Original subtitles

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♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ This is a shake down ♪

Good morning, east Texas.

We are getting ready for another Christmas season

and this year you might be noticing a lot more

of Santa's little helpers driving around in delivery vans.

Be sure and check your front porch for those packages

because they're not coming down the chimney this year.

♪ The way you like it ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Just the way you like it ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ So good so fresh ♪

♪ You're the new MC ♪

♪ You got the remix ♪

♪ Keep it on repeat just let the beat kick ♪

♪ Everywhere you go you bring the roof down ♪

♪ Everybody knows you got your own sound ♪

♪ So good so fresh ♪

♪ Just the way you like it ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Just the way you like it ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ So good so fresh ♪

♪ The way you like it ♪

♪ The way you like it oh ♪

♪ The way you like it ♪

♪ The way you like it now ♪

♪ The way you like it ♪

♪ The way you like it oh ♪

♪ So good so fresh ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Show me you got soul ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Just the way you like it ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ So new so fresh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Yeow, vroom. Watch out, boomer.

Hey, nice big scooter.

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

Excuse me. Hi.

You Fast Eddie?

That depends,

you Antonio?

Yeah.

Well, you're late. Not fashionably.

Fast Eddie doesn't approve.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

But I'm here now. So let's do this.

Ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word.

Please?

No. Money.

Say that.

Not until you show me the goods first.

Doesn't work that way, friend.

Make an exception, huh?

Oh, what the hey. I like you.

And I can tell that you are a man who likes

to play with fire, and that's good,

because that's exactly what I've got.

Hot toys, limited edition, pristine condition.

- Step into my office. - All right.

- Nice. - So what do you think?

It's just what I was looking for.

All right, friend, I showed you mine. Now it's your turn.

Hey. - Uh...

All right. How much you want?

How much you got?

What'll this get me?

A trip to the flea market. We're done.

Now, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Oh, man. God.

I knew there was more to you than meets the eye.

All right, what's your poison?

Let me get that big robot right there.

- All right. - The baby.

Eh? You got a lot of kids at home, huh?

Well, I got a lot of nieces and nephews.

I'm, I'm like Santa Claus.

Oh, snowballs. We got company.

Okay, be cool. I got this.

Fellas having some car trouble?

Uh, yeah, but we got it all in control, Officer.

Thank you.

How about you guys show me some IDs?

Whatever you say, partner.

Partner? You set me up?

Antonio, I thought we were friends.

Name's Detective Marcos Fernandez.

Gregg County Sheriff's Office.

And you're under arrest

for the trafficking of counterfeit goods.

Listen, fellas, I've got some connections.

A- all you gotta do is say the magic word

and I can make things happen.

You hear something?

Nope. Not a thing.

Come on, guys. Don't do me like this.

Let Fast Eddie work his magic.

What are you doing? ♪ We wish you ♪

- ♪ A Merry Christmas ♪ - 'Tis the season, partner.

No, I don't think so.

♪ We wish you ♪

You could use a little bit of "Jingle Bell Rock."

For one, it's my car. I pick the music.

And for two, you don't play Christmas music

until after Thanksgiving.

- It's a sin. - If I may, he's right, Antonio.

Christmas music is perfectly acceptable in November.

Sit back and keep your mouth quiet.

Otherwise I'm gonna tack another year on your sentence.

And it's Marcos.

♪ And now Santa has a tall black suit ♪

♪ Santa has a tall black suit ♪

♪ At first he ♪

I don't think your brother's gonna make it, My Life.

♪ Who told him he looked snappy ♪

Typical Marcos. He is going to get an earful from me.

Grandpa, can I have some of your tres leches?

Honey, Grace, no. You already have your own.

It's okay, Emily. She's a growing girl.

There you go, sunshine.

She sure has you wrapped around her finger, Dad.

Don't let her fool you, Grandpa. She's a brat.

- Hey, Hunter. - Hunter.

That's not a very nice thing

to say about your little sister.

Well, it's true, she acts all nice around y'all.

But last week she's my action figure as fishing bait.

Did you catch anything?

Yeah, I caught this big fish.

Well, as I recall it was you, Hunter,

who stole her doll first, right?

Whatever.

It's Thanksgiving, son. You should be grateful for Grace.

Hear that, Hunter? You should be grateful for me.

Fine.

Oh, there's never a dull moment between siblings,

- especially at their age. - Mm-hmm.

Jack Tyler, put your phone away.

What kind of example are you setting for your grandkids?

I'm just checking on Marcos.

He doesn't need a babysitter.

He is a grown man, and he has made his decision.

You're right. I'm sorry.

If he doesn't want to be here, then it's his loss.

In fact.

Would anyone like the last piece of tres leches

that I was saving for Marcos?

- Me, I do. - Hmm. Toma.

Here. Mwah.

It's so good. This is so, so good.

- Thank you. - Oh, you are welcome.

Happy Thanksgiving, baby.

You outdid yourself this year, My Queen.

This may be the best turkey you've made to date.

You okay, My Queen?

I'm worried about Marcos.

He's gonna be okay.

We just have to keep loving and supporting him.

You'll see.

I hope so.

It's just that it's been so long

and I keep praying for him.

You know, we, we all kind of grieve in our own way.

But in time, he's gonna get through this.

You'll see.

Please tell me you are not eating in our bed again.

No.

Ah, there we go. I got it.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Lemme see. Brilliant, babe.

Thanks, darling.

Hey, guys, turn that off and get over here.

I wanna try to get home before midnight.

Bobby, man, hold on. I'm crushing it.

Just save the game, Iz.

Dude, I can't save an online game.

Well, that's one way to do it.

You broke another TV.

I didn't break it. The remote broke it.

- Izzy. - Hey, Iz. Come on.

Get it together.

All right. What's up, Bobby?

Yeah, how did we do?

Good. We're tracking over 50 delivery trucks.

And with tomorrow being Black Friday,

Porch Pirate season is officially on.

Oh, yeah.

♪ Yo-ho, yo-ho ♪

♪ It's a porch pirate season for me ♪

Ralph...

Now according to Sarah's estimate, we should be able

to hit 25 homes per day,

especially the last two weeks before Christmas.

That's a whole lotta houses.

Yeah, what do you think our take home's gonna be?

Okay, so minus the 5,000 that we have in expenses,

we're looking at about 20,000 each.

Whew, that's a heck of a lot more

than we make delivering pizzas in a year.

Ah, cha-ching.

Uh, you guys gotta still keep delivering the pizzas.

- Why is that? - Alibis.

Now listen up. Sarah's got more info for you.

All right, guys.

So the delivery trucks stop delivering

around 8:00 PM tonight, so I will have a full map

of their routes to you by the end of today.

Then it's picking time.

Yep. We're gonna work in phases, okay?

Phase one, we'll track the delivery trucks

and document the uncollected packages.

Yes, and then I'm gonna be programming each address

into the drone as they come in, okay?

- Nice. - Mm-hmm.

Phase two's gonna be the pickers.

Oh, yeah.

So what's the plan?

We're gonna hit a single truck route tomorrow.

If all goes well, Santa Claus is coming to town.

Yeah, baby, come in with it...

- Uh... - No shot.

Uh, no I don't know where that hand has been.

Come on, guys.

Bro, you need to wash your hands.

Surprised you didn't hit the Black Friday sales, My Life.

I think those days are over.

Plus the crowds are getting mas loco,

and I am getting too old to fight them.

Oh, I don't know about that, my sexy mamacita.

Save some of that energy for later.

Hot old man or dirty old man,

I am working here.

I'll hold you to that.

What's this? Some type of new ornament?

Oh, si.

I got it as a free gift when I did some online shopping.

What's next? A Christmas avocado?

No, it comes with a story.

- Is that right? - Yeah.

According to this,

you are supposed to hide the Christmas pickle,

and whoever finds it gets an extra gift.

The grandkids will go crazy about that.

They sure will. But you better buy another one.

Can't show any favoritism.

Especially with my little Gracita.

Ah, that's very funny coming from you since we all know

that Grace is your favorita.

Of course she is. She's my fishing buddy.

Besides, Hunter's just like his abuela. No patience.

I think you meant

to say we're both adorable and strong-willed.

That's right.

Stop wasting time and pass me another ornament.

It didn't work this time.

Drone activated.

Scanning.

Packages located.

Two minute warning.

♪ There once was a ship that put to sea ♪

♪ And the name of the ship was the Billy O' Tea ♪

♪ The winds blew up ♪

Emp activated.

Standing by. ♪ Her bow dipped down ♪

♪ Oh blow, my bully boys, blow ♪

Emp de-active.

♪ Soon may the Wellerman come ♪

♪ To bring us sugar and tea and rum ♪

♪ One day, when the tonguing is done ♪

♪ We'll take our leave and go ♪

♪ She had not been two weeks from shore ♪

♪ When down on her a right whale bore ♪

♪ The captain called all hands and swore ♪

♪ He'd take that whale in tow ♪

♪ Soon may the Wellerman come ♪

♪ To bring us sugar and tea and rum ♪

♪ One day, when the tonguing is done ♪

♪ We'll take our leave and go ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Before the boat had hit the water ♪

♪ The whale's tail came up and caught her ♪

♪ All hands to the side, harpooned and fought her ♪

♪ When she dived down low ♪

♪ Soon may the Wellerman come ♪

♪ To bring us sugar and tea and rum ♪

♪ One day, when the tonguing is done ♪

♪ We'll take our leave and go ♪

♪ No line was cut, no whale was freed ♪

♪ And the captain's mind was not of greed ♪

♪ And he belonged to the Whaleman's creed ♪

♪ She took that ship in tow ♪

♪ Soon may the Wellerman come ♪

♪ To bring us sugar and tea and rum ♪

♪ One day, when the tonguing is done ♪

♪ We'll take our leave and go ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ For forty days or even more ♪

♪ The line went slack then tight once more ♪

♪ All boats were lost, there were only four ♪

♪ But still that whale did go ♪

♪ Soon may the Wellerman come ♪

♪ To bring us sugar and tea and rum ♪

♪ One day, when the tonguing is done ♪

♪ We'll take our leave and go ♪

♪ As far as I've heard, the fight's still on ♪

♪ The line's not cut, and the whale's not gone ♪

♪ The Wellerman makes his regular call ♪

♪ To encourage the captain crew ♪

And in other news, apparently packages are being stolen

off of people's porches,

and they're not just being stolen by anybody,

but by Santa Claus wearing a pirate's mask.

So if you happen to see Santa Claus running

around your neighborhood-

Hello, sister.

To the reindeer.

Don't "Hello, sister" me.

And call the local-

You missed our family Thanksgiving again.

- Lo siento. - You should be.

Ah, sit down.

And I'll make you some breakfast.

You're looking a little...

- skinny. - Hey.

these days.

- Take it easy, sis. - Ah, just trying

to toughen you up, little brother.

Every year, the same thing.

I come to Thanksgiving, but no, you don't show.

I'm tired of you not showing up.

But then you don't show.

- Morning, My queen. - Ah, buenos dias.

- Morning. - Hey, morning.

Ah. Toma.

Thank you, Maria.

Where's my bacon?

No bacon for you.

The doctor said you need to watch your cholesterol.

- Hey. - What?

Mm-mm. Delicious, baby.

Hey, so, uh, what's new with the grandkids?

You would have known had you been here for Thanksgiving.

Oh they're great. But they miss their tio.

And don't even think about missing Navidad.

And you are going to church with us too.

Now eat.

I'll try to come to Christmas,

but I'm not going to church.

Marcos don't make me get out my chancla.

Think fast.

You gotta get outta here, 'cause when the chancla comes up flying,

there's always friendly fire.

Hermana, thanks for everything.

Breakfast was delicious.

I love you very much.

- You forgot the salsa. - Aye!

Take this, naughty.

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Hello? Can you come to the door, please?

I have a lot of houses to do.

Are you on the pot?

Come on. Hello?

Jack, Marcus, I'd like to introduce you

to Detective Sally Jones.

She just transferred here from Brazos County.

She's gonna be joining the team.

Good to have you part of the team.

Welcome, newbie.

Good to be here.

Brazos County. Huh?

I guess that makes you an Aggie too.

Yes, sir. Heart and Soul.

Sally's gonna be assisting on the Porch Pirates case,

so get her up to speed.

I'm sure you'll find her experience

and her perspective to be very helpful.

But she's gonna cramp our style, Captain. No offense.

Cramp, cramp. Ow, ah, ow.

We're not wrestling the cattle, Captain. No offense.

Well, I, I figure Captain wants us to, uh, solve this case

before you both retire.

No offense.

Well, aren't you sassier

than a rattlesnake on a rose bush.

All right, now that we got that sorted out,

I need y'all to head over to the mayor's house.

It looks like he was the latest victim

of some porch pirates.

On it, Captain.

By the way, I hope you like dad jokes.

Otherwise it's gonna be a long ride.

And Aggie jokes too.

Oh, yeah, I figured.

Did you hear about the Aggie that found out

95% of all accidents happen within five miles of home?

- I don't know. What? - He moved.

Okay.

Whoa. Hi, little guy.

I haven't seen one of these in forever.

Let's see.

- Oh, my... Bobby. - Yeah?

You gotta come look at this.

I think we just scored.

Whoa. No kidding.

H- hey, fellas, we're in the green.

Tell me it's a baseball card.

Or even better, Pogs.

Dude, what's Pogs?

Pogs, man.

They're the little cardboard round disc

that you would bounce 'em with your friends

and play and stuff.

- How old are you? - Uh-uh.

This is way better than that.

A bird?

Now this little guy is worth $20,000.

- No way. - Whoa.

Yeah, way.

Score. We are gonna be rich.

Hey, baby. Where'd you say this package came from again?

Uh, the mayor's house, along with this box

of glass Christmas pickle ornaments.

Christmas pickles. Weird.

That is a score. Stick it to that mayor.

Yeah.

Uh, hey, guys, I don't think we should list this one.

Why not?

I think it'll get flagged.

Afternoon, ma'am. Detective Fernandez.

These are my partners, Detective Tyler and Detective Jones.

Oh, thank you for coming so quickly, detectives.

Yes, please come in.

Uh, can we get you something to drink? Some coffee or tea?

- Coffee would be great. - I second that.

Oh, make that three, please.

Three coffees coming up.

I'm really sorry to hear about your thefts, ma'am.

Oh, oh, bless you.

You know, I, I don't know what happened.

I mean, this was always such a safe neighborhood.

Yeah.

You mind if we record this, ma'am?

Not at all.

Can you give us a list of the items stolen?

Well, yes, it was a box

of glass Christmas pickles I ordered for my staff.

- Christmas pickles? - Mm-hm.

Funny. My wife just got one of those for our tree.

Oh, it's a tradition around here.

You were saying, Mayor?

Oh, and a rare Beanie Baby for our collection.

Uh, the, uh, Beanie Baby's the one we're

most concerned about because, well, we paid for just,

you know, just north of 20 grand for it, uh...

Did you say $20,000 for a stuffed toy?

Oh, no. It's much more than just a toy, Detective.

It's a cute piece of history, really.

I mean, each Beanie Baby is very collectible.

- Really? - Oh, she's right.

Each one comes with its own unique birthday

and poem printed on its tag.

And they were collected not only as toys,

but as financial investments

owing to their high resale value

of particular limited edition Beanies.

Now the uh, supply and demand created a scarce availability.

So it was clever, really.

Yes, and manufacturing began in 1993

with the nine original Beanie Babies.

There was Legs the frog, Squealer the pig,

Spot the dog, Flash the dolphin, Splash the whale-

Chocolate the moose, Patty the platypus,

Brownie the bear, renamed Cubby, of course,

- and then the uh... - Pincher.

Pincher's the lobster. Yeah.

Nerd.

Becky and I have been collectors for years.

We have a whole room full of them.

Oh, I need to see that.

I mean, fascinating.

Do you think that we could see that room

for our investigation?

Absolutely. I would be delighted.

Right this way.

Oh, oh, uh, do you need a hand detective or a cane?

- Funny. - I thought so.

Actually I could use it.

Holy moly.

Dang. Y'all weren't kidding.

It's incredible. Oh, wow, look at that.

What you got, Detective?

Oh, it's Mystic the unicorn.

I had one of these when I was a kid.

Oh.

My parents sold it in a yard sale when we moved.

Oh, well, then since you know how this loss hurts us,

do you think that there's something

that y'all might do to help?

- Of course, ma'am. - Oh, splendid.

I noticed that you have a doorbell camera.

Yes, that's correct.

All right, we're gonna need you to pull that footage, please.

Oh, okay. Of course.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Strange, right?

And the even stranger thing is

we got a motion detection alert.

Can we see that as well?

Oh, sure can. It's the next video.

Looks like we've got bad Santa on our hands.

I thought my doorbell got hacked.

We're gonna need you to send that

to us if you don't mind, Mayor.

Well, of course.

Anything we can do to help you catch that criminal.

Yeah, but what I don't understand is, is

how did this thief know that we weren't home?

Well, we're likely dealing with a professional, ma'am.

And he's probably staking out your neighborhood.

- Oh. - Oh, heavens.

Well, I think that's all we need for now.

But if you can think of anything else,

please don't hesitate to call.

- All right. - We will.

Bless y'all.

Always here to serve.

♪ What will we do with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What will we do with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What will we do with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ Early in the morning ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

♪ Early in the morning ♪

♪ Shave his belly with a rusty razor ♪

♪ Shave his belly with a rusty razor ♪

♪ Shave his belly with a rusty razor ♪

♪ Early in the morning ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

♪ Way hay and up she rises ♪

Sweet.

60 picks in seven days is not bad, y'all.

Not bad at all.

Wow, we are the bomb.com.

Yeah, I'm telling you he's gotta be at least 40.

Hey, y'all, listen up. Sarah's got some more info for you.

All right, guys, so not counting today,

we're pulling in about 14,000.

That's about two grand each.

H-holy cow.

I can buy so many skateboards and tacos.

Okay, hold on. Hold on.

That doesn't make any sense.

You said the Beanie Baby was worth $20,000 by itself.

Yeah, what's up with that?

Sarah was right.

There's a little too much heat on that right now.

It's just that specific Beanie Baby is such a rare find.

They've only made 10 of them.

There's even a registry for who owns them.

That should have been a group decision.

Yeah, Sticky's got a point.

All right, before y'all start a mutiny, let me remind you

how important it is that we keep a low profile.

There's at least three weeks left.

Picking season is just getting started.

Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right.

I still think there should have been a vote.

Y'all can take a vote. That's fine with me.

But if you decide to sell it, then I'm out.

You're on your own. All right?

I can't have the cops on my radar.

And if Bobby's out, so am I.

Whatever. Why don't we just vote?

All in favor for selling the Beanie Baby, raise your hand.

Really?

Dude, it is just too dangerous.

I don't wanna be behind bars.

Yeah, me either, man. You've seen my face.

I wouldn't make it two seconds in the pen.

Whatever. I'm outta here.

Is he gonna be a problem for us?

Sticky? No, he just needs to blow off some steam.

I'll talk to him tomorrow. It'll be all right.

Yeah, I hope so. Otherwise picking season is over.

Yeah. Wii Sports?

Yeah, just don't break another TV.

Pick another one.

All righty, that is one Kate's Jalapeno Popper Pizza

on cauliflower crust.

All right. We'll see you soon.

- Ah. - There you are.

- Glad you made it. - Yep.

Where's your name tag?

Izzy's borrowing it.

Well, where's Izzy's name tag?

- Why would I know? - Uh...

Well, we have one order going out, Sticky.

Can you take it please?

Good to go?

Is this going to Karen's house again?

Dude, come on. Clock's ticking.

Well, there pretty be enough pineapples on this thing.

There's enough for both of you.

Bye, pineapple boy.

Oh, why is everything so serious with him?

That's a great question. How does he still have a job?

Another great question.

Well, it's about time. You are late.

Yeah, this whole daylight savings is kind of killing me.

Here, let's see it.

And there's not enough pineapple on this pizza.

Lady, you look like a pineapple.

There you go.

Thanks for the tip, Karen.

Oh, and you're welcome.

Thank you very much for your service.

A whole flipping dollar, Karen? Good night.

God...

What I don't understand is

how they keep disabling the doorbell camera.

You got me.

Uh, you, you mind if I take a look?

Yeah, go for it. I could use another refill anyway.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, uh, I think I got something.

Dang, these guys are sophisticated.

That explains how they're getting in and out

without being detected.

Did you get a list of the delivery drivers?

Oh, yeah, it's uh...

Right there.

Does it have their routes too?

Mm-hm. It's on there.

Good work.

Oh, yeah, and uh, check this out.

On the night that the mayor's house was hit,

it seems that the route belonged to a single driver.

- Interesting. - Yeah.

Could be an inside job.

We should pull up their contact information

and call 'em in for questioning.

Yeah, will do, Detective.

She's good.

Yeah, she is.

Be quiet old man.

Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Charlie.

Sure. You mind telling me what's going on, detectives?

We'll ask the questions, ma'am.

Okay. That's fine.

Can you tell us where you were

between 8:00 PM to midnight on Friday, November 25th?

Doggone it.

Here you go. I got this.

As you were saying.

Yeah, uh,

I normally get home around 8:30,

but last week it was a little bit later.

A little busy this time of year, isn't it?

Yeah, Detective.

Or maybe you were making an unscheduled stop.

Maybe you decided to steal something.

No, I, I would never do that.

I'm a church going girl.

You think that'll save you?

And was your husband home at that time?

You mean my boyfriend? Yeah, 'cause he ain't got no job.

He's a bit of a deadbeat,

and he spends most of his time at this dingy warehouse

with his buddies playing video games.

Charlie, if I find out you're lying to me,

you're gonna be real sorry.

I'm not lying, Detective.

Look, I've told y'all everything I know.

Will you please tell me what's going on?

I'm sure you're aware that there's been

several packages stolen over the last couple of weeks.

Yeah.

So busy this time of year,

it's impossible to wait for every single person

to answer the door, unless a signature's required.

Your route was hit pretty hard on the 25th.

You didn't happen to see anything

outta the ordinary, did you?

Mm, no.

One of the packages

that you delivered was valued at $20,000.

And you would've got a signature for that, right?

I, I don't, I don't know.

- I was so focused on... - Yes or no, Charlie.

No, Detective. Look, I'm sorry.

It's just so busy this time of year.

It takes so long for people to come to the door-

Wait, wait. Are you sure you weren't followed?

Honestly, I, I don't know.

I don't think so.

And is that your van parked out front?

Yes, the company lets us take it home

so we could do pickups on the way into the office.

That's nice of them.

Mind if we take a look?

Sure. Just be careful.

I picked up a few fragile packages this morning.

We're gonna get you in on this too.

Extra pair of eyes couldn't hurt.

Yeah, works for me.

Please be careful. Those are sorted for a reason.

Or not.

Look what I found.

Let me see that.

- Nice find. - Yeah.

Guess we know how they're locating their victims.

And we don't want them to know we're onto them.

You got that right.

Yeah. I'm putting it back.

- Smell that? - What?

Smells like a stake out.

Ha, that's a good one.

- Go make deliveries. - Okay.

Maybe it was on the wrong channel.

Hey, anybody hear from Sticky?

Uh, not since he dropped me off.

He said he'd be right back though.

He'd better get here soon.

I would hate to have to split his share between us.

Hey, man, I wouldn't mind that.

- I'll call him. - All right.

I'll call.

5,100, 5,200,

and a good old whopping 5,000 Mr. Benjamins.

Oh, no.

Oh, my goodness.

What in the Paris Hilton is this?

Yo. What up, G?

Yo, buddy, where you at? It's payday.

You gotta get your butt over here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, I'm, I'm grabbing a burger. You want one?

No, I'm good. I just had a Twinkie.

Tight. All right, well, I'll be there in 15.

All right, cool. Later.

Shoot. Come on, Sticky.

It's payday, fellas. You earned it.

- Ralph. - Thank you.

- Baby. - Oh, thank you, baby.

It's made of cash.

Oh, no, wait, hold on. There's Sticky's share.

Yeah, in your dreams, Ralph.

- Nice jacket. - Ah, thanks.

- I got it from your mom's. - Whatever.

Now that we are all here,

let's get down the business.

Baby, you wanna do the honors?

I will. Okay, guys.

So not including today, we've brought in about $50,000,

which is right on par with my original estimate.

Of that, we've gotten about 8,000 each off the listings.

And that's exactly what Bobby just handed you.

- Nice. - Yeah!

Yes, sir.

The good news is the average pick should increase

significantly these last two weeks

as people finish up their Christmas shopping.

Yeah, and people should be buying and paying quicker.

On another note, we all need to chip in

and help Sarah get these packages out to the buyers.

- Yes. - Things are starting

to pile up here, as y'all can see.

Does that mean we're gonna get a little more cash-oola?

Don't push your luck, Iz.

Thought I'd give it a shot.

Uh, also, I'm missing a Christmas pickle.

Has anyone seen one laying around?

They're kind of the hottest thing on the website right now.

I need 'em.

Uh, hey, Sticky, didn't you have one

of those hanging in your car?

Uh, yeah.

You know, I didn't think anyone would miss it.

Uh, it's not a big deal.

Let's just keep track of who takes what from now on. Got it?

Well, what about those packages

with the new phones in 'em?

What about 'em?

Well, can I take one of those and you just dock my pay?

Unfortunately, no.

Those get tracked back to us here in the US.

So I'm selling them on the dark web via Bitcoin.

All right, well, I'll take one

of those Christmas pickles then.

- Thank you. - Sure.

You can all do a little Christmas shopping.

Sticky, don't forget that.

See anything yet?

Nothing yet.

Hey, want a sandwich?

Sure.

Activated.

Scanning.

What the heck are you doing?

My briefcase is stuck.

Well, pull harder.

Well, you could help.

Oh, my gosh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Oh, my gosh. - Is that...

Abort, abort, abort!

On my signal. Ready?

Oh, my gosh. Sarah, come on, take it up.

- Three... - Take it up, take it up, take it up.

I can't go any higher. The trees are blocking.

Well, we gotta get it out there, Sarah. Come on.

- Shut it. - Okay.

Two.

Return home initiated.

- Now. - Return home.

- Shoot. - Yeah.

Man, I need a second to regain my breath.

What happened? I thought we had 'em.

We're made.

Stupid drone.

Did we lose the drone?

No, thank goodness.

That's a relief.

Lucky is what it is.

But now the cops are onto us,

which is exactly what I didn't want to have happen.

So what? Picking season's over for us?

For a long view, yes, it is.

That stinks, man.

Look, why don't we just lay low for a couple days and-

The problem is, all of the deliveries in our area

originate from the same facility, guys.

The cops have already found our trackers.

They could basically be anywhere at this point.

Sticky's right. You guys gotta lay low, all right?

At least while Sarah and I come up with plan B.

- Yeah. - Yeah. All right.

- All right. I'm outta here. - All-all right, guys.

- Find out what to do. - I'm gonna go

work on this.

Oh, sweetie, you look exhausted.

Put a fork in me, baby, because I'm done.

What happened?

Turns out we underestimated the Porch Pirates.

You poor thing.

They had this drone,

and everything just went to the toilet.

A drone? That's on the top of Hunter's Christmas list.

Oh, Lord. You're gonna have to handle that one, baby.

I'm afraid I'd be triggered.

I will.

On a positive note,

I found another handmade Christmas pickle.

And to top it off, I think the seller is local.

Good to support local businesses.

Oh, they even have that game that Grace wants.

Emily has been searching high and low for it.

Mm-hm.

And they also carry a limited edition bell

from "It's a Wonderful Life."

You know how special that movie is to me.

And since you're such a last minute shopper,

I emailed the link to you.

Jack.

In case you were wondering what to get me.

Hey, Marcos.

- Detective. - Sally.

- Sally. - Yeah.

- You look pretty. - Well, thanks.

Uh, do you wanna join us?

And talk about apples, cookies and ID addresses?

Yeah. Well, thanks, I'll set this one out.

Oh, come on.

They're more fun than you give 'em credit for.

Oh, and hey, maybe you can uh, fill 'em in

about how you let the drone get away.

They'd get a kick out of that.

Yeah. Thanks for the reminder.

I'm sure I looked pretty crazy.

Oh, you did. But it was cute.

Uh, hey, offer still stands if you change your mind. Okay?

- Appreciate it. - Oh, and uh, Detective,

it's IP address not ID address.

Noted. ♪ Now I can always say ♪

♪ The show must go on ♪

♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me ♪

♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪

♪ On the second day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me ♪

♪ Two turtle doves ♪

♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪

♪ On the third day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me ♪

And that was me and Jack's first stake out together.

It must be a hoot working

with your brother-in-Law.

Ah, he's more like a big brother to me.

He's a bit of a goofball, but I'll tell you,

no one else I'd rather pick to have my back.

Well, you both have made me feel at home here,

so thanks for that.

You're welcome.

Always like to give the newbies a little bit of a hard time.

Especially if they're, you know, Aggies.

Ah, well, trust me.

Being a female cop, I've had to deal

with my fair share of crap, so.

What brought you back to good old East Texas anyway?

Oh, uh, my family, particularly my parents.

My dad's had some health issues lately,

so I wanted to be home.

And when I saw that Gregg County had an opening,

I jumped on it.

I'm glad you did.

I didn't know you were married.

- Was. - Sorry.

I, I didn't mean to pry. Must be the detective in me.

It's okay.

Jenny died. Cancer.

Been going on five years now.

In some ways it still feels like yesterday.

I'm sorry. That must be tough.

It is.

She loved the holidays. Man, she loved them.

I tell you, it took everything I had

to stop her from decorating the house

for Christmas in, in October.

Sure enough, come November 1st, boom.

Those stockings went up. They went up.

Along with everything else.

That's why it's so tough this time of year, you know?

Hey, but enough about me. How about you?

No boyfriend, no husband?

Oh, uh, I was engaged once.

Uh, but it turns out we had different values.

How so?

Oh, I, I poured myself into the relationship,

you know, 'cause I, I thought it was meant to be,

but uh, it took him leaving me

to realize just how one sided the relationship truly was.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, one morning I woke up

and found that he had packed everything up and left,

and I never saw it coming.

Wow.

So much for being a detective.

Yeah, but you can't be so hard on yourself.

Well, you know, I, I ignored red flag after red flag.

And I even forgave him for cheating on me

if you can believe that.

To new beginnings.

New friendships.

Jack!

Breakfast.

Jack, breakfast!

Be right there.

Jack, I have places to be this morning.

Hold your horses, woman.

Excuse me.

Uh, I said, "You look gorgeous, woman."

The food's getting cold.

About time.

- Ooh. Looks good. - Hey!

- That's for Marcos. - Fine.

Ooh, buenos dias. Morning.

Smells delicious in here.

- Hermanita. - Hmm?

- Mwah. - Marcos?

Yes, my sweet, lovely sister?

You are in a very good mood this morning.

I am. It's 'cause it's a fine day in the neighborhood.

A fine day.

Babe, I think we need to put an APV out.

My partner's done gone missing.

Good one. I'm here.

Hmm, wouldn't have anything to do with that new coworker, would it?

We did end up having a couple drinks together last night.

I knew it. I knew I detected a little office romance.

Now I don't know about all that,

but we did get to know each other a little better.

Well, if you ask me,

I think it's about the time you get yourself out there.

The real question is, is she a church going woman?

Now slow down, sis. We're just coworkers.

That wasn't a coworker look

you gave her yesterday.

I want to meet her.

She needs my approval if she's going

to be a part of this familia.

- You two are hopeless. - Oh.

Your salsa.

Ah, salsa. Thank you.

Ooh, la la.

- Morning. - Good morning.

Mr. Murphy, this is Detective Jones

with the Gregg County Sheriff's Office.

What can I do for you, Detective?

Were you aware that your neighbor had some packages stolen from his home?

Yes, I am. It's terrible news, just terrible.

Especially this time of year.

Yeah, well, I am calling all the surrounding neighbors

to see if someone may have seen something

or caught something on a doorbell camera.

I didn't see anything, but I do have one

of them doorbell cameras.

Oh, you think you could do me a favor

and check to see if you caught something?

Sure. Give me a minute.

All I see is uh, some pizza delivery kid.

Uh, and, and what's the, what's the timestamp on that?

8:13 PM.

And can you send that file to my email?

Sure. What's your email address?

Okay, yeah, it's uh,

sally@greggcountytxsheriff.org.

Just sent it your way.

Okay, and got it. All right, thank you.

You have been extremely helpful.

My pleasure. I hope you catch those darn delinquents.

Yeah, thanks.

Morning, Sally. You know what they say.

Early bird gets the worm.

Yeah, I thought it'd be good

to get a head start on things.

Hi, Sally.

Morning, Detective uh, Marcos.

So uh, did you hook anything?

Uh, yeah, I, I received an email with a video

of a pizza delivery guy

from one of the victim's neighbors.

Anyone feel like pizza?

Looks like they open at 11:00 AM.

Well, you keep calling the neighbors.

Marcos and I will go check out the pizza place.

Yeah, I'm on it.

Hey, Marcos,

uh, I had a great time getting to know you last night.

Me too.

Uh, what are you doing after work?

Nothing. Why?

How about dinner?

You mean, like, a date?

Hmm. I mean, yeah, if, if that's okay.

Or it could just be dinner.

Marcos, let's shake, rattle, and roll.

Let's just call it dinner for now.

Deal.

You better close that deal, buddy.

You ready to go to work?

What?

I cannot believe that this guy bought

the stupid bell for 50 bucks.

No way. Nice job, babe.

Thanks.

Uh, oh.

Hi. What can I get started for you guys?

Sir, I'm Detective Tyler.

This is my partner, Detective Fernandez.

Uh, what can I get for you, detectives?

We're investigating a string of robberies.

We was wondering if we could talk to one

of your pizza delivery guys who made a delivery

around 8:15 a couple nights ago.

- Oh... - I'll handle this.

And you are?

I'm Bobby. I'm the manager.

Bobby, you got a last name?

Bishop. Bobby Bishop.

What's Sarah's last name?

Uh, Watson.

Bobby, does this kid look familiar to you?

Uh, yeah, yeah, that's Sticky.

- Sticky. - Yeah.

Why am I guessing that's not his real name?

No, that's just what we all call him.

What is his real name?

Uh, uh, you know, his parents named him

after some country singer.

Uh, Kenny, Kenny, uh...

Hey, babe, what's the name of that country singer

that Sticky's named after?

Kenny... Rogers?

Oh, yeah, that's it. Kenny Rogers.

Well, this Kenny Rogers made a delivery

around the time of a robbery.

Did he?

Yeah, I was hoping we could ask him some questions,

maybe see if he saw anything out of the ordinary.

Yeah. Uh, hey, Sarah, is Sticky supposed to come in today?

Uh, I'm not sure. Let me check.

One sec, guys.

Let's see. Uh...

Yeah, looks like seven o'clock.

7:00.

All right, when he comes in,

have him give us a call, will you?

Will do, Detective.

And hey, you guys want a pizza or something

before you leave?

It's on in the house.

Oh, that sounds delicious.

Yeah, no can do. He's watching his carbs.

Oh...

- See you later, guys. - Yeah. Thank you.

Thanks for your time, folks. I appreciate it.

Hey, so what'd you think?

Man, why'd you turn down pizza?

I mean about Bobby and Sarah.

Oh, Bobby, man. He definitely had a stench about him.

And it wasn't the onions.

And Sarah, she was definitely on the edge.

I agree.

Hey, maybe we should put a tail out on Sticky,

Kenny or whatever his name is.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

All right.

- Hey, Marcos. - Hey, Sally.

I need you to dig up whatever you can on uh, Kenny Rogers.

Kenny Rogers?

Hey, Sally. Jack here.

Kenny Rogers is the name of that delivery guy.

You know, from the video.

Well, with a name like that,

you think he'd know when to walk away.

- Wow. - She's a real keeper.

Focus on the case.

What are we gonna do now, Bobby?

The cops are way too close on us now because of Sticky.

Yeah, don't worry about it. I got it, babe, okay?

Oh, you got it?

- Yeah, yeah, I got it. Okay? - Oh, yeah.

Just gimme a sec. Geez.

What's up, Bobby?

Hey, don't come into work today.

Why? What's popping?

The cops were just in here asking about you.

You're not going extracurricular on us, are you?

I don't know what you're talking about.

They said that there was a robbery in your neighborhood

on a night where we didn't schedule a pick.

Okay, but it wasn't me.

Wait, are you ratting me out, Bobby?

What? No, why would I rat you out?

What did you tell the cops?

Bro, calm down. I didn't tell them anything, okay?

We're gonna have an emergency meeting tonight

at 11:00, okay?

- Be there. - Yeah.

Uh, I got something here, fellas.

It looks like Sticky had several shoplifting convictions

when he was younger,

and he did a good amount of time in juvie.

I guess that's how he got his nickname Sticky.

Is there a home address?

Let's see. Last known address.

Uh, it's a house.

I'll, I'll check to see if he still lives there.

Go ahead send us his latest mugshot too, will you?

Yeah. You got it.

Hey, while you're at it, can you see what you can find

on a Bobby Bishop and a uh, Sarah Watson?

Oh, you think they're involved?

There's two things I don't trust. Stairs and liars.

Oh, boy.

And why is that?

Because they're always up to something.

Yeah, that's a, that's a good one.

Looks like it's gonna be

another long night for us, partner.

Oh, you know what Ricky Martin says

when he's drinking coffee?

What's that?

Living la vida mocha.

Oh, my God.

I was on this bad date with uh, this one guy.

I'll just call him, and...

- Order up. - Thank you.

Here comes your girlfriend, and right on time.

See, partner. She's reliable.

Can we just focus on the restaurant?

Hey, can I have one of those?

You know you can't be eating this stuff.

How about for an almond?

Focus.

How about some huevos?

- Focus. - Marcos.

I would like to place an order to go please.

All right, what are we gonna do?

I would like the scuba bacon cheeseburger please.

Scuba bacon cheeseburger. Okay.

To go, we can get that out in about 15 to 20 minutes.

That gonna be okay?

- Sounds good. - Perfect.

Lemme give you this number here.

We'll have that right out for you.

- All right. Thank you. - Of course.

- Hi. - Hi.

I am going to have an Aiden Supreme.

Aiden Supreme.

I heard it was the best.

- Well, you heard correctly. - Mm-hm.

You want that for here or to go?

- Let's do it here. - All right.

♪ I'm pushing hard against the tides of time ♪

♪ So I can see you cross the line ♪

Here you go, ma'am. There you go.

- Thank you. - Get you anything else?

- Nope. That'll be it. - Nope.

- All right. - Thank you.

♪ Well I saw you ♪

♪ Baby why you leaving me ♪

♪ Baby ♪

Yeah, I'm starting to get some looks from the manager.

You think we got a no show here?

Yeah, go ahead and get outta there.

Okay. Got it.

And uh, let me know when you're ready for our dinner.

Will do.

♪ Tell me baby ♪

♪ Don't lead me on ♪

You got a girlfriend.

All right, old man.

♪ Marcus and Sally sitting in a tree ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪

♪ First comes love ♪

♪ Then comes marriage ♪

How much coffee have you had?

♪ Then comes a baby and a baby carriage ♪

You're cut off.

Come on, man. You know I ain't no lightweight.

You have anymore coffee, you're gonna end up crashing.

I'm fine.

You're the one that needs a little coffee

or maybe some Red Bull.

I don't fall asleep on the job.

Yeah, right.

So much for not sleeping on the job.

What are you doing?

Hey, looks like they're on the move.

Just shy of 9:30. Sticky's a no show.

Guess he called in sick.

No. Maybe they tipped him off.

You wanna follow the love birds?

Nah, neither had any priors.

I think they're just covering for him.

Yeah, you're probably right.

You wanna call it a night?

- Works for me. - All right.

Now, this little guy is worth $20,000.

We're pulling in about 14,000.

That's about two grand each.

That doesn't make any sense.

You said the Beanie Baby was worth $20,000 by itself.

It's just that specific Beanie Baby is

such a rare find.

They've only made 10 of them.

Y'all can take a vote, that's fine with me.

But if you decide to sell it, then I'm out.

You're on your own. $20,000.

What's going on, guys?

I was just telling the guys

our season's officially over thanks to you.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Sticky.

Shut up, Ralph. I didn't do anything.

Yeah, right. 'Cause of you the cops are on to us, man.

This is your last cut.

No, come on, Bobby. You can't do this.

No, it's already done. You're off the team.

No, I'm the one who gets to decide when it's over.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

What are you doing?

Sticky. Put down that gun.

Come on, man, don't do anything-

Shut your face, Ralph.

Oh, my God.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey. That's far enough, man.

Hey, come on, Sticky. We're all friends here.

Are we? Are you serious, man?

You all betrayed me.

- That's not true. - I don't wanna hear it!

You ratted me out.

Put all the money in that box.

- Man... - Okay.

Sticky, just put down the gun

and we can forget about all this, all right?

Can we, Bobby?

I'm getting real sick and tired

of you telling me what to do.

Sticky, this doesn't sound like you.

You don't know me!

None of you know what I've been through.

Just put your money in the box.

Just put your money in the box!

All right, all right, all right. Here.

There. You satisfied?

I want what's in the safe and the Beanie Babies.

Sticky, look, you won, okay?

But you gotta leave us with something.

Wait, Sticky!

Go to the safe or I shoot her.

Sticky, please, man.

Bobby!

Sticky! Sticky, okay, okay.

In the box.

Now your season's over.

What are you eating?

Tamales. You want some?

Where'd you get 'em?

The store.

No thanks.

Are you sure? There's plenty to go around.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I only eat real tamales and those just don't cut it.

You might as well have brought a sandwich, 'cause those smell like butt.

No way.

It cannot be this easy.

Who on earth would be calling at this time of night?

It's probably about the case, baby. It's Marcus.

Yes.

Why don't you.

So you don't have time for us tonight, huh?

You know it's a family tradition to sit down

and watch "It's a Wonderful Life."

Maria, I-

Oh, I don't want to hear it, Marcos.

I told you about tonight a week ago.

And if you do this on Navidad, you are going

to get more than a lump of coal in your stocking.

I'm sorry, sis. Something important has come up.

Can you put Jack on?

Oh, fine. I don't want to talk to you anyway.

Marcos, never listens.

Hey, buddy. What's up?

I'm a fool.

Listen, we got a hit on the Beanie Babies.

Computer geeks traced the PP and got an address.

That's an IP address.

Ah, is that a certain Sally I hear with you?

Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, we're going through the case.

Going over the case at nine o'clock?

Just be ready. We're gonna pick you up in 15 minutes.

I'll be ready.

- Situation. - Please give me my robe.

Hmm.

Where are you going?

Doesn't get in a situation like this every day.

Sorry, babe.

I thought you had my robe.

Not in Bedford Falls, anyway.

Always Marcos.

Sorry to cut the date short.

You said date.

- I did? - Yeah, you did.

Well, I guess I'll make it up to you.

Cover the perimeter.

Looks like we're at the right place.

Bedroom all clear.

Hold on.

Sticky.

We know you're still here, bud.

Gun fired!

How was your evening, mi amor?

Not good.

What happened?

I shot a kid

and over a stupid stuffed animal.

He's all right now, but...

Oh, Jack. Lo siento.

You are a good papa and abuelo,

and husband.

With a big heart.

That is why I love you so much.

If he had just come out when we called him,

instead of hiding under the bed.

I guess that makes him the coward of the county.

What?

Sears. 1973.

'74. - Don't speak until we speak to you.

Ooh. Scared.

You definitely should be.

All right. I got this.

All right, we know you didn't do all those jobs alone.

Why? You don't think I'm smart enough?

Well that, and we suspect one of your coworkers

from the pizza joint.

That, and you can't be in two places at once.

Look, I already confessed.

What more do you want from me?

Son, you're all out of aces here.

The best thing you can do is cooperate,

and maybe we'll cut you a deal.

I ain't your son.

Besides, you freaking shot me.

All right.

Whatever. Whatever.

Even if I knew something, not saying I do,

because I'm not an idiot, I ain't no snitch.

Where's the stuff you stole, Kenny?

Goodwill. Great organization.

Okay, I see. You think you're a tough guy.

Well, with your record, you'll be doing 20 easy,

then we'll see how tough you are.

I ain't got no record, pig.

Watch your mouth, boy.

You watch your mouth.

Maybe a night in our holding cell will change your tune.

Depends. What kind of tunes you guys got?

Yeah, we're all set here.

1974. That's what it is.

Well, I guess the mayor's gonna have

to wait a little longer for you.

What do we have here?

Hey, buddy. You missing a package?

Well, yeah. Still waiting on Maria's Christmas gift.

Think you're in luck.

Yeah, that's the company I ordered it from.

- That's weird. - What?

Doesn't look like it's been shipped.

Pull up, uh, that Santa's Texas Workshop website.

You know what?

I bet our guys can track the EP address from this site.

It's called...

Nevermind.

You know, let, let's compare a list of stolen items

with the website and see what we find.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Clear.

Dang it.

It seems like they're always one step ahead of us, man.

Not over yet. We still got the PO box.

Should have something on that tomorrow.

Oh, heck no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Not again.

Just keep this on the down low.

Yeah, we don't need the office knowing

we just got outsmarted by a toy.

Technically they're OM2.

Oh, man.

Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.

Stupid drone.

Ah, got it.

- There we go. - Perfect.

Good idea flagging the police station's IP address, babe.

Ah, I mean, after the last little run in we had

with the cops, figured it wasn't a bad idea.

Well, as long as Sticky doesn't talk,

we'll be in the clear.

I mean, the only thing we have left

to worry about is the PO Box.

But good luck finding Santa at the North Pole.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

- Yeah! - Woo-hoo, woo-hoo!

Come on, get 'em.

Hello, hello?

Marcos. What a surprise.

- Marcos, Marcos! - Tio!

Hey. Grab these, grab these, buddy.

- Hey, sweetie. - Oh, come on.

Come on, Grace.

What a surprise.

Little sister.

How are you?

Oh, I'm bien, bien.

You look real good.

So uh, this must be the senorita I've been hearing

so much about from Jack.

- This is Sally. - That's me.

It's uh... Sally, this is my sister.

It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Maria.

Nice to meet you.

Tio Marcos, can we open our presents now?

I mean, you gotta ask Mom.

Not until Christmas, honey.

Come on, Mom. Just one?

I have a better idea.

Let's see if you two can find the Christmas pickles

that I have hidden in the tree.

If you find them, you will get a special gift.

Oh, sorry. Hey.

- They hidden. - We will see about that Hunter.

- Ah! - I found it.

Hold on. Ah, this one.

There.

You're getting close. Keep looking.

- Very special. - I see it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get it for you.

Hey, can I see that package, please?

Yeah, you can see it.

Let's open it, let's open it, let's open it.

It's got your name and everything.

Those pickles turned out to be popular.

Tell me about it.

I wish I would've been picked

for the so-called Secret Santa.

Ah, don't worry, sweetie.

Santa took very good care of you too this year.

- Ah, thanks, Ma. - Yeah.

So, Marcos, how long have you

and Sally been seeing each other?

Oh, we're, we're taking things slowly.

Ah, I see.

Yes, there was a box of glass Christmas pickles

I ordered for my staff.

Oh, gosh. I've served what, 10 years so far?

10 years of a life sentence, Mister.

What is it, Marcos?

Hey, sis.

Did you purchase that glass pickle

from the same website you shared with Jack?

Yes, why?

What are the odds of the whole group having

that exact glass pickle?

- Who feels like pizza? - I'll drive.

Where do you all think you're going? It's Christmas Eve.

Crime doesn't take a holiday, sis.

Don't worry, Maria. I promise this won't take long.

It's okay, Mom. It's okay.

I can't believe we lost the warehouse.

Yeah, do you really think Sticky ratted us out?

Maybe. Dude pretty much just looks out for himself.

So wouldn't surprise me.

Guys, it's not a big deal.

We covered our tracks pretty good. We should be fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we still need to way low. All right?

Give us time to think about moving our operation to another state next year.

Well... As it's not the East coast,

'cause you know, I don't like the cold weather.

Yo, there's cops! Go, go, go.

Go out the back. Out the back.

Go, go, go. Move this.

Go, go, go, go, go.

- Freeze! - Freeze!

Dang it.

Got you this time.

Follow your buddy here.

Get down on your knees right now.

- Let's go. - Fine.

- Let's go. - Fine, fine.

- Go on, do it. - Okay.

Get him outta here.

Not bad for your first case, Detective.

I'm just glad you were able to keep up with me.

Good one.

Let's get out of here.

- It's cold. - Yeah.

Merry Christmas, East Texas.

And a bit of a Christmas miracle last night

as Santa Claus was arrested.

Not the one you're thinking about.

These are the ones who were dressing up as pirates

and stealing packages off of your porches.

They were arrested and charged with the theft

of over $60,000 worth of packages.

For the time being, it seems these guys are

on Santa's naughty list.

- Mom, Dad, wake up. - Oh, Gracie.

Santa came!

Just give us, like, five more minutes, sweetie.

- Yeah, honey. - Oh...

- Oh, okay. - No, now, Dad.

Mom. - Okay, sweetie.

Hunter's already trying to open the presents.

- What? - No, I'm not.

Okay, okay. Come on, sweetie.

I'll get the coffee started. All right, I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Just five more minutes.

♪ Holly hanging cross the door ♪

♪ Neighbors singing tales of yore ♪

♪ It's so close ♪

♪ Hardly can wait ♪

♪ Waking up on Christmas ♪

♪ Children dreaming ♪

♪ Without a care ♪

♪ 'Tis the season ♪

♪ Most everywhere ♪

♪ So come home ♪

♪ There's no better place ♪

♪ Waking up on Christmas Day ♪

♪ Grab your stocking ♪

♪ Above the fire ♪

♪ Bells are rocking ♪

♪ To the choir ♪

♪ No, nothing ♪

♪ Else is the same ♪

♪ Waking up on Christmas Day ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

Merry Christmas, Jenny.

♪ Mm waking up on Christmas day ♪

♪ Tinsel wrapped around the tree ♪

♪ Snowflakes dancing ♪

♪ In the street ♪

♪ Presents tied up ♪

♪ With a string ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ And me ♪

♪ So grab your stocking ♪

- ♪ Above the fire ♪ - Right on time.

♪ Bells are rocking ♪

♪ To the choir ♪

- Hi. - Hey.

♪ No, nothing ♪

- ♪ Else is the same ♪ - Thank you.

♪ Waking up on Christmas Day ♪

- Hi. - Hey.

Well, you clean up real nice, Detective.

- Oh, likewise. - Thanks.

I have something for you.

- You do? - Yeah.

A little something.

For me?

It's for you.

What could this be?

Oh, my goodness. Mystic.

- How did you... - I figured the mayor owed me one,

and I saw how you lit up at the thing.

- Thank you, Marcos. - You're welcome.

Wow. Well, that's what I call a peso.

Beso. Y-you said you, you said peso.

You mean beso.

Did you learn your Spanish at A&M?

Stop it.

- Okay. - Oh, my goodness.

- Yes. - Here we are.

Yes, these are her famous tamales.

- Oh, my gosh. - Let's get this party going.

Emily and Maria, you've really outdone yourself.

Oh, this looks delicious.

- Oh, gracias. - Ah, you're welcome.

I helped too.

- You did? - Yes, you did, sweetie.

And what was your favorite part about helping?

The masa. It's like Play-Doh.

Let's stop talking and start eating.

Not before grace.

Hear that, Hunter? I get to eat first.

Stop it.

She's a riot.

- She sure is. - Please,

please, don't encourage her.

Hey, Jack, if you don't mind,

I think I'd like to say the blessing this time.

Lead the way, partner.

Lord, thank You for my beautiful family

and for bringing Sally into my life.

And for the wonderful Christmas message shared

by Father Joseph to remind us of the hope

that You bring into all of our lives.

And Father, before we dig into this incredible meal,

I wanna give a special thanks for my sister Maria,

who's always willing and definitely ready

to pop me upside the head with her chancla

anytime she sees fit and when I need it the most.

- Amen. - Amen.

Y'all ready to dig in or what?

Yes.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ It came upon ♪

♪ A midnight clear ♪

♪ That glorious song ♪

♪ Of old ♪

♪ From voices waiting ♪

♪ Near the earth ♪

♪ To touch ♪

♪ Our harps of gold ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪