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"Not everything that
is faced can be changed,
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00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:24,650
but nothing can be
changed until it is faced,"
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00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,194
a James Baldwin quote
Reggie Green's father
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00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,862
often imparted to his son.
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00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,449
Reggie heard the message loud and clear.
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00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,583
Hey, see you at practice tomorrow.
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00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,212
Uh, I'm not on your team, Coach.
10
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,881
Good one, Marcus.
11
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,175
Despite the divisive hashtags
12
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,052
that would have you believe otherwise,
13
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,555
our great nation is built
14
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,849
on that most famous of declarations:
15
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,935
"All men are created equal."
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00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,187
Equal?
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00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,606
You could only vote if you owned land
18
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,024
and didn't have a vagina.
19
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,442
Well, uh...
20
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,695
She had him at "vagina."
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00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,447
Reggie, often a lone soldier on campus,
22
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,117
had finally found his comrade-in-arms.
23
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,053
As the outrage over the blackface party
24
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,806
gave way to campus-wide apathy,
25
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,933
Reggie found himself looking for ways
26
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,352
to reignite the revolution.
27
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
What Reggie didn't realize was
28
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,485
the revolution would find him.
29
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,542
So a student's picture pops up,
30
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,627
Coco Conners.
31
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,669
Not woke.
32
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:09,921
Woke.
33
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,466
- Woke.
- Cosby.
34
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,009
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm, I'm sorry.
35
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,218
Lady McRib. Really?
36
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,637
Now look.
37
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,306
The entire campus ranked
by whether they is woke
38
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,599
or not woke.
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00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,726
Your boy's number four, for now,
40
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,144
but once this blows up,
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00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,562
Sam, you better watch yo back.
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00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,940
Mm, you mad scientist.
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00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,194
This is based on my last
Dear White People rant.
44
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,862
You Steve Jobs'd me.
45
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,073
I Steve Jobs'd you.
46
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,241
Yo, Steve Jobs was a monster
47
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,827
who used Chinese slave
labor to make his products.
48
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:47,918
What?
49
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,878
Those kids make a fantastic phone.
50
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,133
Hey, who that, Sam?
51
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,177
- Mm.
- Ooh, that's white bae.
52
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,845
- Nuh.
- What y'all finna do?
53
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,764
Go on a hike just for the Instagrams?
54
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,224
- Play hacky sack?
- Open an Etsy shop
55
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,267
like that's a real job?
56
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,521
Wow, I'm really sad I
have to go too, assholes.
57
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:09,523
Wait.
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00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,775
I love/hate your shirt.
59
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,026
Well, what's to hate?
60
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,694
I can't wear it. I have cream.
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00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,738
Bitch, get out of here.
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00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,407
Bye.
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00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,785
- Have fun being booed up, girl.
- Thank you. Reggie, you're a genius.
64
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,954
- I know.
- Bye, Sam.
65
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,414
Bye, Al.
66
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,458
All right, y'all,
67
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,503
who do we get this "Woke or
Not" app to, to make it a thing?
68
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,422
The revolution is running on embers.
69
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,882
It's Saturday, Reggie.
The revolution can wait.
70
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,552
I heard the ASU's having a cook-in.
71
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,553
Hard pass.
72
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,889
People have completely forgotten
about this blackface party.
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00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,683
The whole thing, it's like they just...
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00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,934
Reggie.
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00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,812
Sometimes being carefree and
black is an act of revolution.
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00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,690
She's right, man.
Saturday's a day of rest.
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00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,817
You ain't Jewish, man.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,069
You don't know my life.
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00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,363
But you let the ladies
walk all over you.
80
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,407
Why?
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00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,744
Because you know your
mama didn't love you.
82
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,580
What we need now is a man.
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00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,749
That's what the ladies want,
84
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,584
and that's what the mama
85
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,836
in your heart wants.
86
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,922
I've been an author, psychic,
87
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,258
Yelp reviewer, bus driver,
88
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,135
former Yelp reviewer who got banned
89
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,179
for using too many obscenities
90
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,139
in a review for a children's theater,
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00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:28,226
and a reader of half of one
of Iyanla Vanzant's books.
92
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,312
I've done the work, and for some reason,
93
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,564
these people have given me a show
94
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,066
to help you do yours.
95
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,580
Oh, I'm sorry, Reg. Were you
watching TV while the revolution dies?
96
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,374
Sorry. Dereca got me caught up.
97
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,835
Dereca's a hot mess.
98
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,587
God, I want her to set me straight.
99
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,214
Shasta.
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00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,715
Pulled out all the stops.
101
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,262
Sorbet, did you make some new friends?
102
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,515
Aww, this is Sorbet,
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00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,849
and she's so glad you
were able to make it
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00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,100
to our little cook-in.
105
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,727
Well, we wanted to have a cookout,
106
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,437
but real grills are banned on campus.
107
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,106
- Like dogs, right?
- Technically, yes.
108
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,526
But after the blackface
party, I was so traumatized.
109
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,236
I mean, racism here?
110
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,695
I still can't believe it.
111
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,239
No one could have seen it coming.
112
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,990
I thought President
Obama fixed all that.
113
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,034
I know, so I went to
the campus psychiatrist,
114
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,161
and I told him that I'd kill myself
115
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,871
if I could not have a support animal,
116
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,456
and they let me get one.
117
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,500
Well, you're the real hero, Kelsey.
118
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,377
Aw, Al. Thank you.
119
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,045
Would you guys like a veggie dog?
120
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,213
- No.
- Hell no.
121
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,842
Sorbet, come back here. No!
122
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:45,804
- She's something else.
- Ugh. That girl.
123
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,181
All right, what...
124
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,936
They made free food bad.
125
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,771
Fuck these guys.
126
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,398
- French exit?
- Wait.
127
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,651
Wannabe pastor Kordell
got the homie hemmed up.
128
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,653
And if you think about it, Rashid,
129
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,614
Africa owes a lot to
Christian missionaries.
130
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,616
- If they hadn't brought Jesus...
- I love the Lord,
131
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,285
but Pastor Kordell be doing the most.
132
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,869
- He's in me?
- He's in you right now.
133
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,955
- So that mean I'm Jesus.
- You're Jesus-like.
134
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,290
- We're all Jesus-like...
- Rashid.
135
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,584
Thank God I found you.
136
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,711
I just got a call about your mom.
137
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,463
It's bad. We gotta go right now.
138
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,881
Is she okay?
139
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,217
No, we cannot talk about this right now.
140
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:28,346
We should leave right now
for this very real emergency.
141
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:33,059
We'll pray for her, man.
Right now. Give me your hand.
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00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,606
Jesus, bless this grape soda
as we take this as your blood...
143
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,903
- Was the mom thing too much?
- No, that was fine.
144
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:47,365
My mom died when I was very young,
so I knew she was not on the phone.
145
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,075
What a fool that man was.
146
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,369
Well, good, I guess.
147
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,246
Hey, y'all wanna go
to a tailgating party?
148
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,624
- It's free.
- It's only free 'cause they suck.
149
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,877
We boring you, Reg?
150
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,962
Who goes to the botanical gardens?
151
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,590
It's like a fucking zoo for plants.
152
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,092
Are you cyberstalking Sam
and her new love interest?
153
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,803
Nah, man. I'm just looking
at this horrible audio lag...
154
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,388
Thane forever, man!
155
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,932
I could fix this
bullshit in ten minutes.
156
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,726
Sure, you're definitely
upset exclusively about that
157
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,603
and not about that
video of Sam and Gabe.
158
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,229
Shit just popped up.
159
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,731
Couldn't give a fuck what they thinkin'.
160
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,441
So we're all cool with Sam dating
161
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,234
a Abercrombie model?
162
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,612
I mean, you two practically
share panties, Jo.
163
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,364
What's your take?
164
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,740
I mean, Sam's my girl.
165
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,659
If she likes it, I love it.
166
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,327
You know that shit is weird.
167
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,913
I was surprised at first. I admit.
168
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,375
I mean, I'm not sure I could
let a white man colonize my body,
169
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,586
and I never thought Sam would either.
170
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,713
So do you feel personally betrayed?
171
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:47,634
No. I mean, it's complicated.
172
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,344
I know the heart wants what it wants,
173
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,680
and we're all one and
all that shit, but...
174
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,056
how many times we've had the narrative
175
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,516
that black men aren't good enough
176
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,518
and that we need a white savior?
177
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,062
I mean, I can't help
but feel a little...
178
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,897
Disappointed.
179
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,024
- I didn't say that.
- Didn't have to.
180
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,111
Tell you one thing.
181
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,072
I plan to marry me a
dark-skinned sister.
182
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,533
Have the ashiest,
blackest babies possible.
183
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,660
Won't catch me in these streets
184
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,329
- with a white V.
- Well, I can say,
185
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,957
having conducted multiple
blind taste tests,
186
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,001
you can't tell a white
pussy from a black one.
187
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,003
Friends, in American popular culture,
188
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:26,297
many black men seem
obsessed with white girls.
189
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,465
What is this about?
190
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,925
Anal.
191
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,053
To Thane!
192
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,433
They forgot "student most
likely to pass out drunk
193
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,892
in a public fountain."
194
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,979
Not feeling the school spirit, Reg?
195
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,981
Nah, not really.
196
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,399
Football is the only time
197
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,818
a black face gets
celebrated on this campus.
198
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,069
Never mind their brain
199
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,779
slowly getting pounded into mush.
200
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,239
Right, my brother.
201
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,159
Furthermore, these
burgers come from cows
202
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,452
that were packed in pens
203
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,246
same way we was packed into slave ships.
204
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,040
They want us to eat our ancestors.
205
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,584
No, that's not how Reggie
talks. It's more like...
206
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,169
"Weed is a tool of the government...
207
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,628
- Mm.
- ...to anesthetize
208
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,255
black minds into complacency."
209
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,466
Oh, oh. My name is Reggie,
210
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,217
and 9/11 was a inside job.
211
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,428
Fuck y'all, man.
212
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,512
It was.
213
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,555
What's up?
214
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,099
You guys talking shit about everyone?
215
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435
No, just me.
216
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,896
Damn, 'cause, you know,
present company excluded,
217
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,314
I hate everyone else here.
218
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,733
One, I'm obsessed with you.
219
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,985
Deal with it. Two, who are you?
220
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,945
I'm the girl you guys are
gonna share your weed with.
221
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,907
Ikumi, your new catchall Asian friend.
222
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,158
- All right.
- Okay, girl.
223
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,534
Yes.
224
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,995
My people.
225
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,414
Hey, nice app, Reggie.
226
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,458
Thanks. Glad you like it.
227
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,960
- What, so I'm not woke?
- So say the people.
228
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,755
Maybe because you betrayed
us for your buddy Kurt.
229
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,090
He's doing his best.
230
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,635
How about you do something productive,
instead of trying to make a Wokémon Go?
231
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,096
- It's actually a solid name.
- We will catch them all.
232
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806
No, don't try to pun your
way out of this conflict.
233
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,390
- We're upset.
- Feel free
234
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,684
to register your complaints
in the comment section.
235
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,815
Excuse us.
236
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,442
Clarence Thomas pumpkin
pie eating motherfucker.
237
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,735
Are we really gonna
238
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,529
stay and watch these losers play?
239
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,905
Can't we go see a movie or something?
240
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,032
Yes, movie or something.
241
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,745
Man, I am not about this long line life.
242
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,332
Hey, is that Lionel?
243
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,751
Or a really skinny lesbian?
244
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,509
- Excuse me.
- Oh, hey, Lionel.
245
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,511
Thanks for holding a spot for us.
246
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,680
Oh, hey, guys.
247
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:42,350
I've been waiting here
for you, my friends.
248
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,811
- In fact, I was texting you...
- You can stop talking now.
249
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,396
- No one is listening.
- What you seeing?
250
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,439
Crayons: The Movie.
251
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,524
No, your black ass isn't.
252
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,025
I hear it's delightful.
253
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,319
Ooh, how about Oh, No She Didn't?
254
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,445
That cannot be a real movie.
255
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,742
How many times did they have
256
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,370
to use "get her off"
as a double entendre?
257
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,205
We get it. They worked at a law firm
258
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,499
- and they had sex.
- Those were our choices.
259
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,793
Cheap urban drama or tragedy porn.
260
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,420
Man, we could have watched porn?
261
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,338
And when they do accidentally
give us a quality movie,
262
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,548
they think that gives them a pass
263
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,924
to double down on this shit.
264
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,134
Classic moral license.
265
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,343
Like with Tarantino.
266
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,970
Just because he let Jamie Foxx
267
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,471
kill a bunch of racists in Django,
268
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:24,142
he thinks he can parade around every
painful historical black stereotype.
269
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:28,104
And we gave him a NAACP
Image Award for that shit.
270
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,647
Swear to God, he gets off
271
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,274
on putting Sam Jackson in his movies
272
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,067
just so all the white
characters can call him "nigger"
273
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,819
- for three hours.
- Hard R too.
274
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,030
Yeah, must really suck to
only have two movies this month
275
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,448
with people that look like you.
276
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,700
Try having the same
two options since 2000.
277
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,202
All I got is The Joy Luck
Club and Crouching Tiger.
278
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,038
And kind of Kung Fu Panda.
279
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,998
I like you, but fuck you.
280
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,752
You do realize all we do
is complain about things.
281
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,796
It is as though Americans
would have no identity
282
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,174
if not for their near-constant outrage.
283
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,092
I know so much about
what you don't like.
284
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,928
What do you all like, eh?
285
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,223
- Breakfast for dinner?
- Waller House has breakfast for dinner.
286
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,182
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.
287
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,767
Omelets, things like that.
288
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,560
A good scramble, maybe avocado.
289
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,645
- Get it, get it.
- Yeah.
290
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,021
See? We like stuff.
291
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,981
I am going back to Kenya.
292
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,900
- Rashid.
- Ah, come on, 'Shid.
293
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,443
- You going the wrong way.
- To the left.
294
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,653
- This way?
- Yes.
295
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,947
- Okay.
- He'll be back.
296
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,952
A little...
297
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,621
a little fruit salad.
298
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,790
Whoever decided pancakes
had to be confined
299
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,208
- to certain hours?
- Whoever it was,
300
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,626
that person is a piece of shit.
301
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,088
Ah, you are rubbing off on me, yo.
302
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,507
Al, just let him be African today.
303
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,842
- Okay?
- Hey, everyone on Yik Yak's
304
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,344
talking about some party tonight.
305
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,388
It says lots of booze
and a great playlist.
306
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,973
How can y'all party
307
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,934
when there's shit like this going on?
308
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,812
"Make Campus Safe Again"? From who?
309
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,480
Y'all know who they're talking about.
310
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,357
We need to wake this campus up.
311
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,984
Yeah, but when you say "we,"
312
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,027
we're not the "we" you're talking about.
313
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,904
What's that supposed to mean?
314
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,990
It means you've been checking
your Snapchat all day.
315
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,700
Look, she's with Gabe.
316
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,993
She said it on the fucking radio.
317
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,786
- Deal with it.
- Who wants bacon?
318
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:07,787
I do.
319
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,254
Sorry. You just...
320
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,548
seemed so stressed, and I thought
321
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,843
maybe I could make you smile
again the way she does, but...
322
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,512
- that was stupid, so...
- Nah, nah, nah, nah.
323
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,639
You're right. I needed a distraction,
324
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:30,435
so... thank you for...
325
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,145
dragging me out of my rut.
326
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,655
What do you say we honor Thane
by doing what he did best?
327
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,866
Yep.
328
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,076
Let's get white girl wasted.
329
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,337
Okay, now, that shit,
you can rant about.
330
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,631
Nope. We're here to have fun.
331
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,345
Wow. Wow.
332
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,141
Oh, look.
333
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:13,019
Turns out there's three
lawn jockeys at this party.
334
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,856
Sorry. Having fun.
335
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,816
So much fun.
336
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:23,237
Oh, look. Your teeth are showing.
337
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,323
Ha-ha. They're so cute.
338
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,991
- Yeah, I brushed 'em today.
- Good.
339
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,285
- Sam.
- What up, y'all?
340
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,787
Hey, I didn't know you'd be here.
341
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,704
I's here.
342
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,332
- What y'all doing?
- Not much.
343
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,292
Terrible AASU party,
344
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,211
uh... football tailgate,
345
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,129
a Sanaa Lathan movie.
346
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,632
Y'all hate-watched Oh,
No She Didn't without me?
347
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,342
I fought it at first,
348
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,677
but, you know, Joelle
made me stick it out.
349
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,179
She's a good friend.
350
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,389
She really is.
351
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,516
I need drinks.
352
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,104
- We missed you.
- You missed me?
353
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,605
- Yes.
- I was busy.
354
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:58,898
Busy?
355
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,024
Here you go, babe.
356
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,986
- Busy.
- Reggie.
357
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,033
- Oh, uh...
- Mm...
358
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,702
The botanical gardens.
359
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,121
Yeah, that looked fun.
360
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,706
Yeah, I mean, it's...
361
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,208
more like a zoo without the animals.
362
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,627
- Hmm.
- Or the cages.
363
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,630
Or the animals dragging
kids away from their mothers.
364
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:23,881
Fun. Fun.
365
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,508
So much fun.
366
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,344
Uh... Al, could I get a drink?
367
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,642
- Ah.
- That's, like, number five.
368
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,185
It's not disgusting.
369
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,603
It's hypothetical.
370
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,355
Man, just answer the question.
371
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,024
Fuck, marry, kill.
Me, Rashid and Reggie.
372
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,484
You all seem lovely.
373
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,986
- But you'd kill Rashid, right?
- No way.
374
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,113
Everyone knows I am marriage material.
375
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,532
Lionel, don't answer
these motherfuckers.
376
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,908
But you'd marry me, right?
377
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,287
- Yes.
- Ah, come on, nigga.
378
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,289
We could go antiquing
in Vermont and shit.
379
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,040
"Antiquing in Vermont and shit."
380
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,502
- Reggie! My man.
- Thank God.
381
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:02,628
What you need, brother?
382
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,717
Hey! Reggie's with me.
383
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,135
Dude's in my data structures class.
384
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,052
He's smart as shit.
385
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,805
No one's ever been as fucked
as you guys are about to be.
386
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,348
Who we fucking?
387
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,517
I mean, I'm up for it. I'm just asking.
388
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,896
I need a partner for tipsy trivia.
389
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,314
- You in?
- Yeah.
390
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,316
Come on. We got some ass to kick.
391
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,236
You ain't the only one
with a secret white friend.
392
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,155
Mmm.
393
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,408
Oh.
394
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,243
- He's talking about me.
- Yeah.
395
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,123
All right, all right, all
right. After the first round,
396
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:43,085
Reggie and Addison are on top with
ten, and the Johnson twins have zero.
397
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,713
Zero!
398
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,632
Are all twins this dumb?
399
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,342
Do y'all gotta split
one brain between you?
400
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,552
Okay, okay, hands up.
401
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,471
Hands up, ready to ding in.
402
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,181
All right, when did
the French Revolutio...
403
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,058
1789.
404
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,434
Correct!
405
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,272
Who was the man that went into...
406
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,024
Martin Van Buren.
407
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:09,153
Correct!
408
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,530
What is osmosis?
409
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,698
Ace of Spades. Lake Titicaca.
410
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,908
Hyperhidrosis.
411
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,451
All right, what team came to the US
412
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,161
in 19...
413
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,163
"Rockin'" Robin Yount
and the Milwaukee Brewers.
414
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,581
Boom!
415
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,168
Come on, y'all.
416
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,338
This game is culturally biased against
me, and I'm still whooping that ass.
417
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:31,133
I know y'all's shit and my shit.
418
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,844
We are winning too hard. Can one
of y'all cheat so we can drink?
419
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,180
All right, how about
everyone shots in the kitchen,
420
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,224
except the Johnson twins?
421
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,602
- Ooh.
- Tits.
422
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,479
Kill 'em with all that
intellectual bullshit.
423
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,939
You're the fucking man.
424
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,816
- The boss man!
- Okay, okay, okay.
425
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,067
Get drunk!
426
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,116
So you decided
427
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,784
you're the master in trivia now?
428
00:17:56,867 --> 00:18:00,079
See, the thing about me
is, I'm smart as fuck.
429
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,873
I see.
430
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,294
Um, so since you got all the answers,
431
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,629
what makes me such a good friend?
432
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,888
Oh!
433
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:18,931
Ooh.
434
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,475
Hey!
435
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,899
♪ Times getting hard ♪
436
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,359
♪ But a nigga's still gettin' it ♪
437
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,694
Hey!
438
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,697
♪ This motherfucker ♪
439
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,532
♪ Motherfucker ♪
440
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,159
♪ When you wake Before
you brush your teeth ♪
441
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,452
♪ You grab your strap, nigga ♪
442
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,203
♪ All the time You get
down on your knees ♪
443
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,288
♪ Shootin' craps, nigga ♪
444
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,332
- ♪ Fuck what you heard ♪
- Hey...
445
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,625
♪ Bustin' all the trap niggas ♪
446
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,917
- Man, don't say that.
- What?
447
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,503
You know I don't really use that word.
448
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,465
Yeah, man, I know, but, uh...
449
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,258
I just really heard you say it, though.
450
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:57,345
And now he won't anymore. We
all learned something today.
451
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,977
Wait, so it's bad if I'm just
repeating what's in the song?
452
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,855
- Dude, seriously?
- No, I know. I'm sorry.
453
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,362
But it's not like I'm a racist.
454
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,821
Never said you were a racist.
455
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,907
Just don't say "nigga."
456
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,784
Like, you didn't have
to say it just then.
457
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,080
I guess it just felt kind
of weird to censor myself.
458
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,082
It felt kind of weird
to hear you say it.
459
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,751
I mean, how would you feel
if I started rapping to songs,
460
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,878
you know, that say
"honky" and "cracker"?
461
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,880
I wouldn't care at all.
462
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,840
Exactly, that's the difference.
463
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,926
The fact that you don't care and I do.
464
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,345
Like... you get it?
465
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,765
Reggie getting in a fight about racism.
466
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,143
- I'm shocked.
- Somebody said "nigga" and here come Kurt.
467
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,604
Hey, Addison, heads up.
468
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,440
Just hide anything you don't
want destroyed in a riot.
469
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,733
- Bro.
- Speaking of.
470
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,485
Has anyone seen Sam?
471
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,779
This really feels like something
she would plan to make a point.
472
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,241
Kurt, I'm good. I just don't
like being called a racist.
473
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,451
Again, he never said you were a racist.
474
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,286
He said "don't say that word."
475
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,247
I'm not some redneck.
476
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,873
Is that what you think of me, Reggie?
477
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,458
Yeah, Reggie. You call
your friend a racist
478
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,419
and yet you're surprised
when he's upset.
479
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,045
We're friends, but suddenly,
480
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,922
I'm supposed to give
you nigga dispensation?
481
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,424
Dude, I didn't do anything wrong.
482
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,967
It's a song. Hell, it's in the title.
483
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,343
What am I supposed to do? Hum?
484
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,886
- Yes, nigga.
- Come on, Reggie.
485
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,638
You don't want him
using his white privilege
486
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,265
to rewrite black art, do you?
487
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,267
Come on, man, I been good to you.
488
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,060
You're at a party at my
house, drinking my booze,
489
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,353
and now you attack me?
490
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,312
It's...
491
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,398
Can nobody just have fun anymore?
492
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,067
Oh, I sorry, massa.
493
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,069
We didn't mean to ruin your fun, now.
494
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,405
Sure, back to slavery. It
always comes back to slavery.
495
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,532
Okay, now I'm calling you a racist.
496
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,409
- Yeah?
- Okay, let's all just calm down
497
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,077
and have a good time.
498
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,496
- Troy, stay out of it.
- Even our black president
499
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,206
thinks you guys are being ridiculous.
500
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,959
Yo, "you guys" sounds like a
real "you people" substitute.
501
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,044
This is what happens
when a country refuses
502
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,130
to address its history with slavery.
503
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,673
We need to do here what
they did in Germany.
504
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,884
- What?
- I meant the educating kids
505
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,011
about the nation's horrible past part,
506
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,472
not the, um, concentration camp part.
507
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:05,890
- Okay.
- 'Cause I was about to say.
508
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,944
- I was just miming the song.
- You are saying...
509
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,279
I didn't mean to offend you in any way.
510
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,324
Where's y'all camera at?
511
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:26,869
See?
512
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,788
This is why you don't say "nigga."
513
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,499
- This is what happens.
- Man, this is not my fault.
514
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,417
You and your friends
show up places uninvited
515
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,669
and cause others fucking problems.
516
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,925
What the fuck?!
517
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,927
Get your fuckin' hands off of me!
518
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,762
Everybody, stay where you are.
519
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,515
- Get off him. Get off of him!
- Ah, what the fuck?
520
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,143
Are you a student here?
521
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,062
- What?
- We've had some complaints.
522
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,106
- Are you a student here?
- Yeah, my tuition pays your salary.
523
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,983
He's a student here. We
just got into a little tiff.
524
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,110
That's all. This is my house.
525
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,281
I'm gonna need to see your ID.
526
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,702
- Why you need to see my ID?
- Son, I said ID.
527
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:11,163
- I'm not your son.
- Reggie, do what he says.
528
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,040
- Officer, he's a student...
- I'm not talking to you.
529
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,884
Fuck these pigs, man.
530
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,053
- I said show me some ID!
- Yo, he's a student!
531
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,388
He's a student here.
532
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,014
Why the fuck do you guys have guns?
533
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,558
Did I stutter? Show me some ID!
534
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,145
Okay.
535
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,358
I'm going in my wallet.
536
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,167
Okay.
537
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,340
If you'd shown me that when I asked,
we could have avoided all that.
538
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:07,052
Okay, party's over.
539
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,762
If you don't live here, go home.
540
00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:10,890
Come on.
541
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:14,351
It's awful.
542
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,020
Think we should walk together.
543
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:32,244
It's crazy.
544
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,538
Reggie...
545
00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:38,250
are you okay?
546
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,379
Jesus, are you okay?
547
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:45,633
Are you okay, Reggie?
548
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:47,509
Talk to me.
549
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,762
Reggie, s...
550
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,235
Reggie?
551
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,032
Reggie, are you there?
552
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:18,165
I was thinking about
what happened all night.
553
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,672
We gotta clap back...
554
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:25,673
strong.
555
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,929
Reggie.
556
00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,809
Reggie?
557
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,190
Reggie, are you there? Reggie?
558
00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,658
Reggie.
558
00:24:53,305 --> 00:24:59,202
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