Original subtitles

- Aw! - Yes, hi, welcome!

- Hi, hi. - Thank you for coming.

Let's warm this party, am I right?

I can't eat this, Ed Sheeran wants me thin.

Okay, well I hope you splurge a little bit

because I've been busy as a bee in that kitchen.

You do no cook.

Soup. He's making soup.

It's my specialty and I just can't wait

to share it with you guys.

Is that a photographer?

Oh good, he's here.

Mmm! Ansel!

I can't be seen on the West Side.

There is an Albanian Prince trying to purchase her.

Fix this.

Ansel we are so glad you're here.

We are ready to be photographed. Also hi, how are you?

Yeah, I'm thinking maybe I'll lift up my shirt

like 'what's that breeze?'

Mmm, that's so hot.

Thanks babe. All right Ansel, work your magic.

What is a picture?

A thousand words, the courage to make a single sound.

The setting sun, my grandfather's eyes.

Cool. Okay, so, I'm thinking, um, maybe like

I'm gonna kiss his cheek.

You know what we need some drinks.

Oh yeah, ooo, smart year, I agree, mmm.

All right, work your magic. One... two...

Luke! Get over here!

Three, take the picture.

When the moment appears my lens will guide itself.

You know what, brb.

Wait.

Who did this look?

Oh, I threw it together from old napkins.

Hi.

Say it again.

My mom died when I was a kid.

You didn't tell me he was so funny.

Uh, Matilda, actually...

You should do stand-up.

Um, you know what, why don't we leave Blaine alone.

Maybe I should do stand-up.

I know a producer. I-I matched with him on Raya

he's a Field Producer on '16 And Pregnant' and, and

he's a part-time Shaman.

Uh, excuse us.

Oh, by the way, I am making soup.

Ah. Ah! How do you know the host?

Oh I don't. I'm just here to steal something.

Ugh, if people want to engage in heterosexuality

behind closed doors that's their business but

don't shove it in our faces.

Wait, who is she again? Matilda?

No, Blaine, he's clearly trying to make me jealous.

At this point it's a little ridiculous.

Ansel are you ready for us?

You are why God created moonlight.

I know!

I'll get it.

Hope you party animals are hungry.

Mom, why.

I even brought a cater waiter.

Shrimp?

Your mother insisted Nathaniel. I would have been

perfectly happy just bringing my water colors.

As if I wouldn't feed my kids.

So we brought food and my water colors.

Where shall I set up the portrait station?

Okay, well, I'm-I'm making soup. So...

No. No. Excuse me Miss.

You know what I love about him is how short his legs are.

Hey. You're Luke's mom, right?

I have heard so much about you.

Whatever you've heard is slander and lies.

Did we really have to invite Instagram models?

Duh! That's how I got Ansel to come.

Look, you know what, we just have to like

be cute and we will organically find ourselves

in a photo-op.

I like that, yeah. Is this organic?

Feels organic to me.

Do you think Aaron and Rusty will come?

What? What? I just mean-

Yeah, we'll see, Nate.

Shrimp?

Oh honey, just give me a minute.

Look at me: The Little Caterer That Could.

Isn't this place adorable? Hate that rug.

Anyway, the fruit is fresh from the stand.

Santiago puts the good ones aside for me.

And the meatballs...

Luke?

Tyler?

Oh my God. I love New York. You run into everyone.

Are you following me?

Darius and I are married now.

And I'm gonna need you to accept that.

I was invited.

By who?

Most people here have been inside of me.

Mmm, Tyler. Is the cream working?

Almost healed, girl.

Oh my God, I have so much tell you.

Darius and my house is the cutest.

It's like one of those tiny houses

except there are four of them.

Oh, I got a new setting powder. Look, no creases.

Everyone's talking about it. Both coasts.

I took a gender theory class and I discovered something

pretty big about myself. I hate learning.

Oh my god, and the biggest news of all.

Darius and I are thinking of having kids.

We're trying, as they say. Oh my God, is that Ansel?

Tyler, I love your vibe.

Oh I love yours you dark bitch.

So how are you? You look older.

What did I say about noise?

Oh shit, are we too loud?

Shrimp?

I-I'm so sorry Ruth. We did leave you a note though.

We slipped it under your door a couple of hours ago.

Yes I was sitting quietly in my apartment

reading the war section of War and Peace, when I heard

rustling beneath the door.

You're angry about the rustling?

We had an arrangement, Nate. You respect our quiet hours

and I send you pictures of me taking a bubble bath.

Yeah, you know, about those pictures...

I want them back, Nate. I want you to text me back

every single picture of my soaking wet body

in a bath full of bubbles.

I'm not sure that's how it works.

Oh, now he's a genius about bubble baths.

Text me those pictures and turn down your music.

Yes, of course, I am so sorry, Ruth.

Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate, everyone's doing

whip-its, you must join.

Nope, she's kidding. Hey, Isabelle, this is...

Ruth.

Hi Ruth. Take this.

What is it?

See you on the dance floor, Goddess.

Dance?!

Dance!

So I wake up in the middle of 7-11, covered in lube

and what do ya know? They're out of Vitamin Water.

Nate. I was just telling them about Elaine,

my Bichon Frise.

Um, have you seen Luke...

Could you just? I'm in the middle of a...

So, I was thinking of being politically active,

like maybe post about voter suppression or climate change...

I just need to find Luke...

But... then I got a Bichon Frise instead

and yes, Elaine does have a droopy eye, but I think

it's really been boosting her following. So it's @Elaine-

Shrimp?

It's a three bedroom house.

Perfect for a small family or a large couple.

Who isn't arouse by Chinese water torture?

Move, Logan, I can't spend my life in hiding.

No pictures!

Luke, we gotta start winding this down.

Sorry babe, no can do.

Hey Nate. My husband says hi.

Tell the joke!

I'm still in grief counseling.

What's your PIN? I'm trying to get into you bank account.

Nate some of these glasses look dirty.

You expect people to drink out of these?

You could have told me there was no place

for my portrait station.

How about I re-wash them, I don't mind.

We should paint your walls.

Do you have a needle?

I need to poke holes in these condoms.

@Elaine_Windsor_Pratt.

No time to explain: we need rope.

And a gun.

Why don't you bring down your laundry, I'll start a load.

Okay, I'm ready.

Finally, okay turn sideways, I'll cup your ass.

No, um, I heard there was soup.

Shit! Shit!

He didn't come.

Who?

Wow, Nate.

Honey, I brought meatballs.

No you know what? He has to live with this.

The party sucks, you ruined the soup,

and Aaron's not your boyfriend.

Oh no. Look how he runs.

Oh!

What, oh shit, I-I didn't know anyone was...

No, I didn't know. I'm so sorry.

Y-you're fine, you're fine, I just, I needed a break.

Me too. It was getting intense out there.

Yeah. Everyone's doing whip-its and there wasn't enough

room for the portrait station.

Wow, I didn't understand either of those things.

Me neither.

Well... Welcome to my hideout.

Your hideout?

Well, I guess it's our hideout now.

I'm Walker.

Hi, I'm Nate. Have we met before?

I don't think so. I don't even know whose party this is.

Uh...

My friend Tyler invited me. I guess the hosts

are big fans of his.

Tyler said that?

He met them on Instagram.

Big fans. That's fun.

Yeah. All that social media stuff... It's so gross.

Oh my God, I'm so... I am so relieved to hear

somebody say that right now.

Right? They just like each other's posts but they

never meet in person.

Yeah, there's nobody I want to meet.

Me neither!

I tried making soup.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, I-I was making soup down in uh, um...

But then it boiled over so...

It's been a weird year.

What kind of soup?

Vegetable medley.

Nice. My favorite's matzo ball.

Are you making fun of me?

What? No, no, uh, I had this friend growing up

who was Jewish, and we'd always go back to his place

after school to work on our magic act. We were good.

We had a fog machine and everything. But really I was there

cause his mom made the most incredible...

Get the fuck out.

What?

Oh my God, no, I'm so sorry.

Um, matzo ball soup is my favorite thing out of all things.

I just get a little emotional when somebody mentions it.

I'll be more careful.

I'm fine.

I should get back.

Don't go.

Thanks for the hideout.

But, we're not on Instagram, and this is real life

and maybe...

Walker?

Walker...

Nice to meet you, Nate.

You too.

It's perfect.