Original subtitles

What's so funny?

Our Spanish teacher, Mr. Fuentes,

got food poisoning and puked all over some kid in class!

It caused a puke chain reaction.

Then I told everyone it was Sloppy Joes for lunch

and it started all over again!

How is that funny?

How is it not?

Ugh, Hartley, you just don't get comedy.

Luckily, Milo and I have the same twisted sense of humor.

Other people's misery just makes me giggle.

In less gross news...

I just became head of the School Dance Committee!

Nope. Still gross.

I've wanted to be in charge of planning the school dance forever.

This one's gonna be at the Round-Up.

It's way bigger than the gym.

Plus, we won't have to walk by

a bin of jockstraps to get to the dance floor.

Ugh. Dances are bad enough.

How lame do you have to be to want to plan one?

I want to be on the planning committee!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

And we have a winner!

Dances are an essential part of the high school experience,

and I've always wanted to go.

And, now I can help plan my first one.

Well, I could use an idea guy.

Welcome aboard!

Just hope I don't make ya walk the plank, matey!

Not sure why I went down this weird pirate path.

What's going on?

Look, the mascot has flowers!

Looks like someone's getting a promposal.

A what?

When a person really likes someone, they stage

an elaborate production to ask them to the dance.

I feel sorry for the sucker

who has to do all of this just to get a date.

Milo?

Yeah, that tracks.

Milady, will you do the honor of going

to the dance with me?

Go on, Hartley. Give the kid an answer.

Uh... I don't think he's asking me.

Well then, who's he asking?

A-M-Y! Amy!

Oh.

Oh, no.

Can you hurry up and say you'll go to the dance with me?

My knee still hurts from a recent Renaissance fair debacle.

Yeah, that's not something you want to say out loud.

Can you excuse us?

What do I do?

I thought Milo and I were just friends.

You see? This is what I get

for not despising everyone.

Somehow, Milo managed to cram in everything you hate.

Uh, a school dance, a marching band,

and cheerleaders,

all while embarrassing you in public.

This is priceless.

Keep talking, and I'll find a new use for that trombone.

Look, I don't wanna hurt Milo's feelings,

but this is definitely not happening.

Then say, "no."

Milo clearly mistook your kindness

for something else, and...

you just have to make things clear.

I don't even know how he mistook it for kindness.

All right, now get out there

and crush that little boy's dreams!

Okay. Here it goes.

Look, Milo,

I appreciate you putting this whole thing together.

Can you put the letters down?

But I just don't like you like that.

Wait, you think I like you like that? Ewww!

Okay, I get the point.

You don't need that many W's.

I only asked you to the dance because you're my friend,

and I thought it might be fun.

Plus, I didn't want to have to go with my mom... again.

Well, if you're only asking me as a friend,

then why the over-the-top promposal?

I figured if I made a public spectacle,

it would be harder for you to say "no,"

like other girls do.

So, what do ya say...

friend?

Very manipulative.

I respect that.

Sure. Why not?

Ah. She said, "yes!"

Hit it, y'all!

Seriously?

When they said they had a hard out at 8:05,

they weren't kidding.

-Mom? -Mmm?

I think we have a problem.

I know.

Our mayo is past the expiration date,

but I cannot stand a dry hoagie.

Besides, is 1998 really that long ago?

No! I mean, ever since I gave Dad

my kinetic manipulation power,

weird things have been happening around the house.

Well, I haven't noticed anything.

Oh!

Hey! Get your own questionable hoagie.

-Everything okay in here? -No!

You just hit me in the face with Mom's sandwich.

No harm, no foul.

Still gonna eat it.

Sorry! I was trying to pick up my phone,

which was next to the sandwich.

Sounds like you're having trouble with

your kinetic manipulation.

Maybe I should give you some pointers.

I'm a genius! I don't need pointers!

Well, your mom didn't just make lunch off your face!

Oh, relax! I'll get you a napkin.

Aah!

I never liked that plate.

Guess what theme I picked for the school dance?

It's "Beyond The Stars."

What do you think?

I think we should be concerned that your drawing skills

are that of a fifth-grader.

All right, Amy, here's your water.

And Hartley, here's a list of reasons

why we should drop your theme,

and go with mine. "Under The Sea."

Under The Sea?

More like, "Under the Whelming."

Hey, it may be overused, but it's my first dance,

and I want to be surrounded by sea creatures when I bust out the Stanky Legg.

The Stanky Legg? That's, like, 10 years old--

I am doing the Stanky Legg!

Well, I've been pitching "Beyond The Stars"

since I joined the Planning Committee,

and this year, I'm in charge.

So, we're doing it my way.

But you said I was the idea guy.

Yeah, the guy who's gonna support my ideas.

When you're in charge, you can have all

the plastic lobsters you want.

Nope. That's the thing, I would use real lobsters!

Ohh! Milo!

Sorry. I am pretty stealthy.

My mom says I have the prance of a young deer.

Anyways, I just wanted to go over a couple details

before the dance.

Oh, sure. The details are I don't dance,

I'm not gonna talk much, and I will not enjoy it.

This is serious stuff, Amy.

For starters, our outfits need to be color-coordinated.

So, it's up to you to find something peach.

Oh, and I'll wear whatever I want.

Sorry, I forgot to add that detail.

I also signed us up for Foxtrot lessons.

I know it's a little old-school, but we're bringing it back, baby!

No. We're not.

No, we're not!

Finally, I made you a list of flowers I'm allergic to,

so you know what to avoid when buying my boutonniere.

I'm not buying you a boutonniere.

You're not buying me a boutonniere!

Look, Milo, I'm only doing this because you're my friend.

Don't push it.

Sorry. I'm just excited

to be going with someone other than my mom.

You've got big shoes to fill.

Literally. She wears a size 13.

Who do you think you are?

Well, I just agreed to go to a school dance,

so I don't really know anymore.

You're gonna pay for what you did!

Yeah, I've done a lot of bad stuff.

You're gonna have to be more specific.

You messed with the wrong girl, Amy Madden.

And I will get my revenge!

I know you want me to be scared, but I'm genuinely excited

to see where this is going.

-Who are you? -The name's Daphne.

Oh, right. You're Tennyson's niece.

Yeah, Colby said you play innocent,

but you're really a devious prankster

intent on ruining the lives

of people who have slighted you.

That's...

-remarkably accurate. -Hmm.

And that's my man you're taking to the dance.

Man?

No, I'm not taking a man.

I'm taking Milo.

Milo is my man.

Well, does he know that?

And can we please stop calling him a man?

We're not officially a couple yet,

but it's only a matter of time.

Yesterday, when I yelled, "get out of my way,"

he did.

Well, if that's not love, I don't know what is.

Not that I care, but why haven't you talked to him yet?

I've been leaving intimidating notes in his locker,

but he's clearly not getting the message.

Might have to add a few exclams, and...

...a doll made out of my hair.

Wow!

You are just a whole bundle

of red flags.

Well, I think Jake knows his place now.

Mostly, because I demoted him from "idea guy" to

"keep your ideas to yourself" guy.

What's going on here?

This little gumdrop's coming at me,

saying she wants to take my man to the dance.

Oh, great. Now, you've got me doing it.

Well, you must be happy.

It gets you out of going.

You're right.

Hold, please.

This is perfect.

If Daphne takes Milo to the dance,

then I don't have to.

Yeah, I just said that.

Well, good idea, Hartley.

I don't say that often, so savor this moment.

Look, Daphne,

if you are that into Milo, then I am willing to...

step aside,

so you can ask him to the dance.

Yeah, right.

Like you'd just back out of going

with a stud-muffin like him?

Trust me,

he is one muffin I am not afraid

to return to the bakery.

Okay, but I can't just ask him.

That doesn't fit in with the long game I've been playing.

Okay. Well, since I'm the one

who clearly got in the middle of whatever...

weird little thing you two have going on...

I'll talk to Milo for you.

Really?

Thanks. You know,

you're a lot nicer than everyone says you are.

Well, keep that to yourself, or we're gonna have a problem.

All right. Ready for your kinetic manipulation lesson?

I figured we'd use Jake's stuff, in case you break anything.

Oh, please, I'm not gonna break anything.

Oh. Okay, then we'll use your stuff.

Jake's is good.

All right, let's give it a try.

Move this trophy to the table where Mom is.

Easy!

Okay!

That's what we in the Chosen-One business

call, "a swing and a miss."

Let's try something heavier.

Ooh, wait.

Just gonna move over here,

for no particular reason.

Why are you doing that weird movement?

What weird movement?

This one!

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm just thinking of the mass of the object,

the trajectory to the target,

and whether or not I'm making a cool face.

Why isn't it working?

Because you're overthinking it.

This happens with athletes all the time.

They get so in their heads about analyzing their form,

they overcompensate.

Well, I do have the body

of a professional athlete,

so I can see why you would

equate me to one.

Just... think of the power as an extension of your hand.

All you gotta do...

is lift... and move.

Okay. I got this.

Game console, corner of the room!

That's right, I'm callin' my shot!

Lift and move!

You know what?

This is all a waste of time.

I don't need kinetic manipulation.

I'm so smart, you all thought that was my superpower!

Did we though?

Dad, it's okay. You'll figure it out.

No, I won't.

You should just take the power back!

No way! I'm not taking the power back.

It's not working. Just take it back.

You couldn't have gone too far.

Come on, fist-bump me!

At least it wasn't a total failure.

You managed to break all of Jake's possessions.

Hey, Milo?

Oh!

What is that?

A little something

I'm trying out for the dance.

You likey?

No. No likey.

-Is that cat hair? -Of course not.

I wouldn't glue cat hair to my face.

It's dog hair.

I just wanna look like a cool dude at the dance.

Well, I have a better way for you to look like a cool dude.

By taking another girl.

Another girl?

Yeah, there's someone who really wants to go with you.

Oh. I know what's going on, Amy.

You don't wanna go to the dance with me.

No one ever does.

No, Milo. That, that's not what--

I thought we were friends,

but I guess you're just like everyone else.

Better tell my mom to put on

her very large dancing shoes.

But, no, Milo, wait! I--

Well, at least I talked him out of that goatee.

Bye-bye, lobster!

Hey. Hartley, have you seen...

Wow.

This place looks great...

is what I would've said

if any of this made any sense.

My plan to demote Jake... backfired.

He's been decorating for "Under The Sea,"

instead of "Beyond The Stars."

So, I've been replacing his theme with mine.

Right. That explains the shark piloting the space shuttle.

-Have you seen Milo? -Yeah.

He's over there dancing with that woman

who keeps showing everyone his baby pictures.

What happened to him going with Daphne?

That plan also backfired.

Milo thought I was trying to ditch him.

I feel horrible,

so I came here to make things right.

Wait. You feel guilt?

Oh. Amy!

Th-this is so exciting.

Yeah, while you're over here

getting excited,

Jake's turning your astronaut helmet

into a fish bowl.

Jake!

Drop the guppies!

You keep your meteors

off my coral reef!

Oh, look who's here.

Oh, you're too late.

I'm already taken. Right, Mommy?

Milo, can I talk to you for a minute?

I suppose.

Linda, a little space, please.

Look, Milo,

I wasn't trying to get out of going to the dance with you.

You're my friend,

so let's just... forget what happened

and have some fun?

- A boutonniere! - No.

Your allergy list was pretty extensive,

so I just went with plastic.

Good thing I grew out of my plastic allergy.

Don't move!

I'll go get your corsage back from my mom.

The only thing worse than bringing your mom

is breaking up with her.

You!

I saw you give flowers to my boo-thang!

I can't believe I'm saying this,

but can we please go back

to calling him your man?

You said you were gonna set Milo up with me.

Well, Daphne, look, I tried, but, uh--

I should've known not to trust you.

Now you've left me with no choice

but to take care of it.

Take care of what?

Oh, you'll know "it,"

when you see "it!"

Jake!

If that octopus isn't going

to the moon, you will be!

You can't tell me what to do.

Unlike my friend here, I have a spine.

If you're trying to scare me,

you're gonna have to do better than that.

What happened to the chainsaw and hockey mask

we bought you?

I wasn't trying to scare you.

I'm trying to hide from dad.

Oh, so he has the chainsaw?

No, he's been following me around the house,

trying to fist-bump my power back.

Well, maybe you should take it.

I mean, clearly, he can't stop overthinking.

No way! I-I'm not letting him give up.

When I first got kinetic manipulation,

it took me a while to get used to it

because I was in my head about it, just like he is.

That explains the time you tried

to pour a glass of water,

but accidentally threw Jake

out the window.

No, that was on purpose.

What I'm saying is, Dad is a genius,

so he's in his head about everything.

We've just gotta figure out a way to help him.

Mom, can you stop crunching? I need to think.

Wait. That's it.

What if we don't give him a chance to think?

I'm sorry, what did you say? I was crunching.

Okay, it's all set.

Here goes.

Dad, help! There's a fire!

The candle fell into the plant!

Oh, how I wish we had some water to put it out.

There's a vase right next to the flames,

but i-it's too dangerous for us to grab!

Oh, I get it.

You don't want me to give the power back,

so you're trying to trick me into using it again.

Great acting.

Right, and you're a regular Scarlett Johansson.

I told you, I can't figure the power out,

so there's no point in me having it!

Why are you so stubborn?

I'm not stubborn. You're stubborn.

Uh, guys. The fire!

Ah, see? That was a much more convincing performance.

N-no, the fire!

Oh. Well, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Wait, that's not enough.

Don't worry, there's a fire extinguisher

in the kitchen! Stand back!

I did it... I mean...

I did it!

Yes!

That proves that when you're not overthinking,

you can totally control your powers.

That's why we did all this.

Admittedly, it did get away from us a little bit.

A lot of bit.

Thanks, guys.

You know, for a second there,

not being able to control my power

made me feel like I was

the least intelligent one in the family.

-Aww! -But now I know

that can't be true, because you two

almost burned the house down!

Jake, I hate to admit this,

but I've been getting a ton of compliments.

The accidental mash-up of our themes

seems to be a big hit.

Yeah. Who knew that putting together

two overused ideas would actually create a fresh concept?

Mm, it works for Hollywood.

Anyway, I couldn't have done it without you.

So, does this mean for next dance,

you'll promote me back to the idea guy?

Oh, here's an idea!

No.

It's okay if you don't wanna dance,

but I gotta let "The Milo" loose!

Whoo! Well, I'm winded.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Sorry, I just...

I feel kind of bad for Daphne.

She really wanted to come to the dance with you.

Wait, Daphne wanted to be my date?

She's the smartest, most beautiful girl in school!

She'd make a way better date than you.

Says the guy who needs a leash for his goatee.

Look, if you like her so much,

why didn't you just ask her in the first place?

I was too nervous. She's way out of my league.

At least with you, I can be myself.

You can be yourself with her.

She obviously likes you.

She was just as nervous to ask you to the dance.

Really?

Yeah.

You two have a lot in common.

You're both terrible at social interactions.

Oh, I am too, but for me,

it's a point of pride, so...

Why don't you go ask her to dance?

No way.

I wouldn't even be able to get the words out.

Maybe it's time to face your fears.

Hey, Daphne! Milo wants to ask you something!

No, stop! What are you doing?

Hello...

Hello.

Hello...

Okay, yeah. Time for some vocal manipulation.

Wanna dance with me?

Sure. Why not?

Really? Great!

I better break the bad news to Amy.

It's a lot harder when it's not family.

I did it!

She was standing there, and somehow,

the words just came out.

Did they? Well, good for you.

My outer-Milo might be a little nervous,

but my inner-Milo is a total stud.

How are you at the Foxtrot?

Almost as good as I am at the tango.

Be still, my beating heart.

Okay, you two are clearly soulmates.

Did you have anything to do with this?

No. It's all Milo.

Good. Then I'm glad I took care of "it."

Took care of what? What is this "it"

that you keep talking about?

That "it."

And to think, I almost didn't come to this.

Why does it smell like smoke in here?

Ah, redecorating.

I always thought this space could use more char.

We had a little difficulty training your father

to use his kinetic manipulation,

but we're all better now.

Turns out, nothing focuses a student

like a good old-fashioned house fire.

-Yeah. I learned that years ago. -Mm-hmm.

The important thing is,

now I've fully mastered my power.

Observe, as I grab a bottle

of water from the kitchen.

Okay, so I'm a work in progress.