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- So today makes the big two - O.

Indeed, my friend.

Could you have imagined that you

would work at Carter's for over 20 years?

Well you find something that

works and you just stick with it.

You and Christine have any plans on

celebrating the momentous occasion tonight?

Eh, nothing special.

Probably just order pizza, play

some board games with the kids.

Just another day.

I got a date tonight myself.

Really?

Yeah, you know that new

hygienist from the dentist's office?

Yeah?

She totally digs me.

I'm just trying to decide if I want

to splash on Stetson or Old Spice.

Vaughn!

Mr. Carter wants to see you in the office before you go.

Okay, I'll be there in a second.

Nice!

Mr. Carter!

The boss man!

He's probably gonna give you a bonus.

We're gonna have to let you go.

Effective immediately.

Brian's got your separation papers.

I'm really sorry, Vaughn.

I understand.

If you wanna come in tomorrow, there's nobody

here, and get your tools, that'd be okay.

Surprise!

Thanks a lot everybody for coming out.

Helping me celebrate my 20th year at Carter's.

Turns out though my 20th year was my last.

They let me go.

I'm sorry, you guys.

Thanks for coming out.

Sorry.

Sorry, man.

So you're just gonna take this?

I know you got my back, Larry.

You're just being a friend, but you still got your job.

You need to focus on that.

Well well, looks like I got me a brand new ball.

Thanks for tracking our ball down for us, Gibby.

Oh no you didn't!

Dad!

What?

He's trying to take my new ball.

Is there a problem here, poindexter?

No, there's no problem.

Gibby, you can keep the ball.

That's what I thought.

Now listen, I know that you've

been mowing this section of my yard.

What you need to know is we're getting a pool.

I need this section of my yard back.

Okay, Roland.

Okay.

Of course it's okay.

You're dismissed.

Run along.

What a pansy.

Always has been, always will be.

So I'm unemployed.

I've never not had a job.

Honey, listen.

Do not let this get you down.

We aren't in any danger here.

We've been married 14 years.

We've never taken a vacation.

I just lost my job.

I'm not Chuck Norris, I can't just

roundhouse kick the classifieds

and have the job drop out of them.

Vaughn, relax.

Relax, how can I relax?

What if I were to stroke out?

You don't even have a family history of strokes.

Well those things come from somewhere don't they?

They strike without a notice.

And now we don't have health insurance.

This could be just the thing

you need to change everything.

Change?

There's just so much more out there.

I love you, you know that.

The thing is, you sell yourself short over and over again.

You don't...

I don't...

I don't what?

Time was, and I didn't give you any good

reason for it, but I knew at least you

believed in me, but I guess that's changed huh?

I can't deal with this.

I gotta go clear my head.

Vaughn, wait!

You know that's not what I meant.

I'll talk to him.

Then she says oh now we can go on vacation.

I can't go on a vacation.

I've gotta figure out where to apply for the food stamps,

map out all the soup kitchens, and

find some of those free health clinics.

I gotta prepare for life on the outside of society.

I'm sorry, dude.

Relax.

You've had a lot laid on you today.

Yeah.

Didn't you say you had a date

or something like that tonight?

Oh yeah.

Well I figured on account of the events of the day that...

Well the truth is she's gonna

have to take a number, you know?

Yeah.

Larry can't be spreading himself so thin.

'Cause...

I got skydiving tomorrow and I'm going to

the gym and I'm taking a new MMA class.

MMA?

I had no idea they offered that kind of stuff down at the Y.

Oh yeah.

I mean it's the real deal.

Can't wait to get in that ring

and tap out some of those clowns.

Like armbar and chokehold and whatever it takes.

I don't know, dude.

Sounds like a perfect recipe for a herniated

disk or some sciatic nerve damage if you ask me.

Well it's not for everyone.

The ladies love it though.

Being fierce and all.

Can I interest you fellas in a couple of figurines?

Why?

What's so special about them?

You purchase one of these, It'll lead

to all your wildest dreams come true.

I could use a little of that.

How much for two of those carvings?

That'll take care of it.

Nice doing business with you.

What would you want, Vaughn?

What do you mean?

I mean all your wildest dreams coming true.

What would that look like to you?

I guess pretty much how things were until today.

Wife, kids, a job which I no longer have.

How about you?

Me?

Well I'm living the dream, broseph,

I mean my Rolodex is full of numbers of

awesome babes, I'm an extreme sports athlete.

I still got my good looks and charm.

I got an apartment, I'm driving a

Pinto which is a total chick magnet.

Really?

Oh yeah.

Well man, you've always had it figured out for yourself.

I'm happy for you.

Mind if I come in and grab another

slice of that cake before I hit the road?

Sure.

What's on?

Some western.

I was made for times like that.

The open air, horses.

You purchase one of these,

it'll lead to all your wildest dreams come true.

I could use a little of that.

You purchase one of these,

it'll lead to all your wildest dreams come true.

I could use a little of that.

You purchase one of these,

it'll lead to all your wildest dreams come true.

I could use a little of that.

Shiny.

Get off me.

Air conditioning.

Get off me, dude.

Larry!

I'm still tired!

We're outside!

We're in the desert!

You're dressed like Charles Ingalls!

This is a dream!

No.

We're just dreaming!

No!

No, check it.

Just punch me in the face.

I never get hurt in my dreams.

No!

Just punch me, Vaughn!

You punched me in the forehead!

Well this isn't a dream.

No.

No, we've been drugged.

We've been kidnapped and we've been dumped in this desert.

I think someone slipped us some roofies.

I've seen this on Dateline.

Really?

Somebody kidnaps two grown men,

flies them across the country,

dresses them like Butch Cassidy and the

Sundance Kid, and leaves them in the desert to die?

You have not seen this on Dateline.

How.

- Ah! - Oh my gosh!

Who is that guy?

You don't recognize me?

I've never seen you before.

You sure about that?

It's the figurine guy!

He pushed us all the way out here in his cart?

And this is supposed to be our wildest dreams come true?

What a ripoff!

No no no no, this is no dream come true.

This guy has drugged us!

Okay, Indian cart pushing, trinket selling guy!

Oh it's on!

It's on like Donkey Kong, yeah!

I was made for a time like this!

Let's get this thing going, Tonto!

Relax, Larry, before you hurt yourself.

Yeah, I know your name.

I know your name too, Vaughn.

Larry Maizel, born to Marshall and Ester

on June 20th, 1973, in Fairdale, Kentucky.

You like long walks on the beach, romantic comedies,

puppies, nice clothes, candlelight dinner.

Okay, that'll do!

He cracked into my dating profile.

Is nothing sacred?

Don't you think you owe us an explanation?

You two have been watched, measured,

and found wanting, but you've been

born to such a time just as this.

I'm sorry, you've got us, or

at least me mixed up here.

Mr...

Keezheekoni.

Okay, Mr. Keyzucchini.

Keezheekoni.

Cheyenne for burning fire.

Okay, Mr. Keezheekoni, we are

not the right person for your...

Special chosen task.

Yes, yes, your special chosen task.

Listen, I'm a loser.

I just got fired from my job.

Please, just put me back on the

couch where you found me, that'd be great.

You're just the right person

and you're gonna help him, Larry.

What have I done to you, Mr. Keyzucchini?

You answer me that right now!

You two will mount and ride these horses due

west 'till you come to the town of Pumpkinville.

No no no no no no, we just want to go home!

People of Pumpkinville need you,

you need them, and you need to heal the town.

You have two weeks to complete the task.

If you don't, you'll never return home.

Heal the town?

What does that even mean?

"Heal the town."

You'll figure it out, fellas.

Two weeks.

Well where are we?

You're in the Arizona territory.

You mean to tell me that you have dragged

us out here across state lines to Arizona?

No, Arizona's still decades away from being a state.

It's 1875, the clothes you're wearing, modern attire.

You better get riding.

Stay on this road right here.

Eventually you'll reach Pumpkinville.

Wait, wait, wait wait wait, don't you

think this is all just a little ridi...

Dear Lord.

That man practices the dark arts.

This has gotta be some kind of a joke.

We're just supposed to get on those and ride due west?

Which way is west?

Not like these babies are outfitted with any kind of a GPS.

Did you see that man appear and disappear out of thin air?

I saw it.

Cool.

You know, he said it was 1875.

How's that even possible?

Just gonna have to get on these things and ride.

How do you get up there?

I guess you just try to put a foot

in here and throw a leg over or something.

Hey Vaughn, I'm up here.

Yeah.

Hey, is this how you steer it?

I don't think so, buddy.

I think you might be up there the wrong way.

Hey, you think that's our town up there?

It's either that or it's another ghost town.

How do you figure we're gonna settle

in there when we get to Pumpkinville?

Figure out what needs to happen to get ourselves back home.

I don't know, I think we're just

gonna have to take it as it comes.

We can get up there and see if they have a church.

Why's that?

Ever heard of a little hamlet called Walnut Grove?

Why does that sound familiar?

Little House on the Prairie?

Oh, okay.

I mean I've seen every episode of that

show at least twice, and if this is the

1870s, my knowledge is gonna be gold!

How do you figure that?

Well I've studied them.

I know their customs, I know how

to communicate with these people.

Well hopefully you know how to talk

to these people a little bit better

than you know how to take a punch.

Come on.

The church.

Let's get down there and see if they've

got a reverend, see if he can help us out.

All right.

Come on.

What's the name of this town, youngin'?

This here's Pumpkinville.

We made it.

Hey, do you know a place we might be able to stay?

The hotel's been shut down for about a year,

but you can go see Emilia at the mercantile.

Much obliged.

Where'd you get that coin?

Found it in my pocket.

Whoa.

Hello.

We were looking for Emilia, is this the right place?

Sure is, Emilia's my mother.

She'll be back any minute.

How can I help you?

We was wondering, half pint,

if you might have a place where we

can hang our hat for a night's rest or two?

Can I help you two gentlemen with something?

They were inquiring about a

place to stay for a few nights.

You aren't in the willows are you?

Running from the law.

No!

Mother.

I have every right to know what

these two strangers claim to be up to.

Ma'am, we're from back east

and we're only passing through.

Listen, we've had a week's long ride

and we're just looking to rest for a spell.

All right, well Laura will get you settled then.

Gentlemen.

Please excuse mama, she's been raising

my brother and I for years since pa

passed on and she can be quite suspicious.

That's fine.

We understand.

Take these two up to the cabin

and see that they get settled in.

Well here it is.

If you need anything you can go see

Mrs. Henderson or Laura at the mercantile.

Hey, do you know where we can find a church around here?

Yeah, there's Doxology Work on the east side of town.

Great, is there a minister there?

Yup, Reverend Callaghan.

Whoa.

Would you look at this place.

Amazing, isn't it?

Yeah, amazing breeding ground for brown recluse spiders.

This is just like Mr. Tucker's place.

Little House?

Stayed in a cabin just like this.

Listen, I'm really happy you're

getting a chance to relive some of

your childhood TV viewing memories,

but the clock is ticking.

We gotta figure out what we gotta

do to get up out of this place.

I hear you.

But when in Rome, you gotta blend in with

the Romans, we gotta take stock of the locality!

This bed isn't half bad.

About the "when in Rome" business.

You think there's any chance that you might

be able to go a little bit easy on the isms?

You can't be calling people half pint.

Relax!

Life's a journey, my brother.

We're gonna find our way outta here.

We just need to enjoy the ride a little.

Yeah, I'm gonna "enjoy the ride" outta here.

This place is Walnut Grove made over.

You know what, we oughta see if we can find a Doc Baker.

Doc Baker.

Yeah, he was the town's...

He was the town's doctor.

Doctors heal right?

They diagnose a problem, they come up

with a remedy, and they deliver the medicine.

I know what we need to do!

Yeah, we need to find a creek or

a bath and change into some new threads.

That's my suggestion.

No no no, he said the town needs to be healed.

So the town would need to be sick

or broken or something like that right?

Okay.

Yeah, well that's it.

We figure out what the town's problem

is and we do whatever it takes to solve it.

Exactly!

And you can't do that without understanding them.

See, that's why I've been using the whole

lingo thing so we can connect with these folk.

I see where you're coming from.

Well then, let's find this Doxology Works and

Reverend Callaghan and let's get this show on the road.

Would you look at this place?

It's a small town.

Small church.

Could fit 10, maybe 20 people in here.

35 if you stack them in correctly.

Reverend?

Callaghan.

And who do I have the pleasure of meeting?

My name is Larry and this is my partner Vaughn.

Nice to meet you fellas, just passing through?

No, we plan to be here for a week or two.

That so?

What's the occasion?

Well we're...

Here...

To do a little research.

We're writing a story about the town for...

For a...

A benefactor, a benefactor back east,

where we're from, and we thought we would...

We're gonna just be here for a week or two,

we're gonna file our story, and

we're just right back outta here.

No need to rush, fellas.

You make lodging arrangements?

Yeah, we have.

Yesterday we met Laura and Emilia down at the mercantile.

They've let us rent their cabin.

You're in good hands in Emilia.

You should meet some of the people here in town.

Get the lay of the land.

I can show you around and introduce you to folk if you like.

Sounds great.

This is Elijah Woods, our blacksmith.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Vaughn and Larry are here to do

a story for a paper back in Louisville.

Careful, that might be hot!

Gosh!

Darn it!

You wanna draw a little bit more attention to yourself?

Well there should've been a

railing or a warning sign there.

Sorry, long day of travel.

Boys.

Thanks, Elijah.

Nice to meet you boys.

Take care.

This here's Sebastian, our town Deputy.

Sebastian, meet Vaughn and Larry.

They're staying at the Henderson cabin for a few weeks.

I got five beans in a wheel here

and I won't hesitate to let them loose.

I think you made your point.

Well nice to meet you, Sebastian.

Hope to see you around real soon.

What is his problem?

Never mind him, he just needs to feel important.

That's just his way.

Fact is, we don't even have a sheriff.

He's actually deputy to no one.

We just allow him to amble into that role.

Figures.

You're acquainted with the mercantile.

Well thanks for showing us around, Reverend.

You're in good hands here with Emilia.

Sunday service is at 8.

Can I expect to see both of you in attendance?

We'll be there, Reverend.

Sure.

You break anything, you've bought it.

Yes ma'am, I'm sorry.

Larry, why don't you just go wait outside, I've got this.

Howdy, ma'am.

Hola.

My name is Rosa.

What's your name, senor?

My name's Larry.

Laurence, my name's Laurence.

Laurence, si?

Yes, Desert Rose.

My name is Laurence.

And Laurence is very pleased to meet you.

Where are you from, Laurence?

I saw you talking with my father this morning.

Who's your father?

My father's Reverend Callaghan, I...

You're Reverend Callaghan's daughter?

He told me so much about you.

Yes?

Yeah.

What have you heard?

Well that your name's Rose.

And that...

He's a minister.

And...

Hey!

Back away!

Just back away right now!

This scoundrel bothering you, Rosie?

Just tell me.

Tell me now and my swift hand

of justice will fall like rain.

Sebastian, go back to your jailhouse.

I don't like you shouting at my friend.

We'll see about this, Larry.

His name is Laurence.

Perfect.

Spreading an alias already I see,

well I had a feeling deep in my

craw you's a no good varmint.

That's enough, go back and mind your jailhouse.

That's the second time with that guy today.

What's his problem?

Don't worry about him, he doesn't mean any harm.

Hey Larry!

Got some groceries, you ready to go man?

Come here, I want you to meet Rose!

Rose, this is my partner Vaughn.

Rose here's the reverend's daughter.

Oh, well nice to meet you, Rose.

Your father's been very helpful.

Yes, that is my father's way, very helpful.

Hope we'll be seeing you around again.

Yes, I look forward to it.

All right.

We'll see you, Desert Rose.

You think that deputy's got a screw loose?

Oh he does.

I mean he came up to me all crazy

like when you were in the store.

When I was working my magic on Rosa.

Listen, I'm completely not trying

to tell you what to do man, but you

know she's not our main goal here right?

I got you, I just, there's nothing

wrong with getting to know people while

we're trying to sort all this stuff out.

I agree.

I know you're an enjoying the journey

type of a guy, right, and that's fine.

It's just...

I keep thinking about Christine.

I wonder what she's thinking.

Have the kids.

Well you know what man, just as easy

as we were whisked out here, that

Keezheekoni guy, he can get us back home.

The reverend was saying that they used to

have a restaurant, the town used to have a hotel.

Makes me wonder, it doesn't seem like

this town is quite what it used to be.

Yeah, but towns like this popped

up all the time back in the day

and then they just disappeared.

I mean you saw all those ghost towns when we were riding in.

Yeah.

I wonder what happened to them.

I don't know, I think they were just

old mining towns, or maybe the well ran dry,

or I dunno, maybe people just went to other towns.

Bon appetite.

Well that was...

Delicious!

I mean we just had our first meal on the frontier.

Loved it.

Well I'm glad you liked it.

Dude, I am wiped out.

I'm gonna get some shuteye.

I'm right with you.

We got church tomorrow and I gotta get

my beauty rest so I can look good for Rosa.

Whatever.

I gotta figure this out.

This morning we look at Moses who

was the greatest man in the Old Testament.

Moses got the 10 commandments from God.

Moses wrote the first five books of the bible.

He led the people from Israel,

out of captivity and slavery, in Egypt.

Why was God so effective in His use of Moses?

Because Moses made some choices in his life.

So we see Moses ask who am I.

What are my choices?

What's important to my life, what are my goals?

And in closing, my final exhortation

to you is accept responsibility.

Like Moses, you make some choices.

No matter what happened to you in the past,

you have the freedom to choose how you're going to respond.

Never take your eyes off the goal,

get a clear vision, find God's purpose

for your life, and focus in on it.

Take chances.

Never, ever give up.

Wonderful sermon, Reverend.

Thank you,.

Good to see you, Wilbur.

I'll be over next week to check on that fence of yours.

Okay.

Very nice message, papa.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Nice to see you boys.

Good to have you as guests.

It's nice to be a guest, Reverend and Rosa.

It's such a gift to behold such

a beautiful face on a gorgeous day.

Of course, nice to meet you again, Rosa.

Could you boys do us the honor of

having a picnic lunch with Rosa and I?

Absolutely!

We'd love to.

So tell us about your lives back in Louisville.

Well we work together on...

Carriages.

On the side we do that, but my main pursuit

is to be a hot air balloon owner and operator.

Really?

How interesting.

That and I'm an inventor.

Yeah, you sure are.

So how does that fit in with

the story you're doing about our town?

Well we've been working together

for the last 20 years on carriages.

That all ended right before we came out here.

I see.

From there we got the opportunity to come

out here, the offer that you can't refuse.

Some of my background is in writing.

Mainly poems and sonnets.

I did most of my writing during my stint at Harvard.

Do you both have families back home?

Yeah, I do.

A wife and three kids.

You must miss them so much being away for so long.

I'm a single man myself.

I've just been so dedicated to my studies and work and...

And all of your hot air ballooning

and all of your inventions.

Of course.

I just haven't made the time to

take on the duties of being a husband.

Not that I don't want to.

I'm just looking for the right woman.

One to love and care for, to honor and cherish.

From this day forward 'till death do us part.

We're pleased to have you with us.

Rosa, would you mind getting some more water please?

Oh sure, papa.

May I assist you please?

It would be my pleasure.

Why thank you, Laurence.

So are you a famous man in your town?

Being an inventor of things and having hot air balloon?

Nah, well yeah, but I'm still the same

Laurence as I was before the fame and fortune.

How about you?

What's it like being the most beautiful woman in town?

Laurence, I don't think such things.

Okay.

Have you lived here long?

Yes, since I was 15 years old,

I moved here with my father and my mother.

My mother, she got sick and died.

I lived here ever since just taking care of my father.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

Yes.

Gracias.

Her and papa adopted me from an

orphanage when I was just a little girl.

Well I'm glad they did.

Me too.

Enjoyed your sermon this morning, Reverend.

Thank you.

That Moses, quite a character huh?

Indeed, quite a person of faith.

He had some problems in his life.

Really?

Sure, he didn't exactly volunteer

for the job of saving all those people.

Had to have been scared.

But he decided he wasn't going to run.

Just too much at stake.

It wasn't easy, but he did it.

I guess sometimes the stakes are just too high.

And failure isn't an option.

I suppose you're right.

What can you tell me about Pumpkinville?

Well it was founded about 20 years ago.

There was an abundance of wild pumpkins

down by the river, hence Pumpkinville.

That makes sense.

Town's fallen on tough times the last few years.

Really?

Six or seven years ago, the

town was bursting with promise.

What do you know about that deputy fella?

You mean Sebastian?

Yeah, he seems...

He seems different.

We went to school together, I think he tries to be nice.

Seems very interested in you.

Papa says he wants to marry me, but papa says no way.

Well I knew Reverend Callaghan was a smart man.

You're very funny.

Hey, I think I found what I'm looking for.

Well I know I have.

And it comes in a 120 pound package of Mexican goodness.

What?

The Desert Rose, Vaughn.

The DR, baby.

Oh come on.

Listen, this whole heal the town thing.

There's this ghost town slumlord Malachi.

Reverend says the town has been

on decline for years and he lays

most of the blame for that on Malachi.

How's that?

Well apparently he goes around buying

up all the land, he runs the people out.

You remember those ghost towns we saw on the way in?

Mmmhm.

His handiwork.

So this is what I figure.

I know where he's at, you and me are

gonna ride out there and talk to Malachi.

We're gonna convince him to take

his boot off the town's throat just

a little and we'll be back outta here.

So you're just gonna walk up

to this Malachi dude and you're

just gonna ask him to stand down?

Now how's that gonna work?

I don't know.

What would Moses do?

WWMD?

Yes, WWMD, what would Moses do?

Reverend Callaghan's talk this morning?

You weren't paying attention.

No I wasn't.

But did you ever see Charlton Heston in The 10 Commandments?

Check it.

Snake turns into a staff.

Cue the wind.

Lots of people.

Hair flowing, beard, majestic on a mountain.

Let my people go!

That was awesome.

Okay, well anyway.

So Moses got the call of his game, you know what he did?

He came out swinging.

That's just what I'm gonna do.

Coming out swinging.

Right right left!

Left right left!

- Bam, bam! - Yeah!

Yeah!

Get in there, beat him down and make him

tap out and you come out swinging, bro!

That's exactly what I'm gonna do!

Yeah, and you just get in there and take a punch!

Oh I don't know about that.

No, you just fight!

Listen, do you have any idea

how sensitive the human temple is?

One wrong punch and you're a goner.

I just thought you said you

weren't gonna take this lying down.

Well I'm not.

I know where he's at and we're gonna

ride out there and we're gonna see him.

That's what I'm talking about, bro!

And that's exactly what we're gonna do.

We're gonna talk to him.

We're gonna reason, just get him

to let up on this town a little bit and

we can be back to Louisville in a flash.

It's on, bro.

How can I help you fellas?

Hey, we're about ready to go

on a long trip, I was wondering if

you could take a look at these guys and

make sure they're ready for the long haul.

Where you off to?

We are off to Pine Hollow.

For your story?

We're gonna go see a guy.

William Malachi.

Malachi, huh?

Watch yourself.

Oh yeah?

Why?

Got a reputation for mayhem and quick on the draw.

Y'all might wanna get some sidearms.

Guns?

Yeah.

Are those really necessary?

Necessary if you wanna protect yourselves.

Boys be careful.

Sweet.

I got a killer pair of chaps to go with these.

Thank you.

Shoes are in good shape, have a good ride.

Thank you.

Gunslingers.

I knew it.

Well...

This is it.

It sure is.

Howdy, partner.

We're looking for a William Malachi.

Got business with him?

We hope to.

Well he's right there, but if

I was you boys, I'd be careful.

He just said we need to be careful,

let's just leave now and come back a little later.

Come back with what?

I don't know, maybe some backup or something.

Backup?

We don't have backup.

Well, you know, a bigger gun like a howitzer

or a Gatling gun or something, I don't know.

We ain't having no shoot out here.

I never said we were, I just

thought maybe he would respect a bigger gun.

Just follow my lead on this one, I got an idea.

- Let's just go not this time. - No no, just...

Will!

William Malachi!

Who here's William Malachi?

Who's asking?

It's okay.

I'm Malachi.

Pleased to meet you.

Oh no, don't shoot!

Easy, easy.

That's no way to treat our guests.

Sorry, I didn't mean to startle anybody.

Please sit down.

Thanks so much.

Can I interest you two in a drink?

Oh no no no, we wouldn't want to impose.

I'll not hear it.

Much obliged, much obliged.

Glasses are small.

Just drink it.

Thank you.

Don't drink the tea.

It's rotten.

It's not tea.

It's tea.

This is rotten.

So.

To what do I owe the honor of making your acquaintance?

Well Mr. Malachi, we're doing a

story for a publication back out

east, which is where we're from,

and well we decided to settle

in Pumpkinville for a few days.

Interesting choice.

Well it's basically the only town in the area.

That so?

So tell me, what would be the purpose of your story?

Well Mr. Malachi, what...

Now let me stop you right there.

Call me William.

Please, I insist.

And you two are...

My name's Vaughn and this is my partner Larry.

Let me back up, gentlemen, and say pleased

to meet you and welcome to our little oasis.

Now about this story.

Are you familiar with the plans for the

Southern Pacific Railroad to come through this area?

I am.

Well there's some people in the

town that have indicated that...

You've made interest in making

sure that the railroad bypasses Pumpkinville.

I have no interest in the affairs of

Pumpkinville or any proposed line there.

It was mentioned that you had some role

in buying up some land around Pumpkinville?

I respect the people of that town.

I can understand why they wouldn't wanna

circulate an idea that I would be interested

in taking ownership and refurbishing their town.

Why?

Well such a rumor, if it were true,

and I assure you that it is not, would

increase the value of their businesses and holdings.

But the fact remains, gentlemen.

I have no interest in doing business there.

What about hindering business?

Absolutely none whatsoever.

Well thank you so much for your

time William, it was a pleasure meeting you.

Well gentlemen, are there anymore questions I can answer?

I don't have any.

Thank you so much, sir.

See you guys!

Well that went well.

Yeah, and you wanted to bring out the big guns.

Whatever.

I'm never gonna get that tea taste outta my mouth.

Tom looked him in the eye and said, like only Tom

could, that's why this town needs a printing press.

That's so funny.

Tom.

Good man.

Indeed.

Yeah, I miss him.

I do too.

We all do.

The whole town does.

Place is not the same without him.

How long since you lost Harriet?

Eight years.

Seems like forever.

Rosa, come see the new fabric mother just got in.

Yes, I would love to.

Hello.

Back from your trip already?

How did you know we were gone?

You were at the blacksmith this morning.

Small town.

Yeah, guess so.

Pine Hollow was it?

Yes sir, we went...

What business do the two of you have in Pine Hollow?

You see Malachi?

- Yes. - Yes.

We did.

Exactly who is it that the two of you think you are?

Mother.

Emilia.

I just thought we could go and talk

to him and reason with him a little.

Oh, and how did that work out for you?

Well at first it was a little

dicey, the tea was awful, but...

Yeah, what did you talk about?

Word in town is that you two

have been dealing with Malachi.

Yeah, we just felt we would ride out there,

reason with him a little bit, talk to him

about allowing the train station here.

He says he has no problem with

Pumpkinville doing that kind of business.

And he lies.

He's a bad man.

Maybe, but why would he lie?

Maybe things have changed.

Maybe he's got his sights set elsewhere.

Could that be possible?

Maybe it is.

Maybe we could get Roger back out here.

Roger's my old friend that works

for the Southern Pacific Railroad.

It's worth a shot.

We could get him back here?

With Malachi out of the way, we at least have a chance.

That could be wonderful.

Thank you.

Well we did what anyone in our situation would've done.

Absurd!

Asinine!

Idiotic people!

Laurence, it goes here.

Right here?

No, right here silly.

Oh.

What would you do, Rosa?

If you could do anything, what would it be?

I'd want to teach school.

I could totally see you doing that!

You'd be a great teacher!

You should do that!

What else would you do?

I'd want to meet my husband, have a family,

raise the children, things like that I suppose.

Have you considered anybody that you might marry?

No, not yet.

Emilia says that Mr. Right will come along

sometime and I'll know it's him when I see him.

What about you, Mr. Question Man?

You've probably done everything with your

big inventions, your balloons, and your studies.

Yeah, I've done a lot.

But I'm thinking that there's more out there.

Like what?

What would you do next?

I wanna be a dancer.

A dancer?

Really?

Laugh if you will, but Laurence here can dance.

He can really dance.

Yes, well please, let's see your dance moves.

Well I wish I could, but there's no

place to dance in here, and man

I wish we had a dance hall, but...

No, you're wrong.

On Thursday we're having our one year

big dance here at the saloon.

Everyone's coming from all over.

It's really fun.

Really?

Yes, really.

Can you take me to the dance?

You can show your dance moves.

Yes.

Yes I will.

I'd love to.

Hey, there you are.

I got some news for you.

Hi, Rosa.

Hello, Vaughn.

I'm so excited about the dance.

Hey, can I talk to you?

Larry?

Larry.

Larry!

Dance?

What dance?

Well they're having some big thing

here at the end of week and she

wanted to know if I'd go with her.

Oh.

Well hey, I got a plan.

You and me are gonna ride to the

Southern Pacific offices in Yuma.

We're gonna talk them into building a station here.

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

It's our ticket outta here.

We talked Malachi into changing his mind,

we're gonna do the same thing with

the Southern Pacific Rail Station.

Well maybe.

Well maybe nothing.

We will!

We decide what we want, we act,

we focus, and we do this thing.

Wow!

Where did Vaughn go?

Who are you?

Who am I?

I'm the guy that's gonna get a

ticket out of this place and get

back home to my family where I belong.

Back home.

Yeah, back home.

Saddle the horses, buddy.

We are outta here.

Here you go.

Thank you, ma'am.

You have a good day.

We are here to see Roger.

Send them back please.

Hi, I'm Vaughn McDaniel.

Vaughn.

And this is my partner Larry.

Larry.

So what business do you have with Southern Pacific today?

Well we wanted to talk to you

about a proposed rail station in

and around the area of Pumpkinville.

Okay, go ahead.

Have plans been made for exactly

where such a station will be located?

Well not as of yet.

There seems to be some dispute as to

whether the railroad could obtain workable terms.

Right, I understand, and I can assure you

that those issues had long since been resolved

and the town does indeed want to

negotiate with Southern Pacific Railroad.

What do you suggest?

We suggest you bring more kids to

Pumpkinville so Rosa can teach them.

Excuse me?

Our want and desire is that you

consider renewing a review as Pumpkinville

as a viable place to put the rail station.

Now the people are behind it and they're

ready to negotiate terms that are

favorable for both the town and the railroad.

I can be there on Friday, how does that sound?

That sounds great, now I assure you sir,

it is gonna be well worth your time.

I'm sure.

Gentlemen, don't forget.

Tell the captain the old war horse is coming.

You have our word.

Good day to you.

- Take care now. - Thank you, sir.

We are in business, man.

So I was thinking.

I could escort you to the dance tonight.

You wear your best dress, I'll wear this rugged uniform.

What do you think?

I don't think so.

Not this year, Sebastian.

Are you playing hard to get?

I see, you pretend to not wanna go

with me to the dance and I work

harder trying to convince you.

It's not...

This pillar of law and justice does not play games.

It's not like that, silly.

It's just I've already been invited to go with someone else.

That someone else wouldn't happen

to be that Larry guy, would it?

I'm not sure it's any of your business, I mean calm down.

I will not stand for this aggression.

Sebastian gets what he wants ans Sebastian wants you, Rosie.

What is going on here?

Nothing, papa, no worries.

This has been a long time in the making.

And now I'm ready.

Sir, I love your daughter.

She is my soulmate.

I was made to love her and she was made to love me.

Reverend, today I ask for your

daughter's hand in holy matrimony.

Sebastian!

Sir?

I see your daughter and I walking down

the streets protecting this town

from anybody who would dare harm it.

There will be children.

Lord willing, they'll grow up to be just like me.

I don't know what to say.

I know this is a lot to process,

but the time has come and we're ready.

I can't give my permission.

She doesn't want to marry you.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

No.

No, not okay.

I for all this.

Coming in town, ruining my plans,

stirring up so much confusion!

Is it always something with that guy?

Hey, I got something to tell you guys.

Emilia, come here!

Guess who's coming to town.

Roger!

Roger McCardy!

How about that.

How'd you arrange it?

Well we went to his office and

we talked to him and he agreed.

And he's gonna be here tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

This is terrific.

We've gotta get this place together.

Laura, go get all the banners and

have Elijah put them around town.

Rosa, make sure all the boardwalks are swept.

This is what we've been working for.

Finally things are going our way.

Will I see you at the dance tonight?

I wouldn't miss it.

Hey, where's Larry?

He'll be here in a minute, I think he's

got a little something special planned.

Wow!

Some costume you got there, amigo.

Why don't you get your dance shoes

out here and show us what you got.

Hit it, Charles.

You look wonderful.

You look very handsome.

You look handsome too.

I mean beautiful too.

I mean I'm handsome and you're beautiful.

Why thank you, Laurence.

Got you this flower.

Very pretty.

Do you want to dance with me?

Yes I do.

Shall we?

May I have this dance?

Very nice, gringo.

Why don't you show me your special dancing skills again.

Show him what you got, cowboy.

Only this time don't hold back.

Just give me the best you got, buddy.

That was amazing.

Well I told you I could dance.

No no, that was incredible.

I thought nobody could dance better than Sebastian.

Until you met me.

Maybe I would've looked better

if I wore a little leather vest and a

little pretend badge and a gun with

five beans in a barrel just waiting to discharge.

Stop it.

You are very funny.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Laurence.

I've enjoyed these last few weeks that we've had together.

Me too.

I think you are so smart and funny.

I like being around you.

I like being around you too.

I like the way you look, I like hearing about your dreams.

I think you're the most incredible woman I've ever met.

Thank you for saying that.

That is so sweet.

I wish you didn't have to go, I'm going

to miss you so much when you leave.

But I know you have all your inventions

and your balloons back home.

I don't care about that.

If I could, I'd stay here with you.

If you'd have me.

I could never ask you to do

that, to just leave everything?

I would if I could.

I love it out here.

I love the way the moon shines in your eyes.

The way it makes your skin glow.

And I love your outfit that

you put on tonight for the dance.

It was very cute.

Did you like my hat?

Yes.

It was very big and Mexican.

It was a very nice touch.

If there was any way in the world I

could swing it, I'd stay here with you.

I don't know exactly what it is

that we have between us, but I feel

like we owe it to ourselves to find out.

Do what you think is right, Laurence.

If you can stay, and it feels right,

then I would like that very much.

It makes me very sad to think

of never hearing your voice again.

He's coming!

He's coming!

I just saw him back there!

There you are.

Ain't you a sight for sore eyes.

How you been?

It's been a long time.

It has.

Yes.

Vaughn, Larry, good to see you both again.

This place is looking great.

Let me walk you around and show you what's been going on.

Excellent.

Is that Malachi?

What is he doing here?

I don't know.

Probably just dropping by to say hello.

Well well well.

What do I find here?

Y'all didn't have to gather here in my honor.

Looks like we've got some business

being conducted here, fellas.

Did I order any business to be conducted?

Funny, I don't recall that I did.

I thought I made it clear that this

sort of meeting would require my attendance.

Since I normally wouldn't attend such a

pointless meeting, such a meeting is entirely unauthorized.

So here's how we're gonna solve this little problem.

You, Roger, are gonna get back on that horse you rode in on.

The rest of you?

I order to return back to your

meaningless and pointless lives.

Why don't you back it down about 10 notches, partner.

You ain't got no say in what we're

doing here, so why don't you skedaddle?

I see.

Well looks like we have no say-so here, boys.

I must've been mistaken.

I guess we should just get on our horses and skedaddle.

Or on second thought.

Sebastian!

Sebastian.

Rosie.

Is that you?

Whoops!

Did I do that out loud?

I'm sorry, that was an accident.

I know there's been "accidents" here before.

I would hate to see any other tragedy befall

this pathetic excuse for a town, so why don't

you all just go back to wherever it is you usually are.

It'd be your safest option.

Any objections?

Wonderful.

You're free to return to nothingness.

And you'll do it.

If you know what's good for you.

What just happened?

Malachi just happened.

He wasn't a thing like that the last time we met him.

I thought you had this taken care of.

Yeah, they had it worked out.

Now he's gonna be back and burn down the town.

That's right.

This was a great place to live 'till you two came to town.

Thanks a lot!

Oh come on!

Seriously.

Rosa, wait, wait!

Haven't you caused enough trouble already?

Just a minute.

These boys aren't to blame for this, Malachi is.

We can work something out.

Captain, I'm sorry.

There are still too many unresolved issues at

play here for the railroad to get further involved.

It's just company policy.

Sir, if I may please, I don't know

what Malachi was doing here, but if

you'd just allow us another chance.

I'm afraid that's entirely out of the question.

I'm sorry, I really am.

I'm sorry I wasted your time coming here.

At least allow me to let you stay at my home tonight.

I accept, thank you very much.

Hey.

How's your head?

Awful.

Thanks to you.

I'm sorry he hit you.

I know it must've really hurt.

In fact, I bet you have a stage three concussion.

Look, how many fingers am I holding up?

Get your hand away from my face!

Why don't you calm down, you psychopath?

Don't you insult me.

I have half a mind...

Do what?

You feeling froggy?

Why don't you jump?

Calm down.

You want some.

Really?

Calm down.

You asked for it.

- Whoa! - Whoa, whoa!

By the power vested in me in the

territory of Arizona, and the town of

Pumpkinville, I hereby place you under arrest!

On what grounds?

Treason!

Now get them belts off and turn around,

you yellow-bellied, don't you say another word!

Easy, easy.

Gather all around, people, dead men walking!

Dead men walking!

I said dead men walking!

Today we's a havin' us a hanging!

Stop this!

Stop this right now!

Get back woman, this don't concern you!

Go find papa right now.

Get up there, go.

Don't we get any last words?

I'll allow it.

Make them brief.

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here

today, in the presence of this town.

I don't wanna die!

The only thing that we have to fear...

Is fear itself.

Four score and 20 years ago.

I have a dream!

A dream that's deeply rooted in the American dream.

Today!

Day, day, day.

I consider myself!

'self, 'self, 'self.

The luckiest man!

Man, man, man.

One small step for mankind and one giant...

Oh enough of your babbling!

No one understands what you're saying or

wants to watch you cry, you yellow sissy!

Where's the lever on this thing, on the count of three.

Here we go, one...

Oh mercy, I haven't had a chance to live!

Two!

What do you think you're doing here?

Stop it this instant, Sebastian Walker, before I

take you over my knee and give you a what for.

Back away from there now.

The charge is treason and the penalty

is death, am I right or am I right?

I say am I right or am I right, come on!

Sebastian, it's over.

You know, with you here, we'll

never get to use these things.

What a debacle.

You think?

Yeah.

All that had to happen was Roger

take a little look around town,

see that he liked what we had,

and we would've been up and out of here,

but instead, in one second, the whole

town hates us and the next thing

we know we're being strung up.

Yeah, well nice work out there, pumpkin cakes!

Pumpkin cakes?

What's your problem all of a sudden?

Oh let's see, what seems to be my problem?

Let's start with you personally

arranging for us to be hung out there!

I think you got me confused with the

little third point of the lover

triangle that you got yourself involved in.

It was Sebastian that had the gun, not me.

Yeah, whatever.

You know, come to think of it,

you weren't really much help up there, were you?

With all your little sobbing.

Okay, and you and your bizarre mash-up of

speeches really got the job done there, didn't it?

Yeah, which is a lot more than what

you did with all your little crying.

Knock it off, you whiner.

Why don't you relax?

You know, now you're gonna have

all the time in the world to pursue

your little relationship with Rosa, right?

Because now Christine is a widow

and the kids, they don't have a father.

But no no no no, you just worry about your

little relationship with your girlfriend, mkay?

Okay, and whose fault is all of this?

I mean you do realize that this

was your fault in the first place

that we're even here, don't you?

Okay, okay, well why don't you

tell me a little bit more about that

because this will be really interesting

coming from the, can I even remember it all,

let's see, the balloon owning inventor

with the Ivy League education.

You ever stop to think that maybe

Rosa likes you a little bit more for who

you pretend to be rather than who you are?

Do you wanna go there?

Sure!

You really wanna go there?

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay, let's see, we met Jacuzzi down

at the river, why were we at the river?

We were at the river because you

were whining and moaning and complaining

about getting fired from your stupid job.

And rather than standing up for

yourself, you did what you always do!

You took it lying down!

"Oh boo hoo, I got fired, time to eat government cheese."

Yeah, well I...

This is a debacle?

You're the debacle.

You don't have anyone to blame but yourself.

You know, I tried standing up to

him this time, and what did it get me?

It got me stuck in this little time warp,

wearing this stupid clothes, with somebody with

the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old boy!

You take that back right now.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

These clothes aren't that stupid.

Larry!

Larry, come back!

I didn't mean it.

So I think I'm gonna stick around

a little while longer after all.

Oh that would be terrific!

But I thought you had to get back home with Vaughn.

Vaughn and I are parting company.

He's going his way and, well, I'm going mine.

It was a pleasure to see Roger again.

I wish it were under different circumstances.

He said we had a nice little town here.

But it came down to the unwillingness

of the railroad to work with any

kind of problem that Malachi might pose.

I wish it would've worked out.

He's coming, he's coming!

Malachi is coming!

He's coming from the south!

He's come back to finish us off for sure!

Every many for himself!

Run for the hills, hide the women, hide the children!

Where are the fine citizens of Pumpkinville this morning?

Hello?

Anybody here?

That's a shame.

'Cause I'm here to thwart your town!

Anybody wanna try to stop me?

What's this?

A challenger?

Run along now, boy, before you get yourself shot.

Does a newspaper man really wanna get

hurt over something as pathetic as this town?

Well I guess the answer to that is yes.

Let us begin.

Ah, two for the price of one, terrific.

Which one of you would like to be shot first?

Well I guess that would be you.

That was cool.

Yeah!

Woohoo!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Larry?

Yeah Vaughn?

You just used all your bullets.

I don't think Malachi knows.

Pretty sure he knows how to count.

This isn't your fight, Reverend.

This is my fight.

What about all that turn the other cheek stuff?

As Moses commanded the pharaoh, let my people go.

Hey now.

There's no need for bloodshed.

I respect you fine folks, I have no quarrel with you.

My quarrel is with him.

I'm not leaving you, Vaughn.

I got this one, Larry.

It's just you and me.

Don't shoot.

I didn't mean any harm.

Here's what you're gonna do, Malachi.

You're gonna get up off that ground

and you're gonna go back to your

pathetic, meaningless, worthless life.

Or else...

Or else what, Sebastian?

First of all, you're gonna hit

him in the head really hard.

Then you're gonna embarrass him in front

of everybody and make him look like

he's a pretend lawman and hurt his feelings.

Get up!

Get outta here!

Go on, get up, get outta here!

He's gone!

He is gone!

I smell bacon.

I love bacon.

Daddy, daddy, rocket!

Where's the cheering crowd to Pumpkinville?

Is this real?

We're back?

Yes!

I am so sorry I was gone.

But now I'm back and things are

gonna be different, I promise.

You're back from sleeping on the couch.

Yeah, yeah, from the night on the couch.

You want some breakfast too, Larry?

Okay.

Can you get one of the chairs from the party last night?

They're alongside the house.

Okay.

What in the world has happened?

I have no idea.

A time warp, a dream?

Like a mirage?

I mean it can't be!

We did it.

I tell you, that Keezheekoni, he's a man of his word.

He said heal the town and boom, we're back.

There he is.

Yikes.

Nice bed head, sport.

Listen, I'm gonna need you to

get that fence outta here by noon.

We're getting the pool today.

Why don't you back off, Roland?

I got this, Larry.

I'm not gonna pull up my fence

so you can put in your pool.

You wanna put a pool up?

Put it on your ground.

Oh my goodness.

I guess you really do wanna get body slammed.

This isn't the third grade anymore, Roland.

I want you to get out of my yard.

I'm serious, leave now.

Cut him down.

Are you sure you wanna rumble?

Let my people go.

Come back again, there'll be more where that came from.

Can I get you a water while you wait?

Water would be great.

Thank you.

What up, cuz?

A little of this, a little of that.

So how was your vacation?

It was perfect.

So where'd you guys go again?

Seven night western Caribbean cruise.

You?

On a cruise?

That's awesome!

Dude, we're dying down at the shop without you.

Mr. Carter says he wants you back big time.

Yeah, he's left me a couple voicemail.

You coming back?

Well...

No.

I'm not.

Vaughn's Collision Center.

And I'm in need of a new service

manager, so if you know anybody.

What's going on with you?

Call it the Pumpkinville experience.

Man, I have done over 100 searches online

and can't find anything about that place.

Some things can't be explained,

I just say thank God it happened.

Talk about an eye opening experience.

I mean for one thing, I am done living some pretend life.

It's time for me to open up and try something new.

Here you go.

Thank you.

What can I get for you to drink?

I think I'll just take a water.

I'll be back with your water.

Pumpkinville.