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1
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Aaaand it is night.
2
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Everyone, eyes closed, heads down.
3
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- I see you peeking!
- I see you peeking at me peeking!
4
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- No peeking!
- Fuck you.
5
00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:13,454
Now. If you're the Mafia,
6
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I need you to open your eyes,
7
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choose silently one person among you to kill.
8
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- Don't kill me, Mafia!
- This is so exciting!
9
00:00:23,374 --> 00:00:24,764
Everyone! Be quiet.
10
00:00:24,764 --> 00:00:27,598
- I'm too beautiful to die.
- Agree to disagree.
11
00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:32,336
Excuse me! The townspeople of Valerie Cherish Valley are supposed to be sleeping!
12
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,766
- Sorrryyy.
- Mafia, have you selected your kill?
13
00:00:35,814 --> 00:00:37,594
Okay. Eyes closed. Heads down.
14
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:42,610
Detective? Wake up, and choose one person among you to check,
15
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and I'll tell you whether or not they're the Mafia.
16
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Thank you, Detective, head down.
17
00:00:50,331 --> 00:00:52,654
Medic? Choose one person to save.
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Uh-huh. Thank you, Medic.
19
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Aaaand everybody wake up!
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Last night. While the good townspeople of Valerie Cherish Valley slept silently in their beds,
21
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There was a fire at the Old Mill!
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Oh my God was everyone okay?
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No, Alice. Somebody died. That's how this works.
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Can I guess who the Mafia is?
25
00:01:19,088 --> 00:01:21,469
- No, you're dead!
- Right, but Marcus died.
26
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Well, the group thought that Marcus was the Mafia,
27
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so the group voted Marcus out, and Marcus went home
28
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to spend some time with his "roommate."
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You, my dear, are very much still here, you are dead,
30
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and your eyes have been open the whole time!
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Right, so I have a really good guess.
32
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Okay, you know what? New rule! New rule.
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Anyone who's been killed is not allowed to speak.
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Oh! Right. Also, quick announcement: I bought a cookie cake for everyone,
35
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- Yes, Alice! -Yaaaas!
- So it'll be here in like thirty, forty-five minutes.
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Oh my God, I love cookie cake!
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- I don't eat.
- Okay, look!
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There was a fire at the Old Mill!
39
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And when the owner of the Mill saw his family business going under,
40
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He was, well he was so blinded with rage,
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that he shot his domestic partner point blank
42
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in the face!!
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- Noooo!
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- I'm sorry, Aaron, but you are dead.
45
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Yeah. So just go ahead and take your lifeless gay carcass and remove it from the circle.
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What was Aaron's role? Can we read his card?
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No! Alice! No! We cannot read cards!
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Well it has been an honor and a privilege, and I hope you catch the bastards who did this to me.
49
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- See ya!
- Bye!
- Bye!!
50
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Uh, there's some beer in the fridge.
51
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Thanks, Luke.
52
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If you wanted to grab me one.
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Hah.
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Why'd he have to be a domestic partner? He couldn't have been a husband?
55
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Because that's the story. Okay?
56
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They signed papers in a swing-state in the mid-nineties and they just never updated.
57
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How many Mafia are there?
58
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- Three.
- That's a lot.
59
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Okay! So. Are there any accusations?
60
00:02:59,537 --> 00:03:01,377
Um. I'm pretty sure it was Tabitha.
61
00:03:01,377 --> 00:03:03,843
- Why is it me?
- I mean you haven't said anything this whole time.
62
00:03:03,843 --> 00:03:06,619
I don't even know how to play this game. Like, this is my first time.
63
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:09,977
- You have your arms crossed.
- Oh my God look, her arms are totally crossed.
64
00:03:09,977 --> 00:03:12,634
That's because I'm nervous! Like, I don't know any of you, at all!
65
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- She's a newer friend.
- What about Paul?
66
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You were talking a lot during that night round like you were trying to distract us.
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You were talking a lot, too.
68
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Yeah but you're wearing that shirt.
69
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Okay. Look. You don't want to kill me.
70
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Only a Mafia would say that.
71
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It's just not a great shirt.
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I'm the Detective, you guys.
73
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- He's lying.
- I'm not lying.
- He's lying!
74
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If you kill me, you all will be making a big mistake!
75
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:36,498
Luke's right. That's such a Mafia thing to say.
76
00:03:46,817 --> 00:03:49,867
- Ugh. - Yes!
- Josh has a point!
- No. No!
77
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It's like you can't trust anyone anymore.
78
00:03:57,542 --> 00:04:00,512
Nathan! You having a party!
79
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- Uh, hi Debbie!
- I brought you a cheese plate.
80
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I think Paul is the Mafia. And I say that we all kill him,
81
00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:08,093
and put it on YouTube!
- Okay.
82
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Kill him! Kill her. Kill yourself.
83
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:17,272
Okay. Okay, everybody. Looks like we've got Tabitha and we've got Paul on the chopping block.
84
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Are there any other final accusations to be made?
85
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Luke.
86
00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:28,496
I'm sorry, honey, can you speak up? You whisper too much.
87
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Luke is the Mafia.
88
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,981
- No I'm not.
- Please. Look at him.
89
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,501
Nice try, Nate. I'm not the Mafia.
90
00:04:35,613 --> 00:04:39,267
He's lying. You can always tell when Luke is lying, 'cause it's every time he opens his mouth.
91
00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:42,614
Wow. Interesting tactic there, dickface.
92
00:04:42,614 --> 00:04:46,888
Listen. I'm kidding. I'm sorry. I'm totally kidding, but,
93
00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:50,594
but you turn over Luke's card and I will bet you a hundred bucks that it's an Ace.
94
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- Not the Mafia.
- Luke, hold on.
95
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Let Nate finish his accusation.
96
00:04:54,436 --> 00:04:57,737
I mean, who else would want to kill Aaron, huh? Just think about it.
97
00:04:59,437 --> 00:05:01,707
Wait, but everyone gets killed eventually, right?
98
00:05:01,707 --> 00:05:03,795
Unless, of course, the Mafia's the last one standing.
99
00:05:03,795 --> 00:05:07,975
I mean, Aaron's handsome, he's sweet, he's nice to me, of course Luke killed him.
100
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,765
- Nate...
- No I'm serious.
101
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I really, really like you.
102
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You don't tease me, or manipulate me, or make me feel like shit all the time.
103
00:05:18,387 --> 00:05:22,888
You listen to me. You, you, you laugh at my jokes. You know, he even cooks me breakfast.
104
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I hear he knows Laura Dern.
105
00:05:24,526 --> 00:05:28,136
So Luke killed him. 'Cause there was some fire at the Old Mill.
106
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And Luke is the Mafia, so just, let's kill him off.
107
00:05:33,312 --> 00:05:35,213
I kinda thought he was a townsperson.
108
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If I wanted to kill Aaron, he'd be dead the first round.
109
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Yeah! Wait.
110
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:42,421
I didn't do anything to your boring little boyfriend, okay?
111
00:05:42,421 --> 00:05:44,831
He's not boring. You are a bad friend.
112
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:50,115
Literally all I do is listen to you whine. Now you have a boyfriend, you're still whining.
113
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Act like an adult, stop mooching off your parents, do something with your life.
114
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Says the guy who looks at Instagram for a living.
115
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I have an actual job!
116
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Unlike you who doesn't contribute anything except anxiety and fun facts about Aaron.
117
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,188
Guess what? I don't give a shit about Aaron.
118
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- Awesome.
- I told you he killed him.
119
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:12,659
I'm sorry everyone. This is how Nate plays party games. He doesn't know any better.
120
00:06:12,659 --> 00:06:14,973
Turn over your card! We all know it's an Ace!
121
00:06:14,973 --> 00:06:17,033
Oh my God. Are you gonna be okay?
122
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:21,707
I mean were we ever really friends?!
123
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,949
You were always sort of a leech.
124
00:06:24,539 --> 00:06:27,285
I mean, you grab onto the first guy who looks in your direction.
125
00:06:27,285 --> 00:06:29,865
Right, because God forbid we're not all looking at you.
126
00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:32,415
I don't need you looking at me, Nate, just,
127
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remember that I exist!
128
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:37,176
Well guess what? Your feelings are not my priority!
129
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I KNOW!
130
00:06:42,446 --> 00:06:44,400
I never should have let you stay here.
131
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,880
Yeah, well, I'm gone in a week.
132
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,716
I want you out in the morning.
133
00:07:06,578 --> 00:07:08,118
Shall we vote?
11179
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