Original subtitles

Bill, Bill, Bill, from your mother.

What a Bill.

Why don't you open the post in the

evening, darling, after we've had a drink or

two.

Louise, can't we make a contribution for distressed

gentlefolk.

They must be joking, that's what we are.

Oh, here's one from my publisher.

Well, don't open it.

Why not?

Perhaps the novel's taken off after all.

Well?

Publisher's figures for the last six months.

I still haven't earned my advance.

Never mind, darling.

I just don't understand it.

Reviews are good here and in America, yet

we're just about broke.

Well, it's probably way over people's heads.

Oh, I'd aimed it somewhat lower.

Then it's before its time.

First novels often are.

I should never have left the Foreign Office.

Security, bowler hat, umbrella.

A portrait of the unsuccessful author as a

young man.

Change your photographer.

Don't answer that, it's the bank.

Not at nine o'clock in the morning.

269.

Yes, he is.

Who is that, please?

Yes, would you hold on a minute?

It's for you, Susan Mandeville.

Susan Mandeville?

She's married to Mark Mandeville, the big film

producer.

Then you'd better speak to her.

Hey, maybe it's about the book.

Hello?

Mr. Medway?

Yes.

Hi, this is Susan Mandeville.

I don't suppose you know me from Adam.

As a matter of fact, I do know

who you are.

Oh, great.

Then we can take a giant step forward.

Really?

Well, that's very good news.

And I was wondering if you'd, well, if

you'd care to take me to lunch one

day.

Yes, of course, Mrs. Mandeville.

I would ask you, but I know how

gallant you Englishmen are.

You'd insist on paying.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

You see?

How does Monday look?

Oh, yes, Monday's fine.

Do you like Blundell's?

Blundell's?

Yes, of course.

1.15?

Blundell's, 1.15. Great.

I'll book the table, shall I?

They know me there.

Thank you.

See you then.

Sure.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

She likes the book.

Do you think her husband wants to make

a film of it?

Well, I've heard he never makes a film

without her approval.

Lunch at Blundell's, a bit expensive.

We'll manage.

Hey, it'll be worth it.

Just one moment, Mr. Medley.

It's marvellous, all this modern technology.

Yes, sir.

I'd say it's a great amount of trouble.

Ah, I don't have 40 pounds in my

account.

I'm afraid not, Mr. Medley.

OK, let's be bold.

Of this total, I shall draw 37 pounds.

How is Mrs. Medley?

Any minute now.

What are you hoping for, boy or girl?

I don't even mind, really.

I mean, there's not so much difference to

begin with, is there?

She won't be wanting to cash a cheque

this afternoon, will she?

Wouldn't think so.

Why?

Because after I've cashed this one, the balance

of your joint account will be exactly 63p.

A gentleman always keeps his account in credit.

I'm sure our manager would appreciate that, Mr.

Medley.

Ruth, what is this?

Please show.

Good morning, sir.

Hello.

I'm meeting Mrs. Manderville.

I believe she reserved a table.

Indeed she has, sir.

Would you care for a drink at the

bar first?

Or go straight to the table, perhaps?

To the table, I think.

I never drink at lunchtime.

That's very wise, sir.

May I take your coat?

Thank you.

Please, sir, follow me.

Would you like this one, sir?

Would you perhaps care for a mineral water

while you're waiting, sir?

Thank you.

Did I send a lemon?

Very refreshing.

Yes, indeed.

An apple minerale con limone e ghiaccio.

Have suite care to see the menu, sir.

Oh, yes, I will.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

Very much.

Grapefruit salad, £1.75 a pot.

Roast beef, £7.80. Thank you, sir.

And the carte de vente, sir?

A bit later, perhaps.

Very good, sir.

Oh, sir, the table 9 just asked me

for tea.

Do you have a minute?

How many times do I have to tell

you, I've got to...

Hello, how are you?

Signora Maldivi.

Hello, Renato, how are you?

Nice to see you again, I find.

Your guests have arrived.

Would you like to come through?

Let's go.

How are you?

Mr Medway?

Yes.

Hi, I'm Susan Mandeville.

It's so nice to meet you.

I'm very pleased to meet you.

Gosh, am I late?

No, no, I was early.

You English have the loveliest manners.

Ah, Rinaldo.

Thank you.

Buongiorno, Signora Mandeville.

Buongiorno.

Your usual, Signora?

Si, Carlo.

Champagne cocktail.

Now, I'm going to call you Tony, OK?

Please do.

And you must call me Susan.

Susan.

The menu, Signora Mandeville.

Thank you.

Ooh, what's on the trolley, Rinaldo?

Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.

Oh, no, no, it's too much.

I'll just look at the menu.

Thank you, Signora.

Thank you, sir.

I'm on a new diet.

Oh, good.

I mean, uh, good.

As a matter of fact, I'm on a

diet myself.

Oh, come on, you're kidding.

You're as skinny as a beanpole.

Want to keep it that way?

Better try the chef's salad.

It's very good here.

As you recommend it, that's what I'll have.

I hope you didn't think I'd gone crazy

telephoning you like that.

No, of course not.

I'm very glad that you like the book.

I do, very much indeed.

I'm flattered.

I've always heard that you're an excellent judge

of writing.

Ooh, thank you.

Particularly of novels that would make successful films.

Mm.

I did have quite a reputation for that.

Mind you, some of the novels I like

wouldn't make very successful films.

In which category would you place mine?

Yours?

Hmm.

Well, to be honest, I think...

You're ready to order, Signora Mandeville.

Now, you mustn't laugh, Ronaldo, but we're both

on very strict diets.

That is because it is Monday, madame.

Most of our guests are on a new

diet on Monday.

M.S. Soffit has just ordered a slice

of cold ham.

Too good.

But on Wednesday she will be back for

the special Wednesday trolley.

What's that?

You know, Signora Mandeville?

Steak and kidney pudding.

Oh, yum.

Mmm.

Have you decided?

Yes.

I'll have two tiny lamb cutlets with no

fat.

Very good, madame.

On the pink side?

Mmm, on the pink side.

And the side salad?

Yes, a little one.

And to start with, some smoked salmon, perhaps?

Ronaldo, you know I shouldn't.

Just a sliver.

Just a sliver.

Thank you, madame.

And you, sir?

Just the chef's salad.

Nothing to start with?

Nothing?

My diet, you see.

Of course.

Signora.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Can I say something funny?

Oh, no.

Of course not.

It's just that sitting here in a restaurant

with a clever young writer reminds me of

something that happened in Los Angeles years ago.

In Hollywood?

Mmm.

Have you been there?

No, no, no.

I've always wanted to go.

Aha, another film buff.

Yes.

Oh, those old movies.

I know, aren't they great?

They're so fast, they're funny, easy to follow.

Romantic.

Mmm.

Thank you, madame.

Did you watch The African Queen the other

night?

Yes, yes, marvellous.

Bogart and Bacall.

Bogart and Hepburn.

Oh, Lord, yes, that's right.

Don't you think that in my book...

Some wine with your meal, sir.

Susan?

I don't suppose I should with my new

diet.

Signora.

Maybe just a little.

A Sancerre 78, perhaps.

Well, not for me, but perhaps a half

bottle?

I'm sorry, sir, there are no half-bottles.

Very well, a bottle.

Sir.

Anyway, this young writer, thank you, had invited

me to lunch, and I'd ordered plank steak,

baked potato with sour cream and chives.

You see, I wasn't on a diet then.

French beans, cauliflower.

Oh, and I started with a dozen blue

point oysters and had a chocolate soufflé for

dessert.

What we used to call in Tudor times

a groaning board.

Mmm.

Then the waiter brought the cheque, and this

young man...

Don't tell me he didn't have enough money

to pay the bill with.

I mean, with which to pay the bill.

Exactly.

It was very embarrassing.

Oh, that looks great.

Some black pepper, madam.

Please.

Sorry.

Just a thimbleful?

Can we have another glass, Carlo?

Si, signora.

So what happened?

Well, when I'd assessed the situation, I made

the excuse of going to the little girls'

room.

I got hold of the manager, and he

solved a problem like that.

How?

He came up to the table, and he

said to this fellow with a perfectly straight

face that on Friday, lunch was on the

house for everyone whose last name began with

the letter L.

Well, it couldn't have been Frederick Forsyth.

Oh, good heavens, no.

He's never needed a free lunch, has he?

No, no, it was Donald Fairweather.

Oh.

F for Friday.

Today's Monday.

I'm Medway.

The point is that from that day on,

Donald Fairweather has never looked back.

He's had one bestseller after another.

Indeed.

Hmm.

I've seen this done on old British filters.

Now, you mustn't make me laugh.

Why not?

A woman never forgets a man who's made

her laugh.

Oh?

Well, that can't be bad.

Your health.

Sontag.

Let's talk about your book.

Yes, let's.

Is it really your first novel?

Yes.

It's amazing.

Your understanding of women is quite remarkable.

You're married, of course.

Yes.

Children?

Our first is very much on the way.

Oh, how nice.

Did she, uh...

Did she mind your having lunch with me

today?

Oh, good heavens, no.

I mean, she understands business lunches.

Tell me, did you find it visual?

I mean, when you read it, did it,

uh, what's the expression, jump off the page?

Parts of it did, yes.

Which parts in particular?

I thought the confrontations between Michael and his

mistress were excellent.

Those bitter stand-up battles.

My God, how one understands them.

Excuse me, Mrs. May.

Thank you.

The thing I really admire about your writing

is your command of...

Excuse me.

Your command of language.

It's very gripping.

Thank you.

And what about characterisation?

Do you think the part of Grace is

a good actor?

And the minister, for that matter.

Excuse me, madam.

What would you like in your salad?

Oh, could I have some red cabbage, some

cucumbers, and mushrooms, please?

The part of the minister might be.

Anything else, madam?

Uh, yes.

Artichoke hearts and tomatoes.

And Grace is certainly not on the side

of the angels.

Surely that's a plus.

Any dressing, madam?

Yes, French dressing, please.

Susan!

My God.

I guess you didn't hear me.

Show Mrs. Lipmeyer to number five, table by

the window.

Oh, Rinaldo, you remember it.

Madame.

Susan, honey.

Melanie, hi.

I heard you were back in the old

country.

Yes, I finally made it.

And how's Peter?

Oh, he's just fine.

We were so pleased to hear your news.

Thank you.

Well, hello there.

Tony, this is Melanie Lipmeyer.

Melanie, Anthony Medway.

How do you do?

Hi, honey.

Hello.

Hi.

Tony's a writer.

We were just discussing his new novel.

Why, Susan Mandeville, you're still collecting clever young

authors.

What a charming way of putting it, Melanie.

What's it called, honey?

The novel, Angels and Ministers of Grace.

Ministers of Grace?

What on earth does that mean?

Well, you see, the heroine's name is Grace,

and she's married to a minister.

You mean she's married to a clergyman.

No, no, the other sort, political.

You really ought to read it, Melanie.

I think you'd both enjoy it.

Now you sit down and get on with

your drink.

Now you tell me all about it.

Is it sexy?

Enough for you.

Well, not really sexy.

No, not in that sense of the word.

Well, in what sense of the word, then?

Well, I mean to say there's no gratuitous

sex or violence.

It's on a higher level, Melanie.

I'm not sure you'd understand it.

What, no contorted bodies?

No groans?

Doesn't anybody beat up?

What's her name, Grace?

There is a certain amount of that, yes.

How much?

What, the violence, the price, or the sex?

Why, the price, honey.

Eight pounds ninety-five.

Okay, I'll bite.

My Bruce is away this weekend.

Oh.

Oh, Sean, this is Susan Mandeville.

She and I are very old friends.

Hi, Susan.

I'm very pleased to meet you.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Mr. Medway.

I really do look forward to reading your

book.

Mind you, if Susan likes it, you will

be made.

Susan has such very good taste.

Bye, honey.

Bye.

Come on, Sean, I'm starved.

I do hope we meet again.

What a character.

Yes, is she in the film business?

Oh, good heavens, no.

No, she's married to a cattle ranch in

Texas.

Oh, my dear.

Bruce.

That's where all the money is nowadays.

Are you working on anything at the moment?

Your salad, madam.

Well, it's a sort of action novel, really.

Very little dialogue, full of action.

Something, you know, funny, fast, easy to follow.

I wouldn't have thought that was your style.

Excuse me, Mrs. Mandeville.

It still seems a very popular format.

And a chef's salad.

I know, but that should never be a

writer's main consideration, or should it?

The first rule in this business is to

do what you do best.

After all, there's only one Hitchcock.

Oh, true, but with a carefully constructed plot.

Oh, look, they've given me four cutlets.

They're very small.

My poor diet.

To get back to my book.

Would you like some red wine with your

lamb, signora?

Mmm, lovely.

A small carafe of house red, please.

All right?

Sure.

Tell me, what sort of a deal does

one get from selling a book to a

film company?

That depends.

On what?

On whether it's a bestseller or just a

good book.

If it's a bestseller, About 250,000.

As much as that.

And more.

Someone like Harold Robbins gets the earth before

he puts pen to paper.

And, um, for one like mine, say, what

could I expect to be offered?

Reviews are good.

I think with a good agent you might...

Hi!

Tell me, I know it's rude, but I

really must say hello.

Will you forgive me?

Of course.

I'll be right back.

Perfect.

Could you save me a little home surprise,

Rinaldo?

Oh, madame, I'm afraid...

Alas.

Never mind.

Better without.

But I will check for you.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

Sssssss.

Sssss.

Sssss.

In luck, signora.

The last one.

Oh, look at that.

Make a note.

I have now abandoned my new diet.

Coffee, madame?

Not for me.

This is plenty.

No, thank you.

Keeps me awake all afternoon.

Brandy, perhaps?

No, thank you.

Cigar?

Just the bill, please.

Mmm.

It's delicious.

Bill for table 15.

Yes, sir.

So gooey.

Want some?

Oh, no, thank you.

Will you stay?

It's your table four.

Sorry, sir.

Wasn't that Stephanie Lang when you spoke to

her?

Do you know her?

No, no, no, no.

That super biographer she wrote of Neil Gwynn.

Thank you, sir.

I think they made a film of it.

They did.

A very successful one.

I believe a Mark Mandeville production.

That's right.

It's delicious.

I've decided to put myself out of suspense.

Mmm.

Sounds serious.

In your honest opinion, do you think Mr.

Mandeville would be interested in filming my book?

Frankly, I don't know, Tony.

Why don't you ask him?

Mr. Medway?

Yes?

Tell it for me.

For me?

Yes, sir.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Tony, it's me.

Something wrong?

Listen, I hope I'm not too late.

I'm going to the hospital.

Your what?

No, not really.

But if you told her that, then you'd

have to leave without paying the bill.

Ah, um...

Why are you mumbling like that?

Louise, darling, you remember our honeymoon?

Yes, of course I do.

Remember our lovely little restaurant?

Yes, where they brought the phone at the...

table?

Exactly.

Oh, so she's sitting right next to you.

Yes.

And you've already paid the bill?

Yes, darling.

Oh.

Sorry, darling.

Oh, well.

Love to all.

Bye.

That was my wife.

Something wrong?

No, no, no.

She forgot to tell me we're going to

some literary do tonight.

Well, I, um...

Tony, there's something I've got to ask you,

and, uh, I don't know quite how to

begin.

What is it?

Did you base your character of Michael on

my ex-husband?

I beg your pardon?

On Mark.

Oh, come on.

You must have.

On Mark Mandelbrot?

Yes.

Your ex-husband?

Hadn't you heard?

Oh, Mark and I have been divorced for

over two years.

No, I...

I thought somebody ought to warn you.

What do you mean, warn me?

Mark hates that kind of caricature, and I

think he might sue you.

Sue me?

Susan?

There you are.

Where have you been?

Monday.

Haircut.

I forgot.

I want you to meet Tony Medway.

Tony, this is Peter, my fiancé.

Hello, Tony.

Susan's been raving about your book.

Oh, great.

She has the darndest nose for talent.

If she thinks you're good, you've got nothing

to worry about.

You're not by any chance a film producer?

Not me.

I'm in the restaurant business.

I'm sorry.

I should have told you.

This is Peter Blundell.

He owns this place.

That's why she comes here.

She likes to keep it in the family.

Did you enjoy your lunch?

Oh, yes.

Yes, very much.

Now I'm about to become the wife of

a boring old restaurateur.

So you've left the film business for good?

I'm afraid so.

I don't mind one bit.

Congratulations.

Goodbye, Tony.

Goodbye.

And good luck with the book.

Thank you.

Tony, it's been just wonderful meeting you.

And remember, if you go on writing from

your heart, you'll be a happy man.

Thank you.

Bye.

Oh, thank you for the lunch.

Don't mention it.

Bye.