Original subtitles

So, we're in the car, we're on our way back,

I'm thinking about getting a timeshare in Provincetown,

and then from out of the blue, Rusty goes,

"Is it bright outside or what?"

and I'm thinking, I don't know, check your weather app.

And then he's like,

"I'm talking about your sunglasses."

I'm like, oh, okay, jokes.

Put a pin in the timeshare, this is a moment.

And then he's like,

"I'm just kidding, I really like your sunglasses."

and that's when I realized,

wait a second, he's trying.

Exactly what Rafael Nadal did

when I took him home to meet Grandma Fifi.

She's timeless.

So then Rusty goes,

"Okay,

"shades, that's my final offer."

And that's when I realized this Rusty character

is a totally adorable, dad joke making,

brownie baking, amazing guy for Luke.

I mean, he has this huge heart.

He picked us up from the airport,

and I'm like, yes, Rusty, yes!

And it absolutely is not gonna last.

I mean, don't get me wrong, you know,

Luke could definitely benefit

from a - Doctor.

Right, and Rusty is hot in like a novelty kind of way

but I know my brother.

God, do I know my brother.

And he's not gonna stay with somebody

who does family medicine.

Ew. - Agree.

Right, I mean, if you're gonna be a doctor,

be a Doctor without Borders.

Be a Doctor Who.

Be a dermatologist, you know,

but Rusty, oh my God,

remind me to tell you this amazing story

from the Met Gala last year.

- When you - No, you know,

you completely know.

I mean, Luke will destroy a delicate boy like that.

Am I right?

Logan.

Doomed.

Uh, sure,

but, but

doomed, I mean, that, that feels a little dramatic.

It's not,

and I'm right about 96% of things.

- She is. - Mmm.

I don't know, I mean,

I was with him this morning and

I think they might be

oh my God I can't believe I'm saying this

a good match.

Like, in time, he might even make Luke... better.

You got me!

You almost got me! - Oh.

Oh God.

You want some?

Honey, I can finish up in here.

Why don't you go spend some time

with your siblings?

Lacy does Insta-live every day,

so honestly, I'm a little oversaturated

by her content and general presence.

Less is more, that's what I tell my interior decorator.

And Logan barely speaks.

He's impossible to talk to.

More is less, that's what I tell my personal trainer.

Hey, did you want me to wash these?

You are such a doll.

You know, if you weren't taken

and my son weren't dating that actor,

I would play Yente

and tell you boys to get together already.

- We had sex. - No we didn't.

- Me and Nate. - Honey, it's Nate and I.

Oh my God. - Look,

I figure you're gonna find out sooner or later,

so I'm just telling you myself.

It was back in LA before- - I knew it!

I knew it!

A mother always knows.

Well.

So it's like a shelter,

but they kill all the animals.

Hello beautiful people.

- Oh hey guys. - Katalina.

Luke's sister, Lacy. - Hello.

- Hi. - And his brother, Logan.

Oh.

- Katalina, was it? - It

was.

I mean, it is.

Hello, Katalina.

Kat.

Maybe Kitty Cat.

I like cats.

I'm allergic to cats.

- We don't like cats. - I like cats now.

Meow.

Does Aaron know?

Aaron knows nothing.

Like, about anything.

The guy has a private Instagram.

You put it on Instagram?

- No. - Oh good,

'cause I can never get those apps to work.

I'll teach you, I have a lot of followers.

Thank you so much,

but oh my God, Aaron doesn't know?

Luke, tell me something.

Was my son a good lover?

- Oh, Ellen! - What?

I worry.

Plus, it's not like I'm some kinda prude.

I mean, I had quite a time back at UC Irvine

before I met Richard.

Oh, I believe it.

You're a catch.

I tell you every day.

Man, I really dig havin' people here.

Good old fashioned piano party?

- No. - Yes!

And that's pretty much what happened.

- I just don't understand - Well,

the mechanics of gay sex.

Look, Ellen, let's,

let's keep this between us, okay?

And as far as Rusty goes, I get free prescriptions

when he graduates,

so I can't give that up.

I understand.

Yes!

Alright, let's uh,

maybe head back. - No, you know what,

I, you guys.

I need to hear some harmony. - Yes.

No, no, I'm not doing that.

- Come on, big brother. - I am younger than you.

What was the song that you sang

at your sixth grade talent show?

Oh, it was The Beatles.

- Maybe This Time? - From Cabaret.

Right.

Oh, we're, okay.

Let's do it.

Start us off, big brother.

I'm younger than him.

It's all you.

I got, okay, so.

May- it's not, I don't hear a key

or - It's, doesn't matter the key

you can hear the music. - I think it matters, the key.

- Just sing. - Okay, alright.

Ma - I'll give you a head gesture

Okay.

- Just jump in. - Yeah.

Ma, may-

okay, one, two, - One, two and a

three, four.

So, alright, I'm doing it.

I'm just vamping, so

you just come in whenever you want, it's like a jump rope.

It's a long vamp, you know?

And it's a, I'm missing,

it's so - The vamp is a vamp,

it just repeats.

And um,

Stop with the, the hands, the arms,

they're just getting in the way.

It's too much, it's like conducting, just sing.

It's, it's gotta

- No, that's the wrong part. - Got it.

You can't start in the middle.

- Open your eyes.

Start the song.

I know, I know this song.

Um, Michael Buble actually sang this to me backstage

at the Juno Awards, and I was like,

why are you so obsessed with me?

Ok, it's okay.

- I will sing the song. - I got it.

Buble.

I'm, you want me to play

um, hold on, louder, everyone.

Louder for Nate.

I got, may-

Was I, was I low? - Jesus Christ.

Then count me in!

- One, two! - Maybe this-

Nathan!

Your father's flying in tomorrow,

so I'm picking up Zabar's.

Do you like lox spread or tofu?

Um, either.

I'm just so proud of you, Nate.

To know that you're so versatile

with how you take your bagel.

Just as long as you're taking it

and then sometimes giving it

depending on who's taking it.

Look, as long as you're safe.

Because of bagel knives.

Very sharp.

Okay, so lox, tofu and chives.

Your father likes chives.

Me, I've never tried anal.

Chives! You misheard me, I said chives.

Okay, off to Zabar's.

You told her?!