Original subtitles

I don't

know about you, but I myself am an

absolute dreams of glory addict.

Sometimes I cause chaos at the Olympics by

high jumping 30 feet, or I stagger the

whole musical world with my great symphonies.

I have literally hundreds of these lovely little

glory dreams to choose from.

The best time to use them is in

bed at night, when reality is suspended, because

then, if you get a good one, you

go drifting off to sleep in a state

of supreme ecstasy.

Mr. Clements?

Yes?

They told me I'd find you here.

Botterball.

I'm sorry, but...

William Botterball.

B as in Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy,

I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver, L as

in love.

Botterball.

Mr. Botterball, of course, do forgive me, I

was miles away.

Please, don't apologise, I'm easily forgettable.

No, no, it's the light in here.

Why they keep it so dark at lunchtime,

I shall never know.

I couldn't see you.

Well, sit down, let me get you a

drink.

Oh, no, thank you, I never drink at

lunchtime, never.

No, I just came to give you my

decision.

Oh, good.

Good, you've, um, you've made a decision.

Yes, about the offer which you made to

me last week.

That was subject to negotiation, Mr. Botterball.

I'm not going to negotiate, I've decided to

accept your offer.

You have?

Yes.

To sell Botterball & Company.

And the subsidiary company, the one in America?

Especially the American company.

Wonderful!

Let me congratulate you, it's the right decision.

Well, you're a rich man now, this calls

for a celebration.

No, thank you, I'd better be getting along.

I've instructed my lawyer...

I insist that you have a drink, a

two large martinis.

No, please, Mr. Clemens, I'd rather not.

I insist.

No, no, I hardly drink at all, and

never in the middle of the day.

Oh, come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I envy you, Mr. Clemens.

Me?

Why?

I'll tell you why.

I'm listening.

Success.

Success?

You, sir, appear to me, sir, to have

made a success of your whole life, sir.

No, no, no, I'm a very ordinary person.

Oh, don't tell me what it is to

be ordinary.

I am the most ordinary person you will

ever meet.

I am much more ordinary than you are.

I am very, very, very ordinary.

Two more martinis, please.

I'd like to ask you just one quest.

Ask away.

Tell me honestly now.

Is it possible for someone to reach my

age without having experienced even one single small

success in anything he has done?

Oh, everyone has a little success from time

to time.

Me?

I?

Barber, nothing.

No, no.

I have not had success in anything at

all.

Never.

That's not true.

Even today, you've just sold your business to

my clients for 200,000 pounds.

I call that one hell of a success.

Oh, not my business, no, my uncle's business.

May he rest in peace.

See, nine years ago, when he was dying,

they traced me to Kansas.

It was his only living relation.

That business was worth four times what it

is today.

And under my management, it lost three quarters

of its value.

If I didn't sell it to you now,

next year I'd be dead broke.

Broke?

No, I am the most unsuccessful man in

the world.

Well, I believe you've got this all out

of perspective.

I mean, thousands of things count as success.

Things like catching a good fish or fixing

the motor of your car.

Wait a minute, could I have that, though?

Or pleasing someone with a present or winning

a small bet or a good round of

golf.

My handicap is 49.

And what about women, Mr. Potipoff?

Women?

Yes, women.

Every man under the sun, even the most

wretched down-and-out tramp, has at some

time or other had some silly little success

with women.

Never.

Now, don't you like them?

Like them?

Oh, dear me.

Oh, yes, I like them.

I like women.

It's just that you see, well, I don't

know how to say this, but I just

don't seem to get along with them.

I mean, I can't get the striking distance

of them.

Oh, but there was this girl in high

school in Kansas City.

Well, it's been very nice to do business

with you, Mr. Potipoff, but I'm afraid I've

got to rush.

Another little matter I have to sort out

for my master's.

But don't you worry, Mr. Potipoff, you're a

rich man now.

The girls will soon come running.

I prefer music.

Do you realise that every name of every

great composer begins with a B?

Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Goodbye, Mr. Potipoff.

Berlioz, Bartok, Breton.

A huge audience applauding.

Waiting for him to conduct his own first

symphony.

He bows.

The great conductor and composer, a living legend,

Bada Ball, the natural successor of Bach, Beethoven,

Brahms.

He taps his baton.

The orchestra is ready.

Bada Ball's first symphony.

I can't

hear you, sir.

The music is rather loud.

I said, put the tray on the table,

Mason.

Thank you very much.

I must say that was fun.

It really was.

I'll do it.

Now, it's crazy.

It's not crazy if you do it in

private.

I mean, who's to know?

Mason?

To heck with Mason.

He probably does some pretty crazy things himself.

I wonder.

I wonder.

Some guys setting up in competition at the

festival hall.

Yes, it

did seem to go very well, didn't it?

What should you call me?

Well, I prefer Maestro.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, the success has been amazing and very

gratifying.

My colleague, Leonard Bernstein, another great composer whose

name begins with a B.

Bernstein was telling me the other day that

he simply has to include a Bada Ball

symphony in every programme.

It's because it's just what the people want

these days.

Yes, yes, yes, music is my life.

It just seems to make me very happy.

No, no, my father didn't want me to

be a musician, but I wish he were

alive today to hear people call me Maestro.

Well, that's very kind of you.

Thank you.

Well, we're all labourers in the business.

Morning.

Um, would you tell me if you, uh,

sell things conductors use?

Batons?

Certainly, sir.

Would you like to come this way?

What did, sir, have in mind?

Something simple for the youth orchestra to follow?

Oh, no, I want the real thing.

Give me something Leonard Bernstein might use.

Leonard Bernstein?

All right.

How about this one, Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, that'll do, thank you.

Is there anything else, We stock a full

range of musical instruments, sheet music.

How about that piano?

Yes, sir.

Uh, this gentleman is interested in purchasing a

concert grand.

Then he's come to the right place.

This particular instrument has a lovely tone.

Good, that's nice, I'll take it.

How soon can you have it delivered?

Tapes, I want some tapes.

Tapes?

Yes.

I want the tapes of all of Chopin's

etudes, waltzes, and nocturnes.

All?

Just one moment, sir.

This gentleman will serve you now.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love Chopin.

I think he's my favourite.

Yes.

I like the nocturnes the best.

Oh, yes, yes, the nocturnes.

They'll be ready in a minute, sir.

Oh, good.

Darling, could I just have your name and

address, please?

Badebol.

B as in Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy,

I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver, L as

in love.

Badebol.

You're American?

Yes.

Oh, that's a very nice name.

Mine's terrible.

Rachuk.

Rachuk?

Mm, my father's Polish.

How do you spell that?

W as in Wyoming, R as in Z

A-S-Z-C-Y-Z-K.

Yes, I believe it's quite common in Poland.

Are you over here on holiday?

No, I live here.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I must say I envy you all

those tapes.

I'm building up my Chopin collection one record

at a time.

Well, perhaps you could, well, I was wondering

if someday you'd like to come along and

listen to these tapes.

How nice of you.

Do you really mean it?

Oh, yes.

Well, I'd love it.

It would be nice if you could come.

When could you come?

Well, I could come tomorrow.

Tomorrow would be lovely.

That's fine.

I'll give you my card.

What time shall I come tomorrow?

Oh, anytime.

Anytime at all.

Three o'clock?

Yes.

Yes, three o'clock.

Lovely.

Oh, I'll be there.

Thank you.

Good day.

Good day.

Mason.

Yes, sir.

Mason, I'm expecting a young lady to call

tomorrow afternoon.

A what, sir?

A young lady, Mason.

Very good, sir.

She'll be here at three o'clock.

Her name is almost unpronounceable.

It's full of C's and Z's.

Miss Rajek.

Miss Rajek.

Yes.

Don't bother to announce her.

Just show her in the concert room.

I'll be waiting there for her.

I want to surprise her.

Very good, sir.

Oh, Mason, do we have any wine in

the house?

Wine, sir?

Wine, Mason.

No, sir.

We haven't had any wine in this house

these 15 or 16 years, sir.

Yes, sir.

Ever since your uncle expressed...

I know.

I know, Mason.

I know.

But will you get some, please?

I'm asking the young lady for dinner.

Very good, sir.

And what shall it be?

Claret, Mason.

The best you can get.

Get a case.

Tell them to deliver it once.

Goodness, a concert hall.

Hello.

I'm so glad you could come.

Oh, Mr. Butterful, how exciting.

Do you like it?

Oh, yes.

You have a concert grand.

May I look?

Oh, please.

It's all right, Mason.

You can go now.

Do you give concerts here often?

As often as I like.

You see, I feel that in order to

appreciate a great composer, you have to listen

to every single note and imagine that you

composed it yourself.

Do you mean you invite famous musicians here

and they give recitals just for you?

No, not exactly.

No, I see.

You give recitals here yourself.

You're a pianist.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew you'd understand, Miss, uh, Miss...

Irene.

William.

William Butterful.

Yes, that has a musical sound.

Do you think so?

Do you really think so?

Yes, definitely.

Well, the truth is, Irene, that I...

Go on.

You'll laugh at me.

No, I won't.

I promise.

You'll think I'm crazy.

Tell me.

Here, this place, this concert hall is where

I am happiest.

Here, I can...

I can truly be myself or rather whoever

it is that I want to be.

I don't quite understand.

Did you ever think how wonderful it would

be to compose a great piece of music?

Oh, yes.

Or perhaps you've imagined yourself a great pianist.

Oh, yes.

Here, all your dreams come true.

Imagine if you composed this yourself.

Imagine if you were playing it yourself.

Watch.

Watch.

You think I'm ridiculous.

No, I don't.

Why do you laugh?

I was thinking what fun.

Then try it.

Please try it.

Stand up.

Come to the piano, please.

No, I don't.

Please try it.

Try it.

Play like...

Play like Schnabel.

Play like Horowitz.

Play like...

Play like Irene Ratik.

Bravo!

Bravo!

Stand up and bow, please.

Stand up.

Bow.

Please.

I have a wonderful idea.

We play a piano concerto together.

You play the piano.

I'll conduct.

It'll be a marvellous occasion.

The audience will go mad.

Please.

Please.

Will you do it, Miss Ratik?

Irene.

Irene, please.

Will you?

Will you?

Sorry, I get worked up.

Please.

Please.

Will you play the piano concerto with me?

It's like children.

No one will know.

Nobody else but us will know.

All right.

I'll do it.

I think I'm mad, but I'll do it

just the same.

It'll be a bit of a lark.

Tonight.

Yes, all right.

Tonight.

Good.

Good, tonight.

Come back and have dinner with me.

We'll give the concert afterwards.

Which is your favourite piano concerto?

The Grieg A minor.

Good.

The Grieg.

You'll play it tonight.

Dinner will be at seven.

Evening dress.

I've got a dancing dress, but I haven't

worn it for years.

You shall wear it.

Tonight.

This lady.

Mr. and Mrs. Badaball.

Mr. and Mrs. Yes.

Yes, she's a kindred spirit.

Mr. and Mrs. Badaball.

You can play.

You really can play.

Not well.

No.

You can.

I saw you.

You can actually play.

But not like a professional.

You went along with it just to make

fun of me.

me.

No, I didn't.

To humiliate me.

Never.

You should have told me you could play.

But I can't.

I promise I can't play well.

I only teach children at the Academy.

The Academy?

Yes, the Music Academy.

I teach the piano.

Oh, Mr. Bottlewell, I've always wanted to be

a great pianist.

Perhaps tomorrow I could be Limpeni and you

can be Bernstein.

Please.

You'd better leave now, Miss Radjic.

But...

No, no, no, sorry.

It's not gonna work.

Please, go away.

I mean, you're a success in your own

way.

I'm a failure.

Your music is real.

Mine, mine's fantasy.

Two different worlds.

It's impossible.