Original subtitles

Look at the little baby angel.

Just like a newborn babe.

No.

I wish you guys could smell him right now.

Tonight's the night.

Housewarming party for our new pad.

Dress code is homosexual business.

Our landlord is an icon named Ruth

who hates loud noises.

So, let's whisper the night away, babies.

Are you kidding me!

You are so good at this.

I do what I love.

Oh, is it supposed to tingle like this?

All over your body.

Nathan, you slept in.

We made crepes.

They're all gone now.

You missed them completely.

Why are you here?

Well, those crepes aren't gonna work themselves off.

Oh, 400 calories!

Luke, can we talk?

We're in the zone.

Which zone?

The ozone!

That makes no sense.

It's our mantra.

I'll show you how we thought of it.

Because it's not like in ozone,

like the atmosphere, it's-

I get it.

Your mom's a beast.

Because when I stretch, I go oooooohhhhh.

No more filming me while I sleep!

I did not give you consent to broadcast me

to your 75 thousand followers.

Nate, I hit 80 thousand followers last Tuesday.

Please pay attention.

Irrelevant.

All those people saw my sleeping boy.

Nathan, honey, you're famous.

I don't wanna be famous.

Everyone wants to be famous.

Oh, especially Nate.

He went to the open call for Oscar Meyer Weiner every year.

Never heard back.

I got him to watch The Bachelor.

Just this once.

Don't pretend you don't love it.

Yeah, but if he doesn't choose Becca...

And you can't just decide

we're having a housewarming party

without consulting me first.

Oh my god!

A housewarming...

I need to find a dress.

I like the long-sleeved shimmer lace maxi dress.

But everyone's seen that.

Did I say housewarming?

I meant global warming.

We're having a meeting in our apartment for global warming.

Stay away from our ozone!

Oh, you are so good.

No, it's you.

It's all you.

Stop.

Love you.

Did you even run this by our new roommate?

Heck yeah!

I'm gonna DJ.

The famous Blaine!

No, no DJ.

Ruth was very clear about the noise.

Morning roomie.

You guys, I had a dream I was wearing this exact outfit.

And then I woke up, and I was.

Meet my work out bud, Ellen.

Also my mom, so...

Hi Blaine.

They said you'd be here sometimes.

No, I'll be here often.

Blaine, just so you know,

this will not happen every morning,

and I'm so sorry if it feels like

people are invading your space.

Give me 30 seconds to throw on some shorts.

- Yay Blaine! - I knew I liked you!

Great, this is really fun for me.

Aw, why don't you bust out those leg warmers

and hop in here.

Nate does not like to perspire.

Okay, I guess you insist

we have this conversation in the open.

Here it goes.

We need to get on the same page

about what is public and private in our relationship.

What is okay for you to share with the world

and what you need to run past me first.

Well, this is the age of sharing.

I saw that on Rachel Maddow.

Love her.

And, think of all the kids you inspire.

Oh my god, you have no idea.

I get so many DM's from little gay boys in Ohio,

thanking us for the daily representation.

Is that what we are now?

Are we role models to the gay youth of America?

And overseas.

Beautiful.

Oh.

Yes!

Oh my god!

Wanna see me do lunges?

You can join the ozone.

Oh my god!

Surprise handsome!

Oh my god! We're going to Adele!

We're going to Adele! You better believe it!

- Whoa! - Buddy!

Honey, use your words.

Come with me, now.

We should've saved him a crepe.

I'm gonna say this one time.

I get it.

I should've asked you before posting.

You were right.

Honey.

Take off your shirt.

Okay.

And get in bed.

What's on the menu?

Ugh, god, shut up.

Come on, you're lying here.

I'm doing this.

This is happening.

That just happened.

Now take this.

Take one where I'm asleep on your chest.

I've created a monster.

It's for the children.

Nate, we can cancel tonight.

It wasn't cool of me to organize without you.

Oh, no, no, no, no. We're having the party.

Yesss.

Invite your friend with the fancy camera.

What's his name?

Ansel. Ansel.

You think he'll take pics for free?

Who is this person I'm talking to right now?

I'm just so inspired that we're so inspiring.

Nate.

No, this is good. We should be proud of our love.

We should be sharing our content with the world

and inspiring the drag queen children.

Now pick a fucking filter.

Okay.

My first place was in Brooklyn, but the basement flooded.

Oh, no.

Yeah, five girls with really short bangs died.

Well, it's on.

Never underestimate the value of makeup sex.

That is so cool.

We did not have sex.

We posted a photo.

Who was on top?

Probably Luke.

Yeah, you thinking about that?

You really think I would have sex

with my mother downstairs?

I hope you would feel that free, Nathan, yes.

I didn't wear underpants unless my teachers made me.

I feel like we shouldn't know that.

I feel like we should.

Well, boys, I will pick up some food at Sarge's.

Do you know they give me a discount?

She's a literal legend.

At least wait until I'm out the door.

Legend.

Nate.

What?

- Take it. - Mom, I don't want this.

Just take it.

Please do not give it to me.

I will feel better if you have it.

Fine.

Bye boys.

Bye.

Nice to meet you, Mrs...

Ellen.

So, party?

Yes.

Party.

I am so funny at parties.

I will kiss anyone.

Who should we invite?

Should we keep it small?

And what do we do about Ruth?

Invite her?

I'll leave a note under her door.

And maybe, we could invite Aaron and Rusty,

just to show there are no hard feelings.