Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,096 --> 00:00:09,225
Thought you'd like that.
2
00:00:09,225 --> 00:00:10,637
- Oh God!
- I know
3
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:13,943
"Exciting news coming soon, can't wait to share!"
4
00:00:13,943 --> 00:00:15,293
Why is he shirtless?
5
00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:17,213
That's how you celebrate good news, apparently.
6
00:00:17,213 --> 00:00:18,645
Ugh, I have to unfollow him.
7
00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:20,751
No! Who will send me screenshots of these things?
8
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:21,978
Wait, you don't follow him?
9
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,334
I can't give him that power.
10
00:00:23,334 --> 00:00:25,384
You're afraid he's not gonna follow you back.
11
00:00:28,956 --> 00:00:31,229
Mm, he has a lot of followers.
12
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:33,109
- I have a lot of follow-
- How many do you have?
13
00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:35,087
- I don't...
- You know the number.
14
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,807
64,800-and...
15
00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:41,110
- Jesus Christ!
- 43, give or take.
16
00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:44,660
I mean, I don't get it, I tweet witty th- like... jokes and,
17
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:50,360
and on instagram, too, I post really funny, sometimes very insightful photos,
18
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:55,010
and nobody even, nobody even cares, you know? You just post shirtless pictures of yourself.
19
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:56,990
But like, why is this hard for you to understand?
20
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,503
I have been doing Zumba every day for a month and nothing has changed.
21
00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:01,344
- Wait, really?
- Yeah, I have the DVDs.
22
00:01:01,344 --> 00:01:02,968
You still have a DVD player.
23
00:01:02,968 --> 00:01:05,479
- I exercise every-
- "Exercise."
24
00:01:05,479 --> 00:01:07,066
I work out every morning.
25
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,046
And then what do you eat?
26
00:01:08,046 --> 00:01:09,012
Bagel and cream cheese.
27
00:01:09,012 --> 00:01:12,149
You know, you'd have a lot more followers if you weren't so accessible.
28
00:01:12,149 --> 00:01:15,052
- I am not SO accessible.
- You're on Grindr.
29
00:01:15,052 --> 00:01:16,652
- Everybody's on Grindr.
- I'm not!
30
00:01:17,029 --> 00:01:20,769
You know, I'm not as traditionally handsome as you, so it's not as easy for me-
31
00:01:20,769 --> 00:01:23,126
- Fuck you, you're adorable.
- Oh God.
32
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,288
You've got your witty tweets.
33
00:01:24,288 --> 00:01:26,320
Okay, so, that, is that my "brand"?
34
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,560
Look, just, get off Grindr, okay? Please?
35
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,310
If you're horny and you can't find anyone, just, you know...
36
00:01:33,654 --> 00:01:35,154
See what I'm up to.
37
00:01:35,582 --> 00:01:39,917
Oh please, I don't want my friend to take pity on me, I just want to actually be wanted.
38
00:01:39,917 --> 00:01:42,947
And... you're not even serious.
39
00:01:43,544 --> 00:01:45,254
Yes I am.
40
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,387
What about Tyler?
41
00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:54,991
What about him? We had like, a date.
42
00:01:55,192 --> 00:01:56,722
Yeah. And how was it?
43
00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:58,288
Good. We went to the pier.
44
00:01:58,288 --> 00:01:59,428
And was it fun?
45
00:01:59,428 --> 00:02:01,052
Parts of it.
46
00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:05,809
But how would we like...
47
00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:07,682
I mean, because this would be awkward, right?
48
00:02:08,118 --> 00:02:11,207
I think that's on you, actually. I'm pretty sure I can handle it.
49
00:02:11,207 --> 00:02:12,467
What if it's really bad?
50
00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,096
Then we laugh about it.
51
00:02:14,096 --> 00:02:15,826
And what if it's like...
52
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,570
...nice?
53
00:02:21,237 --> 00:02:23,147
Oh well, right?
54
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:29,513
Okay, hold on a second, um, alright, I mean, are like, are you like,
55
00:02:29,513 --> 00:02:31,123
are you even attracted to me?
56
00:02:31,123 --> 00:02:33,461
- Of course!
- What do you mean "of course"?
57
00:02:33,461 --> 00:02:35,686
I wouldn't have suggested this, Nathan.
58
00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:37,416
Nathan? You don't-
59
00:02:37,506 --> 00:02:39,505
Where are you going? Come on!
60
00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:43,135
Don't be such a boob, I'm just being silly!
61
00:02:51,073 --> 00:02:54,663
- Oh. "What do I wanna do to you?"
- Shhh!
62
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,874
Okay. Alright.
63
00:03:08,848 --> 00:03:13,238
Oh my... Huhh uhhh...
64
00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:19,290
- Is that a no, or?
- No, that's not, that's not, it's like a, it's um...
65
00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:22,990
It's a maybe.
66
00:03:24,295 --> 00:03:25,625
Come here.
67
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,934
- I just had a bagel today.
- I don't care.
68
00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:30,464
- And toast.
- Get over here.
69
00:03:39,638 --> 00:03:43,318
- No, no, sorry, no, this is...
- Nate!
70
00:03:44,595 --> 00:03:46,545
- What...
- I'm not...
71
00:03:54,299 --> 00:03:56,219
What are you doing?
72
00:04:00,496 --> 00:04:02,118
Like a week ago!
73
00:04:06,544 --> 00:04:09,143
Yeah, for everything, yes, not just HIV.
74
00:04:09,143 --> 00:04:12,283
Nate, come on, stop. Get over here!
75
00:04:31,141 --> 00:04:33,781
- Holy shit.
- What?
76
00:04:33,781 --> 00:04:36,825
- Melissa Joan Hart just followed me on Twitter.
- What, what?
77
00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:38,179
"Clarissa Explains It All"?
78
00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:39,799
No, I, I mean, I know who she is.
79
00:04:39,799 --> 00:04:43,777
So random, right? Like, I've always felt sort of connected to her, you know?
80
00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:47,246
Like, on TV, growing up, watching her on TV, I've just like,
81
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,893
always wanted her to be my friend, and here she is asking to be MY friend.
82
00:04:51,344 --> 00:04:53,622
I mean I guess I thought we were gonna have sex, so.
83
00:04:53,622 --> 00:04:57,502
Nate. It's Sabrina the Teenage Witch. We'll hook up another time!
84
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,880
"Just got cockblocked by a 90s sitcom star."
85
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,261
That's funny. I'll retweet it.
86
00:05:11,221 --> 00:05:12,671
Thanks.
6552
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof