Original subtitles

I feel like I haven't heard anything

about this Aaron, is it?

Is that still a thing?

I'm gonna miss you.

Luke, you can't stay here.

Oh my god, no, I don't mind.

You have your own place.

And I said I don't mind.

I mean, they both have boyfriends, and--

Luke has a boyfriend?

He tells me nothing.

A doctor!

Well, a med student, and they've been dating for a month.

Wonderful, then they're almost done.

What's it like dating a famous person?

He's not like famous, famous.

Chatty Chad was huge.

I mean, I have more followers on Insta.

That's 'cause his account is private.

I know my brother.

Luke will destroy a delicate boy like that.

We had sex.

No, we didn't.

Me and Nate.

Honey, it's Nate and I.

You know, so I still haven't really told Aaron.

Did you not have a good time?

Irrelevant.

Luke, I'm not this person!

Like, I finally nabbed the perfect guy

and then I knowingly screw it up with-

I'm perfect.

Aaron!

Aaron is perfect!

Remember how you said you love surprises?

I might've snooped through your contacts.

How is Doctor Rusty?

Dead.

What?!

To me.

I broke it off.

Why didn't I see this coming?

To be fair, when Richard booked your travel,

he didn't know that they were--

Mom!

What the hell is it about this guy?!

Should I treat you the way he does?!

Should I have been a shitty human being

who never puts your needs first?!

I get to make my own choice.

Then choose.

I want you to be my boyfriend.

Shit.

You know what I love?

Even though you have all this family money for our new pad

you still bought Ikea furniture.

I have a monthly budget.

What's your monthly budget?

Can you just please hand me the screwdriver?

5,000 likes.

So, I love all these new followers I'm getting,

very exciting.

I just like, I get a little nervous

when you post a picture of us,

'cause like it's only been a couple of months.

Are you not proud to be my boyfriend?

No, I'm so proud.

I'm proud as a straight actor

who wins an award for playing gay;

that is how proud.

I'm just like, I'm trying to be sensitive.

Can you hand me one of the washers?

What do washers look like?

They're the little circles.

Look, I'm just saying that a little empathy

after everything that's happened,

it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Fuck-

Here.

So I need more than one.

What if Aaron is thriving without you?

Ever thought of that?

Yes I have.

Huh?

No, never, no.

Oh my--

That's good, 'cause now I have more than one, so.

You can post whatever you want.

But just like, if you could choose a shot

that favors the left, 'cause like my left side

is better than my right.

And like, if you could whiten my teeth,

especially like between my lateral incisors

and then any like blemishes I might have;

if you could just face tune those out.

And any razor burn too.

Just be cautious about my hairline,

like my hair can't be pushed back too far.

My forehead looks huge.

And then just like, add some fade and use Valencia.

Stop it!

You can post whatever you want.

Thank you.

I do dislike you.

No, you don't.

Okay.

Oh my god, it's you!

Hi.

Can you just make a video for my friend, Genevieve?

We have so many jokes about your face!

Yeah sorry, I'm just trying to get a cab.

Yeah, can you say "Camilla is a stunning goddess

"who did not make out with her cousin"?

I'm just trying to get a cab!

I'm just trying to get a cab!

Wow.

You're a dick.

I'm posting this!

Oh my god, why are they so early?

She likes to be prompt.

I, for one, can't wait to decorate.

Mom, this isn't your place.

Semantics.

Where's Lenora?

Nathaniel, dear.

While my figure resembles Vivienne Leigh's,

my bones are as brittle as a Fabergé egg.

And this morning,

I reached a rather difficult passage in my novel.

Oh, you're writing a novel.

Well...

Rewriting one.

Jonathan Franzen could use a woman's touch.

Could you please help me to the door?

Yeah.

Both of you, please.

Yes, gently.

Oh my god, yeah.

Potential roomie.

But surely you can cover the maintenance fee on your own?

Luke thought it was important

to have a third party.

Oh, he's right honey.

You'll need a buffer for all the fighting.

Ooh, this clashes!

We can all agree this clashes, right?

No, we're very clean.

And Nate's mom, well.

I'll be here often.

Oh, ask him if he's a smoker.

Nate wants to know if you smoke?

Oh, no, yeah, I meant cigarettes.

Green is fine.

Green?

Marijuana.

I did blow in the '80s.

Luke honey, make sure he likes the gays.

On it.

Well, I just wanna say

to our two moms, hi guys

and welcome-- - Nate!

Remind me where the bedroom is?

Why?

I need to refold your clothes.

Oh yes, naturally.

So, as I'm sure you've probably gathered,

you'll be living with a gay couple.

Oh, what gave it away?

He says it was the picture of Laura Dern

in our Craigslist ad.

Laura Dern.

Is she a gay?

So, walk me through what you like to do in the shower.

Welcome to New York Kennedy

International Airport.

Hey, what can I get you?

Holy shit.

You're that guy from--

Whiskey.

On the rocks.

All right.

So that's the kind of evening we're gonna have together?

Okay.

What am I doing?

Oh, Logan!

I received a text from brother Luke

to come bless the apartment.

That's so sweet, but you know,

it's getting a little crowded in here.

Yeah, but you're so little.

I prefer petite but okay.

Yeah, I just gotta check with the fella

and I'll circle back.

Logan!

We're neighbors, brother.

Only took me five minutes of fast walk over here.

You're still living with Lacy?

Isn't it wonderful.

Yeah, but our bathtub only fits one.

Wait, what, what?

I do not like that mattress

and after we talk about that chez,

I'm gonna write you a check to move this wall.

But of course.

Thanks.

Joe, it's Joe.

Thanks Joe.

So why did they cancel Chatty Chad?

Was it 'cause you started doing movies?

'Cause that's a real fucked up move, man.

That's my daughter's favorite show.

She's six years old.

She's never known pain,

and if I were different kind of person,

I would take you out

by the side of the road.

And I would break you in half.

Okay.

Good talk.

A toast to our boys who are finally together,

co-existing sublimely in their very own home.

Fulfilling the destiny put forth

when they were just little tadpoles.

Nate, can you believe it?

The boy who bullied you is now the love of your life.

I was playing the long game.

So let's raise a glass without spilling.

To my favorite son, and Nate.

Also, can I just say, you know,

I love our families so intertwined

and close and accessible, you know.

But maybe also, Luke and I can establish

some boundaries this time round.

No, okay, so like,

I love we all live in New York,

I love that we all live so close, and like, yes.

But you know maybe, like Luke and I,

we could also like grow up a little bit

in this apartment and experience some

independence.

Okay, first off no-one look at me,

I have total massage face.

And second, everyone one shut up.

And look.

- Oh. - Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I...

This isn't chardonnay.

Okay.

It's whiskey, it's really--

More chardonnay?

Yes please, that'd be fine, thank you.

This one's on him.

In honor of my daughter.

Who wants to be a scientist.

Because women can do anything.

- You don't have to. - It's okay.

Just because life shits on you

it doesn't mean you can't...

Whatever.

Yeah well, they say travel heals a broken heart, so.

Hope you're right.

And my daughter's favorite show had a series finale

that left things grossly unresolved.

I'm Rusty.

Rusty?

After Rusty Hamer from the 1953 sitcom,

"Make Room For Daddy."

My parents overestimated its staying power.

I'm Aaron.

No, I know.

Oh, uh...

Sorry, I don't like to assume.

It's weird being recognized.

Can I just say,

Nate's a little bitch.

You're...

You're Rusty?

What are the odds, right?

My parents always said Rusty Hamer

was looking out for me, so.

So, Rusty.

Where you headed?

Aaron and Rusty are dating.

What?

See for yourself.

They're dating and they use bad filters.

Oh my.

So that's Rusty.

He has beautiful hair, no?

Like mine was back at UC Irvine.

I'll tell you the story...

Later.

Oh dear.

Um, not even a thank you?

You did good.

I did.

You smell good.

I know.