Original subtitles

Hey, that looks so nice.

But maybe not as important as polishing the silverware.

Just a little more gently.

On the right-hand side.

Just make sure there's no spots at all.

I can let you go.

Do the other ones, too, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Let her have it.

He didn't wanna fight.

He cursed the day that he was drafted.

But suddenly, here he was with a single purpose.

A mission.

He picked up his fallen comrade,

he slung him over his shoulder,

and he carried him across the battlefield.

And what he said to that medic

with tears in his eyes, he said,

"You must save him.

"His life is infinitely more valuable than ours."

I was weeping.

You can ask your mother, she'll tell you.

We had to cancel our dinner plans.

It's a good movie.

Battle of Vengeance is superb

and Aaron Rispoli-- Hold my hand.

Aaron Rispoli was the crowning achievement

and he was snubbed. All the websites said that.

Let's settle down.

Did you see Battle of Vengeance?

The first half.

He got that Indie Spirit Nomination, right?

I wrote a whole blog post about it.

Before we started dating?

You know I've seen his whole filmography.

I don't wanna brag

but I've spent intimate time with his IMDb.

So, when are you bringing him by the houses?

Oh, um, well I thought it was a little soon

to invite him to the big dinner.

It's not soon enough!

Oh, I'm gonna be so starstruck,

those big brown eyes.

Hey, does he ever pay the check,

or do you always go halfsies?

Oh, um, it's a little of both.

Wow.

My son and Aaron Rispoli.

When Ellen told me a few months back,

I was beside myself; I was so jealous.

Ew, Dad...

Well I'm just happy for you.

Your partner, your partner!, has an Indie Spirit Nomination

and beautiful skin.

That's all I ever wanted for my boy.

His skin's not that great.

Um, actually it is.

Luke, maybe if you'd watch the second half of

Battle of Vengeance you'd see

that the camera gets very close to this pores.

Oh my God.

And wait til you see the way he runs.

No it's him.

Who?

Tyler.

Did he follow us?

No Nate, he followed me.

This guy that Luke... from Instagram.

Oh, you know, it's great how you kids all stay connected.

Um, I'm really glad that you like Aaron,

because I do too.

I'm just so proud of you.

Oh and that reminds me, I have a surprise for you later.

No, Dad, you know I don't like surprises.

I know, I know, I should have told you about

your Sweet Sixteen.

Yeah, I hid in the dryer.

That's my son; so flexible.

Oh my God, oh my God!

Wait, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Making money, henny.

Why are you in New York?

Dance. Cocaine. Family.

Kay, um, I'm gonna need you to leave, actually.

But I'm working.

It's not a good time, okay?

Luke! Can you come in here for a sec?

Yeah--

Wait, tell me the truth.

Does this spray tan make me look morbidly obese?

Shit.

Which tablecloth for tonight,

the beige or the salmon?

Go with Beige.

This space could use some more masculinity.

Hey hey hey, look look look--

I will pay you whatever you were going to make for today,

Nate and I are sorta becoming a thing so,

fuckboys of yore can't be here.

Lukey, Yikes!

Don't furrow that brow, it's already so prominent.

And relax, I'm seeing someone else.

I'm sure.

Jessica. Stop eating the quiches.

Now gimme the plate, thank you. Move along.

I'm sorry.

- Five pounds, four pounds. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Don't eat cheese.

Darius is so attentive.

Are you going to tell him about us?

Tyler?

Your Dad!

He doesn't need to know!

Great. Now you're ashamed of me.

My my, how the tables have turned.

Wait, does that mean you were previously ashamed of me?

I'm sorry your weirdo dad doesn't fangirl over me.

I'm sorry he's not obsessed with my career.

My mom worships you, isn't one parent enough?

You know I was raised by a single mother!

I heard what that sounded like, I heard it...

You know what?

I want your whole family to get on board

if we're going to take this seriously.

Take what seriously?

If you and I are gonna do this!

Do what?!

Be together.

Hey Nathan, it's your neighbor Debbie.

Did you have a break in?

I saw that actor Aaron Rispo- Rispoli

enter and leave your apartment early this morning.

But you know him, don't you?

I mean, he's also a homo-- H-O-M-O esexual; homosexual.

He's also a homosexual.

Send.

Homosexual. I'm sure I spelled that right.

Crudité?

So I hear you and Luke met through the internet?

Oh, yeah, he really knows how to DM.

Nate's first boyfriend was from the internet,

face that could kill a ghost, but beautiful legs.

Oh, and how cute are Nate and Luke together?

I'm like obsessed with that.

Nate and...

They're like the next Ross and Rachel.

Or Rachel and Joey!

Ellen? Ellen!

Nathan. Google doesn't know if he's a homosexual

so it might not be break in, but I called

the police anyway. XOXO, Debbie.

Oh, Send.

I'm with Aaron!

Yeah? Yeah, where is he?

He's on location in Malibu.

And what about Rusty?

We broke up.

Because, Nathan, it's time we did this.

You and me.

Nathan, Aaron Rispoli's pictures are so adorable

that I just donated 100 dollars to the

Human Rights Campaign in his honor.

How do you turn off all caps?

Oh, by the way the police are searching your apartment.

Send. Ooh, where is it? Oh! Okay.

Nate! Honey are you okay?

Did you eat today?

Yeah he had a bagel with whitefish.

Did ya put tomatoes on it?

Why, were they bad?

No, it's just a delicious combination.

- Oh, can somebody get that.

Ellen, I...

It's okay, I'm good.

Well, I'm well.

Ellen!

What?

Hey, you remember how you said you loved surprises?

Well...

What did you do, Richard?

I might have snooped through your contacts and...

What did you do, Richard?

Uh, Hi everyone.

You forgot your scarf?

Oh my God, I'm engaged!

He said yes.

Babe, you got me Aaron Rispoli,

Aaron look! I'm engaged!

I'm gonna be so beautiful.

Nathan it's Debbie again

Did you know that Whoopi Goldberg's real name

is Caryn Johnson, with a 'C'.

Please call me! Send.