Original subtitles

You told my mom, I am gonna tell yours.

Hello?

Oh, uh, hi okay.

Nate, I'd know that stuttering anywhere.

No, um it's more of a stammer.

How are you sweet Nathaniel?

Is my Tribe behaving themselves?

Funny you should ask.

Thank you for taking them in for a few hours,

I needed to let my creativity

explore the space, you understand.

Uh, well I'm calling because Luke can't

keep his mouth shut and he took

it upon himself to tell my mom-

Oh, Ellen, so good of her to come to my show.

Did she tell you they called my

newest watercolors a cross between

Georgia O'Keeffe and Michelle Branch.

Oh okay, congrats Mrs.-

No "Mrs.", just Lenora.

Plain old Lenora.

Little old Lenora and her recent profile

in the Arts and Leisure section.

Yes, um Lenora, okay so anyways

the reason I'm calling is because

Luke took it upon himself to get my mom

alone in the kitchen and tell her all-

Yes darling?

Tell her all about what?

He just blurted out this stuff,

this really personal stuff.

Was there finally some penetration?

Uh.

Oh Nathaniel, I'm so glad.

You know intercourse, it's really about people,

and at their core people are just storytellers,

did you two climax?

You know actually I forgot that

it is Shabbat and the sun is going down

so I actually can't, I can't be on, alright.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh.

Hello?

Ellen.

Yes, this is she.

Hi this is Lenora returning your call.

Lenora, thanks so much for getting back to me.

Of course, I'm just here drinking

wine with the children, what can I do for you?

Well, I was actually wondering

if I could speak with Luke.

Oh we get this a lot, he's extremely sought after.

I just wanted to ask him a few questions.

Mom, I understand you're just trying to help

but honestly it's not even a big deal

and I think it'd be a more effective tactic

if you just hung up right now

and we watch The First Wives Club

because Diane Keaton gave a truly

remarkable performance, you know?

Luke, there's an adult woman

on the phone for you.

Hello?

Hi Luke, this is Nate's mom.

Uh?

Luke, it's my understanding that you think my son is gay?

Yes?

So is that any excuse to spread the rumor

that he's one of Brandy's back-up dancers?

Luke, may I ask you why you think my son is gay?

I don't know, he just acts like it.

And how does one "act" gay?

He talks like a girl!

I see.

Well as you know Luke, the voice changes during puberty.

Right after the areola darkens

and the testicles begin to grow.

This happens in stages and it's different for every boy.

So while Nate's voice hasn't changed,

his areolas are very dark.

Anything else?

All his friends are girls!

Hm, sounds like a lady's man to me.

Is someone jealous?

Now if you said that he only hangs out with boys

then maybe you'd have a case but that's not Nate.

No, he won't even go into a locker room.

That's right he underdresses his gym clothes

like in a quick change.

Not very gay now is he?

Whatever, can I go?

I know that deep down you are a good boy, Luke.

You are not a bully.

Yes he is!

He's a bully.

I'm really glad we had this little talk,

would you put your mom back on the phone please?

He said he feels awful

and he's very sorry.

Just finish your knitting.

Your father never approved of bullying.

Oh my God, we don't care!

He also never approved of western medicine.

That might be what killed him.

Young Lacy: Get over it!

So, Nate's not gay?

I think that's for Nate to tell us,

not for us to tell Nate.

Ellen, we've met before,

the spring musical last year, you were selling concessions?

And you were selling pashminas!

I remember you now.

Yes they're hand-painted,

but I believe our boys have more in common than they think.

How so?

The other night,

I caught Luke in a pair of my high heels.

I see.

He walked so well. No wobbling, no shuffling.

It was a very smooth gait.

Lenora, what are the chances that you'd like

to bring your family over for dinner one night?

We would love to have you.

Oh yes, yes.

Oh Ellen!

Lenora, all your kids are here.

Well I needed time to let my creativity explore the space.

Are you ready for Thursday?

Ready as ever.

I know you're catering,

but I will make my winter fruit salad just in case.

Oh um.

Nate just called to tell me

about his little tryst with Luke.

Oh dear.

Oh it's divine isn't it?

I'd see it as a series of four, no five watercolors.

Well, I don't know Lenora,

I mean they both have boyfriends and-

Luke has a boyfriend?

He tells me nothing.

A doctor!

Well, a med student, and they've been dating for a month.

Wonderful, then they're almost done.

And Nate is dating this big time actor who,

as I understand it, knows Laura Dern.

Laura Dern?

From "The Puppy Episode" of--

Ellen!

Yes, honey?

Are you out of those peel-off masks?

Nate, would you go help Luke, he's in the bath.

Lenora, are you still making those pashminas?

Make yourself at home.

Oh thank you.

I told your mom.

Told my mom what?

You know.

And how did Lenora take the news?

Have you no shame?

You know, this is a big tub.

You wanna get in?