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You told my mom, I am gonna tell yours.
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Hello?
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Oh, uh, hi okay.
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Nate, I'd know that stuttering anywhere.
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No, um it's more of a stammer.
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How are you sweet Nathaniel?
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Is my Tribe behaving themselves?
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Funny you should ask.
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Thank you for taking them in for a few hours,
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I needed to let my creativity
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explore the space, you understand.
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Uh, well I'm calling because Luke can't
13
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keep his mouth shut and he took
14
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it upon himself to tell my mom-
15
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Oh, Ellen, so good of her to come to my show.
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Did she tell you they called my
17
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newest watercolors a cross between
18
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Georgia O'Keeffe and Michelle Branch.
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Oh okay, congrats Mrs.-
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No "Mrs.", just Lenora.
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Plain old Lenora.
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Little old Lenora and her recent profile
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in the Arts and Leisure section.
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Yes, um Lenora, okay so anyways
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the reason I'm calling is because
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Luke took it upon himself to get my mom
27
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alone in the kitchen and tell her all-
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Yes darling?
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Tell her all about what?
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He just blurted out this stuff,
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this really personal stuff.
32
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Was there finally some penetration?
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Uh.
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Oh Nathaniel, I'm so glad.
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You know intercourse, it's really about people,
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and at their core people are just storytellers,
37
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did you two climax?
38
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You know actually I forgot that
39
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it is Shabbat and the sun is going down
40
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so I actually can't, I can't be on, alright.
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Oh, oh, oh.
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Oh.
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Hello?
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Ellen.
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Yes, this is she.
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Hi this is Lenora returning your call.
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Lenora, thanks so much for getting back to me.
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Of course, I'm just here drinking
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wine with the children, what can I do for you?
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Well, I was actually wondering
51
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if I could speak with Luke.
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Oh we get this a lot, he's extremely sought after.
53
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I just wanted to ask him a few questions.
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Mom, I understand you're just trying to help
55
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but honestly it's not even a big deal
56
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and I think it'd be a more effective tactic
57
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if you just hung up right now
58
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and we watch The First Wives Club
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because Diane Keaton gave a truly
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remarkable performance, you know?
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Luke, there's an adult woman
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on the phone for you.
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Hello?
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Hi Luke, this is Nate's mom.
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Uh?
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Luke, it's my understanding that you think my son is gay?
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Yes?
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So is that any excuse to spread the rumor
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that he's one of Brandy's back-up dancers?
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Luke, may I ask you why you think my son is gay?
71
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I don't know, he just acts like it.
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And how does one "act" gay?
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He talks like a girl!
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I see.
75
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Well as you know Luke, the voice changes during puberty.
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Right after the areola darkens
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and the testicles begin to grow.
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This happens in stages and it's different for every boy.
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So while Nate's voice hasn't changed,
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his areolas are very dark.
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Anything else?
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All his friends are girls!
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Hm, sounds like a lady's man to me.
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Is someone jealous?
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Now if you said that he only hangs out with boys
86
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then maybe you'd have a case but that's not Nate.
87
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No, he won't even go into a locker room.
88
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That's right he underdresses his gym clothes
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like in a quick change.
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Not very gay now is he?
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Whatever, can I go?
92
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I know that deep down you are a good boy, Luke.
93
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You are not a bully.
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Yes he is!
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He's a bully.
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I'm really glad we had this little talk,
97
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would you put your mom back on the phone please?
98
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He said he feels awful
99
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and he's very sorry.
100
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Just finish your knitting.
101
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Your father never approved of bullying.
102
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Oh my God, we don't care!
103
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He also never approved of western medicine.
104
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That might be what killed him.
105
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Young Lacy: Get over it!
106
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So, Nate's not gay?
107
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I think that's for Nate to tell us,
108
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not for us to tell Nate.
109
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Ellen, we've met before,
110
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the spring musical last year, you were selling concessions?
111
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And you were selling pashminas!
112
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I remember you now.
113
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Yes they're hand-painted,
114
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but I believe our boys have more in common than they think.
115
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How so?
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The other night,
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I caught Luke in a pair of my high heels.
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I see.
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He walked so well. No wobbling, no shuffling.
120
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It was a very smooth gait.
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Lenora, what are the chances that you'd like
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to bring your family over for dinner one night?
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We would love to have you.
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Oh yes, yes.
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Oh Ellen!
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Lenora, all your kids are here.
127
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Well I needed time to let my creativity explore the space.
128
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Are you ready for Thursday?
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Ready as ever.
130
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I know you're catering,
131
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but I will make my winter fruit salad just in case.
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Oh um.
133
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Nate just called to tell me
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about his little tryst with Luke.
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Oh dear.
136
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Oh it's divine isn't it?
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I'd see it as a series of four, no five watercolors.
138
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Well, I don't know Lenora,
139
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I mean they both have boyfriends and-
140
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Luke has a boyfriend?
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He tells me nothing.
142
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A doctor!
143
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Well, a med student, and they've been dating for a month.
144
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Wonderful, then they're almost done.
145
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And Nate is dating this big time actor who,
146
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as I understand it, knows Laura Dern.
147
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Laura Dern?
148
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From "The Puppy Episode" of--
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Ellen!
150
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Yes, honey?
151
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Are you out of those peel-off masks?
152
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Nate, would you go help Luke, he's in the bath.
153
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Lenora, are you still making those pashminas?
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Make yourself at home.
155
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Oh thank you.
156
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I told your mom.
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Told my mom what?
158
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You know.
159
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And how did Lenora take the news?
160
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Have you no shame?
161
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You know, this is a big tub.
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You wanna get in?
11130
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