Please come. 516 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,240 He tell me I not know how to make a paella. 517 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,160 - He tell me... - You tell him... 518 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,960 I tell him paella is Spanish, 519 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,760 not cockney stinking eel pie! 520 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,080 I make Paella like my mama... 521 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,160 I'm not interested. 522 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,240 My mama's recipe is big in Barcelona. 523 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,040 - Go away. - Please, you come! 524 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,080 He called me ignorant wog motherboy crump. 525 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,120 Let go of me. 526 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,520 - Basil? - Yes? 527 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,320 You tell Terry... let you alone. 528 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,520 - Basil? - Yes, Reg. 529 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,800 Go on. Go away. 530 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,160 Not you, Reg. 531 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,200 Is big in Barcelona. 532 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,120 Are we supposed to come up now? 533 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,348 In a moment, Reg. 534 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,075 No, come on up now. 535 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,040 She's just touching up the worst bits. 536 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,120 How is she feeling? 537 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,760 I woke her and told her that you'd come over 538 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,680 and she's very pleased. 539 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,590 But she's very weak and her throat... 540 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,078 She has great difficulty expressing herself. 541 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,638 Makes a change. 542 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,160 She'll be out to see you in a moment. 543 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,280 She's pretty quick with the ol'... 544 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,120 She's not bothering to make up for us, is she? 545 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,156 No, no, no. Just, you know... 546 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,160 She asked me to thank you and to say how very much 547 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,360 she's looking forward to seeing you all. 548 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,160 That's nice. 549 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,760 She can speak a little, then? 550 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,280 Not really, no. I see what you mean. 551 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,160 She wrote that down on one of the postcards 552 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,480 that she keeps by the side of the bed. 553 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,595 Did she stamp it? 554 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,360 Do you have an ashtray? 555 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,720 Yes, I'll get one. 556 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,075 - There's no need to... - No bother. Just a second. 557 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,155 Mr. Fawlty! 558 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,640 He put mince in it. He put bloody mince in it. 559 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,800 Look what you've done! 560 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,920 Sorry! Sorry! 561 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,400 I tell him paella is fish dish. 562 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,160 - Go away! - What I do? 563 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,991 Arriba! Vamoose! 564 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,160 This is fun, isn't it? 565 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,680 Roger! 566 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,160 Who wants to go to the boozer or play golf, 567 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,320 when you can come to one of Basil's do's? 568 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,240 Come on, Roger. 569 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,840 It can't be easy for him with Sybil lying there ill. 570 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,160 You know what I think about that? 571 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,240 What? 572 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,434 Shh! 573 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,160 Here we are. I brought some nuts. 574 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,160 You shouldn't have. 575 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,560 If you could just take the ashtray. 576 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,160 - Oh! - Sorry. 577 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,400 - Never mind. - I'll get some more. 578 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,400 - We've got the crisps. - I don't mind. 579 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,160 - The crisps will be lovely. - Really? 580 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,680 - Crisp, Alice? - Thank you. 581 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,840 - Arthur, would you like? - Not for me. 582 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,560 - Would you like a crisp? - Thank you. 583 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,160 Hold them a moment. I'll get a brush. 584 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,440 A "Basil brush." 585 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,160 Ha! Ha! Very good! 586 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,200 Broom, broom! 587 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,120 Roger, what did you mean? 588 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,760 They've had a row. She's refused to come down. 589 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,840 Roger! 590 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,960 He's embarrassed her into seeing us. 591 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,680 I'm not interested. 592 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,432 I'm not interested. 593 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,476 Don't you bother. Leave it to me. 594 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,758 Basil? 595 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,160 Basil, perhaps she's ready now? 596 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,400 Oh, yes. 597 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,277 Good idea. I'll just have a look. 598 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,158 Not quite. Nearly. 599 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,160 Anyone care for another crisp? 600 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,195 No, no. 601 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,120 Have you got a choc ice? 602 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,040 I'll put them there, just help yourselves. 603 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,040 Nice carpet, Bas. 604 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,760 Thank you. A bit worn now. 605 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,079 I thought that was part of the pattern. 606 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,360 Nice paper, Basil. 607 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,240 We got it to go with the carpet. 608 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,840 - To go with it? - That's right, Roger. 609 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,240 One of them will have to go. My money's on the carpet. 610 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,360 Please! 611 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:58,160 You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you? 612 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,080 I don't know if you've ever seen the molding up there... 613 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,120 Oh, dear! 614 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,720 It's all right. I'll clean it up. 615 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,160 What time's the main feature? 616 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,120 Morning, Fawlty. 617 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,400 Lovely day for a round of golf. 618 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:11,640 Morning, Major. Yes. 619 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,480 Anyone care to make up a four? 620 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,600 No, we're going to see Sybil. 621 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,960 Playing a match, is she? 622 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,880 No, she's ill. Really quite ill. 623 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,280 She should be in bed. 624 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,560 Yes, she is. We're going to see her. 625 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,800 Another lot in there with her, is there? 626 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,840 May I introduce Major Gowen, our oldest resident? 627 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,160 - Good morning, Major. - Delighted to meet you. 628 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,354 Welcome to Torquay. 629 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:35,960 How do you do? 630 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,360 She's ready now. Come on in. 631 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,271 Not you. 632 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,240 Sybil? 633 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,440 Hello darling, don't try and speak. 634 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,560 - The gang's here. - Sorry you're not well. 635 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,040 Such a shame. 636 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,320 We thought we'd come wish you happy anniversary. 637 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,480 Happy anniversary! 638 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,400 What's happened? 639 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,000 Reg has fallen over. You all right, Reg? 640 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,160 Done my ankle. 641 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,160 - Oh, dear. - You all right, Reg? 642 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,160 Careful! 643 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,880 It's so dark in here. 644 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,560 Bloody light's not working. 645 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,760 I tripped over something. 646 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,520 - Who's that? - It's me. 647 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:05,680 It's Kitty! 648 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,040 Where are you, dear? 649 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,160 Can't we have some light in here? 650 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,513 All right, hang on. 651 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,000 Okay. 652 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,320 Now the light's on we can see the screen. 653 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,160 - Oh, dear. - Are you all right, Kitty? 654 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,840 You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. 655 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,160 Come on up here. You both all right? 656 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,520 Come on round there. 657 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,760 You can see her from there. 658 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,160 Is everything all right? Here she is. 659 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,149 Hello, Sybil. 660 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,640 There's something there. I can see it moving. 661 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,960 It's a bit dark. 662 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,080 Her eyes are very sensitive. 663 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,160 She's got her glasses. 664 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,160 I'll just draw the curtains. 665 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,149 Yes, I know. Trust me, dear. 666 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,080 There we are. Is that better? 667 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,152 Happy anniversary. 668 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,320 You poor dear. 669 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,470 How are you feeling? 670 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,840 Oh, shame. 671 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,114 You're very swollen. 672 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,800 Her thighs. 673 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,040 We brought you a cake. 674 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,160 Yes. 675 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,151 Have a bit, dear. 676 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,760 15 years, eh? 677 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,159 Happy anniversary. 678 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,520 I think she's feeling a little tired now. 679 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,960 Yes, all that waving would wear anyone out. 680 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,678 Perhaps we'd better all... 681 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,640 What's in her mouth? That white stuff? 682 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,792 Just foam. From the excitement. 683 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,711 Fifteen years, eh? 684 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,600 - Aghh! - What is it? 685 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,160 I just remembered something downstairs. 686 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,640 You stay here, have a chat with Polly... 687 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,160 Sybil! Sybil! Shan't be a moment! 688 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,357 A chat? Does anyone know semaphore? 689 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,400 Hello, dear. 690 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,760 I came back for my clubs. I'm not staying. 691 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,680 Oh, aren't you? Okay. 692 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,160 What? 693 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,200 I'm sure you know best. 694 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,760 You don't even want me to, do you? 695 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,398 What's that? 696 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,400 15 years I've been with you! 697 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,800 When I think what I might have had. 698 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,870 15 years. 699 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,400 You want me to go, don't you? 700 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,152 No, but you've obviously made your mind up. 701 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,160 - I won't forget this. - Won't you, dear? 702 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,149 No, I won't. 703 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,200 I'm going now. I think it's best. 704 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,599 All right, dear. 705 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,155 Bye, Basil. 706 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,155 Cheerio, dear. 707 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,148 Drive carefully. 708 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,240 - Get well soon. - Look after yourself. 709 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,280 We'll have a little party when you're feeling better. 710 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,360 I don't like leaving you like this. 711 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:53,160 Let me just have a little feel. 712 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,800 Just to see if... 713 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,440 Don't be frightened. 714 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,760 I'm not going to hurt you. 715 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,440 I'll just feel your glands. 716 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,480 Don't be silly, Sybil. 717 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,440 Just trust me. It's for your own good. 718 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,759 Don't be silly... aghh! 719 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,240 What's going on? 720 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,440 She hit me, Basil! 721 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,480 What? 722 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,440 I was trying to examine her. 723 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,160 She lashed out. 724 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,520 Don't hit our friends. 725 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,880 I know you're not feeling 100%, 726 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:21,920 but control yourself. 727 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,160 I'm sorry, she's not herself today. 728 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,280 The doctor will be over here soon. 729 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,160 I'll give you a call, tell you what he says. 730 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,920 Anyone care for another drink? 731 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,160 We ought to be going. 732 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,513 That would be quite nice. 733 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,000 They're all the same, dear. 734 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,880 They're all the same. Believe me. 735 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,440 Oh, I know. 736 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,160 Now you forget all about it. 737 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,880 We're going to have a nice game of golf 738 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,154 and go out to dinner. 739 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,670 Did you get your clubs? 740 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,560 Awfully nice to have seen you all. 741 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,152 Thanks for coming over. 742 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,360 Not at all. 743 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:08,000 We must do this more often. When they're fit again. 744 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,040 Sorry about all the injuries. 745 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,237 Perhaps when Sybil's better, we can all get together. 746 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,000 How extraordinary. 747 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,080 We were just talking about you. 748 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,280 Basil Fawlty. We met once at a fete. 749 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,600 Let me show you where it is. 750 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,239 How is the north? Have you been there recently? 751 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,991 I'll explain everything in a moment. 752 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,760 What a coincidence. 753 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,720 She's thinking of buying one of our fridges. 754 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,600 Lovely to have seen you, 755 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,874 and sorry about the ankle. 756 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,151 Yes, keep the head back. 757 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,872 Great fun. 758 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,160 Whew. 759 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,520 Piece of cake. 760 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,158 Now comes the tricky bit. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 52412

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