Original subtitles

You see, George has had to go to

his mother's, so if you hadn't offered, there'd

be nobody to fetch Piggy from the airport.

Do you mind, Frank?

No, not at all.

Heathrow, here I come.

Bye-bye, darling.

Bye, darling.

Don't rush.

Can I do anything to help, Julie?

Shall I do the salad?

Oh, thanks, Laura.

Oh, use marjoram.

Marjoram?

Julie!

There's no lettuce.

It's a Greek salad.

It's a Greek salad?

Shall I do it?

No, you get the lamb in.

I may not have your finesse, but I

do get there, eventually.

There.

She left Edinburgh on time.

Can you use some Greek cheese?

Cheese?

For Piggy?

My little sister's down to thirteen stone now.

Those tablets are a great help.

Anyway, I crumble the trees into the dressing,

if you don't mind.

You can have it or not.

How did Frank's interview go?

Well.

He's playing a dark, saying he won't get

it, you know, Frank.

But I think he stands a very good

chance.

Exciting.

When does George get back from his office?

George!

George, you hateful idiot!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Your husband may be going to be Marketing

Manager Dairy Products, while I, Talents Unrecognised, remain

a Humble Brand Manager, but my horror crisps

will sweep the children's market, terrorising all opposition.

Is that it for today, George?

Can I relax?

You can relax, Laura.

I can relax?

What are you planning?

Nothing.

The emphasis was all in your suspicious mind.

You promised not to do anything to Peggy.

I wouldn't do anything nasty to Peggy.

Peggy.

Get us a drink, funny man.

Your pleasure, Mrs Parker.

Campari and soda.

Just Campari and soda, George, please.

Oh, I never tamper with anything as serious

as drink, love.

Last of the summer ouzo, darling.

Cigarette, darling?

I don't want one, neither do you.

Just two puffs.

Do my cough good.

Put it out when it's halfway.

Naughty.

But nice.

Yours, I think.

Thanks.

Is there anything else?

No, thanks.

You sit down and relax.

We invite you, Leonie.

You do all the work.

Not there.

Why not?

That's Peggy.

Peggy's chair.

The seating's all arranged.

Oh, it's all right.

I can get up when she comes.

No!

Lunch at the Fun House.

What's next on the menu?

Now, look what you've done.

Look what I've done?

You've no idea how long I spent trying

to get the dowels just right.

It was exactly designed for her weight so

that she would go...

I'll never fix it in time.

Good.

Oh, Laura, don't be nasty.

Me?

You asked him not to play one of

his asinine jokes on Peggy.

You know how sensitive she is about her

weight.

I know, I know, but that's nothing.

Nothing?

I give up, Julia.

I really do.

Where's your sense of humour?

My sense of humour is perfectly all right.

I just don't find this funny.

I find it cruel and childish.

One of these days, one of your jokes

is going to go wrong, George.

Put the chair in the salad, Georgie.

Get another one from the other room.

PHONE RINGS Hello,

6205.

Hello, darling, it's me.

Are you ready to give the dinner party

of the year?

When?

Oh, Frank, don't tell me tonight.

You guessed.

No, it's...

It's Jack Stein, vice president of Europe, and

his wife.

They're staying on an extra day, and I

wondered if...

What time?

Eight for 8.30. Fine.

OK.

Wonderful.

I know.

Bye-bye, Muska, darling.

Chinese Laudley?

Is Julie there?

Zara, I told you never to phone me

at all.

Please, George, this is urgent.

Laura.

Jack Stein.

Thank God.

Tonight?

Mm, I got the lamb's water.

It's fresh.

Look, do you know when we did them

before?

If you can find...

Bye, darling.

Have a nice day.

If you can...

If you can find some really nice avocados...

New York, New York, here I come.

Hey, Mum, here's my football book.

Oh, where you left it?

Under the bed.

Go on.

Hello, 6205.

Mrs Parker?

Yes.

Mr Stein's London secretary?

I'm terribly sorry, but he's been called to

an emergency meeting in Brussels.

Your husband's taking him to Heathrow.

I am sorry it's such short notice.

Oh, well, I'm sure it can't be helped.

Thank you for phoning.

Bye.

Oh, dear.

Go to sleep.

Read.

Do what you like.

It's my time now.

Eight, nine,

ten.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, God.

You should have got a new one.

Darling.

I'm in here.

Darling.

Oh.

This is Jack and Barbara Stein.

Who are

you phoning?

Who do you think?

George.

Oh, Lord, don't.

That was no joke.

That was malicious.

Stein's understood.

Yes, they thought I was an idiot being

taken in like that.

Oh, come on, the takeaway wasn't bad.

It was...

Oh!

They didn't need any of it.

I was so upset, I didn't know what

I was saying half the time.

They must have thought I was the scatterbrain

loony.

Don't phone!

He's only trying to get his own back

for that stupid chair.

He's jealous of you.

He's trying to ruin your career.

Don't phone!

That's what he wants, Laura.

Don't you see?

He wants you to phone.

He wants to hear you crying and upset.

Why?

Why?

You know he'll only say, where's your sense

of humour?

Don't give him the satisfaction.

If we don't react, it hasn't worked.

Don't you see?

I...

I just...

Oh, Lord, I...

Oh, we had a great time with Jack

and Barbara.

It was a funny thing, Laura had a

fake phone call to say they weren't coming,

but she had the meat in the oven,

so she thought, what the hell?

Wasn't that fortunate?

Hello, 6205.

Oh, hello, Mrs Parker.

It's Carol.

Mr Parker asked me to tell you there'll

be two people from Brussels coming to dinner

tonight.

Oh.

News of my Chinese takeaways must be spreading

fast.

I beg your pardon?

Um...

Joke.

Is he there?

No, I'm sorry, Mrs Parker.

He's out of the office all day.

He did try and ring you.

I've been out all morning.

I'm sorry, Carol, I'm just a bit paranoid

at the moment or something.

At what time are they coming?

Oh, hello.

Wonderful smell.

This is nice.

Did someone tell you?

Of course someone told me.

Where are they?

They're the people from Brussels.

I had a phone call from Carol.

Right.

No.

All right, paranoid.

Don't worry, yes.

Yes, I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Someone left a note on her desk while

she was out at lunch.

I thought she'd spoken to you.

No.

What did you mean?

What?

You said, did someone tell me?

Tell me what?

I didn't get it.

The job.

I thought all this was to cheer me

up.

Oh, darling.

No, no, no, I'm a bit disappointed, that's

all.

I'll get you a drink.

Mm.

That was George.

That evening.

You know what the Americans are like.

Assess the home background, the wife.

Do they match up to the corporate image?

That was an interview.

I failed because of him.

You're exaggerating.

Am I?

It might have made a difference.

It might have made the difference.

No, you don't know that.

Neither do you.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

It's all right.

I'm not going to phone him.

Why don't you use it when I'm away?

Oh, no.

It's all right.

If yours is packed in, why go all

that way to the laundrette?

Well...

Look, here are the keys.

There's an ulterior motive.

Go on.

Keep an eye on George.

Just think that he's eating properly, that there's

something in the fridge and nothing in the

cigarette box.

That he's all right.

Julie, he's not a child.

Look, he just doesn't look after himself when

I'm not here, and I shall worry.

Please, please, Laura.

This may come as something of a shock

to you, Julie, but George and I don't

exactly get on.

Oh, he thinks the world of you.

Does he?

Oh, I know what you think about his

jokes, and sometimes he does go a bit

far, but you like him, don't you?

I mean, nobody could dislike George.

I think you really believe that.

Of course I believe it.

Julie, I love you dearly, but I'd really

rather go to the laundrette.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

The old teddy bear.

Beth and I used to quarrel over him

when we were kids.

I thought I'd take him to Edinburgh for

her new baby.

All right?

Thanks.

Where's your sense of humour?

What?

I'm George.

Oh, that's not George.

It's been wonky for ages.

No.

Here.

Give me a screwdriver.

What's this do?

You should have fixed it.

He's always so busy.

I think the threads are ground.

No, it's all right.

All right.

I'll pop him while you're away.

Oh, you are nice.

We had a taste of conditions on the

road a moment ago.

Thanks, Bob.

We have problems at the Caledonian Road at

the moment.

Also Hopper and London Bridge.

The Caledonian Road is heading south, coming down

towards King's Cross.

Oh, sorry.

I thought you were gone.

With my car outside?

Laura, here's her face in the misty light.

Thank you.

They're for Julie.

You can tell her the truth.

You can put them in water.

She might think they're from you.

Your words are like a whip.

Is there no hope then?

None whatsoever, I'm afraid, George.

And why did you come here so early?

For a woman with kids, this is early.

You knew I was here.

The other night you came in.

I promised Julie I'd look after you.

So you said.

I reckon you must fancy me.

That's the only conclusion I can possibly reach.

Do you fancy me, Laura?

It's not the word I would use, George.

You're supposed to tell me not to smoke

or you'll report me to Julie.

You can smoke yourself to death as far

as I'm concerned.

Ooh.

Ooh, look what I've found.

Ooh.

Are you meeting Julie at the airport?

No.

How can I when she doesn't know what

shuttle she's getting?

It will be nice to see Peggy again.

Peggy?

Julie didn't tell me Peggy was coming down.

Surprise, was it?

Julie was planning to surprise me, was she?

Hello, 6215.

Hello, Laura, how are you?

Oh, I'm fine, fine, thanks.

I'll just get him for you.

Bob.

Hello, Bob.

That's right, 200 cases.

Yes, you were quite right to check.

Yes, yes, OK, I'll see you Thursday, Bob.

Bye.

Were you expecting a call?

No.

I just thought Julie might find it.

Would you like anything with your cocoa?

Come on, Debbie, wakey, wakey.

The park's running, I'm not parking it.

37.

I think that's the age they're talking about.

Well, the travel news before that, there are

roadworks on the A23 Streatham High Road at

the junction with Sunnyhill Road.

Yes, I saw him yesterday.

Why, what's the matter?

Goodbye.

Why, what's happened?

Hmm?

Yes, yes, I'm here.

In case he's had another heart attack.

Another?

Oh, God.

Heart attack.

That's why I wanted you to keep an

eye on him.

I swore I wouldn't tell anyone because he

wanted to keep you in the company.

Now, that wasn't bronchitis when he was off

all that time.

Oh, I'm sorry, I know I'm being stupid,

Laura.

Look, I'll go over.

Look, will you phone me straight away?

Yes, I will.

Don't you worry, love, don't you worry.

OK.

Frank.

Frank!

Frank!

Go after breakfast.

I'll be 20 minutes, that's all.

It's on the table!

Heart attack.

The company doctor would have picked that up.

Maybe it was after he saw him.

Maybe it's one of his little games.

Yes, of course it is, I know, I

know.

I just promised I'd go over, that's all.

Go on, then.

Laura, I've got a nine o'clock appointment.

Please, Frank, Sally will come across, she'll see

to the kiddo, please.

Bloody hopeless.

Come on, George, joke's over.

No, the cellar.

George!

George?

George, are you in there?

Don't come in.

George?

George?

George?

Don't look.

Must have been his heart.

He was trying to fix that stupid chair.

He always said none of his jokes would

go wrong.