Original subtitles

What time's it now?

What time's he finished?

Five.

He's picked me up a half-past dozens

of times.

What did he say when he phoned?

That he'd get here by half-past.

I said it was important.

It's 22 now.

He's always on the dot.

You know Andy.

No, not really.

Well, he's no mate of mine.

I want to get it over with.

Don't worry, he'll be here.

Blow in his ear and he'll follow you

anywhere.

Not anymore.

Not after we've told him.

No wonder you get tummy pains.

What?

No, I can't eat anything.

Stress.

That's what causes it.

At work, I mean.

Well, everyone's got to have a safety valve.

Mine's got a tummy muscle.

Have you said anything?

Or hinted?

No, I've been putting him off ever since

you made me change my mind.

Here he is now.

You do it, Max, will you?

Yeah, yeah, leave it to me.

Hi, Anna.

I thought you wanted to talk.

We've been waiting.

What kept you?

A couple of brain transplants today, was it?

I'm only the radiographer.

I only take the pictures.

I'm not late, am I?

No, you're a bit slow.

Correct time guaranteed.

It's quartz controlled.

Can't be out more than a second a

week.

It shouldn't go by your watch.

Works off steam.

At least it's worth more than yours.

Over 150 years old, this watch.

My granddad left it to me.

This one's 1895.

I mean the price, not the year.

Something wrong?

Can I see the key, Max?

Yeah, a work of art, don't you think?

Look, Andy, it's a miniature skull and crossbones.

They really made things in those days.

It's a perfect human skull.

You can actually tell that these are crossed

femurs.

Crossed what?

Thigh bones, the longest in the body.

Yes, it's a lovely bit of craftsmanship, but

wind-up watches went out with the Beatles,

if not before.

Come on, what's up?

You said it was important.

Emma?

It's about me and Emma.

You and Emma?

Well, we're going on holiday together.

You and Max?

I see, well, that explains a lot, doesn't

it?

All the excuses.

I've been trying to tell you, honestly, I

have.

And when you come back?

We've been looking at flights.

Any luck?

Yeah, I think so.

We're waiting to hear, see if it's definite.

How long has this been going on?

Well, I haven't seen you for a couple

of weeks.

Now I know why, I've been too busy

behind my back with him.

Andy, keep your voice down.

You might have said something, given me a

chance.

I'm sorry, I kept putting it off.

I didn't want to hurt you.

Hurt me?

What's this doing to me?

Now look, Andy, you went out with her,

doesn't mean you own her, doesn't mean she

isn't free to fancy somebody else.

Now, you've had your chance, mate.

Come on, Emma.

Do you really want to live with him?

I thought, I thought we were sort of...

Well, you know.

That's the point.

You've never said anything definite, not once.

Never take it for granted, old man.

That's fatal.

Ow!

What's up?

Have you had the pain before?

I don't know how bad it is.

Max, it's agony.

We'd better get you to the doctor, Max,

as quick as we can.

Do you think it could be serious?

How could I tell?

I shouldn't take a chance on it.

It could be a symptom of various things.

Such as?

Don't ask me, I'm only the radiographer, but

I do take some pretty funny pictures of

stomachs.

Is it, um, is it a dull pain

or is it sharp?

Sharp.

Oh, yes.

That means it is bad.

Well, who's your doctor?

Of course you are.

We'll take one look at you and send

you to us for inside information.

We'd better get you over to the surgery

as quick as we can.

No, I hate doctors.

He's stolen you from me.

You know that, don't you?

You'll find someone else.

I don't want to find anyone else.

I mean, he's not good enough for you.

Anyway, I'm telling you now, I love you.

I always will love you.

Oh, never mind.

That's not important.

Yes, it is.

I care for you both, but I can't

have you both.

Make it me then.

It's too late.

Please don't go on.

The holiday's booked and we put a deposit

on the flat.

Oh, damn.

He's still on his feet.

What did the doctor say?

Nothing.

Well, he poked me around a bit, but

he wouldn't commit himself.

He's given me a form for an X

ray.

Just as I said.

I'm going to ask you to hold your

breath.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Stop.

Now, very still.

Good.

Breathe away.

Still playing up, is it?

Off and on.

It's a rotten timing with this holiday coming

up.

I've got to be 100%.

Don't worry, I'll stand in for you, if

you're not.

No, thanks.

Be my pleasure.

Don't I know it.

I'll be on that plane even if I'm

flat out on a stretcher.

You've no chance.

I reckon it's God's will that I'm doing

this.

God's punishment for pinching my girl.

What is?

Whatever it is you've got.

She's not your girl.

Never was.

Anyway, all's fair in love and war.

You should know when you're beaten.

Should I?

Have you seen something?

On your side.

Is there something there?

I'll just take this one and I'll tell

you.

Well, tell me now.

I can take it.

Lie still.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Stop.

Now, very still.

Right.

It's bad, isn't it?

That's why you won't tell me.

You're a bit of a hypochondriac, Max.

I never knew that about you.

You always seem so sure of yourself.

It's just I don't like the idea of

something on each side of me, that's all.

Who does?

You can get dressed now.

You're trying to wind me up.

Scare me.

To get your head back.

Is that it?

Never crossed my mind.

I'm not like that.

Be unprofessional anyway.

Come in.

You can relax.

There's nothing you'll die of.

Oh, thank God.

What is it then?

Well, I shouldn't really show you this.

How can I have swallowed that without knowing?

I didn't.

Isn't that your watch key in your stomach?

It's gone.

I told you.

You must have swallowed it.

It's impossible.

I can't have.

There's only one way down, Max.

But surely I'd have felt it going down,

don't you think?

Oh, I feel awful.

And there it is, side on.

Double check.

Proof positive.

It's in your tongue.

Oh, God.

Does that mean they'll cut me open?

No.

Surgery's only the very last resort when all

else fails.

They'll probably want to admit you, keep you

under observation, see no harms done.

Keep me in?

But we're supposed to be flying on Saturday,

remember?

Relax.

Chances are nature will take its course.

It's amazing what the human machine can cope

with when it's got to.

Mind you, it could be a bit tricky

with those little thigh bones sticking out from

the side of the key.

There's a slight chance of a blockage.

It's a pity it's not shaped like a

little football or an old coin.

You know, smooth and round.

Are you trying to scare me?

Don't worry.

You haven't lost your precious key.

We know exactly where it is.

Get me Dr Hartley, please.

Yes, I'll hold on.

At the very worst, all you do is

sign the search warrant.

How long do they say you'll be in?

Can't put a stopwatch on it.

Depends.

What about our holiday?

Better cancel the booking to be on the

safe side.

Oh, no.

That's terrible.

Well, it's only a temporary delay due to

circumstances beyond Max's control.

How do you feel?

Feel?

With that inside me, how do you think

I feel?

It's awful.

Still painful, is it?

Painful enough.

More rotten timing.

Couldn't have happened at a worse time, could

it?

Yes, we were just saying.

About Saturday.

The holiday.

Oh, yeah.

The holiday.

Andy says it won't be very long.

One knows more than the doctor, then.

Doctor won't commit himself.

Well, they have to cover themselves.

Bound to take a day or two, Max.

Maybe three or four.

Or five or six.

Thanks very much.

All part of the health service.

We've been trying to think how you swallowed

it.

It must have been when you were eating

that sandwich.

That's the last time I saw it.

Well, to be fair, maybe I'm a bit

to blame.

You see, I put the key down on

the table without thinking.

So if you put your sandwich down on

it and it stuck underneath, next bite?

Down in one.

But I didn't feel a thing.

Well, all that gooey bread round it.

What time is it?

7.03. You're still gaining.

No, it's stopped.

Is it broken?

There's nothing to wind it with, have I?

It was nice of you to come to

the travel agency with me.

I enjoyed it.

It's rather unkind.

Andy, there's something else I think I ought

to tell you.

Yes?

Max has asked me to marry him.

I said yes.

The wedding's on Saturday.

I see.

Well, I couldn't tell you straight out.

It seems so brutal.

Well, that's marvellous.

Made my day.

Emma.

As far as I'm concerned, you're still my

girl.

Well, don't look so worried, young man.

I've seen bigger foreign bodies than this.

The patient's worried about his forthcoming marriage, Mr

Stewart.

My dear fellow, that part of your works

isn't affected.

In the slightest, you'll function splendidly, provided you

always have before, eh?

Oh, yeah.

And you'll have to wait until the stitches

are out, of course.

Stitches?

Otherwise, you'll ruin your honeymoon.

They won't stand up to that sort of

physical activity, you understand.

You mean, you're going to operate?

If it hasn't moved by tomorrow, yes.

Put him on my afternoon list, will you,

Dr Hartley?

Yes, sir.

Um, do you, do you by any chance

have the watch with you?

The one that goes with this key?

In my bag.

Ah, sister, would you mind?

If it's, if it's moved before then, will

it be necessary to operate?

Oh, I doubt it will move now.

We've given it long enough.

But don't you worry.

I'll have it out in no time.

Oh, I see.

That is a very nice watch.

And it is in beautiful condition.

Are you by any chance interested in selling

it?

The watch and key?

I mean...

No.

Well, I hadn't thought about it.

My granddad left it to me in his

will.

I used to play with a key when

I was a kid.

Skeleton key, he called it.

Ah, I see.

Well, rest assured the key is coming to

no harm inside you.

And I look forward to seeing it in

the flesh.

Added incentive for getting it out.

Oh, no, they won't operate.

That's what you said.

I still say they won't.

Will you tell that to the doctors?

I'm on a countdown.

What can you do?

Look, there's still nearly a day to go.

And if a key starts to move, Stuart

won't operate.

Don't forget, I'm part of the backup service.

I'll have you an x-ray tomorrow morning

and I bet that key will have moved.

How can you be sure?

Happens all the time.

We had a baby in last week.

Swallowed a safety pin.

Open it was too.

And the sharp end, the one you stick

through your...

Stop talking about it.

Leave me alone.

How's the pain?

I'll have it back and no operation.

No pain now.

That could be a good sign.

That could mean the key's moving.

Stop talking about it, will you?

Sorry.

I expect you want to rest now.

Yeah.

We'd better go.

Go, leave me alone.

Yes, all right.

We'll go.

Andy?

Yes?

You will x-ray me first thing in

the morning.

Wild horses wouldn't stop me.

Don't worry.

I don't want you to have that operation

any more than you do.

Poor Max.

He's suffering.

Not a good patient, is he?

Well, you're seeing him in a way you've

never seen him before.

Yes, I imagine it.

Makes you wonder what he'd be like if

there's something really wrong with him.

Well, I wouldn't like that key inside me.

He wouldn't carry on the way he does.

I don't know.

I'm not sure.

How about coming and seeing where I work?

Is that enough?

Of course it is.

Do you understand all this?

Somebody has to.

I've never had an x-ray.

Don't you feel anything at all?

Not a thing.

So, you're the patient who swallowed the cotton

ball storey the whole day on that table.

Of course, with your clothes on, your buttons

and things show through.

Now, men's foot to their underpants.

But ladies are allowed to keep their bras

on as well.

Actually, you've got your forms mixed up.

All I've done is break my little toe.

Are you sure it's not your knee?

Now, I am very good with knees.

Oh, I'm sure.

But it's my toe.

Anyway, this is the gubbins that takes the

holiday snaps.

You won't switch it on, will you?

I can't.

The control panel's over there.

I've never kissed a girl on the table

before.

You've never wanted to?

You're funny.

Only one.

Oh?

What was she like?

Fair hair.

Blue eyes.

Very, very lovely.

Andy, I'm marrying Max, remember?

Are you sure of that?

Yes.

I think I'm sure.

Nothing can be sure now, can it?

Andy, you're confusing me.

But I have still got a chance.

This isn't fair to Max while he's in

hospital.

Aren't we all?

It's much nicer than an X-ray, I'm

sure.

I'd forgotten how gently you kiss.

No, look.

Look, the patient I'm referring to isn't on

the morning list.

He's on the afternoon list.

3 p.m. Well, I want him here

for X-ray.

What do you mean?

Who's changed the lists around?

Oh, God, no!

Oh, God,

no!

It must have passed out of the stomach

since the last X-ray.

It's the only possibility, sir.

Last.

I was looking forward to holding that splendid

key in my hand.

Tell the radiographer to locate its present position.

By the time I got to the operating

theatre, it was too late.

There was nothing I could do.

Why did they operate this morning?

Mr. Stewart changed his roster.

You don't question God about the order of

the Ten Commandments, do you?

It wasn't your fault, Andy.

Never mind.

Max will be pleased it's all over.

It isn't, not quite.

They didn't find it.

Well, where is it?

On its journey somewhere, we hope.

On its way out.

Well, so he'll soon be leaving hospital, then?

Could be.

Yes, I suppose so.

You don't sound pleased for him.

To hell with Max!

Look, Emma.

Can't you see it's fate, isn't it?

Swallowing the key, being in hospital, giving us

the chance.

I don't know, I'm not sure.

To sort things out, get it right.

You must see it's right, isn't it?

I'm just muddled.

The two of you, pressuring me.

Look, I've got to get back to the

office.

I'll be late.

Same again, please.

Well, tell him the radiographer gets back for

lunch.

Ah, the watch key, patient.

It's passed out of the stock.

The surgeon wants you to go lower down

until you locate it again.

Right, doctor.

Will do.

I'll call you as soon as I find

it.

No, no, I'll look at it as you

do it.

We're in a hurry to get on.

Oh, excuse me.

Hartley?

Yes, sister.

I can only spare a minute.

Push on, won't you?

Yes, doctor.

Quick as I can.

You said they wouldn't operate.

They won't operate again.

I guarantee it.

As soon as I've proved it's moving on

its way, you won't see that operating theatre

again.

I promise you.

Promises, promises.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Stop.

Ah, Hartley, has that key shown up yet?

No, not when I left x-ray, sir.

I want that key and the watch.

Perfect.

Well, what's the score?

Uh, it's on the, uh, on the viewer

in the darkroom, sir.

See it better in there, sir?

No, not at all.

It's amazing how far it's got, doctor.

Really?

There seems to be something not quite right

here.

On every x-ray, the watch key isn't

sharp-footed.

Very sharp.

Factually more than one would expect.

Don't you think?

Well, you're the radiographer.

You agree, oh, don't you?

Why don't you speak?

No, sir.

Did you say no?

You're not speaking very clearly.

Yes, sir.

No, sir.

Are you saying no, the focus is not

exceptionally sharp?

For a foreign body in the duodenum?

Yes, sir.

No, sir.

They don't appear to you as though the

key might not be in the intestine at

all.

Perhaps closer to the negative.

Say, placed by someone on the table under

the mattress, for some reason I haven't as

yet perceived.

Couldn't be, sir.

No, sir.

Nothing there, sir.

You're not eating, are you?

No, sir.

No, but there is something in your mouth,

isn't there?

I thought I saw you slip something in

your mouth, and now I'm certain.

What was it?

Let me see.

Open up.

I distinctly saw you swallow a man.

It's my saliva, sir.

My throat's very dry today, sir.

Or was it what we've been looking for

inside this patient?

The watch key.

You could have nicked here at the leisure

centre.

Well, you said it first, Max.

All's fair in love and war.

You had me, you had me.

I didn't mean for you to have the

operation.

This is your fault.

I just wanted to have a chance to

get things right.

You have a liar who won't let us.

He'll never speak to you again.

All for love, I see.

Gone all the way down, has it?

Yes, sir.

Prepare the patient for surgery, Dr Hartley.

I'll operate this afternoon.