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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:49,050 Thank you, gentlemen. 2 00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,770 End this afternoon's lectures. 3 00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:52,670 Thank you. 4 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,690 Good morning. 5 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:05,370 Good morning. 6 00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,530 I'm Max Killader. 7 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,350 Professor Max Killader? 8 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,350 That is quite right. 9 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,250 If you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll 10 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,670 tell the assistant manager that you're here. 11 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,290 Thank you. 12 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,890 Do you mind filling out one of these 13 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:15,350 for me, please? 14 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,010 Not at all. 15 00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:17,650 Oh, Mr Cranley? 16 00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:19,410 Yes, it's Bates here. 17 00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:22,050 Yes, Professor Max Killader has arrived. 18 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,430 Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir. 19 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,750 The assistant manager will be with you in 20 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,550 one moment, sir. 21 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,250 Very good. 22 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:29,930 Are they tarts? 23 00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:31,410 I'm sorry? 24 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,570 The girls, are they tarts? 25 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,970 Oh, I believe the students, Professor, are here 26 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:36,470 for the conference. 27 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,550 Yes, yes, of course. 28 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,110 Many of them are here for my lectures. 29 00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,190 This is a holiday resort. 30 00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,490 Surely some of them are lobby girls? 31 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,090 Ah, well, I... 32 00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,090 Can I help? 33 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,550 I hope so, sir, because the professor here 34 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:49,070 has a query. 35 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,590 Well, that's what we're here to answer. 36 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:51,850 Professor Killader? 37 00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:52,470 That's right. 38 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,690 I'm Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the 39 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:54,930 Greenleaf. 40 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:55,450 How do you do? 41 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,030 How do you do? 42 00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,190 Now, how can I help you, sir? 43 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,590 Well, I simply ask if some of these 44 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,170 girls here were hookers. 45 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:01,970 Hookers? 46 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:02,070 Yes. 47 00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,730 What a suggestion. 48 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,310 Why, Professor Killader, the Greenleaf is just about 49 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,370 the most discriminating hotel on the island. 50 00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:11,150 These girls are graduate students, most of them. 51 00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,770 I can assure you our security would allow 52 00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:15,190 nothing off colour in the lobby. 53 00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,070 Really? 54 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,350 How depressing. 55 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,750 Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor. 56 00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:22,770 I was delayed in Tokyo. 57 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,450 I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but 58 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,210 you know how ludicrously inefficient the Russians are. 59 00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:29,410 Fifteen, please. 60 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,050 Do I have a suite or a room? 61 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,730 Why, Professor, all of our accommodation consists of 62 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,970 studio suites, which are made up of a 63 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,550 large living area, a terrace, with a jacuzzi 64 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,390 equipped bathroom. 65 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,470 Yes, yes, I understand. 66 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,050 It's a room. 67 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,070 I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has got 68 00:02:45,070 --> 00:02:46,150 the only proper suite. 69 00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,210 I can assure you, Professor, there is no 70 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,730 favouritism at the Greenleaf. 71 00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,290 All of you visiting archaeologists will receive the 72 00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,610 same high standard of personalised service and ultra 73 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,490 modern but gracious accommodation. 74 00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,670 Why are these called the Virgin Islands? 75 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,350 I've no idea. 76 00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:04,510 Seems a trifle ominous. 77 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,930 I'll have a maid bring up your whisky, 78 00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:14,270 sir. 79 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,390 Are the maids available? 80 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,270 This is a decent hotel, Professor. 81 00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:19,690 Really? 82 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:21,310 I'm sorry. 83 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:22,470 I apologise. 84 00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,630 I guess it's just that I'm feeling a 85 00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,370 little bit jumpy, sir. 86 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:28,030 You see, my wife's returning from Boston tomorrow 87 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,290 with our little girl, and I'm always kind 88 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,690 of nervous when they fly, sir. 89 00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,130 Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you 90 00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,750 would just remember that this is a conference 91 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,130 hotel. 92 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,490 Curly, have this put up in the lobby, 93 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:39,950 please. 94 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,810 I'll have it attended to, sir. 95 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,210 Thank you. 96 00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,030 So, Barnum's arrived, has he? 97 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,350 Good morning, Professor Maddox. 98 00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:49,730 Morning. 99 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,690 You've turned your lobby into a casino. 100 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:52,170 Really? 101 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:56,130 The greatest showman of archaeology does the Mortimer 102 00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:56,930 Wheeler stunt. 103 00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,850 People come up to him with a bit 104 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,590 of pottery or such like, and he says 105 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,770 what it is, what they are. 106 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,550 Only he does it for money. 107 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,450 He bets the customers $100 he'll get it 108 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:08,710 right. 109 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:09,590 Does he always win? 110 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,890 No, not always. 111 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:14,650 Merely a modest nine times out of ten. 112 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,670 Just enough to make him a small fortune. 113 00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,690 But I think he does it mainly to 114 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,450 impress the girls. 115 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,310 I see. 116 00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:22,770 Is there a Mrs Colada? 117 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:23,750 No. 118 00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:28,890 He's, shall we say, addicted to variety. 119 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,230 If Max Colada sees a girl twice, he 120 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,610 thinks the affair's getting stale. 121 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:36,070 You mean he's a womaniser, a seducer. 122 00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:42,030 The Casanova de nos jours. 123 00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,490 You wanted to see me, Mr Cranley? 124 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,450 I'm the roommate. 125 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:46,410 Oh, yes. 126 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,270 Aren't you the English girl, Ellie... 127 00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:48,910 Ellie Somerton. 128 00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,250 That's it, Miss Somerton. 129 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,210 Are you here on a working vacation, Miss 130 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:52,430 Somerton? 131 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:53,310 Yes, I am. 132 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:54,610 I need some sun. 133 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,150 Going to medical school when I get back. 134 00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:56,990 Oh, really? 135 00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,850 I have a great respect for doctors. 136 00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,870 Would you please take a bottle of single 137 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,310 malt whisky to room 15? 138 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:02,710 Of course. 139 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:03,890 And you take care now. 140 00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:04,810 Yes, Mr Cranley. 141 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:07,270 What do you mean, take care? 142 00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,450 Oh, it's nothing to get upset about. 143 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,150 Jeff, would you please put one in each 144 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:11,530 room, please? 145 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,850 It's just that sometimes some of our visitors, 146 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,450 our gentleman visitors, they get the wrong idea 147 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,890 about our girls, if you take my meaning. 148 00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,670 You mean they assume we're cool girls? 149 00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:20,410 Oh, no, no, no, no. 150 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,870 That's putting far... 151 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,990 Yes, I guess that's it. 152 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,270 Oh, it's happened to me before. 153 00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,130 I've had some extraordinary experiences. 154 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:27,990 Once in a hotel in Grand Rapids... 155 00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:28,570 Yes, yes, yes. 156 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,610 Well, we're just running a conference centre here, 157 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:31,090 Miss Somerton. 158 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,630 We don't often encounter these types of problems. 159 00:05:33,930 --> 00:05:35,630 But the chap in 15's an exception. 160 00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,090 Oh, well, Professor Collada is a very distinguished 161 00:05:38,090 --> 00:05:38,930 archaeologist. 162 00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:41,450 But off the record, he's also some sort 163 00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:42,510 of a Casanova. 164 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,310 Seems he's irresistible to some women. 165 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:45,170 That's him there. 166 00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:48,270 Doesn't look irresistible to me. 167 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:53,790 Room service. 168 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:57,430 Come in. 169 00:05:57,430 --> 00:05:58,350 The door's not locked. 170 00:05:59,030 --> 00:05:59,810 Ah, a woman. 171 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:00,830 Just what I need. 172 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,430 Now, just a minute. 173 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:03,590 To help me unpack. 174 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,250 I'm afraid that's not possible. 175 00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:07,090 I'm only allowed to do room service. 176 00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:09,390 But I'm the original helpless male. 177 00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:11,450 Observe this scene of primal chaos. 178 00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:12,930 Yeah, it's a bit of a mess. 179 00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:13,170 Here. 180 00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:14,830 What's all that for? 181 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:15,850 A tip, of course. 182 00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,370 But if you could see a way to 183 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:17,970 lending a hand... 184 00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:19,270 Oh, all right. 185 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:20,730 But not a word to anyone. 186 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:21,890 Of course not. 187 00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:22,970 I'll pour us a drink. 188 00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:23,990 Oh, no, you won't. 189 00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:24,550 Very well. 190 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:25,770 I'll pour myself a drink. 191 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,070 Are you interested in archaeology? 192 00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:33,730 Yes. 193 00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:34,890 I don't know much about it. 194 00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:35,890 Going to be a doctor. 195 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:36,810 Are you now? 196 00:06:37,170 --> 00:06:37,710 Thank you. 197 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:38,990 You seem surprised. 198 00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:39,890 I confess I am. 199 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:40,270 Cheers. 200 00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:41,150 Summer job. 201 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:42,910 Going to medical school in October. 202 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:43,510 Really? 203 00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:44,610 Yeah. 204 00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:45,410 Is that all right? 205 00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:48,570 Well, very ship-shape indeed. 206 00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:49,850 Here. 207 00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:52,450 Thank you, sir. 208 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,510 You're a remarkably attractive girl. 209 00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:59,470 And you're a very accomplished flatterer. 210 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:00,370 I am indeed. 211 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,570 Perhaps we should have dinner together and compare 212 00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:02,990 notes. 213 00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:05,530 We poor skivvies aren't allowed to dine with 214 00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:06,010 the guests. 215 00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:06,410 Pity. 216 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:08,610 How can we meet again? 217 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,930 Send down for something. 218 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,790 I'll have to bring it up, won't I? 219 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,230 Splendid idea. 220 00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:18,590 That poster of yours in the lobby? 221 00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:19,170 Yes. 222 00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:20,190 What does it mean? 223 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:21,930 It means that the fool and his money 224 00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:22,850 are soon parted. 225 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,610 If you want to know how, be in 226 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,070 the lobby at about ten this evening. 227 00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:33,870 Irish filigree brooch. 228 00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:36,030 Late 12th century. 229 00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:39,130 Almost certainly from Connemara. 230 00:07:39,130 --> 00:07:42,270 Must be part of the Templeton horde. 231 00:07:42,470 --> 00:07:43,490 Am I right? 232 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,150 Happily, yes. 233 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:46,470 Oh, well. 234 00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:48,330 Thank you. 235 00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:49,190 Thank you. 236 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,490 Well, it's Chinese, I'm sure. 237 00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:57,590 Yes. 238 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,490 It's a Tang shirt on glazed pottery. 239 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,090 Am I right? 240 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:04,150 I'm afraid not, Professor Gelada. 241 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,910 It is prehistoric Greek. 242 00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:07,730 Greek? 243 00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,590 What? 244 00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:11,330 Made from Yellow River clay? 245 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:12,890 Very well. 246 00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:15,250 I'll pay you, but as you know, I 247 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:17,270 have the right to submit the object to 248 00:08:17,270 --> 00:08:18,590 an appropriate authority. 249 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,370 And if he or she supports my judgement, 250 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:23,510 you will then have to decide whether to 251 00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:24,170 return my money. 252 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,470 But by then, whatever you decide, you will 253 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:29,150 be an object of ridicule, Professor Dakthatidas. 254 00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,790 Possibly I have made an error. 255 00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:32,530 I brought several pieces. 256 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:33,409 Let me see. 257 00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:34,549 Greek. 258 00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,789 Yes, of course. 259 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:39,990 This is the Chinese and not the Greek 260 00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,549 shirt. 261 00:08:40,549 --> 00:08:41,130 Thank you. 262 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:42,650 So sorry, Professor. 263 00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:43,890 So sorry, Professor. 264 00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:44,910 This is mine. 265 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:45,610 Oh. 266 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:48,170 Thank you. 267 00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:56,630 Very sinuous. 268 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,310 Classic example. 269 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,790 That's all very well, but what is it? 270 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:03,730 It's an amulet. 271 00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:05,330 I'm an Indian. 272 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,650 Mid-12th century. 273 00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:09,490 Probably from Arizona. 274 00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:10,210 Right? 275 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,990 Well, I never thought you'd guess that. 276 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,030 I was with my daddy when he found 277 00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:15,330 it. 278 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,070 Oh, Professor Dalton of Veracruz. 279 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:22,070 Oh, then you must be Angela Dalton. 280 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:22,970 Do you believe it? 281 00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:23,730 That's right. 282 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:27,330 And there goes my fun money. 283 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:30,670 Well, a girl's fun money is a serious 284 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:31,170 matter. 285 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:32,390 Come here. 286 00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:35,610 Stand here beside me and we'll see if 287 00:09:35,610 --> 00:09:37,610 we can think up some consolation prize. 288 00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:06,540 Is everything all right, Miss Dalton? 289 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,160 And so we should never forget when challenged 290 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,500 by historians that the records may, and were 291 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,720 frequently intended to, tell lies. 292 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:31,380 But the artefacts are themselves crystallised truth. 293 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,440 Very good. 294 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,040 Thank you very much. 295 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,270 Hi, Mrs. Cranley. 296 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:51,490 How nice to see you. 297 00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:52,290 Hello, Jeff. 298 00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:54,990 Lizzie, what are you doing here? 299 00:10:55,090 --> 00:10:56,410 I thought I'd better come home and check 300 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:56,890 up on you. 301 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:57,390 What? 302 00:10:57,610 --> 00:10:58,350 I'm teasing. 303 00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,010 We missed you. 304 00:10:59,370 --> 00:10:59,890 Both of us. 305 00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:01,330 But you're not due back till tomorrow. 306 00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:01,750 Right. 307 00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:02,390 Off I go. 308 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,570 No, no, no, no, no. 309 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,670 Well, at least you'll be a happy man. 310 00:11:07,170 --> 00:11:07,870 Boy, the bag. 311 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:08,230 Thank you. 312 00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:09,110 Let me hold it. 313 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,010 Telephone call for Professor Smith. 314 00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:15,350 Professor Smith to reception, please. 315 00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:17,010 Now, Jasper, what is the matter? 316 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:18,970 Oh, it's nothing. 317 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:21,770 It's just so great to have you both 318 00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:22,150 back. 319 00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:23,650 I'm always afraid when you go to the 320 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,710 States that you'll stay there. 321 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:25,830 Why would I do that? 322 00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:27,510 Because I'm such a dumbo. 323 00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:30,310 You're so artistic and educated and from New 324 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,290 England, and I'm from Beatrice, Nebraska. 325 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,350 Jasper, you're not a dumbo. 326 00:11:34,530 --> 00:11:37,630 Maybe you're not an intellectual, but I had 327 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,650 enough of those in college. 328 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,970 I wasn't very impressed with their human qualities. 329 00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:43,890 You're the kindest, strongest man I ever met. 330 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:47,530 And I wouldn't have anyone else for a 331 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:47,790 husband. 332 00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:49,730 Now, come on. 333 00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:50,610 Let's go. 334 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:53,430 It is time to put up the poster 335 00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,750 of the voodoo man. 336 00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:55,270 What? 337 00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:59,090 That's Professor Max Collada. 338 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:01,210 You better be careful if you bump into 339 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:01,550 him. 340 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,170 I trust you'll have a dervish with me. 341 00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,190 The most civilised of all cocktails. 342 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,270 I can't. 343 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,010 That's why I ordered two, please. 344 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:15,950 Oh, all right. 345 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,050 I've had a hell of a day. 346 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:17,570 Very good. 347 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:18,190 Sit down. 348 00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:19,130 Only for two minutes? 349 00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:19,690 Of course. 350 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:23,790 May I know your name? 351 00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:24,510 Ellie. 352 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,450 Ellie Somerton. 353 00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:26,470 Cheers, Ellie Somerton. 354 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:27,230 Cheers. 355 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:31,390 I say, I was very impressed. 356 00:12:31,490 --> 00:12:31,730 Really? 357 00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:32,650 What by? 358 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,150 Your amazing performance. 359 00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:36,290 You know, identifying those things in the lobby. 360 00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:38,510 How can you possibly know so much? 361 00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:40,730 Well, I have a most capacious brain. 362 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,430 Can any archaeologist do that? 363 00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:43,370 Certainly not. 364 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:44,430 If they could, they would. 365 00:12:44,970 --> 00:12:47,150 I'm a television star in five countries and 366 00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:49,190 I make three times as much that way 367 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:50,710 as I do by being a professor. 368 00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:51,850 I'm not surprised. 369 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:53,270 You won every single time. 370 00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:54,450 I don't often lose. 371 00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:56,730 Still, you mustn't think I'm just a showman. 372 00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,610 I'm also the world's leading authority on the 373 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,190 pre-Columbian era. 374 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,930 Some of those objects were very beautiful. 375 00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:06,610 That little statue, a Truscan, was it? 376 00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:07,890 Hmm. 377 00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:10,510 That was rather delicate. 378 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:15,570 Of course, aesthetic considerations are secondary to an 379 00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:16,290 archaeologist. 380 00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:20,230 Wait. 381 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:28,390 I have something here that might interest you. 382 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,670 It's lovely. 383 00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:32,930 What is it? 384 00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:34,310 Oh, it's unique. 385 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:37,150 I found that figurine myself in Central America. 386 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:40,030 It has certain Mayan features but is not 387 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:42,730 closely related to any known Mayan artefact. 388 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:46,710 So, it might represent a lost civilisation. 389 00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:47,330 Really? 390 00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:48,630 I see. 391 00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:50,710 It's a little awe-inspiring, isn't it? 392 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,830 Well, I'd like you to have it. 393 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,070 You're joking. 394 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:55,790 Not at all. 395 00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:58,770 Lovely things belong to those who appreciate them. 396 00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,430 It must be really old and valuable. 397 00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:04,070 About 900 years old. 398 00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:08,010 Its value is that it'll always remind you 399 00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:08,370 of me. 400 00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:10,050 I see. 401 00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:11,510 No, no, please, please. 402 00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:14,090 I find you tremendously attractive but the figurine 403 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:15,870 is yours with no strings attached. 404 00:14:16,310 --> 00:14:18,690 After all, there are quite a few, how 405 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,770 shall I put it, willing dames in the 406 00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:21,030 hotel. 407 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,030 Yes. 408 00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:24,830 And I should warn you, Mr Crowley's noticed 409 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,010 what you get up to with them. 410 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,390 He's very cross about it. 411 00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:28,470 I dare say. 412 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,590 Well, Puritans spend half their lives in a 413 00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:31,970 rage. 414 00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:39,190 About the figurine, I ask only one thing. 415 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:40,350 What's that? 416 00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:42,490 Don't ever sell it. 417 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:45,450 I'm bestowing upon you an object of beauty, 418 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:47,470 not an investment. 419 00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:49,350 Do you promise? 420 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,410 Yes, of course. 421 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:52,310 Thank you. 422 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,380 Um... 423 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:02,140 It's a wonderful present. 424 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:03,320 Sure. 425 00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:12,560 Sure. 426 00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:17,260 Oh, Mrs Cranley, going for a walk? 427 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:17,620 Yes. 428 00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,420 Mrs Cranley. 429 00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:21,960 Mrs Cranley, hello. 430 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:22,720 Hello. 431 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,180 I'm Max Calada. 432 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,160 I know. 433 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,960 Your husband has been awaiting your return with 434 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,480 scarcely concealed desire, and I'll see why. 435 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,200 Yes. 436 00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,720 Well, we just got back from the States 437 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,500 and it was wonderful. 438 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:35,480 Yeah. 439 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:38,500 Nearly as attractive as her mother. 440 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,560 Oh, it's clear that motherhood suits you. 441 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,280 Some women find it to be an almost 442 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,460 erotic experience. 443 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:47,680 Is that how it strikes you? 444 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,100 Well, I... 445 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:49,960 I don't really know. 446 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,920 I would imagine you were a woman with 447 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,860 strong erotic feelings. 448 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:58,000 I've noticed that physical beauty and voluptuous nature 449 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,720 often go together. 450 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,900 I have to walk her now. 451 00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:03,720 Of course. 452 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:06,680 I trust we'll have an opportunity to probe 453 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,760 these mysteries further sometime. 454 00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:09,880 I doubt it. 455 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:10,220 Goodbye. 456 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:10,700 Please. 457 00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:16,340 Cranley! 458 00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,320 I'd like to order a bottle of champagne. 459 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:20,300 What for, Professor? 460 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,400 To celebrate your wife's return, I just made 461 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,620 her acquaintance, and I'd be delighted if you'd 462 00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,240 both join me at the cocktail hour. 463 00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:27,980 I'm sorry to have to say this, Professor, 464 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,460 but I do not feel happy for my 465 00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:30,540 wife to be in your presence. 466 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:30,840 What? 467 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,720 I have explained to her how I feel, 468 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,740 and she understands. 469 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:39,680 Cranley, I have no design on your wife. 470 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:40,720 Why not? 471 00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:41,960 She's female. 472 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,800 Professor Collada, I have a great respect for 473 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,260 your learning. 474 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,860 And I have to tell you that my 475 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,340 wife has an interest in archaeology. 476 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,220 As a student, she went on some digs. 477 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:53,360 But after some of the things I've seen, 478 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:53,800 sir... 479 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,620 What exactly have you seen, Cranley? 480 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,380 Just one example, sir. 481 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:01,220 Yesterday afternoon, as I happened to be inspecting 482 00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:03,780 the air conditioner in room 16, through the 483 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:06,260 open door, I saw Professor Roday's wife leave 484 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:06,680 your room. 485 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:07,980 Now I know that she's French. 486 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:10,920 So, as it happens, Professor Roday has a 487 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,119 bad heart and can't make love. 488 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,839 Do you expect his wife to live like 489 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:15,240 a nun? 490 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,700 She came to my room of her own 491 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,920 free will, and her husband knows that she 492 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,140 came for besettings. 493 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,400 Too sophisticated for me, Professor. 494 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,160 All I know is that if you lay 495 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,740 a hand on my wife, I'll hit you 496 00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:28,280 on the jaw. 497 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:31,560 Oh, you Puritans do love hitting people, don't 498 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:31,780 you? 499 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:32,100 No. 500 00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:33,660 I try to avoid violence. 501 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,080 Cranley, why don't you trust your wife? 502 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:36,800 What? 503 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:38,120 What's that supposed to mean? 504 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,100 Well, you're apparently terrified of my meeting her 505 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:41,440 again. 506 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:42,340 Not terrified. 507 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,180 I just don't want her to have to 508 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:46,320 repulse insulting and unwanted advances. 509 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,820 Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I have 510 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:50,560 to phone through an order. 511 00:17:51,260 --> 00:17:51,740 Certainly. 512 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,160 Uh, what do you have to order? 513 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,520 A horse whip? 514 00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,260 Come in. 515 00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:02,280 The door is not locked. 516 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:04,420 Where shall I put it? 517 00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:05,920 On the table, please. 518 00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:08,760 Where's the sandwich? 519 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:09,940 What sandwich? 520 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,000 I ordered a smoked salmon sandwich. 521 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,100 I wasn't told. 522 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:13,820 I'll go and get you one. 523 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:14,480 No, no, no. 524 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,160 It's not important. 525 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:15,940 I'll tell you what. 526 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,000 In the wardrobe, on the shelf, there's a 527 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,160 packet of chocolate chip cookies. 528 00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:20,340 Get them down from you, please. 529 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:25,360 What happened? 530 00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:34,970 Oh, dear. 531 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:35,890 Oh, dear. 532 00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:36,550 Oh, dear. 533 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:39,850 You told me my statuette was unique. 534 00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:40,350 I know. 535 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:42,210 It was a lie. 536 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,630 You mean it was all nonsense, about the 537 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:45,730 Mayan features and... 538 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:45,970 No, no. 539 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:47,130 That was quite accurate. 540 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,030 It has certain Mayan attributes. 541 00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:52,270 I can swear to that because I designed 542 00:18:52,270 --> 00:18:52,950 it myself. 543 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,430 You said it was 900 years old. 544 00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:57,670 Slight exaggeration. 545 00:18:58,210 --> 00:19:00,750 It's actually nine years old, made for me 546 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,670 by an old Peruvian friend who lives in 547 00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:03,210 the Andes. 548 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,710 Very skilful carver. 549 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:09,730 These four are the last of an original 550 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,300 batch of 100. 551 00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:13,050 100? 552 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,150 What on earth do you want with 100? 553 00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:18,110 Well, since you and I seem destined to 554 00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:21,610 have only a platonic relationship, I might as 555 00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:22,390 well come clean. 556 00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,970 I give them to girls. 557 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,670 Yes, I'd got that far. 558 00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:28,370 Not to all girls, mind you. 559 00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:29,670 Only special ones. 560 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:33,590 Only the ones I might have married if 561 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:34,810 I were the marrying type. 562 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,930 Do you give them to the girls before 563 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,070 or after you've worked your wicked will on 564 00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:39,310 them? 565 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:40,850 Always after. 566 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:41,850 Of course after. 567 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:45,650 It's a keepsake, a parting gift, a memento, 568 00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:49,630 a pledge that perhaps I don't know where, 569 00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:53,490 I don't know when, we might meet and 570 00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:54,210 do it again. 571 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,410 That's very moving, but you gave me mine 572 00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:57,830 before. 573 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:58,650 I know. 574 00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:02,130 Sheer waste, especially when stocks are getting so 575 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:02,450 low. 576 00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:06,370 But I felt, you know, that it might... 577 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,170 Soften me up? 578 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,270 Put bluntly, yes. 579 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:10,130 You are a despicable rogue. 580 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:11,630 Suppose I am, really. 581 00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:13,590 But an ingenious one. 582 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:17,050 And statuettes may be fakes, but they are 583 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:17,530 attractive. 584 00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:19,170 A bit like me, perhaps? 585 00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:20,830 Not in the least like you. 586 00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:21,470 A little bit. 587 00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:24,670 Well, perhaps a tiny bit. 588 00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:29,330 Ellie, you are rubbishing when you laugh. 589 00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:30,530 No, don't start that. 590 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:32,430 I know you're just a con man. 591 00:20:32,950 --> 00:20:37,810 You can't possibly think I'd succumb knowing what 592 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:38,310 I do. 593 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,350 Apologise and tell her that I'm attending to 594 00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:47,050 it myself. 595 00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:48,070 Yes, thank you. 596 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,450 Jeff, number 19's just been on to me 597 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,510 about her rose hip tea. 598 00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,130 Says she's been waiting nearly half an hour. 599 00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:54,930 19. 600 00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:56,670 That would be Ellie's number. 601 00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:58,610 She seems to have got stuck somewhere. 602 00:20:58,770 --> 00:20:59,090 Stuck? 603 00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:01,010 Yeah, she took some teeth in number 15. 604 00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:01,550 15? 605 00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:04,410 I know just who it would be. 606 00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:05,330 Leave it with me, Jeff. 607 00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:06,850 Yeah, but if I could get hold of 608 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,130 another girl... 609 00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:14,270 Yes? 610 00:21:16,670 --> 00:21:18,770 Professor, it's Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of 611 00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:19,030 the hotel. 612 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:20,330 I'd like a word with you, please, sir. 613 00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:22,070 Oh, not him. 614 00:21:22,190 --> 00:21:23,190 Not him. 615 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,190 Not him. 616 00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:25,390 What is it about? 617 00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:27,430 I have reason to believe that you have 618 00:21:27,430 --> 00:21:28,850 Ellie Somerton with you, sir. 619 00:21:29,110 --> 00:21:29,430 Really? 620 00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:32,150 What reason? 621 00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:33,790 Don't play games with me, professor. 622 00:21:33,950 --> 00:21:34,610 No, it doesn't matter. 623 00:21:35,570 --> 00:21:36,930 You're right, Mr Cranley. 624 00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:38,710 I am here. 625 00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:41,090 This is very sad, Miss Somerton, especially after 626 00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:41,610 my warning. 627 00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:43,030 If you felt you were in any danger, 628 00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:44,210 all you had to do was come to 629 00:21:44,210 --> 00:21:44,310 me. 630 00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:45,570 Don't be silly, Mr Cranley. 631 00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:46,650 I'm not in any danger. 632 00:21:46,970 --> 00:21:48,150 And as for you, professor, I shall have 633 00:21:48,150 --> 00:21:49,470 to report you to your superiors. 634 00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:52,330 I have no superiors, and I'm breaking no 635 00:21:52,330 --> 00:21:52,710 laws. 636 00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:54,170 So if that's all you have to say, 637 00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:55,090 kindly leave us alone. 638 00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:56,690 You may not be breaking any law, professor, 639 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,150 but you're sure as hell busting our house 640 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:58,870 rules wider. 641 00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:00,550 So I'd like you to check out by 642 00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:01,090 noon tomorrow. 643 00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:02,850 But that's not fair, Professor Collard. 644 00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:03,670 That's enough out of you. 645 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:04,290 You're fired. 646 00:22:04,470 --> 00:22:05,930 I'm entitled to a week's pay in lieu 647 00:22:05,930 --> 00:22:06,350 of notice. 648 00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:07,050 Oh, you'll get it. 649 00:22:07,270 --> 00:22:07,910 You'll get it. 650 00:22:08,270 --> 00:22:09,010 You think that's funny? 651 00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,030 You think that's funny? 652 00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:10,770 Then try this. 653 00:22:11,170 --> 00:22:12,470 You'll get out of my hotel by midnight. 654 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:17,890 What an extraordinary fellow. 655 00:22:18,590 --> 00:22:19,950 He is worse than the Russians. 656 00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:22,830 They at least send you a girl, even 657 00:22:22,830 --> 00:22:24,790 if they try to blackmail you afterwards. 658 00:22:24,890 --> 00:22:26,450 Oh, Cranley's so stuffy. 659 00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:26,950 Of course. 660 00:22:27,950 --> 00:22:30,510 Well, cheers. 661 00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:31,350 Cheers. 662 00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:35,670 Mmm. 663 00:22:37,030 --> 00:22:38,170 You've been fired. 664 00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:42,650 Well, you'll have to accept something now. 665 00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:44,330 Oh, no, honestly, I'm all right. 666 00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:45,550 But I promise you this. 667 00:22:46,110 --> 00:22:49,290 No matter how great my need, I'll never 668 00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:51,630 sell my unique mind study. 669 00:23:03,990 --> 00:23:08,730 First century A.D. Roman-Egyptian, but not 670 00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,710 a particularly distinguished example. 671 00:23:11,350 --> 00:23:11,930 Am I right? 672 00:23:12,610 --> 00:23:12,990 Yes. 673 00:23:14,070 --> 00:23:14,990 Thank you. 674 00:23:16,050 --> 00:23:16,770 Thank you. 675 00:23:17,570 --> 00:23:19,870 All right, Mr. Knowall, how about this little 676 00:23:19,870 --> 00:23:20,130 novel? 677 00:23:21,570 --> 00:23:22,990 Where did you get this? 678 00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:24,630 Is this from... 679 00:23:24,630 --> 00:23:25,910 Never mind where I got it. 680 00:23:25,910 --> 00:23:27,010 Do you know what it is? 681 00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:28,870 I know exactly what it is. 682 00:23:29,410 --> 00:23:30,410 It's a fake. 683 00:23:30,650 --> 00:23:31,530 Are you sure, Professor? 684 00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:33,530 I'm not only sure, I can prove it. 685 00:23:33,970 --> 00:23:34,610 Can you now? 686 00:23:35,150 --> 00:23:37,250 Well, that's very interesting to me, considering that 687 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,430 my wife dug it up for herself. 688 00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:41,430 What? 689 00:23:41,810 --> 00:23:43,950 Yes, when she was a student and went 690 00:23:43,950 --> 00:23:45,270 on some archaeological digs. 691 00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:47,350 That statue has been sitting on our ankh's 692 00:23:47,350 --> 00:23:48,630 table ever since we got married. 693 00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:50,170 Would you like to up the stakes a 694 00:23:50,170 --> 00:23:51,070 little bit on this one, Professor? 695 00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:52,270 Shall we say $500? 696 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,050 Did you say your wife dug this up? 697 00:23:56,410 --> 00:23:56,750 Yes. 698 00:23:57,530 --> 00:23:57,990 Come on, Lizzie. 699 00:23:58,450 --> 00:23:59,050 Don't be frightened. 700 00:23:59,610 --> 00:24:00,790 Tell this wise guy where you got this 701 00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:00,970 thing. 702 00:24:01,610 --> 00:24:02,330 Come on, darling. 703 00:24:02,590 --> 00:24:03,490 Tell him what this is. 704 00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:06,110 It's Central American. 705 00:24:06,290 --> 00:24:07,730 It shows Mayan influence. 706 00:24:07,890 --> 00:24:09,130 It's about 900 years old. 707 00:24:09,390 --> 00:24:09,770 There. 708 00:24:10,370 --> 00:24:11,930 You still think it's a fake, Professor? 709 00:24:12,570 --> 00:24:13,390 Let me see. 710 00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:19,650 Did you find it six years ago at 711 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:20,470 Yucatan? 712 00:24:21,810 --> 00:24:22,650 Yes. 713 00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:24,450 I remember. 714 00:24:25,490 --> 00:24:28,990 That is, I remember reading about that excavation. 715 00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:32,130 Well, let me see. 716 00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:35,310 Oh, I was wrong. 717 00:24:36,430 --> 00:24:37,510 It's genuine. 718 00:24:38,630 --> 00:24:41,750 Well, win a lot, lose a few. 719 00:24:42,290 --> 00:24:43,990 Here's your $100, Grandma. 720 00:24:47,610 --> 00:24:48,850 Thank you, Professor. 721 00:24:49,370 --> 00:24:50,690 No man is infallible. 722 00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:52,310 Thank you, darling. 723 00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:53,110 Now, come along. 724 00:24:53,110 --> 00:24:53,830 We've made our point. 725 00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:09,920 Well, this is a well-preserved item. 726 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,560 A belt buckle, I believe. 727 00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:13,640 Second century Roman. 46720

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