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1
00:00:02,180 --> 00:00:03,320
Whew.
2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,669
Okay, I'm ready. Do it.
3
00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:07,640
Okay.
4
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:08,940
Come on.
5
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:10,950
I can't. I can't.
6
00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:11,910
[SIGHS]
7
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,120
Damn it, Sarika.
8
00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:17,950
Why will no one staple my hand?
9
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,590
Maybe if you told us why.
10
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,020
All right, listen, you dum-dums.
11
00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:25,560
The plan is to injure
myself badly enough
12
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,059
so I can be admitted to the hospital,
13
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:30,080
where my high school
ex, Meredith, works.
14
00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,820
Things were definitely flirty
the last time I saw her,
15
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:36,720
and if I can get her to show
her caretaking side, well,
16
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:40,710
that is gonna be my ticket to bang city.
17
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,040
_
18
00:00:44,550 --> 00:00:45,909
Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
19
00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:47,479
I'm sorry. Do you guys
not look at these?
20
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,979
He's crossed through. He's nothing.
21
00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:50,160
I'm the one that's perfect for her.
22
00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:52,130
Don't make me feel like
I'm wasting my time up here.
23
00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:54,180
Now, who's gonna staple my hand?
24
00:00:57,510 --> 00:01:00,840
Yo, V-dawg, what's going on over there?
25
00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:02,750
It's my house's security app.
26
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:04,879
My parents are out of town,
so I'm turning the lights
27
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,909
on and off to keep robbers away.
28
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:08,820
Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.
Let me see. Let me see.
29
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,990
Wow. Whoa. Your parents are loaded.
30
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,900
Explain your sweaters immediately.
31
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,969
I just like them.
32
00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:18,190
Mm-hmm, all right,
and this is in Toledo?
33
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:20,080
Yeah, Ottawa Hills.
34
00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,550
It's really nice.
35
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,330
I know, because my
father's whore lives there.
36
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:25,889
She's a rich whore.
37
00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:28,979
Okay, well, we're gonna have
to unpack that at some point.
38
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:31,229
But, V-dawg, parents out of town.
39
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:32,000
When's the party?
40
00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,720
My parents said no parties.
41
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,170
Plus, I don't really party.
42
00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:37,970
None of us do.
43
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,179
Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
44
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,640
Does this apply to everybody?
45
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,010
That's crazy.
46
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,889
A bunch of high school
kids who don't party?
47
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:45,439
No, no, no, no, no. Which
one of you is gonna be
48
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,490
the badass to pressure Victor
into have a party this weekend?
49
00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,910
Parties are how memories are made.
50
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:54,599
Nobody has memories
about making good grades.
51
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,299
They have memories
about getting in fights
52
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:59,530
and waking up in tunnels
and crazy stuff like that.
53
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,770
This is sad, man.
54
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:04,440
Wow, I really thought today
was gonna be different,
55
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:05,440
but I guess not, huh?
56
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,120
Just same old same old.
57
00:02:07,610 --> 00:02:08,720
All right, well...
58
00:02:09,850 --> 00:02:10,989
[TOGETHER] Augh.
59
00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:13,219
Ahh! Ohh!
60
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,789
One, two, three, four!
61
00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:17,280
♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪
62
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,960
♪ Next time, well,
I'll be smart ♪
63
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:26,770
♪
64
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:29,329
You can't just use my
name to get in here.
65
00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:31,529
There are actual sick patients
who should take priority.
66
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:32,420
Well, yeah, no, I know,
67
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,200
but you're the only one I trust here.
68
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,460
Can I get a boo-boo kiss? Come on.
69
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,859
Not looking, not looking.
70
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:39,450
Just kidding. I am looking.
71
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:40,840
It's okay. I'm a doctor.
72
00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:42,119
- Hi.
- Hey.
73
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,530
Hey, just delivering a
large earl grey to my main bae.
74
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,810
Ahh.
75
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,720
This is my boyfriend Chase.
76
00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:49,239
Chase, this is Jack Griffin.
77
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,250
Oh.
78
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,099
- Hi.
- Yeah.
79
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,369
The guy who peed on the hospital.
80
00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:55,940
Yeah, well, when you've
got to go, you've got to go.
81
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,200
You know what I mean. Yeah.
82
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,920
So, Mere, when did you switch to tea?
83
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,099
You were always a coffee drinker
84
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,340
back when we were dating.
85
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,860
Yeah, oh, remember we used to
always get lattes before class,
86
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,200
and then we'd say, "See you latte"?
87
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,130
That was so dumb. Why did we do that?
88
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,100
We had a great rapport.
89
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:10,840
"See you latte." That is dumb.
90
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,149
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, excuse me, guys.
91
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,740
That's okay. See you latte.
92
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,949
Oh, so a staple, huh?
93
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:18,700
- Yeah.
- How'd you manage that?
94
00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:20,610
Worksheet accident?
95
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:22,589
Mere tells me you teach high school.
96
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:23,689
Yeah.
97
00:03:23,690 --> 00:03:25,359
Wow, she must talk about me a lot.
98
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,929
I get it, though. I get it.
99
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:29,260
Yeah, did she almost mention
that I have a PhD in philosophy
100
00:03:29,270 --> 00:03:32,099
from Harvard, which no
offense, makes me a real doctor?
101
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:33,369
I mean, let's be honest.
102
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:35,299
Anybody can do that
knee bone's connected
103
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,200
to the neck bone crap.
104
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,420
- [LAUGHS]
- It's so...
105
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,909
Jack, let me tell you,
if you're knee bone's ever
106
00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:40,000
connected to your neck
bone, I'd like you
107
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,159
to come see me right away.
108
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,420
Oh, that's a good point, Chase.
109
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,620
That's a good point; hey,
does it ever feel weird to you
110
00:03:45,630 --> 00:03:48,500
that your name is a verb that
describes what rapist's do?
111
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,929
- What?
- That was the yacht club.
112
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,770
They just called and canceled on us.
113
00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:54,799
We're doing a fund-raiser
for the free clinic.
114
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,820
This is a nightmare.
115
00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:58,690
Everything's booked,
the caterers, the valet.
116
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,180
You know what?
117
00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:02,789
We'll do it at my place.
118
00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:04,289
There are gonna be
over 200 people there.
119
00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:06,020
Wait, wait, I have a place.
120
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,339
Yeah, it's huge.
121
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,859
Yeah, I'm house-sitting
for my friend Victor,
122
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,510
who's a... an adult.
123
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,700
- Are you sure it's okay?
- Yeah.
124
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,890
That's great.
125
00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:20,569
Ah, Victor, there you are.
126
00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,980
Uh, taking your house
this weekend, big guy.
127
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,200
What?
128
00:04:24,410 --> 00:04:26,070
Oh, you guys are doing
"The Great Gatsby"?
129
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,879
Yeah, he ends up dead in a pool.
130
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,279
ALL: [GROAN]
131
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,070
Oh, and Daisy killed Myrtle.
132
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:33,849
ALL: [GROAN]
133
00:04:33,850 --> 00:04:35,960
We're not there yet.
134
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,319
Oh, hey, guys.
135
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,460
I need your help.
136
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:42,789
So this is what's going on.
137
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,529
What the hell was that, Jack?
138
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,640
Yeah, you can't just
throw your apple at the wall.
139
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,799
What are you doing? Pick that up.
140
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,990
You missed, like, hard.
141
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:52,400
[ALL SPEAKING SIMULTANEOUSLY]
142
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,680
- I don't think so.
- I'm not a garbageman.
143
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,150
Hey, I need you guys to come
to a little fund-raiser party
144
00:04:58,180 --> 00:04:59,180
I'm throwing this weekend.
145
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,700
I need a little backup
taking down my ex's
146
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,420
douche boyfriend Chase.
147
00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:03,509
Backup?
148
00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:05,249
Yeah, it's also for,
like, a really good cause
149
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,930
or some junk, you know, so...
150
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,209
And there's gonna be an open bar.
151
00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:10,679
- Mm, mm-hmm.
- Ohh.
152
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:11,910
Now, I could get dressed up
153
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,549
to go flirt with some do-gooders.
154
00:05:13,550 --> 00:05:15,749
Right, well, we have been
drawing from the same pool
155
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,549
of losers for so long.
156
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,320
We've got to mix it up,
meet some quality guys.
157
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,400
Hey, if you're gonna
bang somebody at this party,
158
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,059
do my mind banging Chase?
That would be great for me.
159
00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,690
- Whoa.
- Don't tell her who to bang.
160
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,780
The fun part is me finding out night of.
161
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,620
Yeah, right, right.
162
00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:30,900
All right, I'll see you
guys at the party.
163
00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:32,910
Oh, Ralph.
164
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,939
Hey, toga, toga, toga.
165
00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:37,300
I'm sorry; I couldn't
help overhearing you
166
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,409
talk about a party.
167
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:39,740
Oh, yeah, I'm throwing a party.
168
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,820
You know, my wife, Brenda,
lets me out one night a month.
169
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,079
- It's gonna be this Saturday.
- Oh, that sounds fun.
170
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,449
Doing it to destroy my ex's boyfriend.
171
00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,090
- Oh, he...
- When he thinks he can't be
172
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,080
destroyed any harder...
173
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:48,289
Is this, like, a potluck thing or...
174
00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:49,689
I finish him with something huge.
175
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:51,119
Would love to see that firsthand.
176
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,619
Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure
what it's gonna be yet,
177
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:53,759
but it's gonna be good.
178
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,640
- [BELL RINGS]
- Yeah.
179
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:56,159
- All right, see ya, Ralph.
- See...
180
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,360
See ya. See ya. "See ya, Ralph."
181
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,699
Wait, did not say "See
you there, Ralph."
182
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,259
Maybe he left the "there" part out.
183
00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:05,360
Maybe... okay, you're
talking to yourself.
184
00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,360
You're frightening the students again.
185
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,469
Go in your office.
That's where it's good.
186
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,960
That's where it's... good.
187
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,180
Okay, here we go.
188
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,639
[CLASSICAL MUSIC]
189
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,980
[LAUGHS]
190
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:19,010
This... this is gonna
be my ace in the hole.
191
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,879
See, Meredith always loved
that I played the piano,
192
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,689
so I think what I'll do
is, I'll have somebody just
193
00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,950
really drag this bad boy right
in the center of the room.
194
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,689
- Please be careful.
- All right, V-sauce.
195
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,859
I think we're all set.
It's time for you to leave.
196
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:31,560
I feel like I should stay.
197
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,920
Come on. Look, it's fine.
198
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:34,990
Everything's gonna be fine.
You've got to let go a little.
199
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:36,329
It's not that simple for me.
200
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,060
What if my parents find out.
201
00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,269
You know what you say?
202
00:06:39,270 --> 00:06:41,130
You say, "I know about your affairs."
203
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,090
That always works, and it
will buy you a little time
204
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,100
to think about your next move.
205
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,409
But look, it's never gonna come to that.
206
00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:46,679
This is a sophisticated event.
207
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,870
We're talking give garbage bags tops.
208
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,079
But my container only holds two,
209
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,019
and they don't pick up until Wednesday.
210
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:55,519
Victor, I need you to talk faster,
211
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,590
or if you're gonna keep the
same speed, use less words.
212
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,319
Holds. Two. Wednesday.
213
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,390
Yeah, that'll work.
214
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:04,359
Can't. Do. Whole. Life.
215
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,700
- Look...
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
216
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,970
Victor, we don't care what you say.
217
00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:13,370
We're having a party.
218
00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:21,260
Oh, hey, Jack. It's weird you're here.
219
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:24,310
I mean, whoa, this house is fancy.
220
00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:26,300
Okay, listen, you guys got to leave,
221
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,890
seriously, or you get Fs. Go...
222
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,910
Oh... oh, no.
223
00:07:30,911 --> 00:07:32,379
Okay, no time, no time.
224
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:33,879
Basement. Go. Now.
225
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,749
Let's go. Follow me.
Follow me. Follow me.
226
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,519
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
227
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,660
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
228
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,720
Hey.
229
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,779
The guy who saved the night.
230
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,039
- Ahh...
- Oh, my God.
231
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,969
Planning this thing has
literally been one
232
00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:48,460
unpleasant surprise after another.
233
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,410
You really bailed us out.
234
00:07:49,411 --> 00:07:51,140
Well, I was glad to help, yeah.
235
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:52,379
You look beautiful, by the way.
236
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,700
Yes, she does. I already told her.
237
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,100
Yeah, this place is really nice.
238
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:59,300
So what does your friend Victor do?
239
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:00,450
What does Victor do?
240
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,910
He's a... he... he's
done very well selling...
241
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,750
uh, little pieces of fur.
242
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:08,880
Like pelts?
243
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,640
No.
244
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:13,439
What are you doing a
documentary about Victor?
245
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,940
Get out of here. Come
on. Don't worry about him.
246
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,190
He's... he's doing
good. He's doing good.
247
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:17,780
All right, go... go host, host.
248
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,740
[CHUCKLES] All right, yeah.
249
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:25,749
Guys, shut up.
250
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,689
Shut... guys, shut... shut up.
251
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,090
Shut up. They're gonna hear you.
252
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:30,600
All right, Victor, is
there a basement exit?
253
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:33,079
No. There's also no bathroom.
254
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,109
God, okay, well, if
Meredith sees a flock of geeks
255
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,779
flying out of this basement,
she's gonna know I lied
256
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,010
about this place.
257
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,419
Got to get you out of here somehow.
258
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,380
Okay, maybe I stuff
you guys all in boxes.
259
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,549
- Maybe... well...
- Mr. Griffin, hear us out.
260
00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:45,379
No, Marcus. He won't listen if it's you.
261
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,619
- That's true.
- Mr. Griffin, you were right.
262
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:49,689
We need to make crazy party memories.
263
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,180
We want to end up in a tunnel.
264
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,619
Yeah, I am hell-bent
on fighting tonight.
265
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,759
A lot of business deals
are made over drinks.
266
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,670
And I want to do a panty raid.
267
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,310
What? That's a thing.
268
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,270
It's, like, in every '80s movie.
269
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,440
Please, boss.
270
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:06,770
Okay.
271
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:08,199
All right, fine, fine.
272
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,020
You guys can stay, but I
won't have you ruin this party
273
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,220
for me, so don't make a peep,
and don't leave this room.
274
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,909
This isn't some stupid farce.
275
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,079
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- Ahh.
276
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,280
Okay, bye. Shh. Just...
277
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,080
All right already.
278
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,930
[ALL SPEAKING SIMULTANEOUSLY]
279
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,040
Cheers.
280
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,710
- Cheers.
- Our first party.
281
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,630
Ooh, that dude could give me the news.
282
00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:35,620
Got a nice caboose too.
283
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,419
Oh, married.
284
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:38,560
[GROANS]
285
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,719
Oh, I do love an older gentleman
286
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,880
with a strong brow, you know.
287
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,320
Oh, and... and so does his wife, okay.
288
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,470
It seems like everybody here is married.
289
00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:50,620
I mean, what were we thinking?
290
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,590
These are quality do-gooder men.
291
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,040
I mean, of course they're all taken.
292
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,499
I know, there's a reason why
all the guys in our usual pool
293
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,710
are still single.
294
00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,500
They've always got
something weird going on.
295
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:01,389
Oh, like that guy Bruce
296
00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,269
who used to like to
tongue your belly button.
297
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,270
Oh, God, yeah.
298
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,079
He used to spend, like,
ten minutes in there.
299
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,710
I don't know what he
thought was gonna happen.
300
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:09,710
[SCOFFS] I want satay.
301
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,080
Girl. Come on.
302
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,060
Ten minutes? Really?
303
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:22,590
[LAUGHS]
304
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,910
Uh-oh. Look out there, tiger.
305
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,629
I spent a lot of time on this event.
306
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:27,929
I don't want you wrecking the place.
307
00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:29,329
Oh. I'm not wrecking the place.
308
00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:30,799
It was just a little fumble. I saved it.
309
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,970
You saved it from yourself.
310
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:33,879
[CHUCKLES] Ahh.
311
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,379
Isn't Victor's place beautiful?
312
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,259
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, I...
313
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:39,820
I use it sometimes as
an intellectual retreat.
314
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:41,819
I tell you, I've gotten
some of my best ideas
315
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,230
sitting at that window right
there staring at the sunset.
316
00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:46,059
[LAUGHS AND COUGHS]
317
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,690
Oh, sorry. I just...
318
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,810
That window actually faces the east.
319
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:51,760
So I guess you're telling
me this is the only house
320
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,999
in the world where the
sun sets in the east.
321
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,199
No, I'm just saying...
322
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,339
You know where north is, Jack?
323
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,769
- Normally, yeah.
- It's that way.
324
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,570
I just... I got a little
turned around, 'cause it's...
325
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:01,870
You know, it's not my house.
326
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,909
It's my friend's...
Excuse me one second.
327
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:05,250
[SILENTLY]
328
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:07,960
Okay, it's just a party.
329
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:09,999
And we're about to go in.
330
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,040
Jack will be happy to
see us, so here we go.
331
00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:14,169
Here we... okay.
332
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:15,639
All right, let them go.
333
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,940
Let them go, and then
you go, so here we go.
334
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,370
Don't over think it.
335
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,540
Okay, you're a cool party guy.
336
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,110
You're a cool party guy.
337
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:26,710
You're a cool party guy.
338
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:32,270
No, thank you.
339
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,370
[LAUGHS]
340
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:42,420
Pardon me, okay, pot stickers...
341
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,410
nothing.
342
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,290
And you walked straight through.
343
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:03,839
Well, look at that, so fine.
344
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,630
Put roses on my grave, for I am dead.
345
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:10,150
- But let's hold for wife.
- Mm, mm-kay.
346
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,639
- Hold.
- Mm-kay.
347
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:13,810
Holding still.
348
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,800
- Maybe she's in the bathroom.
- Okay.
349
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,359
- Give her five.
- Okay.
350
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,820
Wait, he's not wearing a ring.
351
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,979
- Oh, dibs!
- Dibs!
352
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:22,960
Oh...
353
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,449
Ohh.
354
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:27,249
Hello. I'm Mary.
355
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,380
How are you?
356
00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:30,419
Well, maybe you can talk to him later.
357
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:33,360
Mm-mm, no, she was faster on the draw.
358
00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,150
Now she gets him for life.
359
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,310
And that's the rule of dibs.
360
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,630
[SIGHS]
361
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:41,850
_
362
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:47,290
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
363
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,029
♪
364
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:50,929
♪ Work it ♪
365
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,799
♪ Come on girl ♪
366
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,130
♪ Work it ♪
367
00:12:55,370 --> 00:12:57,800
Will you have my back
when I plunk a bitch?
368
00:12:57,850 --> 00:13:00,549
Uh, I don't know. I have soft bones.
369
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:02,349
I can't believe I'm
drinking with my bully.
370
00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:04,919
I'm so sorry I used to throw
your backpack in that pond.
371
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,749
It wasn't about you. It was my stuff.
372
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,350
Yeah, I understand, okay.
373
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,889
I wear these dark clothes,
374
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,100
'cause I'm trying to figure
out who I am, but underneath it,
375
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,059
I'm just a guy who loves to dance.
376
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,759
♪
377
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,500
♪ Jerk back, give me some more ♪
378
00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:21,239
I love you guys too.
379
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,940
I'm so drunk.
380
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:24,509
We love Victor.
381
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:27,049
Hey, man, V, I've got
to pee so bad, so...
382
00:13:27,050 --> 00:13:28,779
Oh, oh, I know. I know.
383
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:30,749
Me too, so bad.
384
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:32,330
Me too. I've got to go.
385
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,459
Oh, oh, we can't go upstairs.
386
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,080
We... we just have to hold it.
387
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:37,729
Hi, hi, hello, hi.
388
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,100
You guys hear me?
389
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,999
Great. My name's Jack Griffin.
390
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,869
Or as some of you may know me,
the guy who saved the night.
391
00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:46,980
[LAUGHS]
392
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:50,809
Anyway, I just wanted to raise a glass
393
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,239
to the lovely Meredith Covey,
394
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,210
and, of course, to this wonderful cause.
395
00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:57,060
And what does a free clinic need?
396
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,610
How about a few of my favorite things?
397
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:02,039
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
398
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,240
All right.
399
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,609
[PLAYING "MY FAVORITE THINGS"]
400
00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:14,150
♪
401
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,339
- Are we in E minor here?
- Yeah.
402
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:18,280
Yeah, now we're flying.
403
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:23,679
♪
404
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,879
Take it easy, man, relax.
405
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,330
This is how I relax.
406
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:33,890
♪
407
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:42,499
[PIANO CLANGS, GLASS SHATTERS]
408
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,799
[ALL MURMURING]
409
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,940
[QUIRKY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
410
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:54,530
What a fun surprise
that was, dueling pianos,
411
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:55,939
but with one piano.
412
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,679
I guess our lives can
be overtaken by chaos
413
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,210
at any moment, which is why
the free clinic is so important,
414
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:02,410
so please keep your donations coming.
415
00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:04,180
Peace.
416
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,999
Jack, a piano fight?
417
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,099
Can you please hold it together?
418
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,060
You're being really immature.
419
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:10,569
Chase is being immature.
420
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:12,830
Well, maybe, but I'm
talking to you right now.
421
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,060
Yeah, okay, well, I
hope you're gonna talk
422
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,100
to him about it too, you know.
423
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,190
Actually, there he is.
Hey, Chase, Chase,
424
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:19,670
Meredith has a... yeah.
425
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:20,980
Hey, babe.
426
00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,700
- That's really loud in my ear.
- Oh.
427
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:27,009
- Did you see that?
- Yeah, she saw it, man.
428
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,160
She saw it, and she
was just talking about
429
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:29,080
how immature you were being.
430
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,800
Yeah, well, you're the most
immature person I've ever met,
431
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,340
and I've met tons of babies.
432
00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:35,939
I just can't believe
you helped out in Haiti,
433
00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:38,370
Myanmar, and Guam all
within the same year.
434
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:41,379
I didn't know there were
any quality single guys left.
435
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,420
Well, that's why I'm still single.
436
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,720
I haven't stayed in one place until now.
437
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,950
Whew, I just got a sensual swell.
438
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,759
Take off your shoe.
439
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,559
Oh, okay. That's what you're into?
440
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,400
Yeah, I want to see
those little foot fingers.
441
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,680
Hmm? You don't call them toes?
442
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,860
I want to dress those
naughty little piggies.
443
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:08,060
Excuse?
444
00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:09,470
I'm into toe clothes.
445
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,139
You know, a little, you
know, double-breasted suit
446
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,709
for your big toe, like, you know,
447
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,479
and then a little fun
summer dress for the ladies,
448
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,279
you know, summertime,
and then, you know,
449
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,909
something that you
would wear to a funeral
450
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:22,979
or something like that or...
451
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,370
Okay, you know what?
452
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,640
I'ma give you my number, but
stay away from my belly button.
453
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,070
Fair enough.
454
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:31,920
Ehh... okay, I have to pee.
455
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:37,060
My bladder is too small
to be partying this much.
456
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,489
Wait. [SNIFFS]
457
00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:43,510
What the hell?
458
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,580
Hey, why is this planter full of gin?
459
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,999
Okay, enough with the witch hunt.
460
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,370
It was me.
461
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,520
I've been faking.
462
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,109
I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not ready
463
00:16:58,110 --> 00:16:59,310
to do drinking yet.
464
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,109
No, Victor, we're sorry.
465
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:03,119
[TOGETHER] Yeah.
466
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,479
You've been such a gracious host,
467
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,079
and how do we repay you?
468
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,480
By peer-pressuring you?
469
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,140
But you guys haven't.
470
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,190
You've been lovely
guests from the beginning.
471
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,020
[TOGETHER] Aww.
472
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,360
Victor, it's okay to be scared.
473
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,699
- Give me the shot.
- Whoo!
474
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,970
- Yeah.
- Do it.
475
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,490
Live fast. Die young.
476
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:33,140
Okay.
477
00:17:34,510 --> 00:17:35,809
Ahh.
478
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:37,050
[GROANS]
479
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,310
Oh, no.
480
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,349
E minor wasn't even the
right choice for the song.
481
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,449
Uh, you wasn't even the
right choice for the song.
482
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:47,240
Okay, enough.
483
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:48,919
Tonight is about the free clinic.
484
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,940
You guys might not care
about it, but I really do.
485
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,470
All right, look, I kind
of feel like I gave her
486
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,920
what she needs, and you
weren't able to do that,
487
00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:56,400
so why don't we just shake
hands and you admit that I won.
488
00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:58,020
_
489
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,660
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Pardon me.
490
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,820
- Victor?
- Oh, God.
491
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:04,389
- I've got to pee. Oh.
- [GAGGING]
492
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:06,830
- What are...
- Wait, is that Victor?
493
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,329
- Ohh.
- Excuse me.
494
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:09,560
Who are all these kids?
495
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:10,699
- Ohh!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
496
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,600
- Are they drunk?
- Move, move.
497
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,140
Wait, there are students here?
498
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,020
Oh, my God. We've got to bounce.
499
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,260
Uh-uh, I'm not going down for this.
500
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:18,200
Jack, please tell me
that we are not holding this
501
00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:19,750
fund-raiser at one of
your student's houses.
502
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,740
- Oh, God.
- Look, everything...
503
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,810
Everything's gonna be fine.
504
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,290
Panty raid!
505
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,319
Whoo! Yeah!
506
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,749
- Uh...
- Whoo! Whoo!
507
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,220
It is in every '80s movie.
508
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:36,790
This party's about to
get a servin' of Durbin.
509
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:38,969
Second time's a charm.
510
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,320
Ralph, no, no, no. This
party is not for you.
511
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,300
See, I knew I wasn't invited.
512
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:45,299
This place is a freakin' maze.
513
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,409
How am I supposed to pee
if there are no bathrooms?
514
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:48,939
- Everyone...
- Seriously?
515
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,060
Excuse me.
516
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,090
Everyone, could I have
your attention, please?
517
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,380
Sorry, it... sorry.
518
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,579
It has come to my attention
that we don't have permission
519
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,210
to be here, so unfortunately,
520
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,280
we all need to leave immediately.
521
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:02,520
You okay, bud?
522
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,850
I feel great.
523
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,069
Thanks for letting us
stay. You were right.
524
00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:09,560
I was wound too tight,
and I needed to let go.
525
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:13,000
Now I have a crazy party memory.
526
00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:15,170
I've got to go journal
this before I black out.
527
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:16,590
Whoa, what do you mean, "black out?"
528
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,480
How much did you drink?
529
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,130
- One shot.
- One sh...
530
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,940
All right, listen to me. Listen to me.
531
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,200
You're gonna be fine, okay?
532
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:25,439
- Okay.
- All right.
533
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,619
- You got a breath mint?
- Yeah.
534
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:28,459
- Yeah, use it.
- Okay, I'll be back.
535
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,430
Okay.
536
00:19:29,431 --> 00:19:30,760
Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
537
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:31,929
Excuse me, guys. Excuse me.
538
00:19:31,930 --> 00:19:33,399
Could I just have your
attention, please,
539
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,579
just for one quick second?
540
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:38,150
It is true that we don't have
permission to be here, okay?
541
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:40,020
But that is mostly my fault,
so please don't take it out
542
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,099
on the free clinic.
543
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,669
These guys, they're relying on you.
544
00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:45,280
Your contributions, they
keep the lights on and the...
545
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,840
Band-Aids sticky, or whatever
else goes on in a free clinic.
546
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,809
You get my point. Look,
before you leave, please,
547
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:55,680
just hit the donation table first, okay?
548
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:58,190
All right, great, thank you.
549
00:19:58,450 --> 00:19:59,730
Thanks, everybody.
550
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,890
Thank you, Jack.
551
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:03,699
- Hey.
- Hey.
552
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,330
You want to hit the silent
auction table with me?
553
00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:06,969
- Yes.
- Okay, 'cause I think Jack
554
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,739
probably has to tuck in his friends.
555
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,960
Ahh-ahh!
556
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:11,170
Whoa.
557
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,500
Now you, lady, punch me in the face.
558
00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:15,529
Oh, no, no, no, no, I
didn't ask her to do that.
559
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:17,270
That's... that was just gravy.
560
00:20:17,290 --> 00:20:18,400
Come on. Let's go.
561
00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,709
I'll... I'll talk to you soon.
562
00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:21,670
All right, all right, easy, tiger.
563
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,790
Get with your friends, Heather.
564
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:24,740
Wow, she wasn't kidding.
565
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,619
All right, well, time to leave.
566
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,300
Let's get you in some
Ubers. What do you say, huh?
567
00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:34,089
There were five entire garbage bags
568
00:20:34,090 --> 00:20:35,900
stuffed in the bins, Victor.
569
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,000
Did you have a party?
570
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,070
I know about the affairs.
571
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,820
Go to your room.
572
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,550
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www.addic7ed.com
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