Original subtitles

The following programme contains strong language and violent scenes.

'People I'd love to kill:'

'Manspreaders.'

I mean... yeah.

That's what he said to me. 'Donna in the minimarket...'

Just saying!

'..who is never happy to help.'

Got an alligator in your garden, - then what? - Oh-

How big is it? 'Norman from work...'

No, I can't put that on the front page.

'..for failing to acknowledge my potential.'

'Jeff from work...'

'..for having zero spatial awareness.'

Night!

'Actually, everybody at work.'

'People who have sex with you,

and then then only reply to your texts with emojis.'

'My sister Seren for leaving me on read,

on my phone and in my life in general.

Our mum for leaving

and forgetting to tell us where she went.'

'And forever at the top of my list...

...Julia Blenkingsopp...'

Did you hear Rhiannon died? Awww

No, I- I didn't...

'..who subjected me to a relentless campaign of psychological abuse,

eroding my self-worth and general context in the world.'

Oh my God, do you smell that? It smells like decay!

She's so weird!

'Julia Blenkingsopp

for making me pull so much of my hair out that I had to wear a wig.'

'Julia Blenkingsopp

for turning me into a ghost...'

'..making me forever invisible and afraid.

'And I'd kill my dad...

'..for dying

and leaving me to deal with everything alone.'

Dad?!

Da... Nur- Nurse!

Nurse! Excuse me!

I pulled out the wire. You prick!

Nah, you're too easy.

You alright? Yeah.

Right...

Got you some bits. Yessss!

Give me my... knife, would you?

Here. Here you go.

Thanks. What happened there?

Ah, just... tea.

Jeff, er, bumped into me.

It was an accident.

You let people take the piss.

You need to learn to...

stand up for yourself. I know.

Don't just say you know. Do it.

I'm serious, Rhiannon.

Don't let people walk all over you.

Make 'em see you, how you are.

How special you are.

Just be more...

Are you trying to kill me?

You sound worse.

Has anyone been in to see you today?

I told you, someone will be with you

as soon as they're available. Excuse me?

Come on! It will take you two minutes!

Sorry, can I... This isn't good enough.

I pay for your fucking wages! Oh, can I have a raise, then?

My mate wants a mini trifle, so he should get a mini fucking trifle!

Don't speak to me like that, sir. Sorry, I- I just need, um...

Hey! I'm talking to you.

Hi, excuse me. Fine! I'll do it myself, then.

'And myself...'

You can't go in there! My dad... erm...

'..for being so helpless without him...'

He's crashing...

'..letting him down... again.'

'People I'd love to kill:'

'Everyone.'

♪ Swallow my tongue back of my throat

♪ Like it's finite

♪ Only so long I can chew 'Til I choke

♪ Hide in plain sight

♪ What have you done? My rabbit run

♪ Caught in the headlights

♪ And I'm bigger

♪ Now

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh

♪ So say my name Like I'm ten feet tall

♪ Bow your head like I'm royal

♪ And every day that I get older

♪ Bow your head like I'm royal

♪ I guess my blood's running colder ♪

You look nice.

Tommy will be so missed,

and not just by the people

whose extensions he didn't finish before he fell ill.

Ooh. What time do you call this?

As I was saying, Tommy will be missed.

- Hi. - But he'll be missed most by his family.

I thought you weren't coming. Flight was delayed.

...daughter Seren, mother to his only grandchild, Noel,

son-in-law Xavier,

daughter and carer Rhian...

That's not my name. Shh.

...and not to mention his dedicated employees,

Andrew, Craig, and Shaun,

whom he saw as family,

and all the other friends, colleagues and clients

who have come to say goodbye one final time.

And now, to play Tommy out of this life and onto whatever awaits,

is a cover of a song by his favourite artist,

Bruce Springsteen,

because Tommy was a "Boss" too.

Literally.

He ran a limited company and employed three other people.

I told him to say that.

Tommy, this one's for you,

carefully chosen by...

...Rhian.

♪ Hey, little girl, Is your daddy home?

♪ Did he go and leave you all alone?

♪ I got a bad desire...

It's actually quite nice.

♪ I'm on fire...

He said he'd haunt me if I didn't.

♪ Tell me now, baby, Is he good to you?

♪ And did he do to you the things that I do?

♪ Oh, I...

♪ I can take you higher

♪ Oh, oh, I'm on fire ♪

Thank you. Oh. Er... Thank you.

Sorry for your loss. Very sorry.

Thank you.

Thanks. So sorry, Rhian.

Er, it's actually... Rhiannon.

Yeah.

♪ GIN WIGMORE: New Rush ♪

What is she doing here?

She moved back. She wanted to pay her respects.

♪ I step on you

♪ To sip on fire

♪ I got this feeling That I can't go back

♪ I got this feeling That I can't go back

♪ I burn my eyes... ♪

Erm, excuse me? Oh, hi.

There are a lot of dirty glasses on our table.

Oh... OK.

Erm...

Hi, Aunty Brenda, it's...

Rhiannon, Tommy's daughter.

Oh. Are you the one that lives in France?

No, that's Seren.

I'm just... here.

So, you don't work here?

No.

She doesn't work here. Oh no.

Oh! Sorry. Woah! Steady on.

Oh, hi. Oh... hi.

Hi. Er...

It was really nice of you to come.

No, yeah. Like, obviously...

You know, Tommy was, like...

Yeah.

Anyway... So, how have you been?

Sorry, what was that? Sorry. Just asking how you've been.

Uh, I'm...

I'm pretty sad, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

Anyway, erm... It's good to see ya.

Yeah. I should deliver these.

Er, maybe we could get coffee or something sometime.

Yeah...

Yeah, OK. I mean, you got my number, so...

Oh, yeah. But, um... I don't know if it's working.

Does it end in 274?

Yeah, that's the one. Cool.

Do you want anything? Sure.

At school, she made me think I'd died and was just a ghost in uniform.

Uh? What's that? Nothing.

I should... It was good seeing ya.

Bye.

You alright? Mmm.

Here we go. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers, mate. Yeah.

Sorry.

I got them to do mini Scotch eggs especially.

I only eat meat when I'm menstruating.

Oh. Come on, it's a special occasion.

Rhiannon, can you stop waving meat in my face?

Oh, sorry. Didn't see you.

There are, like, zero vegetarian options.

Who the fuck eats iceberg lettuce?

You should have a word with whoever did the food.

Looks like an impoverished child's birthday party.

Yeah. Rhiannon, did you even send them my dietary requirements?

Oh my God! Hi!

It's been so long, hasn't it?

I mean, I haven't seen you since school.

So long ago.

We're all so different now, aren't we?

So, how are you? What you been up to?

Rhiannon?

My dad died.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

What?

Pidge wants some chipolatas.

Excuse me.

Stop being weird.

Were you just gonna go?

I did look for you.

Well, it was nice to catch up.

Yeah, I haven't seen the girls for ages.

They're all going for a reunion drink at SQR tomorrow.

You should go.

Are you joking?

What?

She pretended not to recognise me.

Julia?

Maybe she didn't.

Yeah. Right.

Rhiannon...

We need to sell the house.

And the business, probably.

What?

I... But I- I live in the house.

There are other houses.

But this is Dad's house.

Seren, it... Our home! You could always buy me out.

With what? I'm an admin assistant.

A bag of stationery?

Well, Xav and I wanna buy a place, so...

Well, why don't you move back? You could move back in.

And then we could all be, like, a little family.

It won't be just Tink and me. Are you serious?

Well, where would I go?

All of Dad's stuff- Sorry, it's happening.

I've got an estate agent. Julia's doing it.

No. Seren!

Yes. Rhiannon, she's doing us a favour.

Her new place doesn't normally take anything under half a mil.

Seren, you can't let her.

Let's talk about it later, yeah?

I'll ring you. Seren, please. I'll sort it.

Bye.

OK.

This could be a good thing for you.

A new start. What? Dad's dead!

I know.

He was my dad too.

You need to get over this Julia thing.

Go to SQR. You might have fun.

♪ LADYTRON: Destroy Everything You Touch ♪

'People I'd love to kill:

Julia Blenkingsopp...

...for getting to live the perfect life when she ruined mine,

and now coming back to do it all over again.'

♪ Destroy everything you touch today

♪ Destroy me this way

♪ Anything that may desert you

♪ So it cannot hurt you

♪ You only have to look behind you

♪ At who's underlined you

♪ Destroy everything you touch today

♪ Destroy me this way ♪

Tink, come here.

♪ LABI SIFFRE: Crying, Laughing, Loving, Lying ♪

♪ Crying

♪ Crying never did nobody no good, No how

♪ That's why

♪ I don't cry... What?

♪ That's why

♪ I don't cry ♪

Morning.

I'm back.

'People I'd love to kill:

My colleagues

for failing to notice there's been a woman-sized hole

on reception for the last ten days.'

'My dad

for saying I should stand up for myself,

and then dying, so now I have to.'

Do I need pet insurance? No!

'My boss, Norman...'

Cos I don't have any pets.

'..for only seeing me as a coat rack...

...when I could be so much more.'

Ooh! Can I get a word, Norman?

Oh, uh, that's not for me. I was...

Er, yeah. S- Yeah.

Erm, what can I do for you?

I'd like to be considered for the junior reporter position.

Please.

OK, erm...

Wasn't expecting that.

Erm, what's brought this on?

I've been here a while now,

and I thought it was time for a change,

so here is my CV for your perusal.

Ooh... Well, you said when I started

there would be scope for progression, and, erm...

I haven't actually, uh, progressed.

But I'd like to.

You don't have to read it now. Yeah.

Well, I've read it. It's quite short.

I've been working on some story ideas that could be good for us.

Erm, for example,

someone found a perfectly preserved cat

in the Carndell flats redevelopment.

I thought it could be a good, er, human-interest story.

Or, erm...

there's a residents' meeting happening next week

about the surgery closures. I could cover that?

OK. There's- There's more if you...

The thing is, sweetpea,

I don't really see you in editorial.

Well, cos I'm not there yet.

You know?

I'm over there, but I'd like to be... there.

And Jeff is...

just great. Yeah!

But, as junior reporter, I could focus on engaging my demographic.

Mmmmm... It's just, you don't have the, um...

..to be, erm...

You know? You're a bit...

"Ooh-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, ooh."

And you need to be "Argh!"

So, the question I would ask is,

"Do you have that killer instinct

to, er, do that?" You know, the job.

Well, maybe not now, but I can learn.

Well, y- you do that.

And then we'll talk.

Good?

Was there something else?

Erm... no.

Thank you.

Oh! Would you put these in the, er...

recycling on your way out?

Fuck.

Hi. Sorry.

Is this...?

Are you- Are you reception?

Erm...

Administrative assistant.

Ah, sorry.

I'm AJ.

Pierce.

Here- Here to see Norman.

That's a serious bit of kit you got there.

Perfect for all those...

administrative emergencies.

There's nothing in here.

Erm...

Hi!

I can just go through. No! Sorry, he...

He likes me to call th- Anthony, son, get over here!

Thank you. Fuck am I for, then?

Sorry, I didn't catch your name.

Oh, er...

Uh, Rhiannon.

Thank you, Rhiannon.

Oh, that... that's fine.

You couldn't do us some teas, could ya, sweetpea?

Heeeyyy!

How's your mum?

Erm- Saw her in the garden the other day.

Lovely top she had on.

She's always so well turned out, isn't she?

Fuck!

Thanks for coming in.

What? No, thank you.

Uh, a minute of your time, folks!

I'd like to introduce you to AJ!

Hello.

AJ will be our new junior reporter from tomorrow.

Heh-heh-hey! What?

Be nice to him. Not too nice.

Lana, I know what you're like.

Lock up your daughters!

Er, no, lock up your notepads.

And your mum!

His mum's lovely. Yeah.

Anyway, welcome.

And, er, I'll show you out.

That- That's out.

Yeah.

That was mine.

What's the fucking point?

'People I'd love to kill:

This fucking nepo-baby who thinks he's entitled to everything,

including my job.'

Ah!

Jesus, fuck!

Oops, sorry! I was just... What are you-

Shat myself! There's, um...

Uh, a form. A form?

Yeah, like, a new employee form to fill out.

Oh. And I don't have your email, so...

OK. That's why I'm here.

Can I have it? Yeah.

Er...

I think, uh...

I think Norman already has it, but...

Er, there you go. Thanks.

Y- You must really like your job.

Or I must really hate it and need an excuse to get out of the office.

Erm...

This is gonna sound weird, but...

...did I take your job?

Well, it's not my job, is it?

It's your job, so...

OK...

So, congrats!

Bye!

Bye...

Are- Are you OK there?

Yeah.

Alright.

Missed you.

Fuck's sake!

Ow!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no!

Tink!

Tink...

"Veuillez laisser votre message apres le bip."

Hey, Seren.

I hope France is good.

Tink's dead now too.

She's dead.

And I, um...

Please don't sell the house.

Seren, please!

It's my home! She can't take this too!

And you can tell Julia

to just leave me alone!

I don't want her in the house. I don't...

I don't want her here.

And Dad wouldn't want it.

And he said I need to stop letting people take the piss.

So, you can just tell her to just fuck off!

She is not gonna ruin my life again.

Actually, I'll tell her.

♪ SUGABABES: Round Round ♪

♪ ..nobody, got my honeys

♪ When I go round, baby, round, round

♪ Spinnin' out on me

♪ I don't need no man...

♪ Round, round, baby, round, round ♪

♪ SPICE GIRLS: Who Do You Think You Are ♪

Julia.

Julia!

Oh, Rhiannon!

I didn't see you. What are you doing here?

Stop it. OK?

Stop what?

♪ The race is on To get out of the bottom...

Are you OK? Do- Do you need a drink of water?

No, I don't need a drink of water!

I need you to stay out of my house!

OK? I don't want you in it!

Oh, babe.

You need to sort this out with your sister.

I'm just doing this for Seren.

Why me, Julia?

Sorry?

Stop pretending that you don't know what you did!

I've no idea what you're talking ab- You ruined my life!

♪ Swing it, shake it, move it...

I don't know who I am!

You- You made me nothing!

And you're back, and you're doing it again now.

You're selling my house, you killed my dog!

My life is shit because of you.

So just stop. OK? Stop!

Babe, I'm not in your life.

So all the shit, that's on you.

You didn't exist to me then.

And you don't now.

You're delusional.

It's like you're obsessed with me.

It's fucking creepy!

♪ I don't know

♪ Who

♪ Do you think you are?

You're not still doing that, are you?

Bedtime, I think, Rhiannon.

What's going on, babe?

Oh, nothing.

You made me this way.

♪ You have got to reach on up

♪ Never lose control ♪

She was like that at school, always making stuff up.

I think she's just lonely.

It's shit without you.

Oh!

What the fuck?! Woah!

Didn't see ya!

Woah, what the fuck?

Do you see me now?

I'll fucking end you, you stupid bitch!

You fucking cut me!

My fucking shirt! I love this shirt!

Oh, you're fucked!

You are so fucked!

You are so fucking-

Do you see me now?

Do you... see me... now?

Do you see me now?

♪ SLEIGH BELLS: Kids ♪

♪ It was a Wednesday, I got the Kool-Aid

♪ I hear my diction, Talking to my baby

♪ I wanna feel the ocean, Put on my sunset lotion

♪ And see the sun glow, Water flow in slow motion

♪ I got a beach chair, I see the blonde hair

♪ Pick up my feet there, I feel the cool air

♪ The breeze is nice now, I'll tell you right now

♪ I sip my Kool-Aid, I'm feeling better now

♪ Uh, did I ever need a vacation?

♪ Just need to get away for a while

♪ Wait, did I forget my sunglasses?

♪ Nope! Got 'em

♪ I paint my nails pink There in the sand dome

♪ I hear the ozone Calling on my radio

♪ I see a young boy There on the rope swing

♪ He gets a nosebleed ♪

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