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1
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It's time for America's favorite game show:
Pig in a Poke!
2
00:01:59,861 --> 00:02:03,031
Pig in a poke
It pays to be a glutton
3
00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:06,831
Pig in a poke
Oink! Oink! Oink!
4
00:02:06,991 --> 00:02:09,991
Pig in a poke
You could win all or nothing
5
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:13,501
"Pig in a poke
Oink! Oink! "
6
00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:18,711
So, let's meet our current champions:
The Griswalds.
7
00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:24,011
Here's the star of our show,
Kent Winkdale.
8
00:02:24,721 --> 00:02:27,681
Clark, it's time for your big decision.
9
00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:31,561
Will you keep what's in the poke,
or risk everything...
10
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,891
...and go for the big prize?
11
00:02:34,231 --> 00:02:37,361
Johnny, remind the folks
what they've already won.
12
00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:40,731
The super-charged Honda 750 motorcycle!
13
00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:46,321
A dream kitchen with brand new
major appliances! And for Clark...
14
00:02:46,411 --> 00:02:48,281
...the king of the family...
15
00:02:48,371 --> 00:02:51,371
...a ten-year supply of Regal Car Polish...
16
00:02:51,541 --> 00:02:54,121
...the car wax of royalty!
17
00:02:54,411 --> 00:02:59,251
First, Clark, remind our audience
who you are and what you do.
18
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:04,591
I'm Clark W. Griswald.
I'm in food additives, not preservatives.
19
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:06,381
Not preservatives!
20
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,431
What about the family?
21
00:03:10,681 --> 00:03:13,641
This is my wife, Ellen, my son,
Rusty, and daughter, Audrey.
22
00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:14,771
Hello, Ellen.
23
00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:19,231
Hi, Rusty.
24
00:03:21,611 --> 00:03:22,731
Audrey.
25
00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,961
You've won some fantastic prizes.
26
00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:41,461
Do you want to keep them...
27
00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:45,261
...or risk everything, and be a pig?
28
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:47,931
Be a pig!
29
00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:54,811
Let's keep what we have.
I love the Signore Cappuccino.
30
00:03:54,851 --> 00:03:57,351
Don't do it.
Nobody ever wins the grand prize.
31
00:03:58,651 --> 00:04:00,311
We've decided.
32
00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:02,771
Oink, oink. We'll be pigs.
33
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,651
So long, motorcycle.
34
00:04:08,491 --> 00:04:11,281
You're very brave. I wish you luck.
35
00:04:11,321 --> 00:04:15,451
Now, a fantastic surprise.
Back, by popular demand...
36
00:04:15,831 --> 00:04:19,871
...the all-time winningest family
in the history of Pig in a Poke:
37
00:04:20,171 --> 00:04:21,501
The Froegers.
38
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:27,471
The Froegers?
No one's ever beaten the Froegers.
39
00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:30,801
Mr. Froeger, tell us about yourselves.
40
00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,311
I won my Nobel Prize in 1967.
41
00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:37,021
My wife won hers in 1970.
42
00:04:37,351 --> 00:04:40,351
Our son, Moe, has just been elected
to the board of Microtech...
43
00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:42,811
...a computer software corporation.
44
00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:49,401
Our daughter, Ruth, is the youngest female
ever to be accepted at Harvard Law School.
45
00:04:50,701 --> 00:04:54,661
Good luck to all of you.
Now, let's take a look at our categories.
46
00:04:55,031 --> 00:04:56,871
Pharmacology.
47
00:04:56,911 --> 00:05:00,751
American Explorers.
Chronology of the Pharaohs.
48
00:05:01,081 --> 00:05:02,881
The Geography of the Brain...
49
00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:07,211
...and History of
Early Hungarian Cabinet Making.
50
00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:08,881
Not bad.
51
00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:12,391
Froegers, since you're the challengers,
you get to pick the first category.
52
00:05:12,891 --> 00:05:16,011
The Hungarian one.
Nobody knows anything about Hungarians.
53
00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:19,351
I don't know. Kent, we'd like
The Geography of the Brain.
54
00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:21,351
The question is:
55
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:26,271
What are the pyramidal tracts?
56
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:32,321
Five seconds.
57
00:05:32,411 --> 00:05:36,411
The pyramidal tracts are
a housing development outside of Cairo.
58
00:05:39,831 --> 00:05:41,001
Too bad.
59
00:05:44,921 --> 00:05:47,711
You're the champions
if you answer correctly.
60
00:05:48,091 --> 00:05:50,511
The pyramidal tracts...
61
00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:54,261
...are a complex of multi-synaptic
lower motor neurons...
62
00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:58,061
...which interconnect the basal ganglia
with the reticular formation.
63
00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:03,141
You said, "Lower motor neurons."
The answer is: Upper motor neurons.
64
00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:06,271
- Upper! Upper!
- Nobody wins.
65
00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:10,071
- We're still in it.
- Froegers, select another category.
66
00:06:10,691 --> 00:06:13,661
- Early Hungarian Cabinet Making.
- American Explorers.
67
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,121
American Explorers. Griswalds.
68
00:06:17,491 --> 00:06:20,411
In 1804, an expedition explored an area...
69
00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:23,711
...from the Louisiana territory
to the Pacific Coast.
70
00:06:24,461 --> 00:06:29,921
For the grand prize,
what lieutenant led that expedition?
71
00:06:30,511 --> 00:06:33,011
- I give up.
- Wait a minute, Dad.
72
00:06:33,091 --> 00:06:35,551
Quiet down! I think I got this one.
73
00:06:41,391 --> 00:06:42,561
Come on, Dad.
74
00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:44,811
Time's up. Do you have an answer?
75
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,021
- Clark!
- That's it!
76
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,611
Clark, of Lewis and Clark.
77
00:06:50,151 --> 00:06:52,991
The Griswalds are our grand prize winners!
78
00:06:57,821 --> 00:07:01,661
No, that was a mistake!
She doesn't know that.
79
00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:04,001
Come on out here!
80
00:07:18,891 --> 00:07:23,101
The Griswalds have just won
a fabulous European vacation!
81
00:07:26,351 --> 00:07:29,111
We'll fly the whole family
to London, England...
82
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:34,571
...to start a two-week vacation
extravaganza you'll never forget.
83
00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:38,991
"On to Germany, where you'll enjoy
a fine meal at Dieter's...
84
00:07:39,071 --> 00:07:43,081
"...and dance to the gay music
of Esther and the Black Forest Girls."
85
00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:47,961
- This is going to be some vacation, kids.
- Yeah, Dad.
86
00:07:48,371 --> 00:07:51,001
Rusty, give me a hand and set the table.
87
00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,511
Why can't Audrey do it?
88
00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:55,671
Because Audrey has company.
89
00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,641
- Rusty, come on!
- Wait a minute.
90
00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:03,851
Russ, obey your mother.
91
00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:08,851
I can't stand the thought of being
away from you for whole two weeks.
92
00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:10,861
It'll be like before we met.
93
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:15,401
Before we met, my life was horrible
and meaningless. Wasn't yours?
94
00:08:16,491 --> 00:08:17,821
Sort of.
95
00:08:21,491 --> 00:08:22,621
Let's light it up!
96
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,881
Audrey, please eat something.
97
00:08:32,421 --> 00:08:34,551
Everybody, listen up.
98
00:08:34,921 --> 00:08:37,551
Let's look at the map
and go over our schedule.
99
00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:42,261
The plane will fly us
from Chicago to London.
100
00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:43,931
That's Madrid, Dad.
101
00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:48,731
You're right. This must be
one of those old medieval maps.
102
00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:51,651
Dad, I made a decision.
103
00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:55,441
I can't leave Jack.
Besides, the food in Europe is fattening.
104
00:08:55,781 --> 00:08:57,821
And I like her thin. She eats too much.
105
00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:03,451
Clark, why don't you and I go alone?
It's obvious the kids don't even want to go.
106
00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:05,121
Of course they do.
107
00:09:05,451 --> 00:09:07,871
We're a family.
We're going to Europe as a family.
108
00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:11,211
- Don't we have a say in this?
- I think we should vote on it.
109
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:16,631
I can be big about this.
We'll be a democracy. Everybody votes.
110
00:09:17,461 --> 00:09:18,801
Who will be president?
111
00:09:19,131 --> 00:09:22,091
Let's vote on that.
We'll have a secret ballot.
112
00:09:22,471 --> 00:09:24,391
Write down your choice...
113
00:09:25,391 --> 00:09:26,971
...give it to your mother.
114
00:09:31,311 --> 00:09:35,271
This will be for the President
of the Republic of Griswald.
115
00:09:37,981 --> 00:09:40,611
All right, that's one for Clark.
116
00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:44,121
One for Rusty.
117
00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:48,121
One for Jack.
118
00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:52,331
One for Clark.
119
00:09:52,671 --> 00:09:55,001
That's two for Clark.
120
00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:59,461
As President of the Griswald Republic,
I move we go to Europe.
121
00:09:59,841 --> 00:10:01,471
Jack, you wait here.
122
00:10:09,681 --> 00:10:11,351
What are you doing?
123
00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:15,521
A little memento before we go away,
I just got the kids.
124
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:18,071
I don't want anyone to see me like this.
125
00:10:18,441 --> 00:10:20,491
No one will see you.
126
00:10:22,861 --> 00:10:25,821
Remember that song you did
in college in that musical?
127
00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:30,451
No, I'm not going to do that. I won't do it.
128
00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:32,161
I'm going to erase this.
129
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,921
Okay. Go over there.
130
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,301
I'm ready. Wait a minute. Okay.
131
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:42,571
Don't stop.
132
00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:49,781
Sexy. I love you.
133
00:12:06,971 --> 00:12:09,721
The Pig in a Poke itinerary is just great.
134
00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:14,431
It's down to the exact minute.
We won't miss a thing.
135
00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:18,811
Why don't we forget the itinerary
and play it by ear?
136
00:12:19,151 --> 00:12:20,771
Like normal people.
137
00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,941
We're not normal people.
We're the Griswalds.
138
00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:31,161
I saved the big surprise for last.
139
00:12:31,571 --> 00:12:32,991
We're turning around?
140
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:37,161
No, we're visiting my relatives in Germany.
141
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:39,121
Not if we don't vote for it.
142
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,841
- You'll vote for it.
- Why should I?
143
00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:44,671
Because I raised your allowance.
144
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:48,631
I think I'm going to like
this democracy stuff.
145
00:12:50,891 --> 00:12:52,431
Something to drink?
146
00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,641
- No, thank you.
- I'll have a Coke.
147
00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:58,141
Do you want that in the can?
148
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:01,481
No, I'll have it right here.
149
00:13:06,691 --> 00:13:08,361
Push "French."
150
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,951
- Give me a French word.
- Souffle.
151
00:13:12,531 --> 00:13:15,871
Souffle. All right. Push "English."
152
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:20,041
Instant translation. Souffle means...
153
00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:24,841
..."Souffle."
It's got to mean something else.
154
00:13:31,721 --> 00:13:34,511
The Lord and Lady Poncenby Smythe.
155
00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:39,181
The Lady Amelia Spicer
and the Baron von Richtshofen.
156
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:47,901
Mr. And Mrs. Clark and Ellen Griswald.
157
00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:49,901
He came.
158
00:13:53,911 --> 00:13:55,031
Wonderful.
159
00:13:56,831 --> 00:13:58,161
Hey, Chuck.
160
00:14:00,911 --> 00:14:02,251
Di.
161
00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:09,171
This is my wife, Ellen.
162
00:14:09,461 --> 00:14:11,341
Di. How are you?
163
00:14:11,591 --> 00:14:14,261
I do hope we could have the first dance.
164
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:19,431
There you go again, Di. Listen, you know
the only princess in my life is my wife.
165
00:14:19,931 --> 00:14:21,891
She gets the first dance.
166
00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:25,771
- Clark, wait.
- Sorry.
167
00:14:58,351 --> 00:14:59,971
There's Rusty!
168
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:14,021
"The hills are alive
169
00:17:14,941 --> 00:17:17,611
"With the sound of Griswald
170
00:17:19,401 --> 00:17:24,081
"This should spin around
for a very long time
171
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,291
"I'm feeling so high
172
00:17:28,411 --> 00:17:31,251
"That I just can't stand it
173
00:17:32,171 --> 00:17:35,171
"It's as though I've been here
174
00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:39,261
"For at least a week"
175
00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:51,601
The Royal lmperial Windsor Hotel.
176
00:17:59,151 --> 00:18:01,491
Want me to give you a hand with that?
177
00:18:04,571 --> 00:18:06,741
If you could just get that stuff in...
178
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,831
Carry that. I'll get the luggage out.
Rusty, we could use your help.
179
00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:15,631
I can get these bags.
180
00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:18,301
Sure I can't help?
181
00:18:22,011 --> 00:18:24,141
Ellen, do you have any money?
182
00:18:24,841 --> 00:18:26,811
- Would you pay?
- No problem.
183
00:18:27,311 --> 00:18:30,521
Camembert cheese is also produced
on a large scale...
184
00:18:30,771 --> 00:18:33,441
...molded by the thousands
in giant factories.
185
00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:41,691
Hello!
186
00:18:48,121 --> 00:18:52,461
Top of the evening. I'm Clark Griswald
from the United States of America.
187
00:18:52,871 --> 00:18:55,331
I believe we have reservations for four.
188
00:19:00,381 --> 00:19:04,511
No, you're scuppered, mate.
The place is full of macaroons.
189
00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:07,891
I could get on the dog and
blow to my mate in Whitechapel.
190
00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:10,521
Dad, he's speaking English.
191
00:19:11,471 --> 00:19:12,811
I know.
192
00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:16,061
This is from the Pig in a Poke show.
193
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:19,401
They said there'd be rooms for four
and a rental car waiting for us.
194
00:19:19,731 --> 00:19:21,531
We're the grand prize winners.
195
00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:23,901
Oink, oink! We'll be pigs!
196
00:19:25,571 --> 00:19:28,281
Oh, the Yanks. Follow me.
197
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,871
Is there anybody to help with the luggage?
198
00:19:35,331 --> 00:19:36,621
Mum!
199
00:19:39,591 --> 00:19:41,921
Kids, help me out. No, please sit.
200
00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:43,721
This is ridiculous.
201
00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:49,141
"Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated,
with private bathroom and shower...
202
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,391
"...color television, radio and telephone.
203
00:19:51,471 --> 00:19:55,441
"Deluxe accommodations at the sumptuous
Royal lmperial Windsor Arms...
204
00:19:56,101 --> 00:19:59,311
"...combines old-world charm
and modem convenience."
205
00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:03,151
Clark, does this look like
the room in the brochure?
206
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:06,571
No, I think they shot this picture
from another angle.
207
00:20:07,111 --> 00:20:09,121
It's quaint. I like it.
208
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:12,201
It'll look better after I've had a hot bath.
209
00:20:15,961 --> 00:20:17,751
Well, the bed is nice and soft.
210
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,921
- There's no bathroom.
- Of course, there's a bathroom.
211
00:20:26,971 --> 00:20:29,301
Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
212
00:20:35,811 --> 00:20:37,141
Maybe they don't.
213
00:20:40,611 --> 00:20:43,781
Call the front desk.
Something's wrong with this thing.
214
00:20:44,111 --> 00:20:46,441
We've only got four channels, and no MTV.
215
00:20:46,781 --> 00:20:48,611
That's all there are.
216
00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:00,461
Just think of it. Shopping on Bond Street.
217
00:21:00,631 --> 00:21:03,881
Bobbies. Fish and chips. Big Ben.
218
00:21:04,131 --> 00:21:07,631
Shopping on Carnaby Street.
It's going to be so romantic.
219
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:39,001
I have to warn you,
I'm feeling very naughty tonight.
220
00:21:44,841 --> 00:21:46,051
Congratulations.
221
00:21:57,851 --> 00:21:59,181
What can I do for you?
222
00:21:59,231 --> 00:22:02,731
I want a wake-up call for 7 a.m., please.
Good night.
223
00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:12,411
You're in bed, already.
224
00:22:12,491 --> 00:22:15,411
I left a wake-up call
to get an early start in the morning.
225
00:22:27,131 --> 00:22:28,051
I love you.
226
00:22:29,211 --> 00:22:33,381
I've been waiting for this.
I can't believe we're alone at last.
227
00:22:33,891 --> 00:22:35,221
Just you and me.
228
00:22:39,271 --> 00:22:40,771
I'm so horny.
229
00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:46,401
And these bubbles...
230
00:22:47,571 --> 00:22:49,071
...make me feel so...
231
00:22:50,241 --> 00:22:51,901
I feel like...
232
00:22:52,491 --> 00:22:53,821
You know.
233
00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,411
When did you stop shaving your legs?
234
00:23:03,581 --> 00:23:06,421
Why don't you just jump in here with me?
235
00:23:19,761 --> 00:23:22,891
I think I made a mistake.
Is my wife in here?
236
00:23:22,981 --> 00:23:23,941
No.
237
00:23:23,981 --> 00:23:26,981
I get confused with the numerous doors.
238
00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:29,441
- I guess this happens a lot.
- No.
239
00:23:31,781 --> 00:23:34,451
- Could you unlock your legs from my leg?
- No.
240
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,121
My right leg is asleep.
241
00:23:38,121 --> 00:23:39,781
Oh, no. Please don't.
242
00:23:40,291 --> 00:23:41,951
It's very hot in here.
243
00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:43,621
It's hot, yeah.
244
00:23:46,171 --> 00:23:49,131
I got a mild case of herpes.
I'll just get out.
245
00:23:49,791 --> 00:23:52,801
Let me just check. I've got a wake-up call.
246
00:23:54,971 --> 00:23:58,971
- You won't believe this. I was in the tub.
- I've been looking for our room.
247
00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:03,811
- This guy came in with a toothpaste tube.
- I went into this lady's room.
248
00:24:03,981 --> 00:24:06,141
- I don't know where our room is.
- It's right here.
249
00:24:06,231 --> 00:24:08,481
They don't even put numbers on the doors.
250
00:24:10,321 --> 00:24:14,491
Here's our English transportation.
Now we'll have some fun.
251
00:24:18,321 --> 00:24:20,781
- Where's the wheel?
- Other side, Dad.
252
00:24:48,691 --> 00:24:51,191
You're driving on the wrong side
of the road.
253
00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:54,861
I realize that, honey.
I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
254
00:25:09,251 --> 00:25:12,541
- I'm sorry.
- No trouble, my dear chap.
255
00:25:12,591 --> 00:25:16,091
I've had this bump for ages.
Now I have an excuse to fix it.
256
00:25:17,221 --> 00:25:18,551
I'm fully covered.
257
00:25:19,221 --> 00:25:21,391
I should thank you.
258
00:25:27,641 --> 00:25:29,351
- Very sorry, again.
- No problem.
259
00:25:32,561 --> 00:25:34,231
God, he was nice.
260
00:25:37,741 --> 00:25:39,571
It's not bad in England, huh?
261
00:25:40,071 --> 00:25:43,411
God, I must say,
the English are certainly...
262
00:25:52,921 --> 00:25:57,261
We seem to have run into a bit of trouble.
What rotten luck.
263
00:25:57,591 --> 00:26:00,431
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to get back to our hotel.
264
00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:03,601
An American! Delighted to meet you.
265
00:26:03,931 --> 00:26:05,931
Are you enjoying our country?
266
00:26:06,261 --> 00:26:08,601
If I could get the driving straight...
267
00:26:08,931 --> 00:26:11,271
Don't worry about a little thing like this.
268
00:26:11,601 --> 00:26:14,771
I was driving on the right side of the road...
269
00:26:15,111 --> 00:26:17,111
...which is the left side of the road.
270
00:26:18,111 --> 00:26:21,611
That's the whole problem.
Let me get this for you.
271
00:26:21,951 --> 00:26:23,951
I'll put it back on for you.
272
00:26:24,281 --> 00:26:27,701
Keep that.
Take it back to New York as a memento.
273
00:26:27,951 --> 00:26:30,211
Thank you very much.
That's very kind of you.
274
00:26:30,291 --> 00:26:33,421
There's another one.
Thank you. Good day.
275
00:26:45,551 --> 00:26:47,011
I got the hang of it now.
276
00:26:47,061 --> 00:26:49,141
Just stay on the right side...
277
00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:54,811
Oh, please, let me help you.
278
00:26:55,481 --> 00:26:59,441
No problem. No problem, squire.
No harm done.
279
00:27:00,191 --> 00:27:03,361
- It doesn't hurt much.
- I'll pay for the damages.
280
00:27:03,661 --> 00:27:06,321
Good heavens, no. No need for money.
281
00:27:07,831 --> 00:27:09,661
I'll be all right.
282
00:27:09,991 --> 00:27:12,831
Can I get you some help?
Get you to a phone?
283
00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:16,001
Maybe he knows how to get to the hotel.
284
00:27:16,331 --> 00:27:21,011
I hate to bother you, but we're staying
at the Royal lmperial Windsor Arms.
285
00:27:21,341 --> 00:27:24,181
Royal lmperial Windsor! Very nice hotel.
286
00:27:24,511 --> 00:27:26,511
It's a little small.
287
00:27:26,851 --> 00:27:30,851
Well, you go back the way you came,
and you keep going to...
288
00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:35,351
You've got a bad cut.
We better get you to a hospital.
289
00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:37,361
It's just a flesh wound.
290
00:27:37,691 --> 00:27:40,021
Nothing to write home about.
291
00:27:40,361 --> 00:27:43,191
- Did you say a left or a right?
- Just a left.
292
00:27:43,861 --> 00:27:45,031
Maybe it's broken.
293
00:27:45,281 --> 00:27:48,201
It's just a leg. I have got another one.
294
00:27:48,871 --> 00:27:51,541
I'll just pop into the chemist's.
295
00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:55,541
Be right as rain tomorrow.
The final isn't till Sunday.
296
00:27:56,881 --> 00:28:01,381
Sorry to bother you. You haven't seen
a bike around here, have you?
297
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:04,051
It's right here under the car.
298
00:28:04,881 --> 00:28:07,051
The tire isn't flat, so we're in good shape.
299
00:28:07,391 --> 00:28:11,471
Thanks for the directions. Sorry for
what happened. You're all right?
300
00:28:11,561 --> 00:28:14,891
- Sure.
- Drive carefully. Have a nice day.
301
00:28:19,561 --> 00:28:23,571
We just drive around this circle.
It should be the second left.
302
00:28:23,901 --> 00:28:28,241
There's the hotel. Hey, look,
there's Big Ben and there's Parliament.
303
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,911
There it is!
304
00:28:34,251 --> 00:28:38,251
I know, I can't seem to get over to the left.
I'll try next time.
305
00:28:38,331 --> 00:28:40,961
Sorry. We'll get out of this jam
in a minute.
306
00:28:41,591 --> 00:28:44,591
Kids, Big Ben, Parliament, again.
307
00:28:51,181 --> 00:28:52,431
Kids.
308
00:28:52,761 --> 00:28:55,931
- We know. Big Ben.
- Parliament.
309
00:29:00,611 --> 00:29:02,441
That son of a bitch!
310
00:29:03,271 --> 00:29:05,191
Look, kids. Forget it.
311
00:29:12,621 --> 00:29:15,791
It's amazing. I cannot get left!
312
00:29:17,961 --> 00:29:19,961
There's Big Ben, Parliament.
313
00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:35,851
"When it's time to relax
One thing stands clear
314
00:29:36,681 --> 00:29:38,851
"Beer after beer
315
00:29:39,481 --> 00:29:41,651
"If you got the time
316
00:29:42,521 --> 00:29:44,521
"We got the beer"
317
00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:49,821
"Reach out, reach out and touch someone
318
00:29:50,571 --> 00:29:54,581
"Reach out, call up and just say, 'Hi"'
319
00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:57,161
What's the matter?
320
00:29:57,501 --> 00:30:01,331
I can't stand it.
I'll never make it through two weeks.
321
00:30:01,501 --> 00:30:02,751
Two weeks is nothing.
322
00:30:02,831 --> 00:30:06,801
It's 14 times as long as yesterday,
and yesterday lasted...
323
00:30:07,511 --> 00:30:09,171
...an eternity.
324
00:30:10,011 --> 00:30:11,471
Why don't you call him?
325
00:30:11,681 --> 00:30:13,971
- Are you crazy?
- What could happen?
326
00:30:14,051 --> 00:30:16,511
Dad could rip out my tongue, that's what.
327
00:30:17,351 --> 00:30:20,191
He wouldn't even notice
if you kept it short.
328
00:30:20,851 --> 00:30:24,191
Okay, I'll just say hello
and good-bye. Short.
329
00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:28,191
I wonder if anything good's on TV.
330
00:30:30,701 --> 00:30:33,031
Should I watch cheese or snow?
331
00:30:34,071 --> 00:30:36,031
- Hello?
- Hello, Jack.
332
00:30:37,041 --> 00:30:39,541
Oh, God, Jack, I miss you so much.
333
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,791
- Do you miss me?
- Yes.
334
00:30:41,871 --> 00:30:43,211
- Really?
- Yes.
335
00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:46,211
I miss you so much it hurts.
336
00:30:47,211 --> 00:30:48,961
- I got to go.
- What?
337
00:30:49,051 --> 00:30:51,551
- I have to eat.
- Your mom's calling you to dinner?
338
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:53,551
Okay, I'll hold.
339
00:30:55,391 --> 00:30:59,221
- Can we stop? I'm hungry.
- Yeah, Dad. Rusty's hungry.
340
00:30:59,351 --> 00:31:01,181
We've got a schedule to keep.
341
00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:15,741
That's it!
That's the way I want my hair cut!
342
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,581
You don't want to look like a rooster,
do you?
343
00:31:18,911 --> 00:31:22,711
There's Buckingham Palace,
where the Queen lives and works.
344
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:24,421
Works? What does she do?
345
00:31:24,621 --> 00:31:26,581
She queens and vacuums.
346
00:31:32,761 --> 00:31:34,761
We'd like to check out, please.
347
00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:38,261
Yeah, Mr. Greaseball.
348
00:31:38,601 --> 00:31:40,771
Let's tally up your bill.
349
00:31:41,101 --> 00:31:43,771
Will we really have time
to see Stonehenge?
350
00:31:44,101 --> 00:31:47,021
No problem.
I've calculated the driving time.
351
00:31:47,271 --> 00:31:49,691
If we skip lunch,
we'll make the plane to Paris.
352
00:31:49,771 --> 00:31:52,281
I'm sick of English food. I feel like a blimp.
353
00:31:52,611 --> 00:31:53,951
You look fine.
354
00:31:54,281 --> 00:31:57,951
Don't I just sign?
Pig in a Poke takes care of this.
355
00:31:58,281 --> 00:32:02,791
- It does not include the telephone bill.
- We just made a couple of local calls.
356
00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:06,961
That will be...
357
00:32:08,461 --> 00:32:10,301
...$253 American.
358
00:32:10,631 --> 00:32:13,171
- You're mistaken.
- How could that be?
359
00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,641
Who the hell called Chicago?
360
00:32:27,481 --> 00:32:31,441
Audrey, your father
didn't really mean what he said.
361
00:32:31,521 --> 00:32:32,821
Yes, he did.
362
00:32:32,861 --> 00:32:35,491
Not really, honey.
He has nothing against Jack.
363
00:32:36,151 --> 00:32:39,821
He's not really going to cut off his balls.
Are you, Clark?
364
00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:45,331
Okay, I won't.
365
00:32:46,161 --> 00:32:48,671
Let's relax and enjoy the countryside.
366
00:32:50,041 --> 00:32:53,761
This country is eons old, kids.
That's centuries, to you and me.
367
00:32:54,591 --> 00:32:55,921
Charming, isn't it?
368
00:32:56,671 --> 00:32:58,341
It looks like Massachusetts.
369
00:32:58,591 --> 00:33:03,261
It stands to reason. The English settled
Massachusetts. The old pilgrims.
370
00:33:04,851 --> 00:33:07,351
Plymouth Rock. That's where it started.
371
00:33:07,691 --> 00:33:10,361
And speaking of rocks...
372
00:33:11,861 --> 00:33:14,691
See that? That's Stonehenge. Fantastic.
373
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:24,701
What the hell is this?
374
00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:29,371
Nobody knows for sure. Some think
it's a calendar or an astronomer's tool.
375
00:33:29,711 --> 00:33:32,211
Others think it was built
by men from outer space.
376
00:33:32,541 --> 00:33:37,051
The consensus is that it's
an ancient timepiece built by the Druids.
377
00:33:37,381 --> 00:33:39,261
Whatever, it's been here a long time.
378
00:33:39,341 --> 00:33:41,511
Since 2,000 years before Christ.
379
00:33:43,561 --> 00:33:45,561
It's bound to be here 1,000 more.
380
00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:52,901
Stand over there.
Act like you're setting your watch.
381
00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:57,071
This must be where they sacrificed virgins.
382
00:33:58,741 --> 00:34:00,411
God, I miss Jack.
383
00:34:00,911 --> 00:34:03,581
We've got to go
if we want to catch that plane.
384
00:34:04,781 --> 00:34:05,951
You're right.
385
00:34:07,291 --> 00:34:08,461
Let's go, Russ!
386
00:34:09,711 --> 00:34:10,871
Come on!
387
00:34:16,751 --> 00:34:18,591
Take a last look, kids...
388
00:34:19,261 --> 00:34:22,341
...at one of man's most curious creations.
389
00:34:24,261 --> 00:34:27,221
Built to stand the test of time
and the elements.
390
00:34:27,601 --> 00:34:30,101
War. You name it.
391
00:34:31,641 --> 00:34:34,861
A thing of glory
for a million future generations to see.
392
00:34:36,271 --> 00:34:37,941
And we were here.
393
00:35:06,181 --> 00:35:09,521
Gay Paris. The City of Lights.
394
00:35:10,811 --> 00:35:15,481
This is the famous Left Bank.
Can you guess what's on the other side?
395
00:35:15,811 --> 00:35:17,481
The Bank of America.
396
00:35:23,661 --> 00:35:26,321
Everybody, get closer to the fountain.
397
00:35:26,661 --> 00:35:29,911
If we get any closer, we'll get all wet.
398
00:35:30,161 --> 00:35:32,251
It'll be a good shot.
399
00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:36,001
The Griswalds in front of a fountain.
Major entertainment.
400
00:35:36,331 --> 00:35:38,671
Russ, get in the middle.
401
00:35:39,841 --> 00:35:43,171
Let me take it.
You haven't been in any of them.
402
00:35:44,511 --> 00:35:46,341
I got a good idea.
403
00:35:46,551 --> 00:35:48,261
Monsieur, excusez-moi.
404
00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:51,561
Clark Griswald. United States of America.
405
00:35:52,351 --> 00:35:54,941
My family and I.
Would you take a picture of us?
406
00:35:55,021 --> 00:35:56,351
Je ne comprends pas.
407
00:35:56,861 --> 00:35:58,861
Could you photograph us?
408
00:36:01,731 --> 00:36:03,401
- Oui, oui.
- Merci.
409
00:36:08,661 --> 00:36:10,661
- Le bouton.
- Poussez.
410
00:36:11,241 --> 00:36:13,201
Okay, Russ, get over here.
411
00:36:22,631 --> 00:36:24,131
Fromage!
412
00:36:25,471 --> 00:36:26,971
Non fromage, cheese!
413
00:36:30,561 --> 00:36:34,061
Une idee! Enlevez les chaussures
et dans la fontaine.
414
00:36:34,431 --> 00:36:36,441
Merveilleux, oui!
Les shoes, dans I'eau, vous.
415
00:36:37,401 --> 00:36:40,571
Yeah! Let's take off our shoes
and get in the water.
416
00:36:41,071 --> 00:36:43,231
Yeah, okay. It's fun.
417
00:36:43,781 --> 00:36:44,611
Tres bien!
418
00:36:58,881 --> 00:36:59,881
Cold!
419
00:37:02,631 --> 00:37:04,591
Parfait! Impeccable.
420
00:37:12,601 --> 00:37:17,271
Clark, there isn't anything on that tape
that shouldn't be there, is there?
421
00:37:17,601 --> 00:37:19,061
They took my camera!
422
00:37:19,941 --> 00:37:24,611
There isn't anything on that tape
that shouldn't be there? Remember?
423
00:37:24,861 --> 00:37:27,111
That's gone, right? You erased it?
424
00:37:27,451 --> 00:37:29,201
Yeah, I erased it.
425
00:37:30,621 --> 00:37:32,951
We'll check in and come back for the cases.
426
00:37:42,671 --> 00:37:45,171
Here we are, kids. Chez Griswald.
427
00:37:47,381 --> 00:37:49,761
We have a reservation
for the honeymoon suite.
428
00:37:49,841 --> 00:37:51,971
Mr. And Mrs. Garland.
429
00:37:56,311 --> 00:37:58,981
Clark, look. They must be honeymooners.
430
00:37:59,101 --> 00:38:00,941
Either that or they're Siamese twins.
431
00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:03,481
That's how Jack kisses.
432
00:38:07,321 --> 00:38:08,821
Are you from America?
433
00:38:09,151 --> 00:38:10,361
We are from Chicago.
434
00:38:10,411 --> 00:38:12,411
Chicago. We're from Akron.
435
00:38:12,741 --> 00:38:17,161
We're the Griswalds.
I'm Clark, and this is my wife, Ellen.
436
00:38:17,291 --> 00:38:19,961
And my daughters,
Audrey and Rusty.
437
00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:25,841
You're in Room 714. And please hurry.
438
00:38:29,011 --> 00:38:31,511
I guess it's true. Paris is for lovers.
439
00:38:32,681 --> 00:38:34,011
May I help you?
440
00:38:34,261 --> 00:38:38,021
We're the Griswalds.
We have a reservation for two chambres.
441
00:38:38,351 --> 00:38:41,691
We're the grand prize
Pig in a Poke winners. Oink, oink.
442
00:38:42,441 --> 00:38:44,521
- May I see your passports?
- Of course.
443
00:38:46,361 --> 00:38:48,191
I guess I sign this.
444
00:38:49,191 --> 00:38:52,701
I sign "Griswald" first, right?
No, I put "Clark."
445
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:54,871
I put "Clark."
446
00:38:55,531 --> 00:38:57,701
We don't really speak French.
447
00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:06,881
This is our first day.
448
00:39:15,391 --> 00:39:18,561
What do you think? C'est magnifique, huh?
449
00:39:19,471 --> 00:39:21,061
I'll go get the kids.
450
00:39:21,731 --> 00:39:24,561
Good idea. We'll get a move on.
451
00:39:37,331 --> 00:39:40,081
- Where's Dad?
- I'm right here.
452
00:39:41,251 --> 00:39:43,581
Just looking for the Bible. There it is.
453
00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:46,581
Everybody ready?
We got a schedule to keep.
454
00:39:46,921 --> 00:39:49,091
I vote we don't see any more museums.
455
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,761
I vote we don't get anything else to eat.
456
00:39:52,011 --> 00:39:54,591
What's this?
Do I detect a note of dissension?
457
00:39:54,931 --> 00:39:57,101
Yeah, Dad. Paris sucks!
458
00:39:57,431 --> 00:39:58,761
Everyone's so rude.
459
00:39:59,101 --> 00:40:03,021
- Come on, we're the visitors here.
- This isn't Wally World, it's a country.
460
00:40:03,941 --> 00:40:06,601
We're the ambassadors of America here.
461
00:40:06,941 --> 00:40:09,941
To be accepted, we have to fit in,
speak the language...
462
00:40:10,281 --> 00:40:13,651
...wear French clothes.
That's why I got us all berets.
463
00:40:21,491 --> 00:40:23,251
Come on, Dad.
464
00:40:23,791 --> 00:40:25,291
This is really rank.
465
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:28,501
Come on now, Russ. Loosen up.
466
00:40:29,791 --> 00:40:31,751
You don't want to look like a tourist.
467
00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:35,301
All the French wear these.
It's the national hat.
468
00:40:37,471 --> 00:40:42,141
I won't wear it. It looks stupid.
No girl will want to talk to me.
469
00:40:42,811 --> 00:40:45,141
Then I guess they'll all talk to me.
470
00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:47,481
I vote for berets.
471
00:40:47,811 --> 00:40:49,061
I second the motion.
472
00:40:49,481 --> 00:40:50,821
Berets.
473
00:40:51,151 --> 00:40:53,321
That's three-to-one. You lose, fellow.
474
00:41:02,741 --> 00:41:07,421
France is world famous for its cuisine,
so anything will be great.
475
00:41:07,751 --> 00:41:09,251
Order what you want.
476
00:41:09,921 --> 00:41:11,211
Garcon.
477
00:41:15,171 --> 00:41:18,641
Nous voulons commander a dejeuner.
478
00:41:28,771 --> 00:41:34,361
Les enfants desire hamburger et frites.
479
00:41:39,951 --> 00:41:42,621
Coca-Cola for the les enfants.
480
00:41:47,661 --> 00:41:48,831
Votre meilleur vin.
481
00:41:58,421 --> 00:42:00,391
You want the souffle?
482
00:42:01,641 --> 00:42:06,311
My femme would like to
commander the souffle fromage.
483
00:42:06,641 --> 00:42:09,351
Et moi, I'll have the veau, the veal.
484
00:42:14,651 --> 00:42:15,941
Good choice.
485
00:42:18,241 --> 00:42:19,201
Du brie.
486
00:42:22,491 --> 00:42:24,491
Just a little brie, yeah.
487
00:42:25,491 --> 00:42:27,831
We'll get that later. Merci beaucoup.
488
00:42:30,001 --> 00:42:33,211
Okay, just a little bit. That's about it.
489
00:42:35,001 --> 00:42:37,961
Where would you find a waiter like that
in the United States?
490
00:42:38,171 --> 00:42:42,721
Honey, speak the language,
they're going to be nice. Just try.
491
00:43:04,701 --> 00:43:07,541
There she is, kids. The Eiffel Tower.
492
00:43:07,871 --> 00:43:10,541
921 feet of historic landmark.
493
00:43:10,871 --> 00:43:13,211
That's more than an acre to us, Russ.
494
00:43:29,431 --> 00:43:31,891
- Let's go to the top, Dad.
- Yeah. Let's go.
495
00:43:38,071 --> 00:43:39,401
It's magnificent.
496
00:43:43,741 --> 00:43:45,321
It's breathtaking.
497
00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:51,961
I'm glad we decided to be pigs.
498
00:43:54,581 --> 00:43:55,921
Thank your father.
499
00:43:56,211 --> 00:43:58,341
Thanks, Dad.
500
00:44:00,421 --> 00:44:02,591
It's so beautiful, I feel so...
501
00:44:03,591 --> 00:44:06,931
I feel my juices are just...
It makes me so...
502
00:44:07,761 --> 00:44:10,101
I want to write. I want to paint.
503
00:44:10,431 --> 00:44:13,101
I want to sculpt something massive.
504
00:44:13,431 --> 00:44:15,441
I've got a creative urge to...
505
00:44:17,271 --> 00:44:19,611
I wonder if there's a men's room
around here?
506
00:44:24,111 --> 00:44:25,611
Look at those things.
507
00:44:25,951 --> 00:44:29,451
- Let's get our picture taken.
- No, they're silly.
508
00:44:29,781 --> 00:44:32,541
- I'll buy one for Jack.
- Okay.
509
00:45:13,831 --> 00:45:15,161
Rusty.
510
00:45:27,591 --> 00:45:29,301
Russ, what's wrong?
511
00:45:31,011 --> 00:45:34,561
I feel like an idiot because
of this stupid hat you made me wear.
512
00:45:36,851 --> 00:45:38,521
I want to talk to you.
513
00:45:40,191 --> 00:45:44,191
Two things. First, you're never an idiot.
You're a Griswald.
514
00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:45,781
Understand that?
515
00:45:49,491 --> 00:45:51,901
Second, you know I'd never do anything
to injure you.
516
00:45:52,201 --> 00:45:55,201
You know I'd never do anything
to hurt my opinion of myself.
517
00:45:56,831 --> 00:46:00,331
If the beret bothers you, it bothers me.
If it upsets you, it upsets me.
518
00:46:14,091 --> 00:46:16,551
How did you enjoy shopping today?
519
00:46:17,391 --> 00:46:19,561
Wait until you see what I got.
520
00:46:21,561 --> 00:46:24,731
I got it because the saleslady
said it's one of a kind.
521
00:46:25,101 --> 00:46:28,401
I'll never find another like it.
I know it's silly...
522
00:46:28,901 --> 00:46:30,941
...but I only got it for you.
523
00:46:32,901 --> 00:46:37,031
Honey, I wouldn't want the kids
to see me in something like this.
524
00:46:38,951 --> 00:46:43,411
Sparky, it's our first night in Paris.
Let's do something romantic.
525
00:46:43,751 --> 00:46:46,921
- I'm taking you out to dinner.
- "Out"?
526
00:46:47,791 --> 00:46:49,961
I felt like staying in.
527
00:46:50,251 --> 00:46:53,761
I thought it would be really nice
to be alone.
528
00:46:58,101 --> 00:47:00,471
I'd never go anywhere without you.
529
00:47:00,771 --> 00:47:04,441
Cheer up.
I promised you a night on the town.
530
00:47:04,521 --> 00:47:06,851
We'll see some French culture.
You'll love it.
531
00:47:44,931 --> 00:47:47,101
Down with the feet, hip distance apart...
532
00:47:47,141 --> 00:47:49,691
...stomachs pulled in, buttocks tight.
533
00:47:50,311 --> 00:47:52,151
Let's start with head rolls.
534
00:47:52,361 --> 00:47:56,031
To the right and back and left and forward.
535
00:48:08,501 --> 00:48:10,041
Isn't this great?
536
00:48:11,671 --> 00:48:14,711
They've done this for eons in France.
This is real culture.
537
00:48:15,671 --> 00:48:19,551
Exhale and raise your arms over your head.
Reach with the right...
538
00:48:20,051 --> 00:48:22,721
Clark, could I have the coat check?
539
00:48:23,011 --> 00:48:26,391
I think I've had enough French culture
for one evening.
540
00:48:31,811 --> 00:48:34,031
- Look.
- I am looking.
541
00:48:34,361 --> 00:48:35,741
Back there.
542
00:48:39,201 --> 00:48:43,241
- It's just a hooker. They're everywhere.
- Look who she is with.
543
00:48:58,881 --> 00:49:00,681
Russell Griswald.
544
00:49:01,591 --> 00:49:03,641
Oink, oink, my good man.
545
00:49:04,391 --> 00:49:06,431
- How did you get in?
- I paid.
546
00:49:07,021 --> 00:49:09,481
- I'm surprised at you.
- I'm surprised at you, Dad.
547
00:49:09,521 --> 00:49:10,901
Don't talk back.
548
00:49:10,941 --> 00:49:13,441
- Who was that cheap slut?
- Cherie's not a slut.
549
00:49:13,561 --> 00:49:15,151
I'm disappointed in you.
550
00:49:15,401 --> 00:49:17,741
Who said, "When in Rome,
do as the Romans do"?
551
00:49:17,941 --> 00:49:20,911
I said Rome, not Paris.
This is Paris, and you're drunk.
552
00:49:28,501 --> 00:49:30,161
Hold it!
553
00:49:57,111 --> 00:49:58,481
Let me have it!
554
00:49:58,611 --> 00:50:00,441
Today is my turn.
555
00:50:00,781 --> 00:50:02,451
- Give them to me.
- No!
556
00:50:06,491 --> 00:50:08,291
Look what you did to them.
557
00:50:08,621 --> 00:50:13,121
They're mine!
How many times do I have to tell you that?
558
00:50:24,591 --> 00:50:27,261
Will you slow down?
The kids are exhausted.
559
00:50:27,511 --> 00:50:31,231
It closes in 15 minutes.
There are 100,000 works of art to see.
560
00:50:34,981 --> 00:50:38,151
Great. Are you happy, Dad? She's dead.
561
00:51:04,881 --> 00:51:06,841
I'm proud of you guys.
562
00:51:07,181 --> 00:51:10,601
We've seen everything in Paris,
and we're on schedule.
563
00:51:11,351 --> 00:51:14,391
Can't we slow down a little bit?
I'm exhausted.
564
00:51:14,691 --> 00:51:17,521
We'll have a relaxing time
with my relatives in Germany.
565
00:51:25,701 --> 00:51:27,201
Enjoying Paris?
566
00:51:28,701 --> 00:51:30,951
Have you seen the Louvre yet?
567
00:51:31,871 --> 00:51:33,201
Not yet.
568
00:51:33,541 --> 00:51:35,211
The Left Bank is charming.
569
00:51:35,921 --> 00:51:37,581
We plan to go there.
570
00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:41,301
- Been up the Eiffel Tower yet?
- No, but it's on our list.
571
00:51:42,921 --> 00:51:44,551
Have a good time.
572
00:51:45,931 --> 00:51:49,891
What a waste. We've seen 10 times
as much as they have.
573
00:51:53,721 --> 00:51:55,941
Hi, sweetie. You want some breakfast?
574
00:51:56,391 --> 00:51:58,101
I'm not hungry.
575
00:51:59,401 --> 00:52:02,071
He's got his hands on her tits
right at the table.
576
00:52:02,441 --> 00:52:04,241
Stop staring.
577
00:52:04,571 --> 00:52:09,071
European standards of public behavior
are different than ours.
578
00:52:09,371 --> 00:52:11,031
But they're from Akron.
579
00:52:13,741 --> 00:52:16,251
Audrey, I've missed the shit out of you.
580
00:52:16,621 --> 00:52:18,921
Luckily, Debbie came by to cheer me up.
581
00:52:19,081 --> 00:52:22,291
- That bitch!
- Something the matter, Audrey?
582
00:52:24,961 --> 00:52:27,131
It's time we asked ourselves
this question:
583
00:52:27,431 --> 00:52:31,101
Is this relationship strong enough
for us to consider seeing other people?
584
00:52:31,431 --> 00:52:33,101
I think it is.
585
00:52:34,101 --> 00:52:38,141
Pass the croissants, please.
And the butter and jelly.
586
00:52:38,941 --> 00:52:40,811
I'm glad your appetite's back.
587
00:52:40,861 --> 00:52:43,021
Who have I got to be thin for?
588
00:52:50,321 --> 00:52:51,821
He's going to pork her.
589
00:52:53,121 --> 00:52:55,491
He isn't going to pork her. Now eat.
590
00:52:55,791 --> 00:52:56,911
I think he is.
591
00:52:58,041 --> 00:53:00,251
He may pork her. Just eat, okay?
592
00:53:43,541 --> 00:53:45,341
There it is, kids.
593
00:53:46,051 --> 00:53:47,591
My motherland.
594
00:53:49,381 --> 00:53:51,681
Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
595
00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:53,051
Shut up, Russ.
596
00:54:03,691 --> 00:54:06,861
I can't wait to meet our relatives,
in person.
597
00:54:09,241 --> 00:54:10,281
Dipplestrabe.
598
00:54:11,031 --> 00:54:12,701
What are we looking for?
599
00:54:12,991 --> 00:54:15,321
- Sechs.
- That will do, Audrey.
600
00:54:15,531 --> 00:54:17,621
That's German for "six."
601
00:54:19,411 --> 00:54:20,711
Is that true?
602
00:54:39,721 --> 00:54:42,061
My family and I are looking for sechs.
603
00:54:45,231 --> 00:54:46,771
There's number six.
604
00:54:57,781 --> 00:55:00,451
Fritz, Clark Griswald. Good to see you.
605
00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:03,621
Remember Ellen from her letters?
There she is.
606
00:55:03,911 --> 00:55:08,421
And Rusty and Audrey.
They've gotten bigger since the pictures.
607
00:55:08,541 --> 00:55:12,211
Sorry we're late. I went to
the wrong door. Thanks for the invitation.
608
00:55:22,101 --> 00:55:25,811
This must be the German dining room.
Isn't it nice?
609
00:55:26,601 --> 00:55:29,321
Clark, it's just as I imagined.
610
00:55:30,481 --> 00:55:32,071
It's so quaint.
611
00:55:32,191 --> 00:55:34,651
Yeah, maximum quaintness.
612
00:55:35,951 --> 00:55:38,821
You must be Helga. We made it.
613
00:55:39,331 --> 00:55:42,121
You know Ellen, my wife,
and Rusty and Audrey.
614
00:55:45,461 --> 00:55:48,331
Let me help you in the kitchen.
Come on, kids.
615
00:55:48,631 --> 00:55:51,131
Go help in the kitchen. Help Helga out.
616
00:55:52,301 --> 00:55:55,051
So, Fritz, how you been?
617
00:55:55,171 --> 00:55:56,971
Long time never seen.
618
00:56:15,861 --> 00:56:19,411
Here's your cousin Al.
He's a hotshot lawyer.
619
00:56:19,531 --> 00:56:22,031
They'll probably get him on tax evasion.
620
00:56:22,121 --> 00:56:23,741
Here's the baby.
621
00:56:24,201 --> 00:56:27,671
You don't believe that cock-and-bull story
about the baby being premature?
622
00:56:29,631 --> 00:56:31,091
I didn't think so.
623
00:56:32,171 --> 00:56:36,511
When me and Jack got together,
we'd been seeing other people.
624
00:56:36,881 --> 00:56:40,591
But this is different, because Debbie
is my best friend, don't you think?
625
00:56:41,351 --> 00:56:44,021
God, it's so good
to have someone to talk to.
626
00:56:44,351 --> 00:56:48,891
I tell my parents stuff but they don't seem
to know what I'm talking about.
627
00:56:49,561 --> 00:56:52,151
- What are you talking about?
- You see?
628
00:56:55,231 --> 00:56:56,941
God, I miss Jack.
629
00:57:07,961 --> 00:57:11,961
I was just thinking.
Blood really is thicker than water.
630
00:57:14,381 --> 00:57:17,551
It's amazing how family ties
break through language barriers.
631
00:57:18,671 --> 00:57:20,891
This has been my favorite part of the trip.
632
00:57:26,971 --> 00:57:29,601
Dad, look. Bedpans.
633
00:57:31,981 --> 00:57:34,821
You've been so sweet. Here's our address.
634
00:57:35,151 --> 00:57:38,321
When you come to Chicago,
come stay with us.
635
00:57:42,161 --> 00:57:44,661
Thanks for the marvelous conversation.
636
00:57:46,371 --> 00:57:47,951
We'll write.
637
00:58:07,061 --> 00:58:08,851
A festival.
638
00:58:09,481 --> 00:58:12,021
It looks like fun. Come on, kids.
639
00:59:04,411 --> 00:59:07,281
- What's your name?
- Claudia. And yours?
640
00:59:07,911 --> 00:59:09,621
- I'm Rusty.
- Hello.
641
00:59:15,171 --> 00:59:16,831
Do you ever get to leave here?
642
00:59:22,921 --> 00:59:25,131
What's so funny? This is great, isn't it?
643
00:59:25,891 --> 00:59:27,091
I love these.
644
00:59:27,181 --> 00:59:29,471
Who wants bratwurst, mustard and relish?
645
00:59:54,461 --> 00:59:56,121
Holy shit!
646
00:59:56,711 --> 00:59:59,091
Hey, you! Come on!
647
00:59:59,631 --> 01:00:03,051
Very good. We need one more.
A big strong man.
648
01:00:04,801 --> 01:00:07,971
Hey, you! Come on!
Come on, don't be afraid.
649
01:00:22,021 --> 01:00:23,571
I don't know if I can do that.
650
01:00:23,691 --> 01:00:25,651
Just follow the others.
651
01:00:45,721 --> 01:00:46,921
Isn't he great?
652
01:02:53,841 --> 01:02:56,551
- Those bells haven't rung in years.
- What does it mean?
653
01:02:56,601 --> 01:02:58,561
They're going to hang somebody!
654
01:02:59,971 --> 01:03:01,311
Dad.
655
01:03:14,361 --> 01:03:15,161
Hurry up!
656
01:04:01,701 --> 01:04:02,701
Oh, shit.
657
01:04:07,171 --> 01:04:09,881
- It's too narrow!
- There's plenty of room.
658
01:04:10,541 --> 01:04:11,711
I know this car.
659
01:04:15,721 --> 01:04:18,221
Get out! There goes the paint job.
660
01:04:59,301 --> 01:05:01,011
Why the sour puss?
661
01:05:02,301 --> 01:05:05,980
You ruined what could have been
the best day of my life.
662
01:05:05,981 --> 01:05:09,851
What are you complaining about?
I lost my boyfriend thanks to this vacation.
663
01:05:10,231 --> 01:05:14,031
- I vote we stop talking about Jack.
- I vote for that.
664
01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:17,031
I vote we don't talk
about schedules anymore.
665
01:05:17,151 --> 01:05:18,111
Me, too.
666
01:05:18,151 --> 01:05:19,361
I'm for that.
667
01:05:19,861 --> 01:05:24,291
I vote we don't talk at all until we get
to Rome and everybody calms down.
668
01:05:24,991 --> 01:05:27,961
Maybe then we can act
like mature human beings.
669
01:07:33,251 --> 01:07:37,081
Clark, I thought we'd talk.
What are we doing?
670
01:07:37,421 --> 01:07:42,091
We're going to a travelers checks place
to get our money refunded.
671
01:07:42,171 --> 01:07:44,471
We'll rent a new car, buy some clothes...
672
01:07:44,761 --> 01:07:48,301
...and finish the best goddamn vacation
of our lives.
673
01:07:48,551 --> 01:07:49,761
Let's go.
674
01:07:53,231 --> 01:07:55,481
I think Dad's lost all sense of reality.
675
01:08:05,451 --> 01:08:07,371
Let's get out of here.
676
01:08:08,321 --> 01:08:11,491
What are we going to do with him?
Kill him?
677
01:08:11,991 --> 01:08:14,291
Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone.
678
01:08:14,661 --> 01:08:16,251
Then, what do we do?
679
01:08:18,831 --> 01:08:20,841
I've got a better idea.
680
01:08:21,001 --> 01:08:22,801
We can hold him for ransom.
681
01:08:23,711 --> 01:08:25,301
He must be worth something.
682
01:08:28,471 --> 01:08:31,471
Clark! I think this is something historical.
683
01:08:31,811 --> 01:08:34,181
It looks real old, Dad.
684
01:08:35,851 --> 01:08:38,101
That's great. We'll see it later.
685
01:08:38,151 --> 01:08:40,651
Only four more miles. Let's go.
686
01:08:43,481 --> 01:08:47,491
What we need now is a dupe.
Someone above suspicion...
687
01:08:47,991 --> 01:08:50,451
...who will believe anything you tell him.
688
01:08:51,531 --> 01:08:53,241
A real idiot.
689
01:08:53,331 --> 01:08:55,001
Anybody here?
690
01:08:56,501 --> 01:08:59,671
We have no proof
we lost the travelers checks.
691
01:08:59,791 --> 01:09:01,591
We left the stubs in the suitcase.
692
01:09:04,551 --> 01:09:05,721
Can I help you?
693
01:09:06,011 --> 01:09:09,341
I'm Clark W. Griswald. We're
the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners.
694
01:09:10,301 --> 01:09:15,561
We're in a bind. We lost our luggage,
a videotape camera, rented car...
695
01:09:15,641 --> 01:09:19,851
...and $1,000 in cash.
So, I'm just here to get my money back.
696
01:09:21,561 --> 01:09:24,071
I certainly hate to see
our customers inconvenienced.
697
01:09:32,621 --> 01:09:35,791
- Name?
- Clark W. Griswald.
698
01:09:40,121 --> 01:09:41,791
Ellen Griswald.
699
01:09:46,551 --> 01:09:49,721
These are our children, Rusty and Audrey.
700
01:09:49,881 --> 01:09:51,681
Come over here. Show yourselves.
701
01:09:56,931 --> 01:09:58,391
Here we are.
702
01:10:04,611 --> 01:10:08,571
Excuse me. We lost only $1,000.
This is $3,000.
703
01:10:08,781 --> 01:10:10,611
That's to make up for your trouble.
704
01:10:13,121 --> 01:10:15,121
I lost about $200.
705
01:10:19,121 --> 01:10:21,581
Stay quiet. We'll get you out later.
706
01:10:23,921 --> 01:10:28,091
Unfortunately, we somehow
misplaced the key to the trunk.
707
01:10:28,591 --> 01:10:32,341
If you tell me where you're staying,
we'll send the key there.
708
01:10:33,091 --> 01:10:35,301
At what hotel are we staying?
709
01:10:35,551 --> 01:10:37,521
- The Nazionale.
- Very nice.
710
01:10:38,771 --> 01:10:41,141
I didn't know you rented cars.
711
01:10:45,441 --> 01:10:47,731
I'll see you, then.
712
01:10:49,651 --> 01:10:51,781
Let's see some Roman ruins.
713
01:10:52,151 --> 01:10:55,831
We've been in these clothes for ages.
Let's go shopping.
714
01:10:56,241 --> 01:10:57,491
I vote for shopping.
715
01:10:57,741 --> 01:10:59,661
I feel totally scuzzed out.
716
01:10:59,831 --> 01:11:04,671
We'd all look good in some Italian fashions.
Got plenty of money.
717
01:12:54,491 --> 01:12:56,651
- You look cool.
- I feel cool.
718
01:13:01,281 --> 01:13:02,991
Looking good, Mom!
719
01:13:03,241 --> 01:13:06,621
Let's go. We ready to conquer Rome?
720
01:13:22,511 --> 01:13:24,811
I'll be back and we'll hit the fountains.
721
01:13:33,611 --> 01:13:36,281
I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right?
722
01:13:37,281 --> 01:13:39,161
No problem at all.
723
01:13:39,241 --> 01:13:40,951
It's you. The guy from London.
724
01:13:41,121 --> 01:13:42,781
You're the American I ran into.
725
01:13:44,991 --> 01:13:46,501
What are you doing in Rome?
726
01:13:47,161 --> 01:13:50,331
On sick leave. A little holiday. Recovering.
727
01:13:50,501 --> 01:13:52,291
Still on holiday with the kids?
728
01:13:52,381 --> 01:13:55,461
Yeah, we're here.
We've just been out shopping.
729
01:13:56,011 --> 01:13:57,551
Nice choice.
730
01:13:57,801 --> 01:14:00,381
They're right there.
Kids, look who it is! Say "hi"!
731
01:14:04,011 --> 01:14:06,101
You've got a cast on your leg.
732
01:14:06,471 --> 01:14:10,641
This? Think nothing of it.
Hardly matters at all.
733
01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:12,401
It's just a big sock, really.
734
01:14:12,861 --> 01:14:17,821
That's pretty nice of you. I feel bad.
At least, let me give you a hand.
735
01:14:18,031 --> 01:14:19,201
No, thanks!
736
01:14:19,651 --> 01:14:20,991
Isn't this your hotel?
737
01:14:21,111 --> 01:14:24,281
No, my hotel's over there.
Have a nice holiday.
738
01:14:24,331 --> 01:14:26,041
Okay. Cheerio!
739
01:14:28,331 --> 01:14:30,251
This is the Piazza Navona.
740
01:14:30,501 --> 01:14:31,371
Jack?
741
01:14:34,381 --> 01:14:37,921
It's one of the most fabulous squares
in Rome. What's wrong?
742
01:14:38,301 --> 01:14:40,511
I want to go home. I miss Jack.
743
01:14:40,681 --> 01:14:44,181
We have a few more fountains to see,
then the Colosseum.
744
01:14:44,261 --> 01:14:47,261
I don't want to see the Colosseum.
I want to see Jack!
745
01:14:47,851 --> 01:14:49,311
Jack will always be there.
746
01:14:49,431 --> 01:14:53,101
The Colosseum will always be there.
It's been there 2,000 years.
747
01:14:53,311 --> 01:14:57,611
If I don't go home soon, Jack will fall
in love with Debbie, and I'll die.
748
01:14:59,241 --> 01:15:02,031
Don't you want to see the Colosseum
before you die?
749
01:15:02,151 --> 01:15:04,031
I hate you.
750
01:15:05,201 --> 01:15:07,241
I'll meet you later at the hotel.
751
01:15:08,371 --> 01:15:10,001
What about the fountains?
752
01:15:10,161 --> 01:15:11,871
I'm fountained out.
753
01:15:11,961 --> 01:15:13,621
Clark, let him go.
754
01:15:14,081 --> 01:15:16,501
We're leaving in two days.
755
01:15:16,541 --> 01:15:19,421
These are our last moments together
as a family.
756
01:15:20,211 --> 01:15:24,221
Dad, we've been together every second
for the last two weeks!
757
01:15:25,091 --> 01:15:29,021
By the way, I've been good.
I haven't complained or tried to escape.
758
01:15:29,521 --> 01:15:31,771
Why can't you treat me like a man,
for once?
759
01:15:33,231 --> 01:15:34,691
Because you're not a man.
760
01:15:35,101 --> 01:15:38,901
I am, too!
I'm 15 years old, a world traveler.
761
01:15:38,981 --> 01:15:42,031
I have a part-time job.
I need my independence.
762
01:15:42,741 --> 01:15:44,741
If he's going, I'm going.
763
01:15:44,861 --> 01:15:47,531
Why don't we give the kids
some free time?
764
01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:51,751
Sure. Let them go.
They're just a couple of ingrates.
765
01:15:51,911 --> 01:15:54,421
They're not ingrates, they're teenagers.
766
01:15:54,621 --> 01:15:56,831
- Where's my allowance?
- Where's my passport?
767
01:15:56,921 --> 01:15:59,051
Just a minute!
768
01:15:59,461 --> 01:16:01,711
Let's settle down and be reasonable.
769
01:16:02,011 --> 01:16:05,931
If we think about it,
we can all make some compromises.
770
01:16:12,101 --> 01:16:13,931
Oh, my God!
771
01:16:20,111 --> 01:16:21,981
- Take it easy.
- I don't believe this!
772
01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:26,071
This is the most humiliating thing you've
ever done to me! This is the last straw.
773
01:16:26,321 --> 01:16:28,821
It's not my fault they stole the camera.
774
01:16:29,081 --> 01:16:31,241
You promised to erase it!
775
01:16:31,791 --> 01:16:35,411
I was going to erase it.
The guy stole the camera.
776
01:16:35,501 --> 01:16:38,461
This is the lowest, the worst, Clark!
777
01:16:39,591 --> 01:16:43,261
Where are you going?
We're going to the Colosseum at 2:00.
778
01:16:43,341 --> 01:16:45,171
I'm going back to the hotel!
779
01:16:46,881 --> 01:16:48,340
We didn't vote on that.
780
01:16:48,341 --> 01:16:51,061
Forget your vote!
I'm seceding from the Union...
781
01:16:51,101 --> 01:16:54,641
...forming my own government,
and declaring war on you!
782
01:16:59,361 --> 01:17:02,781
- She knows I didn't do it on purpose.
- I don't blame her.
783
01:17:04,401 --> 01:17:06,651
Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it?
784
01:17:10,161 --> 01:17:12,081
I guess it's just you and me, Audrey.
785
01:17:19,541 --> 01:17:21,001
Buongiorno.
786
01:17:24,711 --> 01:17:26,921
That's bellissimo.
787
01:17:27,511 --> 01:17:28,971
Really choice?
788
01:17:29,971 --> 01:17:35,181
And I think that
you are really bellissimo also.
789
01:17:36,391 --> 01:17:38,391
You're not too shabby yourself.
790
01:17:38,891 --> 01:17:41,611
- You speak English?
- I'm from California.
791
01:17:41,861 --> 01:17:43,821
All right! I'm from Chicago.
792
01:17:46,401 --> 01:17:48,951
Do you want to go scarf
some grimace proportions?
793
01:17:50,201 --> 01:17:51,871
What are you doing in Rome?
794
01:17:52,201 --> 01:17:53,871
Traveling with my folks.
795
01:17:54,121 --> 01:17:55,451
Me, too. We won...
796
01:17:55,491 --> 01:17:59,001
- Pig in a Poke. I saw the show.
- You saw the show?
797
01:17:59,211 --> 01:18:02,671
You answered the Thomas Edison
question and won car wax.
798
01:18:02,921 --> 01:18:05,341
- You remembered?
- Yes, I thought you were cute.
799
01:18:05,921 --> 01:18:07,721
You thought I was cute?
800
01:18:21,601 --> 01:18:23,561
Finally, there's one of them.
801
01:18:23,811 --> 01:18:25,071
And she's alone.
802
01:18:25,401 --> 01:18:27,401
Let's get the guy out of the trunk.
803
01:18:27,741 --> 01:18:30,741
Too many people here.
We'll move the car first.
804
01:18:31,111 --> 01:18:32,911
I'll get the keys from her.
805
01:19:07,781 --> 01:19:11,451
I hate to see a beautiful woman
drink bad wine.
806
01:19:12,451 --> 01:19:16,781
Then you should leave,
because I'm going to get plastered.
807
01:19:18,791 --> 01:19:20,161
What is it?
808
01:19:21,661 --> 01:19:23,251
Is it your husband?
809
01:19:24,131 --> 01:19:25,211
That pig?
810
01:19:25,461 --> 01:19:27,291
He's not a pig.
811
01:19:34,471 --> 01:19:36,931
He is a pig. He is!
812
01:19:42,181 --> 01:19:43,521
Thank you.
813
01:19:46,151 --> 01:19:49,031
Operator, I'd like the number
for information.
814
01:19:49,321 --> 01:19:51,321
I want to call the airport.
815
01:19:56,451 --> 01:19:58,781
Numero, please-o.
816
01:20:02,201 --> 01:20:03,501
Pan Am.
817
01:20:12,051 --> 01:20:14,721
Va bene. Non si preoccupi.
Faccio io. Lasci stare.
818
01:20:15,471 --> 01:20:19,311
E stata una disgrazia.
Ora rimedio io, piano piano.
819
01:20:19,721 --> 01:20:20,511
Che fa?
820
01:20:48,381 --> 01:20:51,551
Then I rolled on the floor
and started going...
821
01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:59,261
I was completely naked.
Not completely, I had on a towel.
822
01:20:59,551 --> 01:21:04,061
He promised me he'd erase that.
He promised me he'd erase it.
823
01:21:04,931 --> 01:21:06,891
I'm a ruined woman.
824
01:21:08,401 --> 01:21:10,561
I thought this was going to be...
825
01:21:12,571 --> 01:21:15,241
...like some kind of second honeymoon.
826
01:21:16,241 --> 01:21:20,411
We should have left the children
with Helga and Fritz.
827
01:21:24,451 --> 01:21:27,751
I'm sorry, but I should go to my room now.
828
01:21:28,121 --> 01:21:30,081
I'm going to throw up.
829
01:21:35,011 --> 01:21:36,511
Let me help you.
830
01:21:36,801 --> 01:21:39,431
No, no. I'll be fine, really.
831
01:21:39,641 --> 01:21:42,561
I think you'll feel better if you lie down.
832
01:21:44,971 --> 01:21:47,771
I have a philosophy
about dealing with my parents.
833
01:21:48,141 --> 01:21:51,111
If I'm in school or hanging out
or something...
834
01:21:51,311 --> 01:21:55,481
...there's all this pressure
to act cool or do the right thing.
835
01:21:56,151 --> 01:21:58,781
But if I'm with my parents,
who really cares?
836
01:21:58,991 --> 01:22:02,621
They don't know what's cool and what's
not, so I just put everything on hold.
837
01:22:03,531 --> 01:22:05,701
That's a great way to look at it.
838
01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:08,961
I'm having a great time.
839
01:22:09,331 --> 01:22:10,371
Me, too.
840
01:22:10,831 --> 01:22:14,801
Imagine coming all the way to Rome
to meet someone from California.
841
01:22:19,631 --> 01:22:21,971
Whatever happened to us?
842
01:22:23,141 --> 01:22:25,141
We were high school sweethearts.
843
01:22:25,311 --> 01:22:29,981
We never even did it until we got married.
Well, at least until we decided to.
844
01:22:30,481 --> 01:22:33,441
And I left him all alone in that piazza.
845
01:22:33,811 --> 01:22:36,691
I said the "F" word in front of my children!
846
01:22:36,981 --> 01:22:39,491
What kind of woman am I?
847
01:22:40,491 --> 01:22:41,361
Exciting.
848
01:22:42,821 --> 01:22:44,531
Don't fight it, Ellen.
849
01:22:45,031 --> 01:22:46,991
What are you doing?
850
01:22:47,501 --> 01:22:49,501
Let me take you away from this.
851
01:22:49,621 --> 01:22:52,831
I don't want to be away.
I want my Sparky back.
852
01:22:54,171 --> 01:22:57,091
It was just a little argument.
He'll be here any minute.
853
01:22:57,711 --> 01:22:59,011
He's very jealous.
854
01:23:00,381 --> 01:23:01,761
I'm calling the manager.
855
01:23:03,391 --> 01:23:05,851
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
856
01:23:15,401 --> 01:23:17,731
Are you taking any calls?
857
01:23:20,651 --> 01:23:23,241
The police are here.
Stay away from the Fiat.
858
01:23:23,571 --> 01:23:24,571
I'm leaving.
859
01:23:24,661 --> 01:23:26,331
I'll be right down.
860
01:23:27,281 --> 01:23:29,081
Debbie, Audrey!
861
01:23:29,251 --> 01:23:31,711
We've got a score to settle,
and you know what I mean!
862
01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:36,881
If you want to salvage our last shred
of friendship, do me this favor.
863
01:23:37,381 --> 01:23:41,881
I want you to book me on a Pan Am
flight out of Rome into Chicago today!
864
01:23:43,381 --> 01:23:45,091
Yeah, I'll hold.
865
01:23:48,141 --> 01:23:49,021
Bitch.
866
01:23:56,111 --> 01:23:58,071
Take the car keys!
867
01:23:59,571 --> 01:24:01,191
Find your father!
868
01:24:05,781 --> 01:24:07,071
Don't move.
869
01:24:20,251 --> 01:24:22,261
Mom, where are you going?
870
01:24:26,181 --> 01:24:29,101
- What's wrong?
- Mom's been kidnapped.
871
01:24:31,101 --> 01:24:33,561
- Where's the car?
- Over there. Here's the keys.
872
01:25:00,001 --> 01:25:01,051
There they are!
873
01:25:24,821 --> 01:25:27,151
Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum!
874
01:25:34,451 --> 01:25:38,171
I've talked so much. What about you?
What are your parents like?
875
01:25:38,871 --> 01:25:41,671
There's really not that much to say.
876
01:25:42,041 --> 01:25:43,711
They're just normal parents.
877
01:25:53,721 --> 01:25:56,311
My Dad's all right.
He's a little slow sometimes.
878
01:26:04,231 --> 01:26:05,821
God, that's Dad!
879
01:26:07,611 --> 01:26:10,911
- What happened?
- Not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
880
01:26:36,021 --> 01:26:37,311
Darn it all!
881
01:26:45,271 --> 01:26:48,071
Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk.
882
01:26:56,451 --> 01:26:57,911
I'm coming!
883
01:27:30,281 --> 01:27:32,151
Take my hand!
884
01:27:38,121 --> 01:27:40,291
Clark, where are you going?
885
01:27:40,661 --> 01:27:42,461
Get back here!
886
01:28:11,321 --> 01:28:12,491
You bastard!
887
01:28:14,361 --> 01:28:15,661
Come here.
888
01:28:22,621 --> 01:28:23,911
Still on holiday?
889
01:28:24,171 --> 01:28:26,331
Sorry. I'm looking for someone else.
890
01:28:26,541 --> 01:28:29,131
No problem. I'm used to it. Good luck!
891
01:28:39,221 --> 01:28:40,561
He kidnapped my wife.
892
01:28:43,181 --> 01:28:44,521
You all right?
893
01:29:01,871 --> 01:29:04,711
I love you, Sparky. You're my hero.
894
01:29:04,961 --> 01:29:06,121
I know.
895
01:29:06,871 --> 01:29:09,541
Your parents are actually pretty cool.
896
01:29:09,881 --> 01:29:13,051
Yeah, they're good
for a few laughs, sometimes.
897
01:29:14,051 --> 01:29:16,381
Now can we go home?
898
01:30:07,271 --> 01:30:08,641
Look.
899
01:30:10,941 --> 01:30:12,821
The Statue of Liberty.
900
01:30:14,981 --> 01:30:18,111
I never thought I'd be so glad
to see the Statue of Liberty.
901
01:30:18,151 --> 01:30:19,161
Me neither.
902
01:30:20,111 --> 01:30:24,621
The great thing about traveling
is you really appreciate coming home.
903
01:30:30,961 --> 01:30:32,341
I've got to go.
904
01:30:37,971 --> 01:30:40,631
I never realized
how much I've missed America.
905
01:30:41,471 --> 01:30:43,971
I bet America's missed the Griswalds.
906
01:30:47,681 --> 01:30:51,351
I'm very sorry. Let me get...
My jacket is caught.
907
01:31:02,371 --> 01:31:04,781
Yup. The Griswalds are back!
68955
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