Original subtitles

There's all the difference in the world between

a real gambler and someone who just has

an occasional flutter.

The real gambler either doesn't mind losing his

money, or he's able to forget about his

losses by the next day.

I'm a mad gambler, I'll bet on anything.

I once got 25 to 1 against my

wife having twins, and five minutes later I

called up the bookie again and said, hey,

about that bet I just made, I'd like

to make another one.

Certainly, he said.

I'd like to bet you I'll lose it,

I told him.

He didn't mind in the least, and we

made a second wager.

I write storeys about betting because I'm fascinated

by how people behave when there's a big

bet on.

Here's one of them.

For two days, the Atlantic Voyager had been

sailing through a storm.

But on the morning of the third day,

the sea calmed.

Even the most delicate passengers, those who'd not

been seen around the ship since sailing time,

emerged from their cabins and crept onto the

sundeck where the steward gave them chairs and

tucked rugs around their legs, and left them

lying in rows, their faces upturned to the

pale, almost heatless October sun.

My name's Renshaw.

This is my wife.

Vannibal.

I'm sorry?

Vannibal.

B.

Brooklyn, O.

Oliver, T.

Tommy, I.

Idaho, B.

Brooklyn, O.

Oliver, L.

as in love.

Glad to meet you.

Mr. Vannibal, dear.

Hello.

Mm, isn't the sun simply heavenly?

I thought if that storm had gone on

another minute, they just could have dropped me

over the side and I would have said

thanks, fellas.

I told her it'd take her a couple

of days before she got her sea legs.

Oh, come on now, hon.

I mean, you make it sound as if

it's the first time I've ever been aboard

a ship.

Which is a matter of fact, as happens

to me too.

Are you a good sailor, Mr. Vannibal?

Just average.

Steward.

Yes, sir?

Steward, have the tables been allocated yet?

Some of them have, sir.

I guess the captain's table's by invitation only,

right?

Oh, yes, sir.

But there's also the first officer's table, sir.

And the purser's.

Purser.

Yes, sir.

Purser.

I'd like to be at the purser's table.

Let's drink to the hope expressed by Mr.

Renshaw.

Calm seas from now on.

Calm seas.

Calm seas.

Pardon me.

Would you mind telling me how much was

in the ship's pool last night?

What was that about a pool?

I'm not going swimming until it gets really

warm.

No, dear, it's not a swimming pool.

It's an auction pool.

Oh, what's that?

Ah, well, highly exciting.

Each evening there's an auction in the smoking

room.

The captain estimates how many miles he thinks

the ship will do by midday tomorrow.

And we auction numbers either side of the

captain's estimates.

Hey, this sounds like a lot of fun.

Mr. Bottiball was asking me about the prize

money.

It's always roughly the same.

Last night the pool was worth about 17

,000 pounds.

Good heavens.

I figured that should be about 12,000

dollars.

Are you thinking of bidding on a ticket,

Mr. Bottiball?

I'm not quite sure yet.

Oh, my God.

It's going to be a very dirty night.

Stuart, I should serve the next course at

once.

You'll enjoy the fish, Mrs. Renshaw.

It's turbot with holiday sauce.

Next time we go by plane.

If you'll excuse me, I think I'll just

see how she is.

Would you excuse us, please?

Pardon me.

Pardon me, could I ask you something?

What's the trouble, Mr. Bottiball?

What I...

What I want to know is...

Will the captain have already made his estimate

on the day's run?

You know, for the auction price.

Before it got rough like this...

I should say so, yes.

About how long ago do you think he

did it?

Sometime this afternoon, I imagine.

He usually does it in the afternoon.

About what time?

I don't know, around four o'clock, I

should think.

Well, it was calm.

You think the captain knew there was bad

weather coming on this evening?

I couldn't tell you, Mr. Bottiball.

I wouldn't know.

I mean, if it gets any rougher, if

the ship slows down, then it'd be worth

buying some low numbers, wouldn't you think?

Bottiball, I doubt whether the old man allowed

for a really rough night.

It was pretty calm this afternoon when he

made his estimate, as you pointed out.

Well, that means a storm could slow us

down, doesn't it?

Oh, come on.

The captain will have estimated too high a

number, right?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Well, it's time for the auction.

Now, the captain's estimate for the day's run,

ending at noontime tomorrow, is 515 miles.

As usual, we take ten numbers either side

of that to make up the range.

So it's 505 to 525.

And for those of you who feel that

the true figure would even be further away,

we have a low field and a high

field sold separately.

So let's take the first number out of

the bucket.

And remember, the captain's number is 515.

And the first number is 512.

$90.

I have $90 to start with.

$100.

$150.

$350.

$400.

Sold to the man for $200.

Let's take another number out of the bucket.

Ah, it's the low field.

Now, let me remind you that the low

field covers every number below the first number.

The smallest number in the range.

And in this case, that means every number

below 505 miles.

So what am I bid?

$100.

$100.

$100.

That'll bid for $100.

$150.

$150.

$200.

$200.

Any bets on $200?

$250.

$250.

Any bets on $250?

$300.

$300.

I have $300.

$350.

$350.

Thank you.

Any bets on $350?

$400.

$400.

$450.

Any bets on $450?

$500.

$500.

I have $500.

$500.

Any bets on $500?

$550.

$550.

Any bets on $550?

$600.

$600.

$600.

$700.

$700.

I have a bid of $700.

Any bets on $700?

$750.

A bid for $750.

Any bets on $750?

$800.

$800.

I have $800.

$900.

$900.

I've got a bid for $900.

Any bets on $900?

$950.

$1,000.

I have a bid for $1,000.

$1,000.

Any bets on $1,000?

Going once at $1,000.

Twice.

Sold to the man for $1,000.

Beer's in Brooklyn.

Oh, good.

It's great to see a friendly face.

So, what are you looking so happy about?

Lowfield.

That's me.

Lowfield.

Can't lose.

I heard.

It's a pretty good-sized pool, too.

A little over, what, $13,000, right?

$14,000.

I'll bet you had to pay plenty for

it, though.

$1,000.

That's some Lowfield ticket.

Want to know something else?

What?

It was my last $1,000.

It was all I had in the world.

Yeah, well.

Is that smart?

Smart?

Smart?

Are you kidding?

I just got through telling you.

I can't lose.

I mean, I...

I can't lose.

You see, the captain figured out a good,

calm sea, but then...

Slowed us right down.

Blow, blow, thou winter wind.

Wind?

Wind.

Wind is more poetic, old boy.

Poetic.

My love is like a red, red rose

that's newly sprung in June.

Robert Burns.

My love is like a red, red rose.

Yes, sir.

And my love, sir, is my wife.

And my wife, sir, is Ethel.

Now, now that, that, sir, that, that is

unusual, don't you think?

My love is my wife, and my wife

is my love.

And Ethel is her name, sir.

And have I got a surprise for Ethel.

Oh, boy.

A surprise?

When I get the $14,000 in my

hand from the auction pool, all in crisp

$100 bills, you know what I'm gonna do?

What?

I'm gonna buy the finest car I can

find.

I'm gonna pick it up on the way

from the ship, and I'm gonna drive it

all the way home, just, just for the

pleasure of seeing Ethel's face when she walks

out the front door and looks at it.

Now, wouldn't that be something?

Hello, Ethel, honey.

I have a little present for you.

Yeah, I saw it in the windows.

I was passing by, and I said to

myself, that's the car you always wanted.

You like it, honey?

You like the colour?

And you know what I'm gonna do?

What?

I'm just gonna stand there and watch your

face.

Come in.

Good morning, sir.

And a very nice day it is, too.

When did the weather change?

Just before dawn, sir.

But it's only 9 o'clock.

Yes, that's right, sir.

We'll make up for all the time we

lost last night.

We're fair bowling along now, sir.

What am I gonna do?

Dear God, what am I gonna do?

Oh, my God.

What's Ethel gonna say?

I can't tell her I spent six months

savings on a bed in the ship's pool,

and I can't keep it a secret.

Well, I'll just have to tell her to

stop drawing checks.

What about those monthly instalments?

Oh, that look when she gets really mad.

The eyes grey instead of blue.

Oh, my God.

What am I gonna do?

Good morning.

Well, there's no telling about the weather, is

there?

You can't win now unless this ship turns

around and starts to go backwards.

Hey, that's an idea.

Why don't you go up and ask the

skipper to put the ship in reverse and

go full steam astern?

You can offer him 10% of the

profits.

Hey, now, that's better, old buddy.

You've just got to face it.

There's nothing you can do to slow this

ship down, so you've just got to grin

and bear it.

Yeah, I guess so.

Good man.

You know, I was kind of worried when

I saw you standing that close to the

ship's rail.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Good morning.

Ah, Mr. Butterball, good morning to you.

All right, I guess I might as well

tear this out now, huh?

Yes, bad luck.

Ship's picked up a lot of speed.

Hey, could you tell me something?

How close do you think they got to

me?

How long would the storm have to have

blown before I had a chance of winning?

Oh, about an hour, I suppose.

Yes, if the storm had lasted for another

hour, we'd never have made up the time.

Well, why not?

Why ever not?

Sea's calm, and I won't have any trouble

keeping them flown until they pick me up.

Say, the ship will have to stop, and

the lifeboat will have to go back maybe

a half a mile to pick me up,

and then it's still got to return to

the ship.

Now, all that has to take at least

an hour.

It'll knock 30 miles off the day's run,

and that will do it.

The sooner the better.

Do it now and get it over with.

Have to do it soon because the time

limit's noon.

Yeah, she'll probably do it.

She would probably give the alarm just as

quickly as anyone else.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Take your time, will you, Bada Ball?

Take your time.

Check her out.

Make sure.

Hello.

Hello.

My name's Bada Ball.

B.

Brooklyn, O.

Oliver, T.

Tommy, I.

Idaho, B.

Brooklyn, O.

Oliver, L.

as in love.

Mr. Bada Ball.

You heard.

I was barely speaking above a whisper.

Oh, yes, I have excellent hearing.

I'm often told I hear things I shouldn't.

I'll bet you have 20-20 vision, too.

20-20 vision?

Well, I mean...

I'll bet you could see the tiniest speck

at sea.

Well, maybe I could.

What I mean to say is you don't

have to use glasses, do you?

Oh, only for reading, but then I really

don't like reading.

In the evenings, Maggie, we travel together.

She reads to me before I sleep.

I find it so restful.

Do you have any interest in the ship's

auction?

Auction?

Oh, what auction?

You know, that funny old thing after dinner.

They sell tickets for the bed on the

ship's daily run.

I bet if you had a ticket, a

high number, you'd be very pleased if we

would make up some time.

Oh, well, see, I'm very lazy.

I always go to bed early.

I have my dinner in bed.

So restful to have dinner in bed.

Well, I have to do my morning exercises

now.

You'll forgive me?

I never like to miss my morning exercises.

It was nice meeting you.

Very nice to see you.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

I've been

searching for you everywhere.

Hope you've been behaving yourself.

It's very odd.

A man jumped overboard just now with his

clothes on.

Whatever will he think of me?

He wanted to get some exercise, so he

jumped in and didn't bother to take his

clothes off.

He called out, too.

You're hearing things again.

No, I'm not, Maggie.

Well, you'd better come down now, and please,

don't go wandering about on deck without waiting

for me.

Come along.

It's time for your pills.

Yes, Maggie.

I think he took a liking to me.

Yes, yes, I expect he did.

He wanted to know all about me.

I do believe he was flirting.

Whatever you say, dear.

Oh, such a nice man.

He waved to me, you know.

He waved to me from the water, he

did.

He did!

Now, wasn't that kind?

Yes.

He waved.

He waved and he waved.

Such a kind man.

Oh, Maggie.