Original subtitles

[theme music]

[soft dramatic music]

ANNOUNCER (ON TELEVISION): There's just 38 seconds

to play in the first half.

San Francisco leads 10-3.

The Rams have intercepted one of Montana's passes,

returned it up in the field positions from which

they got their three points.

Coming out, the San Francisco 49ers--

Jerry Rice, Dwight--

JONATHAN: Hey, Mark, what are you doing in there?

Uh, I'll-- I'll be right out.

JONATHAN: Man, that was a whole quarter ago.

I thought you wanted to see this game.

Yeah, I do.

I do.

I'll be right out.

You keep watching so you can tell

me what I'm missing, all right?

[chuckles]

ANNOUNCER (ON TELEVISION): --downed

by Mickey Sutton as he fell.

Rathman coming out of the backfield, the big fullback

from Nebraska--

Surprise!

- Hey, what's going on? - [chuckles]

ANNOUNCER (ON TELEVISION): --and a gain of 20 yards on the pass

play. - You forgot.

It's a good thing we're not married.

You're telling me.

What did I forget?

It's our anniversary.

Four years ago, we started traveling together.

I'll be darned. You're right.

I did forget.

Yeah, well turn that thing off, get over here.

We've got to make a wish and blow out the candles.

Here we go.

Now, wish.

You ready?

Ready.

MARK: Go.

[both exhaling]

[chuckles] I'll get us a couple of plates.

What did you wish for?

JONATHAN: Hey, Mark, come on.

You're not supposed to say your wishes, remember?

MARK: Aw, come on.

That's a lot of superstition.

How about trying to guess what I wish for?

Come on, come on.

Try to guess.

Mark, I don't have to guess.

What do you mean you don't ha--

now, Jonathan, that is not fair.

You already know.

You say you're not supposed to tell anybody, you already know.

Well, Mark, I can't help it.

MARK: Well, it ruins it.

All right, if it makes you feel any better,

we both wished for the same thing.

That we'd always be working together?

That's right.

[chuckles] Boy, it's been a great four years.

Changed my life.

I tell you, I'll never forget the night I met you.

I'm surprised you remember it.

You were bombed.

Oh, tell me about it.

Why else would I start a fight with two guys?

Boy, you really saved my buns that night.

[country music]

Two points.

There it is-- the O.K. Corral hoot, and I'm Doc Holliday.

[groans]

[grunting]

Hey, that's enough.

Leave him alone.

I turned the other cheek.

[groans]

You ready to go home now?

[deep sigh] Yeah.

[groans]

[country music, bar chatter]

But the night I really remember was the night

you told me you were an angel.

Boy, did I think you were a phony.

I remember, I was searching through your apartment.

[suspenseful music]

Can I help you, Mark?

Yeah, you can help me.

You can help me by telling me what you're after.

I don't know what you mean.

Oh, come on.

Don't play Mickey the Dunce with me.

I've been there.

I know the difference between a straight John and a con man.

Now, you want to talk to me, or you want to talk to the cops?

Go on.

I have been to every nursery, every bicycle shop

in this town.

None of them ever heard of you.

Now, can you explain that to me?

I'd rather not.

Uh-huh.

And what about this place?

I mean, you've got no clothes.

You don't have any food.

You don't even have a toothbrush or a razor.

You don't live here.

This place is a front.

I want some answers, Mr. Smith.

Look, all I can tell you is I'm just doing my job.

I'm not here to hurt anybody.

Please believe me.

[scoffs] You sound like all the rest of them.

I'm innocent.

Please believe me.

Now, I'm going to tell you one more time.

Either you talk to me, or I call the cops.

If you do that, I'll have to leave before my job's done.

Then talk.

If I tell you, you're not gonna believe me anyway.

[sighs] Try me.

All right then.

In my job, I am sent to various places

by my boss to try to help people.

Mm-hmm.

Go on.

I'd like to leave it at that.

Yeah, I bet you would.

[scoffs] Come on.

Come on now.

What is the setup here?

I mean, who's your boss?

God.

What?

My boss is God.

Oh boy, oh boy, my sister really picked a winner.

I mean, you're nothing but a kook.

Well, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

MARK: And you were right.

Listen, I don't know whether you're

a harmless kook or a dangerous kook,

but I'll tell you one thing--

I am not leaving you alone with my sister,

not until the police have a chance to check you out.

[rattles door]

I'll let you leave in a minute.

What do you mean you'll let me leave?

Just what I said.

[rattles door]

You wanted the truth.

I'm giving it to you.

I'm an angel.

Not one of the best, but I try.

And I make mistakes.

The bicycles were a mistake, but he let me have them.

He?

Yeah, God.

I guess he figures the only way I'm going to learn

is by mistakes.

I'm kind of new at this.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

[rattles door] Listen, friend, you need help.

Yes, I do.

I need your help.

And what good is it going to do you to go to the police?

I'll be gone by the time you get back,

and I won't have finished my job.

Then I hurt a whole bunch of innocent people

for no reason and all because you

don't trust your fellow man.

Well, I said my piece.

You can go now.

[scoffs]

If you change your mind about talking to the police,

you're welcome to have dinner here.

Leslie said you like steak.

You'll find one in the refrigerator.

I've got to bring her this sour cream.

[celestial music]

Boy, you know, it's hard to believe

that was four years ago.

It seems like it was only yesterday.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we had some great times, you and I--

and some funny ones.

[chuckles]

MARK: What?

What?

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking about the time the boss put you

inside the body of that actress.

What was her name?

Linda Blackwell.

I'm gonna kill her. She's a guy.

She can take it.

[grunting]

Now, come on!

Stop it and listen to me.

Now, he's doing this so each of you

will understand what it's like to live like the other one.

Now, the sooner you accept that and do it,

the sooner he's going to put you back in your own bodies.

Now, stop it.

You mean that he has to go out there and do my lines?

I'll be ruined.

Linda, that is exactly what I mean.

You're gonna have to keep all of Mark's appointments,

and Mark's going to have to keep all of yours.

Piece of cake.

What?

You heard me-- piece of cake.

Well.

[knocking on door]

Yeah, come in.

I hate to bother you, but Mr. Campbell wondered if--

Yeah, if what?

--if, uh, you'd like to rehearse.

We're ready.

You bet I'm ready.

I'll be right there.

[gasps] You keep my hands off of those.

Shut up.

MARK: [humming]

[knife clatters]

Sure you don't want a piece of it?

No, you-- you're doing fine without me.

Hey, Jonathan, of all of our assignments,

all of them, which was your favorite?

Same here.

What?

Well, you're thinking about your cousin

Diane marrying Scotty.

Why do you keep doing that?

Oh, come on.

I would have known that even if I wasn't an angel.

Remember?

You were so worried the marriage wouldn't work out.

Huh.

Well, so was Scotty if you hadn't convinced him.

I'll bet no man ever put a ring on his bride-to-be the way

Scotty did that night, huh?

[romantic music]

Hi.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Well, yeah, sure.

I, uh-- I thought Jonathan and Mark were picking you up.

Yeah, they did.

I asked them to wait downstairs.

Look, I'll make this short.

I've been a jackass, but I'm over it now.

And if it's not too late--

I mean, if you haven't changed your mind--

I'd like to ask you to marry me.

Hey, I'll understand if you say no.

Yes.

Yes?

Oh, yes, Scotty.

OK.

Would you do something crazy if I asked you?

Anything.

Would you put your finger in my mouth?

What?

Your ring finger, put it in my mouth.

[romantic music]

I love you, you crazy nut.

It takes one to know one.

Boy, love and marriage.

I tell you, when it's right, there's nothing like it.

[telephone rings]

Oh, Mark, it's for you.

I wish you'd quit doing that.

Hello?

Frank?

Frank Kelly?

Well, you son of a gun.

How'd you know where to find me?

Your sister told him.

Will you quit?

[chuckles]

Hey, Frank, what's going on?

You're kidding?

Well, of course I want to be there.

[chuckles] You bet I will.

All right, we'll see you there.

I don't believe it.

His daughter's getting married,

and they want you to be the head usher.

Why do you keep doing that?

Well, I'm terribly sorry.

[scoffs] Listen, we're gonna have to leave right away.

I'm all ready.

Great, I'll get my stuff packed.

JONATHAN: Uh, Mark?

Yeah?

Better go to the bathroom first, got a long drive.

Well, mister smart aleck, I don't have to.

Oh, that's puke coming.

That's puke.

[chuckles]

[soft dramatic music]

[bells chime]

[playful romantic music]

What are you waiting for?

The streets have turned green.

Let's go!

[horn honks]

Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Will you calm down?

I am calm.

I just want to get to the church on time.

You'll get there on time.

[sighs] Not if have to drive behind Romeo

and Juliet here the whole way.

It's only a rehearsal.

It's not even the wedding.

It is the rehearsal of my best friend's daughter.

I want to be there on time.

You know, weddings are supposed

to put people in a good mood.

(GRUMBLY) I'm in a great mood.

All right, so I'm a little nervous.

Weddings make me nervous, especially

when I have to do something.

All you have to be as an usher.

Not just an usher--

head usher.

You know, I was best man at Frank and Carla's wedding?

It seems like it was only yesterday.

Here their daughter is getting married.

Boy, the years really fly by when you get older.

I wouldn't know.

Oh, yeah.

Jonathan, you're gonna love these people.

They are the most loving, romantic people

you've ever met your life.

I mean, they're what marriage is all about--

their parents too.

[chuckles]

What a cute couple.

You know they still hold hands?

With all the families going to pot,

these are the kind of people that restore your faith

in the institution of marriage.

Mark.

MARK: What?

There's an assignment.

MARK: Where's an assignment?

We've got an assignment.

MARK: Well, since when?

Since just now.

But Jonathan, there can't be.

Now, I cleared this date with the boss months ago.

What's the assignment?

I'm not sure yet.

Look, why don't you go on to the church without me.

I'll take care of this one alone.

Jonathan, I counted on your being there.

Will you stop worrying?

You're gonna do fine.

Aw, Jonathan, you know, it's-- it's not the same.

Now, Jonathan, like--

Jonathan?

Jonathan?

[brakes screech, metal crunches]

[sighs] Oh no.

[hissing]

What are you doing stopping in the middle of the road,

you jerk?

What was I doing.

I stopped at a stop sign.

What were you doing?

Yeah, what were you doing?

Oh, I, uh--

I was just talking to my friend and took my eyes

off the road for a second.

Well, what friend is that?

Uh, well, he was there.

You see, he had, uh, to leave all of a sudden.

Out of a moving car?

Let me see your license.

Oh, Jonathan!

Leave me alone.

I took the pill an hour ago.

You did not.

I have the pills right here.

Well, how could I take 'em, if you keep hiding 'em?

Well, if I don't keep 'em, you forget 'em.

Yeah, I shoulda took the damn pill an hour ago.

Mr. Kelly?

What?

He said Mr. Kelly.

I know what he said, Rose.

I'm not deaf.

He said Mr. Kelly, and I said, what?

Mark Gordon.

- Who? - Mark Gordon.

I used to come to your house on Thanksgiving and Christmas 20,

25 years ago.

Huh, of course, yeah.

This is my wife Rose.

Oh, I know.

How are you, Mrs. Kelly?

Hmm, Mark Gordon.

Yeah, he's a friend of Carla's.

No, I was on the police force with Frank.

Oh, he was on the police force with Frank.

He's not Carla's friend.

You're thinking of that other Gordon, Charlie Gordon.

Well, I know who I'm thinking of.

I'm thinking of that fellow right here.

You're always trying to correct me, every second.

I think I'll go say hello to Carla and Frank.

- And I'm getting sick of it. - Sick of it, are you?

Well, there's no age limit in the divorce courts.

Nice talking to you.

Divorce court, huh?

Well, you just keep it up, and that's where I'll be.

Don't you threaten me.

I don't need it.

I have a heart condition too, and I

don't need to be threatened.

I am not going to argue with you here in church.

Why not?

We argue everywhere else.

Trish's wedding is going to be the most

important day of her life, and I am

not going to let you spoil it.

Spoil-- why am I the one that's spoiling it?

And if it's so important to her, why isn't she here?

I have two meetings I have to get to today.

Your daughter's wedding is more

important than your meetings.

My meetings are paying for this wedding and the house

and the cars and the maid and everything else.

Why-- why do I have to justify going to work to you?

Because you use your work as an excuse.

FRANK: An excuse for what?

For ignoring your family, just like you always do.

Carla, I'm here.

What are you griping about?

I'm here.

Hey, Frank.

- Mark! - Carla.

[chuckling]

Mark.

Frank.

Hey, you look great.

Both of you, you look great. - Well, thank you.

So do you.

I really appreciate your coming here.

We both do.

Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Later on, we'll have to get together

and knock back a few, huh?

Oh, that you have time for.

Yeah, that I have time for.

Mm-hmm.

Well, you look great.

Yeah, so do you.

Well, where's the little bride-to-be?

Yeah, that's what we'd like to know.

I cleared my whole morning.

She doesn't even have time to show

up to rehearse her own wedding.

You're a regular martyr, Frank.

Give it a rest, Carla, OK?

CARLA: Fine.

Well, why-- why don't we just start without her, huh?

We can't start without her.

Our part.

At least we'd be accomplishing something.

The reverend isn't even here yet.

Will you just calm down.

Our reverend got sick, and the new guy

hasn't even showed up yet.

TRISH: Hi, everybody.

I'm sorry I'm late, Daddy, but some loud-mouthed drunk

rear-ended us.

- Well, are you both all right? - Yeah, we're fine.

I just stayed in the car and let Brad handle it all.

[sighs] Well, honey, this is your Uncle Mark.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, last time I saw you, you were just a baby.

BRAD: Mr. Kelly, I'm really very sorry, but some jerk just--

you.

That's my Uncle Mark.

That is the guy that rear-ended the Porsche.

Yeah, really, I'm sorry about that.

It's-- this is really not my day, you know?

Well, don't feel bad.

Nothing's going right today.

I'm late for a meeting, and we still don't have a preacher.

JONATHAN: I'm terribly sorry I'm late,

but I just got word of this assignment.

I'm Reverend Smith.

Praise the Lord.

Amen.

[soft jazz music]

[chatter]

Thank you.

How you doing, Mr. Kelly?

Oh, pretty good.

And how are you, uh, Charlie?

No, Mark.

Oh, yes, Carla's friend.

[chuckles] Hey, how long have you been married now, sir?

49 years.

Oh, hey, that's wonderful.

What's so wonderful about it?

Well, uh--

Well, I mean, you know, you've been happily married

all those years, and now your granddaughter's

getting married, and you know.

Wonderful, huh?

Well, if I'd known then what I know now, I'd still be single.

If you're so unhappy, why don't you

do something about it?

I wasn't talking to you.

I'm talking to Charlie here.

Oh, Mrs. Kelly, it's nothing.

We were just talking, you know.

If you knew then what you know now, you'd still be single.

Well, if I knew then what I know now,

I can promise you you'd be single.

Ah, you wouldn't have married me, huh?

That's what you say about me, and I'm getting sick and tired

of hearing it too.

Oh, Mrs. Kelly, he didn't mean anything.

He was just talking.

[chuckles]

Button it up, Charlie.

CLARENCE: Well, maybe that's what I did mean if that's

the way you feel about it.

Then I think you should move your things into the spare room

until you can find another place.

Well, that's fine with me.

Oh, now, uh--

no, wait a minute.

See, he was just using a figure of speech.

I said button it up, Charlie.

My name is not Charlie.

I'm Mark.

Frank, you'd better go see your mother.

Why?

What's wrong?

[sighs] She's upset.

I mean, it's ridiculous, splitting

up after 49 years of marriage.

It's absurd.

Any more absurd than splitting up after 25 years of marriage?

I don't want to talk about it now,

not until after the wedding.

We are not going to spoil things for Trish.

I want to talk about it.

I don't see why we have to get a divorce.

I'm perfectly content to just go along with things the way

they are.

Well, I'm not.

No.

A divorce is the only way.

What divorce?

What are you talking about?

Oh, nothing, honey.

We weren't talking about anything.

Yes, you were.

Now, answer me-- what divorce?

I mean, I don't understand.

I mean, Rose and Clarence were the most loving couple

I have ever met in my life.

Now they're at each other like cats and dogs.

What happens to people?

I don't know.

Maybe they forget why they fell in love in the first place.

Reverend Smith, uh, I just wanted to tell you

so you can plan your calendar.

We won't-- we won't be needing you next Saturday.

I'm postponing the wedding indefinitely.

Trish, why?

Why?

My grandparents are splitting up.

My mother and father are getting divorced.

Your parents?

No, you've got to be kidding.

I wish I was.

What's the point to getting married

if that's the way it ends?

MARK: No, look-- look, Trish, just because you--

TRISH: I'm sorry.

I don't think I can talk about this right now.

Um, the wedding is off.

[somber music]

Honey, what's the matter?

Oh, everything.

I'm sorry, Brad.

I can't marry you.

What?

[sniffles] I can't marry you.

What are you talking about?

Ask my parents or my grandparents.

[sniffling] Here's your-- your, um, your ring.

Trish.

Trish!

You had dinner at the party.

I can't believe you're still hungry.

I'm not hungry.

I'm upset.

I always eat when I'm upset.

Yeah, then you're gonna be awake

all night complaining you've got gas.

I will not.

I can't believe those people breaking up like that.

Usually, I thought when a marriage breaks up,

somebody's being a bad guy, you know?

Like somebody's fooling around or something like that.

These people aren't doing that.

They're good people.

I know.

I mean, they got everything, you know?

They got money. They've got their health.

They've got each other.

And they're miserable, and they're

making each other miserable.

I mean, why do people do that?

You'd think they'd learn, huh.

Oh boy.

What's the matter?

I've got gas.

There must be garlic or peppers in this thing.

Every time I eat those, they-- this happens to me like that.

Oh, Jonathan, I'm not going to be

able to sleep all night long.

Jonathan, couldn't you use the stuff, just a little bit,

and make the gas just go away?

Mark, I'm an angel not an antacid.

Oh, that's cute Jonathan, cute.

You know what?

Why don't you really just try and get some sleep?

Jonathan, I just told you.

I can't sleep when I'm feeling like this.

Even if I do, I just crazy dreams all night long.

I know.

Oh, no, Jonathan, don't do that.

No, Mark, I got three couples that are splitting up here.

I can't be every place at once.

Jonathan, I hate when you do that.

I hate when you put me in other people's dreams.

I never get any rest.

Besides, the way I am feeling, I am not going to be

able to sleep all night long.

I mean, it is a lost cause.

Mark. What?

Good night.

Good luck.

[clock ticking]

MARK: [belches] Oh boy.

What's that?

Who's there?

Oh, it's me, Mr. Kelly.

I burped.

What in tarnation are you doing in my house

burping at this time of night?

Well, it's this sandwich.

It gave me gas.

So?

Go belch in your own room.

This is my room.

MARK: Well, actually it's your guest room.

You're supposed to be upstairs in your own room

with your wife.

That's why I'm here.

So she sent you.

No, she didn't send me.

You're just having a dream about me.

What?

MARK: I said you're still asleep.

You're just having a dream about me.

Oh, you got to be kidding.

Go on.

Get out of here.

MARK: I'm afraid I can't do that.

What?

Listen, Clarence, we've got a lot to do tonight.

So why don't you put on this coat so we can go.

Go where?

Well, for starters, in there.

Well, that's my bathroom.

Why would I go into my bathroom with you?

There is a party going on.

Oh, forget it, Charlie.

I'm not going to any parties in my bathroom with you.

Mark.

What?

My name is Mark, not Charlie.

Whatever.

Listen, Clarence, you remember when

you said if you knew then what you know now, you'd be single?

So?

Well, now's your chance.

Here, put on this coat.

On the other side of that door, there

is a young man named Clarence.

He's about to marry a girl named Rose.

That young man is you 49 years ago.

Now's your chance to tell him what you know.

And if he believes you, really believes you,

he won't marry her.

You'll get your wish.

You'll be single.

That's in my bathroom?

That's right.

[big band music]

[chatter]

Let's have one last toast to my best

pal, Clarence Kelly, who, after tomorrow,

will be a bachelor no more.

[exclamations, laughter]

To poor old--

ALL: --Clarence To poor old Clarence.

It's Joe Dougherty.

He was my best man.

That's right.

Recognize that pie-eyed young fellow over there?

JOE: There's someone waiting to see you--

[exclamations, laughter]

JOE: --in the boom-boom room.

It's me.

This is my bachelor party.

YOUNG CLARENCE: You guys go on ahead.

I'll catch up with you in a second.

I'm gonna splash a little water on my face.

[laughter]

You see, he's already falling apart,

and he's not even married yet.

[laughter]

All right, Clarence, we'll save you a ringside seat.

[laughter]

Come on.

[exclamations]

Now's your chance, Clarence.

Clarence?

Hey, old timer.

How'd you get in here?

This is a private party.

Clarence, look at me.

Don't you know who I am?

Should I?

Yeah, you should.

I'm you.

You are?

Yeah.

Gee, I look terrible.

Kid, I'm you 49 years later.

You're me 49 years ago.

And I thought I was drunk.

I want to go wash up, OK?

No you don't.

You don't want to splash any water on your face.

You want to hightail it out of that back door

and call Rose and tell her the whole thing's

all because you're not ready to get married yet.

How did you know what I was thinking?

That's just what I was thinking.

And I'll tell you something else too.

You're thinking you maybe ought to go down to that train

station and buy a ticket for the first train to San Francisco

and when you get there, join the Merchant

Marine because you think you're too young to settle down.

You think maybe you're getting married

just because everybody's been telling

you it's time to get married.

And maybe you really don't want to marry her at all.

Who are you?

How do you know all this?

Because I'm you, and that's exactly what I thought.

Only I never did it.

I just went ahead and got married,

never lived that life of adventure

that I could have had if I'd just gotten on that train.

And now I--

I'm an old man full of regrets and thinking about

what might have been.

Don't you let that happen to you, kid.

You get on that train.

You get on that train for San Francisco and don't look back.

You're right.

You're right.

I don't know who you really are, mister,

but you're right as rain.

Thanks.

And Clarence?

Yeah?

Whatever you do, don't let her sweet

talk you out of that life that's waiting for you,

that life full of all of the adventure that I never had.

Don't worry.

I won't.

And thanks.

Well, you did it, Clarence.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I did.

Well, listen, maybe we ought to go

down to that station with him.

That train doesn't leave till midnight.

Nah, you convinced him.

Yeah, yeah, I guess I did.

I feel so tired all of a sudden, you know?

Maybe we better get back.

I don't feel so good.

Anything you say, Clarence, anything you say.

[insects chirping]

What's going on here?

My house-- where's my house?

There's no house here.

Where-- all the neighbors houses are here.

Where's mine?

You never built it.

Of course I did.

I lived in that house for 40 years.

Frank was raised in that house.

There's not any Frank either, Clarence.

How could there be?

You built this house for you and Rose.

If you never married Rose, you never built the house.

No Frank?

No grandchildren either.

But we had so many good times, good memories in that house.

MARK: And all with Rose.

But you're better off without her.

I mean, what the heck, all she did was nag.

Because she cares about me.

No, she doesn't, Clarence.

You never married her.

She doesn't even remember what you look like.

But you were there--

every Christmas and Thanksgiving--

you said so yourself.

Those were good times in that house, wonderful times.

You were there.

Not if you didn't marry Rose.

See you around, Clarence.

CLARENCE: No, no, no, I want my life back, the one I had.

We've got to get down to that train station.

We can't let me get on that train, please.

I don't know if that's possible, Clarence.

But we can try.

[chatter]

MAN (ON PA): Your attention, please.

The New York Limited now boarding on track number nine.

Where is the young fool?

Clarence?

What?

Look over there.

It's Rosie.

Gosh, look at--

I forgot how beautiful she was.

What-- what's she doing here?

She came down to pick up her aunt who's coming

in from Boston for the wedding.

Don't you remember?

Oh, yes, her Aunt Bea.

The old battle-ax never has forgiven her for not

being there to meet her.

She better bump into young Clarence pretty soon.

There's only five minutes left till he leaves on the train.

MAN (ON PA): Your attention, please.

The 10:15 train from Boston has been delayed.

It will arrive at 12:30 AM.

The 10:15 train from Boston has been delayed

and will arrive at 12:30 AM.

She-- she's leaving.

She won't see him.

You better do something, Clarence.

Excuse me, miss.

Yes?

I, uh-- your name wouldn't be Rosie, would it?

Rose O'Hara?

Why, yes, how'd you know?

Well, I met a young fella here tonight

by the name of Clarence, and he showed me your picture.

That's how I recognized you.

Except the picture didn't do you justice.

You're even prettier than I remembered, Rosie.

I beg your pardon?

CLARENCE: Well-- well, please don't be offended, miss.

But this-- this young man, Clarence, he--

he's about to make an awful mistake.

He's got cold feet about the wedding.

What is this?

Who are you?

Just an old fella who shared a drink with him.

You know how people talk.

Well, anyway, he's here.

He can't be.

It's his bachelor party tonight.

Well, he ran away.

That's what he told me.

And he's going to keep a'running right

on to that midnight train for San Francisco

unless you can stop him.

I don't believe any of this.

If you'll excuse me.

Uh, uh, look, miss, I'm an old man,

and I once had a sweetheart, and I almost ran

out on her for the same reason.

And if I had, I would have missed out

on the most wonderful life and wonderful girl.

Don't let him make the mistake I almost made.

MARK: [whistles]

There he is right over there.

It's Clarence.

Rosie, just one more thing.

You'll talk him out of it.

I know you will.

And you'll have a nice life, you two.

Oh, he'll give you a lot of aggravations,

but he does love you.

Now, try to remember that.

And if someday, when you get to be my age,

you find that the two of you maybe forgot how much you once

loved each other, you try to--

try to remember what an old man told you a long time

ago, that deep inside that crotchety old fool you're

mad at is the more you're in love with

and who loves you very, very much.

[music - "isn't it romantic?"]

Take me back, kid.

Take me back home.

[soft dramatic music]

Well, is this, uh, business or pleasure?

FRANK: I beg your pardon?

Are you in town on business or pleasure, sir?

Oh, I live in this town.

I, uh, broke up with my wife tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thank you, sir.

Would you like any ice?

Ice?

No, no, I'm all iced out for the night.

All right.

Good night.

Good night.

Oh, great.

[phone beeps, dials]

WOMAN (ON PHONE): Front desk.

Hi.

I, uh, seem to have forgotten my toothbrush.

I wonder if by any chance--

WOMAN (ON PHONE): I'm sorry, sir.

The hotel gift shop is closed right now.

I guess I, uh, must have left without it.

I guess I wasn't thinking about my teeth.

My-- my wife-- she usually packs my things.

WOMAN (ON PHONE): There's an all-night drugstore

not far from here.

Oh, no, that's-- that's all right.

I don't know why I was babbling on about my wife.

WOMAN (ON PHONE): It's off of 4th

Street on Concord, A1 Drugs.

I, uh, guess I just wanted somebody to talk to.

Pretty dumb, huh?

Anyway, uh, good night.

WOMAN (ON PHONE): Good night.

[dial tone hums]

[somber music]

[phone beeping]

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): Hello?

Reverend Smith?

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): Yes.

This is Mrs. Kelly.

I'm sorry to be calling so late, but you said--

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): [sighs] Oh, that's all right now.

What's wrong?

Well-- [crying] I'm--

I'm sorry.

I thought I could handle this, but I pass my husband's closet,

and it's empty, and I just started crying.

I know it's so stupid.

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): No, no it's not.

I didn't want to call my daughter.

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): I'm--

I'm glad you called me.

I'll be right down.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

JONATHAN (ON PHONE): It's all right, Mrs. Kelly.

I'll be there soon.

Thank you.

[dial tone hums]

Well, buddy, you've done your job for the night.

Now let's see if I can do mine.

[door opens and closes]

[theme music]