Original subtitles

[theme music]

Bless you, Father, for coming on such short notice,

but I don't think Mrs. Malinoff has too much longer.

And I know she'd want to see a priest.

Of course, she'll probably want to see a Russian Orthodox

priest, but there just aren't in the neighborhood anymore.

She's certainly lucky to have you for a neighbor.

Well, she and I have been friends for 40 years,

ever since she first came over from Germany.

I thought you said she was from Russia?

She was indeed, but when the Nazis first invaded Russia

in the Great War, they bundled her

and half the village off to work as slave labor.

She had a little baby boy that she managed to send off

to neighbors, but she never saw the little fellow

again or her husband either.

It broke her heart losing that little boy.

She never got over it.

Well, maybe she'll find some peace at last.

I'll go see if she's awake.

Father, she's awake now.

Thank you very much.

Father, she's not too lucid, poor thing.

She thinks you're an angel.

Oh, does she?

Aye, she does that.

She says she's been laying there praying for some angel

to come and grant her one wish before she dies

and she's convinced you're it.

Well, thank you for telling me that.

Father, I know would be stretching the rules and all,

but maybe just this once would you forget you're a priest

and be her angel, just sort of play along?

Don't you worry, Rosamay.

What did you just call me?

Rosamay.

Why, no one ever called me that in my life

except my late husband.

I know.

Excuse me.

Hello, Maria.

I'm Jonathan.

I knew you would come.

I knew it.

You had faith.

I know there is a plan.

I have never understood it, but I know there is a plan.

That things happen the way they do for a reason.

I have never questioned that, but if I could see him once

again on this Earth, if I could just

know he was all right, if I could know what kind of a man

he grew to be, and if I could just tel him--

Tell him what?

That I love him.

That I have never stopped loving him, he should know that.

Even now.

Even now as a grown man, he should know that.

Yes, he should.

I have never been able to give him anything.

I would like to be able to give him this before I die.

I want him to know that no matter what has happened

to him in this life, no matter what kind of man he grew to be,

he has a mama and she loves him.

Can you help me, Jonathan?

Help me give him this gift?

I'll try, Maria.

I'll try.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mrs. Murphy?

Oh, how is she?

She's resting now.

Did she, uh, did she say she thought

you were some kind of an angel?

Yes, she did.

And, um, did you ask her to grant

her one kind of last wish?

Yes, she did.

Oh my, the poor thing.

What you going to do?

Do my best to grant her wish.

What?

I have to go now.

Goodbye, Mrs. Murphy.

Father?

Yes?

How do you know my husband called me Rosamay?

No one knew that but me.

He told me, just the other day.

I think you've bit off more we can chew this time.

I think you're going to have to go

all the way to the premier of Russia

to spring this woman's kid.

Well, then that's what we'll do.

What do you mean we?

I don't want to go to Russia.

It's cold over there.

Maybe we won't have to go quite that far.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: And in the news tonight,

Andrey Karpovich, Deputy Premier of the Soviet Union,

has just landed at Andrews Air Force base.

After consultations at the Soviet embassy,

Karpovich and his entourage, will head for the latest round

of summit talks with the president to be

held in a secret location.

As soon as we get to a freeway entrance, head east.

Where we going?

To the secret location.

Get out of the car with you hands on your head.

This is a restricted area.

What are you doing here?

Ask him.

I asked you.

What will I tell him?

Tell him the truth.

It better be the truth.

The truth?

The truth.

Tell him the truth.

OK.

He's an angel.

All right, let them through.

Let's go.

I cannot believe it.

What kind of security you call that?

All I do is tell them you're an angel, right,

and it's open sesame.

I don't believe it.

That was the password.

What?

He's an angel.

That was the password.

You should have told me sooner.

I could have saved a pair of shorts.

Keep the sauces light, you understand?

You just run the staff, Mrs. Butler,

and let me take care of the sauces.

I've cooked for heads of state before.

And I'm a chef, not a politician.

Now listen here, you petty pipsqueak,

these instructions are coming from the Secretary himself.

Deputy Premier Karpovich has a delicate stomach.

If he gets indigestion from your sauces,

then he gets in a bad mood, and then arms control

go right out the window.

So if you want to avoid World War III,

you just keep those sauces light.

Oh.

Mrs. Butler?

Yes?

I'm Jonathan Smith.

This is Mark Gordon.

We were told to report to you.

Oh, Smith and Gordon.

Well, thank heavens you've arrived.

You're a real Godsend.

Ain't it the truth?

It was very good of the White House to put the two of you

on loan to us.

Now your duties here will be much the same

as what you're used to.

Nothing to be nervous about.

You're just glorified room service waiters.

Sounds simple enough.

Well, you'll find your clothes in the locker room,

and of course, I'm sure I don't have to remind you

that whatever political opinions you have,

you'll keep to yourselves.

The Russkies will love us.

The Russkies?

He's kidding, right?

Tell me he's kidding.

In fact, don't tell me.

If he's not kidding, I don't want to know.

Follow me.

Admiral, my job is to advise the president and the secretary

and my advice in this negotiation

is going to be very simple.

Four words, don't trust the Russians.

Hey, now you're talking.

Mark.

The world is just as dangerous for them as it is for us.

We may both have to learn to trust

each other in order to survive.

What a crock.

Would you be quiet, please?

No, no, let him talk.

Never thought I would live to see the day when a waiter made

more sense than a Navy Admiral.

Look, I didn't mean to--

I never thought I would see the day when the two most

powerful nations on Earth would put

their fate in the hands of computers

instead of human beings.

That's exactly what we're headed for if we don't watch out.

Ask your newfound expert how he feels about that.

What do you feel about that? - What?

Me? No.

Look, I--

What do you ask him for?

He's just a waiter.

That's right.

I'm just a waiter.

According to you, he makes more sense than a Navy Admiral.

Oh, he didn't mean that.

He was just mouthing off.

What?

Excuse us.

Mark, we have a lot of work to take care of.

I just don't want to see us get in the kind of situation

where we're so scared of what the Russians are up to that we

keep on building weapons and delivery systems

that could blows us off the face of the Earth by mistake.

What do you suggest?

Let the Russians get so far ahead of us

that they could win a nuclear war?

How dare you impugn my honor?

Mark, let me ask you something.

Have you ever considered a career in diplomacy?

No.

Good, keep it that way.

Wait a minute, what's that supposed to mean?

I didn't do anything.

Mark, we're here to solve one little assignment

for one sweet little old lady.

We're not here to decide the fate of the world.

Well, maybe you're not, you know, because you're dead.

I still live on this planet.

You know, when I was in school, you know, if there was a fight,

the teacher would step in and break it up.

When I was a cop, I did the same thing.

Why can't the boss come down here and put an end to this?

Why can't he put an end to all war?

Because he's not a cop, that's why.

He's God and he created people with choices to make,

with decisions, and the free will to make those decisions.

Right.

I make the wrong choice, I screw up my life, right?

But if those guys make the wrong decision,

it's adios to everybody.

Boy, I hope those guys are smart.

Hi. Excellent.

Excellent.

Bring in the food and set it up on the table, please.

Excuse me.

[speaking russian]

No, my dear Popov, you don't have to speak

Russian in front of him.

He's probably a CIA agent anyway, and if not,

I'm sure this room is bugged, so we'll

help them out a little bit.

There is only one way to deal with the Americans,

and that is with a firm hand.

You can tell your boss I said that.

I think my boss already knows how you feel, sir.

You see, he admits that the room is bugged.

I like this one.

At least, he's honest.

Mr. Deputy Premier, do you mind if I ask you something?

Something your boss wishes to pass on?

Yeah, in a way. You see--

Sh.

Sh.

Sir, all I--

Sh.

Yes.

Yes, thank you, waiter, two eggs will be fine.

Yes, please. Sh.

Sh.

Sir, all I want--

Sh.

Come.

Come, come, come.

Now we can talk.

They can't hear us with the water running.

I must tell you, I'm very pleasantly surprised.

I like the way your boss works.

Now what is he willing to offer for our part,

the question of intermediate range missiles--

Missiles?

No, sir, this doesn't have anything to do with missiles.

Then what are we doing talking in the bathroom?

You wanted to.

Because I thought your boss wanted to strike a deal.

No, no, it has nothing to do with a deal.

It has to do with a Russian woman

who had to leave her child behind when

she left the Soviet Union.

Oh, the human rights issue again.

Yeah, I suppose you could call it that.

Sh.

Parasites, do you hear me?

All those people who left the Soviet Union are

social parasites, and those they left behind

are very happy in the USSR.

OK, that was for the record.

Now then, we are willing to consider letting this woman's

boy come to the United States if you will cut down

on your land-based missiles.

Mr. Deputy Premier, I already told you,

it has nothing to do with missiles.

Ah, computer chips.

That's what's involved.

No.

Love.

Love, that's what involved.

Excuse me?

I can't hear you with the water running.

I thought you said love.

I did.

I said love.

You see, sir, I'm not really a waiter.

Surprise, surprise.

Of course, you are not the waiter.

Why would I be talking with a waiter in a bathtub?

I'm an angel, sir.

I know you're an agent.

I didn't say--

do you mind?

There.

That's better.

No, I didn't say agent.

I said I'm an angel.

What kind of an angel?

The kind that's sent by the Almighty.

The Almighty what?

Not the Almighty what, the Almighty God.

Hello, CIA, this is Karpovich speaking.

Your man is a coocoo.

One of your agents has unscrewed his lid.

Flipped.

The expression is flipped your lid.

Look over there.

Popov?

Popov?

Get [inaudible] and all our security people over here now.

Yes, Deputy Premier.

Red Fox to Red Fox leader, three KGB men just running

into Karpovich's cottage.

Over.

As I told you, comrade, he must

have gotten out the window.

But, comrade, there isn't any window.

Secret doors, big deal.

Oh, thank you.

Kemosabe, how'd it go?

Not too well.

Unfortunately, he thinks I'm with the CIA.

The CIA?

Would you hold it down?

We're not alone in here, you know.

The CIA?

How'd that happen?

I said I was an angel, he thought I said agent.

It was an honest mistake.

It could have happened to anybody.

What do we do now?

We're going to have to get him away from here

so I can talk to him, reason with him.

It's just no good here.

Here, he's surrounded by bodyguards and advisors.

Besides, he thinks the whole place is bugged.

Everything from the flower pot to the soap.

I'm just going to have to get him away from here, that's all.

That's all?

Jonathan, you are talking about kidnapping the Deputy

Premier of the Soviet Union.

It is not kidnapping.

It's-- it's like borrowing.

Sort of.

It's kidnapping.

[dishes breaking]

Mr. Deputy Premier, we had hoped

to be able to iron out at least some minor issues

before you meet with our president tomorrow.

That was our hope as well, Mr. Undersecretary.

What we hope to achieve is an agreement

to take meaningful steps toward arms reductions.

And not just propaganda.

Propaganda?

We have already proposed to remove certain

of our land-based missiles.

Oh, yes, those missiles you were already phasing

out because they're outdated?

What about the missiles that you have deployed in Europe?

Soviet Union will not be bullied around by your government

in the position of weakness that will

endanger our national security.

Mr. Deputy Premier, may I say all our security is

threatened by the very weapons that are

being deployed by both sides.

Then just stop deploying your weapons.

You first.

No, you first.

No, you first.

- Why should we-- - Can you believe these guys?

They're like a bunch of snotty kids.

We don't trust you.

Oh, you think that I trust you with your crazy psychological

warfare and sending me crazy CIA men

and putting secret doors in my bathroom?

I-- I beg your pardon?

Too late for begging, my dear Admiral.

We're wasting our time.

We will wait until we can meet with your boss,

as you call him.

Come on.

Good night, gentlemen.

Good night.

Night.

How do you deal with someone like that?

I mean, the man's a fruitcake.

Jonathan, maybe you better leave well enough alone.

I mean, you are playing with the guy who could push the button.

I mean, The button.

Hey, I know that, but he's our assignment.

We take him tonight.

[mumbling]

Hi.

Popov?

Popov? - He can't hear you right now.

Stay where you are. Popov?

Popov?

Hey, will you take it easy?

I just want to talk to you about the woman and the child.

If your government wants to negotiate human rights,

put that on the table and we'll negotiate it,

but don't come in here--

I don't want to negotiate.

Look, I just want to talk.

Stay where you are.

You can talk from there.

We can't talk here.

So we'll go in the bathroom.

I'll run the water.

That's just what I mean.

Here, you think everything is bugged.

Here, you're the Deputy Premier of the Soviet Union.

I don't want to talk to him.

I just want to talk to Andrey Karpovich,

the man, the human being.

You sound like Barbara Walters.

Get to the point.

Look, I think you better change your clothes.

You're going to feel a little out of place

going where we're going in your pajamas.

Where do you think we're going?

I know where we're going.

Right on the other side of this door.

You mean I can open it now?

That's right.

If you let me finish telling you about the old woman.

Sure, come, Angel.

We'll sit down and have a cozy chat.

Popov!

Hey, pop off yourself, Mack.

I told you you should have changed.

Brought your coat.

Very good.

Very good, comrade.

I salute you.

I don't know how you did it, but it's good.

You can tell your boss he deserves

more credit than I gave him.

I'm sure he'll be very happy to hear that.

You know, you can stop beating on the walls.

There's no secret panels, and I'm now with the CIA.

Oh, sure, you're the tooth fairy.

I'm an angel.

Same difference.

Here's your coat.

Let's go.

Very good.

Very good.

Very convincing.

I salute you all, but you won't break me.

Andrey, shut up and sit down.

You know, you're really starting to get on my nerves.

Jonathan was right up front with you.

He tells you who he is, you still don't believe him.

I believe in CIA, not heaven.

You now, that is really sick?

Must have been the coffee.

You put drops in it and now I'm having a hallucination.

I can accept that.

One bowl of Manny's famous firehouse chili,

guaranteed to unclog your plumbing.

You've ordered food at a time like this?

Well, I got hungry wait for you guys.

You two fellas want anything?

Smells good, I'll try it.

I thought you had a delicate stomach?

Look, this is my hallucination, not yours.

OK, how about you?

He's an angel, remember?

Why would he want chili?

You guys are getting sloppy.

What is this guy, some kind of nut?

He thinks he's the Deputy Premier of Russia

and that we've kidnapped him.

Right.

Look, Andrey, I brought you here to talk to you

about that woman and her child.

The one I told you about who had to leave her son

behind when she left Russia.

She's an old woman now.

She's dying.

All she wants is a chance to see the boy.

So?

So?

What do you mean so?

How can you creeps do that?

How can you treat people like that?

Look, this is a hallucination, so I'll speak frankly with you.

These people are bargaining chips.

We want something from you, we give you some of them.

It's politics.

But I'm not talking about politics.

I'm talking about people.

I'm talking about a woman who didn't get a chance to raise

her own son, about a boy who didn't get a chance

to know his own mother.

You think that your country invented motherhood?

Of course, it means something, but there

are certain things that have to be

sacrificed for the common good for the state.

Come on, Jonathan, this guy is never going to help us.

Of course not.

Why should I help?

Besides, we let the Jews go, then everybody else

will want to leave also.

What makes you think this woman and her child are Jewish?

I just assumed.

Well, they're not.

So what?

We have trouble with Christians too.

I can't help you.

All right, you're going to have to be the one to tell her.

I haven't got the heart.

Oh, really?

Jonathan, you disappoint me.

You're going to bring out this hysterical old woman

and you think that I'll break down and cry crocodile tears.

Your boss made too many sentimental movies.

It's no use, let's get out of here.

No, Jonathan, wait.

What for?

Let him eat his chili, please?

For the Gipper.

Father?

Yes, Mrs. Murphy, may we come in?

Of course, she's been calling for you.

Thank you.

Why are you dressed like that?

It's a long story.

I'll tell you later.

I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.

This is Mark Gordon.

Hi.

Oh, how do you do?

And as hard as it is to believe,

the gentleman standing over there

is his excellency Andrey Karpovich,

the Deputy Premier of the USSR.

Indeed.

In his pajamas and overcoat?

Let me smell your breath, Father.

What is the meaning of this?

I said, what is the meaning of this?

Of what?

Oh, you smile and you talk about human rights

and say you just want to talk, and then you

try a trick like this.

Look, I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about this.

This picture of my mother.

I just can't believe that's a picture of your mother.

Are you sure?

As if you did not know.

Andrey, I didn't.

I swear it, not until this moment.

You are lying.

My mother was killed by the Nazis,

as were the people she left me with.

Finally, a woman, an officer's wife,

found me, took me in, gave me their name.

So this is another one of your tricks.

Andrey, your mother was not killed.

She was sent as a forced labor to Germany.

That's where she was liberated by the Americans.

No.

Will you just listen to me?

She came to the United States and she tried to find you.

Your government wouldn't cooperate.

It was like you said, politics.

I know this is a trick.

Whatever it is you want from me, you will not get it this way.

Andrey, this is not a trick.

You're not my assignment.

You never were.

She is.

All she wants is to see her son once before she dies.

It's a trick.

This is a hallucination.

It's not a hallucination, and you know it.

I was drugged and kidnapped, and now you

will bring some woman who will pose as my mother

to get secrets from me.

Oh, I know how these things work.

You don't know how anything works,

nothing important anyway.

Look, nobody in this room cares about any secrets

that you might have.

And to be honest with you, I really don't care

about you one way or the other.

You're not the important person here, she is.

You won't break me.

I will play your game and I will win.

I will unmask her.

I will break her.

The only thing you will break is that poor woman's heart

if you go in there and act like the pompous ass that you are.

There are no games here.

There are no tricks here.

There are no politics in this room.

There's just your mother.

How very touching, very angelic.

And I thought we were good at psychological warfare.

We are nothing compared to you.

But you see, it doesn't work on me.

I will see her.

Come, take me to your imposter.

It would be my pleasure.

No, Father, or whoever you are.

That woman is the dearest soul on Earth,

and I won't let you take that man into torture her

or to try to break her.

She's been through enough already.

He won't break her, Mrs. Murphy.

Don't underestimate me.

Don't underestimate your mother.

She'll be all right.

Jonathan.

Maria, I'm here.

Did you find him?

Yes.

Where?

Where is he?

He's here.

But he doesn't think you're really his mother, Maria.

He's a very, very powerful man now,

and he thinks this is some kind of a trick.

Do you understand?

Bring him.

Bring him, let me see him, please?

Closer, please?

There.

Now you see me, madame.

Am I your son?

I don't know.

It's been so long.

Come closer, please?

This is even better than I thought.

She isn't sure.

She wants me off balance.

Oh, please, I can't see well.

Come closer.

Let me take your hand.

This is close enough.

What's the matter, you afraid?

I don't know.

Jonathan, I don't know.

Come, Madame, I expected better than this.

Some proof.

Something.

Jonathan, please, help me.

The only picture I have in my mind of my son

is of a little boy.

Kind and I had to leave him.

How can I tell if this is my--

Enough of this charade.

She's not my mother.

Oh, why are you so upset if I am not your mother?

Why?

When my son was a little boy, I would call my heart.

And once, when he was bullying another child,

trying to take away a doll, I slapped him

and he didn't even cry.

He just stood there like a little Cossack.

He said, I hate you.

You are not my mother, and I am not your heart.

And later, he came to me with tears in his eyes,

and said, Mama, please, Mama, forgive me.

Please, take me back in your heart.

Thank you, Jonathan, for giving me back my son.

[crying]

Sh.

Sh.

Sh.

Don't cry, [russian].

Don't cry.

You're-- you're my heart.

Jonathan, how much longer is he going to be in there?

Not much longer.

Well, we got to get him back.

I mean, he meets with the president today.

If they find out he's missing.

Don't worry, he won't be missing.

We were invited into Afghanistan.

Invited?

Like the little boy with the doll.

He invited you because he wanted you to take it away.

This is not little boys and babushka dolls.

We're a nation and I'm a leader, and we have to watch

for our national interests.

Like Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Poland.

So many places you have invaded.

And what about your country?

Huh?

How many nations have you invaded since World War II?

Grenada.

We were invited.

So were we.

Ah, don't argue with your mother.

So many times I wished I could talk with you like this.

So many times when I was little.

I used to whisper to my pillow pretending it was you and Papa.

Oh, he loved you very much.

He would be so proud if you would do something that

would make a real difference.

You have the power.

Oh, Mama, I exercise the power, but I don't have it.

There's a difference.

It's like the monkey that rides the tiger's back in the circus.

After all, he's still a monkey.

Not you, not my son, not [russian],, no monkey.

No.

I can take you back to Russia.

I can get you the best doctors.

No.

I am where I belong.

And you, you are where you belong.

That was the plan.

[russian], my heart.

My son.

My son.

[russian]

My son.

Mama.

No.

Mama.

Not yet.

Not yet.

Not yet.

She's gone.

If only I had known about this sooner,

I could have done something.

She wouldn't have had to live like this.

She would have had doctors.

In the Soviet Union, we would not have let her end like this.

Where are your social programs?

Why can't you help older people better than you do?

When all the money goes to buy weapons to keep up with you

guys, sometimes there's not enough

left to take care of our own.

Mark.

I'm sorry about his mother.

He asked a question, I answered.

She spoke of a plan.

I don't know what she meant.

She told me the same thing.

She didn't know why she wasn't allowed to raise her son,

but that she had faith there was a plan.

Faith?

What good did it do her?

Maybe that's up to you.

They're late, as usual, Mr. President.

That's the oldest trick in the book, sit around and wait.

Better have them send in some more coffee.

This is already cold.

Popov, what do you think of what I've just told you?

I don't know.

But, Popov, we've known each other for 30 years.

I wouldn't have told this to anyone else.

I would say it must be most unwise for Deputy Premier

of the Soviet Union to have a mother in the United States

of America, much less to have consorted with an angel.

I see.

Well, of course, it was only a hallucination.

Let's go meet their boss.

I hope you've given some thought to what

we discussed the other day.

Of course, we have.

When you are ready to reduce the number

of your land-based medium range missiles,

we shall be ready doing the same.

Us?

What about you?

Mr. President, could I say something?

Mark?

You always allow your servants to take

part in discussion of state?

Just pour the coffee and leave.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. President.

Mr. Deputy Premier, I don't know what to say.

No, no.

Let him say what he has to say.

I would like to hear the voice of a typical American.

Thank you.

Mr. President, sir, I have to tell you,

I've been a big fan of yours ever

since you were driving the mule train,

but I got to tell you something.

I mean, I wouldn't trust these guys any further

than I could throw Fort Knox.

I think that is quite enough.

Please, let him finish.

I got to tell you something, sir.

I am just as scared of what could happen by accident

as I am by what could happen on purpose.

And I think you guys, I mean, their leaders

and you, you owe it to our two people

to get together and try to find some way so that we

don't get adios-ed by mistake.

I mean, you are our leaders.

We can't do it.

You're the only ones who can.

Well, that's all I've got to say.

Thank you.

Now, then, where were we?

No, no, no, politics as usual, Popov.

No more monkeys.

Mr. President, you and I are the two most powerful people

in the history of the world.

We have the power to make children

orphans and mothers childless.

Surely, we must have the power to do what he just said.

It won't be easy.

There will be many opposed, both in your camp and mine,

but as one of your great Americans once said,

even the greatest journey must start with one single step.

I am ready to take that first, tentative, frightening step

if you are.

Mr. Karpovich, if you meant what you said,

you just made my day.

And the word from the summit today

is that the President and Deputy Premier Karpovich met

for several hours after their scheduled talks

in what was described as a fireside chat.

Though no particulars are known as of yet,

the very fact that the two leaders met face

to face for what was characterized

as a frank and open exchange of views

is seen as a positive step.

[theme music]