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1
00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:25,747
They say
the key to success
2
00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:27,683
is to look
into the future
3
00:00:27,685 --> 00:00:30,688
and visualize what you
want to become.
4
00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:35,490
But some creatures are perfect
just the way they are,
5
00:00:35,492 --> 00:00:37,091
even if no one
knows it yet.
6
00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,900
Your name
is Veronica.
7
00:00:45,902 --> 00:00:47,938
It's nice to meet you,
Veronica.
8
00:00:50,106 --> 00:00:52,341
Is that Irene
in the dumpster?
9
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,076
She's so weird.
10
00:00:54,078 --> 00:00:56,043
This is
Irene Willis.
11
00:00:56,045 --> 00:00:58,579
She's fifteen years old
and lives in Canada,
12
00:00:58,581 --> 00:01:01,382
which is the country Thelma
and Louise would be living in
13
00:01:01,384 --> 00:01:03,820
if they decided
to drive North.
14
00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:06,954
Irene Willis lives
in Parc, Ontario,
15
00:01:06,956 --> 00:01:09,924
the most insignificant
geographical location
16
00:01:09,926 --> 00:01:11,992
in North America.
17
00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:14,462
Just one hour
north of Toronto.
18
00:01:14,464 --> 00:01:16,864
Close enough to know
what you're missing,
19
00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:19,735
but far enough
to never get there.
20
00:01:19,737 --> 00:01:22,570
It was no fluke that the local
high school was built
21
00:01:22,572 --> 00:01:25,140
right next to
the local retirement home,
22
00:01:25,142 --> 00:01:28,876
which was built right beside
the local funeral home.
23
00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:32,416
That's because the people
who live in Parc are lazy.
24
00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,917
I wish I could
be like you.
25
00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:38,789
You get to grow wings and
fly away from this town.
26
00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:43,024
Parc, Ontario is also
the 'shitty plaza' capital
27
00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:44,893
of the world.
28
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:48,563
If you want to find a place
where no one would want to shop,
29
00:01:48,565 --> 00:01:50,968
you'll find it
right here in town.
30
00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:57,542
Veronica, girls like us
need to stick together.
31
00:02:00,176 --> 00:02:01,779
Flush it.
32
00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:05,045
Goodbye, Veronica.
33
00:02:08,551 --> 00:02:11,452
Irene's mom, Lydia,
is the type of mother
34
00:02:11,454 --> 00:02:14,956
who makes her daughter
murder her only friend.
35
00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:16,558
But she wasn't always
like this.
36
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,160
Kick! Kick!
37
00:02:18,162 --> 00:02:21,563
Sixteen years ago, Lydia Willis
was captain of the cheer squad
38
00:02:21,565 --> 00:02:26,066
at Parc High, but it got
her into a bit of trouble.
39
00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,070
One little incident involving a
lack of birth control
40
00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:31,973
and nine months later,
little Irene was pushed out
41
00:02:31,975 --> 00:02:34,809
into a world that...
it would seem...
42
00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:37,479
would never
accept her.
43
00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:40,849
Lydia knows first hand
how mean kids can be,
44
00:02:40,851 --> 00:02:44,785
so she takes overprotection
to the next level.
45
00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:47,122
Irene is not allowed
to watch T.V.,
46
00:02:47,124 --> 00:02:50,661
surf the internet,
or even own a cell phone.
47
00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:56,231
This girl isn't just unpopular,
she's the biggest loser in all
48
00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:59,201
of Parc's
teenaged history.
49
00:02:59,203 --> 00:03:01,769
And 5, 6, 7, 8.
50
00:03:01,771 --> 00:03:05,506
Step-touch, step-touch.
And up, and up.
51
00:03:05,508 --> 00:03:06,941
But this year
at school,
52
00:03:06,943 --> 00:03:08,677
things are going
to be different.
53
00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:11,245
Shake left, again.
Step-touch, step...
54
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:12,682
Screw Mom.
55
00:03:15,218 --> 00:03:17,918
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader!
56
00:05:13,837 --> 00:05:15,706
I'm gonna do it, Geena.
57
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:17,506
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader!
58
00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:20,040
You know what else
you're going to do this year?
59
00:05:20,042 --> 00:05:20,842
What?
60
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:21,843
You're
going to date a jock.
61
00:05:21,845 --> 00:05:23,244
But the only girls
who date jocks
62
00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:25,013
are popular
and in style.
63
00:05:25,015 --> 00:05:26,013
That's not me.
64
00:05:26,015 --> 00:05:27,381
You're
a trailblazer
65
00:05:27,383 --> 00:05:29,818
and trailblazers
have never been in style.
66
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:32,953
They walk their own path
and then others follow.
67
00:05:32,955 --> 00:05:36,191
When I was your age, I was so
self-conscious about my height.
68
00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:37,958
I wanted
to hide.
69
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,028
Good thing
I didn't hide, right?
70
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:40,862
Yeah.
71
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,766
In the world
Irene exists in,
72
00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:48,670
I, Geena Davis,
am God.
73
00:05:48,672 --> 00:05:52,107
And as her god, I have only
one commandment:
74
00:05:52,109 --> 00:05:55,112
Thou shalt
not quit!
75
00:07:13,256 --> 00:07:15,090
Good moring, Parc Secondary,
76
00:07:15,092 --> 00:07:16,824
This is Principal
Firestone
77
00:07:16,826 --> 00:07:19,427
and these are your
morning announcements:
78
00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:21,362
Welcome to
the first day of school.
79
00:07:21,364 --> 00:07:24,669
New students, please check in
to the auditorium...
80
00:07:26,369 --> 00:07:27,837
What is she
wearing?
81
00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:36,847
What the hell is that?
82
00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:40,217
Are you a boy
or a girl?
83
00:07:41,917 --> 00:07:44,384
If gender were a country,
I'd be Switzerland.
84
00:07:44,386 --> 00:07:45,285
Oh.
85
00:07:45,287 --> 00:07:46,855
Do you ski?
86
00:07:51,061 --> 00:07:53,261
This town is pretty stale,
isn't it?
87
00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:56,263
Yeah, flies lay their eggs in it
so their maggot children
88
00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:58,299
can fly away
and have a better future.
89
00:07:58,301 --> 00:08:02,136
Okay, you're insane...
but I love your statement.
90
00:08:02,138 --> 00:08:04,239
Uh-what statement?
91
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:07,174
Your anti-establishment
cheerleading statement!
92
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:09,177
It's so subversive
and punk.
93
00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:11,812
I'm not punk.
94
00:08:11,814 --> 00:08:15,215
You as a cheerleader
is punk.
95
00:08:15,217 --> 00:08:16,484
You realize that,
right?
96
00:08:16,486 --> 00:08:19,254
No, I'm a regular
cheerleader.
97
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,256
My name is Tesh,
by the way.
98
00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,896
Ah, okay.
99
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,006
Okay,
cheerleaders, listen up.
100
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:41,376
We have to focus
on cheers this year.
101
00:08:41,378 --> 00:08:44,478
I know you guys are single
and ditch the homework.
102
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,048
We are atheltes, we have to
take ourselves seriously,
103
00:08:47,050 --> 00:08:48,382
okay you guys?
104
00:08:48,384 --> 00:08:50,285
Okay, come on.
105
00:08:50,287 --> 00:08:52,286
Now lose the poms,
let's try a pyramid.
106
00:08:52,288 --> 00:08:54,389
Girls, you just watch,
okay?
107
00:08:54,391 --> 00:08:55,823
This is
how it's done.
108
00:08:55,825 --> 00:08:57,825
Whatever you do,
don't let your hands slip.
109
00:08:57,827 --> 00:08:59,026
A cheerleader
two years ago
110
00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:00,461
got accidentally
vaginally penetrated.
111
00:09:00,463 --> 00:09:02,863
Oh my god, that must've
hurt like a bitch!
112
00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:03,865
No, she
liked it.
113
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,000
So, please,
be careful.
114
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,068
The last thing you need
is to inadvertently discover
115
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:09,069
that you like being fisted
by another cheerleader
116
00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:10,872
during your last year
of high school.
117
00:09:10,874 --> 00:09:12,143
Like I did.
118
00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:16,477
Steady.
119
00:09:16,479 --> 00:09:17,578
Strong arms,
strong arms!
120
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:18,413
Steady!
121
00:09:20,550 --> 00:09:24,321
Uh, is everyone's
vagina okay?
122
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,920
What happened
to your uniform?
123
00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,589
Why'd you
cover it up?
124
00:09:28,591 --> 00:09:31,458
I... just, um...
125
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,328
Well, it's amazing.
126
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,929
I think it's really
commendable for a girl like you
127
00:09:35,931 --> 00:09:38,268
to not worry about
embarrassing herself.
128
00:09:41,003 --> 00:09:42,136
What are you
looking at?
129
00:09:42,138 --> 00:09:44,238
They're skipping
the first day of school
130
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,875
to practice
a cheer.
131
00:09:46,508 --> 00:09:48,211
I wish I could
do that.
132
00:09:49,079 --> 00:09:50,578
They're all bitches.
133
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:53,514
Maybe they're just
ambitious and misunderstood.
134
00:09:53,516 --> 00:09:55,482
Like most bitches.
135
00:09:55,484 --> 00:09:58,086
Do you want to
try out for cheer squad?
136
00:09:58,088 --> 00:10:00,154
I have an in
if you want it.
137
00:10:00,156 --> 00:10:01,521
It's today though.
138
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:04,058
It's sort of
an initiation thing.
139
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,559
What do
I have to do?
140
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:06,493
Today.
141
00:10:06,495 --> 00:10:08,128
After school.
142
00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:10,298
Boys' Locker room.
143
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,900
Boys' locker room?
144
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,633
Don't worry.
145
00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:15,336
It's just a...
DNA thing.
146
00:10:17,474 --> 00:10:18,906
I'll be there.
147
00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,474
And take off
the hoodie.
148
00:10:20,476 --> 00:10:22,612
You should be proud
of who you are.
149
00:10:30,519 --> 00:10:32,620
I'm totally rocking
a boner right now.
150
00:10:32,622 --> 00:10:33,554
Ugh!
151
00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:34,955
I don't
do your boner.
152
00:10:34,957 --> 00:10:35,555
You know that.
153
00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:37,592
I have standards.
154
00:10:37,594 --> 00:10:39,196
But I'm
your boyfriend.
155
00:10:40,397 --> 00:10:41,063
Fine.
156
00:10:41,065 --> 00:10:43,030
Whip it out,
let me see.
157
00:10:43,032 --> 00:10:46,133
Is it a polish sausage
or a veggie dog?
158
00:10:46,135 --> 00:10:48,104
It's a Polish
sausage.
159
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:51,139
Oh, I forgot.
160
00:10:51,141 --> 00:10:52,306
I'm a vegetarian.
161
00:10:52,909 --> 00:10:54,944
Okay,
what's the plan?
162
00:10:55,678 --> 00:10:58,512
If you wanna be a cheerleader,
you need to familiarize yourself
163
00:10:58,514 --> 00:11:01,315
with getting the DNA
of all the boys in our school
164
00:11:01,317 --> 00:11:04,285
in your mouth.
165
00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:06,253
Where are
the cheerleaders?
166
00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:08,289
They don't operate
on this level.
167
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:11,325
This is to weed out all the
ones without cheer spirit.
168
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:14,027
Does anyone have any
objections to me taping this?
169
00:11:14,029 --> 00:11:17,231
The squad's
requested a recording.
170
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,466
No?
171
00:11:18,468 --> 00:11:21,703
Robbie, start recording.
172
00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:25,305
Today, to prove
you have cheer spirit,
173
00:11:25,307 --> 00:11:28,979
you will lick
the shower floor.
174
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,045
But we could
get athlete's foot!
175
00:11:32,047 --> 00:11:33,314
In our mouths.
176
00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:35,415
Athlete's foot
is just fungus.
177
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:38,319
Does anyone here really
hate mushrooms that much?
178
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:40,387
I like shiitake
mushrooms, actually.
179
00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:42,191
They're really good
in Asian soups.
180
00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:48,161
Okay, so who's
gonna go first?
181
00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,296
I'll have
you know
182
00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:51,501
the first girl to volunteer
last year made squad.
183
00:11:53,635 --> 00:11:55,737
I'll go first.
184
00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:11,785
I don't think I like
the taste of DNA.
185
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:22,063
Oh my god.
186
00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:23,765
That was so good,
did you get it?
187
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,531
Yeah.
188
00:12:39,516 --> 00:12:40,548
What are you
doing?
189
00:12:42,451 --> 00:12:45,685
Uh-disinfecting!
190
00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:48,622
Okay, we do not
tolerate troublemakers
191
00:12:48,624 --> 00:12:50,091
here at Parc
Secondary.
192
00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:51,726
I'm not a troublemaker,
I'm a victim!
193
00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,227
No,
you're a drunk!
194
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:54,362
He's a drunk!
195
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:55,796
I'm drunk,
not a drunk.
196
00:12:55,798 --> 00:12:57,397
It's a verb,
not a noun.
197
00:12:57,399 --> 00:12:58,366
Okay,
you know what?
198
00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:00,601
After this here,
we're going to have a talk
199
00:13:00,603 --> 00:13:02,170
about you
being fired.
200
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,237
Okay.
201
00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:06,540
I've called
all of your parents.
202
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:09,209
You'll be suspended
for two weeks.
203
00:13:09,211 --> 00:13:11,445
All of you
troublemakers!
204
00:13:12,181 --> 00:13:13,814
Oh, you think
that's funny?
205
00:13:13,816 --> 00:13:17,184
We have a special program
for suspended students.
206
00:13:17,186 --> 00:13:19,152
Community service.
207
00:13:19,154 --> 00:13:21,255
I hope you like
old people.
208
00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:21,689
What?
209
00:13:21,691 --> 00:13:22,223
Ugh.
210
00:13:22,225 --> 00:13:23,760
Old people?
211
00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:26,196
Shit.
212
00:13:26,863 --> 00:13:28,628
Oh, shit, Mom!
213
00:13:49,551 --> 00:13:52,219
You have
one new message.
214
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:53,354
Hi, there,
Ms. Willis.
215
00:13:53,356 --> 00:13:56,457
This is Principal Firestone
calling from Parc Secondary.
216
00:13:56,459 --> 00:13:57,357
We're just calling...
217
00:13:57,359 --> 00:13:58,859
Deleted.
218
00:13:58,861 --> 00:13:59,829
Hey!
219
00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:02,132
What are you
wearing?
220
00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:03,767
Nothing.
221
00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:07,203
Open the hoodie.
222
00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:12,573
Absolutely not!
223
00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:14,775
No, you will not
be a cheerleader.
224
00:14:14,777 --> 00:14:15,843
Why?
You were.
225
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,612
You're not cheerleader material
like I was, okay.
226
00:14:18,614 --> 00:14:21,518
You need to be aware
of your limitations.
227
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:26,654
They made fun of you,
didn't they?
228
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:27,322
No.
229
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,856
They asked me
to join squad.
230
00:14:28,858 --> 00:14:30,857
Do I look like
an idiot to you?
231
00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:31,492
Sometimes.
232
00:14:31,494 --> 00:14:32,226
Irene!
233
00:14:32,228 --> 00:14:33,763
Actually,
most of the time.
234
00:14:35,264 --> 00:14:38,299
I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself, okay?
235
00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:39,900
'Cause you're
at the age now when,
236
00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:43,538
you know, bad experiences they...
stay with you.
237
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:45,372
Why didn't you
just ask your boyfriend
238
00:14:45,374 --> 00:14:46,873
to pull out
before he finished?!
239
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,675
That's disgusting!
240
00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:49,676
I'm disgusting?
241
00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,511
I'm not the one who had
nasty unprotected sex
242
00:14:51,513 --> 00:14:53,783
in the back
of a pick up truck.
243
00:14:54,816 --> 00:14:56,784
It was
a Honda Civic!
244
00:15:50,273 --> 00:15:51,274
Hi.
245
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,641
Hi.
246
00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:59,646
So I've been thinking... um,
maybe there is another
247
00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:03,918
school program that would be
more appropriate for you.
248
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,222
Like what?
249
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:07,390
Chess Club.
250
00:16:08,023 --> 00:16:08,923
Hmm?
251
00:16:08,925 --> 00:16:11,025
I haven't played chess
in my entire life.
252
00:16:11,027 --> 00:16:12,329
You can learn.
253
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:16,963
Okay, fine, how about
stamp collecting?
254
00:16:16,965 --> 00:16:18,833
Stamp collecting?
255
00:16:18,835 --> 00:16:21,935
Okay-uh,
bicycle club.
256
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,271
Bicycles?
257
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,039
That's not even
a real club, Mom.
258
00:16:25,707 --> 00:16:27,440
Debate team.
259
00:16:27,442 --> 00:16:28,946
You love to fight
with me!
260
00:16:29,878 --> 00:16:31,679
Why fight
when I can cheer?
261
00:16:31,681 --> 00:16:33,546
Oh, god.
262
00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:36,483
Irene, do you have to have
a comeback for everything?
263
00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:37,918
Yes.
264
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,624
Well, then, goodnight.
265
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:47,795
Today is the worst day
in the history of days.
266
00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:50,631
Think of it this way,
when you hit rock bottom
267
00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:52,433
on your first day
of high school,
268
00:16:52,435 --> 00:16:54,468
you have no place to go,
but up!
269
00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:56,503
I wish you were my mother,
Geena Davis.
270
00:16:56,505 --> 00:16:57,905
I'm your God.
271
00:16:57,907 --> 00:16:59,774
Isn't that enough?
272
00:16:59,776 --> 00:17:00,641
No.
273
00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:01,775
God damnit.
274
00:17:01,777 --> 00:17:03,647
Teenagers
are never satisfied.
275
00:17:39,982 --> 00:17:42,383
I can't
pick you up until 4:30.
276
00:17:42,385 --> 00:17:44,385
Fine. Whatever.
277
00:17:44,387 --> 00:17:46,486
What's this eye make up
you have on?
278
00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:47,422
It's new.
279
00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:50,523
It makes you look like
a Slovakian hooker.
280
00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:53,793
You look at me
when I'm talking to you!
281
00:17:53,795 --> 00:17:55,032
Get out
of my car.
282
00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:01,469
I don't think you
look like a Slovakian hooker,
283
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,069
but I've never really
been to Slovakia.
284
00:18:03,071 --> 00:18:04,105
Don't talk
to me.
285
00:18:04,107 --> 00:18:05,705
Does your mom
know you're suspended?
286
00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:07,707
My Mom's not very
nice to me either,
287
00:18:07,709 --> 00:18:09,710
so at least we have
something in common!
288
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:12,146
Do you want to walk
to the retirement home together?
289
00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:13,313
You're worse
than rabies.
290
00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:16,916
Actually, rabies is curable
with antibiotics and rest.
291
00:18:16,918 --> 00:18:18,418
Not that bad!
292
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:19,819
You should
be a lesbian.
293
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:22,490
Only lesbians are into
weird fat chicks.
294
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,824
I'll look
into it!
295
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:25,526
Thanks for
the tip.
296
00:18:27,696 --> 00:18:28,928
Okay, kids,
297
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:31,632
welcome to
Mapleview Retirement Home.
298
00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:33,466
A place to relax
and enjoy
299
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:35,435
your final years
after retirement.
300
00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:37,104
Screw ups,
follow me.
301
00:18:37,106 --> 00:18:38,271
Screw up?
302
00:18:38,273 --> 00:18:40,774
I'm not the one employed by a
retirement home, girlfriend.
303
00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:42,409
Don't make me
slap you.
304
00:18:42,411 --> 00:18:44,011
I have no qualms
about slapping teenagers.
305
00:18:44,013 --> 00:18:44,677
It's legal.
306
00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:45,578
I checked.
307
00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:48,115
Were we supposed to
see that?
308
00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:49,482
Yes.
309
00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:50,684
For the next
two weeks,
310
00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:53,988
I want you to report promptly
to me at 9am.
311
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:56,190
When you hear the bell
next door at 3:30,
312
00:18:56,192 --> 00:18:57,992
that is your cue
to go.
313
00:18:57,994 --> 00:19:00,493
But for those six
and a half hours,
314
00:19:00,495 --> 00:19:03,664
your juvenile asses
are mine.
315
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,866
That is not at all
inappropriate...
316
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,971
Oh, here comes
trouble.
317
00:19:09,438 --> 00:19:11,739
Can I get another Vicodin,
maybe two?
318
00:19:11,741 --> 00:19:12,940
Ruth, you know
the rules.
319
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,142
I gave you one
when you first got up.
320
00:19:15,144 --> 00:19:17,544
You're going to have to wait
another 4 hours.
321
00:19:17,546 --> 00:19:19,146
But I'll be dead
in four hours!
322
00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:21,618
Well,
we'll deal with it!
323
00:19:22,918 --> 00:19:23,716
Got any pot?
324
00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:24,217
Ruth!
325
00:19:24,219 --> 00:19:25,919
Go to
your room!
326
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:26,922
Go.
327
00:19:28,657 --> 00:19:31,157
No one takes any
risks anymore.
328
00:19:31,159 --> 00:19:35,930
I love my life. I love my life.
I love my life. Love my life.
329
00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:37,932
I love my life.
I love my life.
330
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,770
I see.
331
00:19:42,772 --> 00:19:44,972
This is the waiting room
for the funeral home.
332
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:45,973
Shut up.
333
00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:48,975
Okay, these are your supplies
for your chore:
334
00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:51,180
removing this
hideous wallpaper.
335
00:19:53,182 --> 00:19:54,117
Oh.
336
00:20:07,263 --> 00:20:09,262
I can't stand
the smell in here!
337
00:20:09,264 --> 00:20:12,199
It smells like rotten tomatoes
meets tooth decay.
338
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:15,569
Hundreds audition,
but only one will win.
339
00:20:15,571 --> 00:20:18,271
Total Talent Showdown.
340
00:20:18,273 --> 00:20:20,107
Who's gonna make it
to round 7?
341
00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:21,975
Who's gonna
get cut?
342
00:20:21,977 --> 00:20:24,980
Find out after
this commercial break.
343
00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:32,685
Is this what you do
all day?
344
00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:34,888
What else
is there to do?
345
00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:36,857
You could
go outside?
346
00:20:36,859 --> 00:20:38,526
Or go to
the mall?
347
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,230
The bus driver quit,
dear.
348
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,898
I think I want to die
before I get old.
349
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,068
No offense.
350
00:20:58,147 --> 00:20:59,646
You're terrifying.
351
00:20:59,648 --> 00:21:00,649
Thank you.
352
00:21:02,551 --> 00:21:03,585
I didn't actually
mean that.
353
00:21:03,587 --> 00:21:05,752
Have you ever noticed that
really scary people
354
00:21:05,754 --> 00:21:08,021
like serial killers
always look normal?
355
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,893
So I avoid all people wearing
pleated khakis and golf shirts.
356
00:21:13,295 --> 00:21:14,861
I'm gonna
go eat now.
357
00:21:14,863 --> 00:21:15,695
Yeah,
you do that.
358
00:21:15,697 --> 00:21:17,665
You should find
a new bus driver.
359
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,666
People need to
get away from this place.
360
00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:22,069
The only people who have
bus licenses in this town
361
00:21:22,071 --> 00:21:24,640
are drunks
and pedophiles.
362
00:21:25,907 --> 00:21:26,906
Can I sit
here?
363
00:21:26,908 --> 00:21:28,210
Of course, dear.
364
00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:31,247
That's Millie.
365
00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:34,682
She likes cashmere turtlenecks,
she's sexually frustrated
366
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,119
and she has no idea
what day it is.
367
00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:43,257
I like hoodies, I'm a virgin,
and it's Tuesday.
368
00:21:43,259 --> 00:21:45,091
I know
it's Tuesday.
369
00:21:45,093 --> 00:21:46,659
She ridicules me.
370
00:21:46,661 --> 00:21:48,928
It's non stop.
371
00:21:48,930 --> 00:21:52,132
Irene's totally going to grow up
to be one of those dumpy women
372
00:21:52,134 --> 00:21:54,768
who own a kennel on the
outskirts of town.
373
00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:57,771
That's like...
a metaphor.
374
00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:00,206
She's the fecal matter
in motel rooms
375
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,943
that you can only see
with an infrared light.
376
00:22:02,945 --> 00:22:04,177
That's a metaphor.
377
00:22:04,179 --> 00:22:08,317
She's like a dog's butthole
that swells every time it barks.
378
00:22:09,185 --> 00:22:10,850
Actually,
that's a simile.
379
00:22:10,852 --> 00:22:12,121
Not a metaphor.
380
00:22:16,859 --> 00:22:18,160
New resident!
381
00:22:18,894 --> 00:22:20,030
Don't touch me!
382
00:22:24,332 --> 00:22:28,769
...sell my house, dump
me in a place like this?
383
00:22:28,771 --> 00:22:30,169
He looks single.
384
00:22:30,171 --> 00:22:31,271
Hope he's
a widower.
385
00:22:31,273 --> 00:22:33,040
They're great
in the sack.
386
00:22:33,042 --> 00:22:34,375
That doesn't even
make sense.
387
00:22:34,377 --> 00:22:37,176
Nothing's hotter
than a grieving lover.
388
00:22:37,178 --> 00:22:40,947
Hello, welcome, welcome!
389
00:22:40,949 --> 00:22:43,651
Good afternoon,
Mr. Preston.
390
00:22:46,755 --> 00:22:49,124
I think we're gonna need
a little bit of privacy.
391
00:22:52,061 --> 00:22:54,861
Charles Preston, my name is
Barrett Harbinson and I'm...
392
00:22:54,863 --> 00:22:55,898
Fuck you.
393
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,636
I like
this one.
394
00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:03,337
You're in room 9,
which is just down the hall,
395
00:23:03,339 --> 00:23:06,173
uh, if you don't mind,
I'll take you there right now.
396
00:23:06,175 --> 00:23:07,774
If there's
an emergency,
397
00:23:07,776 --> 00:23:10,743
just press the red "help"
button in your bedroom.
398
00:23:10,745 --> 00:23:14,213
And if you can't get up,
just pull the string.
399
00:23:14,215 --> 00:23:15,315
Enjoy your stay.
400
00:23:15,317 --> 00:23:17,087
I hope it's
a long one.
401
00:23:17,986 --> 00:23:19,188
Bye for now.
402
00:23:24,793 --> 00:23:26,193
For just fifty dollars,
403
00:23:26,195 --> 00:23:27,828
a palette for
all skin tones.
404
00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:31,197
It's a long wear lipstick,
405
00:23:31,199 --> 00:23:33,434
I'm gonna add a
little bit more right here.
406
00:23:33,436 --> 00:23:35,435
Just a touch.
407
00:23:35,437 --> 00:23:36,303
Perfect!
408
00:23:36,305 --> 00:23:39,272
Irene, being on
the cheerleading squad
409
00:23:39,274 --> 00:23:42,142
is about representing the
school, you know what I mean?
410
00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:43,309
Yeah!
411
00:23:43,311 --> 00:23:44,877
Which is why only the best
dancers get to join squad...
412
00:23:44,879 --> 00:23:47,748
No, it's about
representation.
413
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,349
Would you eat at a restaurant
that had an ugly facade
414
00:23:50,351 --> 00:23:53,220
and never washed
their windows?
415
00:23:53,222 --> 00:23:54,421
If the food
was good.
416
00:23:54,423 --> 00:23:55,191
Exactly.
417
00:23:56,024 --> 00:23:58,024
My point is that
you eat too much.
418
00:23:58,026 --> 00:24:00,993
What made you actually think
you could be a cheerleader?
419
00:24:00,995 --> 00:24:02,162
You're fat.
420
00:24:02,164 --> 00:24:03,864
Yeah, everyone would
be afraid to lift you!
421
00:24:03,866 --> 00:24:05,432
Hey, you!
422
00:24:05,434 --> 00:24:08,202
Leave her alone,
you little chihuahua.
423
00:24:08,204 --> 00:24:09,802
Chihuahua?
424
00:24:09,804 --> 00:24:10,803
You're gonna
die soon.
425
00:24:10,805 --> 00:24:13,339
Not soon enough,
when I meet bitches like you.
426
00:24:13,341 --> 00:24:15,041
Suck your
mother's cock.
427
00:24:15,043 --> 00:24:17,847
I'd try, but your mother's
in the way.
428
00:24:19,314 --> 00:24:21,183
Don't fuck
with me.
429
00:24:22,184 --> 00:24:24,084
What is going on here?
430
00:24:24,086 --> 00:24:25,886
What the hell
is this place?
431
00:24:25,888 --> 00:24:27,791
It's the place
you're gonna die.
432
00:24:38,466 --> 00:24:41,100
Hi, Chuck.
433
00:24:41,102 --> 00:24:42,235
What are you
doing?
434
00:24:42,237 --> 00:24:45,340
I was thinking of giving
myself a lobotomy with this pen.
435
00:24:46,908 --> 00:24:47,776
Cool.
436
00:24:49,177 --> 00:24:50,543
Can I help you
unpack?
437
00:24:53,048 --> 00:24:53,950
Okay.
438
00:24:58,419 --> 00:25:00,223
You were
a boxer!
439
00:25:00,822 --> 00:25:01,791
Cool!
440
00:25:07,929 --> 00:25:09,932
Is this a picture
of your wife, Chuck?
441
00:25:11,132 --> 00:25:12,801
She's sexy.
442
00:25:13,202 --> 00:25:15,772
You have no idea
what this is like.
443
00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:20,139
Moving into this place where
you know you're gonna die.
444
00:25:20,141 --> 00:25:21,508
I do know.
445
00:25:21,510 --> 00:25:23,510
High school
started yesterday.
446
00:25:23,512 --> 00:25:26,180
And besides,
you might not die in here.
447
00:25:26,182 --> 00:25:30,117
My grandpa was hit by a delivery
truck outside of a laundromat.
448
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,284
You're very sexy.
449
00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:34,256
If I had a penis, I'd probably
have wet dreams about you.
450
00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:37,057
But I want to avoid
sex altogether
451
00:25:37,059 --> 00:25:38,858
until I'm more established
in my career.
452
00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:40,894
Can you just
leave me alone?
453
00:25:40,896 --> 00:25:43,496
Intelligent women throughout
history settle into marriages
454
00:25:43,498 --> 00:25:46,032
and never achieve
their own goals!
455
00:25:46,034 --> 00:25:48,167
Have you ever
heard of Einstein?
456
00:25:48,169 --> 00:25:50,169
Ah-never
heard of him.
457
00:25:50,171 --> 00:25:51,204
He was married.
458
00:25:51,206 --> 00:25:54,607
She was a scientist,
she gave it all up for him.
459
00:25:54,609 --> 00:25:57,211
And then he left her
for his own cousin.
460
00:25:57,213 --> 00:25:59,011
Can you imagine?
461
00:25:59,013 --> 00:26:01,348
Your husband cheats on you
to commit incest?
462
00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:04,020
That's, like,
the ultimate insult.
463
00:26:06,254 --> 00:26:07,553
Oh my god!
464
00:26:07,555 --> 00:26:09,923
We're in
a church!
465
00:26:09,925 --> 00:26:12,392
Are you in
special ed?
466
00:26:12,394 --> 00:26:13,460
No.
467
00:26:13,462 --> 00:26:15,596
'Cause you're going to end up
in a mental hospital.
468
00:26:15,598 --> 00:26:17,463
You're aware of that,
right?
469
00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:20,099
No, I'm gonna end up
on a football field.
470
00:26:20,101 --> 00:26:21,902
And why
is that?
471
00:26:21,904 --> 00:26:23,173
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader.
472
00:26:24,406 --> 00:26:26,906
Have you looked
in a mirror lately?
473
00:26:26,908 --> 00:26:28,177
Have you?
474
00:26:29,378 --> 00:26:32,378
You're old and you kind of
smell like an empty pickle jar.
475
00:26:32,380 --> 00:26:35,648
If I blur my eyes,
you look Veronica.
476
00:26:35,650 --> 00:26:37,584
Who's Veronica?
477
00:26:37,586 --> 00:26:41,454
She's my pet maggot my mom
made me flush down the toilet.
478
00:26:41,456 --> 00:26:42,889
Can I get you
anything
479
00:26:42,891 --> 00:26:45,524
to make your stay
more comfortable, Chuck?
480
00:26:45,526 --> 00:26:47,994
Vodka.
481
00:26:49,497 --> 00:26:50,165
Hmm.
482
00:26:54,168 --> 00:26:56,435
How am I ever gonna
become a cheerleader
483
00:26:56,437 --> 00:26:58,371
when I'm stuck
at a retirement home?
484
00:26:58,373 --> 00:27:00,907
You could do
anything anywhere, Irene.
485
00:27:00,909 --> 00:27:02,174
With anyone.
486
00:27:02,176 --> 00:27:04,944
Cheerleading is just
dance choreography.
487
00:27:04,946 --> 00:27:06,379
Think about that.
488
00:27:06,381 --> 00:27:07,647
Okay.
489
00:27:07,649 --> 00:27:11,318
Irene, you realize you're
talking to a poster, right?
490
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,985
Yeah.
491
00:27:12,987 --> 00:27:13,986
Okay.
492
00:27:13,988 --> 00:27:15,521
Just checking.
493
00:27:37,346 --> 00:27:38,513
Hey!
494
00:27:39,615 --> 00:27:41,615
What are you doing
in the living room?
495
00:27:41,617 --> 00:27:43,716
It's only for
special occasions.
496
00:27:43,718 --> 00:27:46,353
Why can't we just live
in the living room, Mom?
497
00:27:46,355 --> 00:27:48,355
Because!
498
00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:50,723
Living stains.
499
00:27:59,267 --> 00:28:02,435
I heard about your suspension,
you shit disturber.
500
00:28:02,437 --> 00:28:04,236
Aren't you
supposed to be in class?
501
00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:06,505
Listen, don't get suspended
from the retirement home
502
00:28:06,507 --> 00:28:08,674
like you got
from school.
503
00:28:08,676 --> 00:28:11,377
How do you get suspended
from a retirement home?
504
00:28:11,379 --> 00:28:13,180
You die.
505
00:28:19,355 --> 00:28:21,154
...come on down,
prices so low
506
00:28:21,156 --> 00:28:23,522
you'll think
you're in another century.
507
00:28:23,524 --> 00:28:25,759
These cars are going
for practically nothing!
508
00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:28,228
No payments
for 12 months.
509
00:28:28,230 --> 00:28:30,563
Don't wait!
510
00:28:30,565 --> 00:28:33,666
Next up: we have
a dance crew all the way from
511
00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:39,306
St. John's, Newfoundland who
call themselves "Tight Fusion".
512
00:28:39,308 --> 00:28:41,273
Now, they've advanced
2 rounds,
513
00:28:41,275 --> 00:28:44,411
but is tonight the night
that they go home?
514
00:28:44,413 --> 00:28:45,715
Let's find out.
515
00:28:48,183 --> 00:28:50,049
5, 6, 7, 8.
516
00:28:50,051 --> 00:28:54,253
1, 2, 3 and 4,
5 and 6, 7 and 8.
517
00:28:54,255 --> 00:28:54,721
Woo!
518
00:28:54,723 --> 00:28:55,789
Okay.
519
00:28:55,791 --> 00:29:00,726
1, 2, 3, 4,
5 and 6 and 7, 8.
520
00:29:00,728 --> 00:29:01,461
Okay, good.
521
00:29:01,463 --> 00:29:02,328
Let's try it again,
though.
522
00:29:02,330 --> 00:29:04,330
Um, a little more
spirit this time.
523
00:29:04,332 --> 00:29:05,366
Okay, ready?
524
00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:08,100
The stage is being set
for the next season
525
00:29:08,102 --> 00:29:10,337
of Total Talent
Showdown.
526
00:29:10,339 --> 00:29:13,507
All you need is
a special talent.
527
00:29:13,509 --> 00:29:15,742
Come on,
grab your crew.
528
00:29:15,744 --> 00:29:18,177
We're looking for people
of all ages.
529
00:29:18,179 --> 00:29:19,812
Anyone can be
on the show.
530
00:29:19,814 --> 00:29:24,152
All you need is talent and
the need to show it off.
531
00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:28,221
5, 6, 7, 8.
532
00:29:34,062 --> 00:29:36,296
Cheerleading is like
having protective armour.
533
00:29:36,298 --> 00:29:38,098
If you're a cheerleader,
you're in harmony
534
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,067
with those
surrounding you.
535
00:29:40,069 --> 00:29:42,269
Do we have anything
to cut this with, sweetie?
536
00:29:42,271 --> 00:29:44,104
It's a bit
strong.
537
00:29:44,106 --> 00:29:45,704
I'm gonna
show you something.
538
00:29:45,706 --> 00:29:46,772
Are you ready,
guys?
539
00:29:46,774 --> 00:29:49,175
Follow my movements,
'kay?
540
00:29:49,177 --> 00:29:50,577
Okay,
come on you guys.
541
00:29:50,579 --> 00:29:52,178
Keep going,
we gotta get warm.
542
00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:54,181
Running in place
is so much work!
543
00:29:54,183 --> 00:29:56,715
Oh my...
oh my god.
544
00:29:56,717 --> 00:29:58,487
What is she
doing?
545
00:30:02,491 --> 00:30:05,091
We'll scrape you up
like dental plaque.
546
00:30:05,093 --> 00:30:06,725
Did you by any chance,
sniff glue
547
00:30:06,727 --> 00:30:10,129
when you got up
this morning, sweetie?
548
00:30:10,131 --> 00:30:11,764
Okay,
follow my movements.
549
00:30:11,766 --> 00:30:12,768
Ready?
550
00:30:15,736 --> 00:30:17,773
We have nothing
to cheer for.
551
00:30:22,477 --> 00:30:24,478
No one cheers for anything
in this town,
552
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,414
except for the Parc High
Cheerleaders.
553
00:30:27,416 --> 00:30:30,750
Parc High is good to go, have
you seen our possums throw?
554
00:30:30,752 --> 00:30:32,853
We'll roll you
like you're pastry-o!
555
00:30:32,855 --> 00:30:33,552
Woo!
556
00:30:33,554 --> 00:30:35,187
Now, follow me.
557
00:30:35,189 --> 00:30:37,523
Ugh,
that was so good!
558
00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:40,162
I can't do
what those girls do!
559
00:30:41,295 --> 00:30:42,631
Can't we try?
560
00:30:43,264 --> 00:30:44,097
That was good!
561
00:30:44,099 --> 00:30:45,665
Just, I wanna hear
that snap, okay?
562
00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:47,466
Let's do it together
one more time.
563
00:30:47,468 --> 00:30:49,569
A 5, 6, 7, 8.
564
00:30:49,571 --> 00:30:52,371
Parc High is good to go, have
you seen our...
565
00:30:52,373 --> 00:30:53,507
Ah...
566
00:30:53,509 --> 00:30:55,674
We'll roll you
like you're pastry-o!
567
00:30:55,676 --> 00:30:58,377
Woo!
568
00:30:58,379 --> 00:31:00,280
Let's try again.
569
00:31:00,282 --> 00:31:02,482
But we've retired,
dear.
570
00:31:02,484 --> 00:31:04,153
From everything.
571
00:31:04,619 --> 00:31:06,319
So you're just gonna
give up?
572
00:31:06,321 --> 00:31:08,355
Just because
we're not like them?
573
00:31:08,357 --> 00:31:09,225
Yes.
574
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,262
...across, open,
around and snap.
575
00:31:16,264 --> 00:31:17,931
Good job, guys!
576
00:31:18,934 --> 00:31:22,935
Cross, open, nails, nails, head,
around and snap.
577
00:31:22,937 --> 00:31:23,872
That was good!
578
00:31:44,525 --> 00:31:46,459
No one wants
a fat cheerleader.
579
00:31:46,461 --> 00:31:48,194
I'm just gonna
embarrass myself.
580
00:31:48,196 --> 00:31:50,797
Don't worry about
embarrassing yourself.
581
00:31:50,799 --> 00:31:55,335
I was in a movie called "Earth
Girls Are Easy" and I survived.
582
00:31:55,337 --> 00:31:57,470
Irene, you cannot
waste time worrying
583
00:31:57,472 --> 00:31:59,705
about what you think
you see in the mirror.
584
00:31:59,707 --> 00:32:01,473
That's easy
for you to say.
585
00:32:01,475 --> 00:32:02,742
You look good
in a leotard.
586
00:32:02,744 --> 00:32:06,346
When I was your age,
I was the tallest kid in class.
587
00:32:06,348 --> 00:32:07,880
It was always
my greatest dream
588
00:32:07,882 --> 00:32:10,482
to take up less space
in the world.
589
00:32:11,019 --> 00:32:12,085
I know that
well.
590
00:32:12,087 --> 00:32:13,986
But there were
better dreams to have.
591
00:32:13,988 --> 00:32:16,990
It took me a while to realize
I'd rather be over someone
592
00:32:16,992 --> 00:32:18,625
than under them.
593
00:32:18,627 --> 00:32:22,229
Yeah, why can't life
just be easy?
594
00:32:22,231 --> 00:32:23,430
It should be.
595
00:32:23,432 --> 00:32:26,332
Those people who say you
can't be beautiful and fat?
596
00:32:26,334 --> 00:32:29,001
Tell them they could all
suck my dick.
597
00:32:29,003 --> 00:32:30,537
You have
a dick?
598
00:32:30,539 --> 00:32:31,805
I'm Geena Davis.
599
00:32:31,807 --> 00:32:33,843
I have everything.
600
00:32:56,497 --> 00:32:57,963
Hi.
601
00:32:57,965 --> 00:32:59,465
Are you
a boy today?
602
00:32:59,467 --> 00:33:02,335
No,
I'm Annie Hall.
603
00:33:02,337 --> 00:33:05,472
Anyway, I saw you
and those old people yesterday.
604
00:33:05,474 --> 00:33:07,473
If you're gonna insult me,
just do it.
605
00:33:07,475 --> 00:33:09,908
I don't like all the
build up before it.
606
00:33:09,910 --> 00:33:12,345
You wanna be
a cheerleader, yeah?
607
00:33:12,347 --> 00:33:13,512
Not
a punk one.
608
00:33:13,514 --> 00:33:14,583
A real one.
609
00:33:15,951 --> 00:33:17,017
You just
need music!
610
00:33:23,925 --> 00:33:25,058
Hey, guys.
611
00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:26,859
Can you point her
in the direction
612
00:33:26,861 --> 00:33:28,560
of some good
dance music?
613
00:33:28,562 --> 00:33:29,963
She needs quality.
614
00:33:29,965 --> 00:33:32,065
Vinyl, I'm assuming?
615
00:33:32,067 --> 00:33:33,599
I was actually
thinking something
616
00:33:33,601 --> 00:33:35,501
more like
audio cassette.
617
00:33:35,503 --> 00:33:38,338
Oh,
you're a real hipster.
618
00:33:39,507 --> 00:33:41,808
Oh, keep your money, I put
those tapes where they belong.
619
00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:42,578
Come on.
620
00:33:47,482 --> 00:33:49,883
You seem a little bit
too comfortable here.
621
00:33:49,885 --> 00:33:52,484
Garbage is kind of
my comfort zone.
622
00:33:52,987 --> 00:33:54,221
Amazing.
623
00:33:54,223 --> 00:33:57,589
Oh, this is all you need, Euro
dance music from the early 90s.
624
00:33:57,591 --> 00:33:59,792
This is like oxygen
for the people who wear
625
00:33:59,794 --> 00:34:01,730
high-waisted jeans
and thick belts.
626
00:34:02,964 --> 00:34:05,831
The good thing about tapes
is that they don't scratch.
627
00:34:05,833 --> 00:34:08,768
Then why'd you throw them
in the garbage?
628
00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:09,902
They didn't sell.
629
00:34:09,904 --> 00:34:12,641
Well, aren't things people
throw away better anyways?
630
00:34:13,741 --> 00:34:15,844
Maybe I should give
these tapes another listen.
631
00:34:18,846 --> 00:34:21,715
Irene,
you have the music,
632
00:34:21,717 --> 00:34:24,717
now you must give birth
to your dream
633
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,554
and remember the path to
cheerleading
634
00:34:27,556 --> 00:34:29,456
will not be
a straight one.
635
00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:30,523
In what way?
636
00:34:30,525 --> 00:34:31,757
I can't be clear.
637
00:34:31,759 --> 00:34:33,927
I'm your mentor,
I must be confusing.
638
00:34:35,864 --> 00:34:37,663
Who you
talking to?
639
00:34:37,665 --> 00:34:39,965
I'm just having
a conversation.
640
00:34:39,967 --> 00:34:41,934
With yourself?
641
00:34:41,936 --> 00:34:43,069
Geena Davis.
642
00:34:43,071 --> 00:34:44,503
What?
643
00:34:44,505 --> 00:34:45,473
Myself.
644
00:34:47,808 --> 00:34:50,677
Alright.
645
00:34:54,949 --> 00:34:56,949
You know
your friend Tesh?
646
00:34:56,951 --> 00:34:58,485
Tesh is weird.
647
00:34:58,487 --> 00:34:59,719
Weird and smart.
648
00:34:59,721 --> 00:35:03,021
Tesh knows that when people like
you go out and do their thing,
649
00:35:03,023 --> 00:35:05,125
it pisses people
off.
650
00:35:05,127 --> 00:35:07,694
Now you've got music
and booze.
651
00:35:07,696 --> 00:35:10,163
Get those old folks
off their butts.
652
00:35:10,165 --> 00:35:12,766
But, I wanna be
a regular cheerleader
653
00:35:12,768 --> 00:35:14,567
not a
pissed off one.
654
00:35:14,569 --> 00:35:18,103
This town doesn't need
another regular cheerleader.
655
00:35:18,105 --> 00:35:20,575
This town
needs you.
656
00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:23,412
Thanks, Geena.
657
00:35:25,147 --> 00:35:27,413
It'll work.
658
00:35:27,415 --> 00:35:32,518
But I mean, I don't think
these people wanna do this.
659
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,520
I think we can
convince them.
660
00:35:34,522 --> 00:35:35,554
Really?
661
00:35:35,556 --> 00:35:38,690
Yeah, look at you,
you're sexy.
662
00:35:38,692 --> 00:35:40,125
Enjoy your
golden years
663
00:35:40,127 --> 00:35:44,431
at Florida's hottest
retirement destination.
664
00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:46,465
Hey, we were
watching that!
665
00:35:46,467 --> 00:35:47,866
You need to
move your bodies.
666
00:35:47,868 --> 00:35:50,203
Why the hell would we
want to do that?
667
00:35:50,205 --> 00:35:51,837
Because it's fun.
668
00:35:51,839 --> 00:35:54,706
We like to
watch television, dear.
669
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:56,576
I told you,
we've retired.
670
00:35:56,578 --> 00:35:57,846
We have
a proposal.
671
00:35:58,846 --> 00:35:59,915
Charles?
672
00:36:02,049 --> 00:36:04,018
Umm, 'kay.
673
00:36:07,022 --> 00:36:08,958
Who here
wants to dance?
674
00:36:13,994 --> 00:36:15,998
Who here wants to
dance with him?
675
00:36:18,065 --> 00:36:21,000
What I wanna do with
him isn't called dancing.
676
00:36:21,002 --> 00:36:24,003
I wanna smash
his pelvis into dust.
677
00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:30,909
That sounds dangerous.
678
00:36:32,214 --> 00:36:33,212
Come on, guys.
679
00:36:33,214 --> 00:36:34,082
Follow me.
680
00:36:35,784 --> 00:36:36,583
Shh!
681
00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:38,020
Hurry, come on!
682
00:36:44,726 --> 00:36:45,728
Great.
683
00:36:46,127 --> 00:36:47,226
Good.
684
00:36:47,228 --> 00:36:49,929
Follow my movements,
be my mirrors.
685
00:36:49,931 --> 00:36:52,931
Don't worry about being bad or
slow just follow best you can.
686
00:36:52,933 --> 00:36:55,235
5, 6, 7, 8.
687
00:36:55,237 --> 00:36:57,270
Hands
in the air.
688
00:36:57,272 --> 00:36:59,706
And spin.
689
00:36:59,708 --> 00:37:01,107
What the hell
is she doing?
690
00:37:01,109 --> 00:37:02,208
No. No.
691
00:37:02,210 --> 00:37:03,275
This can't
be happening.
692
00:37:03,277 --> 00:37:04,543
Where are we
going?
693
00:37:04,545 --> 00:37:05,980
We're gonna go
tell that homo.
694
00:37:08,782 --> 00:37:12,552
He's got the ass
of a 55 year old!
695
00:37:12,554 --> 00:37:13,953
This isn't bad.
696
00:37:13,955 --> 00:37:16,054
5, 4, 3, 2.
697
00:37:16,056 --> 00:37:17,657
This is choreography!
698
00:37:20,661 --> 00:37:23,228
And what the hell
is this?!
699
00:37:23,230 --> 00:37:25,130
Choreography.
700
00:37:25,132 --> 00:37:28,067
These people
are slowing down.
701
00:37:28,069 --> 00:37:31,036
Their bodies don't work
like they used to.
702
00:37:31,038 --> 00:37:32,838
I don't think
that's true!
703
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,641
Well, what if they're tired of
people like you always assuming
704
00:37:35,643 --> 00:37:38,244
they can't do something just
because of the way they look?
705
00:37:39,447 --> 00:37:42,916
Have you ever heard of this
little thing called arthritis?
706
00:37:42,918 --> 00:37:44,717
Is watching T.V.
and waiting to die
707
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:46,188
a cure
for arthritis?
708
00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:48,891
No.
709
00:37:49,123 --> 00:37:50,657
Come on, please?
710
00:37:50,659 --> 00:37:53,159
Oh, yes,
okay fine!
711
00:37:53,161 --> 00:37:54,960
Does that mean
we get to dance?
712
00:37:59,868 --> 00:38:00,768
Barrett.
713
00:38:01,902 --> 00:38:03,335
What the hell
is going on?
714
00:38:03,337 --> 00:38:05,871
Choreography, apparently.
715
00:38:05,873 --> 00:38:07,340
Is she allowed
to do this?
716
00:38:07,342 --> 00:38:09,041
Yes,
I stopped caring.
717
00:38:09,043 --> 00:38:10,009
It's been liberating,
actually.
718
00:38:10,011 --> 00:38:12,045
Although, I could do
without all this music.
719
00:38:12,047 --> 00:38:14,880
It reminds me
of happier times.
720
00:38:14,882 --> 00:38:16,181
Get back
to work!
721
00:38:16,851 --> 00:38:18,186
You too.
722
00:38:20,188 --> 00:38:22,288
Thank you,
where do I sign?
723
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,891
Oh, always at the bottom,
isn't it?
724
00:38:25,893 --> 00:38:27,726
Always
at the bottom.
725
00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:35,168
Residents, a reminder that
726
00:38:35,170 --> 00:38:38,206
the chapel will beclosed
'til further notice.
727
00:38:39,007 --> 00:38:42,641
It must be so sad to have no
self-awareness whatsoever.
728
00:38:42,643 --> 00:38:43,942
Doesn't sound
so bad.
729
00:38:43,944 --> 00:38:46,145
You'd never know
how sad it is.
730
00:38:46,147 --> 00:38:47,982
Hmm, well they
need to be reminded.
731
00:38:51,018 --> 00:38:53,087
That bitch
is staring at us.
732
00:38:54,889 --> 00:38:57,026
She's so lucky
to be that pretty.
733
00:38:57,391 --> 00:39:00,192
Just remember,
it's the whitest dogs
734
00:39:00,194 --> 00:39:04,130
always have the
dirtiest buttholes.
735
00:39:07,902 --> 00:39:10,869
Why you givin' me
this piece of meat, woman?
736
00:39:10,871 --> 00:39:12,308
They need
self-awareness.
737
00:39:14,942 --> 00:39:15,877
Do it.
738
00:39:30,058 --> 00:39:30,993
Eat it.
739
00:39:32,860 --> 00:39:39,065
Pick up the goddamn meat
and put it in your mouth.
740
00:39:39,067 --> 00:39:40,235
Chew it.
741
00:39:41,703 --> 00:39:44,172
Now,
smile at them.
742
00:39:46,407 --> 00:39:48,009
Big smile.
743
00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:50,079
Lot's of teeth.
744
00:39:54,848 --> 00:39:56,951
Now they know
you're tough.
745
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,991
Have you ever heard of
Total Talent Showdown?
746
00:40:05,993 --> 00:40:07,860
Oh my god,
yes!
747
00:40:07,862 --> 00:40:09,128
Is that
your plan?
748
00:40:09,697 --> 00:40:11,764
You were born
for T.V.
749
00:40:11,766 --> 00:40:13,199
I'm just gonna
embarrass myself.
750
00:40:13,201 --> 00:40:15,067
Everyone's gonna
make fun of me.
751
00:40:15,069 --> 00:40:16,034
Look at me.
752
00:40:16,036 --> 00:40:17,136
Look at me!
753
00:40:17,138 --> 00:40:19,706
You think I got where I am
by caring?
754
00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:22,074
I'm just gonna fail,
everyone's waiting for it.
755
00:40:22,076 --> 00:40:24,444
Success is just failure in drag,
think about it.
756
00:40:24,446 --> 00:40:27,846
Look, take this
and if anyone bothers you,
757
00:40:27,848 --> 00:40:30,215
just upload it
to the Internet.
758
00:40:30,217 --> 00:40:34,152
I strongly believe that bullies
do not deserve privacy.
759
00:40:34,154 --> 00:40:37,322
It doesn't matter if you
are a musician or an acrobat.
760
00:40:37,324 --> 00:40:41,293
Anyone with a special talent,
we're looking for you.
761
00:40:41,295 --> 00:40:45,732
Log on to our website
and submit your audition today.
762
00:40:55,143 --> 00:40:57,076
Gross.
763
00:41:01,982 --> 00:41:04,416
You. Continue stripping
the wallpaper from the lounge.
764
00:41:04,418 --> 00:41:08,420
You. Keep the residents busy
with your dancing, or whatever.
765
00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:11,023
You. Mr. Spence
needs help in his room.
766
00:41:11,025 --> 00:41:12,125
Room 12.
767
00:41:12,127 --> 00:41:12,992
What kind
of help?
768
00:41:12,994 --> 00:41:14,994
You'll find out
when you get there.
769
00:41:17,866 --> 00:41:19,465
I'm happy when
I'm around you, Chuck.
770
00:41:19,467 --> 00:41:21,266
I wanna eat you
in a sandwich,
771
00:41:21,268 --> 00:41:23,869
but I don't wanna digest it
and poo it out.
772
00:41:23,871 --> 00:41:26,304
I want you to be
a part of me forever
773
00:41:26,306 --> 00:41:28,940
but I don't mean that
in a sexual way.
774
00:41:28,942 --> 00:41:31,444
Maybe we should avoid
making sandwiches together.
775
00:41:31,446 --> 00:41:33,512
I'm okay with
constipation.
776
00:41:33,514 --> 00:41:36,215
Can we change
the subject?
777
00:41:36,217 --> 00:41:38,854
I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for Irene Willis.
778
00:41:41,855 --> 00:41:42,822
Who's she?
779
00:41:42,824 --> 00:41:44,223
A girl with
a future filled
780
00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:47,226
with plus size clothing
and desperation.
781
00:41:47,228 --> 00:41:51,096
Uhh, I'm sorry, I'm having
a hard time following you.
782
00:41:51,098 --> 00:41:54,500
She's ill in the vag,
you know what I mean?
783
00:41:54,502 --> 00:41:58,137
Okay, now we're gonna start by
you punching me, alright?
784
00:41:58,139 --> 00:41:59,538
Come on,
punch me.
785
00:41:59,540 --> 00:42:00,540
- No.
- Punch me!
786
00:42:00,542 --> 00:42:01,675
I can't punch you
in the face.
787
00:42:01,677 --> 00:42:03,909
No, yes you can, you can
punch me right in the face.
788
00:42:03,911 --> 00:42:05,411
No, I'm not gonna punch
an old man.
789
00:42:05,413 --> 00:42:06,512
You know,
when you get old,
790
00:42:06,514 --> 00:42:08,246
people think you can't
handle anything.
791
00:42:08,248 --> 00:42:11,083
I want you to punch me
in the face.
792
00:42:11,085 --> 00:42:12,418
I want you to make
a big bruise.
793
00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:14,186
No, I'm a nice person,
I don't punch people.
794
00:42:14,188 --> 00:42:17,422
No one ever changed
the world by being nice.
795
00:42:17,424 --> 00:42:19,425
I think that Ghandi guy did,
didn't he?
796
00:42:19,427 --> 00:42:21,194
Fuck Ghandi!
797
00:42:21,196 --> 00:42:22,462
Like, we tried
cyberbullying her,
798
00:42:22,464 --> 00:42:26,264
but that didn't work 'cause she
doesn't even have the internet.
799
00:42:26,266 --> 00:42:29,969
So now I'm stuck here,
in hell, with you.
800
00:42:29,971 --> 00:42:33,172
Do you know why you've been
sent in here to help?
801
00:42:33,174 --> 00:42:35,074
Excuse me?
802
00:42:36,610 --> 00:42:40,913
I like listening to Bluegrass
when I'm getting changed over.
803
00:42:40,915 --> 00:42:42,514
Changed over?
804
00:42:42,516 --> 00:42:45,821
You take the old one off
and put the new one on.
805
00:42:46,888 --> 00:42:48,487
Do you mean
like a diaper?
806
00:42:48,489 --> 00:42:53,462
If it's okay, I prefer
disposable brief.
807
00:42:56,897 --> 00:42:59,033
I hate
Irene Willis!
808
00:42:59,567 --> 00:43:00,599
Come on,
punch me!
809
00:43:00,601 --> 00:43:01,300
No!
810
00:43:01,302 --> 00:43:02,034
Punch me!
811
00:43:02,036 --> 00:43:03,402
No!
812
00:43:03,404 --> 00:43:05,605
Fat girls
can't cheer.
813
00:43:12,513 --> 00:43:14,049
How'd that feel?
814
00:43:15,315 --> 00:43:18,116
Really, really good.
815
00:43:29,496 --> 00:43:31,630
1, 2, 3, 4.
816
00:43:31,632 --> 00:43:34,333
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
817
00:43:44,978 --> 00:43:46,279
Star.
818
00:43:57,424 --> 00:44:00,259
So to do cheerleading, we're
gonna have to do some lifts.
819
00:44:00,261 --> 00:44:01,326
Are you crazy?
820
00:44:01,328 --> 00:44:02,328
We can't
do lifts!
821
00:44:02,330 --> 00:44:04,529
We're a lot stronger
than we look, aren't we?
822
00:44:08,536 --> 00:44:10,703
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
823
00:44:10,705 --> 00:44:12,672
1, 2, 3, 4.
824
00:44:12,674 --> 00:44:14,107
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
825
00:44:18,179 --> 00:44:19,411
You want me
to what?
826
00:44:19,413 --> 00:44:20,646
Simple lifts!
827
00:44:20,648 --> 00:44:23,648
You cook them food, you might
as well lift them up in the air.
828
00:44:23,650 --> 00:44:26,652
Why the hell would I wanna
join a cheerleading team?
829
00:44:26,654 --> 00:44:28,987
Because it's awesome.
830
00:44:31,192 --> 00:44:33,358
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
831
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,695
Pump, pump,
pump, pump.
832
00:44:35,697 --> 00:44:36,895
Ninja, ninja, ninja...
833
00:44:40,301 --> 00:44:42,067
And lift.
834
00:44:42,069 --> 00:44:43,304
Oh, oh, oh...
835
00:44:44,739 --> 00:44:45,674
Jump.
836
00:44:51,045 --> 00:44:52,545
Ninja, ninja.
837
00:44:52,547 --> 00:44:53,615
Pump, pump...
838
00:44:54,449 --> 00:44:55,614
What are you
doing here?
839
00:44:55,616 --> 00:44:58,083
All I've been doing lately
is burning coconut incense,
840
00:44:58,085 --> 00:45:01,219
masturbating,
and crying myself to sleep.
841
00:45:01,221 --> 00:45:02,154
What?
842
00:45:02,156 --> 00:45:03,655
I need
a hobby.
843
00:45:20,475 --> 00:45:21,808
Can we join?
844
00:45:25,446 --> 00:45:27,279
You're gonna be
our cameraman.
845
00:45:27,281 --> 00:45:29,215
5, 6, 7, 8.
846
00:45:52,806 --> 00:45:55,741
I'm Geena Davis
and this is how I arch.
847
00:45:55,743 --> 00:45:56,578
Ooh.
848
00:46:14,194 --> 00:46:16,228
I just
want you to know that
849
00:46:16,230 --> 00:46:18,630
I think the world needs
more masculine women.
850
00:46:18,632 --> 00:46:22,467
I think everytime a woman waxes
her upper lip a kitten dies.
851
00:46:22,469 --> 00:46:24,837
I waxed yesterday.
852
00:46:24,839 --> 00:46:26,838
Yeah, I'm more
of a dog person anyway.
853
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,241
Y'know, cat's have kind of
taken over the internet,
854
00:46:29,243 --> 00:46:30,409
it's obnoxious.
855
00:46:53,701 --> 00:46:54,703
Hey!
856
00:46:55,402 --> 00:46:56,735
I need
more music.
857
00:46:56,737 --> 00:46:58,603
Well, uh, garbage day
was yesterday,
858
00:46:58,605 --> 00:47:00,508
so the dumpster's
empty now.
859
00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:03,641
I can give something from
my personal collection,
860
00:47:03,643 --> 00:47:04,612
if you want.
861
00:47:05,378 --> 00:47:08,279
This here
is Milli Vanilli.
862
00:47:08,281 --> 00:47:12,183
Sad story. The real singers were
chubby, middle-aged.
863
00:47:12,185 --> 00:47:13,585
They thought
they couldn't sell records,
864
00:47:13,587 --> 00:47:16,654
so these dudes
posed as the singers.
865
00:47:16,656 --> 00:47:18,324
That's really sad.
866
00:47:18,326 --> 00:47:19,458
Yeah.
867
00:47:19,460 --> 00:47:22,628
And when their fans found out,
they were really angry,
868
00:47:22,630 --> 00:47:24,596
they threw out
their records.
869
00:47:24,598 --> 00:47:26,665
People burned them,
which is too bad,
870
00:47:26,667 --> 00:47:30,503
because this is cheesy music
at it's best.
871
00:47:30,505 --> 00:47:32,538
Are you saying
this is a rare artifact
872
00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:35,110
that was rejected by
millions of people?
873
00:47:36,243 --> 00:47:37,742
Yeah,
I guess I am.
874
00:47:37,744 --> 00:47:39,281
It's perfect.
875
00:47:39,913 --> 00:47:41,850
Well,
it's all yours.
876
00:47:42,382 --> 00:47:44,185
A freebie
for the weirdo.
877
00:47:45,286 --> 00:47:46,822
Hi,
is this Irene Willis?
878
00:47:47,455 --> 00:47:50,556
On behalf of the production
here at Total Talent Showdown,
879
00:47:50,558 --> 00:47:52,724
that was maybe the most
ridiculous audition
880
00:47:52,726 --> 00:47:55,561
we've just ever seen,
but in a very, very good way.
881
00:47:55,563 --> 00:47:56,862
It was
very good.
882
00:47:56,864 --> 00:47:57,833
They like us!
883
00:47:58,766 --> 00:48:01,433
Honestly, you and your crew,
very timely.
884
00:48:01,435 --> 00:48:03,636
With the old and the young
and the dancing.
885
00:48:03,638 --> 00:48:06,505
Very fresh, it's gonna make
for great television.
886
00:48:06,507 --> 00:48:07,809
They think
we're fresh!
887
00:48:08,643 --> 00:48:09,808
They're being sarcastic.
888
00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:12,411
Can you and your crew
make it for an audition tomorrow
889
00:48:12,413 --> 00:48:14,380
at Yorkdale mall
in Toronto?
890
00:48:14,382 --> 00:48:16,650
I'm gonna put you in
for 12:15.
891
00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:19,250
We have an audition tomorrow
at Yorkdale mall
892
00:48:19,252 --> 00:48:21,222
at 12:15
in Toronto!
893
00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:23,956
How are we gonna
get there?
894
00:48:23,958 --> 00:48:25,724
It will be taped
for broadcast,
895
00:48:25,726 --> 00:48:27,726
so there will be some
release forms...
896
00:48:27,728 --> 00:48:28,697
We'll be there!
897
00:48:30,264 --> 00:48:31,266
We'll be there!
898
00:48:33,634 --> 00:48:34,400
Hello?
899
00:48:34,402 --> 00:48:35,500
Borrow the bus?
900
00:48:35,502 --> 00:48:36,534
Are you
kidding me?
901
00:48:36,536 --> 00:48:37,302
For what?
902
00:48:37,304 --> 00:48:39,938
Um, an extracurricular
activity.
903
00:48:39,940 --> 00:48:40,607
No.
904
00:48:40,609 --> 00:48:41,608
But we need
the bus,
905
00:48:41,610 --> 00:48:42,741
it's the only thing
that will fit everyone!
906
00:48:42,743 --> 00:48:43,808
For what?
907
00:48:43,810 --> 00:48:44,842
...A field trip.
908
00:48:44,844 --> 00:48:45,744
Where?
909
00:48:45,746 --> 00:48:46,945
Uh,
to a place?
910
00:48:46,947 --> 00:48:50,583
Listen, Irene, there is nobody
qualified to drive this bus.
911
00:48:50,585 --> 00:48:51,183
No one!
912
00:48:51,185 --> 00:48:52,418
We could
take a risk!
913
00:48:52,420 --> 00:48:53,251
No-it's illegal!
914
00:48:53,253 --> 00:48:55,221
But a lot of things
were illegal
915
00:48:55,223 --> 00:48:56,956
before people
just started doing it.
916
00:48:56,958 --> 00:48:59,360
Like oral sex
in Connecticut.
917
00:48:59,627 --> 00:49:00,893
Be ahead
of the times!
918
00:49:00,895 --> 00:49:04,199
No, I'm not losing
my shitty job over this.
919
00:49:04,831 --> 00:49:06,333
These are
my keys.
920
00:49:06,567 --> 00:49:08,837
This is
the bus key.
921
00:49:10,871 --> 00:49:12,670
The bus is now
out of commission.
922
00:49:16,243 --> 00:49:17,742
We need to
steal the bus!
923
00:49:17,744 --> 00:49:19,945
The producer says they're
taping us at 12:15 tomorrow...
924
00:49:19,947 --> 00:49:21,380
we can't
be late!
925
00:49:21,382 --> 00:49:22,547
Okay.
926
00:49:22,549 --> 00:49:25,817
Oh, so-so maybe-you told
me your mother drives a limo.
927
00:49:25,819 --> 00:49:27,518
Maybe she could
help us?
928
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:28,387
Are you kidding?
929
00:49:28,389 --> 00:49:29,989
My Mom doesn't even know
I'm suspended!
930
00:49:29,991 --> 00:49:31,991
All of this
has to be a secret!
931
00:49:31,993 --> 00:49:33,195
Okay.
932
00:49:34,828 --> 00:49:36,362
Anybody
got any drugs?
933
00:49:36,364 --> 00:49:38,797
I think we need to drug that
homosexual in khakis
934
00:49:38,799 --> 00:49:40,398
so we can
steal his keys.
935
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,701
It's impossible to get drugs
in this place.
936
00:49:42,703 --> 00:49:43,835
Leave it to me.
937
00:49:43,837 --> 00:49:46,975
I'll get those damn keys
if it's the last thing I do.
938
00:49:47,808 --> 00:49:48,741
Everyone?
939
00:49:48,743 --> 00:49:50,808
Meet outside
the retirement home at 10am.
940
00:50:17,772 --> 00:50:19,241
Can
I help you?
941
00:50:19,507 --> 00:50:20,909
You're Irene's mom,
right?
942
00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:23,842
Who the hell
are you?
943
00:50:23,844 --> 00:50:24,946
I'm a friend.
944
00:50:25,578 --> 00:50:27,414
Irene doesn't
have any friends.
945
00:50:28,915 --> 00:50:30,851
I'm... a colleague.
946
00:50:35,989 --> 00:50:37,422
Missed a spot.
947
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,383
How was school?
948
00:51:04,085 --> 00:51:04,983
Good.
949
00:51:04,985 --> 00:51:06,784
Stop lying
to me.
950
00:51:06,786 --> 00:51:07,888
Sit down.
951
00:51:10,790 --> 00:51:13,826
Drinking vodka
and replacing it with water?
952
00:51:13,828 --> 00:51:15,828
It didn't work
when I was your age.
953
00:51:15,830 --> 00:51:17,465
It doesn't
work now.
954
00:51:18,031 --> 00:51:19,500
I didn't
drink that.
955
00:51:20,433 --> 00:51:22,034
I know about
your suspension.
956
00:51:22,036 --> 00:51:23,601
The retirement home?
957
00:51:23,603 --> 00:51:24,969
I know.
958
00:51:24,971 --> 00:51:26,471
Who told you?
959
00:51:26,473 --> 00:51:27,508
A friend.
960
00:51:28,909 --> 00:51:30,578
I don't have
any friends.
961
00:51:31,846 --> 00:51:33,782
It was
a colleague.
962
00:51:39,453 --> 00:51:40,686
Bitch!
963
00:51:46,694 --> 00:51:47,793
Shit!
964
00:51:55,034 --> 00:51:56,768
Asshole!
965
00:51:56,770 --> 00:51:57,703
God!
966
00:51:57,705 --> 00:51:59,505
Just listen up.
967
00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:01,873
Does anyone know
how to hotwire?
968
00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:04,442
Do we look like
car thieves to you?
969
00:52:04,444 --> 00:52:06,578
You look like
fast learners.
970
00:52:06,580 --> 00:52:09,581
How the hell are we gonna
learn how to hotwire a bus?
971
00:52:09,583 --> 00:52:12,617
You must be in denial
if you think we can do that.
972
00:52:12,619 --> 00:52:13,886
Wanna hear
about denial?
973
00:52:13,888 --> 00:52:16,487
She's still
taking birth control.
974
00:52:16,489 --> 00:52:18,090
It's only to
control my heavy flow.
975
00:52:18,092 --> 00:52:19,491
I can
hotwire a car.
976
00:52:19,493 --> 00:52:21,559
The only thing it'll get you
is arrested
977
00:52:21,561 --> 00:52:24,996
and then the only job you can
get, when you get out of jail,
978
00:52:24,998 --> 00:52:27,735
is cooking meals
at a shitty retirement home.
979
00:52:30,003 --> 00:52:32,670
I guess it can't hurt
to do it twice.
980
00:52:32,672 --> 00:52:34,105
We'll have to
distract Barrett.
981
00:52:34,107 --> 00:52:35,741
Right.
982
00:52:35,743 --> 00:52:37,612
I have
an idea.
983
00:52:38,511 --> 00:52:40,712
And don't think about
going out this weekend.
984
00:52:40,714 --> 00:52:41,779
You are grounded!
985
00:52:41,781 --> 00:52:43,648
But Mom, there's a really
important thing tomor...
986
00:52:43,650 --> 00:52:44,616
No!
987
00:52:44,618 --> 00:52:46,217
Why ground me,
when I'm already in prison?
988
00:52:46,219 --> 00:52:48,820
Oh, just because I won't allow
the internet in here
989
00:52:48,822 --> 00:52:50,021
doesn't make
it a prison!
990
00:52:50,023 --> 00:52:51,056
Yes it does!
991
00:52:51,058 --> 00:52:53,826
Do you have any idea
how much of a freak I am?!
992
00:52:53,828 --> 00:52:56,228
Why can't I have a cell phone
like everybody else?
993
00:52:56,230 --> 00:52:58,864
Cell phones turn perfectly
nice people into assholes!
994
00:52:58,866 --> 00:53:00,065
Have you looked
around lately?!
995
00:53:00,067 --> 00:53:01,900
Everyone
is an asshole!
996
00:53:01,902 --> 00:53:03,501
I wanna
be an asshole!
997
00:53:03,503 --> 00:53:05,704
I want my daughter to have
an attention span!
998
00:53:05,706 --> 00:53:07,105
I never had
an attention span!
999
00:53:07,107 --> 00:53:09,907
I don't want my daughter
to be one of those people
1000
00:53:09,909 --> 00:53:13,145
who's texting when she should be
making eye contact!
1001
00:53:13,147 --> 00:53:15,681
And don't even
get me started on sexting!
1002
00:53:15,683 --> 00:53:16,315
I wanna sext!
1003
00:53:16,317 --> 00:53:17,483
That's all
I wanna do!
1004
00:53:17,485 --> 00:53:21,018
Oh my god, can't you see
that I'm trying to protect you?
1005
00:53:21,020 --> 00:53:22,623
From what?
1006
00:53:22,889 --> 00:53:25,491
You're not like
everybody else, okay?
1007
00:53:25,493 --> 00:53:28,927
Girls like you need to be smart,
you can't be a cheerleader!
1008
00:53:28,929 --> 00:53:30,831
You can't rely
on your beauty!
1009
00:53:31,732 --> 00:53:34,032
That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
1010
00:53:34,034 --> 00:53:36,034
I don't want you
to get bullied, okay?
1011
00:53:36,036 --> 00:53:38,670
Those cyberbullies are,
like, the worst!
1012
00:53:38,672 --> 00:53:40,072
I wanna be
cyberbullied!
1013
00:53:40,074 --> 00:53:41,105
I can
handle it!
1014
00:53:41,107 --> 00:53:42,641
No you can't!
1015
00:53:42,643 --> 00:53:45,110
Just admit it,
you're embarrassed by me!
1016
00:53:45,112 --> 00:53:46,811
You, come down here,
right now.
1017
00:53:46,813 --> 00:53:49,614
You got nothing out of life,
except for a fat daughter
1018
00:53:49,616 --> 00:53:50,715
you wish
you'd never had.
1019
00:53:50,717 --> 00:53:53,217
Maybe if you recognize
that your body is a temple,
1020
00:53:53,219 --> 00:53:55,219
like I have been
trying to teach you!
1021
00:53:55,221 --> 00:53:57,021
Aren't temples and churches
open to all?
1022
00:53:57,023 --> 00:54:00,025
So what are you saying,
you want me to be a slut?
1023
00:54:00,027 --> 00:54:03,094
Irene, you're overweight.
1024
00:54:03,096 --> 00:54:05,264
Well, it's better to be
over something than under it!
1025
00:54:05,266 --> 00:54:06,232
What?
1026
00:54:06,234 --> 00:54:09,000
Over the moon,
over-achiever... overalls!
1027
00:54:09,002 --> 00:54:10,034
Stop it!
1028
00:54:10,036 --> 00:54:11,536
I'm fat.
1029
00:54:11,538 --> 00:54:12,971
I don't mind
being fat!
1030
00:54:12,973 --> 00:54:17,744
And if it offends you so much,
I love being fat.
1031
00:54:20,848 --> 00:54:23,614
Irene, I am just trying to be
your mother, here.
1032
00:54:23,616 --> 00:54:24,782
You're not
my mother!
1033
00:54:24,784 --> 00:54:26,788
Geena Davis
is my mother!
1034
00:54:27,821 --> 00:54:28,623
That's it.
1035
00:54:29,223 --> 00:54:30,221
What are you
doing?
1036
00:54:30,223 --> 00:54:31,857
Why can't you
just be normal...
1037
00:54:31,859 --> 00:54:32,590
Stop it!
1038
00:54:32,592 --> 00:54:33,224
...and like...
1039
00:54:33,226 --> 00:54:33,958
Stop it!
1040
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:35,661
...Taylor Swift?!
1041
00:55:05,926 --> 00:55:07,128
Mom?
1042
00:55:10,297 --> 00:55:12,000
What are you
doing?
1043
00:55:12,699 --> 00:55:13,665
Open the door!
1044
00:55:13,667 --> 00:55:15,067
What am I supposed
to do?
1045
00:55:15,069 --> 00:55:16,235
You're grounded!
1046
00:55:16,237 --> 00:55:19,003
Mom, why can't we just finish
fighting like normal people?
1047
00:55:19,005 --> 00:55:21,105
Because you're
not normal!
1048
00:55:21,107 --> 00:55:22,306
I gotta
go to work.
1049
00:55:22,308 --> 00:55:23,909
I'll be back
in an hour.
1050
00:55:31,217 --> 00:55:32,384
That's it.
1051
00:55:32,386 --> 00:55:33,654
I quit.
1052
00:55:48,302 --> 00:55:49,467
Hello?
1053
00:55:49,469 --> 00:55:55,139
Irene, the farther
you draw back an arrow,
1054
00:55:55,141 --> 00:55:59,043
the farther, faster,
and stronger it will fly.
1055
00:55:59,045 --> 00:56:00,679
Where am I?
1056
00:56:00,681 --> 00:56:02,313
Infinite darkness.
1057
00:56:02,315 --> 00:56:04,782
It's a great place
for interpretive dance.
1058
00:56:04,784 --> 00:56:06,851
Also for shooting
'80s music videos.
1059
00:56:06,853 --> 00:56:09,788
Madonna's "Live to Tell"
was shot here.
1060
00:56:09,790 --> 00:56:11,355
Am I dead?
1061
00:56:11,357 --> 00:56:13,058
No, Irene.
1062
00:56:13,060 --> 00:56:16,027
You are
very much alive!
1063
00:56:16,029 --> 00:56:18,829
But, I'm not exactly on my way
to dating a jock
1064
00:56:18,831 --> 00:56:20,666
or becoming
a cheerleader.
1065
00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:22,800
You're a liar,
Geena Davis!
1066
00:56:22,802 --> 00:56:24,638
I think that was
a bit harsh.
1067
00:56:25,205 --> 00:56:27,338
Isn't it true?
1068
00:56:27,340 --> 00:56:30,275
I know, everything looks
horrible right now,
1069
00:56:30,277 --> 00:56:32,411
but just remember,
even when Thelma and Louise
1070
00:56:32,413 --> 00:56:34,846
lost all
of their money,
1071
00:56:34,848 --> 00:56:37,715
I got to have motel-sex
with Brad Pitt.
1072
00:56:37,717 --> 00:56:38,916
Whoa.
1073
00:56:38,918 --> 00:56:40,418
Accentuate the positive!
1074
00:56:40,420 --> 00:56:42,054
We lost everything,
1075
00:56:42,056 --> 00:56:45,123
but then I got to have
a great character arc!
1076
00:56:45,125 --> 00:56:47,358
Take it from me,
Irene.
1077
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,462
Boys don't like it
when girls are taller than them.
1078
00:56:50,464 --> 00:56:54,099
They also don't like it
when girls are fatter than them.
1079
00:56:54,101 --> 00:56:56,934
But do you know
what we say to that?
1080
00:56:56,936 --> 00:56:59,737
We say
fuck 'em.
1081
00:56:59,739 --> 00:57:02,377
Thou shalt
not quit!
1082
00:57:13,753 --> 00:57:15,253
Why are we
meeting here?
1083
00:57:15,255 --> 00:57:16,288
It's Saturday.
1084
00:57:16,290 --> 00:57:17,725
We're going
to Mapleview.
1085
00:57:18,792 --> 00:57:20,324
Do you hear
that sound?
1086
00:57:20,326 --> 00:57:24,730
That's the sound of my dick
shrivelling up and dying.
1087
00:57:24,732 --> 00:57:27,331
We can stop at the funeral home
on the way there.
1088
00:57:27,333 --> 00:57:29,936
I'm sure they have
a really tiny casket.
1089
00:57:32,239 --> 00:57:35,773
How long does it take
for a tire to deflate?
1090
00:57:36,509 --> 00:57:38,111
You're psycho.
1091
00:57:48,956 --> 00:57:50,158
Okay, come on,
Millie.
1092
00:57:50,389 --> 00:57:51,359
Let's go.
1093
00:57:53,025 --> 00:57:53,458
Hey...
1094
00:57:53,460 --> 00:57:54,192
Where's Irene?
1095
00:57:54,194 --> 00:57:55,427
I thought
she was with you!
1096
00:58:05,172 --> 00:58:05,871
What next?
1097
00:58:05,873 --> 00:58:07,371
Do you see that
yellow wire?
1098
00:58:07,373 --> 00:58:07,905
Yeah.
1099
00:58:07,907 --> 00:58:09,407
Yeah,
pull it out.
1100
00:58:09,409 --> 00:58:09,907
Okay.
1101
00:58:09,909 --> 00:58:11,108
Can we
hurry it up?
1102
00:58:11,110 --> 00:58:14,445
Because Irene isn't even here,
we have to go and pick her up!
1103
00:58:14,447 --> 00:58:16,815
Oh, for heaven's sake,
hold your horses!
1104
00:58:16,817 --> 00:58:19,186
Takes patience
to hotwire a bus.
1105
00:58:21,822 --> 00:58:25,389
Oh, Ruth,
I thought you had
1106
00:58:25,391 --> 00:58:28,326
at least another decade
left in you.
1107
00:58:28,328 --> 00:58:32,898
I should have just
given you the Vicodin.
1108
00:58:32,900 --> 00:58:36,934
You were a pain in the ass,
but I'll miss you.
1109
00:58:36,936 --> 00:58:39,204
Alright, now spark
those wires together.
1110
00:58:39,206 --> 00:58:40,038
Ooh!
1111
00:58:41,141 --> 00:58:43,541
I should start
stealing cars.
1112
00:58:43,543 --> 00:58:46,513
You were special
a special lady, Ruth...
1113
00:58:48,882 --> 00:58:49,884
Spencer.
1114
00:58:50,484 --> 00:58:52,483
I am special.
1115
00:58:52,485 --> 00:58:55,954
I just convinced you that I was
dead for a whole minute.
1116
00:58:55,956 --> 00:58:57,556
Why are you
pretending to be dead?
1117
00:58:57,558 --> 00:58:59,023
A decade?
1118
00:58:59,025 --> 00:59:01,462
I've got at least three left,
shithead!
1119
00:59:02,529 --> 00:59:03,460
Hurry up!
1120
00:59:03,462 --> 00:59:05,262
Okay, I'm coming!
1121
00:59:05,264 --> 00:59:06,331
Hurry!
1122
00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:12,070
What the hell
are you doing?!
1123
00:59:12,072 --> 00:59:13,237
Get back here!
1124
00:59:13,239 --> 00:59:15,407
That's my bus!
1125
00:59:15,409 --> 00:59:16,541
You don't have
right...
1126
00:59:16,543 --> 00:59:17,909
This should
be good.
1127
00:59:17,911 --> 00:59:20,545
Get back here!
1128
00:59:20,547 --> 00:59:22,947
You come right
back here, Ruth...
1129
00:59:22,949 --> 00:59:24,384
Spencer!
1130
00:59:25,018 --> 00:59:27,117
Thank you
for starting the bus.
1131
00:59:27,119 --> 00:59:29,087
Actually,
she did it all herself.
1132
00:59:29,089 --> 00:59:30,255
Millie?!
1133
00:59:30,257 --> 00:59:33,123
From resident slut
to criminal.
1134
00:59:35,996 --> 00:59:37,161
Hey!
1135
00:59:37,163 --> 00:59:37,929
Hey, Irene!
1136
00:59:37,931 --> 00:59:39,100
Irene, come on!
1137
00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:41,902
Come on down!
1138
00:59:42,335 --> 00:59:43,335
You got
the bus?
1139
00:59:43,337 --> 00:59:44,134
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1140
00:59:44,136 --> 00:59:44,569
Come on!
1141
00:59:44,571 --> 00:59:45,603
Come on down!
1142
00:59:45,605 --> 00:59:47,204
I can't,
I'm trapped in here!
1143
00:59:47,206 --> 00:59:49,241
My mom
locked me in!
1144
00:59:49,877 --> 00:59:51,610
You're gonna
have to jump!
1145
00:59:51,612 --> 00:59:53,047
I can't jump!
1146
00:59:54,380 --> 00:59:55,583
I'll catch you.
1147
00:59:56,116 --> 00:59:57,949
I'll kill you.
1148
00:59:57,951 --> 00:59:59,483
We've got
expired cartilage
1149
00:59:59,485 --> 01:00:02,920
and look at what
you've been making us do!
1150
01:00:12,465 --> 01:00:13,898
Okay.
1151
01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:15,099
Yes,
you can do it!
1152
01:00:15,101 --> 01:00:17,369
Yes, yes!
1153
01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:18,406
Perfect.
1154
01:00:19,505 --> 01:00:21,172
You can do it!
1155
01:00:21,174 --> 01:00:21,840
Okay.
1156
01:00:21,842 --> 01:00:22,574
Come on, Irene!
1157
01:00:22,576 --> 01:00:23,007
Come on.
1158
01:00:23,009 --> 01:00:23,608
Jump!
1159
01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:25,342
Oh my god!
1160
01:00:31,951 --> 01:00:32,983
Oh my god.
1161
01:00:32,985 --> 01:00:34,119
Are you okay?
1162
01:00:34,121 --> 01:00:36,290
Yeah, no...
I'm okay, I'm okay.
1163
01:00:37,056 --> 01:00:37,454
Let's go.
1164
01:00:37,456 --> 01:00:38,188
Okay.
1165
01:00:38,190 --> 01:00:39,657
Okay.
1166
01:00:45,065 --> 01:00:46,100
Are you guys
ready?
1167
01:00:46,333 --> 01:00:47,565
Just remember
to smile.
1168
01:00:47,567 --> 01:00:48,632
Okay.
1169
01:00:48,634 --> 01:00:49,166
Okay.
1170
01:01:02,616 --> 01:01:04,384
Irene?!
1171
01:01:04,650 --> 01:01:07,384
Year and make
of the stolen vehicle?
1172
01:01:07,386 --> 01:01:11,422
1999 white shortbus.
1173
01:01:11,424 --> 01:01:13,425
And who do you suspect
of stealing it?
1174
01:01:13,427 --> 01:01:14,458
The residents.
1175
01:01:14,460 --> 01:01:16,261
The residents?
1176
01:01:16,263 --> 01:01:19,130
The residents of this
retirement home.
1177
01:01:19,132 --> 01:01:21,733
Are you telling me the old
people of this retirement home
1178
01:01:21,735 --> 01:01:23,300
stole the bus?
1179
01:01:23,302 --> 01:01:24,071
Yes.
1180
01:01:26,605 --> 01:01:27,407
Cool.
1181
01:01:29,976 --> 01:01:32,744
Where the hell
is my daughter?
1182
01:01:32,746 --> 01:01:35,713
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
1183
01:01:35,715 --> 01:01:36,982
And more cheer.
1184
01:01:36,984 --> 01:01:39,217
So ready, okay.
1185
01:01:39,219 --> 01:01:40,751
5, 6, 7, 8.
1186
01:01:40,753 --> 01:01:42,753
I should have been
a bus driver.
1187
01:01:42,755 --> 01:01:45,155
Just what the world needs:
a slutty bus driver!
1188
01:01:45,157 --> 01:01:47,358
Okay, Ruth,
I've had it.
1189
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,393
I want you
to treat me with respect!
1190
01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:50,462
I do.
1191
01:01:50,464 --> 01:01:52,197
I respect anyone who's
vagina'sbeen through so much
1192
01:01:52,199 --> 01:01:53,364
it's written
a "tell all".
1193
01:01:53,366 --> 01:01:56,433
It's even made it on the New
York Times Best Sellers List.
1194
01:01:56,435 --> 01:01:58,168
Stop bullying me!
1195
01:01:58,170 --> 01:01:59,204
I'm not bullying
anyone.
1196
01:01:59,206 --> 01:02:00,270
I love sluts!
1197
01:02:00,272 --> 01:02:02,340
Apologize!
1198
01:02:03,442 --> 01:02:05,076
Millie,
slow down!
1199
01:02:05,078 --> 01:02:06,677
Jesus,
don't kill us!
1200
01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:07,712
Okay, I'm sorry.
1201
01:02:07,714 --> 01:02:11,483
Well,
one of our residents, Ruth...
1202
01:02:11,485 --> 01:02:13,117
Hi!
1203
01:02:13,119 --> 01:02:14,518
Where is she?
1204
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:15,786
We know
where she's headed,
1205
01:02:15,788 --> 01:02:17,755
Not sure
she'll get there, though.
1206
01:02:17,757 --> 01:02:21,425
You know, I've always wanted
to ride in the back of a limo.
1207
01:02:24,096 --> 01:02:25,163
Millie, slow down!
1208
01:02:25,165 --> 01:02:26,264
Oh my god!
1209
01:02:26,266 --> 01:02:28,800
I'm trying, but...
1210
01:02:28,802 --> 01:02:31,201
I think we may
have a flat tire!
1211
01:02:36,243 --> 01:02:38,145
Is everybody alright?
1212
01:02:38,511 --> 01:02:39,710
What time
is it?
1213
01:02:39,712 --> 01:02:41,145
Here.
1214
01:02:41,147 --> 01:02:41,982
Shit!
1215
01:02:49,156 --> 01:02:50,424
It's a flat.
1216
01:02:52,324 --> 01:02:54,324
Oh, no.
1217
01:02:56,496 --> 01:02:59,100
We ain't
going to Toronto.
1218
01:02:59,433 --> 01:03:01,034
We're screwed.
1219
01:03:03,603 --> 01:03:06,204
We're not going to make it
to the audition, guys.
1220
01:03:06,206 --> 01:03:09,306
But we practiced!
1221
01:03:12,411 --> 01:03:14,014
Don't cry, Irene.
1222
01:03:15,382 --> 01:03:16,848
'Kay.
Keep an eye out, please.
1223
01:03:16,850 --> 01:03:20,186
Look out that window,
see if they're on that side.
1224
01:03:22,621 --> 01:03:24,759
This is the coolest
Limo ever.
1225
01:03:33,732 --> 01:03:35,733
Do talk to me.
1226
01:03:35,735 --> 01:03:39,270
I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself.
1227
01:03:39,272 --> 01:03:40,838
You're fat.
1228
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:45,442
You can't
be a cheerleader!
1229
01:03:45,444 --> 01:03:49,179
This town doesn't need
another regular cheerleader.
1230
01:03:49,181 --> 01:03:51,549
This town
needs you.
1231
01:03:55,388 --> 01:03:57,588
We're not gonna
make it to the audition,
1232
01:03:57,590 --> 01:03:59,359
but we're gonna
do it anyway.
1233
01:04:00,527 --> 01:04:01,462
Where?
1234
01:04:02,328 --> 01:04:03,795
See that plaza?
1235
01:04:03,797 --> 01:04:05,663
We're gonna do it
right there.
1236
01:04:05,665 --> 01:04:06,734
What?
1237
01:04:09,469 --> 01:04:10,101
Come on!
1238
01:04:10,103 --> 01:04:11,503
Come on,
get ready!
1239
01:04:12,505 --> 01:04:14,538
I've got the tape;
I'll press play.
1240
01:04:14,540 --> 01:04:15,475
Alright.
1241
01:04:20,212 --> 01:04:22,115
Okay, come on,
let's go!
1242
01:04:24,217 --> 01:04:25,150
We can
do this!
1243
01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:27,121
Come on.
Yeah, come over here!
1244
01:04:30,456 --> 01:04:31,692
Okay,
get into positions.
1245
01:04:33,893 --> 01:04:34,828
Yeah, right there.
1246
01:04:35,529 --> 01:04:36,728
Song's
about to start!
1247
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,594
What the fuck?
1248
01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:31,849
There they are!
1249
01:05:31,851 --> 01:05:33,320
There they are...
pull over!
1250
01:05:39,292 --> 01:05:40,824
Oh my god!
1251
01:05:44,630 --> 01:05:45,663
That's my mom!
1252
01:05:45,665 --> 01:05:48,565
I'm going to be your mom
for the next ten seconds.
1253
01:05:48,567 --> 01:05:51,603
If you stop dancing, I'm gonna
slap the shit out of you!
1254
01:06:06,386 --> 01:06:06,985
Oh my god.
1255
01:06:23,036 --> 01:06:23,871
One more.
1256
01:06:25,371 --> 01:06:26,637
Yep.
1257
01:06:32,978 --> 01:06:34,547
So cute.
1258
01:06:50,029 --> 01:06:51,395
Woo-hoo!
1259
01:08:25,758 --> 01:08:26,623
Yeah!
1260
01:08:26,625 --> 01:08:27,759
Woo!
1261
01:08:27,761 --> 01:08:30,027
Yes!
1262
01:08:30,029 --> 01:08:31,762
Encore!
1263
01:08:33,665 --> 01:08:34,931
Oh,
we did incredible!
1264
01:08:34,933 --> 01:08:35,933
We did it!
1265
01:08:35,935 --> 01:08:36,934
We did it!
1266
01:08:36,936 --> 01:08:38,435
Your daughter
is amazing.
1267
01:08:38,437 --> 01:08:39,839
Does she get it
from you?
1268
01:08:42,709 --> 01:08:44,908
You keep laughing at her,
it's not gonna work.
1269
01:08:44,910 --> 01:08:46,810
She doesn't care.
1270
01:08:46,812 --> 01:08:47,945
...but I do.
1271
01:08:47,947 --> 01:08:51,114
And if you bully my daughter
again, you little bitch,
1272
01:08:51,116 --> 01:08:52,785
I'm gonna
call your mom.
1273
01:08:53,820 --> 01:08:55,886
Girls like you?
1274
01:08:55,888 --> 01:08:57,954
They peak
in high school.
1275
01:08:57,956 --> 01:09:02,460
Let me tell ya,
it's all downhill from there.
1276
01:09:02,462 --> 01:09:04,694
I gotta run,
but this was amazing.
1277
01:09:04,696 --> 01:09:06,663
You slashed our tires,
didn't you?
1278
01:09:06,665 --> 01:09:08,466
Why do you hate me
so much?
1279
01:09:08,468 --> 01:09:10,467
Why do you have to
be so mean?
1280
01:09:10,469 --> 01:09:12,769
I'm so sorry.
1281
01:09:12,771 --> 01:09:17,507
I don't believe in violence,
but suck my dick.
1282
01:09:20,679 --> 01:09:21,949
You have
a dick?
1283
01:09:22,714 --> 01:09:24,081
I'm Irene Willis.
1284
01:09:24,083 --> 01:09:25,850
I have everything.
1285
01:09:25,852 --> 01:09:27,020
Want one?
1286
01:09:27,986 --> 01:09:29,021
We need
to go.
1287
01:09:29,688 --> 01:09:31,557
Say goodbye
to your friends.
1288
01:09:32,758 --> 01:09:34,158
Well, we didn't
get on T.V.,
1289
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:36,897
but you guys
are such good dancers, you know.
1290
01:09:38,197 --> 01:09:40,734
I had
such a good time.
1291
01:09:41,801 --> 01:09:44,036
I never liked the show
anyway.
1292
01:09:45,103 --> 01:09:49,105
Well, at least we brought
some excitement to this plaza!
1293
01:09:49,107 --> 01:09:51,978
Hey, uh, nice hook punch,
by the way.
1294
01:09:52,745 --> 01:09:53,743
Thanks.
1295
01:09:53,745 --> 01:09:55,982
Alright, Irene,
we need to go.
1296
01:10:00,119 --> 01:10:01,054
Okay.
1297
01:10:01,620 --> 01:10:04,424
Let's go,
we're walking back.
1298
01:10:05,491 --> 01:10:06,860
Come on, Millie.
1299
01:10:07,227 --> 01:10:07,958
Okay.
1300
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:09,493
I'm sorry.
1301
01:10:09,495 --> 01:10:10,494
That was fun.
1302
01:10:17,770 --> 01:10:21,506
You taught those old people
my cheer moves.
1303
01:10:21,508 --> 01:10:22,142
Yeah.
1304
01:10:22,875 --> 01:10:24,708
Well, your diagonals
are off.
1305
01:10:24,710 --> 01:10:26,847
They're, like,
totally sloppy.
1306
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:29,314
Sorry.
1307
01:10:29,316 --> 01:10:32,250
If you want to be a cheerleader,
you're gonna have to perform
1308
01:10:32,252 --> 01:10:33,818
every move sharply,
you know?
1309
01:10:33,820 --> 01:10:35,556
Everything's gotta
be like a punch!
1310
01:10:39,792 --> 01:10:41,695
I can show you,
if you want.
1311
01:10:43,629 --> 01:10:44,630
Really?
1312
01:10:45,164 --> 01:10:46,200
Yeah.
1313
01:10:47,066 --> 01:10:49,136
But you have to
stop lying to me.
1314
01:10:49,669 --> 01:10:50,534
Mhm.
1315
01:10:50,536 --> 01:10:51,771
Okay.
1316
01:10:55,775 --> 01:10:59,210
So, how did you get those
old people to move like that?
1317
01:10:59,212 --> 01:11:02,979
Uh, I gave them
music and alcohol.
1318
01:11:02,981 --> 01:11:06,016
Oh, so that's
what you did with my vodka.
1319
01:11:13,258 --> 01:11:14,759
Come on, Irene!
1320
01:11:14,761 --> 01:11:16,927
I've got
dinner ready!
1321
01:11:16,929 --> 01:11:17,894
Okay, Mom!
1322
01:11:17,896 --> 01:11:19,130
Coming!
1323
01:11:29,142 --> 01:11:31,042
I think you're
one of the greats, Irene.
1324
01:11:31,044 --> 01:11:33,176
Thanks for taping me
back together.
1325
01:11:33,178 --> 01:11:35,278
Don't change
for anyone.
1326
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:37,814
You got it,
Geena Davis.
1327
01:11:37,816 --> 01:11:39,951
You don't
need me anymore.
1328
01:11:39,953 --> 01:11:42,086
My work here
is done.
1329
01:11:42,088 --> 01:11:43,921
I still
need you.
1330
01:11:43,923 --> 01:11:46,056
I have to go
back to school tomorrow.
1331
01:11:46,058 --> 01:11:48,993
Everyone's gonna make
fun of me all over again!
1332
01:11:48,995 --> 01:11:50,831
Other girls
need my help.
1333
01:11:51,864 --> 01:11:53,267
But what
about me?
1334
01:11:53,967 --> 01:11:57,167
Thank you, for liking me
and not Taylor Swift.
1335
01:11:57,169 --> 01:11:58,838
Goodbye, Irene.
1336
01:11:59,672 --> 01:12:00,540
Geena?
1337
01:12:03,209 --> 01:12:04,244
Geena?
1338
01:12:06,379 --> 01:12:07,278
Geena Davis?
1339
01:12:25,964 --> 01:12:27,100
What are
you doing?
1340
01:12:28,234 --> 01:12:31,101
Do you ever wish that we
lived in a parallel universe,
1341
01:12:31,103 --> 01:12:32,905
where high school
didn't exist?
1342
01:12:34,106 --> 01:12:36,142
Then where would we all
get fucked up?
1343
01:12:37,977 --> 01:12:42,014
Come on, every Thelma
needs her Louise.
1344
01:12:47,152 --> 01:12:48,952
So when are we
dancing again?
1345
01:12:48,954 --> 01:12:51,154
I'm gonna teach dance
at the retirement home,
1346
01:12:51,156 --> 01:12:52,657
if you
wanna join?
1347
01:12:52,659 --> 01:12:55,059
Obviously
I wanna be there.
1348
01:12:55,061 --> 01:12:57,060
That was the most fun
I've ever had.
1349
01:12:57,062 --> 01:12:59,095
Me too.
1350
01:12:59,097 --> 01:13:00,930
After you, sister.
1351
01:13:00,932 --> 01:13:02,198
Good morning, students.
1352
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:05,670
This is Principal Firestone
with your morning announcements.
1353
01:13:05,672 --> 01:13:08,005
Reminder that the fall fair
committee is gathering
1354
01:13:08,007 --> 01:13:13,377
after school... to discuss
the fall fair dance sock hop.
1355
01:13:13,379 --> 01:13:15,882
Oh my god,
that bitch is staring at us.
1356
01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:19,183
We are still
looking for a DJ
1357
01:13:19,185 --> 01:13:24,188
who will play appropriate music
for the occasion...
1358
01:13:24,190 --> 01:13:27,390
Get the hell away from her,
or I'll punch you in the vulv.
1359
01:13:27,392 --> 01:13:30,027
I'd like to have a word
with her alone, please.
1360
01:13:30,029 --> 01:13:31,330
It's okay.
1361
01:13:34,133 --> 01:13:36,403
This is pepper spray,
in case you need it.
1362
01:13:39,438 --> 01:13:40,406
Where's Robbie?
1363
01:13:41,039 --> 01:13:42,074
We broke up.
1364
01:13:42,975 --> 01:13:44,140
Sorry about
your eye.
1365
01:13:44,142 --> 01:13:46,277
I have
something to say.
1366
01:13:46,279 --> 01:13:48,912
I respect a girl who can
throw punches like that.
1367
01:13:48,914 --> 01:13:51,247
Especially at... me.
1368
01:13:51,249 --> 01:13:54,251
I know what it's like
to have your mom not get you.
1369
01:13:54,253 --> 01:13:55,786
Okay, this conversation
ends now.
1370
01:13:55,788 --> 01:13:56,956
Sarah Lindt.
1371
01:13:59,991 --> 01:14:01,128
Did you
hear that?
1372
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:03,029
Hear what?
1373
01:14:03,862 --> 01:14:05,932
Sarah Lindt.
1374
01:14:06,231 --> 01:14:11,001
My name is Geena Davis and
I'm going to change your life.
1375
01:14:20,012 --> 01:14:21,014
Hey!
1376
01:14:21,446 --> 01:14:23,417
Oh,
you go here?
1377
01:14:23,915 --> 01:14:26,253
I, uh, I saw
your dancing online.
1378
01:14:26,486 --> 01:14:29,222
How many hits are you at now,
like a billion?
1379
01:14:30,021 --> 01:14:31,424
You make me
feel funny.
1380
01:14:31,857 --> 01:14:33,256
It's terrifying.
1381
01:14:33,258 --> 01:14:34,390
My name's Jacques.
1382
01:14:34,392 --> 01:14:35,328
Jacques Zimmerman.
1383
01:14:35,995 --> 01:14:38,429
You don't have to shake my hand,
that was weird.
1384
01:14:39,030 --> 01:14:40,296
Jacques?
1385
01:14:40,298 --> 01:14:42,867
Do you wanna
do something this weekend?
1386
01:14:42,869 --> 01:14:45,706
You-you wanna
hang out with me?
1387
01:14:45,972 --> 01:14:46,907
Yeah.
1388
01:14:48,008 --> 01:14:50,507
I just wanna let you to know:
my career comes first.
1389
01:14:50,509 --> 01:14:52,510
Also,
I have pepper spray.
1390
01:14:52,512 --> 01:14:54,778
Uh, okay!
1391
01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:55,447
Cool.
1392
01:14:55,449 --> 01:14:56,980
I have
a cell phone now.
1393
01:14:56,982 --> 01:14:58,381
You can
text me on it.
1394
01:14:58,383 --> 01:15:01,786
905-555-0178.
1395
01:15:01,788 --> 01:15:03,420
Sext me as soon
as you can!
1396
01:15:04,356 --> 01:15:05,324
Okay.
1397
01:15:06,825 --> 01:15:08,826
Why didn't you
try out for cheer squad?
1398
01:15:08,828 --> 01:15:11,362
I tried, I licked the floor
and everything.
1399
01:15:11,364 --> 01:15:13,363
I have no idea
what you're talking about,
1400
01:15:13,365 --> 01:15:15,301
but we
need you.
1401
01:15:16,268 --> 01:15:17,204
Really?
1402
01:15:17,904 --> 01:15:19,806
We like talent
when we see it.
1403
01:15:24,944 --> 01:15:26,342
Okay,
come on you guys.
1404
01:15:26,344 --> 01:15:28,912
Let's stretch those glutes,
warm those hamstrings.
1405
01:15:28,914 --> 01:15:29,646
C'mon.
1406
01:15:33,419 --> 01:15:34,988
Remember.
1407
01:15:36,155 --> 01:15:37,958
Everything like a...
like a punch!
1408
01:15:39,892 --> 01:15:40,827
Okay.
1409
01:15:42,160 --> 01:15:43,829
Hey, Irene.
1410
01:15:45,097 --> 01:15:47,497
What are you gonna do
if they knock you down?
1411
01:15:47,499 --> 01:15:49,199
I'm gonna
get back up.
1412
01:15:49,201 --> 01:15:50,835
What are you
gonna do?
1413
01:15:50,837 --> 01:15:53,136
I'm gonna get back up
and I'm gonna cheer.
1414
01:15:53,138 --> 01:15:53,871
Great.
1415
01:15:53,873 --> 01:15:56,476
Now remember,
eat the meat!
1416
01:15:58,276 --> 01:15:59,210
Come on, Irene!
1417
01:15:59,212 --> 01:16:00,677
We're waiting
for you!
1418
01:16:12,525 --> 01:16:14,524
Skipping class
to practice a cheer.
1419
01:16:14,526 --> 01:16:16,060
We're so hardcore!
1420
01:16:16,062 --> 01:16:18,494
Hey, perfect.
1421
01:16:18,496 --> 01:16:20,096
I can't
believe it.
1422
01:16:20,098 --> 01:16:22,198
A fat cheerleader?
1423
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,301
Don't mess with her,
you'll regret it.
1424
01:16:24,303 --> 01:16:26,336
Why?
1425
01:16:26,338 --> 01:16:28,073
She'll punch you
in the face.
1426
01:16:29,241 --> 01:16:31,175
Okay, everyone's here.
1427
01:16:31,177 --> 01:16:32,579
Let's form
a pyramid.
1428
01:16:36,548 --> 01:16:38,215
What are you
doing there?
1429
01:16:38,217 --> 01:16:39,649
I thought you'd
want me here.
1430
01:16:39,651 --> 01:16:40,518
We're athletes!
1431
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:42,452
And you need to
learn how to climb.
1432
01:16:42,454 --> 01:16:43,956
Let's do
a thigh stand.
1433
01:16:44,923 --> 01:16:46,258
You want me
on top?
1434
01:16:46,592 --> 01:16:48,058
Yes!
1435
01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:49,960
We don't have
all day.
1436
01:16:53,266 --> 01:16:55,064
They say
the key to success
1437
01:16:55,066 --> 01:16:56,966
is to look
into the future
1438
01:16:56,968 --> 01:16:59,505
and visualize what you
want to become.
1439
01:17:01,072 --> 01:17:06,109
But some creatures are perfect
just the way they are.
1440
01:17:06,111 --> 01:17:10,314
And the special ones,
if they stay alive long enough,
1441
01:17:10,316 --> 01:17:14,083
they grow wings
and fly.
1442
01:17:18,657 --> 01:17:19,323
Woo!
1443
01:17:19,325 --> 01:17:21,294
Go Possums!
100485
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