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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,610 --> 00:00:06,470 Wait. When was the first time you guys ever googled yourself? Alice, you go first. 2 00:00:06,775 --> 00:00:09,165 Umm, like... two years ago? 3 00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:10,363 That's it? 4 00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:12,831 Yeah I'm not like a social media person like you. 5 00:00:12,831 --> 00:00:15,344 Luke has too many followers. It's very upsetting. 6 00:00:15,344 --> 00:00:18,194 That's your thing that you're gonna have to deal with. 7 00:00:18,439 --> 00:00:20,163 What do you do? Do you like take pictures? 8 00:00:20,163 --> 00:00:21,986 Other people take the pictures, I fix them up. 9 00:00:21,986 --> 00:00:24,806 Luke edits stock photos that are then sold to media websites. 10 00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:27,429 Men shaking hands, women eating yogurt... 11 00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:30,593 That's amazing. You guys are amazing. 12 00:00:30,593 --> 00:00:31,453 Aw, babe. 13 00:00:31,453 --> 00:00:32,658 Okay, so, two years ago: 14 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:37,708 Yes! Okay. So. I went on this Tinder date with this guy. And when we sat down at the restauraunt, 15 00:00:37,708 --> 00:00:42,192 he leans over and he says to me, well he kind of whispered it, actually? 16 00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:44,972 He says, "I know all about YOU." 17 00:00:45,452 --> 00:00:48,947 And I was like what does that even mean?! And then he tells me that he Googled me, and I was like, 18 00:00:48,947 --> 00:00:50,582 I did not tell you you could do that! 19 00:00:50,582 --> 00:00:52,611 - Well... - But I did tell him stuff on the app, you know? 20 00:00:52,611 --> 00:00:55,970 Enough that he could figure out that I worked at the ACLU, 21 00:00:55,970 --> 00:01:00,080 He pulled up my Yelp reviews, and he even knew my middle school volley ball stats, 22 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,321 which are really good, but it's just creepin' me out, you know? 23 00:01:04,321 --> 00:01:08,631 Is it creepy, though? I mean, I Google search every guy I ever meet. 24 00:01:09,021 --> 00:01:09,923 Why?! 25 00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:13,795 It's called a background check. I have standards. I need to vet them. 26 00:01:13,795 --> 00:01:14,592 That's true. 27 00:01:14,592 --> 00:01:20,912 So I went home and Googled myself for the first time. It was like, I didn't recognize that girl. 28 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,357 Why, who was she? 29 00:01:23,357 --> 00:01:24,393 Well, it was me. 30 00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:25,925 Like, the angle was too low, or...? 31 00:01:25,925 --> 00:01:26,765 Luke. 32 00:01:26,765 --> 00:01:32,619 No, that person wasn't the person that ten year old Alice would be proud of, you know? 33 00:01:32,619 --> 00:01:34,721 So that's when I knew I needed to make a change. 34 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:39,754 I quit the ACLU, I went on a month-long hike on the Pacific Crest Trail, 35 00:01:39,754 --> 00:01:43,504 got home, applied to medical school, didn't get in, 36 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,274 and I've been selling prescription drugs ever since. 37 00:01:46,487 --> 00:01:48,411 - That's... - Wow. 38 00:01:48,411 --> 00:01:52,129 Yeah. Best date of my life, if you know what I mean. 39 00:01:52,909 --> 00:01:55,628 What about you guys? - What about us? 40 00:01:55,628 --> 00:01:57,538 Nate, are you dating anyone? 41 00:01:57,538 --> 00:02:00,566 - No! - Why not? You're so cute! 42 00:02:00,566 --> 00:02:04,247 Yeah I'm cute, I'm not, I'm not, like I'm not, you know... 43 00:02:04,247 --> 00:02:07,388 - Do you need a xanax to finish that sentence, babe? - Oh I have some. 44 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,247 What, I mean, what about you? Are you dating? 45 00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:12,400 I guess it kinda depends on what you mean by dating. 46 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,374 - What about the guy? - What guy? 47 00:02:14,374 --> 00:02:16,107 The, the Tinder guy. From your story. 48 00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:22,711 Oh yeah. Well I actually I texted him, like six months later, I guess to thank him, and the text didn't go through, 49 00:02:22,711 --> 00:02:25,791 so actually, I Googled him, and it turns that... 50 00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:28,645 He died. 51 00:02:33,434 --> 00:02:35,789 - Can I get anyone some water? - Ooh yeah. 52 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,834 - What's that? 53 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,534 - It's a cat. - I know it's a cat. 54 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,889 Then why'd you ask? 55 00:02:40,889 --> 00:02:42,526 Yeah just ignore it, we get alley cats. 56 00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:43,441 You don't have alleys. 57 00:02:43,441 --> 00:02:46,841 No, they walks across the streets, I have to slam on the breaks, we get cats. 58 00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:48,920 Okay. 59 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:54,160 Oh shit. 60 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,170 What? 61 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,446 - It's stuck under the trash bin. - Oh no. 62 00:02:57,579 --> 00:02:59,844 Its tail is all cut up in the wheel. 63 00:02:59,844 --> 00:03:01,215 Is it dead?! 64 00:03:02,993 --> 00:03:04,513 I'll call animal control. 65 00:03:04,513 --> 00:03:06,043 - Sure. - Yeah. 66 00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:12,505 So are you watching any good TV shows? 67 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:13,894 It's gonna die if it stays there. 68 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,262 You know, Luke's calling, they'll come, and- 69 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:17,711 No, they won't get here in time! 70 00:03:17,711 --> 00:03:19,030 I'm sure it's gonna be fine. 71 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,558 No it's not! I think it's really hurt! 72 00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:22,168 I think you smoked too much weed. 73 00:03:23,446 --> 00:03:26,606 You. You have to do it. 74 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,662 What? 75 00:03:27,662 --> 00:03:29,372 You have to save the cat. 76 00:03:29,592 --> 00:03:30,792 Why me? 77 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,078 It's your apartment. 78 00:03:36,394 --> 00:03:37,868 I'm not going down there. 79 00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:38,968 Well we'll have to do something! 80 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,584 - What?! - Uh, think! 81 00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:41,370 Uh, if, if I- 82 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,820 No, not my cat. I don't know whose cat! 83 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,632 What if I, what if I throw something at it? 84 00:03:46,632 --> 00:03:48,569 - At the cat?! - No, at the trashbin! 85 00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:51,661 If I throw something, hit the trashbin, I can knock it over, free the cat! 86 00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:52,731 We're all very worried. 87 00:03:52,731 --> 00:03:54,615 - Okay, what are you gonna throw? - My shoe! 88 00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:55,957 Are you sure? Just dont hurt it! 89 00:03:55,957 --> 00:03:56,771 I'm not going to! 90 00:03:56,771 --> 00:03:57,849 Left on Sunset... 91 00:03:57,849 --> 00:03:59,187 - Okay- - Oh my God okay- 92 00:03:59,187 --> 00:04:00,397 I'm gonna do this... 93 00:04:00,397 --> 00:04:01,296 Aaah!! 94 00:04:05,783 --> 00:04:08,833 Did you just... save a cat? 95 00:04:09,254 --> 00:04:10,304 Yeah. 96 00:04:11,179 --> 00:04:15,059 Uh... We're good... actually. 97 00:04:25,073 --> 00:04:29,263 You did it. You have to get your shoe but you did it. 98 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,645 So the first time I Googled myself... 7560

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