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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:41,110 I once knew a man called Cedric McWinnie 2 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:44,630 who was enormously greedy and was forever poking 3 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,530 about all over the house looking for stuff 4 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:46,990 to eat. 5 00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:50,330 One day, and I'm not making this up, 6 00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:52,330 he opened a cupboard in the dining room 7 00:00:52,330 --> 00:00:54,090 and found a paper bag full of round 8 00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:54,930 white things. 9 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,830 Cedric had a passion for peppermints so he 10 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,810 grabbed a handful and bunged them into his 11 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,209 mouth and started crunching them up. 12 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:08,090 Well, they happened to be mothballs and the 13 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:10,330 camper burned his tongue so badly he couldn't 14 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:11,110 eat for a week. 15 00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:14,210 The storey you're going to see in a 16 00:01:14,210 --> 00:01:16,750 few moments by one of the really great 17 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:19,470 short storey writers of our time, John Collier, 18 00:01:20,190 --> 00:01:22,050 is about a couple of people who are 19 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:25,030 also rather greedy but in a different way. 20 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:48,300 On a nondescript street 21 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:51,480 in a town where nothing much ever happens, 22 00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:54,500 the wheel of fortune is about to take 23 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,120 a rather unlikely spin. 24 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,500 Madame Myra. 25 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,360 Oh, there's got to be some mistake. 26 00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:09,620 Let me get my checkbook. 27 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,580 All right, let me get that checkbook. 28 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,220 Okay, I got my book. 29 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,840 Now, let me see, I mailed that on, 30 00:02:20,580 --> 00:02:22,140 I mailed that on Tuesday. 31 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,740 Yeah, you should have it now. 32 00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:28,280 Yeah, Buster, I read the future, but I 33 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:29,540 don't know what the post office is going 34 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:29,760 to do. 35 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:30,960 Like I told you, I put it in 36 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,380 the mail. 37 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:35,660 Just one moment. 38 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,720 Coming. 39 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,760 Be patient. 40 00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:50,680 Future will wait. 41 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,400 Just one moment. 42 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,460 Coming. 43 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:04,990 You tell fortunes? 44 00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:07,370 Yes, I do see into the future. 45 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,210 Lady downstairs wouldn't take me. 46 00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:14,410 I can't imagine why not. 47 00:03:14,930 --> 00:03:15,490 Come on in. 48 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,550 And close the door behind you. 49 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:25,330 I'm new in town. 50 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:27,490 And you want me to tell you all 51 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,250 the terrific, wonderful things that are going to 52 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,010 happen to you, right? 53 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,890 I went to that lady downstairs, her sign 54 00:03:32,890 --> 00:03:34,250 said all ages. 55 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:38,270 So I figured that I could learn how 56 00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:39,350 to dance like Fred Astaire. 57 00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:42,230 Because if I could, if I learn how 58 00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:45,210 to dance like Fred Astaire, then I could 59 00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:48,030 meet some babes. 60 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,410 And you want me to tell you if 61 00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:55,010 you can learn how to dance like Fred 62 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:55,370 Astaire? 63 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,770 She already told me. 64 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:03,050 But she said you could, you could tell 65 00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:05,330 me if there is any babes in my 66 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:05,670 future. 67 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:08,630 Yeah. 68 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:13,770 Yeah, I think I could divine that for 69 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:13,990 you. 70 00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:17,370 Come on over here. 71 00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:18,970 You sit down in this chair right over 72 00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:19,310 here. 73 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:19,790 Come on. 74 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,760 Gonna have to bring up a very coarse 75 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:25,600 subject here. 76 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:28,880 What's that? 77 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:31,380 Money. 78 00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:35,500 Now it's five bucks for a quick glimpse 79 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,620 into the future, and it's ten bucks for 80 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,700 a long gaze forward. 81 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,200 What's the difference? 82 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,480 You want to know what's gonna happen next 83 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,280 week or next year? 84 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,360 So five dollars I get one week, and 85 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,240 ten dollars I get a whole year. 86 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,520 Well, I'm no dummy, I'll take a whole 87 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:55,760 year. 88 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,240 You'd be surprised, you're a lot more farsighted 89 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,000 than a lot of people. 90 00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:01,880 No kidding. 91 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,600 Well, I got a small problem. 92 00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:08,140 Yeah? 93 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,120 I don't have ten bucks. 94 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:16,180 Five. 95 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,520 I spent my last dime on the bus. 96 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,460 I knew in town, remember? 97 00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:23,800 Out. 98 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:24,540 Wait a minute. 99 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,300 You got anything busted? 100 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,120 Busted? 101 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,600 That's right, busted. 102 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,240 Everybody's got something that's busted. 103 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,200 You know, and that's what I do. 104 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,440 I fix broken things. 105 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:39,880 Broken hearts? 106 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,500 That's pretty funny. 107 00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:49,680 I mean, it's not ho-ho funny, but 108 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,420 he-he funny. 109 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:52,920 Busted. 110 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,600 I got this toaster over here. 111 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,100 It doesn't pop toast up anymore, and I 112 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,760 got that television set that went out on 113 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,180 me right in the middle of John Dean. 114 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,020 The Watergate guy? 115 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:03,340 Yeah. 116 00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:04,160 Well? 117 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,280 Toaster. 118 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,560 You fix my toaster, I'll tell your fortune. 119 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,420 Ten dollar fortune? 120 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,700 Okay, ten dollar fortune. 121 00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:19,460 Got a screwdriver? 122 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:31,340 All fixed. 123 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,580 See, that's what I do for a living. 124 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:35,860 I fix, uh, broken things. 125 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,240 I'm really impressed, Charlie. 126 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,220 Come here and sit down. 127 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,340 Let's see what the future holds. 128 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:46,480 Okay. 129 00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:51,620 Cut. 130 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,180 Are you a real gipsy? 131 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,000 You bet I am. 132 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:01,560 Okay. 133 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:02,760 Hm. 134 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:03,900 Hm. 135 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:06,440 Okay, we have one of... 136 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,620 pretty good. 137 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:12,450 Well, what do you see? 138 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:13,970 What do you see? 139 00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:16,610 You see a babe? 140 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,520 How about, uh, money? 141 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:28,940 I'll settle for money. 142 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:33,760 You have, uh, rich relative, oh, aunt, uncle, 143 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,500 anything like that? 144 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,320 Only relative I got is my uncle, Jake. 145 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,840 He's always telling me what he's gonna buy 146 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,320 me when his ship comes in. 147 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,820 I'm still waiting for it to dock. 148 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,400 Ah. 149 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,710 See these double eights here, Charlie? 150 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:58,070 They show that you're coming to a fork 151 00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:58,750 in your life. 152 00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:01,270 Now, if you take one path, it's going 153 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,830 to lead you to wealth, incredible wealth. 154 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,310 And if you take the other path, it's 155 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,050 gonna lead you to nothing. 156 00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:12,200 How do I know which one to take? 157 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:17,080 Well, you see, you see this red king 158 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:17,580 right here? 159 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,540 That's the king of wealth. 160 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,780 Now, this red knave is his messenger. 161 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,320 You are gonna have a message soon, really 162 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,000 soon, about great wealth. 163 00:08:31,070 --> 00:08:31,730 Wait a minute. 164 00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:33,450 Let me try it again. 165 00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:34,730 All right, let me try it again. 166 00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:35,309 Try it again. 167 00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,010 Yeah, okay. 168 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:37,010 All right. 169 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:38,870 Okay. 170 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,020 Hey, wait. 171 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,080 These are exactly the way they were before. 172 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,940 Hey, don't, don't touch anything. 173 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:04,940 Ah. 174 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:10,240 It's too bad, Charlie. 175 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,760 I mean, you, you could have been a 176 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,660 very rich man. 177 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,060 What do you mean? 178 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,000 Well, you remember, remember the double eights right 179 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:22,260 here? 180 00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,760 The two paths, one leading to wealth and 181 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:25,680 the other to nothing? 182 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,140 So just, just point me in the right 183 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:28,500 direction. 184 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,820 Well, you'd have to get married. 185 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:35,940 Married? 186 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:40,460 I don't know any babes. 187 00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,840 Oh, this couldn't be just any babe. 188 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,620 Uh, this would have to be a woman 189 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:48,240 who had certain qualifications, certain specific things. 190 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:49,820 Such as? 191 00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:54,500 Oh, this woman would have to have dark 192 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:54,920 hair. 193 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,280 Says it right here on the cards. 194 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:57,380 The cards demand it. 195 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,940 Dark eyes. 196 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:00,920 She'd have to be divorced. 197 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,620 She would use her hands to make a 198 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:07,480 living and the red queen demands that she 199 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,480 be an air sign. 200 00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,380 That's a Gemini. 201 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:11,740 Says it right there. 202 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:14,900 So are you. 203 00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:16,560 Wow. 204 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,000 Ah, Gemini. 205 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:23,600 Have you ever been married? 206 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:25,500 Divorced. 207 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,580 But that's not all. 208 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:35,520 The cards demand that the woman you marry 209 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,040 have a mark of fortune. 210 00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:42,920 The mark of fortune? 211 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:48,360 This woman has to have three moles on 212 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,480 her left shoulder. 213 00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:01,250 I'm in love. 214 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,400 You want me to do what? 215 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:07,380 Be my matron of honour. 216 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,200 You mean to tell me that you're going 217 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,220 to marry that, that, that rhinoceros? 218 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:14,400 Saturday. 219 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:15,880 It was a joke. 220 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,440 Myra, I sent him upstairs to you. 221 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,380 It was a bad joke. 222 00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,640 Grace, you know how sometimes the cards work? 223 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,520 I mean, really work. 224 00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,340 Honey, you can't marry him. 225 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,960 He's a, he's a minus zero. 226 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:27,820 A zilch. 227 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,180 They say that he's going to inherit a 228 00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:32,960 lot of money from a close relative. 229 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,800 I mean, a lot of money, Grace. 230 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,700 A lot. 231 00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:38,580 Honey, I don't care if he's going to 232 00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:40,160 inherit a million dollars. 233 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,780 You're going to have to live with him. 234 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,640 You're going to have to let him, you 235 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,320 know what, you're going to have to let 236 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:46,680 him do. 237 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,780 Grace, that's not all. 238 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,980 I laid these cards twice for him and 239 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,020 each time they came up exactly the same. 240 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:55,940 I mean exactly. 241 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:57,160 Kidding. 242 00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:01,440 The cards insist he's going to inherit all 243 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,540 this money from a close relative and then, 244 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,980 yeah, then what, what? 245 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:12,100 And then he's going to what, what? 246 00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:13,980 Die. 247 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,300 Look at the instant replay on that one. 248 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,220 Starback comes back, hands off to the tailback, 249 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,540 and he gets racked up after a gain 250 00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:24,580 of about a yard, but it should be 251 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:25,420 enough for a first down. 252 00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:26,040 It is. 253 00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:27,260 Now back to live action. 254 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,200 Starback, back to back. 255 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,240 He's sacked by the flipping linebacker. 256 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,560 Dr. Fong, please. 257 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:33,940 All right. 258 00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:34,920 He's okay. 259 00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:36,040 He's getting up slow, but he's going to 260 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:36,480 be okay. 261 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,440 Madam Myra. 262 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,720 Yes, Mrs. Norwood. 263 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,020 Yes, I can see you right away. 264 00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,500 All right, I'll expect you in five minutes. 265 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,480 Hey, slob, out. 266 00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:51,420 I got a client. 267 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,920 Game just started. 268 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,400 The game has always just started. 269 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:00,280 First it's basketball, then it's baseball, now it's 270 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:00,620 football. 271 00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:01,640 What comes after football? 272 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,680 Starts all over again. 273 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,480 Oh, the big fixer. 274 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,000 The man who can fix anything. 275 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,780 You better get that short fixer or you're 276 00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:17,600 going to get electrocuted. 277 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,060 The TV works okay. 278 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,240 It works better than those cards of yours. 279 00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,560 You know what you're doing, fakeo? 280 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,540 You're selling lies. 281 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,680 Keeps you in beer. 282 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,140 It sure does. 283 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,640 Where's my money, huh? 284 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,660 Where's that million dollars I was supposed to 285 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:33,860 get? 286 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:34,840 Huh? 287 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,460 For marrying the girl with the dark eyes 288 00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:39,320 and the mark of fortune? 289 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,340 I never said it was going to be 290 00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:42,160 a million bucks. 291 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,660 For six months I've been waiting around here 292 00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,860 for a phone, a ring, and a letter 293 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,340 to come, and it hasn't. 294 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,460 And now I know why. 295 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,260 Because it was a lie. 296 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,940 You lied to me just like you lied 297 00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:56,740 to every other poor slob that walks up 298 00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:57,280 in this place. 299 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,760 Okay, maybe I do lie to them, but 300 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,060 you know what makes them happy? 301 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,000 And I did not lie to you. 302 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:03,980 I never did. 303 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,260 I have a gift, and my cards still 304 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,160 say you are going to get that money. 305 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,800 Your cards are pieces of paper. 306 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,740 I was going to meet a babe. 307 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,720 A babe with a cute smile and go 308 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,840 to-hell eyes, and look what I got 309 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:17,400 stuck with. 310 00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:19,480 Look what I got stuck with. 311 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,180 Look at yourself. 312 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:25,930 Out, Charlie. 313 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:30,770 You know what I got in my pocket? 314 00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,090 Thirty-eight cents. 315 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,130 And where am I going to go on 316 00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:36,870 thirty-eight cents? 317 00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,550 I don't know, and I don't care. 318 00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:39,810 I mean, out anywhere. 319 00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:42,070 Why don't you go downstairs and see Grace? 320 00:14:42,070 --> 00:14:43,290 She's got go-to-hell eyes. 321 00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:46,890 Oh, maybe there's something she needs fixed. 322 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:04,730 You are Myra Lacey Downer? 323 00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:06,050 No, she's upstairs. 324 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:07,550 What do you want to see her about? 325 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:11,230 You are? 326 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,330 I'm her husband. 327 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,130 Charles Richardson. 328 00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:17,250 Yeah, that's right. 329 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,890 My name is Merrifield. 330 00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:21,210 I'm an attorney, but my business is with 331 00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,230 your wife, Mrs. Downer. 332 00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:25,550 She's got an inheritance, a rather sizeable inheritance, 333 00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:26,070 I might add. 334 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:27,750 Now, you don't mean her. 335 00:15:28,630 --> 00:15:29,330 You mean me. 336 00:15:30,270 --> 00:15:31,850 I mean nothing of the sort. 337 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,790 The person I need to see is Myra 338 00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,630 Lacey Downer. 339 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,830 Now then, a few routine precautionary measures. 340 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:42,670 You are a mother's maiden name? 341 00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:44,970 Geraldine Dorothy Johnson. 342 00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:46,010 Right. 343 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:47,450 Some gipsy? 344 00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:50,230 And do you have a copy of your 345 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:50,610 birth certificate? 346 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:51,650 Yes. 347 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,210 Yes, I do. 348 00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:00,650 Here it is. 349 00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:03,530 Right. 350 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,880 Well, everything seems to be in order. 351 00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,640 You are who you say you are. 352 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,780 Now then, what a great aunt on your 353 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,540 mother's side. 354 00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:20,260 You mean old Aunt Faith? 355 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,620 Faith Merritt Parkhouse. 356 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,660 She was a maiden lady, she taught school 357 00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:28,360 for 48 years, and she invested wisely. 358 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,640 Very wisely, I should add. 359 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,820 She passed on three months ago in a 360 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,160 nursing home at the age of 92. 361 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,000 I used to write her Christmas cards, but 362 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,220 I stopped a long time ago. 363 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,300 I never thought... 364 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:42,740 How much? 365 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,560 I beg your pardon? 366 00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:47,520 How much did the old lady leave? 367 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,260 That's really a matter for Mrs. Downer. 368 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,400 I'm her husband, Jack. 369 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:52,900 How much? 370 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,800 Well, that would all depend. 371 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,460 Most of her assets were in blue chip 372 00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:01,880 stocks. 373 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,440 She bought IBM in 1932. 374 00:17:05,579 --> 00:17:09,660 Uh, but if everything were liquidated, the estate 375 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,880 would bring in, after taxes and legal fees 376 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,579 of course, about $350,000. 377 00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:23,710 $350,000. 378 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,110 Here's my card. 379 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,690 I'm the corresponding attorney for your late aunt's 380 00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:33,610 attorneys on the coast. 381 00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:35,210 If you'd like to come to my office 382 00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:38,450 tomorrow about 10 o'clock, we can start 383 00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:38,990 all the paperwork. 384 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:39,930 I'll be there. 385 00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,010 $350,000. 386 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:43,610 Whoa. 387 00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:45,990 Do you have a will, Mrs. Downer? 388 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:46,810 A will? 389 00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:48,750 No, I haven't got a will. 390 00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:50,550 Hey, what would I need a will for? 391 00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:52,790 Well, you're a rich woman now. 392 00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:54,770 If anything were to happen to you, everything 393 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,070 would of course go to your husband, but 394 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:58,910 you might like to think about that. 395 00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,070 Yeah, I'll do that. 396 00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:05,790 I'll think about it. 397 00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:10,600 I'll let myself out. 398 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,100 Why aren't you watching your game, Charlie? 399 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:28,380 Uh, I was thinking of going down and 400 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,300 digging your fish pond. 401 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,300 Ha, it's a little late for that, Charlie. 402 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:34,740 Oh, what do you mean? 403 00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:39,420 I'm leaving you, Charlie, but I am leaving 404 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:40,560 you all this. 405 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:44,420 You're not leaving me. 406 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:45,580 Think again. 407 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,980 I get half. 408 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,060 Half the money's mine. 409 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,040 You'll have to find me. 410 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,040 Don't worry about it, Charlie. 411 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:08,900 The cards still say that you're going to 412 00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:10,480 be very, very rich. 413 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:11,860 They do, huh? 414 00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:19,870 Maybe the cards will turn out to be 415 00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:21,050 right after all. 416 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,460 I'm going to go down and work on 417 00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:32,120 your fish pond. 418 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,080 It's raining. 419 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:35,640 Oh, that's all right. 420 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,060 Fish don't mind. 421 00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:16,570 I told him I was leaving him. 422 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:18,770 Now that is good news. 423 00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:20,010 That is very good news. 424 00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:21,150 Did he make a fuss? 425 00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:23,610 He went out to dig the fish pond. 426 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:26,110 In the rain? 427 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:26,970 Mm-hmm. 428 00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:31,010 You know, while we were talking or arguing, 429 00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:32,090 I don't know, whatever it is we were 430 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:34,610 doing, I dealt the cards for him again, 431 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,510 and they still say that he is going 432 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,450 to be rich. 433 00:20:40,430 --> 00:20:40,890 And? 434 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,250 And then he's going to die. 435 00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:48,590 The lord and master. 436 00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:51,690 He still expects you to cook? 437 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,790 Who knows what Charlie expects. 438 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,140 Oh, Charlie, what are you, the abominable mud 439 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:05,540 man? 440 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,040 It's cards, baby. 441 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,160 Would you go drip in the bathroom, please, 442 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:12,440 huh? 443 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,180 All right, what about the cards? 444 00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:21,730 They're right after all. 445 00:21:22,850 --> 00:21:23,350 Look. 446 00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:28,230 Yeah, you found a dollar bill in the 447 00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:28,830 mud, Charlie. 448 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,110 That's wonderful. 449 00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:30,990 It's not a dollar. 450 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,020 It's a fifty. 451 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:37,520 Yeah. 452 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,820 Hey, you're right, Charlie. 453 00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:41,100 You're rich. 454 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:42,280 Cheers. 455 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:43,540 Mud in your eye. 456 00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:47,380 Myra, I wasn't alone. 457 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,440 It wasn't all by itself. 458 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,040 What do you mean? 459 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,080 I got out to dig the pond, right? 460 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:54,620 Yeah. 461 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,800 All of a sudden, I hit something with 462 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:56,220 my shovel. 463 00:21:57,580 --> 00:21:58,880 I thought it was a rock. 464 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,160 But when I hit it again, it sounded 465 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,700 more like tin. 466 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,080 So I got down on my knees in 467 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,760 the mud, and I started to dig it 468 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:10,940 out. 469 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,640 Dig what out? 470 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:17,460 Yeah, see, there's a tin box. 471 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,820 Or maybe it was steel. 472 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:20,280 I don't know. 473 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,840 But it had a lock on it. 474 00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:25,300 And so I hit the lock with a 475 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,100 shovel, and it wouldn't open. 476 00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:29,720 So then I hit it again, and I 477 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,260 hit it again, and I hit it again. 478 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,560 And finally it opened. 479 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,520 And it opened, and inside was a whole 480 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,320 bunch of fifty dollar bills. 481 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,020 Hundreds of fifty dollar bills. 482 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,140 The cards were right. 483 00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:47,200 The cards were right. 484 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:47,640 I'm rich. 485 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,640 So are you. 486 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:51,680 I knew it. 487 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,200 Hey, where's the box? 488 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:55,500 Where is it? 489 00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:55,720 Outside. 490 00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:56,860 Outside? 491 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,600 Well, go bring it in, Charlie. 492 00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:01,900 No, see, we're going to go out and 493 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:02,600 bury it again. 494 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,460 We'll keep it for our nest egg. 495 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:08,560 I mean, if we bring it inside, then 496 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,160 we just got to pay taxes on it. 497 00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:11,980 Oh, yeah, that's right. 498 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,080 Are you sure you want to bury it 499 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:15,340 again? 500 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:17,800 Yeah. 501 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,820 Yeah, and I want you to know exactly 502 00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:22,940 where I bury it. 503 00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,380 In case anything ever happens to me. 504 00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:33,990 Oh, gee, Charlie. 505 00:23:37,470 --> 00:23:39,750 That is really decent of you. 506 00:23:44,030 --> 00:23:46,750 I'll tell you, I never dreamed when I 507 00:23:46,750 --> 00:23:48,210 started digging this pond for you it was 508 00:23:48,210 --> 00:23:49,410 going to lead me to all this money. 509 00:23:49,570 --> 00:23:49,990 Where is it? 510 00:23:49,990 --> 00:23:51,130 The egg is right there. 511 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:51,810 I don't see it. 512 00:23:51,810 --> 00:23:53,030 Well, you got to bend down a little 513 00:23:53,030 --> 00:23:53,690 bit and look. 514 00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:54,250 Where? 515 00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,030 Right there. 516 00:23:59,310 --> 00:24:00,250 You know what? 517 00:24:00,590 --> 00:24:02,150 I stayed a little bit here, and I 518 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,710 stayed a little bit there, and that's the 519 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:04,290 fifty bucks. 520 00:24:04,950 --> 00:24:06,090 And you know what else? 521 00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:07,390 Your cards were right. 522 00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:08,730 You know what? 523 00:24:08,730 --> 00:24:10,790 I'm going to get all my money from 524 00:24:10,790 --> 00:24:11,790 my rich relative. 525 00:24:12,630 --> 00:24:13,330 Guess who? 526 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:49,020 I found a million dollar baby at the 527 00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,980 fine and ten cent store. 528 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,680 He breaks it over the left side. 529 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,020 It's a good luck. 530 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,240 He's over the 40. 33953

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