Original subtitles

Wait. When was the first time you guys ever googled yourself? Alice, you go first.

Umm, like... two years ago?

That's it?

Yeah I'm not like a social media person like you.

Luke has too many followers. It's very upsetting.

That's your thing that you're gonna have to deal with.

What do you do? Do you like take pictures?

Other people take the pictures, I fix them up.

Luke edits stock photos that are then sold to media websites.

Men shaking hands, women eating yogurt...

That's amazing. You guys are amazing.

Aw, babe.

Okay, so, two years ago:

Yes! Okay. So. I went on this Tinder date with this guy. And when we sat down at the restauraunt,

he leans over and he says to me, well he kind of whispered it, actually?

He says, "I know all about YOU."

And I was like what does that even mean?! And then he tells me that he Googled me, and I was like,

I did not tell you you could do that!

- Well... - But I did tell him stuff on the app, you know?

Enough that he could figure out that I worked at the ACLU,

He pulled up my Yelp reviews, and he even knew my middle school volley ball stats,

which are really good, but it's just creepin' me out, you know?

Is it creepy, though? I mean, I Google search every guy I ever meet.

Why?!

It's called a background check. I have standards. I need to vet them.

That's true.

So I went home and Googled myself for the first time. It was like, I didn't recognize that girl.

Why, who was she?

Well, it was me.

Like, the angle was too low, or...?

Luke.

No, that person wasn't the person that ten year old Alice would be proud of, you know?

So that's when I knew I needed to make a change.

I quit the ACLU, I went on a month-long hike on the Pacific Crest Trail,

got home, applied to medical school, didn't get in,

and I've been selling prescription drugs ever since.

- That's... - Wow.

Yeah. Best date of my life, if you know what I mean.

What about you guys? - What about us?

Nate, are you dating anyone?

- No! - Why not? You're so cute!

Yeah I'm cute, I'm not, I'm not, like I'm not, you know...

- Do you need a xanax to finish that sentence, babe? - Oh I have some.

What, I mean, what about you? Are you dating?

I guess it kinda depends on what you mean by dating.

- What about the guy? - What guy?

The, the Tinder guy. From your story.

Oh yeah. Well I actually I texted him, like six months later, I guess to thank him, and the text didn't go through,

so actually, I Googled him, and it turns that...

He died.

- Can I get anyone some water? - Ooh yeah.

- What's that?

- It's a cat. - I know it's a cat.

Then why'd you ask?

Yeah just ignore it, we get alley cats.

You don't have alleys.

No, they walks across the streets, I have to slam on the breaks, we get cats.

Okay.

Oh shit.

What?

- It's stuck under the trash bin. - Oh no.

Its tail is all cut up in the wheel.

Is it dead?!

I'll call animal control.

- Sure. - Yeah.

So are you watching any good TV shows?

It's gonna die if it stays there.

You know, Luke's calling, they'll come, and-

No, they won't get here in time!

I'm sure it's gonna be fine.

No it's not! I think it's really hurt!

I think you smoked too much weed.

You. You have to do it.

What?

You have to save the cat.

Why me?

It's your apartment.

I'm not going down there.

Well we'll have to do something!

- What?! - Uh, think!

Uh, if, if I-

No, not my cat. I don't know whose cat!

What if I, what if I throw something at it?

- At the cat?! - No, at the trashbin!

If I throw something, hit the trashbin, I can knock it over, free the cat!

We're all very worried.

- Okay, what are you gonna throw? - My shoe!

Are you sure? Just dont hurt it!

I'm not going to!

Left on Sunset...

- Okay- - Oh my God okay-

I'm gonna do this...

Aaah!!

Did you just... save a cat?

Yeah.

Uh... We're good... actually.

You did it. You have to get your shoe but you did it.

So the first time I Googled myself...