Original subtitles

I got into town on a windy day.

There was no reception committee, just a few

kids.

They'd never seen anything quite like me before.

But I had no wish to be interviewed.

It wasn't what you'd call a big place,

no.

But big enough.

Big enough.

You'd think they'd never had a stranger in

town before.

They thought I was amusing.

But that was only the beginning.

Yes, sir.

We want a suite.

Suite, sir.

Yes.

Bedroom, bathroom, drawing room.

And I want a view.

I want an uninterrupted view of the entire

town.

We don't have any suites left, sir.

All we have are rooms.

Rooms on their own.

Yes, a room.

With no bath, sir?

Who said anything about a bath?

I don't need a bath.

All I want is a room, somewhere in

the back.

The rooms in the back don't have any

views, sir.

Who said anything about a view?

My dear young man, is your little town

so attractive that I have to look at

it?

Will you sign here, please, sir?

Number 19, sir.

Thank you.

Who was that?

Christopher Columbus.

On our voyage of discovery.

The next day was bright and sunny.

Well, let's take a look.

It takes two days to do this job,

doesn't it?

Two days?

For a job you can do in the

morning?

Now, don't try that on me!

Greetings, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, would you mind?

Good trick.

Now, gentlemen, I want your attention.

There, you see?

Money.

Now, watch very closely.

Money into paper.

He's picked the wrong fellow, hasn't he?

Paper into money.

Very good.

And I'm keeping this.

My good man, what day is it?

Well, it's Thursday.

It's Thursday.

We're late.

They thought I was crazy, didn't they?

I'd show them if I was crazy or

not.

I didn't create an earthquake, exactly.

But a considerable tremor.

Well, why not?

I was quite a remarkable fellow.

I really became quite popular.

I quickly made one or two influential friends.

They thought I was funny.

Very, very funny.

Good.

Good.

Or everybody

knew me.

They were always pleased to see me.

After a while nobody began to call me.

I became the town character, peculiar looking to

know, but harmless, quite, quite harmless.

On the tenth day then, I was ready.

Excuse me, my good man, would I be

correct in assuming that this is the establishment

where Mr. Latham conducts his business?

Quite correct, Columbus.

It's first floor.

Thank you.

But if you've come to see Mr. Latham,

you'd better hurry.

Mr. Latham leaves at six o'clock.

It's five minutes to.

Time enough.

Time enough.

Good afternoon.

Oh, it's you, Columbus.

What are you doing here?

Did you want to see Mr. Latham?

That is the purpose of my visit.

I'm sorry.

I'm afraid Mr. Latham's just going.

Nine o'clock sharp tomorrow morning, Miss Parker.

All right.

Well, it looks as if we're just about

ready to call it a day.

But I'm Mr. Latham's secretary.

Is there anything I can do?

No, thank you.

Mr. Latham was the one I wanted to

see.

I promise I'll only give him just one

moment.

Do you mind?

Of course not.

Thank you so much.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Columbus, how did you get in here?

Good afternoon.

So, want to know what day it is?

It's Friday.

This time I'm late.

Take a card.

Any card.

Now, Columbus, I...

Oh, go on.

Oh, all right.

Look at it.

I'm looking.

The Ace of Spades.

Very good.

Bravo.

Now, take another card.

No, you take a card.

And another card.

The three of hearts and the ten of

clubs.

Oh, very good.

Very good.

I like card tricks, Columbus.

Matter of fact, I like to think that

I'm pretty good at the old slighted hand.

But there's a time for everything, and this

is not it.

My dinner will be ready.

I don't want to keep my wife waiting.

Tell you what, Columbus, you come back tomorrow

when I'm not here.

You can do all the tricks you like

in the morning.

Now you see it, now you don't.

Very good.

Now come on, there's a good fellow.

Oh, no.

Not yet, please.

I have something very special to show you.

What's this?

Handcuffs.

Genuine, guaranteed.

Examine them, please.

Well, they look all right to me.

They are all right.

You take my word for it.

Now, kindly, place them upon my wrists.

My wife will kill me.

There.

There.

Are they shut tightly?

They certainly are.

I hope you've got the key.

Oh, I need no key.

Examine them once more, please.

You're quite satisfied?

Yes, yes.

All right.

Now, watch carefully.

The more carefully you watch, the more astonishing

the effect.

All right, get on with it.

I raise my hand slowly over my head,

very slowly, and I count one, two, three.

Well, that's very good.

Examine them again.

Oh, they seem genuine.

It's very effective.

Did you invent this?

Yes.

Why don't you try?

Come along.

All right.

Yeah, enlarge your repertoire.

Now, the trick is in slowly raising your

hands over your head.

No, no, no, no, slowly.

One, two, three.

Jerk your hands.

Ah, you see, not slow enough in the

raising, not quick enough in the jerk.

So what's the knack?

Try again.

One, two, three.

No, I haven't got the hang of it.

You show me again.

Now you see it.

Now you don't.

Don't mind about that.

So much for magic.

What about these handcuffs?

So much for escape.

Now we come to illusion.

I take my waistcoat, thus, waistcoat into bag.

Isn't that extraordinary?

No, I don't think it's so extraordinary.

And I don't want to see any more

of your tricks.

I want to understand this one, then I

want to get home to my dinner.

Will you stop this crazy nonsense?

Presto.

Remember, Mr. Latham.

Remember what?

Me.

Remember me.

You don't, do you?

Oh, so sorry.

What on earth are you doing?

And I nearly forgot.

I'm not really as tall as this.

In fact, I'm not tall at all.

Just medium height.

Will you stop this nonsense and get these

damn handcuffs off me?

And I don't wear a top hat.

Not at all.

Now, Mr. Latham.

Now do you remember me?

Not even yet.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

No.

Well, then.

How about now?

We're getting warmer, aren't we?

But still not quite.

Well, then.

What about now?

Now do you remember me, Mr. Latham?

You.

You do remember me, Mr. Latham.

Wonderful.

After 15 years, you remember me.

How extraordinary.

What an extraordinary memory you've got, Mr. Latham.

Most people would have forgotten by now.

I mean, why should you remember the man

you framed for the murder you did?

The little man who was so confused.

He couldn't answer all your lies in court

and got 15 years for the crime you

committed.

What do you want?

Money?

How extraordinary you should remember me.

I'm flattered, really and truly flattered.

But nobody else is going to remember me.

You know, I walked through that door a

few minutes ago.

Crazy old man in a top hat and

a big bushy beard.

Not quite right in the head.

Poor old soul.

But harmless.

Oh, quite harmless.

And lots of people saw him come in

here.

Lots of people.

Including your secretary.

Now, when they walk in here tomorrow morning,

they're going to say, he did it.

That old loony did it.

You have guessed, haven't you?

I'm about to show you the best trick

of all.

Best trick you'll ever see.

I've had 15 years to scheme and dream

and work it all out.

So now we come to my, what you

might call, grand finale.

Ready?

Now you watch very carefully.

Umbrella into knife.

Place point of knife just there.

And...

Push!

Yeah.

Wasn't that a wonderful trick?

Notice of the little man who walked out

of Latham's office.

Just in time for the 6.20. It

was over.

The perfect crime.

Never in a million years would they guess

that the little man who left town that

day was their bearded village half-wit.

Never in a million years would they guess

that the

little

man who

left

town that day was their bearded village half

wit.

Never in a million years would they guess

was their bearded village half-wit.