Original subtitles

[theme music]

Morning, Howie.

I'm sorry, Mr. Zelinka.

That's quite all right, Mr. Davis.

Next Olympics, you've got 100 meter gold for sure.

But for now, practice on the track.

What dedication.

Still rehearsing "Romeo and Juliet."

And we finished that play a month ago.

That Mr. Zelinka certainly is a character, isn't he?

I wish all my teachers were characters like him.

He's terrific.

[whistling]

Well, second day on the job and you're

still in good spirits.

Well, we always whistle while we work.

No sooner will it dry and they'll have

it covered with graffiti again.

Well, I hope so.

Otherwise we're going to be out of a job.

A man with a sense of humor about his work is a rarity.

I admire your attitude, Jonathan.

The feeling is mutual, Mr. Zelinka.

Excuse me, Mr. Zelinka.

Is that a hairstyle, Miss Wilson, or an affliction?

[sighs]

Amazing the length young people will

go to, to upset their parents.

What a zinger.

I mean, no wonder they call him Ivan the Terrible.

The kids wouldn't want him any other way.

They love him.

Well, I spent last night grading your test papers.

Give you some idea of what an exciting evening I had.

[chuckling]

Especially some of the answers you gave me.

Times I wonder what you do here in class.

So do we.

[laughter]

Jerry Michaels, we can always depend

on you for a bit of levity.

And in your test paper.

For your information, Mr. Michaels, "Death of a Salesman"

is a play, a great play.

Then it was made into a movie and adapted for television.

But it was not--

and I hope to God never will be--

a music video.

[laughter]

Miss Morris and Miss Lindstrom, would you

be so kind just to pass out these test papers for me?

Yeah.

Special delivery.

Oh, does that mean you want to play post office with me?

Sorry, I only handle first class mail.

[bell ringing]

If there are any questions regarding your test scores,

see me after class.

Class dismissed.

F?

I don't deserve an F.

Well, I agree with you, Jerry.

Unfortunately, that's as low as I can go.

Well, I don't think I should fail.

Why don't you grade on a curve, like my other teachers do?

Oh, I refuse to do that.

Grading on a curve is an excuse for an entire class

to fail together, getting kids through school

without teaching them anything.

You've just got it in for me.

You're always on me.

Because I know you're bright, but you

just won't apply yourself.

You waste your time playing the class clown.

You can't go around blaming everyone

else because you're not taking responsibility for your life.

Oh, wait a minute, Howie.

I want to talk to you.

Oh, yes, sir?

Another A, Howie.

Congratulations.

Well, thank you, sir.

But I'm still not hearing enough from you in class.

How come?

I guess I just don't feel comfortable standing

in front of other people.

I get nervous.

I understand, but try anyway.

That's the way to get over nervousness.

Besides, I want the others to hear some of your ideas.

You write so well in your tests.

Well, thanks.

I'll try.

And the main thing, you didn't do your homework again.

Why not?

I-- I don't know.

I'll do it tomorrow.

Well, you keep saying tomorrow, but you don't do it.

Why not?

I don't know.

Howie, you write so well on these tests.

What do I have to do to motivate you to do your homework?

I know.

Can be boring, but later in life you'll have a job,

and some parts of that may be boring,

and you'll have to do them anyway.

You see, doing homework is good training.

It teaches us responsibility.

Even Jerry Michaels does some homework once in a while.

OK, sir.

I-- I promise I'll do it.

If you don't, no matter how good your test scores are,

I'll have to flunk you.

I know.

There you go.

And make sure your parents sign it.

Susie, here's the activity schedule.

It looks like Thursday, lecture hall is booked.

Is there some way we could get in an hour in there somehow?

Morning? Or Wednesday.

It looks free on Wednesday. - Well, how about lunch?

Is it free during lunch?

Oh, yeah.

We you take your lunch hour?

Well, we really need to get in there that day.

Oh, I see you got a retirement notice from the Board

of Education, too, Mr. Zelinka.

Have you been steaming open my mail again, Miss Minotti?

Mr. Zelinka, no!

I just received the same notice myself from the board.

Why, I'm turning 70 this month.

Just like you.

Happy birthday.

Thank you!

Same to you.

Oh, I'm looking forward to retiring.

I'm going to travel around the world.

What about you?

Have you made any plans?

Hmm?

No, no.

I-- I knew it was coming, but not this soon.

I-- I guess I was trying not to think about it.

Well, you can't fight City Hall.

Mr. Zelinka can't retire.

He's my favorite teacher.

He was my favorite teacher when I was a student here, too.

He still is.

Lincoln's not going to be the same without him.

I'm really going to miss him.

We all are.

And they're going to retire him at the end of the semester.

No more Mr. Zelinka.

I'm not so sure I'm going to miss him.

Ivan the Terrible is always on me about responsibility.

Hey, come on.

You're lucky to have a teacher like Mr. Z. He cares.

We should do something nice for him.

You mean, like buy him a present?

Yeah.

And how about a surprise retirement party?

Hey, now that's a really great idea.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, yeah.

He'd like that.

Yeah, I could be the MC.

Yeah, and you could ruin it all with your dumb jokes.

Where do you think we should try to have it?

Excuse me.

I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.

I thought you might want to know it's Mr. Zelinka's birthday

this Friday.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Well, all right, then.

Friday it is.

Hey, we'd be glad to help you in any way we can.

Thanks.

We could use all the help we can get.

We really want to make this a great party.

We've got to show Mr. Z how much we appreciate

all he's done for us.

Let's make this a retirement party

he's never going to forget.

Yes.

This is Ivan Zelinka of Lincoln High.

Fine, fine.

Oh, he's fine.

About this retirement notice you sent me.

Thank you very much, but you see, I'm not ready to retire.

Yes, I'll be 70 in a couple of weeks, but I don't feel it.

I-- I don't think I look it.

And I-- yes, I know about the rules,

the retirement age for state employees.

But isn't there some kind of an extension I can get?

Some sort of an appeal I could file?

A letter?

You don't think it would do any good, eh?

Yeah, I understand.

Rules are rules.

All right.

Thank you very much.

Oh, Mr. Carlyle.

Could I speak to you for a moment?

Well, I'm late for a PTA meeting.

What is it?

It's about that retirement notice I received

from the Board of Education.

Yes, I heard about it.

Congratulations.

Well, thank you.

But you see, I don't want to retire.

ROGER CARLYLE: You don't?

Why not?

Because I like teaching.

I think I still have a lot to give.

And I thought if you could back me with the board,

maybe they'd let me stay on a little longer.

Ivan, that is so altruistic and noble, so like You

but you've been teaching for 50 years!

Why don't you relax?

Take a nice long trip like Mrs. Minotti.

Oh, Roger, I--

I'd love to talk to you about your plans sometime.

Right now I'm late for that PTA meeting.

Nothing like parents who've been kept waiting by the principal.

Good luck to you, old boy.

Fill me in.

So--

Yeah?

--we decided to have it in the gym.

Yeah, we're going to hang up streamers and balloons,

make it look really nice.

That's great.

Sounds you got it all worked out.

Except for one minor detail.

What's that?

How to get Mr. Zelinka there.

That's where we need your help.

Well, he's been talking a lot about that Shakespeare Festival

they're having in the park that night.

I could say I got two tickets for it.

Yeah, that's a great idea.

He loves Shakespeare.

And that I forgot the tickets in my gym locker.

And there we are.

Great.

You know, you're really sneaky.

Have you ever worked for the CIA?

[laughter]

Hey, everybody, they're here!

Everybody hide!

Come on!

(SINGING) For he's a jolly good fellow,

for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good

fellow, which nobody can deny!

[cheering]

Look.

Mr. Zelinka.

71 candles, one for good luck for your retirement.

Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech!

Thank you.

Thank you.

I know you all meant well, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness,

but you see, I don't want to retire.

To what?

This school, teaching has been my whole life.

And why should I and a lot of other people

be forced to retire because some bureaucrat

said we had to at 70?

It's computers.

Computers have no compassion.

When your age and name come up, that's it.

It's over.

I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

I-- I know you meant well, and I appreciate it,

but I just wouldn't be any fun at this party.

If you don't mind, Miss Hancock, I think I'll just walk home.

I'm telling you, what Mr. Z said is right.

Why should he be forced to retire?

We've got to do something.

But what can we do?

I'll tell you.

If you believe in Mr. Zelinka, you

should let the Board of Education

know how you feel about it.

What good will it do?

Plenty.

I mean, that's what America is all about-- petition,

sit-in, fighting for what you believe in.

Don't take this sitting down.

Yeah!

Let's picket the Board of Education.

- Right. - Wait.

Wait a minute.

I mean, Mark's got the right idea,

but I think you should start with a petition first.

Saying how you feel about Mr. Z.

We can get the whole school to sign it.

Yeah, parents and teachers, too.

I don't think it'll do any good.

Hey, come on. It's got to do some good.

We got to keep Mr. Zelinka here, where he belongs.

I'm going to get the teachers on our side.

Yeah, come on, Jerry.

We'll tell them if they don't join us,

then you'll go to their class and tell

them all your bad jokes.

Hey, well, I'm going to go start writing that petition.

Hey, thanks for your advice, guys.

Bye!

Bye, Jerry.

Feeling a little writer's block there?

Yeah.

No, I just can't get the words to come

out right, to say what I really want to say about Mr. Zelinka.

You really like him, don't you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I never had a teacher like him before.

I can't wait to get to his class in the morning,

and then I hate when the bell rings and I have to leave.

Oh, you got to be the first student in the history

of the world to ever say that.

I-- I know the other guys would think I was weird if I

told them, but Mr. Z has such a special

way of explaining things.

You know, I mean, it's like when he's

reading a play or something to us,

he puts so much feeling into it.

I feel like he's doing it just for me.

You ever tell them how you feel?

Nah.

No, I-- I couldn't do that.

I-- I have a hard time saying how I feel.

You didn't have any trouble saying how you felt just now.

And that's what you ought to be writing in your petition,

the way you feel about Mr. Z. Good luck with it.

[bell ringing]

What do you think?

I think it's a great idea, Susie.

I'm proud of you.

Well, do you think you can get some of the other teachers

to sign? - Well, yes.

I'll get the whole darn faculty to sign.

Everybody loves Ivan Zelinka.

Great.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Mrs. Hancock is going to try to get

all the other teachers to sign.

If you'd sign it, Mr. Carlyle, it

would really make an impression on the Board of Education.

I'd bet it would, but what kind?

I'm the principal of this school, Julie.

I can't go around signing student petitions.

I have a certain reputation to uphold.

But Mr. Carlyle, this isn't just any petition.

I know what it is.

And I'm against it.

I like Mr. Zelinka as much as anyone does.

He's a fine teacher.

But he's reached retirement age.

That's the system.

And Mr. Zelinka doesn't want to retire.

Look, Julie, Mr. Zelinka has been

teaching for a long, long time.

He deserves to rest.

It's time to bring in a younger teacher to take his place.

No one can ever take Mr. Zelinka's place!

Well, someone is going to.

And I don't want any petition to the Board of Education.

I don't want them to think I'm heading up

a bunch of revolutionary rabble rousers.

I forbid your petition on school property.

Do I make myself perfectly clear?

Boy, was he mad.

Mr. Carlyle's a pain.

I think he's jealous of Mr. Zelinka

because he knows how much we love him.

What are we going to do?

I think you should do it anyway.

But he said absolutely no petition on school property.

Well, if I were you, I'd do it off school property.

Yeah, why not?

Excuse me.

Could you sign this petition asking the Board of Education

not to retire Mr. Zelinka?

- You got it. - Great.

I like that old guy.

All right.

All right, thanks.

Thanks a lot. Hey.

Oh, excuse me.

Would you sign this petition to save Mr. Zelinka's job, please?

Oh, sure.

Mr. Z's the best.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

Didn't I tell you no petitions on school property?

How dare you disobey me like this.

I'll have you all expelled.

Excuse me, Mr. Carlyle, but the sidewalk

is not school property.

That has nothing to do with it.

It's still a school matter, and I'm

the principal of this school.

And you'll do as you're told.

Kind of out of line, isn't it?

What did you say?

I said, you're out of line.

I mean, these kids have rights.

This still is America, you know?

Mr, uh?

Gordon.

Yes, Mr. Gordon.

Perhaps I should remind you that I'm the principal

and you are a maintenance man.

Mr. Carlyle, I think maintenance people

have rights, too.

Along with the students, the older teachers.

I can't tell you not to sign that petition,

but I can tell you I strongly disapprove of your signing it.

And let me remind all of you how nice it

is to teach at Lincoln compared to some

of the high schools downtown.

Have a nice day, Miss Hancock.

Yes?

Um, we have a petition that we'd like to present

to the president of the board.

Oh, I'm sorry.

He's very busy right now.

Just leave it with me, and I'll see that he gets it.

We'd like to give it to him ourselves.

Well, I'm sorry, that just won't be possible.

The board's in session now.

Good.

We'll just walk in, give it to him in there.

Come on, kids. - You can't do that!

Well, either you get him out here, or in I go.

Well, you wait right there.

I'll get him.

You're really rad, Mark.

Rad?

Oh, yeah, the absolute raddest.

Hello.

I'm Bill Simenton, president of the school board.

I understand you have a petition that just can't wait.

Yes, sir.

We're from Lincoln High School, and it's

about Mr. Ivan Zelinka.

It was signed by all these kids

to keep Mr. Zelinka on as a teacher,

so he wouldn't be retired.

Well, that's very impressive.

Very impressive.

I know about this petition.

Mr. Carlyle phoned me, and the board has already

taken some action on this case.

Of course we appreciate very, very much all the effort

that you went to getting all the signatures.

That is the democratic process, isn't it?

Very admirable.

Unfortunately, the board's decision on retiring

Mr. Zelinka is final.

I'm awfully sorry, but those are the rules.

However, we thank you for your interest.

Mr. Zelinka must be very proud to have students like you.

Good afternoon.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Well, I guess it's true.

You can't fight City Hall.

Hey, I know you're discouraged,

but this is no time to be giving up.

But it all seems so hopeless, Mark.

What are we going to do?

Plan B.

Plan B?

Plan B.

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

Looks like they really love their Mr. Z.

CROWD: No, no Mr. Z won't go!

Guess there's no accounting for taste these days.

CROWD: No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

Break this up this minute.

Get in your classes right now.

CROWD: No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

I said, right now!

Or you will all be expelled!

CROWD: No, no Mr. Z won't go!

You can't expel the entire student body, Mr. Carlyle.

Just watch me.

I will not have this kind of demonstration

in front of my school!

It's not just your school.

It's their school, too.

My advice to you, Miss Hancock,

is to mind your own business.

This is my business, Mr. Carlyle.

This is my school, too.

And I believe in what these kids are fighting for.

Mr. Zelinka's right to keep on doing what he loves doing--

teaching.

CROWD: No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

I strongly advise you not to join

those students, Miss Hancock.

Advise or threaten, Mr. Carlyle?

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

You've really botched this one, Roger.

Now you've got the TV cameras covering this mess.

Give me the bullhorn, will you?

May I have your attention, please?

Now, this concerns Mr. Zelinka.

May I have your attention?

Now, this concerns Mr. Zelinka!

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm Bill Simenton, president of the Board of Education.

Now, I know that we've had a little difference of opinion

here, but you have made your feelings known to us.

And I'm glad of that.

Because that is the American way of doing things.

And I'm here to tell you that if you end this demonstration

right now, the board will hold a special meeting to hear

your side of things and to reconsider

their decision on Mr. Zelinka.

[cheering]

So why don't you kids go back to your class

and get the education that your parents are paying for?

And we'll conduct this meeting in a more orderly manner at

the board meeting tomorrow, OK?

[cheering]

We, the undersigned students of Lincoln High,

ask you to reconsider your decision

to retire Mr. Ivan Zelinka.

Mr. Zelinka is the best teacher we ever had.

We can't wait to get to his class in the morning,

and we hate it when the bell rings and we have to leave.

You leave his class educated, smiling,

and feeling glad to be alive.

He's a very special teacher, who cares about us,

and we care about him.

Please let them go on teaching.

Don't retire Ivan Zelinka.

And it's signed by all of these names, 1,027, every kid

at Lincoln High.

[cheering]

Thank you, Howie.

The board appreciates your involvement

with strong feelings for Mr. Zelinka.

I was in Mr. Zelinka's class, and he is a wonderful teacher.

But we must face the fact that at his age,

he has reached a point in time where these duties

are just too difficult for him.

After all, he is 70 years old.

That's just not true.

Age has nothing to do with a person's capabilities.

People have done great things when they were

a lot older than Mr. Zelinka.

I'll prove it to you.

I, uh, looked this up in the encyclopedia this morning.

Winston Churchill was 77 when he became prime minister

of England for the second time, and 79 when

he won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Our own Ronald Reagan was 77 when he was in office.

And Grandma Moses started her new career as an artist

when she was 76 years old, became world famous,

and painted 25 pictures one year after her 100th birthday.

[applause]

Thank you, Susie, for all the extra research

you've done for us.

And it's a perfectly persuasive argument.

However, the fact is that 70 is the mandatory retirement

age in this state.

And we can't break the rule for just one individual.

So the decision of the board stands.

Mr. Zelinka will be retired.

Now, if there are no other things to discuss,

this meeting is adjourned.

Excuse me, Mr. Simenton.

I'd like to say something.

SIMENTON: Who are you?

My name is Jonathan Smith.

I'm a maintenance man at Lincoln High School.

Well, excuse me, Mr. Smith, but we

have been here a long time, and we would like to go home,

because we are tired.

And frankly, I don't think that a maintenance man can add

very much to this discussion.

Yeah, well, if you'll excuse me,

I'm also a citizen and a taxpayer.

I pay your salary.

I think that takes precedent over what I do for a living.

[cheering]

I was just wondering whether or not you were aware of the fact

that the Age Discrimination Act was changed last last year.

The retirement age used to be 70.

It is no longer 70.

A lot of cities and states seem to be ignoring that change.

I imagine that's what happened here.

But let me tell you, if you insist upon retiring

Mr. Zelinka because of his age, you're

going to find yourself in a lawsuit with the Equal

Employment Opportunity Commission,

and I think you're going to lose that lawsuit.

But of course, I'm only a maintenance man.

[applause]

We seem to have been caught with our proverbial pants down.

In the light of these new developments,

perhaps the board's decision was a bit hasty.

However, I must remind you that it is still the board's right,

I might say duty, to determine a teacher's competency.

Therefore, Mr. Zelinka will be given

a written test to see if he is still able to conduct

a class at his age.

If he is, he may continue.

If he is not, he will be retired.

Meeting adjourned.

All right!

[cheering]

What the hell do we have legal counsel for?

Shouldn't we have been made aware of this?

It was an oversight, I suppose.

I don't like being made a laughing stock of.

Neither do I.

Oh, be quiet, Carlyle.

If that old man passes this test,

the local press is going to have a field day.

See to it.

See to what?

See to it that he can't pass the test.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello?

No.

No, no, no.

You must have the wrong number.

[knocking on door]

Oh, Jonathan, Mark.

Come in.

Thank you.

Thanks.

We thought we'd come by rather than call you on the phone.

Why?

Were you afraid I'd slit my wrists when I heard the news?

No, not at all.

They said you could continue teaching.

I can't believe it.

Yeah.

They did have one stipulation.

What?

That I have to simonize Carlyle's car once a week?

No, they want you to take a competency test.

A competency test?

Well, yeah, just a formality.

You take the test, you're right back to teaching.

You mean, after 47 years of teaching,

I have to take a test?

Oh, no way.

No yuppie board's going to sit in judgment on Ivan Zelinka.

I'd-- I'd rather retire than face the humiliation.

Ivan, listen.

No.

Now, what are you two doing in this anyway?

We're just trying to help.

I didn't ask for your help.

Now, please, just get out of my house and leave me alone.

Go on.

Get out.

I can understand why he feels the way he does.

I mean, making him take a test to see if he can do what he's

been doing for all those years?

I mean, the man has got some pride, you know?

Come on.

Pride's got nothing to do with it.

He's scared.

Scared of what?

Of not passing the test.

Oh, come on, Jonathan.

That's ridiculous.

It is?

He's 70 years old.

He's been told he's too old to do the job.

He's starting to doubt himself.

His confidence has been shaken. Believe me.

That's why he doesn't want to take the test.

Well, he's got to take the test.

He's the best teacher I ever saw.

I wish I'd had had a teacher like him.

The kids need him.

Now, we got to convince him to take that test.

I'm not so sure we can.

Well, who then?

Maybe somebody that knows him a lot better than we do.

Hello, Howie?

Yeah, Jonathan Smith.

Look, Howie, I'd like to talk to you about Mr. Zelinka.

[soft music playing]

[knocking on door]

Oh, Howie!

Um, excuse me, Mr. Zelinka.

I know it's late, but I wondered if I could talk to you.

Well, come on in.

I'll turn that off.

[music stops]

Now, what's on your mind?

Well, Jonathan called me tonight.

Oh, Howie, if it's about the test, don't bother.

My mind is made up.

It's an insult. I'm not going to do it.

So I'm afraid you came here for nothing.

Well, if there isn't anything else,

I think I'd like to be alone.

There is something else.

Well?

I wanted to tell you why I never do my homework.

Oh, I think we both know that.

Howie.

No, you don't.

See, you think it's because I'm lazy, and that's not it at all.

See, I like your class so much.

I mean, it's the first time I ever really did like a class.

I mean, you really care about me.

You talk to me like I'm important.

Well, you are important, Howie.

But you see, I never felt that way till I met you.

I-- I just love being in your class.

And why don't you do your homework?

[sighs]

Because I figured that if I didn't do it,

that you'd have to flunk me, and I'd get to be in your class

again.

Is that the truth?

Yeah.

Why didn't you ever tell me this before?

Because I was scared to.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth when you're scared.

Isn't it, Mr. Zelinka?

I know that's why you're not taking the test.

Because you're scared.

And I know what that feels like.

That's nonsense.

Pardon me, sir, but it's not.

Look, I was just honest with you.

Why can't you be honest with me?

All right.

I'm scared.

I'm afraid those people have the truth.

I'm just an old man who doesn't know when to quit.

Yeah, but don't you see?

They're not right.

Why do you think the kids have done all this?

The petitions and the picketing?

Because they're sorry for me.

They did it because you're the best teacher in the school.

They did it because you care, and that makes them care.

It's too late, Howie.

No, it's not.

Mr. Z, remember what you told me about-- about being scared,

about getting up in front of the class?

You said that you have to try.

That's the only way to get over being scared.

You bring me back my own platitudes.

That's hitting below the belt, Howie.

Well, I figured that you could take it.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

I'll make you a deal.

You take the test, and I'll start doing my homework.

What do you say?

You just made me an offer I can't refuse.

Good morning, Mr. Zelinka.

If you say so, sir.

Mr. Arnold will be with you during the test.

Now, the test itself consists of both true

and false and multiple choice.

And we have allotted you three hours for the test.

Three hours?

Oh, yes.

Well, of course it covers a wide variety of subjects.

I'm sure that a man of your background

will have no trouble at all with it.

We will begin the test at 9:00, and we

will pronounce the results in chamber at about 12:30,

just prior to lunch.

That's about it.

Shall we get started?

Good luck.

Thank you.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a board meeting to attend.

[clock ticking]

Mr. Arnold?

Yes.

The whole second section of this is chemistry and biology.

That's correct.

It covers many subjects.

But my teaching for the past 40 years has been--

Mr. Zelinka, the clock is running.

I'd get started if I were you.

[sighs]

11:30.

Wonder how he's doing.

It's rigged.

- What? - The test.

They rigged it so he wouldn't pass.

How do you know that?

Oh, Mark!

Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry.

Well, what are we going to do?

The only thing we can do in a case like this.

What's that?

Cheat.

Mr. Arnold?

Yes, Mr. Zelinka?

I'm finished.

ARNOLD: You've completed the entire test?

Well, there were a couple of sections

I couldn't answer at all, but I did the best I could.

I'm sorry to hear that.

If you're through, you may go.

Just leave your papers on the desk.

Mr. Zelinka, what are you doing?

I don't know.

Mr. Zelinka, I thought you were through with the test.

So did I.

Well, are you or aren't you?

I guess I'm not.

How'd you do?

I-- I don't know.

Well, we're going to find out soon enough.

Come on, we'd better get in the boardroom.

A bunch of the kids skipped class to hear the results.

They're waiting for you in the boardroom.

Are you all right?

I-- I don't know.

Well, of course, we understand your situation, Mr. Thompson.

And the entire board hopes that your wife will

soon make a speedy recovery.

And so we will delay any further discussion of the closing

of the Clark Street Elementary until Mr.

Thompson completes his report.

Our last piece of business for this morning

will be the results of Mr. Zelinka's competency test.

Mr. Zelinka, will you come up here, please?

Mr. Arnold.

Mr. Arnold, the report, please?

Mr. Zelinka scored a 99.5.

[cheering]

[banging gavel]

Order!

May we have order?

Are you sure about that score, Mr. Arnold?

It's the highest score anyone ever

achieved on this particular test, and I'm quite sure.

Congratulations, Mr. Zelinka.

This meeting is adjourned for lunch!

[cheering]

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

Congratulations, Mr. Z.

Thank you, Howie.

I'll expect to see your homework in the morning.

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

No, no, Mr. Z won't go!

[theme music]