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1
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:07,599
Why is my shirt damp? Why?!
2
00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:11,075
Okay.
3
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,617
Wrinkle-prevent.
4
00:00:16,945 --> 00:00:19,725
Okay... Okay...
5
00:00:21,703 --> 00:00:23,233
Nate.
6
00:00:23,901 --> 00:00:25,401
Nathan.
7
00:00:26,184 --> 00:00:27,804
Judy.
- What?
8
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,465
I need you to caption this for me.
9
00:00:29,465 --> 00:00:30,747
No, I can't, I can't think right now.
10
00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:35,417
Come on, it's just a sentence! So it's not just my abs but my abs and something funny.
11
00:00:36,555 --> 00:00:39,785
āFor just fifty cents a day, you can sponsor a child like this one.ā
12
00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:41,939
- That's good.
- Well, ya know...
13
00:00:41,939 --> 00:00:43,869
Hey, I'm not gonna give you any credit on this, okay?
14
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:47,441
- Goddamnit...
15
00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:49,051
Fifty likes already.
16
00:00:49,051 --> 00:00:50,952
Luke, what do I do? He's gonna be here in like five minutes.
17
00:00:50,952 --> 00:00:54,909
Youāll be fine. Just be cute, order an appetizer.
18
00:00:54,909 --> 00:00:56,806
Do not tell him what you do for a living.
19
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,018
Well, yeah, I donāt do anything.
20
00:00:58,018 --> 00:01:01,340
Right, and no one wants to hear that your parents pay for this apartment.
21
00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:04,038
Or that you give back by tweeting about worthy causes.
22
00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:06,056
Ooh, Iāll tell him Iām in sales.
23
00:01:06,056 --> 00:01:07,786
Letās pick out a different shirt, okay?
24
00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:09,743
No, I have to wear this one.
25
00:01:09,743 --> 00:01:12,465
Why? All your shirts look exactly the same.
26
00:01:12,465 --> 00:01:16,435
Seriously Nate, going shopping with you is like the least interesting part of my life.
27
00:01:16,435 --> 00:01:19,382
Well Iām not you, I canāt just put on a tank top and call it a night.
28
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:23,132
First off, I never wear tank tops on dates, and second, when I do-
29
00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:24,686
I never call it āa night.ā
30
00:01:24,686 --> 00:01:26,398
Sure. Sure.
31
00:01:26,398 --> 00:01:30,495
So who is this guy? Another sad person on Grindr?
32
00:01:30,495 --> 00:01:34,220
No, Iāve only ever been on one Grindr date and it was a total disaster.
33
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,336
What happened?
34
00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:37,597
I always get nervous on dates. Not that I want to assume this is date.
35
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,738
But you know when you meet a guy and youāre like, is this the person Iāll spend the rest of my life with,
36
00:01:40,738 --> 00:01:44,498
like do I have strong and true feelings for him, or is he just passing through on our never-ending quest toward fulfillment,
37
00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:47,230
and you never really know until you connect and share something deep and meaningful,
38
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:49,063
and then youāre thinking, is this a date, is this not a date-
39
00:01:49,063 --> 00:01:52,811
- It's not a date.
- Yah- yah- Yes! I mean. Thatās what I was gonna say! This is definitely not a date,
40
00:01:52,811 --> 00:01:55,273
and I definitely don't have feelings for you- do you want some Kombucha?
41
00:01:55,273 --> 00:01:56,874
Why are you like this?
42
00:01:56,874 --> 00:02:01,804
Itās not on purpose! But this new guy, I met him at a coffee shop, he was behind me in line, and we started talking,
43
00:02:01,804 --> 00:02:05,497
and then he um, he friended me on Facebook, and... now weāre going to dinner.
44
00:02:05,497 --> 00:02:09,165
- Aww.
- And heās gonna be here any minute, and my shirt is not even dry, so-
45
00:02:09,165 --> 00:02:12,490
Why donāt we find you another shirt? Okay?
46
00:02:15,816 --> 00:02:16,986
Hmm...
47
00:02:17,993 --> 00:02:20,613
Here. Put this on.
48
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:22,494
Okay.
49
00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:25,364
Want to hear about the worst date I ever went on?
50
00:02:26,044 --> 00:02:27,252
Okay?
51
00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:30,526
I want you to say something for me.
52
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,856
Yeah? What do you want?
53
00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:37,171
Itās a little, uh. Itās a little out there.
54
00:02:37,171 --> 00:02:38,551
Thatās okay.
55
00:02:40,032 --> 00:02:43,042
Squeal like a dolphin for me.
56
00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:47,536
Yeah... Yeah, sure...
57
00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:50,839
NA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AY!
58
00:02:51,389 --> 00:02:54,247
NA-A-A-A-A-A-AY!
59
00:02:54,247 --> 00:02:55,327
A-A-A...
60
00:02:56,296 --> 00:02:57,516
eh-eh-eh-eh...
61
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,996
Whatās, whatās wrong?
62
00:03:02,296 --> 00:03:07,096
Nothing, it's cool, Iām just like super sleepy all of a sudden.
63
00:03:07,214 --> 00:03:11,025
Are you serious? I just squealed like a fucking dolphin!
64
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:15,495
Yeah well, it sounded like a horse. Do you honestly not know the difference between a horse and a dolphin?!
65
00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:20,383
Give me some wiggle room, you know? Nate, youāre not even listening to me.
66
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:22,536
Oh, sorry, heās gonna be here in a minute.
67
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,596
Whatās his name?
68
00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:27,132
Well, his name is Aaron but on Facebook it just says āAaron From the Block.ā
69
00:03:27,132 --> 00:03:31,172
What. Show me his Facebook immediately.
70
00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,406
- Wait, what?!
- What?
71
00:03:38,406 --> 00:03:40,330
- Thatās the kid from the movie!
- What movie?
72
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,617
Heās like, a big deal! He worked with Laura Dern!
73
00:03:42,617 --> 00:03:44,436
- He did?
- Yeah.
74
00:03:44,436 --> 00:03:46,876
Nate, Iām impressed.
75
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:50,086
Oh no, oh God, I promised myself I woudnāt date actors in LA.
76
00:03:50,086 --> 00:03:52,945
Wait, are people going to be like stopping him on the street? Is he like, famous?
77
00:03:52,945 --> 00:03:57,003
Whatās wrong with you?! If you guys start dating for real, you could meet Ms. Dern!
78
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,658
- Iām not ready for that!
- Get ready!
79
00:04:14,058 --> 00:04:16,358
- Hiii.
- Heeeeey!
80
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:19,775
- Good to see you!
- Thanks for picking me up.
81
00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:22,285
At your service, mālady...
82
00:04:22,466 --> 00:04:27,006
Oh, God, Iām so sorry. I get really nervous on dates.
83
00:04:27,006 --> 00:04:29,091
- That's okay!
- Not that I want to assume this is date.
84
00:04:29,091 --> 00:04:31,791
No - Itās... This is a date.
85
00:04:32,911 --> 00:04:35,470
Good. Uh, you ready?
86
00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:37,920
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
- Okay.
87
00:04:41,131 --> 00:04:43,431
- Hey, I like your shirt.
- Oh, thank you!
7236
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