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1
00:00:02,548 --> 00:00:04,010
You know the rules, tenant.
2
00:00:04,010 --> 00:00:04,880
It's Nate.
3
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,670
It is one thing to throw a party
4
00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:08,630
that rose above a dull whisper.
5
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:11,160
It is another thing for
me to crash that party,
6
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,300
ingest a series of chemicals
and take a bath in your sink,
7
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:17,270
and it is quite another
for me to beg your friends
8
00:00:17,270 --> 00:00:19,830
and/or family to take my virginity,
9
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:22,030
for each of them to look me in the eye,
10
00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:25,890
and for most of them to
say no, but a book club?
11
00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:27,007
Can you go back a second?
12
00:00:27,007 --> 00:00:29,790
Did I or did I not
tell you I was reading
13
00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:32,066
the war section of War and Peace?
14
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,100
Did you?
15
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,290
I did.
16
00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:36,380
And who wrote War and Peace?
17
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:37,650
Leo Tolstoy.
18
00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:38,880
What else did he write?
19
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:39,950
Anna Karenina.
20
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:41,400
You see my problem?
21
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,880
Yesterday, I was minding my own business,
22
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,830
reading your mail, when I saw a group
23
00:00:45,830 --> 00:00:48,140
of smartly-dressed women
leave your apartment
24
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:50,150
all carrying copies of that book.
25
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,700
To be fair, it was the SparkNotes.
26
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:54,960
I haven't felt this alone since I was
27
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,550
surgically separated from my twin,
28
00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,810
and then my birth mother
left me in a trash can
29
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,630
outside Bloomies, and now
I lay awake most nights
30
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,650
thinking hey, where's my twin?
31
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,975
Tenant, you have one week to move out.
32
00:01:07,975 --> 00:01:08,808
What?
33
00:01:08,808 --> 00:01:09,641
Ruth, no, no, please!
34
00:01:09,641 --> 00:01:10,474
Don't beg.
35
00:01:10,474 --> 00:01:13,234
Look, I'll give you back
your security deposit.
36
00:01:14,067 --> 00:01:14,900
One.
37
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,243
Two.
38
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:19,843
Three.
39
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,443
Four.
40
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:25,043
Five.
41
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:27,763
Six.
42
00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,420
You heard her?
43
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:37,310
Who?
44
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:39,223
Ruth, you heard our conversation?
45
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,153
No.
46
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,570
Then why are you packing?
47
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:47,243
We're being evicted.
48
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,030
Sorry to hear it.
49
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,260
That's all you're gonna say?
50
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:52,310
Are these yours or mine?
51
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:53,360
Can you please stop?
52
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,870
We're not getting kicked
out for another week.
53
00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:56,120
Fine, we'll split them.
54
00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,480
I don't get it.
55
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,870
You're the one who lied to me yesterday,
56
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,360
and why, what's the point?
57
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,200
Did you wanna hurt me?
58
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,830
Humiliate me?
59
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,840
And now what, am I supposed
to beg you to stay?
60
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,350
It'll never work.
61
00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:10,330
It's worked before.
62
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,690
No, us.
63
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:13,523
This.
64
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:17,930
I don't think we're
supposed to be together.
65
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:20,840
What are you talking...
66
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,460
Relationships are hard.
67
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:27,250
They're about compromise and sacrifice,
68
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,030
and you're just, I mean, we can't give up
69
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:31,913
every single time we get in a fight.
70
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:33,760
And by the way, you're the one
71
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:34,960
who gave me Walker's number.
72
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,870
You told me to call
him, so why am I the one
73
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:37,703
getting punished?
74
00:02:37,703 --> 00:02:40,883
I've just been trying
so hard to make you happy.
75
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,260
Like, you wanna move in together?
76
00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,890
Let's move in together.
77
00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:49,610
You wanna invite Aaron to our party?
78
00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:53,073
Okay, text our address
to your ex-boyfriend.
79
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:56,450
You wanna sleep with other guys,
80
00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:57,860
'cause it's still not enough?
81
00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,300
Fine, sleep with Walker.
82
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,173
Do it in our bed, while you're at it.
83
00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:07,820
So there you go, you got
everything you asked for.
84
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,240
I'm just...
85
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,990
You didn't wanna move in with me?
86
00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:15,593
Blaine, can you get that?
87
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,770
I don't know, Nate.
88
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,100
You're my best friend.
89
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,240
I thought Chloe Sevigny
was your best friend.
90
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,633
You FaceTime every night.
91
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,877
I've never met her.
92
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,768
What happened, did he cry?
93
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,493
Was it funny?
94
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:53,933
You can stay with us.
95
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:56,833
Charlie Puth got us a hotel.
96
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:04,543
Wait.
97
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:15,113
If you have something to
say, you know my number.
98
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,030
I don't, actually.
99
00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,750
I have it saved, but I
don't actually know it.
100
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:23,520
If somebody held me at gunpoint
and told me to recite it.
101
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:24,470
Bye, Nate.
102
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,220
What's going on?
103
00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:40,043
He's moving out.
104
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:43,200
Why?
105
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,900
What did I do?
106
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,050
No, no, no.
107
00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:46,883
This isn't about--
108
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,000
No, no, no!
109
00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:50,016
Luke!
110
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,793
She was just a pawn, man.
111
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,140
Who?
112
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:03,300
His mom, okay?
113
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,133
Wait, what?
114
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:06,190
We don't all grow up like you.
115
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,737
It was too hard for me
to say, "Hey, I'm queer
116
00:05:08,737 --> 00:05:09,717
"or questioning.
117
00:05:09,717 --> 00:05:12,430
"Hey, I wanna be spanked by other men."
118
00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:15,220
But you two made me feel so comfortable,
119
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:17,770
and I screwed it up.
120
00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,350
I'm sorry, is this actually happening?
121
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:21,030
I just wanted him to notice me.
122
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,910
You slept with his mother!
123
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:23,960
Because I love him!
124
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,840
I can't believe he was right about you.
125
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,673
Wait.
126
00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:37,200
He knows I'm into him?
127
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,963
He knows I like to be spanked?
128
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,143
He knows.
129
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,200
I guess this is the part of the movie
130
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,600
where the hero gets the guy.
131
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,010
Nate, thank you.
132
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:53,910
You've been a great supporting player.
133
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,363
Okay, I have something to say.
134
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,710
Hello?
135
00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:32,330
Nate, honey, I--
136
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,163
No, wait, mom.
137
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:39,990
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
138
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,680
I know I shouldn't have said those things,
139
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,213
but I just, I felt like
this wasn't my home anymore.
140
00:06:46,096 --> 00:06:47,370
I shouldn't have yelled at you.
141
00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:48,760
And in front of Nancy.
142
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,076
It was her first time at book club.
143
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:53,890
Yeah, but mom, if you wanna come over,
144
00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:55,520
you have to call me first.
145
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,380
Whenever I call, you don't pick up,
146
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,080
so I just stopped trying.
147
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,580
Because you don't give
me a chance to call you.
148
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,500
I'm your mother, of
course I'm gonna call you.
149
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,890
How else am I supposed
to know you're okay?
150
00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:07,940
You don't, you just have to trust me.
151
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,170
I want to, sweetie,
but you don't clean up
152
00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:12,410
after yourself or fold your clothes right
153
00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:15,650
or buy the good smoked fish,
and the dust in New York,
154
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,430
you know it's out of
control, and I don't see you
155
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:18,900
wiping down your own countertops.
156
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,110
Because you keep
wiping them down for me!
157
00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:23,730
I just, I feel like I'm with you
158
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,990
more than I'm with my own boyfriend!
159
00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,180
Or not my boy- I mean, I
guess I don't know what he is.
160
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:30,680
Did something happen?
161
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,020
Should I come over?
162
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,220
God, no, mom.
163
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,920
Just let me...
164
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,340
It's not that I don't want you around,
165
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:40,580
because I do want you around sometimes,
166
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:43,240
but you have to let me
do things on my own.
167
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:48,240
I just want you to have the
best home and the best life.
168
00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:50,797
Right now, I barely have a life!
169
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,860
Sometimes I just don't
know who else to call.
170
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:03,940
Dad's out of town and your
brother's doing Birthright again,
171
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:07,350
and I know you can clean
your own countertops,
172
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:10,010
and if you don't wanna buy
the low-fat whitefish salad,
173
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:13,470
you don't have to buy the
low-fat whitefish salad.
174
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:16,027
I still need you to work on
folding your clothes, so,
175
00:08:16,027 --> 00:08:18,083
but I know I go too far sometimes,
176
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,023
and I'm trying to be better.
177
00:08:26,510 --> 00:08:27,723
I'm sorry, Nate.
178
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:34,260
You are the greatest person I know.
179
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:35,252
No, mom, I mean,
180
00:08:35,252 --> 00:08:37,121
I'm not like...
181
00:08:37,121 --> 00:08:40,450
I mean, maybe I do need your help,
182
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,860
and I wish I didn't because
I really wanna do things
183
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:46,040
on my own, but maybe I'm not so great.
184
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,290
That's not true!
185
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,763
I mean, sometimes I don't
know who to call either.
186
00:08:50,686 --> 00:08:52,103
Nate.
187
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:55,363
You are as good as they come.
188
00:08:56,710 --> 00:09:01,710
You are kind and handsome
and smart and talented,
189
00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,163
and you just have to start seeing that.
190
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:08,823
Why don't you get out this week?
191
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,823
Go to the park or the movies.
192
00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,190
What are you gonna do?
193
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,803
I'll figure it out.
194
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:23,600
Maybe we could do dinner this weekend,
195
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,423
if you're around, no pressure.
196
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,153
Okay.
197
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,593
I love you, Nate.
198
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:35,311
I love you too.
199
00:10:59,648 --> 00:11:00,710
Blaine, beloved.
200
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,600
Why don't we go to Coney Island?
201
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,840
We can ride the loop-de-loop,
eat some ice cream,
202
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,470
get your portrait painted, by me.
203
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,492
Call me back.
204
00:11:09,325 --> 00:11:11,170
Blaine, did you get my voicemail?
205
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,000
I have trouble with these phones,
206
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,320
and I'm banned from the Apple Store
207
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,900
for staging an interactive dance piece
208
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,410
in response to Enron verdict.
209
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:20,480
Blaine, I just read my own tarot cards
210
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,940
and it turns out you are
receiving my voicemails.
211
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,306
Call me back, I'm pregnant.
212
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,530
Blaine, I'm not pregnant, but I do believe
213
00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:31,560
that you are screening my calls.
214
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:35,256
Do you know that the Village
Voice called me persistent?
215
00:11:36,089 --> 00:11:38,080
Blaine, I'm moving on.
216
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,690
I don't wait for any man
longer than 20 minutes.
217
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:41,673
Unfriend me.
218
00:11:44,229 --> 00:11:45,062
Hello?
219
00:11:45,062 --> 00:11:46,090
Ellen?
220
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:46,923
Lenora!
221
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,173
Let's go to Coney Island.
222
00:11:48,173 --> 00:11:49,006
Oh, um.
223
00:11:49,006 --> 00:11:49,839
I'll pick you up.
224
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,357
Well, actually--
15240
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