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I ought to
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warn you, if you haven't read any of
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my storeys, that you may be a little
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disturbed by some of the things that happen
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in them.
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When I'm writing a short storey, I'm haunted
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by the thought that I've got to hold
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the reader's attention for literally every second, otherwise
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I'm dead.
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The one you're going to see now is
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the first of a series based on storeys
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that have taken me 35 years to write.
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I find them difficult to do well, so
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I work slowly, about two a year.
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This one was filmed in its real setting,
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Jamaica.
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I hope you like it.
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Excuse me, please.
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Do I have your permission to sit here?
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Of course.
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Please, go ahead.
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Thank you very much.
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Ah, splendid day, is it not?
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But then, of course, they're all splendid days
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here in Jamaica.
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Yes, indeed.
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Who, might I ask, are all these people
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here?
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They are Navotel people, no?
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No, I think they're American sailors.
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Or rather, they're learning to be sailors.
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Well, I heard that their training ship arrived
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in port yesterday evening.
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I expect this is their period of rest
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and recreation.
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Are you okay?
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Yes, I'm fine.
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Would you like something to drink?
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Good idea.
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How about a rum punch?
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Lovely.
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What's your name?
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Kathy.
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What's yours?
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Tommy.
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You are here on holiday, perhaps?
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Yes.
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And you?
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No, no, no.
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It was my wife's idea.
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She insisted on it.
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Forced, as it were.
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Is this chair taken?
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No.
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Do you mind if we use it?
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Of course not.
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Thank you.
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Cigarette?
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No, thank you very much.
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Here.
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Let me give you a light.
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That will not work in this wind.
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I'm sure it'll work.
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It's American.
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It always works.
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Always?
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Sure.
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It never fails.
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Not with me, anyway.
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Well, well.
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So you are saying this famous lighter never
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fails.
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Is that what you are saying?
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That's right.
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It never fails.
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I promise you, it never fails.
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One moment, please.
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Now, just one moment.
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Shall we not perhaps have a little bet
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on that?
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Shall we not make a little bet on
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whether your lighter lights?
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Sure.
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I'll bet.
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Why not?
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You like to bet, huh?
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Sure, I'll always bet.
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I like to bet, too.
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Why don't we have a good bet on
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this thing?
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A good, big bet, hmm?
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Wait a minute.
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I can't do that.
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I'm not rich.
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But I will bet you five or ten
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dollars.
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Or whatever it is down here in local
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money.
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Now, listen to me.
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We are going to have some fun.
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First, we make the bet.
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Then we go to my room here in
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the hotel where there is no wind.
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And I bet you cannot light this famous
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lighter of yours ten times consecutively without missing
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once, huh?
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I'll bet I can.
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Good, fine.
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Shall we agree on the bet?
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Sure.
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Now, you listen to me.
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Outside the hotel is my car.
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It's a very fine car.
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Jaguar.
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Jaguar.
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Now, wait a minute.
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I can't put up that kind of stake.
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This is crazy.
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It's not crazy at all.
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You strike your lighter successfully ten times one
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after another and the Jaguar is yours.
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You'd like to have this Jaguar, no?
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Sure.
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I'd like to have a Jaguar.
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Who wouldn't?
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All right, fine.
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We have a bet.
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I put up my car.
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What do I put up?
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I never ask you, my friend, to bet
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something you cannot afford.
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Do you understand?
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Then what do I bet?
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I make it very easy for you, yes?
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Okay.
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You make it easy.
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Some small thing you can afford to give
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away and if you did happen to lose
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it, you do not feel too bad, right?
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Such as what?
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Such as the little finger of your left
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hand.
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My what?
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Yes, why not?
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You win, you take the Jaguar.
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You lose, I take the finger.
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I don't get it.
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How do you mean you take the finger?
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I chop it off.
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Chop it off?
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Oh, no.
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That's a crazy bet.
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Let's just make it five or ten dollars.
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Well, well, well, I do not understand.
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You say that your lighter will light and
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yet you do not agree to my bet.
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So, we forget it, yes?
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Might I have a light, please?
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Oh, sorry.
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Thank you.
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I forgot you didn't have one.
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Thank you.
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You're from the training ship, I expect?
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Yes.
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Enjoying it here?
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It's pretty nice.
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Nice people.
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Now, just let me check up on this
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bet of yours.
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You say we go up to your room
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and if I make my lighter light ten
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times running, I win your Jaguar.
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If it misses just once, then I forfeit
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the little finger of my left hand.
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Is that right?
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That is the bet.
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You know, I have studied you.
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Briefly, I admit.
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But the way you hold the lighter, for
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example.
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Obviously, you are right-handed.
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So, what use is the little finger of
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your left hand?
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If you lose, you don't lose much.
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If you win, fine Jaguar.
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But I think you are afraid.
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What do we do if I lose?
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Do I hold my finger out while you
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chop it off?
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No, no, no.
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That would be no good.
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You might be tempted to refuse to hold
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it out.
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No, what I should do, I should tie
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your hand to the table before we start
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and then I stand there with a knife
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ready to go chop the minute your lighter
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misses.
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Are you serious?
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Well, he's a fine, healthy young man, no?
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One quick chop is all right.
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No worry.
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He's all right.
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But maybe you don't lose.
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Maybe you win fine automobile instead.
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What year is your car?
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Excuse me, I...
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I don't understand.
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What year?
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How old is the car?
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No, it's very new.
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I buy only a few months ago.
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But I see you are not a betting
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man.
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Most Americans are not.
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Could I see the car?
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Do you wish to...
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accept the bet?
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There she is.
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The white one.
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She's nice, no?
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Do you like?
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Go on, get in.
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Sit behind the wheel.
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See how comfortable she is.
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Well, I must say, it's a very fine
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car.
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Wouldn't mind having it myself.
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What is it?
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Is it worth a finger?
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Well, no, of course not.
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It's only a game, isn't it?
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They're not really serious.
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I think they are.
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Okay, it's a deal.
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I accept your bet.
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Fine, good.
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Now, we begin.
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Now look, I don't like this very much.
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Nor do I.
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What do you want to do it for,
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Tommy?
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Is it a bet?
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Yes.
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Good.
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Now we go see if you can win
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this car.
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Oh, and you, sir, perhaps you would be
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good enough to, how you call it, referee?
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Now look here.
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Sir, I would consider it a favour.
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Oh, very well, I'll come along.
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But I still don't like it.
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Good.
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Now we begin.
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Excellent.
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First some gin.
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Do you really intend going through with this?
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Sure.
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I don't think you quite know what you're
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doing.
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Come in.
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Ah, good.
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Now there are certain things I want you
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to get for me.
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You see, we are going to play a
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little game here.
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So I want you to get me two,
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no, three things.
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I want some nails.
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I want a hammer.
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And I want a butcher's knife.
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And I want a butcher's chopping knife which
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you can borrow for me from the kitchen.
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You can get this, no?
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Chopping knife?
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Yes, yes, of course.
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You mean a real chopping knife?
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The kind that goes chop, chop.
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Off you go now.
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You can get these things for me, yes?
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Yes, sir, I will try, sir.
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Of course I will get it.
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Good, and make it soon.
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As soon as possible you get these things.
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I will soon come back.
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Look, don't you think this joke's gone far
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enough?
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Joke?
290
00:12:42,590 --> 00:12:43,390
Who make joke?
291
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:44,550
I don't make joke.
292
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,350
But the bet is preposterous.
293
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,270
The bet is fair.
294
00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:48,630
He accept the bet, no?
295
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:49,370
It's good.
296
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,410
I find expensive automobile against his little finger.
297
00:12:55,870 --> 00:12:57,570
I think it's a fine bet.
298
00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:01,610
I think it's a stupid, ridiculous bet.
299
00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:10,190
What will happen if you lose?
300
00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:14,910
It won't matter.
301
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:21,530
Come to think of it, I can't remember
302
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:23,330
ever in my life having had any use
303
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,050
for the little finger in my left hand.
304
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,930
Observe one left little finger.
305
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:39,770
Here he is.
306
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:43,070
Here he is.
307
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,350
And he hasn't ever done a thing for
308
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:48,990
me yet, so why shouldn't I bet him?
309
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:52,250
I think it's a fine bet.
310
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,540
Can't you talk him out of it?
311
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:05,940
I've tried.
312
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,660
Seems determined to go through with it.
313
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:09,860
Thank you.
314
00:14:14,710 --> 00:14:16,950
Now, before we begin, I will give to
315
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,110
the referee the keys to the car.
316
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,010
The papers, the ownership papers and the insurance
317
00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:23,530
are in the pocket of the car.
318
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:26,630
Ah, good.
319
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:27,270
You have come.
320
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:28,930
Now here's some money for you.
321
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:33,270
And hammer, nails, and chop, chop.
322
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:34,470
Very good, thank you.
323
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:35,630
Off you go now, goodbye.
324
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,970
Now we begin to prepare ourselves.
325
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,090
First, the chair.
326
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,020
Now, the nails.
327
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,220
Let's put in the nails.
328
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,910
And now all we need is some string.
329
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,220
If your friend loses, we must rush him
330
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:26,660
to the hospital using that damn car if
331
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:27,100
necessary.
332
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,180
All right.
333
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,180
At last we are ready.
334
00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:31,400
There.
335
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,280
Everything is now ready.
336
00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:36,260
Okay, let's do it.
337
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,400
You sit here.
338
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:39,040
Thank you.
339
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:42,240
Now, you put your left hand between the
340
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,780
nails like this.
341
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,640
The nails are there so I can tie
342
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,640
your hand to the table.
343
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,320
Now you must clench the fist.
344
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:49,460
No, no, no, no.
345
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:52,220
The little finger is sticking out like that,
346
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,420
lying on the table.
347
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,080
Here we are.
348
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:00,440
Again.
349
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:01,740
Around.
350
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:03,880
Around.
351
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,880
Around once more.
352
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,500
And so, like that.
353
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,580
Now, across.
354
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,120
And now the other way, huh?
355
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:20,980
Look at him.
356
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,380
Anyone would think he was organising party games.
357
00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:30,950
Tom, why don't you back up now, there's
358
00:16:30,950 --> 00:16:31,570
still time.
359
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:33,750
Back out?
360
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:38,260
I light this lighter ten times.
361
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,420
I want a great car.
362
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,700
Second you light it, and it could happen.
363
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:43,460
He'll do it.
364
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:44,640
He will.
365
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:45,760
He's dying for you to lose.
366
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,590
He really fixed that good.
367
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:56,550
Excellent, excellent.
368
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:57,670
Now we can begin.
369
00:16:57,910 --> 00:16:58,910
One moment, please.
370
00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:03,010
So, now, Mr. Referee, you will please come
371
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,730
and tell us when to start, hmm?
372
00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:09,130
Are you sure you still want to go
373
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,530
ahead with this insane business?
374
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:11,750
But of course.
375
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:14,490
And you?
376
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:16,430
Yeah.
377
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:19,770
All right.
378
00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:21,770
Are you ready?
379
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:23,250
I'm ready.
380
00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:23,810
And you?
381
00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:26,150
White, red.
382
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,330
Will you please count aloud the number of
383
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:32,350
times that I light it?
384
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:33,610
Yes, I'll do that.
385
00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:34,470
All right.
386
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:35,790
Go ahead.
387
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:55,880
One.
388
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:08,920
Two.
389
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:24,110
Three.
390
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,020
Five.
391
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,100
Halfway.
392
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:28,640
Six.
393
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,960
Tommy, stop!
394
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,180
Stay!
395
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:34,300
I can't!
396
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,020
I want you to stay.
397
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,920
Please.
398
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,160
Good.
399
00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:45,580
Everything is fine.
400
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:48,040
Now you try your lighter again.
401
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:11,240
Seven.
402
00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:23,630
Crazy!
403
00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:24,990
You're crazy!
404
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:25,770
I won't leave you alone!
405
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:27,530
How many times have I told you not
406
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:28,150
to do it again?
407
00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:29,470
You promised me!
408
00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:30,790
How many times have I saved you?
409
00:20:30,790 --> 00:20:31,030
Please!
410
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,970
You can go to jail if you don't
411
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:35,110
love me because you did it!
412
00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:36,690
How many times have I told you?
413
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:37,530
For God's sake!
414
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:38,470
How many?
415
00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:40,430
You don't feel good.
416
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:41,870
You're a coward.
417
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,030
That's what you are.
418
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:43,670
Say what you want.
419
00:20:43,670 --> 00:20:45,130
Yes, no, say what you want.
420
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,350
You know that when I go out and
421
00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:48,570
interrupt you, why do you do it?
422
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:49,190
I dare you.
423
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:49,790
Stupid!
424
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:54,570
He's crazy.
425
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:56,630
Crazy.
426
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:58,370
A menace.
427
00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:01,730
When we were at home, he's taken altogether
428
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,950
47 fingers from different people.
429
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,290
And he has lost 11 cars.
430
00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:09,750
In the end, they threatened to have him
431
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:10,410
put away somewhere.
432
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:12,850
That's why I brought him here.
433
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,270
It was just a small bet.
434
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,300
I suppose he bet you a car.
435
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:22,760
Yes.
436
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,120
The white Jaguar.
437
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:28,400
He has no car.
438
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,260
It is mine.
439
00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:33,480
And that make it worse.
440
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:36,060
That he should bet you when he has
441
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:37,040
nothing to bet with.
442
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,140
I'm ashamed.
443
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,440
I'm very sorry about it all.
444
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,240
Well, madam, here are your car keys.
445
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,880
And thank heavens the whole horrible business is
446
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:49,120
over.
447
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,920
We're only having a little bet.
448
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:54,720
He agreed.
449
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,700
There's nothing wrong with a little bet.
450
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:02,830
He has not a thing left in the
451
00:22:02,830 --> 00:22:03,590
world to bet with.
452
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,070
There's not a thing in the world.
453
00:22:07,670 --> 00:22:08,310
Not a thing.
454
00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:15,250
As a matter of fact, I won everything
455
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,810
from him a long while ago.
456
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:18,670
It took time.
457
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:21,470
A lot of time.
458
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:23,070
And it was hard work.
459
00:22:23,070 --> 00:22:28,930
But I win all in the end.
460
00:22:30,270 --> 00:22:30,690
Yes.
461
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:34,790
I win everything from him eventually.
28327
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