Original subtitles

If you're horny and you can't find anyone, just, you know,

see what I'm up to.

Are you even attracted to me?

- Of course. - What do you mean of course?

You know we'd be terrible together, right?

I know, I find you very difficult.

I get really nervous on dates.

That's okay.

Not that I wanna assume this is a date.

This is a date.

Good.

Does one of you have something you'd like to ask me?

I always thought I was gonna die alone.

You won't.

Whoever kills you will be there too.

I missed you.

Hey Tyler put these on and give Luke and me

a second to talk.

These are not cute.

I've decided you should be my boyfriend.

- Whoa. - Also hi, how are you?

Literally all I do is listen to you whine.

You are a bad friend.

Act like an adult, stop mooching off your parents,

do something with your life.

Yeah yeah, says the guy who looks

at Instagram for a living.

I never should have let you stay here.

Yeah well, I'm gone in a week.

I want you out in the morning.

I shouldn't have to choose between my boyfriend

and my best friend, it's not fair, so please don't make me!

Say it again.

I miss you so much.

Am I breaking up with Aaron?

I'm getting transferred. My job.

What does that mean?

I'm moving to New York.

Wait, what?

Anxious?

No, never, no.

Maybe New York's changed him a little.

His hair is probably longer,

that's the only thing that's changed in five months

unless he cut it or got a real fun wash.

What's his family like?

Him, they're like him.

I'm gonna miss you.

Heh.

I said I'm gonna miss you.

Say it again.

Nate.

Oh no I mean I, I agree, I agree.

- You got everything you need? - Yeah.

Did you bring snacks and all that?

- Just headphones, pills. - Call me when you get in.

I'm gonna miss my flight.

Okay.

Oh my gosh, can I take a selfie?

Oh sure.

Thanks, thanks.

Yeah sure.

We had the cleaning crew come this morning

so everything should be all set.

Thanks, mom.

And you're sure it's okay I'm here the whole week?

Sweetheart, it's called the kid's apartment

because we got it for our kids.

Shoes off.

Anyway your father and I, and Eli, will be just one floor

or two floors or three floors below, so no stomping.

No but seriously I will be up here often.

Often?

Last I checked my son was in town for a whole week

and don't think you're too old to hug your mother

but let's hug later 'cause this is silk.

Anyway your brother will be up in a second

and he'll probably bring Katalina.

Uh, your nutritionist? Eli's--

Who am I to stand in the way

of your brother finding himself,

plus, think of the discount on vitamins.

Eli and Katalina, wow.

She also coming to the dinner on Thursday?

No, no, no, no.

Eli knows it's just for the two families.

Everything has been specifically portioned

by the caterer.

That's them, I wasn't talking too loud, was I?

Hi kids, shoes off Eli.

Hi Mommy. Sup, Nate?

Eli.

Glad to see you didn't die on the plane ride over.

I had my Xanax.

You remember Katalina.

- Hi. - Let's move into the kitchen.

Oh, Nate, watch this, Katalina, give us a health tip.

Make veggies your starch.

Incredible.

Thanks Ellen, I just love the work so much.

- And it shows. - Guess what we just did.

Eli, no.

We just had sex in the second floor library.

Eli!

Yes, Eli, that room is for books.

Sorry, who wants a protein shake?

I'm gonna make one, 'cause my muscles.

I'm good.

Okay.

So Nate, I feel like I haven't heard anything

about this Aaron, is it? Is that still a thing?

Very much so, yes.

He's way hotter than you.

All those Hollywood stars have work done, you know that.

He hasn't had any work done.

That you know of.

It's been six months, I think I would know.

Nate, you didn't tell me that this was serious.

Good for you Nate, a positive relationship

does wonders to suppress hunger.

So how come I haven't heard more about this Aaron?

'cause he's still Jonesin' for Luke.

Is that true, Nate?

No.

Are you still Jones for Luke?

Hey, weren't you guys living together

in the Sunshine State?

It's the Golden State.

Wow, proud much?

He was crashing at my place in Silver Lake for a bit.

I ran into Luke at his mother's art show last week

and he said he missed you.

I'm sure he said a lot of things.

Honey, are you sure that he's in the wrong?

You do have a tendency to hold grudges.

Sometimes you just have to spread

little Nutella guilt free.

I love that, yes Katalina, yes!

And I just adore Luke, he's so.

He's so charming.

Hey when you guys were living together

did you ever

I have a boyfriend!

I'm sorry, I...

You must be exhausted, honey.

All that travel.

Nah that's just his face.

Oh.

We will be downstairs in the main apartment.

I'll see you on Thursday, Nate.

Thursday?

The family dinner.

Oh, you invited Katalina!

I'll just have to call the caterer and order another plate

but yaaay!

Hello?

Guess who's in New York?

Is this?

Hello, Luke?

This is Nate.

Yeah uh, who is this.

Oh my god hi, I'm Rusty, I've heard so much about you!

You know what, actually, Luke just stepped in the shower

but if you can hang on a sec he'll be right out. Hey, babe?!

You're his-?

Uh, yeah, for about a month actually.

Wait, did he tell you about me?

No.

Oh God he's so bad at texting.

How did you meet?

Okay so get this, so he was wondering around the campus

at Columbia just, you know, looking for the 1 train

and I'm a med student there so--

You know, why don't you just tell Luke that I called,

thank you so much.

The doorman just let you up?

Like Henry could forget me.

Sure, sure.

Nathan.

Nate.

Judy.

What?