Original subtitles

I've got

you now, Kate, wake up!

This is worse than it is!

Get off her, Kate!

Get off!

Kate!

You can't come near me like this!

You're going to get me!

That's not fair!

Sawyer.

Oh, yeah?

What?

That lock.

You didn't have no key, Sam, did you?

Just a pin.

Nice.

Kids.

You don't miss nothing, do you?

Teach me a trick, please.

Would you?

No.

Go on.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, Sam.

No, no, no, no.

It's naughty.

I've retired.

Come on.

Here.

Go on.

Out.

No kids in here, Jenny says.

Rule of the house.

Go on.

Come on.

Out.

Out.

Here.

What's this, Sam?

That's my Formula One.

Oh, is it?

Oh, yeah?

What's all this, then, eh?

Oh, the poster.

Put the letters on the desk.

Katie, these stole my...

Billy Thompson, you're supposed to be having flu.

Calm.

Back to bed.

And clean those teeth.

They're bright green.

Here's your motor, Maggie.

Is it true you're famous, Sam?

Back to bed, Billy.

I hope you wasn't teaching him bad habits,

Dad.

Me?

No, would I?

Never.

Oh, no.

What?

It's come.

The axe.

Oh, you know that?

Well...

You haven't opened it yet.

I know, but it's from the town hall,

and three great mates on the council have

told me already.

Cutback.

They've cut my grant by 25%.

And I'm already snowed under with unpaid bills

on this place.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, here's one for you.

Very posh.

Mr. Harrison, please.

Mr.?

I was always jacked, and I got the

sack, the boot, the old...

Hello.

What gives?

Sorry about that, Mr. Bliss.

Ah.

Yes.

Mr. Harrison.

Here.

Yes, I know, but he's just walked in.

Yes.

Right, I'll tell him.

Mr. Bliss suggests you walk right out again.

But he's got to listen to me, sweetie.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no.

He can't afford to pass this one up.

No.

Mr. Harrison.

See you, Puddin'.

I told her to keep you out of

my hair.

I heard, Henry, and you're wrong.

Everybody's wrong this morning except me.

But you're no longer with us.

You completely screwed up the Holdwell account, blamed

everybody but yourself, and I fired you.

This is the ricochet, baby.

Now, do sit down, Henry.

I'm not here to waste your time nor

mine.

Five minutes.

That's all I'm going to give you.

That's all I need, Henry.

That's all I need.

The 801.

Yadoo, what are you talking about?

Oh, come on, Henry.

Get a grip.

Holdwell's newest safe.

The 801.

I was working on the last one.

Ah, yes, yes.

It was Holdwell's chairman, Winford Stark, who specifically

requested your dismissal.

That was last week, Henry.

This is now.

Listen.

I can't help myself, can I?

The 801.

Their latest, their best, their totally impregnable safe.

And this.

Focus.

Sam the Touch Morrissey.

Yes, I can read.

I know, Henry, but does comprehension follow?

No.

Well, I think it's a great idea, Jack.

I haven't even said it yet.

No need.

This guy Morrissey is a safe cracker, right?

The best in the business.

Shall we get him to try to crack

the 801?

Henry, you're brilliant.

I knew you'd flip over it.

What a testimonial.

Superstar cracksman fails to open the 801.

Think of it, Henry.

What a promotion.

We'll get the press, radio, TV, everybody in

there.

We'll film the whole kit and caboodle.

I suppose he's still in jail.

He's out.

He's been on parole for over a year.

I checked.

Henry, if he can't open that safe, nobody

can.

Hilda, get me Winford Stark of Holdwell Safes,

will you?

Safe!

Safe!

Safe!

Safe!

I'm from Intercom Advertising.

Ah, well, you're worth a tenner for our

appeal fund.

There's the open.

Safe!

£10?

Coffee up or me dad's out, OK?

You're kind of expensive to meet, Mr Morrissey.

Oh, yeah?

Well, Jenny, don't miss a trick.

Not in a good cause.

Did you, uh...

Did you get my letter?

Yeah, I did.

Yeah.

I, uh...

I hoped you'd phone me back, Mr Morrissey.

Oh, did you?

But I don't crack safes no more, mate.

I'm out of that line of work altogether.

Well, there's, um...

There's nothing...

There's nothing illegal about my proposal, Mr Morrissey.

It's...

It's absolutely legitimate.

You see, uh...

Our...

Our client, the, uh...

The Holdwell Safe Company, would like you to

prove that their newest model, the 801, is

absolutely burglar-proof.

You're the best in the business.

Was.

Point taken, but, uh...

Your reputation lives on.

But I'm trying to live it down, right?

Sammy.

Can I, uh...

Can I call you Sammy?

Let's keep it formal, shall we?

Oh, Sam, right.

OK, Sam.

Now, in our promotion, we'd like you to

testify that...

Testify?

Oh...

Not like in court.

We want you simply to endorse the product.

Announce to the world that you tried to

crack the 801, and, well, you couldn't.

But no safe's really burglar-proof, mate.

There ain't no such animal.

Oh, you can bust any of them.

Give them time and the right tools.

Exactly.

And we're going to give you the time

and the tools.

No, no, no, no.

I'm sorry, uh...

Mr, uh...

Jack.

Just call me Jack, Sam.

All right, Jack.

I'm going to pull the ladder up.

I ain't interested, I told you.

I'm in a different line of work altogether

now.

Cheerio.

Mr. Morrissey, please.

We're offering you the opportunity to crack this

safe open.

You'll have three hours to do it.

You'll have witnesses like reporters, television, police.

Police?

Oh, no.

Just to watch.

To establish your efforts as legitimate.

Hey, kids, look, I'm trying to talk to

you.

Hey, you know, the 801 isn't very large.

You know, it's only about four by four.

But they have this new time-lock device

which the Hallwell people think is foolproof.

As a matter of fact, Sam, they're so

sure you can't open it, they're prepared to

make it a real challenge.

You see this envelope, Sam?

An envelope exactly like that's going to be

put in the safe.

Containing 550 pound notes.

25,000 pounds, Sam.

And if you can open that safe in

under three hours, that cash is yours.

All yours.

25 grand?

You're kidding, mate.

On the level.

All yours, Sam.

Well?

No, no, no, no, no, I can't.

I'd like to show it.

But you're in a different line of business

now.

Yeah, that's right, yeah.

Does it pay as well as this?

No, no, not quite.

More like pocket money.

What do you say, Sam?

Well, yeah.

What sort of gear?

You know, equipment that I have.

You name it.

Thermal lance.

Yes.

An Olympic drone.

Harrison!

Yeah?

Harrison, where is this fingers modesty of yours?

He ought to be here by now.

The touch.

The touch?

The touch, Henry.

He's never been known as fingers.

You've got it wrong.

Well, whatever, he's known and he's late.

Dale.

He said up past the co-op and

turn left.

He meant right.

Billy Thompson, who said you could come?

Sam.

Don't start an engine.

Sam's got enough to worry about.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, would you

kindly take your seats, please?

We'll be starting in a few moments.

Great, great.

I'm going to take a seat now.

Ah, thank you.

Ten seconds, studio.

Well, Safe Company Limited, allow me to introduce

our honoured guests for this evening.

On my right, weighing in at 2,370

pounds of solid steel muscle, the Holdwell 801,

the world's champion burglar-proof safe.

And on my left, at 110 pounds, Mr.

Sam the Touch Morrissey.

As you know, Mr. Morrissey holds the world's

record for safe cracking, but he's asked me

to assure you that he's now retired.

Paid his debt, done his time, and is

strictly ex-con.

Right, Sam?

Right.

The Holdwell Safe Company believe that the 801

can defy Mr. Morrissey's best efforts.

So strong is their faith in their new

safe that they are prepared to make this

incredible challenge.

In my pocket...

In my pocket, ladies and gentlemen, is an

envelope which contains...

550-pound notes.

25,000 pounds, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Grady, would you open the safe for

me, please?

Would you place this valuable envelope inside, please?

And now will you set the time-lock

mechanism for 12 noon tomorrow, when the press

will again be invited to witness the opening

of the safe and the retrieving of the

envelope.

Thank you, Mr. Grady.

And now will you close the door, please?

And so, ladies and gentlemen, the gauntlet is

thrown.

The Holdwell Safe Company hereby challenges Britain's number

one safe cracker, retired Mr. Sam the Touch

Morrissey, to open that safe before midnight tonight,

the time now coming up to nine o

'clock.

You have three hours, Sam, and if you

succeed, the contents of that safe become your

exclusive property.

25 grand?

He could save the own gin.

Shh, Billy, I know.

Shh.

Are you ready, Sam?

Yep.

Will you examine the equipment provided and satisfy

yourself that you have everything that you could

possibly require?

I have already.

Drills, bits, explosives, detonators, etc., etc.?

There's enough here for Fort Knox, Mr. Harrison.

Good, right.

OK, Sam, you have three hours.

Go to it, Sam.

And may the best man win.

Maybe he'll psych it open.

LAUGHTER What's

your chance?

He hasn't started yet.

Hey, watch it.

I'm trying to concentrate.

Yes, please, no photographs while we're recording, OK?

You'll have plenty of time for that later.

That's one.

That's two.

Beneath the protection of the surface is a

glass re-locker.

Mr Harrison?

Yes, Sam?

If I drill any further through the door,

she's going to re-lock herself.

Can we turn her on her side?

How do you feel, Mr Morrissey?

Oh, never say die, lady.

But it's looking pretty difficult, wouldn't you say?

Well, no safe's made to be easy, is

it?

But that don't mean there ain't a way

in, you know.

But in real life, you wouldn't have access

to that brochure, would you?

I imagine that's a pretty confidential document.

I've read them all, love.

I've got a library back home with the

specifications of every safe that's ever been made.

Must say, this one's pretty smart.

Why haven't you tried the thermal lance?

Well, I don't want to burn up the

contents, do I, eh?

I couldn't be sure.

If there was a time I'd cut a

handhold and that 25 grand inside wouldn't have

turned to ashes.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the 801 is now

in its new position.

I'm sorry, but I think it's only fair

not to take up any more Mr Morrissey's

valuable time.

Oh, that's all right, Mr Harrison.

I needed a nice break.

I'm sorry.

Oh, there's no soft underbelly to the 801.

Brilliant idea, Jack.

What's it made of?

Solid tungsten?

No, copper composite.

I feel sorry for him, don't you?

Your old-style con meets modern technology.

Don't worry, love.

Well, Sam, what's next?

Well, uh...

A touch of the high explosives?

Yes, could be.

Please stay well back, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr Morrissey will now try to blow the

safe.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time to blow

the safe.

Now, uh...

Two minutes to twelve.

This is my last throw.

It's taken me a long while to wire

up the number.

And if you don't go this time round,

well...

I reckon she deserves to win.

Okay?

Right.

Everybody back.

Right back.

All right, everybody.

Okay.

Hold on to your hats.

I told you!

Tell Jenny not to worry, okay?

Oh, no.

Sam!

Billy, you took it.

I thought I told you that elephant was

never to leave my office.

And now for the unique Holdwell time-lock

device, pre-set for twelve noon.

I'm warning you, Billy.

If you've nicked a single...

I'll show you, all right?

So, here it is, ladies and gentlemen.

Twenty-five thousand pounds.

What do you mean you and Sam laundered

it this morning?

Sam said it'd be safer.

Oh, Billy!

Have a look.

Toilet tissue.

Harrison.

Harrison knew all along he could never crack

the 801.

He just put on a performance.

He said...

He told me he was in a new

line of business!

He's a pig pocket!

Champagne, sir?

You haven't got a glass of light ale,

have you?

Certainly, sir.

Thanks.

Thank you.