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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,970 --> 00:00:01,730 Intro 2 00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:25,590 Music 3 00:00:44,060 --> 00:01:24,480 Mom, Dad 4 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,860 have done it on cold party. 5 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,240 Either you leave or I do. 6 00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:35,340 I'm happy now. 7 00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:37,020 Now get out of it saying you're going. 8 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:38,700 Why the hell don't you go? 9 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,260 Go for good and leave me in peace. 10 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:44,240 Rates, gas, electricity. 11 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,760 All final demands. 12 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,060 One final demand I await with pleasure. 13 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,180 The last judgement. 14 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,760 When you'll be judged as well as me, 15 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,340 you stale fish. 16 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:18,410 That was seven pounds and twelve hours of 17 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:18,790 oblivion. 18 00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:24,590 Perhaps they've come to cut something off. 19 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,370 Your head I hope. 20 00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:36,470 Oh. 21 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:37,090 Yes. 22 00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,110 I was wondering. 23 00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:40,830 Yes. 24 00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,190 Whether you were having any trouble with your 25 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:43,470 water. 26 00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:47,750 Water is something that has never troubled me. 27 00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:48,550 No. 28 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:50,670 No. 29 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:53,690 That was just an excuse of course. 30 00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:58,210 I have been a marriage guidance counsellor and 31 00:02:58,210 --> 00:02:58,770 a Samaritan. 32 00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,050 I was wondering if I could help at 33 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:00,250 all. 34 00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:00,990 No. 35 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:07,270 Just to pay for the one you broke. 36 00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,550 Mrs. Locke, I have a friend in alcoholics 37 00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:10,930 anonymous. 38 00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:12,990 Will you get the hell out of here. 39 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,530 Go and be a Samaritan to the strippers 40 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,370 in Soho. 41 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,890 I've done my best to be understanding Mr. 42 00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:20,070 Locke. 43 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:22,010 But really these rows are quite intolerable. 44 00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:23,770 I shall make a complaint to the landlord. 45 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,500 What did I keep them for? 46 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,940 Mementos of mediocrity. 47 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,780 They say success has to be paid for. 48 00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:57,840 Failure comes a bit more expensive. 49 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,060 And I have to pay for your failure. 50 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,880 Richard Mellor. 51 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,680 Old Dickie. 52 00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,980 Damn his guts. 53 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,000 Will you shut up. 54 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:24,630 Damn travel agents. 55 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:26,650 Damn photographers. 56 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:28,830 Damn PAs. 57 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:30,650 Damn PROs. 58 00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:32,710 Damn all the jerks who can't keep a 59 00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:33,230 deadline. 60 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:39,130 You haven't done much today, have you? 61 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:41,550 Moving these stones does my back in. 62 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,610 If you went to the osteopath, his name, 63 00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:46,750 address and telephone number I gave you, you 64 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:47,530 wouldn't have a bad back. 65 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:47,630 I don't want an osteopath. 66 00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:49,630 I just want five minutes peace, please. 67 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,090 You've had a whole day's peace while I've 68 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,790 been seeing 20 dumb models. 69 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,170 Oh, and fixing the air ticket. 70 00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:57,590 Hotel. 71 00:04:58,430 --> 00:04:59,310 Italian PR. 72 00:04:59,310 --> 00:05:00,690 He's an absolute idiot. 73 00:05:00,890 --> 00:05:02,130 Checking to see if I can get 40 74 00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:03,650 dresses through customs in Rome. 75 00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:08,510 Make sure I've got the hairdresser I want 76 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,450 him to stand in. 77 00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:19,240 Why the hell do you still read Variety? 78 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:21,900 Think you're going to make Broadway? 79 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,080 Nostalgia, my love. 80 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,080 I did make Toronto once. 81 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,620 Where did you put my clothes? 82 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,200 Clothes? 83 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,400 My dry cleaning. 84 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:35,920 Oh, God. 85 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,380 That means you haven't collected it. 86 00:05:37,980 --> 00:05:38,860 It's too late. 87 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,860 They're closed now. 88 00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:41,900 I'll go first thing tomorrow morning. 89 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,700 I leave the house at eight. 90 00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,540 That means I've got to go shopping when 91 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:48,000 I get there or boil in wool in 92 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:48,500 Rome. 93 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:51,520 I'm sorry. 94 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:52,720 My mind was on other things. 95 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,480 I've got to go to the theatre now, 96 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:55,660 too. 97 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,620 What for? 98 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,380 It's early. 99 00:05:57,980 --> 00:05:59,140 We have an equity meeting. 100 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,140 I haven't told you the show closes on 101 00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:03,920 Saturday. 102 00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,500 And it's most unlikely we'll get paid. 103 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,120 Did you last get paid for anything? 104 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,020 It's rough on the others, that's all. 105 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:17,460 They're not subsidised by wives who fly first 106 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,380 class to boil in wool in Rome. 107 00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:28,300 What time is the night boat to Dublin? 108 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:37,200 Yes, yes, I said Dublin. 109 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,340 And what train from London would connect with 110 00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:41,520 that? 111 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,000 Is that the first train? 112 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,900 And what time does that arrive in Dublin? 113 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:51,920 Right. 114 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:52,420 Thank you. 115 00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:46,710 Giles? 116 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:53,030 Dickie. 117 00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:55,050 Good Lord. 118 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:58,470 Do you still live over there? 119 00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:00,090 Yes, yes. 120 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,350 Still full of actors? 121 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:04,110 Well, there's one or two of us left. 122 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,510 Are you off somewhere? 123 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:08,630 Yes. 124 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:10,330 Paris. 125 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:11,870 What for a dirty weekend? 126 00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:14,810 The Puritan English would describe a lovers' meeting 127 00:09:14,810 --> 00:09:15,790 as a dirty weekend. 128 00:09:16,910 --> 00:09:20,390 No, no, those days are over, dear boy. 129 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:23,070 When do you go? 130 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,390 I've got a couple of hours to kill 131 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:27,610 before I check in at the airport. 132 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,850 I was just going down the road for 133 00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:30,150 a snifter. 134 00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:31,910 Ah, my local pub, yes. 135 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,470 Well, I can do with a drink. 136 00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:34,870 Oh, good. 137 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:36,930 Good. 138 00:09:37,850 --> 00:09:39,650 Is this your car? 139 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,950 Yes, it was a present from Melissa a 140 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:43,610 few years back. 141 00:09:43,730 --> 00:09:44,790 Oh, my God. 142 00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:46,230 Melissa! 143 00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:48,570 I think I need that drink. 144 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:51,710 It's nice to see you. 145 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,530 We never made this, did we, Gus? 146 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,570 I carried a spear here once. 147 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:58,190 Oh, yes. 148 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,090 I'm working down the road, actually. 149 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:01,930 Ah. 150 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:04,250 But not that play that... 151 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,610 You've got the worst notices I've read in 152 00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:06,490 30 years, yes. 153 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:07,750 Oh, dear. 154 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,810 Yes, we close on Saturday. 155 00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,770 Yeah, well, I didn't see your name outside 156 00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:13,930 the theatre. 157 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,470 No, well, I've only got a very, very 158 00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:19,290 small pouch, you know, and I'm understudying as 159 00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:19,430 well. 160 00:10:20,890 --> 00:10:23,170 Will be bad, or was it just bad 161 00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:24,490 luck that our names aren't up there? 162 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,270 Fergus Locke in King Lear. 163 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:31,790 Yes, um... 164 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,490 Richard Miller in... 165 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:35,850 Pygmalion. 166 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,350 I think I was a rather good Professor 167 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:37,750 Higgins. 168 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,390 In New Zealand. 169 00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:42,950 Why the hell do you need to play 170 00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:43,770 big parts? 171 00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:46,430 I've heard that Melissa's, um... 172 00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,710 Whatever the female of a tycoon is. 173 00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:50,230 What tycoon is? 174 00:10:50,810 --> 00:10:52,690 Oh, yes, she's got a chain of boutiques 175 00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:53,630 from here to Miami. 176 00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:56,330 So why don't you sit back and pack 177 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:56,590 her in? 178 00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:00,010 Well, because... 179 00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,670 Because I think she's left me, Gus. 180 00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,770 She's gone to do a fashion show in 181 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:07,050 Rome. 182 00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:09,150 She's got a chap there, I know that. 183 00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:12,510 And I don't expect her back. 184 00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:16,370 She will settle in some tax haven somewhere 185 00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:17,090 with her gigolo. 186 00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:19,830 Everything's in her name. 187 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:20,930 All I've got is a car. 188 00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:24,070 So I'm an understudy. 189 00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:26,490 I'm out of work now, too. 190 00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:31,410 Well, if I'd known, I'd have... 191 00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:32,310 I'd have called you. 192 00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:35,170 Even after 25 years. 193 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:36,110 Sympathy? 194 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:36,850 No, no. 195 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:38,130 Satisfaction. 196 00:11:39,170 --> 00:11:41,270 Because you, you bastard, you took her from 197 00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:41,470 me. 198 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,010 If it hadn't been for that, we might 199 00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:45,950 have stayed friends. 200 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:48,150 I've often missed you, Gus. 201 00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:50,930 We'd have rambled on like old hams do, 202 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,550 about theatrical digs and disastrous tours. 203 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,410 Yes, playing in... 204 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,770 Oh, do you remember now? 205 00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:58,390 What the hell was the name of the 206 00:11:58,390 --> 00:11:58,590 play? 207 00:11:58,990 --> 00:12:00,130 End of the Brighton Pier. 208 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,270 Oh, that's right, that's right. 209 00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:03,910 It was in the middle of a forsake 210 00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:04,110 game. 211 00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:05,450 Waves coming through the window. 212 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:06,870 And I had to say the line, it's 213 00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:07,570 so quiet up here. 214 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:11,350 And we both collapsed. 215 00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:14,570 All six. 216 00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:16,090 Two more, Kathleen. 217 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,150 And I'll have a packet of those cicadas. 218 00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:20,570 Let's sit down, shall we? 219 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,280 Is that pop time or real time? 220 00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:34,800 That's right by the radio. 221 00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,620 Only in a puritan country like England would 222 00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:44,740 they set pop talks five minutes fast to 223 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:45,820 make you drink up soda. 224 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,840 Oh, sorry. 225 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:49,020 Water. 226 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:56,170 Water. 227 00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:58,530 I said, did you want water? 228 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,230 Oh, yes. 229 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:00,910 Yes, please. 230 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:04,490 Sir, what have you been up to lately? 231 00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:07,150 Oh, er... 232 00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:09,090 Walk-ons in TV, you know. 233 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,470 I, er... 234 00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:11,730 I model a bit now. 235 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,910 Clothes for the older man, you know, insurance 236 00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:15,230 ads. 237 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,810 Plan for a happy retirement. 238 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,960 I should hate your guts. 239 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,640 Well, time cures all things. 240 00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:31,540 So they say. 241 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,260 25 years. 242 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,600 Haven't stopped me loving Melissa. 243 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,120 Ah, well, a woman is only a woman, 244 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,580 but a good cigar is a smoke. 245 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,120 Oh, was that from some play we were 246 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:48,240 in? 247 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,020 Sounds like Noel Card. 248 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:50,580 No, no. 249 00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:52,080 It's Rudyard Kipling. 250 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,180 Could I, er... 251 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,600 Yes, sir. 252 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:57,620 Thank you. 253 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,280 Do you remember the old storey about the 254 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:00,720 two girls? 255 00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:03,520 One says to the other, do you like 256 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:03,780 Kipling? 257 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,080 And the other says, I don't know, I 258 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:06,720 haven't done it yet. 259 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:14,880 LAUGHTER Do you remember the lovely Noel Card 260 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:15,180 storey? 261 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:19,260 He was rehearsing some romantic piece of his, 262 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,120 and the ingenue was a girl called Maureen 263 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:22,420 Klopp. 264 00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:25,460 So when Noel saw the proofs of the 265 00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:27,080 bills, he took her aside and he said, 266 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,880 Darling, you're a lovely girl in a lovely 267 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,620 play, but I really can't have my name 268 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,360 on the bill with someone called Maureen Klopp. 269 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,760 So go away, darling, and come back tomorrow 270 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,900 and tell me some nice, new, ethereal name 271 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,840 you've found for yourself. 272 00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:43,280 So she went home, came back the following 273 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,200 day, and Noel said, Have you found that 274 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:46,620 name, darling? 275 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:47,340 And she said, Yes. 276 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:48,340 Noel said, Tell me. 277 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,640 And so she said, Diana Klopp. 278 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:56,620 LAUGHTER Yes, yes, I remember. 279 00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,500 Did you know him, Dickie? 280 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:00,320 No, no. 281 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,120 Then why do you call him Noel? 282 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,080 Oh, God, Gus! 283 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,360 It's an old actor's habit. 284 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:08,940 We all do it. 285 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:11,620 How was the marriage? 286 00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,500 There was a boy and a girl. 287 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:16,080 Oh. 288 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,400 And where are they? 289 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,300 The boy's in New York. 290 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:23,760 And? 291 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,660 The girl does some sort of work with 292 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:26,960 children. 293 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,500 I've rather lost touch with her. 294 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,560 Doesn't sound as though the love match worked, 295 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:31,900 David. 296 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,340 Well, I never made it as an actor, 297 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,760 and Melissa was a great success. 298 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,960 She got in on the 60s boom, then 299 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,480 she went in for ethnic stuff, you know, 300 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,660 caftans and all that. 301 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,240 Then she made workmen's overalls a rage. 302 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,900 So now there are girls all over the 303 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,720 world walking around with the label Melissa on 304 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:50,100 their bottoms. 305 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,080 Whatever happened to that ghastly girl she went 306 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:56,820 to art school with? 307 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,960 Um, short legs and freckles and screwed back 308 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:01,140 hair. 309 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,220 Do you remember, she was sort of dumpy 310 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,480 and I had to have every joke explained 311 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:03,980 to her twice. 312 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,780 God, she was awful. 313 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,140 Smelt like the inside of a tart's handbag. 314 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:09,780 What was her name? 315 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:11,560 Audrey. 316 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:13,260 Oh, yes. 317 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:14,360 Yes. 318 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,740 Whatever happened to her, did she ever get 319 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:16,040 any work? 320 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:16,920 No, not far. 321 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,560 She married me. 322 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:21,980 I'm sorry. 323 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:32,080 LAUGHTER Oh, God! 324 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,620 Oh, God, that was funny. 325 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,540 I wish I'd heard that description all those 326 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,220 years ago when I asked her to marry 327 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:39,800 me. 328 00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:42,880 On the repeat. 329 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:48,140 When you stole Melissa... 330 00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:51,220 Gosh, oh, yes, you did, you devious bloody 331 00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:51,560 liar. 332 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,360 And the pair of you like birdlets who 333 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,660 mess up the carpets. 334 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,540 You messed up my life. 335 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,250 Two more, Kathleen. 336 00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:06,970 No, no, this is my round. 337 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:10,589 Diet, then. 338 00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:13,450 The same again, please. 339 00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:23,030 How was your marriage? 340 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,890 Bust, like yours. 341 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:28,950 We couldn't have children. 342 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,410 Then she found out that I was chronically 343 00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,310 unfaithful. 344 00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:38,270 So she took to religion and illness. 345 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:43,470 When she wasn't in church, she was in 346 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:44,050 hospital. 347 00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:45,990 Sure. 348 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,130 Well, Melissa was always doing the place up. 349 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,550 If we weren't converting the attic, we had 350 00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:52,130 to have a patio. 351 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:53,590 It was yesterday. 352 00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,990 With unpaid labour, mine. 353 00:17:59,110 --> 00:17:59,590 Melissa... 354 00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:01,130 was... 355 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,290 And I've... 356 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,610 I've known a few. 357 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:13,350 The most beautiful woman, dressed or undressed, I 358 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:14,770 have ever seen. 359 00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:18,750 You know who she reminds me of? 360 00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:19,790 No? 361 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:25,010 You know what reminds me of her? 362 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:30,990 Every time I see a picture of Marilyn 363 00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:37,250 Monroe, the hair that was blonde without being 364 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:43,970 blonded, the vulnerable red mouth that was like 365 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:45,630 a kiss without being kissed. 366 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,700 Has she changed much? 367 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,900 She was rich enough not to change. 368 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,440 Bloody hell, with her, my whole life might 369 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,060 have been different. 370 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,540 Work, sex, and everything. 371 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,960 Gus, that's fantasy. 372 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,380 So what are you going to do when 373 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,400 your show closes? 374 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:14,040 Take a break. 375 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,940 On what's left in our joint account. 376 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,780 Go back to where I grew up, Suffolk, 377 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,020 Norfolk. 378 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:22,640 Find a pub somewhere. 379 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:29,060 Yes, Audrey and I used to go cruising 380 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:30,520 on the Norfolk Roads. 381 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,180 We'd hire a boat, you know. 382 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,200 It's a boring flat country. 383 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,800 Too much water. 384 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:45,400 The body of Mrs. Audrey Locke has been 385 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,880 found in an apartment overlooking St. Martin's Lane. 386 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,540 Police say it might not have been discovered 387 00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:51,080 for weeks. 388 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,520 The tenants living below had not seen bloodstains 389 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,140 on their ceiling. 390 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,800 The police wish to interview Mrs. Locke's husband, 391 00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,460 Fergus Locke, described as an actor and... 392 00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:00,760 Mother of God! 393 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:01,520 Over by the bar. 394 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:02,200 Quick, move. 395 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,080 Get over there. 396 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,680 You're not the kind of chap who carries 397 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:04,920 a gun. 398 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,400 It's real, all right. 399 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,240 You know when I got it? 400 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,460 When you ran after Melissa. 401 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,780 Don't move, Kathleen. 402 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,560 I didn't come in here for the pleasure 403 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:12,160 of your company. 404 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,880 I thought if anything goes wrong, you might 405 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,800 help me with an alibi. 406 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,380 Well, now it has gone wrong. 407 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,740 Stay where you are, Kathleen. 408 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,480 I wouldn't want to shoot a girl from 409 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:20,940 Galway. 410 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,020 Mr. Murphy? 411 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,580 Mr. Murphy! 412 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:26,120 He's that murderer. 413 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:26,940 Don't give him a chance. 414 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:28,900 He never had a chance in all his 415 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:29,080 life. 416 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:29,820 Mr. Murphy! 417 00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:46,770 Thank you. 418 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:22,030 Come on, come on. 419 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:22,830 They'll never make it. 420 00:21:25,630 --> 00:21:26,870 Come on, they've got to be on that 421 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:27,070 boat. 422 00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:28,310 They've got to be on that boat tonight. 423 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:29,890 Come on. 424 00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,580 What the hell are the police doing here? 425 00:23:40,470 --> 00:23:41,810 Melissa. 426 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:34,240 Melissa. 427 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:36,100 Oh, no. 428 00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:39,020 Oh, my God. 429 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:44,300 Oh, my God. 430 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:48,620 Melissa. 27273

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